


For Those Who Wait

by KidWestHope16



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sun & Moon | Pokemon Sun & Moon Versions
Genre: Accidental Self Harm, Acerola is a princess, Acerola is royalty, Acerola tries to read through the whole library, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Adoption, Alain Redemption, Alternate Timeline, Ash Ketchum Protection Squad, Ash and Lillie have a sibling bond, Ash didn't stay in Alola au, Ash has touch aversion, Ash is god blessed, Ash is god touched, Aura User Ash, Baby Team Skull member, Big Sis Plumeria, Big brother Gladion, Bringer of destruction, Broken Kids, Cousin Hau, Dia adopts Ash, Dia is a good Uncle, Dia is a good friend, Dysfunctional Family, Faba is a bad man, Families of Choice, Family Bonding, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Found Family, Getting Back Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Gladion grew up a recluse, Gladion has a playlist, Gladion was 7yrs old when he joined Team Skull, God blessed, Good Parent Kukui-hakase | Professor Kukui, Guzma Redemption, Guzma and Acerola are semi siblings, Guzma has a couple of degrees, Guzma has a type Null, Guzma protection squad, Guzma swears, Guzma was Burnet's coworker, Guzma was just 14 when his world fell apart, Guzma worked for Aether, Healing, Heretic Guzma, Homesickness, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm bad at romance, I've got you | You've got this | We've all got each other, Imma make it hurt, JusticeforGuzma, Kukui had a jar of origami, Kukui teaches Gladion and Lillie Origami, Kukui teaches the class Origami, Lance is extra, Lillie grew up in isolation, Lillie is aura sensitive, Lillie protection squad, Lots of things happen off screen, Marriage Proposal, Married Couple, Married Life, Mentions of Sign Language, Nanu does right by Guzma, Nanu is a cat man, Nanu is the Kahuna of the island of misfits, Nanu is the reason for Team Skull, Nanu is tired, No Alola League, OTP Feels, Origami, Overprotective Guzma, Papa Kukui, Parent Guzma (Pokemon), Parent Kukui-hakase | Professor Kukui, Parenthood, Pika!Mew, Plumeria and Guzma backstory, Plumeria is angry at the world, Poipole is baby, Post Kalos crisis, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Professor Willow likes Guzma's hair, Protective Golisopod, Protective Siblings, Recovery, Redemption, Research assistant Ash, Sad, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Shenanigans, Sibling Bonding, Slowburn Adoption, Team Skull is full of misfits, Time Travel, Timeline What Timeline, Touch Aversion, Trust Issues, Uncle Guzma, Use of art therapy, Ya Boi was erased from memories, actors committing to their roles, aura isn't supposed to be used that way, aura reading emotions, bad timeline is because Lysander won, but in this case its same hairstyle, cameo appearances of Pokemon Go characters, death of a type Null in a flashback, descriptions about aura and its appearances, fudging the timeline, god touched, he embarrasses Kukui, he named it Gula, in regards to Hau and Guzma, independent Guzma, independent Plumeria, insight into aura, it's how Rocket Trio fooled Ash, mama burnet, minor game elements, mischievous Gladion, mute Acerola, mute Guzma, oblivious ash, overprotective Gladion, overprotective Kukui, overprotective Pikachu, pokephobia, same hat, shipper Lillie, sibling feels, some disassociation, spite adoption, stranded in an alternate timeline, taking life into your own hands, tampering with memories, team rocket focus on their business, the brighter color is positive, the darker color is negative, the redemption we deserved, then other people get the courage to heal by watching them, they help eachother heal, trauma ™, tricking aura sense, using tvtropes, will end after the Radiant one, zalgo text used
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:41:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 222,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22109533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KidWestHope16/pseuds/KidWestHope16
Summary: Ash never went to stay Alola. Couldn't bring himself to, he's that shaken from Kalos. Sure he's interested and all but ultimately decides that he doesn't want to stay, so he returns back to Kanto after dropping off the egg at the school.Kukui takes his class to Professor Oak's ranch and meets his assistant. A trainer who just might be able to help him, help Lillie. Only it isn't that easy, the kid is also heavily traumatized.
Relationships: Acerola & Kuchinashi | Nanu, Alan | Alain & Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Blanche & Candela & Spark & Willow-hakase | Professor Willow, Burnet-hakase | Professor Burnet & Gladio | Gladion & Lilie | Lillie & Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Burnet-hakase | Professor Burnet & Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Burnet-hakase | Professor Burnet/Kukui-hakase | Professor Kukui, Gladio | Gladion & Guzma, Gladio | Gladion & Lilie | Lillie, Gladio | Gladion & Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Gladio | Gladion & Skull-dan | Team Skull, Gladio | Gladion & Type: Null, Guzma & Burnet-hakase | Professor Burnet, Guzma & Golisopod, Guzma & Gula, Guzma & Hala & Hau, Guzma & Keleawe, Guzma & Kuchinashi | Nanu, Guzma & Kukui-hakase | Professor Kukui, Guzma & Plumeri | Plumeria, Guzma & Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Hoshigumo-chan | Nebby & Lilie | Lillie, Hoshigumo-chan | Nebby & Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Kenji | Tracey Sketchit & Ookido Shigeru | Gary Oak, Kenji | Tracey Sketchit & Ookido Yukinari-hakase | Professor Samuel Oak, Kenji | Tracey Sketchit & Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Kojirou | James & Musashi | Jessie & Rocket-dan Nyarth | Team Rocket Meowth, Kojirou | James & Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Kuchinashi | Nanu & Team Skull, Kukui-hakase | Professor Kukui & Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Lilie | Lillie & Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Mew & Mewtwo (Pokemon), Mew & Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Mewtwo & Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Musashi | Jessie & Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Ookido Shigeru | Gary Oak & Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Platane-hakase | Professor Augustine Sycamore & Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Professor Kukui & Satoshi | Ash Ketchum & Gladio | Gladion & Lilie | Lillie, Rocket-dan Nyarth | Team Rocket Meowth & Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Satoshi | Ash Ketchum & Gladio | Gladion & Lilie | Lillie & Burnet-hakase | Professor Burnet, Satoshi | Ash Ketchum & Satoshi's Pikachu | Ash Ketchum's Pikachu, Satoshi | Ash Ketchum & Satoshi's Pokemon | Ash Ketchum's Pokemon, Satoshi | Ash Ketchum & Zeraora & Dia (Pokemon), Satoshi's Pokemon | Ash Ketchum's Pokemon & Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Satoshu | Ash Ketchum & Dia (Pokemon), Zeraora & Dia (Pokemon)
Comments: 193
Kudos: 606





	1. Hello Stranger, Don't I Know You?

**Author's Note:**

> Fic title lyric: for those who wait - fireflight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: i choose you- Heaven Pascall and Ed Goldfarb.

"Alright class, I want you on your best behavior for Professor Oak's assistant." Kukui chided his students who gaze around the airport in awe. Lillie glanced nervously around, squeaking as a Pikachu passed close to her.

"Oops. Sorry, Pikachu." A boy called out, he had a red cap and was wearing a blue t-shirt and dark blue jeans. The Pikachu jumped towards him avoiding a sign, latching onto the boy's shirt and scampered onto his shoulder. The boy grinned nervously and pressed his cheek to the Pikachu.

 **[Kukui]** the sign read, Kukui blinked a few times before shrugging the age of the boy aside. The kids of Kanto all studied young to join their professions.

"That's us." Kukui neared the kid and watched him frantically back pedal with a look of warning in his eyes. He whirled around, sign at his back as he continued to walk and lead them to the exit. There was a bus there, an elderly man greeted the boy and Pikachu with smiles.

"Which one of you is Lillie?" The boy asked, everyone paused in getting seated and turned to face Lillie, Lillie meanwhile raised her hand.

"Ok." He stated simply and then sat down and disappeared from view.

That was that.

The ride to Pallet town was silent. Kukui was curious about the boy, he hadn't even introduced himself and had weaved through the crowds with skill. Something about the look he'd shot Kukui earlier was niggling at him but he doesn't know why.

"Ash, you've got a visitor." The driver sounded exasperated. The boy, Ash sat up and pulled down a window before laughing.

"We'll keep pace, Pikachu." Then the boy slipped out the window onto the roof just as a shadow, a large one, passed over the bus.

"Now don't you worry about Ash, him and Pikachu are in good hands with his Pidgeot." Kukui hadn't even noticed that he'd leapt out of his seat until the driver spoke.

Kukui sticks his head out the window, hand on his hat, wind in his face as he scans the skies. There a speck in the distance is the boy, Ash.

He can hear laughter.

The boy, Ash slips back into the bus as if nothing happened and stuck half his body out the window as he called out goodbyes. His Pikachu equally enthusiastic in saying goodbye. He sat down, raised the window shut and then disappeared from view again. That is until Kukui stood up to see that he was curled up in his seat with his Pikachu splayed out across his back petting his cheek. 

Brown eyes looked his way and glared in warning again. Pikachu too, took notice of him and sparked, the sparks bouncing harmlessly off his trainer. 

"Uh, hey. I'm Kukui." The Pikachu stood up when Kukui shifted closer after a small bump passed. He quickly backed up at the low growl.

"That's Pikachu, I'm Ash Ketchum. We'll be back in Pallet in thirty minutes." Kukui knew a dismissal when he heard one. It was strange, and concerning to be met with such hostility. He hopes none of that will be aimed at his students.

Ash gets off the bus first and thanks the driver before turning back to the bus with his sign and smiled nervously.

"Alright, Sam told me I'm in charge of leading you on the tour. Something about getting me to socialize more, _the traitor_ , but that's not important. We still have to walk a bit!" Ash told them as he leads them through the quaint little town. People and pokemon cheerfully greet them but all keep their distance. 

"You're flight was delayed a little so we're going to be stopping in about three hours for lunch and Sam will stop by to speak with you guys and give you a few lessons." Kukui wonders how old the kid was and how close he must be to call Professor Oak by his given name.

"Oh, right. Lillie should stay at the center of the group at all times, Pikachu buddy. Why don't you go on ahead and let the others know meet us at the front." Pikachu nodded and took off, disappearing in a yellow blur while Ash whirled around so he was walking backwards to face them.

"Sam mentioned that you have pokephobia, can you touch any pokemon?" Lillie was blocked from view by Mallow, the older girl always so overprotective. 

"Hey, I didn't mean anything bad by that." Ash didn't know asking about Lillie would alienate him and Kukui felt a little guilty. Especially when Ash had mentioned he was leading the tour because he needed to socialize more. 

"That's fine. Sorry." Ash turned back around mid step and continued walking, that took some skill. It was impressive. "After lunch is when that surprise you planned will be ready." They were lead to a house on a hill. It was grand, and Ash effortlessly walked to the door and let them in. He lead them through the house to the back where there were dozens upon dozens of pokemon from various regions assembled. 

He continued walking until he was a few feet away and whirled around to face them with his arms outstretched and a wide grin.

"Welcome to Kanto and to Professor Oak's ranch!" Kukui smiles, this kid was probably nervous about them.

"Pikapi!" There a second where Ash looks exasperated before he's _mauled_ by the pokemon behind him.


	2. I've Had My Adventure, I Don't Need Something New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: into the unknown- Idina Menzel and Aurora

Ash was laughing as he was tackled from all sides.

"I was only gone two hours!" He laughs. Paws, vine, horns, snouts, claws, beaks and tusks are all over him. 

"Wait. Wait! Wait!" Ash was breathless by the time Pikachu and Bulbasaur managed to corral the others. Ash rubbed his sides as he sat up, shooting Pikachu and Bulbasaur a small glare.

"Couldn't have stepped in sooner?" He asks as he climbs to his feet and dusts himself off. He turns around, freezing at the hand before his face, Pikachu is on his shoulder in seconds as he backs up a step and eyes the teacher.

"Are you okay?" Ash rubs his face with the backs of his hands as he mutters a short yes. The man backs up a few paces with a look that is equal parts alarmed and concerned. He turns a little to face his pokémon and keep the man in his peripherals.

"That's not why I had Pikachu call you over. Lillie, raise your hand." The girl raises her hand in confusion, the others closing ranks around her in wary confusion. "That's Lillie. She has pokephobia." His pokemon all pause and stare at her before looking to him with solemn nods as he rests his hands on his hips.

"Lillie doesn't like to be touched without permission, so make sure you give her space. And if _she_ wants to touch, or is okay with you coming close, then you can come closer to her. But _only_ if _she_ _**wants**_ to. I need a few of you to spread the news for me, okay?" There were various noises of agreement before his pokemon scattered until it was just most of his smaller pokemon, Hawlucha and Sceptile left behind.

Ash turned back to the class and clapped his hands together.

"Let's get started! We have a lot of ground to cover!" Ash thanks Sceptile for passing him his small clipboard. The back was decorated in stickers, and on the front he had a list of the class's names and ages along with a star by Lillie's name. He flipped through his check list, Tracy had made an itinerary for him. Why he couldn't say schedule was beyond Ash, but he made a list before he left on an errand for Sam.

"Okay, so we have water, fire, electric and grass type specialists and one undeclared. So for the undeclared we're going to start off with some of the other types of pokemon available. We'll start with normal type-" Ash sighed as he was tackled from the side and helped to his feet by Bayleef. "Thanks, right. To the normal types." Ash said as he lead the class away from their teacher who was told from the beginning that his class would take the first tour alone.

Ash was patting Snorlax's belly when Lillie spoke up. "Don't Snorlax spend more time asleep than awake?" Ash looked at Snorlax fresh from a swim, he needed to have another talk with Snorlax about taking the food being hidden under water. Then looked up at Snorlax who peered down at him, they both turned to Pikachu on his shoulder. Pikachu shrugged. 

"Snorlax is a little different... i guess." Ash stated hesitantly, his Snorlax was honestly the only one of Snorlax line that was actually a great swimmer, his speed aside. To be honest, most of his pokemon were anomalies.

They seem to accept his answer as he takes them the ground types next, his Tauros all left behind him for now as they enjoy playing with a ball. His donphan rolls up to them, Ash keeping his spinning pokemon in place with one hand until he unfurls and walks alongside him.

A few Ratatas, Raticates, dugtrio and a Doduo passed by playing a modified game with a frisbee, a pidgey and his Talonflame swooped down and stole the frisbee.

"How long have you been a research assistant?" Ash looked away from the spectacle before them and looked down at the youngest kid, Soph?

"Five years, on and off for various Professors across the regions. The past few months I've focused more on being a researcher more than a trainer." Ash winced at the explosion behind him and sent Bayleef off to play peacekeeper while he led the kids away from the start of a brawl.

"How come you call Professor Oak, Sam?" Ash rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well, that's cause I've known him all my life. That and me and his grandson are childhood friends." Ash looked back when someone squeaked. 

"You know Gary Oak?! His work with Professor Rowan was in the latest Pokenews!" Ash snickered as he remembers Gary had submitted his research under the name Ashley K.

In the same magazine. 

"Yeah, his mom and mine were friends. Both of us were born and raised in Pallet." He had all the right to call Sam by his given name. He said he could, even technically had permission it before Ash was born, despite having asked in person.

"Pikapi." Pikachu called out to him with a head shake.

"You're right buddy." He was already getting lost trying to make sense of what- nope. He was not going to keep thinking about this.

Suddenly it was dark and moist. Ash reached up, clipboard tucked under his arm as he scratched and pet Gible before lifting him off. Gible smiled at him, Ash smiled back despite trying to appear stern.

"Are... are you okay?" The green haired girl asked and Ash looked away from Gible.

"Yeah. We should hurry up, we should be reaching the grass pokemon just before lunch." He set Gible down and moved on, whispers behind him making his skin crawl.

"Why did you stop being a trainer?" The other male asked and Ash froze as thoughts of burning, and red, and pain filled him. Something landed at his feet.

> _The world was on fire. Ruins as far as the eye could see. Roots, red and pulsing with dark, malevolent energy wreaked havoc. The sound of thousands of people and pokemon screaming._
> 
> _Fighting._
> 
> _Crying._
> 
> _Dying._
> 
> _Temptation to just give in._
> 
> _Despite all the pain._
> 
> _The fire coursing through his veins, each breath a bucket of ice._
> 
> _It hurt._
> 
> _He knows that it would stop if..._
> 
> _He just..._
> 
> _**faded.** _
> 
> _**Away into nothing.** _

_"Pikapi."_ Ash blinked and saw Sceptile, resting his claws on Ash's shoulders.

Oh.

Sceptile nodded and led him away from the concerned students. He should probably say something to the kids.

Shouldn't he?

* * *

Lillie watched Ash completely stop in place, his pokemon all alert and looking at him. As the rest of the class neared him Lillie could see a faraway look in his eyes. His clipboard dropped to the ground, his finger grip going lax.

His Pikachu was rubbing their cheeks together with a concerned look. His Sceptile was calling out to him, claws gripping on his shoulders. 

"What's going on?" Mallow asked as she neared him, the pokemon closed around him, the Gible literally drawing a line in the ground with its claws.

Then Ash was moving. The Sceptile was leading him back towards the Professor's home. The Pikachu picked up the clipboard and then called their attention to him. Pikachu was talking, pointing to the clipboard that easily dwarfed him and then pointed to a plain just up ahead.

"I think... i think that Pikachu is trying to say he'll... finish the tour." Lillie hesitantly guessed, the pokemon nodded at her and was lifted up to rest on Donphan's head.

So the rest of the tour continued with Pikachu leading them towards the grass pokemon and introducing them to flying types, and some electric types on the way to the grass types.

A Bulbasaur was seen separating a couple of brawling pokemon. It seemed to notice Ash's absence as it looked to Pikachu before looking down with an expression of sadness.

What happened to Ash?

And how bad was it that his pokemon, (the ones that waited for him in the beginning had to be his) were this worried for him. 

The pokemon seemed to sense their turmoil and went out of their way to play, or drag them along onto fun games.

An Unfezant and a Levanny were the ones that actually reminded everyone it was lunch time.

Lillie looked away from the dancing totodile, who kept her company so she would not be left out. They cleaned up the mess of games they had left behind, and then followed the Unfezant back to Professor Oak's home.

* * *

"You must be Kukui, welcome!" Professor Oak greeted when Kukui entered the home and found the pokemon Professor and his cousin, the principal of the Alola school, in his study.

"Yes, thank you..." the Professor sighed, seemingly knowing Kukui's question.

"Ash will be fine with your students. He'll be on his best behavior, it's more adults that he has problems with." There was something unsettling about that. Especially when he could see the look of grief the pokemon Professor tried to hide. 

"Ash was a finalist in the Kalos league last year. He was there during the Kalos crisis... it changed him." He wasn't looking at them, instead he was looking out the window where the students were all studying some of the pokemon with Ash. 

"He won't talk about what happened, but it muat have been really bad to affect him like this. _Given that nothing in the past had._ " The Professor looked away from the window and towards his books with a contemplative look.

"He's doing better now, but he hasn't fully recovered. It's why I had him be your tour guide. That and he and his pokemon have experience with dealing with someone with pokephobia." Kukui jolted up from the seat he'd taken.

"What?" Professor Oak turned to face him as he pointed to a photo on the shelf.

"In Hoenn, in LaRousse city, the Lunds, that's them and their son there. Developed pokephobia when they were in the Artic." Kukui looked at the small boy being carried by a man and woman.

"I'm not sure if you heard about what happened in LaRousse city, but Rayquaza attacked and the whole city was evacuated. The system running the city experienced a glitch, and this was the first known instance of the pokemon Deoxys being seen. Two of them." Professor Oak rummaged through his drawers and pulled out a slim file that he passed to Kukui.

"Tory was friends with one of the Deoxys for over a year before this all happened, though he had been unaware that it was a pokemon. And by end he was able to touch Deoxys, and two other pokemon." Kukui looked at the rough sketches, they looked like they were drawn by a kid. There were also photos of Deoxys.

"Ash helped a little, and from what I hear, young Tory now has two registered pokemon and can touch several of his parents pokemon along with a porygon." Kukui wonders if he can get the kid to come back to Alola with him. He could help Lilli-

The door down the hall opened, Professor Oak looked out the window but the kids were no longer visible. Sceptile was pushing Ash, Ash was staring blankly at nothing. 

The look of grief was back as the Professor gestured to a door. The Sceptile nodded and pushed Ash until they were gone from sight.

"We don't know how to help him anymore." He whispered sadly. 

> _"No one will help me, I'm not broken! I love pokemon! I'm not afraid! Please let me go to school here!" Lillie was near tears as she pushed the enrollment forms to him. Kukui looked at the papers, absent of a parent signature but still signed, no doubt by the butler standing just outside the room. Kukui accepted the paperwork and put a hand on Lillie's shoulder._
> 
> _"I'll help you Lillie. Together, we're going to get you through this."_

"Let him come to Alola. It sounds like you've been enabling him. Letting him focus on those thoughts that have hurt him." Principal Oak looked at him, warning in his eyes, but Kukui proceeded anyway. This wouldn't be like Lillie. He would speak with Ash's mother in person.

"Alola is peaceful, and quiet. It might be better for him to be somewhere else, focus on something. My class this year is small, he could enroll." Professor Oak looked at him with a wan smile.

"That might be better. Better than him wandering and disappearing into the forests when he gets overwhelmed. But you'll have to speak with his mother... i know we've failed him by enabling him like this." And there it was, that look of grief. 

* * *

Ash sat in the window with Sceptile. A breeze ruffled his hair as he looked down at the field before him. Glalie, Pignite, Krookodile, Torkoal, Starraptor and Gliscor were having a battle not too far away Infernape, Quilava, Corphish and Swellow were playing some game with a boomerang. Noctowl flew by and perched on his knee while Muk oozed by and settled just under the windowsill.

"How did i get so lucky to have Pokemon like you?" Ash asked quietly, the burning subsiding as someone nudged him.

**He shut his eyes and then opened them to see Goodra, and Greninja's reflections in a pond. They waved at him.**

He blinked.

And he was once more looking at his pokemon playing and sparring.

* * *

Ash was talking with the bus driver, Pikachu held securely in his arms when Kukui and the kids walked to the town border. Ash looked away from the driver to wave at them, clipboard back in hand. It was as if past thirty minutes had never happened.

The kids were openly staring at him.

Staring at Lillie.

Lillie was staring at him with sympathy.

"Ryland is ready to drive us to-" Kukui waves and Ash freezes, eyes tracking his hands before nodding and simply climbing into the bus.

The drive is silent, but Ash is not hidden away this time. He's speaking softly with Pikachu.

"Okay. So that still leaves about two thirds of the corral that we need to finish showing off. We can get through another third today, and tomorrow the last third. Oh man, Tracy's schedule fell apart." There was some frantic scribbling for the duration of the ride.

The bus skidded to a stop and Ash was up and out the doors in seconds as he rushed off into the brush without a warning.

"Don't worry. Just some kids getting into mischief, Ash will settle it. Lucky I caught sight of them, else the reckless boy would've jumped out." The driver sighs in relief. 

A bright light lit up behind him suddenly. 

Ash comes back licking his wrist, Pikachu was licking his elbow. There were two oran berries in his hands.

"They need a ride to Cerulean pokemon center." Ash opted to remain standing at the front of the bus while two young adults wandered in covered in various scrapes and bruises. They sat down, shame faced, Ash leaned back with his arms crossed over his chest and watched them with a shrewd narrowed gaze of distrust.

"We get it! Geez! We'll leave the Beedril alone." Ash said nothing, pointedly looking to the window where a single beedril was following along to make sure they actually left.

Ash and Pikachu ate the two berries, never once breaking eye contact.

Oh. No wonder he was furious. He remembers how territorial the beedril were. It was frightening. 

The young adults were dropped off, the beedril having left when they left its territory. 

"Welcome to cerulean city." Ash said tiredly as he led them out the bus and through the streets. He looked uncomfortable. Shoulders up to his ears despite the confident walk as he led them to the gym. He pushed open the doors.

And it was like he was a new person.

"Hey Ash!" Everyone freezes at the casual greeting between the Water and Rock type gym leaders and their guide Ash. He's hugging them, Pikachu is getting chin scratches.

It's like a big family.

Nothing like how they remember the gym leaders being described as. Professor Kukui also seems taken aback.

"Welcome to the Cerulean gym. I'm Misty the gym leader." The orange haired gym leader said with a grin. The older boy beside her hugging Ash llooked up.

"I'm Brock, the Pewter rock gym leader." The two radiate confidence. He and the water gym leader share a look over Ash's head and grin fiercely at the kids.

"How 'bout a battle?" They ask, Ash looks at them and grins with a fierceness that takes them all aback.

"A battle?! This is gonna be awesome!" He says as he backs up. "Pikachu and i will be cheering you guys on!" He says shooting them a thumbs up as he runs to the bleacher. He runs up and down the bleachers trying to find a good spot before settling on the middle.

As Kiawe uses his z move he hears a loud clambering noise behind him. Ash lands perfectly balanced on the stand beside him and instanlty crouches down and starts gushing about the z move. Firing off question after question with glee.

There's a spark in his eyes. It motivates Kukui to respond when Ash sits down, Pikachu in his arms so as to not crowd Lillie.

"You know, you can come to Alola and learn all about the z moves and z crystals there if you wanted to." Kukui said, Ash paused in his cheering. Ash stared blankly at him.

Eyes narrowed, Pikachu too watched him.

Kukui kept his expression open, he had nothing to hide. Ash was on his feet and walking off in seconds, Kukui carefully hid his disappointment. 

"I can tell you aren't battlers, well, one of you is. We'll show you a real battle. Well, how 'bout it Ketchum?" Misty called out with a chesire grin, Ash jumped off the bleachers and landed in a crouch. He rose to his feet and grinned back, challenge in his eyes as he made his way to the challengers spot.

Ash had his arm outstretched, Pikachu using it as a platform to jump off as his flipped his cap in reverse. 

"Only if there's no hard feelings!" Kukui could see that the two were teasing each other. He wonders how his students will react to this battle. He knows that Kanto's fighting style was a sight to behold, especially when they didn't really on z moves or mega stones.

Kukui was amazed. This kid was so unorthodox. He was a battle genius, and from what the Pewter gym leader said, he learned to think like him.

This kid beat a mega Gyarados with a Pikachu!!! No z moves. No mega stones. Nothing but his confidence and skills as a trainer and in his pokemon. An electro ball powered by iron tail, beat mega Gyarados. 

"Isn't my buddy amazing?" He gushed, Pikachu perched on his shoulder. The trio shared looks of joy as they met together in the center.

"I missed you guys!" He exclaimed as he spread his arms out and hugged the two. He seemed to say something to them as both gym leaders instantly zeroed in on him with contemplative looks before separating.

"We're heading back with you." They declared and just like that the kids got to ask more questions and Ash was back to scribbling at his clipboard on the drive back.

* * *

Brock is listening to Ash talk softly about the offer, he and Misty had whispered the choice was his. But he knows that Ash had gone to Alola nearly four months ago to drop off an egg and had only been able to go because he'd brought Krookodile, Infernape, Hawlucha, Pikachu, Bulbasaur and Sceptile.

Brock also knows that Ash is restless. He can sense the wanderlust he carries. Ash is really too free spirited to be chained down in one place for too long. It's why he has so many tournaments and competitions under his belt.

He's so young, his credentials are ridiculous, even by Kanto standards.

"Lillie, she has pokephobia." Misty looks at Brock with a knowing glint in her eyes. Brock can see that she has seen his realization as well.

Ash wanted to help. He felt the _need_ to help, there was really no stopping him when he felt that urge.

"But she _knows_ so much about them. She _loves_ pokemon, she loves them as much as I do." He spoke softly, his voice very nearly cutting out as he surreptitiously glanced behind them.

"Talk with your mom about it." She would probably be all for helping him out in anyway that she could. He still remembers her expression. The guilt that he carries now is a testament to that.

Ash nods, he sits in a quiet mood the rest of ride over.

* * *

Lillie watches as Misty, and Brock walk with Ash in the middle. It was like seeing two book ends, fiercely protective but trying not to show it. They answer everyone's questions, but one of them is paying attention to Ash at all times. Stepping in front of him whenever they get too close. Especially Professor Kukui. 

Something happened to him. It's affecting him, and he looks like he's hit a block too.

He was just like her. Cracked, _Not broken,_ not like they used to whisper about her. Lillie loved pokemon. She _wasn't_ afraid. 

Ash loved people and pokemon. He helped perfect strangers. _He wasn't afraid, but he backed up all the same._

* * *

Ash took the students back to the corral to finish the tour. Leading them further into the small forest to show off some of the pokemon within.

"So you're on your way to being a doctor and you're going to a water Pokemon master. How did you three even meet?" Mallow, he's sure, asks. Ash whistles innocently, Pikachu copying the gesture as he tries to slip away. A hand on his collar stops him in place.

"Someone fried my bike, so I decided to tag along until I was paid back." Ash laughed nervously as he hung from his friend's grip. Pikachu was endearing himself to the red head like the traitor he was.

"But aren't you the gym leader?" The blue haired girl, Lana asked, Misty dropped Ash.

"I'm one of four, though I'm running the gym most of the time now." Ash sighed in relief and dusted his pants off.

"I found Brock's dad. _T_ _hehobo_." Ash muttered the last part mutinously. "And he decided to go back to running the gym." Ash said abruptly before anyone could ask the doctor in training. Brock sent him a grateful look that Ash pointedly pretended not to see.

"Oh look. Bulbasaur!" He ran off, he could hear sighs of exasperation behind him as he snickered.

Misty and Brock very pointedly stared at his back, their stare _did not burn,_ and followed him.

He glanced back as the kids shared looks of confusion and followed after them and get to explore some more.

Ash looked up when he heard the students. Misty and Brock barely made any noise, used to going through the brush. 

"Oh, hey Mew." Ash greeted the playful feline, Bulbasaur hanging from one shoulder. He could hear the kids behind him freaking out while Misty and Brock facepalm.

"Mew?" The feline was in his face, staring. Ash simply stared back, Bulbasaur grew tired of the staring contest and grabbed the mythical around the waist and launched it into the tree with extreme prejudice.

Ash curled into himself laughing.

"Why? Just why Ash?" Brock sounded done, behind him, Mew was having a slap fight with Bulbasaur. 

"Mew messed with the babies." Ash wheezed, Brock let out a sound of enlightenment. Ash was on the floor wheezing as he gripped his sides. Misty effortlessly hauled him to his feet.

"Alright chuckle head, Mew likes you best." She said shoving him towards the slap fight. He scooped Mew into his arms, laughing still.

Ash was leading the students back, it was nearing the time he had to feed the pokemon. Mew hung around his neck like a scarf, Pikachu looked put upon but was content being carried.

"How the heck do you have a Mew?!" Ash and Mew looked at one another.

"Ash doesn't have a Mew. _Mew_ has an _Ash._ " Brock lightly punched his arm when he shot him an offended look. "It's true." Come to think of it, Legendary pokemon did own him. Which now that he stops to think about it... nope.

Not thinking about it.

"Hey Sam! We're back!" Ash called out to the Professors as they neared the house.

* * *

"Hello Delia, my name is Professor Kukui. I'm the regional professor of Alola, and a teacher at the pokemon schoo-" Delia held up a hand, she turned to her Mr. Mime and had a hushed conversation with it before she dried her hands on her apron and grabbed Kukui's hand. She practically dragged him out of the kitchen and into a small day room. 

She had tea prepared on a small table and was serving them both cups as she looked him in the eyes. 

"What are your intentions with taking my son into your school? What expectations do you have? What are you hoping to get out of it? Are you going to be using him as a research assistant? Do you plan to just use him to help that young girl with pokephobia and then hang him out to dry when he's done his purpose? What are you willing to do to accommodate him?" She fired question after question. A hard look in her once warm brown eyes.

Kukui swallowed and took a deep breath to steady himself.

"I wanted to see if I could help him. And if he could help Lillie in return. If he can't help Lillie, I was hoping that I could still see if i could help him, Alola is very peaceful. It might be better for him to get away and not have any enablers, maybe that will help a little. I don't really need a research assistant." Kukui's hand came to rest under his chin as he muttered to himself about the empty loft and how he had the space. How he was also thinking of maybe having Lillie move in since it was just her and her butler with no parental supervision.

Or maybe Ash could move in with Lillie? No.

That wouldn't make sense, they would probably just end up enabling each other.

"Ah! Sorry, I got sidetracked. I wanted to know if there was anything I had to look out for? Did he have any triggers? Or food allergies? Any injuries?" 

It was a back and forth for several minutes, Kukui taking notes as quickly as he could, asking for clarification on some instances.

"What do you mean legendary magnet?" Delia was already up on her feet and heading to the kitchen as she turned her head slightly to wink at him.

"Ash has several papers written under a pseudonym. I'm sure you can figure it out." And then she was gone behind a set of doors.

"Hey Sam! We're back!" Came a laughing voice, Kukui left the dayroom and peered out the window to see Professor Oak chuckling while his cousin gaped at...

**_MEW?!_ **

Mew was resting on the young trainer's neck, Pikachu looking put upon as the teen carried the electric mouse in his arms. A Bulbasaur walked beside him looking disgruntled. 

"Oh my, I see Bulbasaur is still fighting with Mew." The old Professor remarked.

_Still?!_

"Yeah! They've come to an agreement though!" The teen smiled, his smile was warm, radiating kindness. The Pokemon around him were turning toward him, like flowers to the sun. The two gym leaders had fond smiles on their faces.

"Eh? What happened to your cousin?" He sounded so concerned as he jogged closer and practically lifted the older man to his feet. He lead him to the steps and helped him sit before he entered the house, Kukui could hear him call out to his mother for a glass of water for Sam's cousin.

He returned a few seconds later with the glass, sans Mew and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Is Kanto too cold?" He looked so concerned, it honestly moved Kukui a little. He was obviously nervous, practically dancing in place as he looked to Professor Oak.

"No. He's fine, why don't you go have the students help you feed the pokemon, by the time you finish dinner will be ready." Ash nodded his head and lead Kukui's students and the gym leaders to the back of the house.

"You should go help too." Professor Oak said, Kukui had the feeling the pokémon Professor was trying to tell him something.


	3. And The Longer That You Stay, The Ice Is Melting, And The Pain Feels Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: you don't know me - Elizabeth Gillies

Ash was diligently explaining how to feed the Pokemon based on type, preferences that Pokemon had and diets. The students were nodding along as they helped him, he had Lillie specifically helping Bulbasaur who had taken her under his vines.

Bulbasaur was good for her, he kept his distance, calling out to her from afar to get her attention and extending vines out for the food trays she poured out so that she would not be swarmed.

Only having to use solar beam once!

A real step up! Though, that was only because everyone was being on their best behavior so as to not frighten the blonde haired girl.

"Hey Ash! Carry this barrel for me!" Ash looked away from the Tauros herd he had just finished serving and the green haired girl that was asking him about the several different types of food he had mixed in.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. One minute!" Ash called out as he turned back to the girl, she looked at him curiously.

"Any way, my Tauros generaly like to share everything! Sometimes they don't, but they are a herd, so they like to make sure that everyone else in the herd gets an equal chance. This one, likes more spicy flavors and this one likes sweets!" Ash rubbed the horns of two separate Tauros.

"How do you tell them apart?" Ash looked back at the two tauros. They stared down at him with bright purple eyes, then looked to the rest who had onyx eyes aside from three with azure eyes.

Then he looked to the ones with slightly different shades of tan or brown fur or scruffs.

He eyed the two that had identical hooves and then the leader of the Tauros herd who had ivory horns.

"They... they look different..." he watched her scan the Tauros but she passed over the ones with the most obvious differences. He hummed before patting the two tauros, accepting the horn to his shoulders and went to help Misty carry barrels to the water pokemon.

Ash laughed as totodile danced instead of eating. Buizel scolded him and split his food with him, forcing him to slow down and eat. Totodile scarfed down his food and went back to dancing.

"Are all totodile like that?" Lana asked, Ash shook his head while Misty splashed Ash.

"No, this guy just picks the weird ones." She paused as Ash was tossed into the water from behind, he resurfaced to see Bayleef. "Or rather they choose him." Ash huffed indignantly, even as Bayleef used vine whip to help him out of the water.

"Yeah, well. Vine whip!" Bayleef slammed her vines into the water and sliced water upwards. A curtain fell on Misty, and Lana... oops.

"Run Bayleef!!!" Ash laughed as he took off, he was hiding behind Brock within minutes.

"You pissed off Misty again, didn't you?" Ash stifled a laugh as he moved to hide completely behind him. He chuckled under his breath but continued talking to the red and brown haired teen before him.

"You might want to talk to Ash about fire types though, he has more experience with them." Ash peered around Brock to see Misty walk back to the pond, no longer angry and stepped out from behind him.

"What about fire types?" The teen shot him a sceptical look, he let the look slide as Infernape wrapped him up in a hug to dry him off.

"Thanks buddy!" The simian grinned at him and accepted the shoulder pats.

"What did you need to know about fire types?" The teenager looked down at him with a contemplative look. Ash could feel Infernape settle his arms across Ash's shoulders and then he leaned his entire weight on Ash, practically hanging off him but Ash didn't budge, aside from tilting his head back to meet the wide grin with a smile of his own.

"How do you keep the passion of their fires burning?" Ash crossed his arms over his chest and peered at his feet.

"Hm, spicy foods, lots of it." He heard a strangled noise that cut off as he raised his head with his outstretched fist clenched tightly before him.

"And lots of good battles! The harder the better! No challenge is horrible for training fire types, if there's not even a bit of a struggle then what's the point? You've gotta reach for the victory! It's gotta be hard won and earned!" Ash raised his fist to the air, Infernape agreed behind him. Instantly getting into a boxing position and throwing a few jabs at Ash who blocked them and returned a few of his own.

"You've gotta keep bringing the fire! Make it harder! Grow stronger together! Right buddy?" Ash laughed as they both managed to slam their fists together hard enough to echo slightly and create a slight stir of wind.

"But everyone trains differently, so you need to find your own style too!" Ash stated as he turned to face the teen, he was flummoxed by the dumbfounded look the teen wore, Brock simply shrugged at him.

Ash moved on to the ground, electric and flying types next. There he found the youngest student of the class studying the electric types. Pikachu scampered forward and then his pokemon seemed to latch onto Pikachu.

Ash looked at the smaller teen, his electric mouse pokemon was kind of harassing Pikachu. But Pikachu hadn't said anything yet, so he left it alone.

For now.

"Uh, what was your name again? Soph?" The teen jumped then looked at Ash suspiciously.

"Sophocles, my friends call me Soph." Ash put his hands up and backed up a step, making to apologize when the teen pointed at Pikachu.

"Togedemaru really likes Pikachu." Ash nodded, Pikachu looked out upon while Togedemaru cheerfully rubbed against him and sparked wildly.

"Did you know the Alolan Raichu is part psychic?" Ash was floored, Pikachu equally so.

"That's so amazing!!!" Ash cheered excitedly asking the other boy question after question about the alolan variants and receiving questions in return.

They passed the time pretty quickly after that.

The other students helping him feed the last of the pokemon as they made their way back towards the barn that held the food. 

"Thanks for helping out, I finished a lot earlier than usual." Ash grinned as he set down the last barrel and locked the barn door. 

"Do you feed the pokemon by yourself? How long does it usually take?" Ash hummed as he scratched his cheek.

"It usually takes about two to three hours. Not usually. Tracy helps me, but he's in Hoenn right now. Gary does too, when he's home." Pikachu nods along then turns to him.

"Pikapi... chu?" Ash froze then whirled around to check his surroundings before scanning the skies.

"Oh man!" He smacked his forehead with his palm and let out heavy sigh.

"Can you go look for Mew and make sure they haven't caused any trouble." Pikachu saluted him and raced off. Brock patted his shoulder.

"At least it's just Mew." Ash nods, it could have been Hoopa that decided to come over and cause mischief.

"Wait. Do..." Ash looks up when Soph... ocles grabs his attention. "Other legendaries get into fights with your pokemon too?" Ash blinks at the question. Oh, yeah. Their introduction to Mew was the feud.

"Nah. Mew just made some babies cry and Bulbasaur took offense. _Although Hoopa is really pushing it._ " Ash coughs into his fist, then turns to Brock to ask him if he could give the class some lessons on baby pokemon when a large shadow falls across all of them.

Snorlax stands before them, Ash turned to Brock to get out his request before Snorlax can move.

"Can you give them a few pointers about baby pokemon-"

A large paw wraps around his waist.

"Ah, Snorlax, Wait! No! Snorlax!!!!!" Ash cried as he was picked up and carried off for a nap until dinner time.

Misty was grinning devilishly as she waved at him, Brock looked skyward. Clearly questioning Arceus himself.

The students were in shock, oh, this was probably worrying.

"It's normal! I'll be back in an hour! Lillie, stick with Bulbasaur!" Ash called out before Snorlax carried him out of view and onto a hill with a nice shady patch of clouds. Ash watches the clouds drift by, Mew floated by and lazily drifted downwards to lie on Snorlax and fell asleep.

Ash sighed but made himself comfortable and shut his eyes to rest. He never really fell asleep for these naps.

There was a nice breeze. It was comfortably warm, he did feel a little tired. He'd just rest a little.

He fell asleep within seconds.

Ash jolted awake at the tug on his leg and blearily peered around to see Mew also peering around. Another pointed tug had him looking down to see Mr. Mime with his arms crossed and foot tapping.

"Uh... oops?" He was pulled free of Snorlax's hold and lightly pinched his cheeks to wake himself up. That was definitely a first. He usually didn't fall asleep that quickly. Or stay asleep well past an hour. Usually it was about thirty minutes give or take.

It was mostly to indulge Snorlax. 

"Mimemimemister." Ash blinked then nodded. Yeah, he did have a lot of fun today.

What did that have to do with anything?

"Mistermimemister." Oh. Well. That made sense.

"Guess it has been a while since I really interacted with other people... even Brock and Misty. It's just usually Mom, Sam, Tracy and Gary when he stops by." Ash rubbed his arms and looked down at the hand patting his lower back. Mr. Mime looked proud of him.

"Thanks Mimey." Ash rushed off to wash his hands before the Mime could toss him again 

* * *

Delia smiled as Ash came out with Mr. Mime, hands in the air to show that he had washed them. Pikachu bounded off Delia's shoulder, to the floor and forward to Ash's shoulder.

Ash laughed sheepishly. 

"I fell asleep." He muttered as he accepted the plate of food. He seemed to be unaware of the looks of relief being aimed at him. He still looked tired but she was glad he finally got some undisturbed sleep.

"Alright everyone, let's eat!" Ash was talking with all the other kids without a shred of wariness and she felt relief course through her veins. It would honestly be better for him to go to Alola.

Maybe he would recover better there.

She resolved to set aside some time to talk to him about it. This might be just what he needs.

She _knows_ he's restless. He isn't like her, he's just like his father and her father. Traveling is in his blood. She knows, had whatever he would not talk about, not happened, he would have gladly gone on to keep traveling.

She knows that whatever happened in Kalos was big enough to affect him in ways that none of his other... _Adventures_ , had before. 

> _"He won't talk about it Brock. I don't know what to do. How did you... what did you do to help him?" There was silence, the teen was sitting on the couch staring at his clasped hands._
> 
> _"I think traveling helped. I really didn't do **anything,** we just... we never really talked about what happened. We just made sure we were okay and took time to just... see nature." Brock bent down so his forehead rested on his clasped hands._
> 
> _"It was just being near each other and seeing how peaceful the world was around us, despite what we've just gone through, that helped more than anything." Delia bit her lip, tears in her eyes as she looked out the window to see Ash surrounded by his pokemon._
> 
> _He was staring out at the sky, looking as if a stiff wind might blow him over._
> 
> _"He refuses to leave Kanto. Professor Oak offered him a permanent position as one of his researchers, since he's always helped the regional pokemon Professors." Brock looked up at her, his expression crumpling._
> 
> _"I'm **so** sorry." He whispered, voice cracking. Delia shook her head, Ash would not want his friend to blame himself over not journeying with him._
> 
> _"We'll.. we'll get through this somehow." Delia promised. Brock nodded, scrubbing his face dry as he stood up and went to go see Ash._
> 
> _She watched her son start, Pikachu soothe him, and then just slump against Brock as if he were tired._

"Can we take a picture of Mew?" Sophocles-chan asked, Delia pressed a hand to her cheek as the small mythical pokemon ate a cookie. She was not going to think about how difficult it was earlier. Ash was doing better.

_Even if his progress has gone stagnant._

"Mew doesn't like pictures, you'll just end up with a regular pokemon." Ash explained as he tried to pry the ketchup bottle away from Pikachu.

"Pikachu, we had a deal!" Ash had Pikachu in one hand and the ketchup bottle in the other.

"Pika!" Came the muffled reply, as Pikachu bit down harder on the ketchup bottle. Delia could hear the kids laugh but her heart was pounding in her chest as she abandoned her plate of food and rushed to grab Pikachu. Professor Oak had the same idea as he had shoved his food at his cousin, a hand already outstretched to grab Ash.

Delia had Pikachu and the ketchup bottle while Professor Oak had Ash hanging limply in his arms with a pout.

"Your spoiling Pikachu." He complained, even as Delia kept a smile on her face while her heart continued to pound in her chest.

"It's just one bottle today, no ketchup tomorrow right Pikachu?" Pikachu nodded, ear twitching. She didn't want a repeat of the last time a bottle of ketchup exploded.

Her son hadn't been able to look at anything tinted red for two months after he came home.

He's come so far.

Yet it was not enough.

 _They_ were not enough.

* * *

"Fine, no ketchup tomorrow." Pikachu chirped in acknowledgement shaking his finger in agreement. There was a snicker behind them, Ash realized he was three feet off the ground. Sam was carrying him.

He sighed, Sam laughed apologetically and set him down.

"You're still so short." Ash huffed. He was _still_ growing, he was _not_ short.

"Mew." Misty shrieked as she found herself upside down, Mew giggled as she flailed, Brock wisely backed away. His mama pinched his cheek with a sigh. Ash pouted and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Fine. Mew, want some juice?" Mew set her down and took Professor Kukui's juice. Ash very pointedly did not laugh at the flabbergasted expression, his mama did the same. They very pointedly did not acknowledge the stares and instead looked to Mr. Mime as he presented desert to them first.

"Thanks Mimey!" They said, the Mime nodded and walked off.

Ash looked at the serious expression his mama wore, then to the papers on the table. Mr. Mime sat on the chair beside her with an equally serious look, and Pikachu sat beside him on the table.

"You want me to go... to Alola... don't you." He whispered looking down at his hands. They were shaking, he slid them off the table onto his lap.

"I think... Professor Kukui is a nice man... I feel, he would be able to help you." Ash glanced to the side at Pikachu, Pikachu was watching him with concerned eyes. 

Always full of concern.

Always wary.

But he hadn't been like that with these other teenagers.

"You don't have to." She reached her hands across the table and for one second, ~~just for a second~~ , he _didn't want_ to reach out. But he didn't want to hurt her again. Not like he had when he came home and every touch _burned._

He set his hands in hers, she gently grasped them, as if aware of his thoughts.

She brought them to rest against her forehead.

"What I _want_ more than anything, is for _you,_ to be happy. You _aren't_ happy staying here." That _hurt._

"You're hurting, and we can't help you... we let you retreat..." Mama sniffed. "And that's wrong, it isn't helping you heal." Ash wanted to protest that they helped! They _had!_

He could _touch._

He could _look_ at Mr. Mime.

He could _look_ at his hats.

And at _**Pikachu's** **cheeks.**_

He _**could go**_ to Professor Oak's lab and be his assistant.

He _**could go**_ out into the field around Kanto and help Gary do various things.

He'd even _gone_ to Alola to deliver and egg and before that he'd gone to Unova with Gary to see the Genesect.

Mr. Mime could use psychic on him and he **_didn't_ _panic!_**

He _was_ **better!**

He _**was!**_

~~ He! ~~

~~He-~~ Mama lowered his hands to the table. Rubbing gentle circles along the insides of his wrists.

A soft sound caught his attention, he felt a paw on his cheek and looked down. Pikachu was in tears as he wiped Ash's cheek.

"Pikapi." he whispered, Ash bowed his head.

"What if I trust the wrong person?" He whispered tearfully, mama was up and out of her chair in seconds.

She was hugging him tightly, whispering that she was going to make sure that Professor Kukui would not harm him in any way and that if any harm came to him she would personally come over to Alola and bring him back while making sure there was one less Pokemon Professor. 

**Ash could feel another set of arms hugging him, feelings of protectiveness and gentle reminder that he was not alone.**

That he had pokemon friends that would be with him. As if to prove her point there was an additional Pikachu on his lap. Ash reluctantly signed the paperwork and looked to his Mama, who was initialing where she was supposed to.

She said he would be living with the pokemon Professor and that meant he wouldn't need to pack half of what he normally would. Mr. Mime was upstairs packing for him, everything he would probably need.

"So that means I can only bring Pikachu and Mew?" Ash asked, his mama signed the last form and stamped it with her seal and grabbed his hand.

"I know they make you feel safe, but the Professor was saying that they help enable you...but I argued with him to let you bring three pokemon. Mew and Pikachu are two." Ash nodded and looked to the two who nodded at one another and then scurried out of the house to the ranch to go see who would be the third.

"Mew isn't my Pokemon though." Mama winked at him. "He doesn't know that." Ash blinked. Then giggled as he realized what his mama meant.

He could bring two and Mew would tag along.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning." Mama said kissing his forehead, he didn't feel as guilty anymore that he didn't sleep at home but since he was leaving he decided to try and sleep a few hours at home for once. 

Ash glanced around his room. Taking in the trophies and awards. His badge collection, the Ķ̵͑a̵̡̞͆l̷̨̙̺̤͓̚ṑ̴͚͍̞̦͔̦̓s̵̞̩̓͑͂̐ badges face down. He reached out to grab the board and stood it up. He reached for the medal Bonnie had made, rubbing the smooth surface with a fond smile. He should write and tell her he was going to Alola, so she wouldn't get upset that he took so long to respond to her.

" _I'm not afraid. Nothing happened._ " Ash whispered to himself as he changed into pajamas and crawled into bed.

Pikachu crawled in through the window and grabbed his stuffed larvitar and curled up to sleep. Ash curled around Pikachu and shut his eyes.

It's funny. He's been home for a few months but hasn't actually gone to sleep in his bed, instead sleeping with his pokemon. And now he was going to leave.

And he already missed home.


	4. I'm Not Perfect, But I Keep Trying, 'Cause That's What I Said I Would Do From The Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: perfect - hedley

Ash stood in the airport with Brock, Misty, Professor Oak and his Mother. He was visibly uncomfortable as he lingered beside them.

Kukui and Ash were the last ones to board the plane, letting Ash get accustomed to the crowd. Letting him know that he could still choose to stay if he wished to. Kukui had made it perfectly clear before they left Pallet, that Ash could choose to ignore his offer.

"They're going to close the door soon." Ash shifted in place, hands clenching his backpack strap. A Pikachu on each shoulder. Kukui wonders when Ash decided to bring another Pikachu, and if Mew decided to stay behind. Come to think of it, he really should have asked about Ash's pokemon.

He'd really only gotten a glimpse at them. 

"Ok." Ash said, clenching his teeth and looking everyone over once. He smiled, it was genuine and relaxed.

Ash looked around one last time as if memorizing each face.

"I'll call when we land." He said and skirted past Kukui without making it seem like it until Kukui made to follow and both Pikachu turned and looked at him for a second before nodding.

Ash and Lillie were seated beside him, they were the closest to the door. They didn't say anything but their silence was a companionable one. Ash had the window seat, Lillie beside him and Kukui at the end. Lillie had a book on her lap, a guide map to Kanto. 

"Brock used to carry that one. Never really helped... i got us lost so many times." Ash laughed twisting so that his feet were resting on the seat and his back was pressed to the window.

"How did you get lost?" Ash looked embarrassed at Lillie's question.

"I don't really know." She drops the matter and the rest of the plane ride goes in silence. 

Ash didn't move from the door. All the passengers had exited the plane, leaving only Lillie, Ash and Kukui.

His whole body was tense, shoulders jerking up and down with quick uneven breaths.

"I'm not scared!" He declared when Kukui made to offer him help. Both Pikachu were on the floor looking up at him. One climbed on his shoulder and nuzzled his cheek to Ash's. His hands clenching and unclenching as he slid a foot forward. His hand shot out and latched onto the railing on the wall. The railing rattled, Kukui felt concern.

Ash's eyes lock onto him, full of distrust and suspicion and Kukui gently puts a hand to Lillie's shoulder and walks ahead. He can hear Ash follow behind them, a few paces back, but moving steadily.

"I'll make my way out and meet you outside." Ash disappears into the crowd. Principal Oak shoots him a pointed stare and begins to usher the kids out of the airport. Kukui leads Lillie through a different route as he had before, keeping an eye out for Ash.

He spots him a few times. Slipping through the crowds with ease. He keeps his hand on Lillie's shoulders at all time, making sure to keep any pokemon away from her.

* * *

Ash is standing outside, a Bayleef was letting her spicy scent ooze off her so that no one would draw near him.

"Ash." Ash looked away from Mew disguised as a Pikachu. Pikachu Mew prodded his shoulder for more pets, he resumed petting them and looked up to see the whole class assembled. Ash pressed his shin to Bayleef's side and she surpressed her scent so that it was only noticeable if you were within a foot of her.

"We're going to be taking another bus." Ash shuffled his feet, he hummed to himself as he returned Bayleef after a pointed nudge from one of her vines. Pikachu climbed back onto his shoulder and draped himself over Ash's back. Ash sighed softly but nodded, following the class from behind. 

Ash was sitting beside Lillie, Professor Kukui was standing up and walking down the aisle. Lillie was stiff beside him, even though he had Pikachu and Pikachu Mew beside him and away from her. Ash shifted so that his back was to the window and his pokemon were completely hidden from view. She relaxed slightly.

"You can't even be near pokemon?" He asked, Lillie jumped slightly then held up her arm. It was covered in goosebumps.

"I'm _not_ scared." She stated defensively, Ash believed her. She'd been so knowledgeable about the pokemon on the ranch. So enthusiastic to meet them.

She was just _like_ him.

"I know." He said, she relaxed, hands clasped on her lap. She looked down, shoulders loosening a little. Ash held out his hand to her, catching her attention. 

"How about this..." he offered instead, seeing this as a way reach out to her. "Every time you get closer to touching a pokemon... the less steps I take back. And the less ... I retreat... the closer you get to a pokemon. Deal?" He said, she looked at his wavering hand, Ash shook it out nervously. She smiled and grasped his hand.

"It's a deal." She agreed with a smile. Ash shook her hand twice and let go with a relieved look. She too, look relieved as she leaned back a little. They caught each other's movements and smiled.

Ash wanted to help her, and it looks like she wanted to help him too. Pikachu patted his shoulder, he had a look of approval. 

"I've been reading books... and recovery has several steps. How did you want to start this?" Ash looked down at Lillie's hands, they were soft and smooth, compared to his hands, which were rougher with some smaller burns and scars scattered up and down his arms and hands.

"I can't be within five feet of someone I don't know, I can't put my back to them. Pikachu is always nearby, ready to attack if I get too uncomfortable in someone's presence." Ash admitted softly, Lillie brought her satchel to her lap and pulled out her notebook. 

"Are you okay with me writing this down?" Ash nodded and she began scribbling away.

"I can't be within two feet of a pokemon before I start breaking out into goosebumps. If I touch one, I freeze." Ash watched her create two columns. 

"I can touch strangers but not for long, and usually i have one of my pokemon within arms reach." She wrote that down.

They spent the next few minutes going over their limits and triggers.

And made a plan.

Each time Ash was able to stay beside someone without flinching back. Then Lillie would move closer to touching a pokemon. Ash would help her get closer to feeling comfortable with being near a pokemon and she would help him feel comfortable being around Professor Kukui.

Ash looked around the Professor's house, Bayleef already out and scanning the area. Scraggy was in his arms with a leer aimed at the Professor. 

"Welcome to my home, that loft up there is where you'll be staying. Is that alright?" Ash looked at the loft and nodded. He'd be able to hear if the man came closer, and there was a window right there. 

"I wanted to go over some ground rules, would you be comfortable sitting at the table to go over them?" Ash looked at the table, there was literally three feet of space. He shuddered and backed away towards Bayleef. 

"Or not. I can sit at the table and you can sit on those couches over there." Ash nodded and moved towards the green couches while the Professor makes his way to the table while he rummaged through his bag. He pulled out a notebook and flipped to a new page before pulling out a pen and sat down.

"We need to establish boundaries and ground rules. I need you to tell me exactly what you are and aren't comfortable with. I'm already putting down that you don't want to be closer than three feet of me."

* * *

  1. Don't get closer than ~~3ft~~. 5ft.
  2. Do not wake Ash up, let Pikachu wake him up.
  3. Don't ask him about his injuries, he will come to Kukui if he needed to.
  4. Don't ask about the legendary pokemon. Really.
  5. **Don't.**
  6. Do _not_ bring up the last region Ash went to.
  7. _**Ever.**_
  8. Don't sneak up behind Ash.
  9. Don't touch him.
  10. If you hear Ash scream from nightmares, leave him alone. 
  11. If Ash doesn't go to sleep, do not make him. He will go to sleep when is ready.
  12. Don't separate him from his pokemon.
  13. Don't comment about his appetite. Pikachu and Bayleef will sort him out.
  14. Ash will pay for the pokemon food.
  15. If Ash isn't around in the morning, he will be by shortly.
  16. If the legendary are being bothersome then let Ash know. He'll sort them out.



* * *

Kukui looked at the list, then looked at Ash. Scraggy was asleep in his arms, a Pikachu on his shoulder and another Pikachu on his lap, his Bayleef was resting her head on his lap. He was pretty sure he asked for Ash to bring no more than three pokemon.

He was drooping back onto the couch, Kukui resisted the urge to tell him to go to sleep. Instead he opted for starting on making dinner.

Kukui turned back to call out that dinner was ready but Ash was nowhere in sight. He glanced up at the loft where... Mew... was floating. Oh. That explains the two Pikachu. 

Kukui followed the Mew outside where Ash stood with a z ring he had just pulled out of his pocket. Tapu Koko floated down and Kukui gasped.

Ash whirled around, one arm curled protectively over Scraggy, the other raised to throw a punch. Pikachu was sparking and Bayleef had her vines extended. Kukui backs up into the doorway with his arms raised, palms up. The Guardian Deity of Mele Mele floats so that it stands before Ash with its arm outstretched to shield him. 

"Sorry. I'll stay over here." Kukui says softly, heart in his throat at the thought of being struck down by the Deity as an old friend of his had once been.

The moment of utter stillness passes and the Guardian turns back to Ash. Ash once more holds up the z ring, Tapu Koko places on his wrist and coos softly. It bows to Mew who floated over

Then the Guardian leaves.

And Ash stands in the sand, ocean ebbing and flowing behind him. A cloud blocks the moon and for just a second.

Kukui sees how lost and alone this kid is.

Standing on the barren beach with only his pokemon.

"Dinner is served when you're ready." He said at last. Turning to head inside, heart heavy as he thought about Lillie alone with only her butler during the open house.

He was going to help him.

He was going to help her.

He would help both of them.

* * *

Ash stood at the front of the class to introduce himself, a Pikachu on either shoulder and a Scraggy in his arms. Bayleef was separating him and Kukui as he shifted in place before sitting at the empty desk in the corner of the room. 

Lillie could see Mallow shift so that Lillie could see the Bayleef curled around his feet. Ash looked at her and waved before turning back to face the front.

Lunch time, Lillie made her way over to him. He was staring blankly at the wall, petting Scraggy. She cleared her throat, he jolted back to awareness with a wild look that calmed when he saw her. He glanced around and made sure all of his pokemon were moved closer to him before nodding his head at her.

"Did you want to come over to my home so we could go over our notes and make a plan?" Ash looked down, his pokemon all looked up at him.

"I need to take my pokemon to the pokemon center. I think you should come with me." Lillie blinked at him, then glanced at her own hands before she decided that it wouldn't be a problem.

"Okay. I've never been to the pokemon center, but i've read plenty about it." Ash shoots her a small grin.

"It's a bit chaotic sometimes but it's pretty peaceful, I think... I think we might be able to help you if we start there." Lillie wonders what he means by that. 

"Lillie!" Lillie glanced back to see that Mallow and Lana had already finished setting up the table for them to eat and glanced towards Ash who moved so that he could now feed his pokemon. She bit back her instinctive response to invite Ash over. He wouldn't accept it. Not now.

Maybe one day.

As they enter the pokemon center, Ash directs her to some couches where she takes a seat. He takes his pokemon to the nurse Joy and they all vanish with her aside from one Pikachu. He speaks with her some more before making his way towards Lillie and sits down beside her.

His feet are jiggling with restless and nervous energy. Lillie looks away, she twiddles her fingers around.

"I have a pokemon egg... everyone entrusted it to me." Ash pauses and looks to her before wrapping his arms around Pikachu.

"You can't touch it either... can you?" She shakes her head and he nudges her side with his elbow.

"Taking care of an egg is hard. I have no doubt that you're doing the best that you can. I'm sure you'll be able to hold the baby that hatches from it." She feels stunned at the declaration. 

"Parenthood changes things." He grins, like sharing a secret.

"Mr. Ketchum?" Ash looks away from her and gathers his pokemon before releasing them all to create a wall not too far off from the front desk. He keeps hold of Scraggy as he makes his way towards her and extends his hand.

She shakily reaches out to grab it. Unaware of what he had planned but trusting him all the same. He only seemed to have her best interests at heart.

Ash takes her by the hand, his pokemon for once not on him or within a foot of him, aside from Scraggy. He leads her to an area his pokemon are blocking off and a Comfey smiles cheerfully at them.

Ash patiently waits for her to talk herself into stepping out from behind him.

"I'm not scared. Comfey aren't dangerous. They soothe pokemon." She mutters to herself.

The Comfey equally patient, the nurse Joy behind the counter watching anxious, but supportive and wishing them the best of luck.

Lillie nods and slids forward and inch at a time until she stands beside Ash who keeps hold of her hand and smiles patiently.

Lillie is able to accept the wreath, only flinching three times, and jumping once.

She's covered in goosebumps and shaking from head to toe but is visibly relaxing in seconds after she has the wreath around her neck and she's so grateful.

Because no one, not even she, has thought of this. She was close to a Pokemon, like mere inches!

Ash takes in her home with astonishment. Sticking as close to her as he can without setting her off. He is stiff near Hobbes but does not back away, instead offering her a shaky thumbs up.

They sit down in her room for some tea where he spots the egg resting on a pillow. He looks at her and asks permission before rubbing the top of the egg.

He and his pokemon rub the egg and offer soft words of encouragement before he takes a seat and joins her at the table. One of the Pikachu stretches and suddenly a Mew is in her room. She jumps in surprise, spilling her tea but psychic floats the tea back into her cup and she breathes out slowly. The flower wreathe around her neck keeping her calm.

"So it's just you?" Ash asked, Mew sprawled across his shoulders as he gave Scraggy a few gentle chin scratches. Lillie looked away from the teapot she was setting down to see Pikachu delicately lapping up his tea.

"My father went missing many years ago, mother threw herself into her research to figure out what happened to him and is trying to recreate the events that ended with his disappearance." Lillie paused as she took a sip of her tea, Ash nodded and waited for her to continue.

"I have a brother, his name is Gladion and he's two years older than I am, but he hasn't been home in a long time... he ran away when I was young. So it's just been Hobbes and I." Lillie had never had to explain her story to anyone.

Everyone in Alola knew it.

But explaining her story to Ash.

It felt different. He wasn't judging her, he was patient and kind as he waited and watched.

It was almost freeing in a way.

"What about you?" Ash asked looking at the egg, Lillie set her cup down when her hands began shaking and clasped her hands together.

"I... I'm not afraid of pokémon." She declared strongly, Ash smiled at her, eyes shining brightly as if to say they believed her.

"I'm not afraid but something. There was something that happened to me... I _know_ it." Ash nods, reaching out to grab her hand. She laughs when she sees that his hand's shaking as well.

"You're so brave Lillie." He whispers to her, as if telling her a secret. It warms her heart, and it fills her with courage. She looks at the Egg she has been charged with caring for and vows to raise the baby Pokemon with everything that she has.

"You're strong. You're going to be an amazing trainer." Ash's smile seemed to promise her as he went back to his tea as if their conversation had never happened.

~~_Later on, Lillie would think back to this moment and use it to fuel her to get past her fears. But for now, this moment was warm on a bright sunny afternoon._ ~~

* * *

Ash looks around at the new pokemon and excitedly asks question after question to Lillie who answers back just as quickly. There's a quiver in her voice, and she jumps and latches on to Mallow more than once but visibly steels herself each time she detaches from the other girl.

"So I just catch one pokemon and that's a passing grade?" Ash mutters to himself. Ash looks at the Toucanon, trumbeak, and Pikpek, and pauses when he sees an owl pokemon with the flock.

"Oh, hey! It's you!" Ash calls out and waves, the pokemon tilts its head, cooing to the toucanon before flying down and landing on his outstretched arm. There's some whispers behind him but he ignores it in favor of petting the cute owl. It preens.

"I haven't seen you since the day I first came to alola and you took that wind chime." It started and then bashfully shuffled in place. Ash laughed.

"It's an easy mistake." He cheered, Scraggy climbed onto his shoulder and leered at the pokemon before head butting it. The owl fell off, swinging on his arm and staring up at him as it hung on. Ash snickered as he righted the pokemon.

"That's Rowlet. Grass and flying type." Ash looked away from the soft tawny feathers he was combing and saw Kukui-hakase holding out a red and moving thing.

"I am rotomdex, and I will be helping you learn all the pokemon of the Alola region." Ash looked at the pokedex pokemon case and glanced towards his pokemon. Every single one of them had their heads tilted in confusion, including Rowlet.

"Okay." Ash agreed, it was probably the easiest thing to do. It would kinda be... like picking up old routines. Meet new pokemon, scan new pokemon, research and battle new pokemon. 

~~Meet new people and make new friends.~~

W̶̬̬͖͍̘̹͈̋̊̅̐ḩ̴̝̞̭̺͔̮̲͊̔á̶̢̢̯̙̳͉̥̰̪t̷̢̧̰̠͚̰͎̭͕̟̻͎͍̳͌̈́͂̊̒̂̉͒̔̔͌͜͝͝ ̴̡̛͎̖̲̼̞͇̣͚̖̋̊̇̋̈́̇̅͌̇̄̽̄̚͘ͅͅi̴̛̭͂̑͊̃͋͑̑̊͐͐̈́͘͠f̴͇̠͓̰͋͐̆ ̷̧̝̼̥͇̭̖͎͉͒̌̏̍̓͑t̷͇̟̦̫̽̎̇̓͆̂͒͂͋̌̕h̵͚̥̻͎̮̹̽͒ͅe̵̡͇̘͉̓̆͌̓̓̿̅̌̑ỳ̸̧̖̟̭̫̜̠̲̰̦̮̩͍̋͛̉̌̕͜͠ ̶̫̯̻̱̿̓͐̈̓̒̽̄̈́̃͑b̴̟͑̈̍́͝͝͠ȩ̶̡̙̞̰̞̼̥̮̼̑͒͒̊͂̑̌̑̈́t̷̨̛̬̫̭̗͔͔̗̘͎͚̺̂͐͗́̔̎̈́̃͘͘͘͝͠r̵̤̣̟̘̓͒͂̑̄̐́a̵̘̅̓͆̈́̐̏̓͘͜y̴̫͍̝̩͕̘̔̆̾̓̋͆͐̑͊̃͘͘̕͝ ̶̛̝͔̱̞̥̲̯̜͉͇̭̹̪̌̐̊̄̑̄̃̐͝ḩ̷̪͎̼̯͓͙̪̭́̐̑͆͒͌i̵̦̟̹͎͉̱̜̙͇͗͒̀̒͘m̵̢̹̜̯̘̻̙̳͙̱̜͖̣͐̔̉̓͐̓̈́͊̏̎͜ ̷̧͚̬̙̳̪̦̦̻͇̳̣͓͉̄̇͛̂̓͠ͅt̸̼͈͗̈́̌̿̌͌͆͑̎̿̋̕͝h̸̠̭̲̗͉͒̈́͊̓͑͌̈́̈̿͠e̸̗̙̦̝̋̔̄͛̍̆̂̇͠͝ ̵͉͚̿̏̑̄̾̊̀̀̆̀̒͘̕͠w̶̯̓̉̂̔̐͌̒͂̇͂̅̾͘͠a̶̲̗̫͚̎͒̐̋̉̂͑̆̊̕ͅy̶̨̢̱̹͚̲̠̠̜͗̆̂ ̵̡̧̛̛̛͙͉͚̠̠̩̖͖͒͐́̿͂̐͗̈́̈͜ẗ̵̛̫̳́͛̽̾̓͆̽̽̍͒͑̈͘͠h̵͉̮̗̬͉̞͖̗̤͕̍̌̆̍̆̈a̸̡̲̬͈͔̱̯̳͚̰̭̪̐͂̈̂́̆̾̉͊̏̓̔͘͝ţ̸̛̠͓͖̬̯͈͖͖̪͙͚̺̲͂͌͒̊̏͊͒̔̍̃̚͝ ̵̨̢̨̛̗͔͇̤̲̻̰͙͔̰̮̗̌̄̌̈́A̶̛͙̪̐͌̀̎̿̂͊͒̐̾̇͘l̸̨̛̹̟̯̗̞̱̠̼̄a̸̛̤̣̲̖̜͎̹̭̗̿̄͗̃͋́̉̃̆̎̑̽̚i̶̡̢̘̜̞̞̦̮̟̦̽ͅn̶̨̢̘͚̘͔̈́̄̋̿̓͒̇͂͘͠ ̶̞͚̬̭̠̭̗̮̱̣̥͋̍h̵̡͚̥̦̣̳̞̰̬̱̳͕͙̩̾̄̈͋̂̆̈́̒̽̐a̶̧̖̔̐̊͛͐̇d̵̢̛̻̺̗̆̇͐͊̈́̾͊͛͐́̂̀̕͝?̶̬̘̙͚̮̳͉͕̄̿͑͛̂͋̈́͛̀̚

"Prepare for trouble!" Ash whirled around, the tension in his shoulders dropping at the familiar voice.

"And make it double!" Behind him the students all groaned.

"Get behind me kids! You too Ash!" The teacher called. Ash stilled as Rowlet fluffed up and fluttered upwards, landing on his hat as if trying to intimidate. Ash just grinned as he looked at the familiar faces of old frenemies.

"Wait, do my eyes deceive me Jessie, or is that the twerp?" Ash waved, Jessie scowled as she looked at him.

"Twerp?! You actually left Kanto?" Ash twitched at the remark, Pikachu looked exasperated. 

"I have left Kanto before, sure it wasn't for long but I still left. _Iwasn'tacompletehermit_." He muttered the last part under his breath as Rowlet cooed in confusion from his perch on Ash's head.

The small owl was no longer fluffed up to appear intimidating. 

**There was a feeling of annoyance that was centered in his chest. As well as fondness. Then a nudge to pay attention as Ash found his body shifting to a guarding stance.**

"You know these creepy thieves?!" Demanded Kiawe, the teen marching up to him with aggression. Ash glared back up at Kiawe, widening his stance at the aggressive teen. The teen seemed taken aback by his expression and backed away, he wonders what expression he made.

Pikachu waves a paw dismissively at the trio, calling to him, Ash relaxes his stance at his partner's call.

"They really messed you up didn't they?" Jessie looked sympathetic even as she sneered at him, Bayleef wrapped a vine around his waist with a scowl. Scraggy used scary face and Ash giggled involuntarily.

No matter how many times Scraggy used the look, he was too adorable to be scary.

"Pikachu-" Ash was laughing as he called out to his partner, Pikachu sighed and turned to him with a smile. "Spark!" Ash snickered pressing Scraggy closer to his face, the Scary face evolving to a leer.

Pikachu looked at the trio who had the most offended look ever seen and sent a single spark at them. They were instantly paralyzed, Ash wheezed and choked on his laughter behind his partner.

Then a Bewear popped up out of nowhere and swept the trio off their feet.

Ash was on his knees laughing loudly.

"They didn't!" Pikachu watched him fondly, glad that he could find humor in this.

The kids watched him warily, the Professor was careful to approach with Pikachu's permission. Asking after Ash's health in concern, Ash waved him off as he continued laughing into his knees.

Ash stopped laughing when Rowlet perched on his knee and nudged him. Pikachu laughed at him, falling over. Pikachu Mew rolled off his shoulder and floated over to gaze at Rowlet while being upside down.

"You heard our conversation?" Rowlet nodded. "And you want to come with us?" Rowlet nodded again, Ash glanced up at the bird's family. They watched him, Toucanon nodded to him. Ash glanced between the two bird pokemon and then pulled a pokeball out of his pocket. Rowlet pressed their beak to the button and then a pokeball rolled on his palm before lighting up to signal a capture.

"Do I pass?" Ash asked as he tilted his head back to glance at the pokemon Professor. The man looked stunned, and the rotomdex was suddenly in his face.

"That is not standard capture procedure! Bzzt." Ash stared at the sentient pokedex. It was... upset?

"Mew?" Ash glanced up when Mew dropped down onto his head to look him in the eyes.

"Scanning. Scanning..." Ash jumped to his feet and snatched the sentient pokédex out of the air as it began screaming about Mew.

"Mrow?" Ash watched the black and red feline pass by Pikachu. It too glanced at him before dismissing him.

He recognized that one too.

He should apologize for stepping on their tail. 

Maybe tomorrow. Lillie wanted to see how long it took her to get close to Comfey.


	5. Oh I Could Use A Little Saving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: Maybe- Lily Kershaw

Ash kicked a rock as he walked alone to school. Kukui-hakase had left earlier than him for a faculty meeting. He'd left some sandwiches for breakfast and lunch. 

"Mrow." Ash stopped, he looked around and then the same feline as before popped out and stood on a small fence.

"That is Litten. A fire type cat pokemon, While grooming itself, it builds up fur inside its stomach. It sets the fur alight and spews fiery attacks, which change based on how it coughs." Ash took his back pack off his shoulders and dug out the breakfast sandwiches.

"I didn't really get to apologize to you last time i was in Alola. Take this as my apology." The feline looked at him with distrust. It was like looking in a mirror. He closed his eyes and set the sandwiches alongside the feline and offered a close lipped smile. He placed his backpack back on and resumed his walk to school.

Pikachu Mew, Pika!Mew? Turned into a Litten and walked along side him. 

"I hope we meet again." 

Lillie was waiting for him at the school entrance. She waved at him, he waved back and scooped Litten into his arms. Litten scrambled under his shirt and popped out of his collar as a Pikachu. 

"Did you want to come over today?" Ash nodded, holding Scraggy closer as he breathed out through his nose.

One day he would work with Lillie. And the next she would work with him. Pikachu seemed to like her, and she felt calm.

It was almost soothing to be near her.

His need to help her aside, this was what also drew him to her. 

"I brought lunch today." Ash informs her, she looks at him with a pleased smile. She had worried the other day about him not bring lunch, he had brought lunch the other day. He just hadn't wanted to eat it.

Today he would make an effort to eat it. Pikachu was already shooting him worried looks.

He didn't want to keep worrying Pikachu. 

Somehow, that seemed to be all he was capable of doing these days.

* * *

Sophocles made room at his desk for Kiawe when it was time to break up into groups to work on the math assignment. 

"He's always by himself if he's not with Lillie." Kiawe remarked, Sophocles looked up from the math work he was tutoring Kiawe for.

The foreign exchange student, Ash, was sitting by himself with two Pikachu, a Scraggy that was nestled against his chest and a Bayleef curled around his feet. He was surrounded by Pokemon, just like when they first met him.

But he had an air of loneliness about him.

He was a strange one though. Sophocles had never seen a pokemon catch itself to be with a trainer.

Professor Kukui didn't assign him a partner. Nor had he said anything to him about working with a partner. Was it because he was Professor Oak's assistant? Working for _the_ pokemon Professor must require a higher skill set.

 _Especially_ since he was so young. 

Maybe he was just fine on his own. Someone of his position had to be pretty smart.

Right?

And there was also the fact that he knew those pokemon thieves. He had to be a good person though, he worked with Professor Oak.

* * *

Ash looked away from the board to glance at his backpack where his newest companion was sleeping.

Rowlet definitely made a great addition to the team, he was really lucky.

"Hmph, annnnnd i'm lost." Ash muttered to himself as he went over the math problem to see where he went wrong. He froze as someone leaned over his shoulder, Pikachu was instantly on his shoulder batting the person aside and Pika!Mew was rolling across his desk letting out sparks.

Ash forcefully shook his shoulders and relaxed, he looked over his shoulder to see Kukui-hakase had backed up several steps with his hands up. Bayleef had a vine in his face.

Ash unclenched his hands from their death grip on the desk and reached out and pet the vine until it retracted.

This was the second time he snuck up on Ash, he really needed to stop getting lost in his thoughts. He knows it was not on purpose.

But his pokemon saw him afraid and they moved to defend him.

Even if it was from a friend.

* * *

"Bayleef, we talked about this." Ash sounded tired, he looked at Kukui with suspicion, always with suspicion.

Always afraid and wary.

Whatever happened to him was enough to not only change who this boy was but it damaged his sense of trust. No wonder Professor Oak had such a look of grief on his face. Just those few second glimpses of seeing what a bright and carefree boy Ash was when he was with pokemon or learning something new, was enough to give him whiplash.

Or at the very least, question if he had actually seen what he had.

Kukui didn't know how to help and he was trying.

Koko grant him strength, he was trying. 

"Did you need help?" Ash glanced down at his paper, hands curling as he clenched his jaw and nodded. Kukui could see his students watching them, making Ash even more nervous and opted to tutor him further at home.

"I'll help you at home, but for now I'll get you an example." Kukui took the long way around and made sure to point his students back at their workbooks. He wrote down a step by step problem, making sure to go into detail and passed it to the vine extended.

Ash and Pikachu looked over the paper with looks of vague frustration. The Kantonese trainer had suffered from some type of trauma.

Same as Lillie.

But his trauma was geared towards humans. How strange.

Here in Alola it was rare to hear about any kind of violence, even Team Skull was not that bad.

The only ones who ever really caused actual crime, were those two humans, and their Kantonese meowth.

He wonders what happened in Kalos. Thousands upon thousands of people and pokemon had all been hurt. Been displaced of their homes. Had _died._

All of them suffered from one type of trauma or another.

But he doesn't think anyone had been affected this badly.

His searches had not come up with anything that could have possibly lead to such a trauma. And asking was out of the question.

Which left Kukui in the dark.

Same as with Lillie.

The same frustrations and no way to bridge that gap.

Helping these two without knowing all the facts would make progress slow, but it seems that the two had taken to each other. They had both made progress.

Lillie could be closer to pokemon than before.

Ash had actually pulled his pokemon back from defending him within literal seconds.

They were good for each other.

* * *

Ash was walking to Kukui-hakase house from the market that Hobbes dropped him off at when he saw Litten again.

The feline was limping.

"Hello again." The feline paused and looked at him, eyed his bag of berries and sat down. Ash crouched and rolled an oran berry towards it. The feline accepted the berry and disappeared down the road. Pika!Mew took off after the feline and Ash stared after them.

"Should we follow?" Bayleef nodded, Pikachu looked at him as if to say it was up to him. He sighed.

"Let's get this over with." He mumbled and followed the trail.

**This was a kindred spirit. Trying to grow stronger, but unable to reach their full potential. There was a hum in his mind, a whisper of encouragement.**

"Stout." Ash blinked in confusion. Mew had their paws pressed into a canine pokemon's fur.

"You're a Stoutland." Ash said at last, lowering his bag to the floor as he sat down and crossed his legs under him. Litten hissed at him, a soft bark of admonishment from Stoutland calmed them. Mew open their eyes and looked at him with a small shake of their head.

Oh.

Stoutland was dying.

Ash looked to the Litten before him, it was shaking its head in denial. Stoutland calmly spoke to the small feline, and then the feline ran off. Ash didn't move, instead he looked to the Stoutland. It gazed at him with wisdom and age old strength in its eyes.

"Stoutstoutlandlandstou." Ash looked to Mew.

"Mew!" It chimed with a nod, Ash looked over his pokemon. They were all looking at him in turn. Watching.

Waiting.

"What about you?" Stoutland smiled at him, he chuffed and rested his head on his paws.

Ash looked at his hands, riddled with scars and burns.

Were these hands capable of helping a pokemon grow into their own strength. Could he nurture this fire?

"Litten is going to want to stay with you." Stoutland nodded, but his eyes told Ash, that he would not be around for much longer. He'd been clinging on stubbornly until Litten could find a worthy teacher.

Somehow Stoutland thought that, that would be Ash.

"You deserve a home too." Ash protested, the wizened canine peered at him with one eye

"I know... I know I'm not a good judge of character right now..." Ash looks down, his hands bunching up the material of his shirt. "But Lillie is, she's mostly alone with no one to trust or rely on except her butler. And she trusts Kukui... he took me in, cause he wanted to help. Sure... it was mainly to help Lillie... but she trusts him. So he must be a good person right?" Ash queries, Stoutland rises up and hops off the couch. He makes his way over to Ash, snout pressed to his forehead.

> _He could see a Lillipup barking happily at a blurred figure._
> 
> _A Herdier stood alone, watching his trainer walk away._
> 
> _That Herdier fought battle after battle, evolving into a Stoutland._
> 
> _Stoutland nosed at a newborn Litten, the small fire type barely clinging to life._
> 
> _Stoutland curled around the baby. Feeding it. Nursing it. Cuddling it._
> 
> _Training it._
> 
> _Loving it._
> 
> _Raising it._
> 
> _Stoutland was old. And tired. But he could not yet walk the path of his next journey._
> 
> _Not until he found someone who could nurture the fire he had kindled._

"I think... whoever abandoned you, didn't realize how special you were. Please, let me give you a home, for the end of your journey." Stoutland laid down, head on Ash's lap.

"Thank you, for listening to my selfish wish." Ash whispers as he presses his forehead to Stoutland's.

Ash carried Stoutland, Rotom questioning him about anything and everything. Ash felt guilty when he didn't answer his questions.

"Pika!" Pikachu shouted, waving Rotom off with an agitated wave of his paw. Rotom stopped asking questions and settled for observering him.

"I just want to get Stoutland somewhere warm, and find Litten." Rotom had a picture of a thinking face.

"Okay. Bzzt." Ash was maybe ten minutes away from Kukui-hakase's house when Litten melted out of the shadows and walked along side him. The feline refused to acknowledge him, and settled for watching over Stoutland. Berating Ash when Stoutland slipped a little.

Stoutland smiled calmly.

Stoutland knew Litten's feelings, knew everything about this baby raised since hatchlinghood.

Ash felt his heart clench. Would Kukui-hakase be okay with Ash's spontaneous decision to bring in two wild pokemon?

Bayleef opened the door, a new pokemon was on the floor just past the doorway.

"That is Rockruff, the puppy pokemon. It is a rock type, This Pokémon has lived with people since times long ago. It can sense when its Trainer is in the dumps and will stick close by its Trainer’s side." Rotom recited, taking pictures of the small canine. It yipped at him, wagging its tail. 

Ash crouched down and held out the back of his hand, the puppy gave it a sniff before rubbing its head on Ash's palm.

Ash let out a laugh as the puppy basked in the attention. It was cute.

"Stoutland." Ash nods and lowers the wild canine to the ground. Rockruff barks excitedly and crouches down. Stoutland gruffly barks, then with a single sweep of his paw, Rockruff is tumbling onto its back with a confused bark.

"Welcome back Ash, I- is that a Stoutland and a Litten?" Ash stiffened, hands buried in Stoutland's fur as he peeked up at the Professor. He looked bewildered.

"Anyway, i wanted to introduce you to Rockruff. He comes over a couple times a week, he's a wild pokemon. I've been studying him in my free time. Play nice with him, dinner's in the oven." Kukui-hakase said and set down some paperwork and his laptop at the kitchen table.

Stoutland smacked his leg with his tail and Ash unclenched his hands from his fur.

He focused on simply breathing. There was no reason to panic. Or be afraid.

This was just his mind over reacting.

Nothing was wrong.

**A surge of warmth surrounded him. A hand on his chest urged him to continue to breathe, that he was safe and not alone. Never alone.**

* * *

Kukui listened to Ash wheeze as he shakily accepted a ball from Rockruff. He was breathing normally within a minute of his Bayleef using sweet scent.

Kukui was surprised Ash had felt comfortable enough to bring to wild pokemon home, but apparently he'd been afraid.

Rockruff was playing with Stoutland, while Litten had opted to sit beside Ash. Completely ignoring him.

Ash smiled hesitantly at the feline and placed a berry before it then began to feed Scraggy. His other pokemon were helping themselves to the berries as well.

Kukui continued working on his projects, he had to submit new research before the end of the month. He'd taken to writing about Rockruff, the stray wild canine had actually followed him home the day he had taken home the Kanto egg delivered by Professor Oak's assistant. He came around time and again, always seeming disappointed whenever he looked around. 

Kukui allowed the pokemon to come over whenever he wanted which lead to a weekly arrangement that he and the canine followed.

This was the first time he has seen the pokemon so lively and excited. Wait.

Rockruff was licking Ash's cheeks. And he just got headbutted by Scraggy.

Ash was laughing. He looked so carefee, as if he knew no trouble.

Ash was feeding the pokemon when he glanced up at Kukui with a look of determination. 

"Can Stoutland and Litten stay?" He asked, bracing himself and deflating when Kukui nodded without once glancing away from his paper. He relaxed and made his way behind the counter, half turned to face him as he took out the baked chicken and veggies Kukui had made earlier.

Ash sat down beside his pokemon to eat. Kukui felt relieved, in the three days Ash had been with him, he's only seen him eat twice.

Kukui stretched and set aside his work and pulled up the worksheets he had made earlier to work with Ash.

"Ash." Kukui paused, then smiled. Ash was asleep, curled up on Stoutland. Litten, Rockruff and Scraggy were all asleep on top of him. Pikachu and Bayleef were asleep on either side of him and Mew was nestled between Stoutland's paws and head.

"I guess I could tutor you tomorrow." Kukui mutters to himself as he gathers his work and shuts off the lights before going to bed himself.

* * *

Pikachu watched Ash make scrambled eggs and toast. Everyone was eating behind him, the Rockruff puppy choosing to spend the day with Stoutland and Litten before returning home later.

He hates to say it, but maybe coming to Alola was good for Ash. He's eating more. And sleeping more. And overall acting like he used to.

Sure he had moments where he was still afraid. But that was more because he had yet to regain faith in himself. Given some more time, he can see Ash healing from that _place._

From A̵͔͍̼̞͓̼͇̖̤͇̖̩̘͒̂ͅl̸̡͈̜͂ã̷̧̨̗̭̬̥͎̜͉͈̘̟̈́̍̿͆̔ͅi̵̡͈̯̺̻̲̫̼̠̾͆̋͛̇̓́̎̕͜n̵̢͓̱̣̞̟̮̮̜͎͖͇͆̂̿̾͆̄̀̓̌̐̕.

From L̷̡̡̛̘̖̪̫̞̲͉̟͔̯͎͙̖̫̼̝̟̄͋̊̃̋̓̋̋̈́̿͗͐́̾̿̄̐̓̊̀̈́̋͑̀̇̓̀̕͘͘͝y̸̢͔̦͙͉̬̙̦̗̖͔̙̜̼̜͕͍͌͂ͅs̴̢̨͉̦̠̼̙̦̳̟̳͓̔̿͆̏͊͒̾͗̑̎͆̿̒̅̑͌̈͝͝ä̶̛͇̖̖͖͎̳̦̻̳̤́̔͆̿̄̃̇̈́̊̓̈̐̉͐̓̾̉͘͠͝͝͝͠n̴̨̨̧̧̻̤̩̩̝̗̞̠͉̯̯̹̖̫̗͎̟͎̪̬̟͆ḍ̶͉̥̺̟́͆̔̂̈́͗̅͗̔̋͗̑͒͂͗̕͠e̶̢̨̨̹̳̖͖̻͔̪͙͔̗̘̞̥͙͙̣̺̝̞̺̥̩̯̰̞̞͓̜͍̻͐͂ͅŗ̶̡̦͇̤̳̜̗̼̲̙̖̯̦̲̖̮̃̈͒͂̒̈́̅͐̓͋̈̋̀̆̓̔̎͗̔͘͘̕̕̕͜͝ 

F̴̭͇͕̫͕̉̄̓̑̆̈́́̄̔̇͋͗̌̏̍̆̒͌̚̕͘͝r̶̛̛̞̮͙͇̖̓̈͒̄̑̃͐͂͆̌͌͆̌̈́͛̋̓͒͗͒̅̽͘̚͝ơ̵̡̧͚̞̝̗̗̗̏̀̎͑̽̅̋͂͑͂́̊͆̄̑͛̓̅͋͋͋̀͋̇̽͊̇͒̏̊̽̂̒͑̚̚͠͠m̷̡̘͎͖̠͍̩͈͕̬̮̠̖̖͙̩̟̆̑̋̋̓͑͛͒̇̓̈͠ ̷̢̢̧̛̜̮͉̖͔̠͍̫̩͍̱̲̭͖̹̥̺͎̮̬̳͇̘̣̞̤̓̈̊͐̐̈́̈͆̍̃̑̽̄͛̎̉̊̚̚̚͜͝b̵̧̢̛̬̙̥̦̤̖̣̻̩̘̫̰͍̦͖̤̫̼̪̱̹̗͙̠̟̬̦̟͇̈́̅͒̈͆͌̊͠ͅͅȩ̷̢̡̨̢̢̛̬͕̝̪͖̫͖̦͙͈̞̱̳͔̤̼̺͉̮͙̗̤̻̘̤̜̱̫̱̙̲̣̏́̉̒̇͑̈́̾͌̒́̒̓͊̐̐̓͌͛̾̉͘͘͜͝ͅį̶̢̡̢̨̤̻̩͙̺̙̳͎̝̭̮̝̣͔̩̱̰̘̹̖̘̓̈́͆̈́̍̿̄̈́͂͒͒́͊̇̂̚̚ň̴̹͈̹̭̤͔̩̩̲̳̩̗͋̉̂̇͗̐̈́̈́̎͋͗͒̂̆̉̈́̃̔̾͋̏̐̕͘͝͠ģ̶̲͎͚͈͕̬̫̞̙̹̬̝̫̘̣̞̖̮̹̺͔̞̣͎̞̖̱̜̻̹͓͖͍̞̭̿̐̔̃̀̉̏̒̈͋̑͋̈͋̏͝͝ͅͅ ̸̡̡̨̨̛̛͓͎̜̮̻̼̙̥̩̼̭̭̯̱̫̱̫̖̣̯̲̜͉̙̙̰̞͓̬̝̝̲̗̟̓̂̾͒͆̂́̎̃͌̈́̋͋̋̃̔̆͑̃͊̕͘͘͝ͅͅͅf̶̛̻͓̦͍̤͙͉̔̾̃͂́̔̍̇͒͛̇͗͋͐͋̾̈́̈͂̆͌̅̉̑͛̔͌̐͐̔̐̓̄̚͜͝ơ̸̢̨̡̢̺̰͖̞̰̖̻̗͈͙̻̭͉͔͚̬͈̝̠͈̱̣̦͎̫̗̣̘̱̘̹͒̾̈̄̔̈̉̒̈̐̈́̐̅̎́̓͆̀͗̄͆̑̀̓̈́̍̾̓̎́̇̆̄̿̊͠͝ŗ̸̧̡̧̨̧̘̼͖̩̪̜̪̱̥̹̺̠͓̭͔͔̫͇̦͖̣͖͎̞͍̮̬̹͇̒͋̒̿̇͆̓̆̏̚̕͜͜ͅc̵̡̢̨̧̳̮̯̻̺̻̙̥̜̖̞̦̠̘̲͉̺̜̳̲̜͇̘̹̗̦͚̣̋͋̔̈̿̉̀̎͌̌̚͘͜͜͝͝ͅe̶̡̨̡̦̩̭̮̩͕̗͍̙̱̳͇̘͎͈͉͍̘͕̥̣͎͎͖̞̼͉̬̓̽̋̈́̈́̓͘̕͜͜͝ͅḑ̶̛̤̫͚̦̠͇͈̟̜̠̹̟̫̼̺̣̪͕̒͌̀̒͗̇̊͆̐̀͌̑̎́̍̒͗͊̌͛̈̌̑͒̄͑̾̽̕̕̕͜͝͠ ̵͈͌͌͛͐̕į̸̢̫̤͓̳̰͉̖͎̣̠̙̘̰͎̥͍̘̦̱̣̩̞̣̺̘̎̄̋̔̓͜n̸͇͎͕͚̩̭̱̙̝̖͕̮̞͆̆͊̓̓͊͂͋̄̊͋̆̇̇̽̋̓͐̈̄̚̚̚̕͝͠͠͠ţ̷̢̡̡̹͇͎̺͕̹̬̲̙̯͔͈̦̩̹̭̰͔̹̳͉̊͛͊̒͂̈́̄̊͒͑̐͆̓̈̿͌͒͘̚͜ͅͅǫ̶̩̳͖̞͚̞̜̏̋̅̄́́͊͆͂͘ ̷̛̱͑̂̿̈͂̇̿̒̅̏̎̂̊̄̋̌̽̊͌̔̋̎͝͠͝s̸̡̢̢̟̞̮̯̻̭̝͍̬̖̭̞͓͎̠̯̹̩͍̲̀͗̑͂̑͗͂̈́͑̑̿̐̾̌̏̓͘͜͠͠ų̷̢̨̛̛͖̣͉̬̩̣͚̺̗͉̮̩̩͈̩̩̫̗̜̖̲̩̰̽͐̈́̎̀́͒̎̊͊̎̔͊̈́̾̓̎̊̋͛͂̆͠͝͠ͅb̷̧̧̨̢̪̙͍͎̝̦͚̰̖͉̦̟̙͔̪̬͓̖͓̥̼̻͇̮͖̮̜͍͉̣̼͆̈́̽͗̈͗͘͜͜ͅm̴̗͚̥̦̙̘͑̂̓̿̇̿̓̈́̅͊̋̿̋̓͐́̊͗͂̃̏̒̚͝i̶̛̤̯̥̣͇͖̘̮̼̟̭̯̰̿̓̇͑̌̀̇̊̏̅͛͐s̵̡̨̧͕̘͓̩̜͈͈̜̳͈͈̻̪͉̲͇̟̫͇̅͗̅s̵̛͉̰͙̝͓̠͎͔̲͈̹̲͓̼̱͍͉̱̭̝̩̦͍̱̿̈̆̈́͂̾̾̊̎̈́̑̉̎͒͑͛͑́̀͑͂ǐ̸͈͕̫̟͙̯̬̗̼̖͓͆͒͗̆̀̈́̆̊̌̎̔̃̎͋͆͛̒̈́̎̉̐̆ơ̶̧̧̨̢̡̬̩̦̣̬͎͎̱͓͓̬͍̙͚͍̼̺̹͕͓͒̇̈́̋̓̓͑̀͋̀̽̉̐̕̚͜͝n̶̨̢̡̫̬̮͔̘̦̜͔̣̞̎̐̆̽̌́͂̀̊̊̃̊̋̋͊̔̾̆̊͐͂͗͗̒͑͆̔͆̎̉̏̕̕̕͠ͅͅ ̴̣̊̄̈̒̇̉̔̂͗́̈́̐̑͗̽̑̔̃̈́͘̕͝ậ̵̡̢̡̡̘̫̞͉̝̳̰̭̲̙̰̭̙͚̹͈̳̘̂́̈́͋̚͜ͅn̵̨̡̨͎̠͙̹̬̜̥̪̜͕̠͔̭͍͉̮͔͚̠̯̥̤̩̠̬̹͍̮̎͆̾̄͆̕͜͜ͅḑ̶̡̧̨̱̮̹̭̭̼̞̜͖͖̱̲̱͙͚͉͙̮̯̣͉͎̏̍̄̇́̒̚͜͝ ̵̨̧̡̫̫͉̥̯̗̺̩̱͔̹͖͇̩͎͚͛͌̂̑̎̈́̾̐͌͒̾̒̒̎͐̀̿͒̆̃̍͒͋͛̆̕̚̕͠͝͝͠͝͝ą̵̧̢̧̧̡͕̳̩͎̥̱͉͚͇͙̱͚͙̜̥̗̫̜͖̫͓̖̯̤̪͕̺̣̼̪̘̮̖̬̈̆͂̈́̾̒̀͝l̶̡̢̛̯̣̪͈͔̩͕̺̺̞̼͕̙̺̱̪̺̱͐͒͜͜͜͠m̸̧̛͚̖̲̼͎̞̣͖̳̔̓͛̎̆̂̒̑͑́͐̋͐ơ̸̡̧̧̡̮̻̯͖̜̻̺̭̯͖͓͖̠̱̠͍̮̱͙͚̬̥̼̻̣̩̟̹̽͒̍̎͆͐̾̆͂́͋̄̏͂̓̈́̕͠͝s̷̨̡̨̪̺̣͓̫̝͖͖̗̖̬̗͚̲̫̥̼̲͓̱̦̬͓͚̖̤̟̜͛̈́͐͜ť̸̨̡̨̨̢̙̺̼̲̜̻̬̦̳̝̬̦̹̬͙͓͚̗̺͔̠̣͑͛͐͛̐͊͆͌͌̈́͐̈́̏͆̋͌̋̊̇̾̐̅͆̂̕̕͘̚̕ͅ ̸̹̥̩̙̟̜̌̇̿̾͒͊ͅb̷͕̙̰̞͎̪̲͉̰̰͔̃̈́̅̏̋̂̇̌͐̃̋̏̏͗̀̕̕̕͘͜͝͠ͅͅe̴̢̧̡̨̢̼͇̹̟̲͈̝̘̰̮̣͍̝̟͖̻̪̻͕͖̣͓͙͆̿͛̅̓͒̓̿͌̀̇͒̓͛̓̊̿̈́̂̒̃̓̓͑̂̽͋̓̎͌͘̚̕͝i̵̡͚̝͕̲̯͉̾̔̂̌͛͒̐̀̇͆̃͆̔̂͗̎̈́͐͝͝n̸̨̛̥̝͈͍͖̞͎͈̝͍̬̩͚̯̘̺̩͇̫̙̾͋͑̓͗̿̓͌̌͛̇͂̚̕͜͜ͅg̶̡̢̨̢̡̛̛̛̙̰̫̬̭̣̜͓͖͖̖̦̜͚̼̭͕̻̠̖̮͕̺͕̲̰̪̜̱̩͕̈͋͐̔̈̉̈̉̄̑̇̿̑̾̈́͛̽̒̆͛͑̍̈́̈̓́͒͛̑̕̚̕͝͠͝ ̶̡̨̧̛̯͍̻̝͍͔̫̝̗̭͈̗̱̮̥̙̥̺̯̜̰͎̞͇͖̬̱͓̣̹͓̖̤̘̓͋͊͒̔͆̃̎̓͌̂̈̓͑̉̅̋́͛͋̑̄̒͊̚̕̕͠͝m̵̨̭̝̦̱̭̱̞̑̆́̆̃͐̊̈́̂̐́̑̔̊̍̂͐̄̑̐͌̒͒̓̐͊̓͒͋̽̒̃̆͘͝͠͝ą̴̡̰̹̜͚̩̜̠͎̬͓̳̹͙̳̪͎̜̲̫̹̞̟͉̰̻̅͜͜d̸̛͔̩͂̈́̅́͐̃͆̈́̌͑̃͊̓̽̈́̍̉̍̐͌͑̽͛͊̿̔̊́͗̈̑̃͘̕͝͠͠͠͝e̴̢̡̡̥̬̦͙̟̼͖̘̗̒͐̂͜͜ ̶̡̢̪̹̳͕͕̣͓̰̥̱̥͇͚̙̰̺̜͚̙̣͇̫͓̜̭̰̰̣̱̰̓͆͋̓̔̈́̆̔͒̇͊̍̈́̋͆̀̾͑̈́̌̂̒ͅţ̶̨̧̛͈̲͉̬͉̟̩̳̗̳̳̝̥̥̗͓̙̹̲̺̲̱̟̹͖͇̻̅̃͊̈̉͑͛̐̀̆̑̎̐̊̆̈́̽̓͗̋̉ͅͅǫ̸̨̡͉̝͈͎̱̣̜̻͈͇̣̫̹̫̹̙̣̼̥͉̦̬̬̮̀̋̎̔͋̒̄͂̈͒͗̎͛̌̈́͑̑̓̉͋̍͌̀͐̈́͋͆͒̊̌͋̕̕̕͝͝͝͝ͅ ̴̨̨̢̨͈̞͚̝̯̬̯͓̠͓̪̙͕͇̟̂̋͛̎̌͑̐̈͗̈́̋̋̀̈́̏̓͆̾̒̐͌̽̈́̎̊̑̾̈́͊̏̾̈́͗̅̕͘͝d̶̢̛͔̯̞͍̗̤̹̰̳̱̜̠͓̖̦̞̬̯͖̟͎̖̗̦̩̫͕͚̺̠̲͒̽̑̽̔̈́͗́͆͒̈́̉̽̉̓͂̆͂̾̇͊̎̒̔̈́̅͘̕͜͠͠ͅơ̷̢̢̢̨͍̱̟͇̠̲͍̼̬̟̤̩͎͖̤̯͔̦̙̂̄̈́̔̌̋̆̃̔͑̇͊͒̈̑̔̕̚ ̸̨͎͍͎̬͚̠̦̦̱͉̱̗͕̾̈́̀̍͛̌̽̈͠͠t̴̡̨̛̘͇̯͉͈̥̭͔̬͙̳̼̫̖̣̩͍̯̤̱̜̼̱̠͈͎͙̲͖͎͓̬̹̹̞̳̠̽̔̊̎̈́̂̈́͆͌͌̈́͌͐̇͐͝͝ͅͅh̶̜̹̹̪̼͔͇̼̞͚̼͙̣̗͎̟̞̥̪̒̅͌ͅͅȩ̶̛̰̻̙̯͚͇͚̬̫̥͇͍̯͎̫͉̘̗̣̬͕̙̬͎͇̱̻̭̪͈̘̳̇̈́̎̔̃̆̇̎̔̔́́͑̍̾̾̎̿̈̇̕͘̚̚̚͘͘͠ ̴̧̡̛̛͙̳͇̰̞̣̪̫̟̊͊̊̒̓̇̏͛͌͛̋̄̏̀́͐̊͂̀̓̓̒͐̊̿͑͘̕̚͘͜͝͝͝ṳ̷̢̡̘̜͎̩͓̼̠̗̩̙͕͕̗̝̫͇̺̯̝͕̟̪̝͚̰̲̣͔̬͈̮̜͙͊̅͗̐͑̄̂͒́̔́̐̎̆̽̑̉̓̒̓̔͑̉͘͠ͅn̴̢̧̡̞̹͎̣͍̻̫̯͎̺̥̖̫̺̟̩̯̲̥̰̥͓͖̥̟̖͉̿̄̓̇̂̈́̏̽͊̅̓͊̔̈́̐̐̍̈́̍̅̃̅̆̊̐̇̕̕͜͜͜͜͝ͅt̶̛͉̿̄̈́̈͒̏͑͊̓̅̈͐͆̑̎͋̈́̔̋̐̏͂̂͌͑̐̚̚͜͠͝h̵̤̝͕͍̙̟̞̞̠̥͖̜͍͍̬̼͉̯̳̖̭̫̰͎̼̻̐͊̽̉̿͗̿͘͜ͅͅi̵̢̢̡̧̨̲̠̜͍͈̘̲̠̘̩̗̳̰͍̱̠̗͚͔̞̣̟̳͙͉͈̒̇́̈̒̈́̋̽͛̄̽̃͋͊͊̑̎̈̆͑́̊̋̆̑̇̈́̉̋̓͂̑̉͒̔͘͝n̸͉̖̩͙̮̤̞̯͖̱̮̫̞̳̳̈́̓͋̐ͅk̷̨̭̮̖̝̖̄̑̇̐͊̌̏͐͛̔̌̂̂͘͘͝ā̷̧̢̨̪̯̣͔̼̱̩͍͚̝̪͈̖͎̗̞̻̘̻͍̩̹͉̻̘͜͠b̶̨̧̧͍̼̼̠̙͓͇̰̲̬̫̯̺̥̮̣͙͚̃̕ͅl̴̨̢̨̩̗̺̗͙̬̟̗͈̞̜͔̳̙͎̘̬̜̻̯̦̬͉̮̙̜̽̏̂̽͆̂̐͌͌͛͆͂͌̍̎̅͒͛̈̽̊͒̽̕̚͝e̷̡̡̨̢̮̙͎̳͕͔̘̰͈̪̓͌̆͜͠.̶̨̡̢̧̟̱̪̘͇͈̠͔̗̟͇̠͉͎͕͙͎̹͙͇͕͖̦̎̄̌̄̄̅̀̑͋̉̚͘̕͜͜͠͠͠͝ͅͅ ̴̡̢̖̪̭̺͎͚̪̪̜̝͙̣̫̲̻̞̟͌̆͒̽̓̉̆̃̇̂͆͑̅͌̓̈́̔̏̑͋̐̈́͂͑̾͌͛̓̈́͐̿͝͝

"Pikachu?" Pikachu looked up at Ash as he banished the thoughts he never wanted to remember.

"Pikapi." Pikachu smiled, Ash relaxed and smiled back. It was good to see him smiling again.

"You finished eating?" Pikachu nodded and pointed at the single plate served and set aside. Ash chewed his lip before serving himself and sat down at the table beside Pikachu. He looked down at his plate, looked at all the others eating and picked up his fork and he ate.

Pikachu very carefully did not show his relief, instead opting to give himself a quick bath.

Lillie was waiting for them at the school gate, stiff as a tree when Ash neared her. She looked at Pikachu and took a tiny step forward to walk alongside Ash. Ash grinned cheerfully at her.

"You're doing great." He said, always ready to use positive reinforcement. The girl was brave. And so kind for being so alone, always surrounded but never interacting with all the humans and pokemon. He could see that Ash was changing her.

For the better.

Just like always.

His partner has a habit of collecting broken people and pokemon.

"Is Professor Kukui's house... more bearable?" She asked, his partner frowned thoughtfully at her.

"It's... different..." he started hesitating, as he thought about how to explain himself. Pikachu doesn't understand why it's hard for humans to communicate with one another.

"I brought two wild pokemon to his house..." he says, and Pikachu sighs when he still can't figure out how to word what he wants to say. Pikachu jumps, latching onto Ash's shirt and scampered up to his shoulder.

"Pikapikachupika Pikapi." Ash hums.

"It's warm. And there's my own space." Pikachu nodded, the girl looked a little confused but smiled all the same.

"I understand a little, I'm glad you're getting settled. The next step will be making it your home too." Ash stopped, just before they could climb up the stairs and fished out the small stuffed Pikachu keychain that Mew had pointed out yesterday. Ash held out onto the metal ring and showed Lillie the small stuffed Pikachu.

"You need to make it your home too." He said seriously. Lillie gently grabbed the toy, smiling softly.

"Me 'n Pikachu promise that one day you'll be able to touch him too." She closed her hands around the toy and brought them to her cheek, eyes closing with the force of her grin.

"Thank you Ash."

Class passed with zero incidents. Though Pikachu was sorely tempted to shock the nosy students that would not stop talking about his partner as if he were not even in the room.

"Pikapi?" Ash looked up from the paper in front of him. Pikachu pointed to Mew, the mythical was snooping at the bookshelf on the second floor. Ash hissed quietly, burying his face in his hands. Bayleef peered at them from behind Ash, raising a vine in askance.

"Just keep Mew out of trouble for now." Bayleef nodded and walked off, silently trodding off so as to not draw any attention. Pikachu climbed onto Ash's shoulder and slouched so that he could watch his partner's back. The small hint of tension along his back that appeared when Bayleef left, vanished. 

* * *

"Okay class, if you could pass your assignments forw-" Ash looked up at the sudden pause, silence all around him.

The hair on the back of his neck was standing on end.

The silence so loud he felt that if he breathed a word, it would shatter.

Ash was throwing himself forward, tucking and rolling and sliding to a stop as a thunderous sound met his ears.

"Mew?" Ash had his fists tucked close to his body as he tried to control his fight of flight response. Scraggy climbed out of his shirt, and crawled down, tugging on his arm until it was wrapped around him.

"Bay!!! Bayleefleefbay!!" Bayleef lectured Mew as she grabbed the books that had fallen on and around his desk. Ash looked at the mess of books and very carefully did not look behind him as he made his way towards his desk and began to stack the books up to make it easier for Bayleef. 

Mew landed on his head, putting his hat on and flicked their tail around to wrap around his shoulders. Ash paused as several pairs of hands began to help him stack the books. His hands shook, but he was actually okay with everyone being as close to him as they were.

Some how, he wasn't as wound up as he used to be.

Still, he could have done without having an entire bookshelf of books dropped on him.

"Just for that, I'm not letting you sleep with me." Ash mutters softly, Mew giggles, yeah okay... maybe he would let Mew still sleep with him.

Ash peered around the pokemon center. He and Lillie were edging around the room with their backs to the wall. Ash shifting closer to the front when pokemon neared, and Lillie moving so that he could hide behind her when people came to close.

"Sorry kids, now's not a good time. A Bewear was angered and a lot of pokemon were hurt." Ash looks at Lillie, a crestfallen look on her face and he looked around at the people with their pokemon worrying and starting to get rowdy.

"We could help. I could see the pokemon with smaller injures so you'll have your hands free for the bigger cases. Lillie could help the trainers get organized." Lillie looked surprised, hands coming up to clench around the strap of her bag, one hand holding the toy Pikachu keychain.

"Ash is right. We can help, just show us what to do." Nurse Joy's harrassed look softened as she looked at them. She smiled, then gestured for them to follow her. She passed them a button that said:

' **Attending Assistant. How can I help?'**

Ash and Lillie split up, ready to help out in any way that they could.

* * *

Lillie stumbled out of the pokemon center with a tired groan. Ash didn't look as tired as her but his hands were shaking a little. He was looking at her hands, she glanced down to see them clenched tightly around the gift he'd given her. Oh. Her arms were covered in goosebumps.

They laughed. Relieved and nervous.

They were like two sides of the same coin.

Fear of people but such a people person.

Fear of pokemon but so much love for the pokemon.

They were both trying so hard to get over trauma, yet both of them had come to a stand still.

Together they were making new strides.

Together they would surpass trauma and break free of its chains.

"Thank you Ash." Ash looked at her and rubbed the back of his neck.

"You're the one making progress." Lillie huffed, cheeks puffing out with air.

"You're the one who took me to the pokemon center. You're the one who thought to see if i could handle being near Comfey." Ash grinned, hitching a thumb at the pokemon center.

"Misty is afraid of bug pokemon, but she was okay with my butterfree. I thought the same thing when I took you to see Comfey." Lillie blinked in surprise. That made sense.

What girl was afraid of flowers and cute butterfrees or beautiflies?

_Lillie had been given an white egg with pale blue and teal flowers. Her friends, (she had friends now.) had chosen her to be the one to raise the egg. Despite her inability to touch the egg, it had been gifted to her. They had believed she would be able to touch the pokemon within it._

_That she would be able to take a step forward._

  
_Lillie kept the egg on a pillow in her room. Hobbes polished the egg whenever she failed to reach out. She read to the egg. Covered it with blankets to keep it warm._

  
_Each time she reached out, terror would engulf her. There would be an indescribable feeling of helplessness and overwhelming fear._

  
But then Ash came to Alola.

  
He took her by the hand and introduced her to a Comfey. 

  
And suddenly.

  
She could move closer to the egg. She had yet to actually touch the egg, but she knows that it would only be a matter of time.

And then the moment came. Mew had been playing around in her room. Bouncing on her bed, Scraggy and Pikachu bouncing as well, when the egg rolled. Ash hadn't seen, his back to the bed, but he'd taken one look at her face. And rolled backwards without a thought.

His chair hit the floor and he rolled until his back hit the bed, the egg, _Snowy,_ was safe.

Lillie was on her knees beside him, arms wrapped around the egg as her heart beat in her chest.

"Lillie." She opened her eyes, Ash was moving his hands away from her. Her gaze was instantly drawn to a teal flower that was at the top of the egg.

The egg she had studied from afar for months.

Lillie was shaking. There were tears in her eyes as she looked down at her hands.

"I knew you could do it." Ash whispered beside her. Pikachu was gazing at her with a wide grin.

Mew's eyes twinkled.

"Thank you Ash." Lillie cried as she hugged the egg.

As she hugged Snowy for the time.

In just under one week, she has made so much progress. She could touch the egg entrusted to her.

She was going to be able to break free.

And then as if Snowy had been waiting for her all along.

A crack split down the egg, a hand on her arm kept her from panicking.

A beautiful Alolan vulpix was staring up at her.

"Congratulations." The tears welling in her eyes fell.

Snowy felt warm.

And cool.

And so very soft.

Gazing up at her with trusting eyes.

"Hello Snowy, I'm glad to finally meet you." Lillie smiled.


	6. When He Looks In Her Eyes, He Don't Know He Is Safe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: rockabye- madilyn Bailey cover

Ash Ketchum was kind. And selfless.

And a little bit broken.

Like calls to like.

What he'd done for Lillie.

He'd done something that no one else could.

Maybe this was why he had taken in a dying Stoutland and his charge, an untrusting Litten. Kukui watched the Kantonese teen run out the door with nothing but the clothes on his back and his pokemon, shoes having been abandoned as he ran off into the night. 

It was five in the morning when Ash returned staring brokenly at the Litten in his arms. They were soaking wet.

All of them.

Kukui set down towels for them all, heated up the broth for the pokemon and set down a mug of Tapu coco. The door opened and Tapu Koko floated in, cooing at Ash. 

"Oh..." he looked at his wrist. "...No..." Tapu Koko seemed to understand what Ash meant with his short response and simply settled down.

There was silence all around as Lillie showed up with a beautiful Alolan vulpix in her bag. And then there were screams of delight when she lifted it into her arms and hugged it to her body.

"This is Snowy." She introduced, and Kukui watched her with blurry vision. His thumb and index finger quickly wiping away any tears as he offered her a congratulatory smile and shoulder squeeze.

"I _knew_ you could do it Lillie. I'm so _proud_ of you." He whispers past the lump in his throat. She beams.

It almost made him forget the state he had left Ash in. Though, the weather was a good enough reminder. One was making progress and the other falling behind.

Not that it was a competition. He hopes neither saw it as one.

They were moving at their own paces.

Ash just happened to have a roadblock pop up. He wonders just how he can help someone, that made it perfectly clear that they don't want help. That needs help, yet is so afraid to reach out they would stunt their own recovery?

No, that was wrong.

He didn't _want_ Kukui's help, but was still willling to accept Lillie's help. Though what help could Lillie actually provide? When she had her own healing.

Lillie had helped though. Just as Ash had helped Lillie. Seeing her carry Snowy was all the proof he needed. He just-

Kukui had no choice but to wait.

He would abide by Ash's wishes.

"Where's Ash?" Kukui looked up from his textbook at Lillie's question. He thought back to earlier that morning when Ash had bundled up all his pokemon and stared at nothing. Ignoring the letter with a blackened return address. 

"He was not feeling well today." Lillie looked even more concerned, she looked as if she wanted to ask more but fell silent instead. Kukui resolved to speak with her later.

"Professor Kukui... is Ash... okay?" Lillie asked hesitantly as soon as the class was dismissed for lunch. Kukui could see the other kids paying close attention.

"The Stoutland he took in a week ago passed away." Lillie gasped, hands clenching around a keychain. She glanced outside where it was pouring.

"Is... is he going to be okay?" She queries with a timid look on her face. Kukui felt guilty. Death was obviously something hard to bring up. Some of his students understood it, living with the heavy burden of its knowledge. Others had pushed memories of it to the backs of their minds. And some did not understand it in its true context as they have not been touched by it.

"I'm honestly not sure." He responds, Lillie looks down at the keychain with a small nod.

"Thank you for telling me the truth Professor."

She bent down to pick up the Alolan vulpix that the class had unanimously erupted into cheers about before telling her to catch the baby pokemon.

Kukui opened the door and froze. Was...

Was that Tapu Fini?

The Guardian Deity of Poni island that had been missing for as long as he had been alive.

Ash's hair was wet again. As were his clothes. 

And yet he was out like a light on the floor.

He seemed to be here now. Litten was no longer curled up in his arms looking so lost and alone. Instead Litten was curled into a ball on Ash's chest as he and his pokemon slept. Kukui could see new dishes in the drying rack and felt relieved that Ash had eaten something. He slipped inside and made his way to his room to grab clothes for a shower.

He hadn't meant to get out so late, but thankfully he didn't wake Ash when he got home.

Kukui had only just finished wrapping his bicep when the door was pushed open and Mew floated in. Pale blue eyes watched him with a knowing glint, they zeroed in on his bruised hip and wrapped bicep befoee floating forward and daintily setting their paws on his injuries. He was surprised by the warmth followed by the pain vanishing. Mew left, leaving Kukui alone in his bedroom.

"I know. I'll try not to get injured in my next match." Kukui collapsed backwards onto his bed and dragged the blankets closer.

Ash was petting Litten and Rockruff when Kukui walked out of his bedroom. Pikachu looked at him, eyes narrowed before calmly flicking his tail at Ash's leg. Ash blinked slowly, peering up at him.

"Sorry i got home so late last night. Tonight i should be back before it gets dark." Ash dips his head in acknowledgement but otherwise makes no show of noticing him.

Litten was crying.

The Guardians were gone.

And Rockruff was injured.

For three days and three nights, Ash sat vigil beside Litten. Welcoming Rockruff home with open arms and berries to help him heal.

Kukui was getting curious about where Rockruff was going to come back so injured.

He let the matter drop as Ash's current state took precedence. 

He'd contacted Hala to see if maybe he would be able to help. To offer Ash and Litten counseling. 

What he had not expected, somehow having grown used to Ash's magnetism to legendaries, was for Hala to lose his calm.

Tapu Koko, Tapu Fini and even Tapu Bulu were sitting in his living room with bowls of berries while Ash was scribbling away in his journal. He had colored pencils, a tape measure, a small Polaroid camera and several small bags full of iridescent sand? spread out beside him.

"Welcome back Kukui-" Ash froze, eyes wide as he looked at Hala. He was on his feet in seconds, Tapu Koko stood before him with his arm outstretched as if to protect Ash.

Or hold him back.

"What is going on Kukui?!" He demanded, scowling fiercely. Kukui hadn't realized the implications of having the Guardian Deities in his home with a foreigner.

"Wait, Hala! It's not what you think!" Kukui blurted, Mew chose that moment to teleport in with Tapu Lele.

"Lele?" The Deity cooed in confusion, clapping their hands in delight as Mew twisted and twirled around them.

"Koko." Tapu Koko called, holding up Ash's wrist.

"Is that the z ring you took from my workshop?" At Tapu Koko's nod, Hala paused. "You have chosen him. This boy from far off lands?" Tapu Koko nodded once more, this time with a glint in his eyes. It was a rather fearsome look that sparked in those electric eyes.

Tapu Koko tapped the crystal then pointed to itself and Hala before once more pointing to the crystal. 

"You want me to give him a trial." Hala continued, being the best at translating for the Deities.

"Oh, that's what you meant by those battles last week." Came a whisper from behind Tapu Koko, Kukui stiffened. He had noticed Pikachu and Tapu Koko sizing each other up when the Deity spent the night. 

But he had not thought they were fighting.

Just who exactly was Ash Ketchum?

* * *

Ash stood behind Tapu Koko with a feeling of dread curling in his chest. He knows he somehow angered the older man.

People were touchy about legendary and mythical pokemon. Touchy enough that they'd become enraged that a kid had seen and interacted with them.

Ash did not want a repeat of Hoenn.

Pikachu obviously had the same thoughts running through his head as he sparked, eyes narrowed. 

**The humming was stronger, a wet feeling developed in his palms. It felt like he was holding a water dagger, a voice whispered for him to stay back.**

There was a soft clicking noise.

Ash peeked past Koko to see Rockruff once more limping into the house. Ash crouched down, trusting Pikachu to watch the older man beside Kukui and held his arms open. Rockruff barked happily and trotted limply to him. Once in Ash's arms he rubbed his rock collar to Ash. It hurt, but Ash bore the pain with ease and stood up, slipping behind Koko once more.

"Lelele?" Ash shifted a little and looked at Tapu Lele, they waved a hand and some fairy dust shimmered. Rockruff's injuries healed within moments.

"That's so amazing!" Ash dove forward for his journal and began a new entry. He hastily scribbled away his observations, Pikachu hopping off his shoulder before returning with his camera. Ash took two photos, passing them to Pikachu to shake as he sketched the Guardian deity. 

"Ash, can Hala talk to you and Litten?" Ash looked up from his journal. He was once more surrounded by his field kit and Bayleef was picking at his colored pencils to rearrange them back into their case. She plucked two from behind his ears and lightly smacked his forehead as she pulled one out of his mouth.

"Sorry." He admitted bashfully before turning his attention to Kukui and the older man beside him.

"What for?" Litten chose that moment to strut past Tapu Fini and curl into a loose ball for a nap.

"Hala is here to offer you two counseling." Ash looked at Tapu Fini, then Litten. 

"Tapu Fini... already did that..." he stated in confusion. The older man, Hala looked at Tapu Fini with a critical look then nodded.

"I am no longer needed. In two days time you will face the totem pokemon for your trial. Pass and you will face me. Fail and you will not receive my grand trial." Koko cooed in outrage, Ash catching hold of the mythical's beak arm, stopped it from raging. Koko glanced down at him, seeing something in his expression as he calmed and instead opted to converse with Pikachu about what was to be expected of them in their trial.

Ash spent the rest of the night detailing his findings, asking for Rotom's input about the Guardian Deities measurements, and any lore the sentient dex could dig up.

Ash and Rotom were getting along better than they had the first few days. Ash put it down to his assistant title and the fact that Rotom could benefit off of the pokemon Ash encountered.

Ash walked behind Kukui-hakase as they followed Rockruff at a distance.

Mew was excitedly prancing about as a Litten while his Litten slept with Scraggy back at Kukui-hakase's house. Ash pulled out a pokeball from his pocket. Pikachu patted his shoulder and rubbed their cheeks together. Pikachu was right.

Stoutland had chosen him to continue raising Litten. But Litten had made the choice to remain beside him and grow stronger. He would not doubt himself. He couldn't afford to when he was raising new pokemon and Scraggy.

"Poor Rockruff." Ash whispered as the puppy lost. He trained so hard, but picked up all the wrong habits.

He was obviously struggling to unlock his full potential. 

Maybe Ash could lend a hand?

"Hey Rockruff, would you like to do some trainin'? You and me together? To learn a new move?" Ash asked, arms coming up as he smiled at the puppy. Pikachu chattered excitedly at Rockruff, explaining that Ash could help him bring out his full potential.

Ash brought his arm down to rest on his knee as he glanced fondly at his partner.

"Pikachu will help too." Rotom questioned him, asking him why he would help Rockruff, a wild pokemon.

Ash smiled, admitting that he just wanted to help the puppy. Rockruff bounded forward and rubbed his ruff against Ash's cheeks. Ash giggled as he held the puppy.

**Pride. A fist pressed against his chest. Togetherness.**

* * *

Lillie watched Ash train with Rockruff. No fear. 

No hesitation.

He saw someone, or pokemon in need and he didn't hesitate to reach out.

She admired that about him.

He was always willing to lend a hand. Willing to reach out.

She wouldn't be surprised if Rockruff chose to stay with him. She wonders if they'll go back to the pokemon center after school or head over to her home. Ash had missed a few days of school, and his choosing to train Rockruff, had given them all the opportunity to spend the day out of class.

Thankfully this didn't count as another absence for him as he was teaching them.

His qualifications as Professor Oak's assistant lended him some credence so the other teachers could not be upset with them for not attending school if their lecture and lecturer was outside.

Watching Ash effortlessly defend himself from rock throw was amazing.

He looked so cool.

* * *

Kukui watched Ash lift a log with no effort.

Ash.

A scrawny fifteen year old.

Who ate maybe twice every three days. And slept maybe eight hours in a whole week.

He didn't shake or break a sweat at the weight he tossed over his shoulder.

He wasn't the only one staring.

Hala hummed before he picked up two logs and Hariyama picked up two as well.

Ash made a noise, glanced at everyone's looks of amazement and then looked at the log in his arms.

"Ah." He said simply, then continued to carry one log at a time. Pikachu sat on his shoulder, watching. His Bayleef carried a log as well until the road had cleared. 

"Bye!" Ash was running off down the road, disappearing in seconds.

Kukui looked at the z crystal given to him by Ash from Hala's totem pokemon. He handed it back to Ash, smiling a little when he extended his hand to accept it rather than have one of his pokemon grab hold of it.

"Congratulations Ash. I knew you could do it." Ash grinned, arms crossing behind his head as they walked home.

"How about i treat you to some Malasadas? There's a good food truck around here." Ash as always was excited to learn something new or try something new. That at least had not been tampered out by his trauma.

"We'll take ten Malasadas." Kukui ordered when they were at the food truck.

"Here, this one's on the house." Ash froze, he had a strange look on his face as he paused mid reach. He took the Malasadas handed to him and smiled.

He bit down onto the Malasadas and looked like he had experienced bliss. He split the rest with his pokemon so that they each had a bite. Each one looked the same. So happy and at peace.

"Thanks Meowth." Kukui paused in paying, wait. 

"Thank you for your patronage, have a nice day!" His money was taken, change tossed at him and the window was slammed shut.

"O...okay..." Kukui glanced down at his bag then bent down to pick up his change.

* * *

Ash had runnings with Team Skull before. Mostly though. It was like a bunch of kids trying to play at being gangsters.

It was honestly a bit of a joke to him.

Jessie and James had been a lot more threatening and dangerous at fifteen then these bozos. Sure they failed in their schemes at the beginning but when you look back on it.

They were dangerous, well planned and outright brilliant in retrospect. They only got more dangerous as time went on.

Unova being when they were most dangerous. And their skills only grew.

He shuddered at the thought of them not being on his side when he needed it. They were definitely great help in stopping the other organizations that had a hand in trying to destroy the world.

He also knows, were it anyone else in team rocket, Ash would not have made it out of most of the situations he found himself in.

He kinda felt bad about letting Pikachu have a go at them. At the same time... they had it coming. Nobody harasses Ash with Pikachu nearby.

Then a teenager with blond hair and Lycanroc midnight form strolled forward and ordered the Team Skull members to stop embarrassing themselves and leave. They left and the teen stood across from them with a harsh look in his eyes.

Ash didn't even notice Pikachu run back to him as he held Scraggy and Pika!Mew closer. His heart beat loudly in his ears.

He shrunk back, his mind overlapping this boy with another who he thought of as a friend. He believed in him, forgave him and yet... the mere mention of him flooded his veins with ice.

_A̴͔̰̼͎͑͝š̸̨͈̥̯̔h̷̡͌͝ ̵̡̙̚ř̵̼̹̬̣͠e̷̞̩̬̕͝a̵̧̺̮͋̈c̶̤̔̽́h̵͚̋͝e̶̡͗̈́̀d̶̰͖̱͚̈́͂̇ ̶͎̝̙͙͋͝ǭ̸̛͓̥̄͜͝u̸̪͎͔͑t̶̻͚̜͐̈́ ̴̟̃t̵̲̔͛̒͆ȍ̶̢̘͉͊ ̷̣̩̇̀A̵̻̲̎̊͜͠l̷̩̠̜͓̕ȁ̸̯͇̈̉i̴͖̽̾͝͠ň̵̯͎,̶̢͖̦̤͗͘ ̵̣̩̄͌͗͒i̴͔̝̜͋n̸͎͔͈̕͝ͅt̸̢̨̺̂̅ͅẽ̴̳̻̓̊͜ń̶̛̝͈̓d̵̦̻̩͒͑i̷͔̎̋ṇ̸͖̭̠́̆g̸̳̠̳̅́̔̌ ̴̠͔̝̒t̵̫͇̞̒̿o̴̭͑ ̶̹̈́̒̋l̶̙̿͊̑͘e̴͖͍͛͛͘å̷̭̬̽͒̑v̸̬̦̿̃̊è̶̙̞̔̐.̵̻̂ ̵̪̠͖̌A̶̡̖͛l̵͇̦̍͝ā̵̤i̷̥̬̝̫͋n̶͉̥̪͒̃̌ ̸̨̧̓ẗ̸̞́͆͝ṷ̸̮̄̉̀̚ģ̸̛̩͊̒͑g̷̨̲͍̖̓̋ẹ̴̟̐d̷̫͈̖̋̏̊̚ ̸̘̕h̴̲͗̊̎͠i̵̮̚ṣ̶͇̺͓̈́̈́̋̚ ̴̡̳̭͇̀̾̊ả̵̢̙̯r̵̘͖̣͗̃̍̏ṁ̶͎̥ ̷̠̃͘͝͝f̵̧̰̝͝ř̸̲̪ê̸̻͝ȇ̷̝̳͓̿͑̾,̸͚͙̅̿̕̕ ̵̨̛̙̃͜ń̶̨̧̝̕͠o̶̹̞̓̌t̷̛͍͖͂͑ ̴̧̢̢̽̈̑͜͝l̵̨̞̹̭͒o̴̱͎̎o̵̢̡̭̜͛̏͛͝k̸̡̻͍͗i̸̞͉͒̂͝͠n̴̤̮̜g̷̺̃͂͌ ̸͓́͑̓a̸̤͌͑ṱ̴̐͘ ̴̢͗͂͋͌͜A̷̼̎s̵̯͂͊h̵͖̋̚.̵̤̕ ̵̩̠̄̆͝T̵̩͊ḩ̸̙̮̙e̷̼͒ ̷̢̰͎̣͆͑̔͠s̴̢̹̦̹̎t̷͙̋̄͝ͅȋ̷̬̭̎n̸̡͕̟̅̌͝ǵ̵̨̬͜ ̶̡̬̭̋̓̀͆ó̵̝̖̬̓̄ͅf̵̻̖̱̿̒ ̷͚̭̖̋̂b̷̡̗̽̑ē̶͔̽̂̍͜t̷͔̩̟̓̉͆̈r̴̘̰̫̾ả̶͍̠͍ẏ̷̨̳̥̉͝ả̵̢̗̌l̸̗̮̈͜͝ ̸͕̯̒͜ả̵͔̥̤͝ͅm̸̪̑̋̏d̵̟͋̌̋̈ ̴͈̪̏͒͐s̴̢͉͗̓͋͘h̷̲̮̻̘̽̏͋ỏ̷͙̭̖́c̶̛̫̞̭̈̀k̵̬̼̳̑̚ ̵͍͕͓͑͛̐a̴̘̙͌s̴̭͆́ ̵̢̻͛h̷̭̪͙͈̐̏̌͠e̵̢͓̠͌̊̾ ̴̹̘͒̎̂͜͜͠ŵ̴̹̣̀a̴̯̻̣͗s̴̢̝̫͐̌̇̈ ̸͎̞̾̈́f̴̄̔̈́͜o̸̺͋ͅr̸͇̖̫̠͛͐̾c̸͙͙̹̩̐̀̚͝e̶̪̅d̴̻̋̓͜ ̴͉͖̹͌͆i̶͓͍͛n̶̳̄ẗ̸͉̤̱́̌o̷̧͙̩͜͠ ̴̢̭̝̆̒͐u̶͕͈̗͖̒͐̑͝n̵̰̖̈̈̌̒c̶̘͈̱͐̀̅̌ͅȏ̴̡͇̠͓̉͋n̵̻̬͎͍̈̓͑s̴̡̖̾̈́c̵̛͖ĩ̷̤̻͔̫ȯ̸̩̈̅u̸̥̘͖̿͌s̶̥̔̅̚͝n̵̗͎̳͌̈́̉̇e̶̡͔̅s̵͙͆͝s̸͚͆.̷̙̲̓͆̕ ̶̟̙͕̎͜ ̶̨̬̓̈́̃"̵̡̥̓͊͝A̵̢͕͘̚l̶̡̥̯̂̿͝ą̵̏͠i̶͖̔̄͌͋ņ̷͕̟̓ͅ!̶̛̤ ̵̛̤̣͠W̵̧͎̦̔̓͌ḩ̵̛̟̓a̸̮̱͗͗̆͝t̸̲̺̭̊͋͛̈́͜'̷͖͉̓s̸̪̘̄̽̈́͜͠ ̷̡̛͕̤̻̇g̴̫͕̻̒́̕͜o̴̧͎̞̤͝i̴͚̋̈́͠n̵̠̫̉̃g̷͈̃̃ ̵̨̩̼͗ö̸̖́͛̃n̵̬̞̗̂?̸͖̔̕ ̴̙̩̫̟̒Ļ̵̈́͐e̶̮͊̚̚t̵͎̋̕ ̴̛̠̖́ü̵̧̙̰̦͐̔s̸͈̣͓̄̍́̌͜ ̸͇͍̉̄̕͝ͅg̵͙̳̪͉̓̆̒̔o̶̜͠!̷͈̲͘"̴̧͓͔̈́̐͘͠ ̴͔͒̓̓P̷͚̼̝̣̓̍̐͠l̸̺̖͆̆̿͠ẻ̷͇͔̙͚a̴͍͂ͅd̵̮͓̋͆i̷̢̛̭͌̐ͅn̷̨̙̎͒̔͠ǧ̵̫̳̻̈,̵̨̲̰͈̈́͘ ̶̲͉̉b̸̭̓̽͘e̷̫̿g̷̭̤̠̩͆g̸̠͎͙̺̈̍̊i̷̢͙̎̾ņ̸͙̃̕͠g̷͕̋̋̉̓ ̶̢̲̩̅͝t̵̡͚̑̌̋̆h̷͙̪͙̋a̵̠̟̻͑t̵̤̿̔̒̏ͅ ̷̪̘̦̼̈́̈́h̴̥̙̥̲̆̆e̷͇̼͚͠ ̵̪̯̪̑̈́͂͝w̶̮̞̞̲̓̃̔̓a̶̗̮̦̼͂͝s̷̭͒̂͐ ̷̲̖̠̈ͅw̸̘̪͑͝r̶̲͝o̸̢̡͗̊ṇ̸͊͐g̴̛̝̘̾͗.̶͉̫͌͠ ̴̠̣̯͂̈́̕Ţ̴̹̤͕̿h̶̥̍a̷̮͘t̵͙͍̪̔̋̍ͅ ̷̛̲̤͂ͅA̸̪̲̳̝̔͋̑͒l̷̙̠̦̊̕͠a̵͕̩̎i̷̟͛̈́n̸̟̚ ̷̻̪̩͂̃̽̕h̶̠̥̖̿̉͋͂ả̷͙̝͎͂̒͛d̴̈͜ ̶̅̀̿ͅͅṅ̶̖o̵̱͖̣͛̉̓͜t̴̢͕̖͈͊ ̸͈̻̽̐b̵̛̠̙̾͜͠ḛ̵̰̒t̸̘̅r̶̻͠ạ̴͇̖̞̿y̸̝͇̽ȩ̸̜̟̊d̸̨͍͔͝ ̶̘̓h̷̦͖̅̀͛́i̴͎̺̰͗͛m̷̯͎̏̌͘,̵͎͎̹͐ ̷͜͠b̸͖̪̋͗̾̕ų̴̌ț̸̦̃͂͠ ̸̲̙̤̮͂͑s̴̬͂͝e̸̘̜̹̊͊e̴̜̰̼͕̓͌̕ì̴̡͔̭̀n̷̪͗̈́͆͌g̵̥̻̩̳̋̇ ̸̛̻͓̭͂Z̸̘͇̚y̶̯͐̇͛ǧ̸̮̊̈͑ä̴̪̥̻̪̅r̴͎̣̞̩̊̌d̸̘͚̳̻̿̿͝e̷̢̞͆͒͝ ̸̼̦̫̹̈́̑ű̶͓̟̈́̆̐n̷͈̤͈̬͋̕͝͝d̴̖̦̩̀̋͒̚e̵̲̪̹̒̈́r̷͙̻͐̈͊ ̸̛̹̑͆́L̵͕̳͑y̸̩̒͛͜ͅͅs̸̝̖̔̊̆a̸̳̝͊̾̋̕ņ̷̞̠̈͊͝d̷͕̹͍̀̉e̵̦̬̜̞̚r̶̨͖̼͉͋'̴̱̘͔̼̒̓̓͝s̵̖̐̚͝ ̷̦̝̽ç̷̧̠̤̀͠o̴̗̱̰̦̿̒͛̀ň̷͚̹t̴̰͋͑r̵̹̠͋̇̈́̆ỏ̸̮̄l̷̳̟̭̾.̷̢̣̩̮̌ ̷͙̺̽͌͜"̴̖̖͝Ḁ̵̧̲͔̽́̅͝l̵̨͔̻̥̕ã̵̧̪͖̜ị̶̈́̿̆n̶̨̠̤̣̔ ̴̪̺̘̎̄w̸̭̖̚ȟ̷̺͇͓̭̚a̶̜͂ͅt̵̩̫͙̋̃̓͛'̴̡̞̫̤s̴̠̆̀̀ ̶̧̗̥ġ̷̫̝̣̼̕ȍ̵̩͍̱̳̋̓̿ï̵͚̾ͅñ̴͈̜̆̚g̵͚͑ ̸̝͂ö̵̖́n̴̝̄̈́͝?̵̬̲͔̩̏̂"̸̡͉͊ ̵͙̤͇̜͂͌̀H̸̘̻͔̎ḛ̴͎̅̍͛ ̴̢̟͍͙͠d̸̡̟ě̵̮̒͌m̴̢͐͌ͅa̵͉̬̽n̷̛̗̭̬̩͋̈́d̵̼͖̪͂̌̿e̵͓̊ḑ̸͕̄͊͑̚,̴̼̂ ̵͕̞̓b̶̨̝̝͍̐̓ü̴̡͉̤̯͂̌̕t̸̛̮͖̼̍͑ ̷͇̝̉͐i̵̟̅̑̈́t̶̙̤͛̐͝ ̶̜̥͔̖͊l̵̝͔̩̽ȍ̴͔̍ó̴̥͙̣͉k̸͔̝̎͊s̷̥͆ ̴̢̖̓͑͆̑l̸̬̘̼͘i̴̫̍́̾k̵̰̂e̴̻̣̎͌ ̷̙̰͛͛̋͋h̸̗̯̝͌͘i̵̭̓̉s̷̯̩͒͆̓ ̷̝̽̌̽ͅf̵̮̈́̈́͑r̷͍̠͋̓į̶̾e̶̬̕n̷̟͕̯̕d̶̜̗̓̈́ ̴̨̳̜̠͆͝h̷̰̫͍̤̃a̸̜͙̽͒d̶͕̯̚̚ ̷̤͈̀ȏ̵̤̦̰̑̾͑f̸̩̾f̶̻͆͗̚͜ę̵͇͈̎̑͌͌r̶̠̙̃̃͐͝ẹ̸͎d̸͓̰̜̒̓͋͋ ̷̳̠͕͓h̷̛͍̰̘̪̽͐̈́i̷̮̺͂̈́͝m̷̮̌̔̎ ̸͚̙̥͕͝ư̵̱͒̽ṕ̵̢ ̵̛̪͉̗̘͌t̷̙͉̎ö̵̡̜̟́͆̅ ̷̜͓͂̈́̏̕t̵̻̮̒̽̏͜h̸͕͚̬̔͂ị̵̪͕̗͆̽͘͝s̸̝̓͋͐ ̸̪̔̇m̷̲͍͎ą̵̜̬̗̋̀͛͝ņ̸̝̟̔̈́̕͜ ̶̡̱͂͋̌̾w̸̡̹̣̱̑̏̎̑h̵̛͙̙̼̃̏o̶͜͝ ̵̢̰̿̆͝w̷̡̙̩̪̄̑ȏ̵̲̩̟͒ȕ̷̹l̶͗͝ͅd̷̨̛͌̀̄ ̴̛̩͒͋̚d̴͇̂̚͝e̴̮̾͛̃͋s̵̡̤͐͌ͅṭ̸̥̙͇͑́ṛ̵̺̫͂ȍ̸̤̜͎̚ͅy̸͖̦͕͐ ̴͍̘̗̅̾ͅt̵͍͓̰͒̓̆̄ͅẖ̸͚͐ë̶͇̘̗͔͑ ̴͚̾̍̉͊ẅ̷̗̋̋̔o̵̠͚̯̔̈́͑͠r̸̠̤̤͚̂͑̽l̸̯̒̇̔d̶͇͋̾͌.̷͕̆̏ ̵̼͌̂̀͒L̶̪̳͒̿e̸̢͊̈́a̶̮͉̅̽̓̀d̸̜͕̼̲͐̈́̓̌ ̷̦̱̳͒͒͠a̶͔̎̊̊͊s̸̻̻̪͐ț̷̼̘̅͜ŗ̷̩̊͊͜ą̸̦̝̆̕y̴̨̜͛ ̴͇̬͇̈́̾͗̾ä̷̜͎͉́͌̒͑s̵̡̞̙̊̌ ̶̪͉̮̻̅̋͋ḧ̴̘̬́̿̈́͒ę̴͔͖̣̇̋ ̷̼̝̝̒̐h̷̩̬̒a̶̭̤̬̪͗́͛͘d̵̹͈̣͘ͅ ̴̞̝̓͋̕b̸̥̫͎͔͊̔e̴̛̱̻̹̖è̷͈͉͛̓ṇ̶̨̖̆̃ ̴̰͑̇ͅť̷͔̪o̶̧̺͓͑̋̈́ ̸̨̢͕͋̒h̸̻̏e̶̢͍͉̽̌̆l̶̝͔̅̐̏p̵͚̝̃̐͊ ̴̛̥̫̙͖́̍͊M̸̧̠͍̾ä̴̩̱̓͜͝ȑ̴͎̩͑̕͝i̴͔̱͘n̴͉͉͑ ̸̼̲a̵͍̦̹͠n̴̩̉͜͠d̸͖̣̓͋ ̷̥̖̆̐C̴̪͍͖̽̓ͅh̸͎̾e̴̠̲̝̒́̿̐ś̶͍̭ͅp̷̡̑i̴͓͂̉͑e̶̗̙̖̦͌̈́̌̈.̵̛͓̼ ̵̧̑̈́͋ͅI̸̭͋̓̈́̕ͅẗ̸̜́͝͝ ̷̨̗͓́̈́s̵͔̻̞͇͘t̸̨̥͍̐́̓i̵̡̛̜͛̈́͒ļ̸̘͔͘l̴̡̿̽ͅ ̴̧͈͍̍̆̊h̴̦̜̩̹̐͊û̸͙̘̤̒̃ŕ̶̢̰͔̈́͂̕t̶̳̬̀.̴̬̺͗ ̵̳̈"̶̬̫̄Y̶̫̾o̵̝̍ṳ̸̘̬̘͋̒͆ ̶̡͎̠̲̈s̴̰͖̹̀̔̇e̵̡̟͉͙͌̌̽e̵͇̘̲͆̊ ̶͇̑̎͆̃A̵̭̙̭͊̃͜s̶̗͑̀h̷͓̻̘͋ͅ,̴̘̜̎ ̴̭̊̑̀̚y̷̰͍̓͒̍͝o̷̜̖͠ͅu̵̢̫͋͛͘ ̵̭̦̼̪̔͛͑̍m̷͉͙ì̴̡̨͓̟͆ĝ̶͇͓̩͒h̸̢̻͉͈̉͛ẗ̵͉́ ̴̢̼͎̉͒b̸̖̜͋̒ę̵̆͂͌ ̴̬̹̈̚o̸̡̳̲̓͆̽̓n̸̤̦̮͊͐̓̽e̸̮̰̤͇͑̏ ̶̬̤͑̓̇̽ő̵̧̧͈͇̈̈́̚f̴̘͎̊͋̅͠ ̷̺̪̇̉͆t̶͙̳̕͜ḩ̵͉͕̪̿͝e̶͚̱͖͉͋͂̅ ̶̟̳͊̕͠c̴̺̺̼̄͒͆̾h̸͕̺̼́o̵̦̤͉̅͗s̴̮̠̈́e̴͎̔̆ń̸̯̺̗̼͛͝ ̷̗̻͒o̴̘̲͎͛͘͝͠ñ̵̨͆͊͒e̷͓̜͓͊͆͘s̴̢͕̐́ͅ.̴̣̖͉̋͂"̴̻̐̏̈́ ̶̛͔̞ͅA̸̪͕͂̈́s̵̢̪̣̙̓h̸̺͛̎ͅ ̶̢͓͋͐͐̕d̶̼̒̍̉̃ͅi̷̪͈͌͑͆̉d̶͇̱͛͠ṇ̸̫̬̟̃'̴̛̻̙̍t̶̜̠̋̃͝ ̴̯͔͒͝͝w̴̺̗͖̋͜a̸̢̦̬̩n̸̨̗͋͐͗̒͜ẗ̴̪̹̯́ͅ ̷͍̯̘͋̎t̵̤͈̀ͅȏ̸͎ ̷͉̊h̸͇͍̐̄͗ͅė̷̝͚̒å̷̧̘̖͈r̶̨̪̥̥̉̇ ̸̯͋̚͠ͅa̶̪͌̊̃n̵̯͈̔y̷̤͗̋͛̚m̷̦̻̀̏ờ̸̮̈̄r̶̪͍͙̙̈̚e̸̪͊̂!̷̙̜̹̉̾̐̔ ̶̩̍͛͑"̷͓̚̕Ẅ̸̛̱̬́̃̓ḩ̵̼̺̎̃̆̕͜e̸̼͉̫̫̾̽ṅ̷̡͝ ̸͇̔̔̈́į̴̨̘̩̾͂̃̚ ̶͎̻̭̻̊̾s̶̞̎̈́̈́â̵̜w̵̲͒̀ ̵̡͔̜̝̇̍̚ẗ̸́͌͘͜͜h̶̢̯̳̓͑͠͝ḁ̸̖̝͑̊̕ț̷̡̽͜,̵͈̖̈́̋̏ ̵̯̻͋̇͋̈́ĭ̷̜̮̟̹ ̸͖͋͂ẇ̴̦̖͚̆̈́a̶̢͈̫̓͆̿͋ş̴̰̼̳̅ ̵͖͍̲͚̅ṫ̵̝̥͊h̶̢̺̫̠̉r̶͍̲̈́i̶̛̘̬̮͉̓̋͝l̵͇̩̉͜l̷̹̪̿͒̽̕ḙ̷̡̗̃̈d̵̜͘ͅ.̵̜̝̯̕͘͝͝ ̵̗̐͋̈́̕Ȳ̵̟͎̻o̸̡̟̍͊̈́u̴͈̇ ̶̨̳̦̠͝h̵͋͜͝å̶̢͈̬̟̚v̴̰̊͐ͅę̶̫͔̽̌͐ ̵̧̯̹͎̄s̵̡̨̢̓h̸͈̍̐o̸͓̱̍w̸̞̌̔ņ̸͎͂̌ ̸̣͂̐̍m̸͉̭͊̌̕͝e̵͇̪̖̜̒͗̔̅ ̷͍̘̮̇̈t̸̰͎̤̃͘ͅh̵̹͈̠̦͊̍͑̚e̴̢̧̻̋͋̆̐r̸̼̣̳̥͛e̶͍̠̚ ̸͔͓̓͂͠a̷̰͔͆̂r̴̨͕̚ḙ̸̽̿ ̸̮̭͙͑l̶̓̂̅͜i̴͉͓̿͛̑̈m̴̘̤̐́̾̑ï̴͈̏̈ṱ̷͓͇̓l̴͗̾͜ͅe̸̹͕͉̬̾̇͒͗s̵͔̏̈́̀s̷̛͎͉͍͂ ̴͓̕p̶̪̈́͂o̶̺͚͚̤͌̿s̸̨̰̖̔̕͘s̴͍͉͉̅ͅi̴͔̊̚b̵̟͠ỉ̶̻̰̯̓͑l̶͖̥̜̒́͌i̵̛̲̩̊t̵͔̼̗̏̾i̵̧̛̹͗e̸͕͒̆ŝ̵͍ ̶̲͆w̴͈͗̈̚i̴͉͝ẗ̴͔̘̘́h̵̜̱̤̼̅̓̾͘ ̵̧̹̉p̵̻͉̏͛͠ǫ̴̠̗̯̈̈́͠k̴͍̗̠̇̒̚e̷̮̋m̶̮͕̓o̷͚̱̮͖͒̽n̸̩̜͖̠̆͝ ̷̣̈́s̸̱̣̙̮̉ẗ̷̬̲́͐ì̸̜͑ĺ̵̤͖̳͕́͊ľ̵̖̫̬̘̉̂.̷̌̾̇͜ ̵̥̄Ã̴̞ǹ̷̢̝̫̻̓̋̌d̴̨̘̙̥̂̈́̆ ̸͓̔̈́̆̉i̴̱͛̅̌̉ ̵̛͕͚͔͗̏ͅw̵̳̘̗̑̒͝ā̷̼̝͕͜n̴̥̞̺̈͘͠ţ̵͍̄ ̸̥͍̥̪͂̂t̵̮̪̝͆̅͌͂h̴̥͙̽̆̚ȁ̷͖̟͛̈̐t̷͙̠͂̈́͝ ̷̨̟̞̹̿̾͑p̷̛̠̑ô̶̹͈̚͜w̵̽͌ͅȇ̵̠̔r̵̛̫.̴̻͕̀̌ ̵̜̥̘̆̃F̴͇̈ơ̸͎̺̄͗ř̸͉͕̟̹̓̇͠ ̵͍̦̻͎̆̔ḿ̸̝͍̗͒͘y̷̰̯͆͐̒̅ͅs̴͍͇̆͌e̶͕͎͈̰͗l̵̡̞̆f̵̙̣̽̊̊̿.̵̲̠͒͝"̴͎̬͕̥̉̓̕ ̸͙͘͜T̶͔̝̣̈͌ḥ̶ë̴̛͎͚̻̗́̉̔ ̷̢͉̫̈̀g̵̤͌̄r̴̢̮͔̕e̷̬̥̠̪̎̈́̚e̶̡̨̘͌̃͠d̴̰͙̔̀͠ ̴̛̟̞̗͚̍̾ä̸͙͓̝ͅn̵͉͑͋͠d̵̮͍̱͂̄̉̆ ̵̧͍̹̣̎̎͋͝ļ̸̏̍̑ȗ̶̧s̵̠͐͌t̵̞̱̺͋͒̐͌ ̵̯͘i̸̬̬͇̬̍̅͒̈́n̴̜͖̍͗͌ ̷̨̪̦͛̐̓̐ẗ̴̯́̒̓ḧ̶͖͈ì̵ͅs̵͇̥̦̓ ̷̨̺͓͍̏̐̕m̵̥͈̋̓͐á̵̡̔̈́n̵̛͙͠'̷̱͙̓s̴̪̺̺̲͋̔͠͠ ̷̝̙̄̔͗̓v̷͙͊̂̈́̿o̵̥̒̈́̆̿ͅi̵͉̋͌̂c̶̫͉̩̪̈́ĕ̸̹͇̱̑͐͘ ̵̿̈́ͅw̸̡̰̣̃̽͘ä̵̡͔̩̘́s̸̲̼̪̓͗͝ͅ ̷̢̥̫̈́f̷̧̖̍̓̇a̸̧͂r̴̢̠̋͛̎͝ ̸͇̜̟̔̅͆s̸͖̪͖̎͐̇c̵̙̈͑̓a̶͇̗͖̋̌̃ŗ̷͔̰͇͑i̵̡̘̺̺̿e̵̬̗̐̚r̸͉̻̗̫̆̌ ̴̪̍͘ţ̵̣͚̫͐h̵͚̪͎̃ã̵͚̓͘ṉ̶̆ ̸̰̤̖͌̄̈̉ͅą̶͕̜̟̍̓̂̓n̵̩̅̿y̷͙̐̐ ̷̗̼̖̿̓͝o̴̬͎̭̽̓͜t̴͗́̏ͅh̴͙̉͊͐͘e̸͈̺̿r̴̟̉͂̑̇ ̶̧̹͘ț̶̞̫̎͜i̵̡͈͙͑̌m̴͔̭̈́̉͂e̷̫͇͂̿̅̄ ̶̩͉̾̀͝h̴̦͍̱͋͆ḛ̸̙͍͌̑ͅ'̴̻͉͕̠̆̈́s̷͚̥̉͘͘ ̵̡̲̊̄͑ͅͅb̸͎̉ě̸̪e̷̛̲̞͚͂̇n̵̪͎̈́̎ ̸̛̬̝͂i̴̓͌̍̐ͅn̶͓̟̤̿̎͋͌ ̸̬͙̒̾͌̅w̵̨̛̤̘̮̿̎ǫ̵̜̥̻́r̴̮̟̀̌̈́ḽ̸̓̑̅̃d̸̝͉͐͜͝ ̵̢͍̾̑̃̈ͅe̶̠͈̐̎̐n̶̹͗̀̎͝ḑ̸̳̟̎ị̶̛̦͍̬̒̈n̶̬̬̏̀̆̿g̸̜͓̒̅͒͒ ̷̣͈̬͔͒̌̊ḑ̸̦̜̺̊̍͆í̸̪̩̝̩͑͌s̷͈̩̥͑̓̊̋a̸͍̞̒̕͘s̸̰̽̑͛̎t̴̢͙̰̑e̵̳̬̙͙͆͌ṛ̷̐̕s̶̡̝̰̫̏͋.̸͖́ ̵̬̔ ̸͍̼̅̚͝"̴̳͂N̶̼̻ͅȯ̶̠̽͆w̶͓̋ ̴̞̪̜̓̈̐̊A̶̫̓s̴̰̪͆ͅh̷̨̜͎̙͑̔.̷̺̦͙̒̈́̏ ̴̗̜̦͗͋̐̇N̷̡̠̺͋̚͝o̵̮̻̺̳͝ẁ̵͍̊ͅ ̸̨̺͎͗̅ͅG̶̼̒̆̊̃r̴̰͍̐͒e̵͔̙͎̋̿͒̋ͅn̸̟͉̯͛͝ḯ̴̧̢͕̓̽ͅñ̶̻̭͊̉͘j̶̹͉̎̈́̚͝a̷͔̮̗̎̈̒͘.̸̢̀͝͠ ̴̧̞̪̣̊̐͒͘Ȉ̷̫̥̼̺m̶̧̪̘͖̆ ̸̱̜̖̫͒ã̵̧̯͕̬͐l̸̜̾̈͊̕s̸͈͔̈́̕͠o̸̤̳̱̥̍ ̸̹̙̼̓̓̊g̴̰̃̃̾o̸̢͎͇͖͗̌i̵̬̟͍n̶̳̮̦̊͋̊g̷͍̺͓̮̒̒̕ ̸̰͎͇̰̄t̴̹̺͕̅ó̵̘̱̥ ̸͕̘̞̕c̴̝̼̒͆o̴̢̻̬͚̅͋̿͝n̵͙̟̉̆ṭ̸̩̇̄r̴̘̰̦͔̾ŏ̸̢̦̒l̴̠̖̗͑̀ ̷̡͍̠̠͒͒y̸̰͈͌͝ȍ̴̢̖̜̈́̉͘ͅȗ̶̦͉̩̜̏r̵̩̺̖̥̓̅͠ ̷̈́̌̆̐͜b̵͎̫̩̋̉̆o̸͓̙̖̥͠n̴̼̥̠͆̊̚͝d̴̫̖̍̍̿͝ ̶̭̥̌͊̆p̷̢̥̤͉̓͐̋ẖ̵̨̍̇e̴̫̘̅n̴͓̟̲̼̿̽ơ̴̘͜͜m̶̥̈́ͅͅẽ̴͇̩̐͘n̸̯̓̊͆͜ȏ̷̢̱̭n̴͓̓.̸͈͈͎̈́ ̶̺͒͠͠͠F̵͔̮͖͋̑̕͠ͅr̸̰͓̎̌o̴̢̙͇͒͆m̶̬̘͛ͅ ̶̞̅̎t̶̡͓̦̓h̵̋́͆̈́͜i̵̲͎̥͇̊ṡ̸̭͆̆ ̵̩̲̤̻̈́p̷̞̻͠ǫ̶̜̠̌̕͠ͅḭ̴̡̥̊ͅṋ̸̛̗̙̅̌ͅt̵̗̓ ̴̥̗͓͛o̸̧̜͊̽̐n̷̪̠͓̆̈̽͝,̴̥̥̜̋̌͝ ̵̙̱͒͜b̵̡͖̺͇̽̏͝ỏ̶̮̳̇̑̋t̴͔̣͘h̶̫̘͚̃̓̚ ̷͎̭̜̽ó̷̝͂̚f̸͎̹͍̟̈́ ̷͚͓̑̎͝ͅy̵̰̰͒̌̈̆ö̷͚̯̈́̈̈́u̴̯͈̭̠͝ ̶̡̲͖̈́w̸̤̫͚̑̕i̷͍͖̦̾̉͝l̷̥͉̦̠͠l̷̛̯̈́ ̸̱̣̫͒̄͝ä̶̠͎͓́͜n̷̻̥̭̩̏̍̄s̴͉͐͜ŵ̸͖̬̣̂ę̷͕̻̎̈́̄r̵͇̉͒ ̶̘̜̝̭̅ť̸̛̰̭̘̤o̵̫͚͘ ̶̗̽͋͜͠m̶̰̲̖̲͒̇̄e̷͚̊.̵̯͚͗"̶̡̳̝̺̍̈́͠ ̴̙̏͌_

**A surge of overprotective fury, he could see Greninja's shadow flitting through trees until he reached a lake and knelt down. He was looking at Ash with concern, a webbed hand is held up and then slowly Greninja rests it on his chest. Ash feels a hand on his chest as he is coached into relaxing. Pikachu is there, a voice whispers. You are safe, it calls as he feels blades of grass beneath his palm. His heart thunders in his chest/his heart beats slowly.**

* * *

"Brother?" Lillie calls,then nods to herself before turning to face Ash, hand upturned to present her brother. "Yes, this is my older brother, Gladion... Ash?" Pikachu growled, Bayleef had a vine wrapped around his elbow, he looked shaken as he took a step back. His skin had paled and his pupils shrunk to pin pricks.

He offered her a shaky smile and stood his ground when he saw her.

Lillie took in his shaky composure and then glanced down and saw Lycanroc on her brother's left side, clearly away from her. Ash had taken a step back in fear. And then he stood his ground because they'd made a promise.

Lillie looked down at her arms where Snowy rested and looked determinedly at Lycanroc.

> _"How about this..." he offered instead, seeing this as a way reach out to her. "Every time you get closer to touching a pokemon... the less steps I take back. And the less ... I retreat... the closer you get to a pokemon. Deal?" He said, she looked at his wavering hand, Ash shook it out nervously. She smiled and grasped his hand._
> 
> _"It's a deal." She agreed with a smile._

She edged closer, behind her Ash took a single step forward. Her brother watched them both in confusion. Lillie felt determination fill her as she looked to Lycanroc. 

She was going to do this. She was better than this trauma. She would be free!

She was going to repay Ash for all his kindness!

This fear that chained them would not rule them!

His arm outstretched to keep Lycanroc away from her.

* * *

Gladion eyes this Haole that his sister knows, well enough to cling to, stare at Gladion with a look.

Distrustful and scared in equal turns.

A look he sees in Lillie's eyes now as she takes a step closer to him with an outstretched hand.

The boy too takes a step closer, surrounded by Pokemon, looking so much like a scared child that he involuntarily drops his glare and looks away to ease some of that fear. He can see goosebumps break out on his sister's pale skin and grabs hold of her hand.

She flinches and jumps but determinedly looks him in the eyes. Gladion looks to Lycanroc and slowly pulls his hand back and watches the trembling hand draw closer.

He can smell a sweet scent, the bayleef is talking soothingly and the boy is edging closer with eyes narrowed in distrust.

Eyes flicking to Lillie with concern then back to Gladion with distrust, the Pikachu on his shoulder is crouched down on his shoulder watching him without blinking.

The Pikachu and Scraggy in his arms watch him impassively and occasionally demand attention.

Lillie is able to put a single finger on Lycanroc's snout before breaking out into a full body shiver and just freezes.

The boy is able to get within a foot of Gladion but is shaking and sweating, looking ready to pass out. They were both frightened, of very different things but both had bravely faced forward and moved despite the fear.

Seeing his sister like this. The face of his greatest failure and moment of ultimate weakness hurt. Gladion returned Lycanroc, grabbed hold of her hand. Clammy and shaking, he rubbed warmth into her arm as guilt threatened to consume him. The Haole behind her dropped to his knees, taking deep heaving breaths as he clung to his Bayleef. 

"You're okay. Both of you are okay." He stated softly. The look of fear aimed at him looked so familiar it hurt. The eye color was different, but the look. It was exactly the same.

> _"I can't touch Clefairy. Brother, i can't touch!" The tears in those pale blue eyes looked so confused and hurt. She threw herself into his arms and cried._
> 
> _She had no memory of that night._
> 
> _She did not know how badly Gladion had failed her._

Gladion watched the two shakily walk away. Pale and shaken, they continued to go through the motions of life even with all consuming fear weighing them down.

"You're both very brave. And... I'm such a coward." Gladion whispered to himself as he tugged a pokeball out of his pocket.

The failed project of Aether that was in his possession, never felt more like a heavy burden than right now.

* * *

Ash stood across from Hala, Bayleef at his side, Scraggy for once not in his arms but watching from beside Kukui-hakase. Pika!Mew had opted to watch from beside Tapu Koko, the sneaky Deity was watching from afar.

"Choose your first Pokemon." Ash removed his backpack and pulled Rowlet out, Rotom was buzzing around in excitement, eager to learn about the Grand Trial.

"Ok Rowlet, time to wake up." Rowlet chirped, flapping his wings as he shook himself awake. Ash gently pumped his arms thrice before Rowlet took off and soared around the area and took a battle stance.

"I see you've chosen to use Rowlet again." Ash feels uneasy under the Kahuna's suspicious gaze but nods all the same.

"That was amazing!!!! I've never seen anyone take on Tutu's Crabrawler with a Rowlet. And you didn't just take on Crabrawler, you won!!!" Ash stiffened as a boy around his age, maybe a year older appeared out of nowhere.

The boy was ranting and raving about Rowlet, Ash was shaking as he took a step back.

The boy didn't seem to notice as he grabbed Ash's hands in his.

His body jolted as a spark ran from his hand throughout his body.

It _burned._

"We have to have a battle! You're Rowlet against my Dartrix!" Ash broke out into a cold sweat, a shudder climbed up his spine.

_Lillie could hold Snowy. Lillie had touched Lycanroc._

"Pika!!!" Pikachu shouted jumping onto Ash's shoulder and then bounced off Hau's chest as he violently pushed him aside.

Kukui-hakase had made his way over, as had Hala but Kukui-hakase took charge and pulled the other boy away.

He bent down and spoke with him while Ash tried to steady his nerves.

His hands would not stop _shaking._

Bayleef wrapped a vine around his elbow and nudged his hip to make him move. Ash was walked to the edge of the platform and nudged into a sitting position.

He tucked his head between his legs and breathed. He could smell a sweet scent, a long tail looped around his chest and a small wet nose pressed against his temple.

"Mewwwww." Ash nods and take another breath. Something sharp and pointed rests against his shoulder and Ash knows he really needed to pull it together or Koko, already on edge over Hala, would not hesitate to use force against the boy.

**Concern. He could see the sky, a dark gray. He could hear rain and smell ozone. Light streaked across the sky. He could feel the roughness of bark beneath his hand, a voice asking if he needed anything. Ash opens his eyes seeing his knees/seeing his legs outstretched and feeling the rain on them.**

"I'm okay... it was just sudden." Ash shakily laughed, feeling his heart pounding in his chest.

"Hey, you okay? I'm sorry." Ash looked over his shoulder. The boy was standing about ten feet away, his hands were being wrung nervously as he watched Ash with an anxious look.

Somehow. It made him relax.

The boy was keeping his distance. He was letting Ash be.

"Yeah." The boy nods, taking a small step back, looking at Ash in askance.

Ash shrugs, looking back at his shoes to gather his composure.

"Hi, I'm Ash Ketchum from Pallet town. And these are my closest friends and partner. Bayleef, Mew, Scraggy, and Pikachu." The boy smiles, releasing two pokemon.

"I'm Hau, and these are my best friends, Dartrix and Raichu." Hau's smile fell slightly as he glanced at Ash with a worried look.

"I'm really sorry. I didn't know... and I shouldn't have just invaded your personal space even if I didn't know." He looked anxious and apologetic. Nothing at all like the bright excited teen from moments ago.

He felt so guilty.

"We could start over?" Ash offered hesitantly, feeling his skin crawl at the phantom feeling of hands on his. He shook his hands, trying to shake the feeling off. Nothing had happened. Nothing was wrong. He was safe dammit!

"Sure! We could meet up in a few days." Ash nods and the boy waves, a pained look in his eyes even as he smiles at Ash.

Ash never wanted to be the cause of someone else's pain. 


	7. But Then You Tenderly Saved Me From Myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: Monochrome Kiss - Amalee cover

Snowy was curious, getting into anything and everything. Yet Lillie still found her utterly adorable.

It was freeing, being able to touch Snowy without that feeling of dread curling in her stomach.

She and Ash still visited the pokemon center and then went to her home after school on alternating day. But her brother had started to make appearances. 

Never at home, or where Hobbes would pick her up.

But he would walk up to Lillie with his hands in his pocket. He would keep his distance from Ash, who always tensed at the sight of him.

"Was Rockruff your first pokemon? Or was that eevee?" Lillie asked as they sat in the lunch room at the pokemon center. Gladion looked down at his cup of juice and shook his head.

"Neither. I have another pokemon..." he fell into silence, Lillie let him be. Ash was struggling with his food, the fork trying to stab him in the face as he argued with Mew. Her brother had stared blankly at the Mew before sitting down beside her.

Completely ignoring Mew.

"I said I'm full!" Ash finally wrestled his hand down onto the table and released the fork. Lillie glanced down to see that he had eaten half of his plate. Lillie had yet to touch hers, Gladion reached over and grabbed her plate without a word and used her fork to separate the food so that it no longer touched.

"I don't know if that will help, you never liked when you're food touched." Lillie smiled, she hadn't ever noticed that.

Ash looked between them and looked down at his plate with a nauseous look. Gladion took his plate without a word and began eating. Ash rubbed his arm.

"Sorry." He apologized to them. Lillie shakes her head but her brother points a fork at him, not once looking because it made Ash nervous.

"You eat what you can. If you ate anymore then you'd just throw up, that'd be a waste. Its fine." Ash nodded, Pikachu huffed but seemed to agree with her brother.

"Hobbes should arrive in ten minutes to pick me up." Gladion shook his head and she nodded in understanding. 

This is how they passed the time. Every two days, on days when Lillie was volunteering in the pokemon center, her brother stopped by. Ash always stiffened at the sight of him but no longer backed away on instinct.

She also was making progress. She was able to stand a foot away from Pikachu! And she was able to instantly tell the difference between Pikachu and Mew. Ash had asked her if she knew anything about aura, but at her confused look, told her to pay it no mind.

Of course Lillie had not left it and researched aura.

That was how she came upon aura sensors. Not psychic and not aura users but they had abilities to sense and interact with pokemon.

Upon presenting her research to Ash, he looked at his hand and held it out to her with a smile, it was sad. When she grabbed hold of his hand, it felt like being wrapped up in a warm hug that would keep her safe. When he let go he told her, she shouldn't tell anyone about her ability. 

"Aura users were hunted to extinction. I've only met one and another two who were aura capable." Lillie looked down at her hands in confusion. Did that mean that her being able to feel what Ash felt, was his aura connecting to hers?

"Ash?" Ash looked at her hands to see them shaking, and looked down at his own shaking hands.

"You're more sensitive than the others, they hadn't been able to feel what i felt. Brock told me it was called empathy." Lillie thought back to how she was able to sense her brother's guilt before he'd left. She remembers the others surrounding her when Ash had first asked about her and the resulting feelings of hurt confusion. 

"It isn't normal to feel what others feel, is it?" She asked as her hands curled into loose fists.

"No." Ash looked away from her. "It took me a long time to realize that." Lillie bent down and pulled Snowy into her arms, curiosity filled her. She shook her head and pet the young vulpix.

Lillie watched Ash and Hobbes battle. He was only using Rowlet despite having Bayleef and Pikachu. And with Mew he said he would never ask the mythical to battle for him. He didn't want to take advantage of their friendship. It was honestly inspiring that Ash never took advantage of the fact that he was God Blessed.

Pikachu was cheering besides her, paws clenched as he excitedly pointed at Rowlet. Scraggy nodded, awe in his eyes.

"Now Rowlet! Death from above!" Lillie watched Rowlet use leafage, vanish from sight then, come down from the sky, twirling a peck at terminal velocity and slam right into oricorio. And Oricorio was down for the count. Ash jumped into the air with a cheer as he ran forward to Rowlet regardless of the fact that he was less than a foot away from Hobbes.

Lillie cheered and bent down to scoop Snowy into her arms. She laughed in delight before realizing that, in her arms, was Pikachu. Not Snowy.

Pikachu nuzzled her chin with a soft 'Chaaa.' Of contentment. Contentment that settled in her chest and sat warmly across her shoulders and she hugged the mouse closer.

"Miss Lillie..." Lillie looked up to see Hobbes with a proud smile, and tears in his eyes. Ash was beaming beside him, with Rowlet perched on his head.

"I knew you could do it." He laughed softly. "You're amazing." He complimented sincerely. 

* * *

Ash glanced nervously at Hau. The other teen was keeping his distance as they ate Malasadas, wobbuffet sitting between them with a cup of berry juice.

"Wob." He said pointedly and Ash took a bite of his Malasada, though it tasted like dust. He lowered the treat, eyes flicking over to Rowlet and Dartrix flying around each other. Scraggy nibbled at the Malasada, wobbuffet pointedly looked down at his hands and sipped his juice. Ash raised his hand, haltingly taking a bite and chewed slowly.

Wobbuffet stared.

"I can leave." Ash choked, the bread going down the wrong way. He shook his head, coughing into his fist.

"No! I just.... i... i thought i was hungry..." Ash trailed off, Hau looked sympathetic as he nodded. 

"So how do you know the Bewear Malasadas owners?" Ash glanced down at Wobbuffet, unobtrusively sitting between them on his lunch break.

Despite it being five in the evening.

"We go way back..." he said in lieu of actually responding. He didn't want to oust them as team rocket, Meowth was the only reason he'd figured them out. Even then, meowth had done that on purpose when he'd hesitated to reach forward.

"They're nice people... and they deserved so much better than what they were given. I'm... glad..." Ash tore the Malasada and fed it to Scraggy and Pika!Mew. "You're happier here, right?" Wobbuffet dipped his head then took a sip of his juice.

"Pikapi!" Ash looked up, Rowlet dove straight towards his bag and tucked himself in to sleep. Ash smiled fondly, the sun was setting, and Lillie had left almost two hours ago. He should probably head back to Kukui-hakase's house now.

"It's getting late. See you same time in two days?" Ash glances at his faintly trembling hand and recalls Lillie holding Pikachu in a tight embrace.

"Yeah!" He agreed, Hau smiled uncertainly and walked off.

"Wobbuffetwob." Ash hummed uncertainly, meowth sat down on the bench beside him.

"Yu're doin' better than ya were two weeks ago twerp." That's true, he can see how that lead to wobbuffet's proclamation that he's better off here in Alola like they were.

"Just give us a call if ya need ta." Ash grinned, accepting the business card.

"I still don't have a cellphone Meowth." Meowth scoffed and complained under his breath as he hopped off the bench.

"The doctor twerp had a phone, even that girlie in K̵͇̜͖̩̐̕a̷͚̬͉͠l̶̻̍̋̍̈́ȍ̶̪͉̤̬͗̚ş̸̐ had a phone." Ash's hands curled around his waist, trapping Scraggy to his stomach as he winced.

"I don't need one." Meowth frowned skeptically and sighed.

"Fine, than use that Professor's phone." Ash nods and the two rocket pokemon leave him to sit alone.

**Greninja pointedly nudges him about the phone. Ash nudges back that he doesn't need one when there is a perfectly serviceable phone at the kukui-hakase's house and the pokemon center. Greninja, exasperated, leaves him be.**

Ash was walking home when Tapu Koko dropped in from above. Ash huffed and veered off the path to a secluded area.

"Alright. First to stay down for the count of five, loses. Do we all agree?" Ash asked as he prepared to referee the match. He received two nods and raised his arms up, both pokemon tensed, he dropped his arms and dropped into a crouch as they violently slammed ito one another with a thunderous crackle. Winds tore his cap from his head and then silence rained once more. 

A whirring noise came from behind and he glanced back to see Hoopa emerge with a grin.

"Hey Hoopa." He greeted, his pokemon greeted the trickster before going back to watching the battle.

"Ashkan! Ooh! Is Pikan challenging Koko for his title?" Ash blinked, staring at the djinn trickster and shook his head. How does he come up with these absurd ideas?

"No. Pikachu and Koko are just testing eachother's strengths."

Koko's arms were crossed, Pikachu's silver white tail sparked as he pressed down on the arms. They threw one another back. Ash rose to his feet, cap casually dropped onto his head as the battling pokemon observed one another.

Ash caught something out of the corner of his eyes and turned to see Hala.

The Kahuna watched Tapu Koko and Pikachu battle with a contemplative frown. Scraggy was deposited into his arms by Bayleef, and then she inserted herself between them. Hoopa sat upon his shoulder with uncharacteristic serious look.

Hala radiated disapproval but ultimately left them alone with a warning glance. Ash released a sigh of relief just as Koko hit the ground.

"1! 2! 3!" Koko was up and twirling Pikachu around by the tail. 

Hoopa cheered Pikachu on.

Ash was carrying Pikachu as Rotom rattled off statics and moves.

"Pikachu is a very interesting pokemon." Rotom buzzed excitedly as he reviewed the footage of Pikachu using their contest moves to dazzle and trick Koko into submission. 

"Where did Pikachu learn to use those types of moves? Bzzt!" Ash scratched Pikachu under the chin and smiled fondly.

"Back in Hoenn and Sinnoh we entered pokemon contests. Contests needed a different skill set." Rotom looked up their previous contests as they entered Kukui-hakase's home. Ash paused when he saw that Kukui-hakase was not yet home.

Litten and Rockruff sniffed at the air and looked to him in confusion. His scent was old. Guess he wasn't done with work just yet.

"Kukui-hakase works long hours. Maybe I should make dinner tonight." Rotom shot him a sceptical look. Ash pouted at the instant reminder of his failure the past week.

"I can make simple things!" He protested, Rotom continued to stare pointedly at him. Ash was going to prove him wrong.

Ash let out a sigh of relief as he set the last pancake down. Then paused.

"This isn't dinner..." he slumped into his seat in defeat. Kukui-hakase wouldn't want to eat this. 

Ash didn't want to eat this. He poked at the pancakes forlornly. 

"I'm home! Oh, you made pancakes. I haven't had breakfast for dinner in years! Let me wash up-" and the Professor was gone as he disappeared down the hall.

Pikachu looked over at him then where Kukui-hakase had disappeared off to and shrugged. Ash huffed, let the matter drop and prodded his pancakes.

Brock made better pancakes. 

Cilan made better pancakes, though he only made them twice.

Clemont actually made pancakes once too. But they were different and squared. Didn't he call them waffles?

"Pikapi. Pikaaa?" Pikachu asked as he prodded Ash's cheek. Ash took a bite, it was like a clump of wet sand sat in his mouth. He swallowed, feeling a pit in his stomach form as Pikachu put his paw on Ash's hand and shook his head. 

"I'm sorry Pikachu." Pikachu once more shook his head, called bayleef over. She released a sweet scent, Rowlet awoke and flew at her and was restrained with a glare.

The nausea abated by the time Kukui-hakase came back with his hair loose and a towel draped over his shoulders.

"That bad huh?" He asked with a sympathetic look. Ash liked that about the man. He never pushed or looked worried about his lack of appetite. He felt worried but never visibly expressed it.

And if it was days were there were more physical activities at school he brought light snacks like crackers or had smoothies packed in a cooling bag.

He left them out, but Ash could tell this was something new he had started doing. The other students had been curious about the 'new snack table' Kukui-hakase had invited them all to take from. He never looked at Ash, never gestured and never made Ash feel as if he had done something wrong for not eating. He knows the Professor was actually worried. Could feel it in the air, taste it in the teas left out.

He overheard him once asking Hobbes if Ash had eaten, Lillie shooting him a concerned look. He didn't want to worry anyone.

But that's all he seemed to be capable of doing nowadays. 

"These are grea- is Pikachu supposed to be eating ketchup?" Ash looked to Pikachu and snickered. 

"I guess, Pikachu did win." Pikachu shot him a victory sign and filled a small bowl with ketchup and began to lap it up. Ash crossed his arms on the table and rested his head on his arms as he listened to Rotom give Kukui-hakase a recap of Ash's coordinator contests.

"You're a brilliant kid, you know that?" Kukui-hakase sounded amazed and proud. 

"Huh, guess you fell asleep." Ash dozed throughout Kukui-hakase's talk, catching snippets of conversation here and there. His worry and fear. A promise. A hand briefly tapping the top of his hat before he could hear the sound of running water.

The table vanished beneath him, he protested but a sweet scent had his protest dying. He was on his couch. Blankets over his shoulder, Litten purring on his hip, Pikachu on his pillow and Mew on his chest.

"Sweet dreams."

* * *

Kukui made his way down the ladder and shut off the lights so Ash could sleep in peace. It was very interesting how Mew took care to always lay Ash on his side when floating him with psychic after letting him briefly get used to the sensation. 

Kukui glanced down at his hand. Ash must be pretty lonely. He barely interacts with his classmates, and mostly spends time with Lillie at either the pokemon center or at her home. 

Kukui remembers when he was younger, being surrounded by pokemon. And yet he had still felt alone despite all the fun he had with them. It wasn't until he met Guzma and later Molayne that the loneliness had receded. 

"I'm going to help you." He swore to himself as he climbed into his bed.

Kukui and Ash were walking to school together for once. Ash shuffled after him with a yawn, Kukui felt for him. He was tired too.

_He had honestly not expected to be awoken by the Guardian Deity of Akala crashing through his door. Luckily it was unlocked or the door would have broken._

_Ash had sleepily told him to go back to sleep. And Kukui had until he was awoken by another crash several hours later. He found Ash on his back, asleep and half hanging off the couch. Rotom was taking a series of photos._

_"Ash took on Tapu Lele!" Rotom blurted out. Kukui blearily peered at Ash, asleep with not a single bruise, and in danger of hitting the ground face first, then to the Guardian Deity giggling mischievously with a trail of fairy dust. He pushed the thought aside and fixed Ash so that he was no longer hanging off the couch and sat down on the opposite couch to sleep._

"Tapu Lele's grounded." He mumbled sleepily, tripping over his feet. Kukui snagged him by his bag and set him on his feet, Ash stared at him wide eyed and Kukui backed away a few paces. He adjusted his hat, eyes nervously skittering around.

"It's okay." He said tersely, jaw clenched as he began to walk again. The previous peaceful atmosphere was now replaced by a tense filled one.

Though it dissipated unusually fast as little by little Ash moved closer to him.

"Did you really fight Tapu Lele?" Kukui asked, the question having been in the back of his thoughts since early this morning. Ash shrugs his shoulder nonchalantly. Then eyes Kukui as he steps closer.

"You just surprised me." He murmurs softly with a baleful glare that falls and gives way to a hesitatant smile.

Kukui returns the smile.

"I'm sorry all the same." Ash doesn't say anything as they reach the school gate where Lillie is already waiting for them.

"Alola Ash, Pikachu, Professor Kukui!" Ash waves and shifts midstep as Pikachu runs down his back and heads to Lillie. 

Kukui freezes in place, jaw dropping as Lillie crouches and opens her arm to Pikachu. Pikachu scampers into her hold and rubs his cheek to hers. She laughs, softly and without an ounce of fear. Ash smiles proudly.

"Lillie!!!" Mallow barrels into her with an excited cry and hugs her with tears in her eyes.

Kukui watched Ash's smile turn wistful, hugging Scraggy. He never looked more alone than now.

How does someone surrounded by so many pokemon look...

So lonely.

Kukui looked at his plans and wondered if he should revise them. Lillie was able to hold Pikachu now. And Ash was comfortable with pretty much any pokemon, but Snowy was more comfortable with him. He glanced at Pikachu, perched on Ash's shoulder and keeping watching.

No. He couldn't take Pikachu away from Ash.

Not when Pikachu was more important to Ash's health than a grade.

"Okay class, we're going to participate in a classroom activity that involves your pokemon. Everyone but Lillie and Ash, come pick a name from this bowl." He waited for each student to grab a name and then announced his plans.

"The name of the person that you picked, will be the person you exchange pokemon with for the weekend. Lillie and Ash will be exceptions to this rule but they will have a separate joint project."

He took Ash and Lillie aside and explained that their project would be about Alolan vulpix and Pikachu. They would make observations about each other's pokemon and if they could, try to get to know each other's pokemon without their owner nearby. Though he made sure to stress, that it was only, _if_ they were _able_ to handle it.

They nodded and sat beside each other with a notebook filled with both their handwriting. They both peered at it and spoke quietly. He's pretty sure he heard them mention Lillie's missing brother but they had hastily switched topics at Pikachu's pointed prodding. 

Kukui was walking up to his front porch when Rockruff darted into the house from where he'd been resting on the front porch. How odd.

He looks at the letter in his mailbox, another one with a scratched out sender address. There was a Kalosian name written on it though.

When he entered the house Lillie and Ash were seated at the table, a cup and plate in front of Ash who nervously held a fork in hand. Lillie looked equally nervous as she held a cup in her hands. Kukui said nothing, instead opting to greet them as he made his way to his room. He idly noticed the window above the loft was open. He slides the letter towards Ash, who smiles weakly at the letter.

"Don't forget to close the window Ash!" Kukui called, Ash called back an affirmation and he shut the door to his room.

Kukui wonders if Gladion had come over. Maybe he should have delayed his walk home by a few minutes.

He wonders how Gladion is doing.

Was the teenager doing alright on his own? What was he doing for schooling? Did he have anyone to turn to if he needed help?

Monday morning found Ash and Kukui once more walking to school together. This time Ash was not carrying any pokemon, aside from Scraggy and Rowlet in his bag. It was strange, he looked oddly bereft.

"And I'm telling you Rotom, Lillie would do great in contests! You saw how interested she was when Pikachu and i went through a routine."

"She does not show any inclination to training Snowy, how will she compete? Bzzt!" Ash sighs, rubbing his face.

"She's barely getting used to pokemon. When she is more used to Snowy, she'll start learning how to train her." Rotom looked sceptical but subsided and instead began going through the pokemon Ash had met recently to refresh his memory.

"You could make friends with the other kids." Kukui said, Ash looked at him in surprise before wrapping his hands around his biceps, trapping Scraggy who glanced up in concern. He shakes his head with a small laugh.

It hurt to hear. It sounded wrong, like shattered glass, not at all a happy sound.

"I'm okay with the friend I have now." He looked down and bit his lip. He was lying.

Not to Kukui, but to himself. Kukui couldn't help it, he just wanted that hurt look to vanish.

He reached over, rested his hand on Ash's head and gave it a few taps. It was all he could do.

Ash thankfully didn't jump or freeze. He uttered a small thanks instead.

* * *

Kukui-hakase called him downstairs, someone was on the phone for him. Ash hesitantly picked up the phone, wondering just who could be calling. He hadn't recieved any letters, and he had yet to check his email today.

It was Gary.

And he was pissed.

Ash listened to Gary rant about leaving and not telling him.

After maybe ten minutes he moved on to things that Ash had missed as if all was forgiven. He asked about the Guardian Deities of Alola.

Every few minutes he would ask after Ash's various pokemon, until he finally asked Ash how he was. When Ash answered honestly, Gary let him know that he was available any time and then hung up.

Leaving Ash to stare at the phone. Kukui-hakase leaned back, shooting him a look of bemusement, having heard the initial tirade.

"Everything okay?" Ash gently set the phone back in its cradle and made his way over to Kukui-hakase, throwing himself into the chair beside him.

"Fine. Just Gary being Gary, and I have to submit my notes over to Professor Oak. Can I borrow your computer?" Kukui-hakase rapidly types something then sends off a few emails and moves so Ash can access his computer.

Ash had Rotom take photos of his journal entries and his photos of the Guardians were scanned. Everything was uploaded and an email was written that briefly summarized everything. Along with specific times that Ash could be contacted, having both Kanto and Alola's time zones.

* * *

Ash was very efficient. 

"I'll be done in ten minutes, i have to submit a new article to Gary, so he can send it from Sinnoh under my pen name." Kukui was honored that Ash was allowing him to read over his shoulder.

Then he was absolutely floored.

What he had written was a comprehensive analysis of the mythical pokemon Mew. Sketches drawn by Ash and by another individual were attached and Kukui suddenly recalls Ash saying Mew didn't like photos.

Ash was fully concentrated on his work. He likely didn't notice that Kukui was no longer peering over his shoulder. Kukui was seated directly beside him, offering a few pointers.

Telling him about passive voice, helped him spruce up his hypothesis. Was his sounding board on wording Mew's action without making it seem as if Ash owned Mew. Because he didn't, in fact it was the other way around.

Who knew people could be kept by pokemon too.

"Bewear caught Jessie, James, Meowth and Wobbuffet. Its not that uncommon." Ash stated blandly, Kukui hadn't been aware that he had spoken outloud. Ash didn't seem to mind their closeness now that he was adding the finishing touches to his article. He emailed it to Gary Oak and Samuel Oak, then had it CC'd to many pokemon Professors. He hesitated briefly over Augustine Sycamore before glancing up at him from the corner of his eye and adding the name.

"Did you want a copy too?" Kukui nodded, typing in his email address as Ash leaned back. He sent off the email and logged off various sites before stretching his arms over his head and climbing to his feet.

"Thanks for the help." He ambled off to look at the Luvdisc. He pulls two letters from his pocketz Pikachu scrambles up onto his shoulder as he opens them.

He can see a nostalgic smile reflected off the aquarium.


	8. We'll Take Our Scars And Make 'Em Stars, Let Them Shine Up In The Sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: let it out- amalee cover. Fma ending  
> 

Gladion watched the Kantonese teen coax his sister into reaching out to touch Mew.

Each time she flinched back he would hug Mew to his chest and whisper that she was so brave. Gladion looked at the sand, and the umbrella erected above them. He caressed the warm blanket underneath them, a picture of a hand stitched Pikachu sat directly beneath his hand.

"Okay, again." Gladion could feel her determination as she held her clenched fist at shoulder height. She lowered one hand, the other shaking. Gladion reached forward, gently grasping her closed fist and offered a comforting squeeze. She glances at him, smiles gratefully then squeaks and throws herself into his arms and lap as she touched Mew's head.

She laughed nervously, hands grasping tightly at her dress. Gladion looked at Ash, gauging his reaction.

Ash eyes Lillie with a fond look, his eyes glance over at him, they no longer look distrustful. He still seems weary, and afraid but it's not outright distrust anymore.

They're both distracted by Rockruff and Lycanroc battling. Ash looks over at him, holding Mew closer in a subconscious way that screams he was uncomfortable and more than a little frightened. 

"Want to have a pokemon battle?" Gladion agrees.

> ~~_"A battle between trainers is not just a battle. Its a clash of wills. An exchange of hearts. The more you pour yourself into the battle, the more you are able to learn who your opponent really is. Its how you come to learn **Who** you are."_ ~~

As he stands across from Ash, Lillie sitting a little ways away on a blanket with an umbrella to shelter her, Gladion prepares to have a battle with a boy who has done so much for his sister.

"Lycanroc!" He calls out, Ash is no longer holding Mew. In fact. He stands confidently before Gladion. 

He can tell, this is who Ash really is. Behind all the trauma, he is a confident trainer. 

"Let's go Rockruff." 

Despite their loss, Ash and Rockruff are in good spirits. Gladion watches Lycanroc pet Rockruff and looks to Ash, who watches fondly. Gladion walks closer and holds out his hand, Ash freezes, then slowly extends his hand.

Tension along his shoulders drops as he looks down at their hands. He looks visibly confused. His other hand grabbing hold of Gladion's, Pikachu is suddenly sitting on his shoulder.

They exchange looks, then Ash let's go and takes a step back, looking at his hands as if they were alien to him.

He slowly opens and closes them, turns them back and forth with a small frown.

Ash slowly reaches out again, Gladion can see Lillie approaching them from the side. She looks excited.

His hand closes around Gladion's outstretched hand and he gives it a small squeeze.

Then.

He smiles.

It's barely there, hidden beneath the rim of his hat, but it's full of such joy.

"You're amazing." Slipped out out Gladion's mouth, he flushed when he saw Ash and Lillie look at him.

"I should get going." Gladion says as he attempts to save face. Though he doesn't actually move until Ash let's go. 

Gladion frowns as he passes a shovel in the ground.

* * *

Ash was pale as a ghost, his bayleef leading him into the house with a vine wrapped around his elbow, sweet scent overpowering his sense of smell with its strength. Pikachu was sitting a top his head, petting his head and chirping, rowlet on his shoulder cooing as he preened Ash's hair. Litten and Rockruff were practically tripping over Ash's heels with how close they walked.

Mew was carrying Ash's hat and staring. Lillie, Kiawe, Lana, Mallow and Sophocles were at the door with looks of fear and worry on each of their faces.

"What happened?' Kukui asked, Ash collapsed onto the couch, shaking from head to toe with Scraggy worriedly prodding his chest. "There.... there was a sandygast and it evolved into passoland..." Kiawe started. Kukui could feel himself breakout into a cold sweat as he whirled around.  
_"oh no."_ he muttered, Ash was barely even breathing, he was in shock.

Had to be.

"I've got this, you kids can go home." Kukui said as he hurried to his kitchen to make a warm broth, tea, and then rummaged through his drawers for the vial of epsom salt that he then poured into a small bowl of hot water with a rag.

He sat across from Ash, covering him with a blanket, stepping back at Pikachu's pointed look, then passed the warm rag to Bayleef to place along Ash's neck. He brought tea and the broth once Ash began to show some signs of awareness.

  
Ash sipped slowly at the broth, regaining his color little by little.

  
The tea steadied his shaking hands. 

  
"Can... I...." Ash trailed off, fingers twitching as he looked away from Kukui. Kukui sat down on the floor, back to the sofa. Ash flopped down onto his side, his head resting on Kukui's shoulder.

  
They sat in silence. 

  
It was peaceful.

_"I was scared."_ He whispered, voice muffled as he curled up and hugged a pillow to his chest. Kukui felt his heart squeeze, but pointedly did not speak. Ash needed someone to listen to him, not tell him how to feel. It doesn't matter that it was over, he was allowed to continue feeling unsafe and afraid.

Kukui tilted his head so that it rested against Ash's and sat quietly. 

He wonders if this is okay.

For now, Ash doesn't push him away.

He quietly revels in this feeling.

Kukui knew the instant Ash fell asleep. He didn't move though, choosing to remain where he was now that Ash felt safe enough to actually lean on Kukui in a time of need. Kukui wouldn't jeopardize that.

He had a thesis to work on, and about several dozen emails that he had to urgently respond to, but this was far more important. 

* * *

Ash jumped, startled at the sight of Kukui-hakase being so close. Kukui-hakase hit the floor with a groan, mumbled something unintelligible then snored softly. 

Ash shivered, then shook himself.

He reached down, pulled him into a sitting position and then slipped off the couch. He lifted Kukui-hakase onto his back and slowly rose to his feet. He continued snoozing, Ash sighed in relief and made his way to Kukui-hakase's room. He deposited him into bed and removed his hat, glasses, shoes and then struggled to remove the labcoat.

Then, in an instant, the room spun wildly out of control. Ash's back was on the mattress and he was staring at the ceiling. He glanced down at the arm across his chest, then looked up as far as he could to see Kukui-hakase sleeping peacefully.

"What..." Ash felt safe. And it was warm.

There was a ringing noise. No. It was a chime? Ash blearily rubbed his eyes, flinching when he realized there was an arm around his chest. A chest was pressed to his back, but the feelings of unease, discomfort and fear did not come. He was a little nervous, but it was bearable.

Ash slipped out of bed, glancing at the sleeping Professor with confusion as the man huffed and curled around his pillow instead. Ash stumbled out of the room, yawning tiredly. 

"Huh? Lele?" The Guardian bent down and inspected him with a critical gaze.

The Guardian beckoned him to follow, Ash did after writing a note and leaving it for Kukui-hakase to see if he awoke and Ash hadn't returned.

Ash was taken to an island, devoid of human life. All the pokemon were sleeping aside from a few nocturnal ones. He was flown over a lake, the moon reflected clearly over it.

It was peaceful.

**Ash closed his eyes, sharing this tranquil sight. Greninja hummed sleepily. Feelings of contentment unfurled in his chest.**

Almost magical in its serenity.

Tapu Lele set him down, he called out his pokemon, each one exploring the area. Pikachu stared at Lele with bright eyes.

"Pika." He said the gratitude in his voice audible. 

"Yeah, thanks." Ash whispered, not wanting to break the tranquility. It was, like coming home.

He hears a distorted cry. The water ripples, a portal opens and Giratina pops out of the lake. It gives a happy rumble at the sight of him.

Ash found out the island was a so called treasure island. A woman had seen him swimming to Mele Mele from the island had asked him if he had found treasure, Ash had simply responded that he had found something better. She had smiled, then told him if he wanted, he could borrow her canoe to reach the island whenever he wanted.

Ash was thankful that his clothes had dried on the walk over, he really didn't want to step inside with wet clothes and worry Kukui-hakase.

"Morning." Ash blinked at the sight of all the students gathered in their home and stepped back out for a second. He stepped back in. Nope. Everyone really was here.

"Uh, morning?" He questioned with a curious look. Kukui-hakase looked away from his bowl of cereal to nod at him. Lillie was reading something, practically vibrating in excitement. 

"They released a new article for Poke geographics! It's on Mew!" Ash did not look at Kukui-hakase, and Kukui-hakase very pointedly did not look at him. Ash felt though, that this was a dead give away as Lillie honed in on him like Mighteyena to prey.

"Oh, well, look at the time." Ash luckily hadn't left the door way so he simply stepped back out and let the door swing shut.

"Stop right there mister!" Ash winced as the door closed in Lillie's face.

"Sorry." He said slowly as he opened the door. Lillie rubbed her nose with tears in her eyes, while the other hand grabbed his wrist. She paused with a look of surprise and he instantly pulled his arm back and stuffed his hands into his pocket. She looked sad, and before she could apologize Ash shook his head.

She bit her lip, nodded and then stepped back.

Ash followed her inside and accepted the bowl of cereal pushed his way. Kukui-hakase had a look of instant regret, Ash looked at the cereal but nothing seemed wrong with eat. He took a sip of the milk but it was fresh. Ash glanced at him but Kukui-hakase had his face in his hands. Ash decided to leave him be.

"Ashley K. Is a well known researcher, given votes of confidence by regional Professors from Kanto to K̷̘̬̮͉̲̞͐̎͠͝ą̵̯͚̚͜l̸͔͆̕ö̶̘̥̞̝̭̰́̔͊͗s̵̹̠̫̉̓́͂. And they recently covered Mew, which you have with you. And i know you've been a research assistant through all those regions." Lillie had a gleam in her eyes as she showed the picture of a Butterfree with a yellow scarf that was the profile picture for Ashley. 

"Are you Ashley K.?" Ash sighed, scratched his nose and slurped his milk. Pikachu took that as his cue and sneezed lightning at the tv.

"Oh no! I'll pay to fix that!" Ash said as he grabbed Pikachu and made his great escape.

"A field trip? To Kiawe's home island?" Ash felt butterfree in his belly. The same way he did whenever he went on a new journey. Though it was tempered by doubt lurking in his mind.

**Peace. Strength of will, courage. Promise.**

Ash very reluctantly agreed to the field trip and when school let out, he and Lillie once more made their way to the beach and met Gladion. 

The older teen no longer made him nervous. And slowly Ash was beginning to think of him as a friend.

"Brother, we'll be going to Akala island this weekend." Gladion paused mid bite and looked over at them. His gaze rested on Snowy and Pikachu for a moment before he turned away to look out at the ocean.

"What a coincidence, I'm going to be spending the next four days over there." Lillie looked excited by the prospect, but Ash once more felt doubt. Gladion smiled softly at Lillie, quirking a brow at him with that same soft smile and he felt some tension melt away.

He could do this.

Ash didn't know how to feel about Kahuna Olivia. She was very direct. Had more than once gotten to close to him and had to brushed aside by Bayleef or even Pikachu. Scraggy pulled out scary face after scary face and tried to headbutt her

She was wise. And knowledgeable. 

And she seemed to know that the Pikachu on his shoulder was not a Pikachu. She asked pointed questions about the Guardian Deities. About the other mythical and legendaries he'd met.

She never asked when he was surrounded by his classmates. And it served to further alienate him when they noticed how much time he spent with her. In the end he chose to get away during the challenge she presented. Though he still gathered the items requested, he could never leave a task unfinished. Litten enjoyed spending time with the expressive stoutland that trotted beside them.

Ash had not expected Lele to lead him to the Akala Island totem pokemon. The shards that he'd collected were put in a satchel on Stoutland's side and the pokemon told him to return in two days time. So Ash returned, passing over the colorful shards and opted to sit in the barn with the Stoutland for the rest of the time.

Exactly two days later Ash was told to find ingredients for curry. He decided to finish his task before meeting the totem pokemon. 

Ash had not expected a new z crystal and he had not expected Lurantis to escort him out of the forest when he ended up getting disoriented and fainted after their battle. Ash had tried to assure the pokemon that he'd been a little careless and needed to eat, the pokemon had then seen fit to guide him to a place where berries grew. Urging him to eat.

His stomach rumbled and even though he did not feel hungry he ate. He did not feel nauseous and he felt at peace here.

"I'll take better care of myself. Passoland brought back some bad memories, but I should not have let it affect me this badly." Lurantis nodded, nudging him to continue eating.

In the end Ash ended up having Bayleef make a small basket out of her leaves and vines to carry the berries gifted to him.

Ash felt worry gnawing at him. He pushed aside his fear of the Kahuna that didn't seem to understand his need for boundaries. He looked at Rockruff, angry and then afraid.

So Ash smiled.

He let Rockruff know he was on his side regardless of what happened.

They won. They had beaten the grand trial of Akala island.

Tapu Lele passed by to congratulate them.

The worry sat heavily across his shoulders.

* * *

Gladion was huffing as his hands rested against his knees. He stood up and glanced around, Lycanroc was nowhere to be seen, Umbreon had darted off into the shadows leaving him alone.

"Rockruff! Rockruff please come out!" Gladion turned and ran to the voice. Let him be wrong. Let him be wrong!

Tapu Lele didn't just grievously wound Ash's Rockruff. Lycanroc was mistaken.

"Chukachu!!" Pikachu called out just as Gladion burst out of the brush. Ash was facing him with his hands clenched, held in a strange fighting position, a look of fear and shock on his face.

"Gladion?" He shook his head and stumbled forward. "I can't find Rockruff. I think he's badly hurt." Ash looked guilty, Gladion carefully reached out and set his hand on Ash's arm.

"This is normal for Rockruff to up and leave when it comes time to evolve, but I'll help you look." Gladion didn't say that he also thought the puppy was injured, he didn't have to. His face said it all.

When the sun began to rise Gladion forced Ash to call it a night and get rest. That he would keep looking, his umbreon having returned to aid him. Once Ash agreed, reluctantly turning to head back, Gladion waited until he was long gone before he called out to Null and set about resuming his search.

Gladion did not the path they were taking. It was a steep hill, and he could see a crumbled ledge. He returned Null and sent umbreon ahead as feelings of urgency over took him.

Gladion burst through the brush and saw his Lycanroc fall down to Tapu Lele's kiss drain. Gladion could see Ash and ran forward, seeing the determination in his eyes as he dove for his Rockruff. Gladion skidded to a stop before the younger teen and held his arms out to stop the Guardian Deity from moving further.

They pressed their lips to his cheek. His limbs felt weak. A gray haze entered the edges of his vision as the world spun.

He began to lose all feeling in his limbs.

He could see Ash, he look surprised and worried, Gladion reached out a hand.

He had to help him.

He didn't deserve to hurt anymore.

The world faded to black.

There was a hand on his shoulder, prodding hesitantly at his cheek. He could feel himself being lifted up, there was a steady murmur in his ear. Something tugged at his sleeve, something cold pressed against his temple. There was something important he was forgetting.

 _Someone_ important. 

He was just so _tired._

Maybe he'll remember if he rests some more.

He felt weak. This feels like that time he had the flu for the first time.

"You really did a number on yourself kid. And you're supposed to be the smart one." Oh. He knows this voice. "What on earth possessed you to take on Tapu Lele? Didn't i warn you they were dangerous?" There was recrimination in that voice, that sounded wrong. They shouldn't sound like this over Gladion's mistake.

"You're lucky i came to Akala island or you'd end up back with your mother, We're cutting it pretty close." That was a relief. He didn't want to go back. He pried open his eyes, but it was as if they were individually weighed down.

He could see the frown of concern etched across his face. Gladion hadn't seen him this worried since he was a small child.

Gray eyes looked down at him, white hair standing out in the moonlight.

"Go back to sleep kid, we got ya." He fell asleep to the soft rhythmic thumping beneath his ear and the sounds of Team Skull causing chaos.

* * *

Kukui felt his heart leap into his throat as Ash dove for his Rockruff after Tapu Lele kissed drained two Lycanroc and Pikachu. He was held back from running forward by Olivia but Gladion burst out of the thicket. Took one look at his downed Lycanroc, it had to be his if the other was Olivia's, and dove forward. He slid to a stop before Ash and spread his arms out as if to stop Tapu Lele. The Deity didn't even slow down and kiss drained him. 

He watched as pale skin became a washed out gray as the teen hit the ground. What was he going to tell Lillie? That he'd seen her missing brother only for him to be kiss drained by a Guardian Deity?

He watched Gladion stretch his hand out towards the pokemon and Ash before his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he passed out. 

Seconds after Ash was kiss drained, he struggled briefly to remain aware but slumped over onto his side. And then Rockruff was finally healed.

The puppy was barking happily, nudging Ash until the boy dazedly opened his eyes. His smile was small and content as he reached out to hold the puppy. He whispered something, he couldn't hear but as he was let go he made his way over to hear Ash thank Tapu Lele.

At least until Rockruff seemed to say something and the content look vanished as Mew appeared and held the Guardian with psychic as Ash launched a fist directly at the Guardian's face.

Olivia gasped as the Deity hit the ground.

"That's all I'm doing because you healed Rockruff." He huffed indignantly as he stumbled over and lifted the Deity up. Tapu Lele looked contrite. Mew was giggling as the mythical flew onto Ash's hat.

Ash turned back looking for Pikachu and looked pale as he stumbled forward just as Kukui reached Gladion and sat him up. Ash tentatively prods the washed out cheek, flinching back at the moan released. Kukui wanted to tell Ash that Gladion meant no harm, but that meant very little when Ash still had trouble trusting him. Instead he opted to gather Gladion into his arms just as Lycanroc midnight form nosed at his trainer, he showed signs of stirring but ultimately did nothing.

Kukui was so entranced by making sure that Gladion was okay that he nearly missed Rockruff evolve. He evolved into a new form at the flash of green right as the sun met the horizon. 

Ash fell to his knees before his pokemon and reached out with a hesitatant hand. When he met no resistance, he threw himself forward into a hug.

"Congratulations Lycanroc!" Ash was elated, his pokemon were all celebrating.

It was as if he hadn't a care in the world. Kukui was just relieved he had no ill effects from the kiss drain. He glanced down at Gladion, Olivia pressed to fingers to his neck with a hum.

"Best get him to my place. We can contact his mother from there." Kukui nodded, catching the contemplative look she shot Ash. Ash seemed aware as he shifted into fully hugging Lycanroc, his hands buried in the depths of the fur the way it had once with a Stoutland. 

The look in his eyes. It scared him.

Dark and filled with unspeakable things, Ash, for all his bravery today, was still a frightened and traumatized child.

Kukui shifted so that he covered Ash, causally hefting Gladion in his arms as if that was the only reason for the shift.

Kukui watches as Mew effortlessly glides across Ash's shoulders as if they hadn't just disappeared a few hours ago when Gladion went missing. Ash squinted at Mew with a hum but ultimately remained silent as he focused on Lycanroc. Quietly praising him, brushing his fur, giving him scratches behind the ears and accepting affectionate rubs from the excitable pokemon. 

As they set sail back to Mele Mele Kukui couldn't help but wonder what else Ash had in store for them.


	9. Remember It's Just Natural That We'll Be There If You Need Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: might+U - makayla phillips

Kukui waved the kids off, he prayed to Tapu Bulu for protection and peace over the kids' camping trip. After the mishaps on Akala island, they all deserved a break. And he needed time to figure out just how to tell Lillie that he'd seen her brother.

Not just seen, but _watched_ him get kiss drained and then not even two hours later vanished into thin air. What a time for team Skull to get active and cause such a ruckus.

It was actually kind of lonely without Ash. Without his pokemon.

It was quiet without the Guardian Deities crashing by. Hala hadn't said anything about Ash's status as God blessed but he could see heads turning when Ash was in town.

Rumors were spreading, nothing malicious yet. But Kukui knew, given time, and some innocent misunderstanding from Ash, it would turn. Especially since Tapu Fini had emerged after nearly 27 years of self imposed isolation.

Kukui didn't even have time to say welcome back before Ash was wrapped around his waist. Cheek pressed to Kukui's chest as he heaved a content little sigh. Kukui froze hands automatically moving to return the hug before forcefully raising his hands when he caught sight of Pikachu on the floor. Pikachu didn't shoot him a warning look for once, but Kukui would not force Ash into any situation that he did not want or feel comfortable with.

Ash was healing. Kukui would not be the cause for him to regress.

Kukui kept his arms up, not wanting to frighten Ash, who was _hugging_ him. Ash let go and hastily back pedaled with a blush staining his cheeks. He rubbed his arms, smiling awkwardly, eyes flitting from side to side.

"Sorry." He mumbled and skirted past Kukui to enter the home. Kukui glanced down at Mew when the mythical draped itself across his shoulders.

"I'm guessing you enjoyed camping?" Ash was rooting through his bag and emptying it. He gave an absent minded nod, as he muttered under his breath.

"We had an encounter with a morelull! And Ash put himself in needless danger! Bzzt!" Kukui took a deep breath, let it out and peered over at Ash. His shoulders were hunched, and he was already looking at Kukui with a stubborn look.

It wasn't Kukui's place to _worry_ or _demand,_ Ash made _that_ perfectly clear.

He could syill have those feelings, but he could not express them verbally.

"I was just about to get started on lunch if you're up for it." He said instead, Ash relaxed as he looked thoughtfully at his shoes. He shrugged in reply and set his dishes in the sink and proceeded to wash them. Kukui patiently waited for him to exit the kitchen and set about making stir fry while Ash took a seat at the table behind him.

Silence filled the air, but Kukui didn't push.

He waited.

Living with Ash had taught him the value of patience and distance. He had admittedly been out of practice with it for awhile but he was a fast learner.

"Morlull... needed help... and if it was me..." Ash haltingly began. "I can take it. The others wouldn't have been able to take it." Kukui hummed in acknowledgement, checking to see if the pan had heated.

"I'm fine... I'm... actually hungry still." Kukui was almost thankful to the morlull if they jump started his appetite. "Extra serving coming right up then." There was a hearfelt agreement coming from Pikachu. At least they were on the same side when it came to taking care of Ash.

He listened as Ash regaled him with a play by play of the encounter with the Morelull and then at the end watching the forest light up. He said it reminded him of something beautiful he'd seen back in another region.

And that it had actually helped him. 

He admitted in a hoarse whisper that he'd allowed a horrible experience to negatively impact all of his fonder memories.

And out of fear...

"Because I was so _afraid,_ I didn't look back." Ash lowered his fork, shame faced. "There were many more _**good**_ memories. So many _wonderful_ things, and I let _him_ **_ruin it._** _"_ Ash looked morose as he poked at his meal, Kukui didn't want Ash to go back to not eating.

To wallowing. 

"Ash, can you please look at me?" Kukui asked gently, lowering his head slightly to peer at him. Ash reluctantly met his gaze, his eyes were swimming with guilt and sorrow.

"You didn't let him ruin anything. You were hurt." Kukui slowly reaches towards Ash then stills and lays his palm on the table, his touch was still not something Ash accepted.

Maybe one day.

_Hopefully._

"The kind of pain you suffered, that sticks with you. Through good and bad moments and colors the rest of your life. But given time," Ash reached out and aligned his hand opposite of Kukui's, mere centimeters separated them but Kukui did not push.

~~_His hand was so small compared to Kukui's. So small to have known suffering such as this._ ~~

"You heal and you'll be able to see past the fear. You'll be able to push it aside, I _know_ it's hard now." Kukui paused as Ash's pokemon gathered around them. Kukui smiled, Mew once more lazily encircled his shoulders.

"You've come so far from that boy I met in Kanto." Ash bit his lip, eyes watering as he dipped his head so Kukui could no longer see his expression over the brim of his cap.

 _"Thank you."_ He whispered tearfully, Pikachu equally teary eyed at his side looked at Kukui with gratitude. 

Kukui watched Ash train with Lycanroc. Getting him used to his larger form. Going back to the basics, so to speak. He hadn't once attempted to use the new z crystal he had earned, instead flapping his hand in the air as if it were inconsequential to making sure Lycanroc knew himself as he was now.

It was always eye opening to see how much Ash put into raising and training his pokemon. Not just his pokemon, they could be wild pokemon and he would still drop everything to help.

Kukui watched Ash flit around the store, looking at everything. Scraggy in his bag along with Rowlet Litten walking alongside Lycanroc at Ash's right while Bayleef and Pikachu walked on his left. He had two different brands of poketreats in hand and was reading the backs. He huffed, glancing at his pokemon then back at the boxes as he muttered something under his breath.

"Need any help?" An employee asked, Ash flinched hard, then stiffened and turned his head to stare at the employee like a deerling in headlights. He stiffly shook his head and shoved the boxes back before practically ramming into Kukui's side. Scrambling to push him in the direction of the employee while he hid behind him. Kukui allowed it, and faced the employee.

"We've got everything handled, thank you." The employee looked apologetic as he nodded and moved off to see if anyone else needed help. Kukui froze as he realized that Ash was still holding onto the back of his labcoat. He waited, stuttered gasps coming from behind him.

Ash chuckled nervously as he stepped out from behind Kukui. His hands were trembling as Scraggy settled into his arms. Kukui made his way over to the poketreats to grab the ones he knew his Incenroar loved. And then he grabbed a few other ones that he could use as treats for the local wild pokemon he studied. Ash pointedly did not reach out but he was staring hard at two boxes.

"Is there something wrong with the ingredients? I can assure you that they only sell safe pokemon treats here." Kukui said, Ash flinched back a little then shook his head. He hummed, shuffled his feet before stepping so that he was closer to Kukui as he pointed at one of the two boxes.

"Rowlet can't have this. Pikachu doesn't like this one either, but it has more calcium in it than this one. But Brock said that this one isn't flying type friendly. But isn't Rowlet's primary grass and secondary flying? Does it still count?" Ash broke off muttering and Kukui was stunned.

He knew Ash was smart. That he was a research assistant, for many Professors of various regions. That he had published articles in pokenews and poke geographics.

But just this morning Ash walked into the door and flooded the laundry room.

"Well, sometimes it's better to be safe than sorry. Besides they have supplements for pokemon too." Ash nods and grabs three boxes and sets them into the cart. Catching a can out the air that Mew dropped. He read it over with a thoughtful look then modded and set it in the cart. Mew dropped down and changed into a Pikachu, then sat upon Ash's head. In full view of several other shoppers.

Ash didn't seem to notice as he was looking at several grooming brushes. Kukui sighed, his charge could be so paranoid.

And so _oblivious._

* * *

Ash sat down as Kukui-hakase ordered Malasadas for them. Hau popped up and seemed to remember that Ash was better with pokemom as he had his Alolan Raichu sit beside Ash to keep the space between them.

"I heard you won your trial on Akala island, and beat the record for fastest trial taken in just two days." Ash blinked, peering at Hau from Lycanroc's fur that he was grooming. Hau was smiling pleasantly, holding out a Malasada. Ash set the brush down and slowly reached out to grab it. His heart wasn't in his throat and he barely shook at the closeness.

He counted that as a win.

"What was the previous fastest?" Hau grinned, holding up a finger.

"My friend Gladion. It took four days. Usually to take a grand trial it takes anywhere from one week to one month." Ash was surprised but at the same time, he could see Hau calling Gladion friend even if he didn't accept the title. Ash wonders what he is to Gladion.

"And you also took on Tutu's grand trial in just under five days." Ash had forgotten that. So much had happened that week.

"And one of your pokemon evolved too!" Ash chews on his Malasada, offering piece by piece to his other pokemon.

"Tapu Lele helped. _Aftermakingamessinthefirstplace._ " Ash muttered the last part in a huff. Next time Lele causes another one of his pokemon harm he won't go so easy.

"You make the Kahunas nervous, did you know that?" Ash pointed at himself in confusion. Hau nodded. 

"There hasn't been this much activity from the Guardian Deities... like ever. And there hasn't been this much trials given in just two months time." Ash thought back to his trials, then the one that Lana had undergone as he mucked around with some of the pokemon on the island and Stoutland. 

"And i heard that Tapu Fini was seen, Tapu Fini has been missing for the past 27 years!" Ash remembers the looks Hala and Olivia gave him. It made him shudder.

"Ah, no. I didn't mean anything bad by it." Hau backtracked with his palms up. Ash looked away, Mew floated upside down above his lap with a curious look. Ash shakes his head, offering Scraggy a head pat.

"They talk about me then." He states, Hau seems to read something in his expression as he looks upset.

"Not in a bad way. It's just that... well... its not everyday the Guardian Deities pick a human to casually hang around. More like it happened once and that person was branded a heretic for committing blasphemy against the Guardian Deity." Ash hugged Scraggy close. They had attacked a person? And the person was blamed?! Something like this usually lead to a hunt for the pokemon, not for the human being being cast out of society. 

Who ever had taken the blame for some mythical's rage, had to be hurt and alone. Feeling alienated by the actions of some God's whims. To be made to feel as if _you_ were the problem...

It was as if someone had driven a stake to his heart and he felt hurt in his belly. He, better than anyone, knew the whims of mythical and legendary pokemon, were not the actions of your typical pokemon. They carried more weight. And yet.

Someone had been callously tossed aside for what may have been a _Whim_?

"Hey..." Ash looked up, his vision blurred through the haze of tears. Hau had backed up, Kukui-hakase was holding him back with an arm to his shoulder. Ash hiccups, scrubs his eyes with the inner side of his wrist.

"They didn't deserve that." He whispered as he pushed himself to his feet. They didn't deserve to be abandoned by everyone they knew. But he knows whoever they were, they were alone with a stigma that could not be carried alone. Anyone by association would be a recipient of that heavy, _Heavy_ burden. 

"They didn't do anything wrong." Ash seethed, it wasn't fair.

"I told him about the person branded a heretic." Hau whispered as Ash folded in on himself. It was like Lele beating up Rockruff. They Deity had gone too far and hadn't known it.

This person who was hurt and abandoned was treated like a plague because of something they could not control. And no doubt, they were now angry at the world for a betrayal so intimate. It was like all the story of ever legendary and mythical pokemon he has ever reached out to.

_Angry and hurt. Afraid and ashamed. Lashing out at the cruel world. Kindness was so far out of their realm that it too was punished with hateful jabs._

"Life's not fair, you know that twerp." Ash sobbed as the kantonese feline stretched across his lap. Ash stopped trying to scrub away his tears and curled his other arm around Scraggy. Scraggy was wiping away his tears with a soothing murmur. 

**Understanding. Peace. Serenity. Ripples in a lake, a webbed hand pushing a leaf down the lake. Creating new paths, changing for the better.**

Ash blinked and came back to himself. Professor Kukui was kneeling down in front of him, looking worried. He smiled, a look of relief in his eyes when Ash looked at him.

"They're going to be hurting and so angry at the world over something that _wasn't even their **fault."**_ Ash looked at Kukui-hakase and asked the question he'd never had the courage to ask outloud before.

"Why are humans so cruel to one another?" Kukui-hakase, looked down, bit his lip and sighed.

"That's a hard question to answer Ash. Can I get back to you on that one? I don't really know the answer to it myself." He didn't like that response, but at least Kukui-hakase was honest. It was the best he could expect as of right now. Ash nodded his head, scrubbing away his tears and trying not to imagine the soul having no one to comfort the way he did right now.

Meowth sat on his lap until the tears stopped. Told him to wipe his face of the pitiful expression he was making and then tail slapped him as he walked off Ash's lap. Ash's laugh sounded broken, but it was a genuine laugh all the same.

Ash pondered his dream. Despite oversleeping, he continued his slow trek to school. Something felt different about today.

Something on the edge of his sense was drawing closer. Or rather Ash was drawing closer _it._

He wasn't surprised when Pikachu ran off. Scraggy sat on his shoulder, shrugging as Ash turned to look in the direction Pikachu ran.

Ash dropped into a crouch. Fairy dust faintly fluttered in the air as his hand reached out.

"I can not find data on this pokemon bzzt!" Ash's heart fell.

"No." He whispered in faint horror. Not like this.

He wasn't ready.

Whether he was ready or not.

The world had _chosen._

 **And Ash had no choice but to obey**.


	10. What Are You Willing To Lose To Cover Your Wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: Phoenix- league of legends, Cailin Russo, Chrissy Costanza

Ash slipped into class five minutes after the bell with a scared look on his face. He was cradling his bag to his chest, Scraggy was seen petting something within. Rowlet was perched on Ash's shoulder, worriedly preening his hair and cooing at the contents of the bag. Ash gently set his bag down on Professor Kukui's desk and exhaled shakily.

"Things are going to happen..." he started, eyes roaming around the room and latching onto Lillie's. "And I'm _so sorry_ for what may follow." With that cryptic remark, the class peered into his bag to see an unknown pokemon.

Ash treated the unknown pokemon as if it were a regular baby pokemon. Scraggy often sitting on his shoulder observing it.

When the newly named Nebby cried, Ash was able to get it to calm down. Smiling fondly as he muttered just like Larvitar. Pikachu too looked fond, despite clutching at his ears.

It was because this pokemon was unknown that Lillie knew her mother would be stopping by. And opted to head over to Professor Kukui's house. Maybe she could mitigate the disaster that would come. She owes so much to Ash, helping him just a little is the least she could do. 

She hadn't anticipated this.

Mother showing very little regard for Ash's personal space. Her employees doing little to stop her.

Talking over him as if he, _were like Lillie,_ Not even worthy of standing up for herself. And that was _wrong._

_"I said i made a promise and I'm keeping it."_

She inserted herself between them, forced her mother back with her own body. The fear she felt standing up to her mother, it could not compare to the feeling of sheer terror coming from behind her.

This time, Lillie would protect Ash.

"I'm not your little Lillie flower anymore mother! I may not be an adult but I have changed from that child that you used to know." Lillie's voice was strong and determined as she kept one arm outstretched to fend her mother from moving further.

The three employees that she had brought watched on in silence. She could see the white haired woman looking at Professor Kukui, she seemed as if she had something to say, but that wasn't important enough for her to focus on.

She could feel the miasma of unease, the mind numbing fear that radiated behind her. Ash calmly and quietly shushed Nebby, showing none of the feelings welling up in him like a geyser. 

"You'll always be my Lillie flower, but I'm not talking to you right now." She said viciously rubbing Lillie's hair and stepping past her. Lillie turned and Professor Kukui stepped up to stand beside Ash with a nonchalant expression.

"Ash has made it perfectly clear that he's going to be looking after Nebby. I'd appreciate it if you left him alone and left my property." There was a tense moment of staring between them, though Professor Kukui seemed pretty blase. In the end mother backed off for once. But not without a parting shot.

"We'll speak at a later time Mr. Ketchum. I'm sure you'll see it from my perspective given the right..." she paused to look Professor Kukui up and down with a slight upturn of her lip. "Motivation, farewell for now." She turned on her heel and left, Lillie could feel how smug she felt. But she was more concerned with Ash. Her employees were making their way to the stairs, again the woman stared back, hand on the railing.

"Come along Lillie." The miasma of unease was now oozing off of him. The mind numbing terror left an acrid taste in the back of her mouth. 

"No!" She vehemently denied her mother and took the last few steps to Ash and wrapped an arm around his bicep. "I'm staying!" Her mother shot her a look of contempt.

"Then stay. You'll be begging to come back shortly." Lillie did not falter, catching Snowy as she leapt into her arm.

Lillie wouldn't regret a moment of standing up to her mother. Ash had taught her so much. And the most important thing he'd taught her, was that **she was brave.**

Ash shakily exhaled, eyes wide with fear as he glanced in Professor Kukui's direction. Lillie knew she made the right decision. 

"I hope you don't mind that I unceremoniously dropped myself in your care. Please look after me." Lillie said softly, arm still wrapped around Ash.

"It's no problem Lillie, though we will have to update your school records. And I'll have to see about the food, we were due for a grocery run." And then he was muttering to himself as he pulled out a small notepad from one of his pockets and made his way upstairs.

Ash abruptly sat down, laughing quietly with a shaken look. Lillie awkwardly crouched down beside him, slowly untangling her arm from his.

* * *

Ash does not like this woman. Her eyes. The feeling she gives off. Her inability to understand that he did not want her near him or Nebby. Even when he outright told her to back up. 

She was persistent. She was too much like...

Ĺ̸̨̡̨̝̜̞̲͕̟̬̲͕͇̫̤̣̙͓̞̭͕̫̤̖͆̍̄̄̒͠y̸̛͓̏͋͛̕s̷̡̛̺͚̗̻̜̦̖͖̠̞̩̾̾͂̄͗̆́̈́̅̍͒̊̑̀̈͒́͒̇̕̚͝͝ͅà̶̠̺͎̠͓̳̪̯͕͒̿͑̔̄̉̽̈́̈̆͒̽͛͊͘̕͜͠n̷͕̻̤̫̲͙̞͓̳̹̣͙̟̂̈̐͋͋̑̋̓͜͠͝d̶̢̨̧̥͕̹̰̝͔̗̠̳̤̗̙̫̮̖̦͔̆̎͒͆͂̊̀͗̀͘e̴̢̨̨̛̜̮͎̞͍̦̻̝͖̻̹̭͇̭̠̳͚̥̟̣͆̊̈́́̿̅͊̈́͜͜ŗ̶̨͕̙̖̤̱͎͙̯̺̝̤͈̤̬̗̹̮͖̠̥͍̂̉͆̆͋̆̐̏̌̊̓͠͝͝.̶̖̼̹̻̠͚̇͒̎̿̇̐͛̏͒̈́̈́̂̈́̔̈́̂͌̈͂͛͘ ̵̛̼͖͚̰̹̹̤̣̰̟̦̣̟̖̥͋͆̓͋̌̂̍͑͋̌̍́͊̓̑̏̂̏̏͒͘͜ He just wanted her to leave him alone. 

Just _like_ him. Pikachu wanted to get rid of her, but this was Lillie's parent. He couldn't just tell Pikachu to go right ahead and remove her. No. Lillie deserves the chance to stand up for herself. Ash couldn't interfere with this woman. Her employees wouldn't even interfere.

His heart thundered in his chest as he remembers someone else who did not intervene for his sake, paralyzed by the sight of his mistakes and abandoning Ash to the hands of a mad man.

~~_Heweasafraidofher._ ~~

Then Lillie's back was in front of him. Standing tall, arguing with her mother. Defending herself _and_ him.

And Kukui-hakase stepped up, to stand _beside_ him.

Rage simmering underneath his calm exterior. And then she left. Her words triggering something broken in him. Something that rattled, and despite being held together, it felt wrong and it hurt.

As he sat on the floor breathing, Lillie beside him with worry, Pikachu murmured softly that he was safe. And for once.

Ash really belived that.

Ash feels guilty that Lillie is moving in with literally only the clothes off her back. So he vows to himself he would make things right, and goes to the store while Kukui-hakase is making dinner.

It was nerve wracking. More than once he was crouched down in an aisle, Pikachu talking him down from a panic attack when a clerk came to see if he needed help.

Ash comes out of the store with woman products, a hair brush, scrunchies, pajamas, and slippers. He keeps a mental list running of what else would be needed, and to take Lillie to shop herself later on.

He's on his way home when Hobbes drives by, picks him and quietly gestures to the bags in the back of the limo. Ash knows he is doing this secretly and appreciates what the man is doing.

He can see just how much the man cares for Lillie.

Kukui-hakase and Lillie are unaware that Ash even left, he had left through the loft window. Therefore they are shocked when he comes in with a bunch of bags and carries them upstairs, aside from one bag that he tells Lillie to put in the bathroom.

Then he empties out two drawers and fills with Lillie's clothes, leaving her under clothes alone for her to sort.

"We can share the loft! I'll sleep downstairs." Ash stated cheerfully as he sat down for dinner. The two stared at him dumbfounded. Ash ignores it, he forces himself to stay relaxed as he continues to eat food. He has no idea what he's eating, could careless at the moment.

So long as Kukui-hakase and Lillie stop staring.

And they do stop, staring, that is.

Ash relaxes. He can do this, he's doing just fine. Nebby is doing just fine.

He can definitely make this his home too.

"Who was that woman? She looks as if she knew you." Lillie asks, Ash can feel sorrow, Kukui-hakase smiles, and it feels a little bit broken.

"Burnet, an old girlfriend of mine. We grew up and drifted apart. I'm glad to see she's doing okay for herself." And despite how open he is about talking about her. Ash and Lillie don't ask him anymore. Not when it seems to hurt him.

* * *

Lillie looked at the dark blue button down pajama decorated with white snowflakes. It was comfortable and soft. And it was not predominantly white. It brought tears to her eyes as she put it on.

She had never worn anything aside from what mother had bought her.

She brushed her hands down the smooth material and sits down. Snowy curiously looks up at her, Lillie wraps her arms around her and stifles the need to cry over something so simple. Ash hadn't even thought, just slipped out and bought her stuff so that she wouldn't be living here with just what she'd walked in with.

Lillie hadn't planned to just move in with Professor Kukui. And yet, she was accepted wholeheartedly. 

It was so _nice._

Ash and the Professor were _so **kind.**_

The next morning Lillie woke up and froze at the unfamiliar surroundings. It took her a minute to recall her spontaneous decision from the other day. But when she did, she relaxed back into the couch cushions and sighed in relief.

She made her way down the ladder and found Ash at the table writing in his journal. Rotom was beside him as they quietly talked. She's glad they were getting along now.

"Morning." Ash greeted when he caught sight of her, Lillie waved at him and made her way to the restroom.

There was plain oatmeal for breakfast. Ash was warily poking at it with a spoon, looking vaguely nauseous at the thought of eating.

Professor Kukui didn't say anything, just took the bowl and ate it. Rotom reminded them of the time and they all packed up to leave for school. 

Lillie notices that she needs to up her stamina. She pauses as a limo slowly drives and stops besides them. It's Hobbes. He looks happy to see her, offering them a ride.

Lillie looks at Ash and Professor Kukui, they watch and wait patiently for her to make her decision.

A decision Lillie had made yesterday. She wanted to keep making that decision. To be her own person. And she would.

"No thank you Hobbes. I will be walking to school." 

Professor Kukui looks happy for her, his smile is proud. He can see how much she has grown and changed, and Lillie can too.

Hobbes too, looks happy.

"I'm so proud of you, young miss. Before, you used to be like an Oricorio in a gilded cage. I'm glad i have the privilege to watch you grow into a fine young woman. The late master would be so proud of you." Hobbes tearfully dabbed at his eyes, Lillie too dabbed at her eyes. She saw his eyes widen and looked behind her. Brother looked surprised, he was standing a few feet away from Ash with Lycanroc standing between them. He looked at Hobbes and smiled faintly.

"You've grown into a fine young lad." Gladion smiles sincerely at Hobbes, offering him a small nod. Hobbes drives off, and they resume their walk to school.

"You should see about making friends with your classmates. That may help you settle down more." Gladion says, Professor Kukui is politely ignoring their conversation as he walks slightly ahead.

"I'm okay with the friends I have now." It sounded like a weak excuse, but Gladion prodded again. Ash reluctantly seemed to agree and said he would try. Gladion didn't bother him on the topic again, instead looking at Nebby when Ash began talking to them.

He looked at Lillie, she could feel something coming from him but just as quickly as it was there it was gone.

When Lillie wakes up. She feels bloated, her sides ache, and she just feels disgusted. She sighs to herself, and accidentally rolls off the couch. She groans, muttering to herself to suck it up. 

She hears a metal clang, then some knocking. She tilts her head and sees Ash leaning against the ladder, arms crossed under his chin. He looks concerned. 

"Want me to carry you down?" Lillie should suck it up. She has to deal with this every month. She shouldn't badger Ash over something so trivial. She needed to be a grown up about- 

Lillie looked at the fork in her hand. She felt a brush going through her hair. It was hesistant, brushing out the tangles until her hair was tied into a loose ponytail. Ash slowly peers at her, gently sets down a pile of clothes on the counter beside her while she eats and then pushes Pikachu at her. Lillie cuddles Pikachu close. 

Once she finishes her meal, she let's Pikachu go, in favor of getting changed. She catches sight of Ash pickpocketing Professor Kukui of a notepad and pen.

The walk to school is long. Bayleef uses sweet scent and it helps her mood just a little. Ash offers her a berry, she knows this one by heart. Mallow offers her this one each time it's the first day.

Ash is carrying Snowy, and Lillie has a hold of Pikachu. Pikachu is so warm and comfy and just the right size to offer her comfort. 

She felt slightly guilty that Snowy wasn't being carried by her, but Ash seemed to have that covered. Snowy liked him too.

Ash had offered to give her a piggyback ride to school but Lillie declined. She was strong and independent. She-

"I'm sorry Ash." Ash accepts his bag back from Professor Kukui and slips it on so it rests against his chest, and sets Snowy on his head. They resume the walk to school, no longer going at a slowbro's pace.

"You said its important to know our limits. You aren't used to the long walk." Ash whispers hesitantly, looking back at her. Lillie nods, resting her cheek against Ash's shoulder with a tired groan. She feels exhausted and she already wants to take a nap despite the fact that she had literally fallen out of bed not even an hour ago.

"Pikachu is good at electro therapy..." Lillie looked at Ash from the corner of her eye to see that he looked nervous. She caught sight of him adjusting his backpack so that she didn't accidentally brush any of the pokemon within.

"We're almost to school." Professor Kukui said, Ash nods and moves so that he's less than a foot away. Professor Kukui offers them a once over and looks concerned to see her so out of it. He presses his palm to Lillie's forehead, Ash freezes in place, backs up a step and shrugs his shoulder, forcefully dislodging Lillie for a second. He shoots her an apologetic look.

"If you aren't feeling well you could stay home Lillie." Lillie sighs, gives herself a small shake.

"It's fine Professor. I'll be better tomorrow." He hums but leaves them be as they reach the school.

Mallow swoops in and bundles her off, Ash looks hurt. Lillie doesn't get to say a word to him before the look is wiped off his face, and he aims a smile at her.

Lillie sits in class, watching as Professor Kukui lectures about the nutrition difference that kantonese pokemon need, versus what alolan pokemon need. 

Her stomach was killing her. She curled her arm around her stomach, took notes with the other and wishes school would end.

* * *

Kukui watched Lana and Mallow bundle Lillie off as soon Ash set her down. There was a niggling sensation, something he was forgetting.

And it wasn't to do with Lillie wearing clothes that were not white for once. The leggings and pale blue dress were something Ash had picked for her to wear. It actually suited her.

No. Stop getting distracted, roll call before the kids notice.

The longer he stared, the clearer the picture became. The list Ash had given him.

The morning where Lillie was uncharacteristically grumpy. The berry Ash had given her.

The berry that all the girls bring for other girls.

The very same that he'd seen Burnet make smoothies with, once upon a time.

  
Oh no.

  
_Oh No!_

  
**_Oh!_ **

**_NO!!_ **

  
Kukui peered at the list in the teacher's lounge with horror. Samson laughed behind him.

  1. Pain medication
  2. ibuprofen
  3. muscle relaxers
  4. melatonin tablets
  5. heating pads.



That's why Ash had given him that look. Why he had gone out of his way to be nice to Lillie.

Ash had brushed her hair. He'd grabbed her clothes. He'd given her a piggyback ride to school. And let her hold Pikachu. Pikachu that _never_ left his side.

It hasn't even been three days since Lillie came to live under his roof. And he was already overwhelmed.

Pathetic. 

He had to be better than this.

He _would_ be better than this.

> _"No one will help me, I'm not broken! I love pokemon! I'm not afraid! Please let me go to school here!" Lillie was near tears as she pushed the enrollment forms to him._
> 
> _"Because i was so afraid, i didn't look back." The look of shame as Ash lowered his fork. "There were so many **good** memories. So many **wonderful** things, and i let **him** ruin it." Ash admits in a hoarse whisper._

Kukui shakes his head and presses his palms to his face. He was going to do better for them. They deserved more than him. Struggling on their own for so long, being strong by themselves because they didn't have anyone else to lean on.

Kukui was _going_ to be someone they could turn to.

He was going to help them, he'd _promised._

* * *

Kukui-hakase bid them farewell at the end of the day, saying he had to do their grocery run today. When Lillie asked if they should come, Kukui-hakase shook his head. But Ash could see that he'd understood why Ash had given him that list. 

Ash is thankful that Pikachu had given him the heads up. He remembers Brock telling him a long time ago, how pokemon were good at smelling scents in people that humans wouldn't be able to pick up. Hormones being one of those scents. It was interesting to know.

And so very helpful.

Ash was walking slowly, letting Lillie pause every so often as they walked home. She thanked him profusely, but said she was going to be walking home. Scraggy tugged on his sleeve, catching Ash's attention as he turned his head a little to peer at his bag. Nebby was curiously staring at Scraggy. Then saw Ash and smiled, Ash returned the gesture, moving Scraggy higher on his shoulder so he could remove his bag.

"You slept all day sleepy head. Want to explore a little bit? Hm, Nebby-chan?" Nebby nods, slipping out of the bag and taking in the sand, the beach and the trees behind them.

"How will you raise it? Bzzt!" Rotom asked, Ash wiggled his fingers along Nebby's cheeks eliciting a few giggles.

"Just like any other baby pokemon." Rotom said nothing, wearing a pensive face as he watched Ash play peek a boo.

"Children's games! Teaching Nebby to recognize you, and socializing." Ash nods, turning to Scraggy who covered his face and removed his hands to reveal a Scary Face. Nebby laughed, Scraggy seemed to be having fun too.

Ash twitched when he felt someone come up from behind him. He tightened his hold on Nebby and tersely looked over his shoulder. Gladion had already backed away with his arms raised. Ash looked away, trying to relax. He could hear Lillie and Gladion talking behind him, Scraggy tugged at his sleeve and covered his face. He uncovered his face to reveal another Scary Face. Ash relaxed, he could never find Scraggy scary.

There was a cold spot on his shin, Lycanroc was nosing at his leg. There was concern in those emerald eyes. Ash didn't want to trouble his pokemon anymore. They were always worrying about him. 

Ash smiles, offering his hand out. His fingertips graze the very tip of Lycanroc's rock tip collar. Lycanroc crouches down with a playful smile and then jumps. Ash laughs, pain in his neck and chest where Lycanroc rubs his collar. Nebby gets a similar, if slightly gentler rub from Lycanroc. The baby giggles, clapping what could be hands, joyfully.

Ash watches Gladion offer Lillie a chocolate bar from the corner of his eyes. Gladion and Lillie kept their distance from him, letting him decide when they could step closer.

Ash knows he used to be able to stand closer than this to Gladion.

Lillie and Gladion were walking ahead of him, quietly discussing something. He knows he's been closer than this, but walking behind them, Ash was aware of these feelings he'd buried.

Feelings brought back by the mere presence of that woman. 

Ash sighs, kicking a rock and watching it skitter across from him. He wonders if Bonnie had written anything yet. Or maybe Clemont. He sent back their letters so late.

Maybe both of them had written this time, that could explain why there was a long wait. Last time they both wrote him, the letter came in a package that weighed over ten pounds. They had sent him quite a bit, including a neat little device that was not a phone or a pokedex but worked similar enough. Though there were only two so it couldn't communicate with other devices.

"Pikapi." Ash glanced around, Pikachu pointed ahead, there was a package on the porch. Huh. Hopefully they didn't go overboard again.

"Ash, you have a package, the return address is scribbled out." Lillie squints trying to read it.

"It's fine, that's done on purpose." Ash calls back to her, she looks curious but says nothing as he sits down on the porch and opens the box.

Some pokemon treats, the kind Pikachu likes.

A thick envelope , no doubt containing letters from Bonnie and Clemont.

A poke geographics magazine, a sticky note in the front has Professor Sycamore's signature. It probably has mention of Greninja. 

Some of Clemont's inventions, which would be explained in the letters.

A letter from A̵̡̳͇͉̝̲̪̪̲̒̋̇͌̄͑̎̓̉̒ͅl̶̢̖̼̯̲̲̗͙͙̫̹̬̾̆̀͌̐̇a̸̧̡̨̢̛̰̞̦̝͉͈̗͉͙͚̽̅͒̽̿͜͝i̶̗̭̍̃̎̅̂̒̽̄͝ņ̷͚̘͖̣̲̎̃̊̀̇͜͝.

That's new.

"Pika!" Pikachu shouts when he manages to open the pokemon treats. He shares with everyone, offering a smaller piece to Nebby, Nebby eats it but clear prefers the star treats better.

"Let's see what Bonnie and Clemont are up to." Ash looks through the letters and starts to separate them by Clemont's inventions, Clemont's letters and Bonnie's letters. Ash sometimes wonders if email would be better, but Bonnie's excitement over having a penpal had won them all over.

"Looks like Bonnie was able to get in touch with Hoopa." Ash reads about her getting to go to Dahara desert again, then she mentions how Clemont upgraded their home's security.

Again.

Ash felt his heart clench at the trauma that Clemont had suffered. Losing his gym, having to destroy Clembot. Even if he could rebuild him, it was the act of having to destroy his own invention that had left a mark.

All of K̵̛̦̻̳̺̖̯͙̥̠̮͈̩̐̓͛͑ă̴̢̻͖̫̩͈̞͚̌̅͛̔̿̂̕͘ͅl̴̤̝͎͓̪̖͍̻̼̋ͅo̴̬̙̟̜̙͓͓͔̩̣̖̗̲̊̅̄̿͊̽̿̌̇̋̚͘̚͜s̶̼̪̖̰̺͔̜̈́̊ had been left reeling. Sometimes Ash wonders if he should talk about what happened to him. Only one person knew what actually happened to him, and they were keeping silent.

"Ash?" Ash looked away from Bonnie's letter to see Lillie holding out a glass of water to him. He accepted it and then looked down at his letter.

"These are letters from some friends. Clemont and Bonnie, his younger sister." Lillie nods, and sits down a good distance from the pokemon. Gladion leans against the doorway, Lycanroc sitting beside his Lycanroc. 

"Bonnie likes to tell me everything that goes on. She got to visit some old friends." Ash grins as he reads about the other gym leaders paying her and Clemont a visit. Diantha dropping by a few times to go with Bonnie and Clemont to wherever Bonnie felt like going. 

Clemont's letter talked about Bonnie, his inventions, some new laws being passed, Professor Sycamore and A̵̡̳͇͉̝̲̪̪̲̒̋̇͌̄͑̎̓̉̒ͅl̶̢̖̼̯̲̲̗͙͙̫̹̬̾̆̀͌̐̇a̸̧̡̨̢̛̰̞̦̝͉͈̗͉͙͚̽̅͒̽̿͜͝i̶̗̭̍̃̎̅̂̒̽̄͝ņ̷͚̘͖̣̲̎̃̊̀̇͜͝, and how they were doing. Marin had challeneged his gym with Chespie and had won. She was thinking of competing in the next league, though that was on hold this year and wouldn't be open until next year.

There were still repairs going on. Looks like Clemont scribbled something out.

"What about this letter?" Ash stared, the letter was behind Pikachu. Pikachu was refusing to let him see it. Did Ash want to see it?

All was forgiven. His heart had been at the right place. But so many people were hurt.

So many pokemon.

 _His_ pokemon.

_His pokemon were hurt._

Ash... was _hurt._

> _The world was burning._
> 
> _Crumbling to ruins_
> 
> _Crying out._
> 
> _It was painful. Being lulled into a false sense of security._
> 
> _A siren call despite how much it made **Him** burn._

* * *

Gladion watched as Ash stared happily at the letters. Laughing as he read through them. Pulling out strange inventions. And then Lillie picked up a letter forgotten, lain aside.

Gladion didn't like how this letter, written in Kalosian, could wipe away all the joy Ash had expressed. Pikachu took the letter from Lillie and put it at his back. Ash stared.

Silent. Unperturbed. His gaze slowly wandered off. A far off look in his eyes as his hand dropped down his lap. Letters slipping from his fingers.

"Ash?" Bayleef nudges his shoulder, Scraggy grabs hold of one of Ash's fingers with a sad look.

"Scrag." He says with a small headshake.

"Bay." Bayleef nods, then Nebby digs into the box and something moves. There's a violent movement from within the box and loud, piercing wails drown out everything.

Gladion clamps his hands over his ears, squinting at Nebby. Pikachu shoved the letter aside and grabbed Nebby, bouncing and swaying as he tried to calm the baby. Gladion watches as Ash, haltingly moves. Gathers Nebby into his arms and gives gentle pats.

Nebby stops crying, Ash pulls out a toy from the box and sets it down.

"It's not so scary. It's just a toy." Nebby warily prods it, it bursts into movement. Dancing, twirling and then it freezes. 

Ash looks so young. Sitting there with his knees to his chest, arms wrapped around Nebby like a favored stuffed toy.

He seemed so alone.

Ash was sitting across from Lillie, Nebby on his lap as he held Mew by the tail. The playful kitten was floating upside down, stretching out to touch Lillie. Lillie was muttering to herself as she worked on stretching put her hand. Snowy and Pikachu were on either side of her, watching. Ash looked at her with and encouraging smile, and when Lillie finally reached out, Ash aimed a smile his way.

"I did it! I touched Mew!" Lillie was on her knees, petting Mew and offering chin scratches. Mew abruptly shifted into a Pikachu but Lillie didn't react. Ash slowly let go of Mew, watching and ready to grab Mew away at any moment. 

"Good job Lillie." Lillie smiled at him. Gladion looked at the door when Bayleef tapped it with a vine. Gladion returned his pokemon and made his way to the loft. He slipped out the window and leaned back against the roof, keeping an ear on the occupants inside.

"Ok, i shouldn't need to go to the store again. I didn't forget anything this time." Kukui said, Gladion smirks to himself as he hears ask about the project but only received a nonanswer. Gladion could bet he would be back at the store tomorrow, for the third time in a row. The heatpad stuffimal that he was making was harder to make than most people would think. Only one person in Ula'Ula could even make a good enough one to pass inspection. 

"Make sure to close the loft window." There was a noise of agreement, then a finger poked his ankle. Gladion glanced down to see Ash hanging out the window, arms crossed as he laid his head on them.

"I could touch you today." He says noncommittal, as if the last few days where he had avoid being near Gladion had not happened. Ash shifted, finger tracing patterns into the wooden ledge.

"She scares me. I didn't like being reminded like that." Ash starts, Gladion could see the patterns were actually kanji. He squinted, he wonders if that guy knows kanji. Maybe he should ask.

"She said she would see me again. And you're missing right now." Gladion pursed his lips, seeing where Ash was going.

"I don't really mind if she sees me now, she can't keep me locked up anymore." Ash's finger pauses, brown eyes peek at him from beneath a red rimmed cap.

"Its been five days, she will probably end up back here soon." Ash stretches his arms out and shuts the window without another word.

Gladion looks up, the sunsetting painted the sky different hues. 

He wasn't needed on Poni island any time soon. He could stay another day. Tapu Fini may even drop by, he could ask then. 

Gladion waited outside the school, Ash and Lillie stopped going to the pokemon center almost one week ago as they adjusted to cohabitation and would just head to Kukui's house. Sometimes they went to the Bewear Malasadas food truck but they mostly went home. Today they decided to get Malasadas and also buy more pokemon food.

"How can you carry all that?" Gladion asked, Ash had two bags over his shoulders and was walking without breaking a sweat. Ash shrugged his shoulders and kept walking, his Bayleef carrying another two bags. Gladion was kind of glad he came with them, Ash barely made it through the store without succumbing to a panic attack. He and Lillie had to cut in each time someone came over to help Ash, who _clearly_ did not _need_ any help.

"Hello Ash." Gladion looked away from Ash and saw mother leaning out the window of a limo. She waved her fingers, smiling. She completely ignores both Lillie and himself.

_'She scares me. I didn't like being reminded like that.'_

"Keep going Ash." Gladion says, tapping his shin with the tips of his toes. Ash begins to slowly walk ahead, his back tense, Gladion pushes Lillie ahead of him. Mother looks faintly surprised and pouts. She looks at him, he can no longer see the woman he used to call mother. This stranger that wears his mother's face, has grown colder and more jagged.

She _looks_ at him, but does not _see_ him.

"Are you just going to ignore me like that?" Gladion let out a short whistle as he caught the eyes of Tupp, Zipp and Rapp. They gave him a nod and made their way over. Lillie turned to look behind but at Gladion's look she kept her eyes forward.

They rounded the corner and found Ash sitting on the floor, hugging Bayleef. He looked up, eyes wide with fright, then relief. Lycanroc lumbered forward and lifted a bag up before walking forward. A Pikachu darted to another bag and turned into a Bulbasaur and used vine whip to grab another bag. Ash's Lycanroc laid down on the floor, a bag was carefully rolled onto his back and he rose to his feet and began to walk.

Gladion and Lillie struggled to lift the last bag, each on either side of it. Then the bag finally lifted, only it seems Ash had grabbed it. He held it between his arms and glanced behind, Gladion took that as his cue.

"Let's hurry back." Ash nods, and they resume the walk home.


	11. And I Don't Want To Fall To Pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: fall to pieces- avril lavigne

It took some getting used to, having a boarder. But then he grew used to the rhythm and they were doing just fine. Then Lillie joined them and again there was a growing period where they all adjusted. Curiously enough, Ash and Lillie had only asked about Burnet once, but he couldn't seem to stop talking about her when he was reminded of her out of the blue.

It was like, just seeing her was enough to remind him of the greatest mistake of his life.

Letting her go.

Despite the way the ended their relationship, amicably and with a few teasing remarks, they had both chosen to pursue their dreams.

When Ash talked about his Bulbasaur, or his Oshawatt, it reminded him of her opinions.

When he worked on the heating pad Pikachu plush, he was reminded of Burnet and the one that she had. Sometimes the tears of pain when he pricked his finger, weren't just because he pricked his finger. Somehow Ash and Lillie were aware of his mood the next morning and they would pester him for tales of his youth. Heh. Look at him talking as if he were older than his twenty seven years.

They acclimated quickly to Lillie and she easily was able to adapt to them living with her.

Then.

Ash drags Gladion home one night.

That's it. 

Gladion is now part of this household.

Kukui doesn't make the rules.

He just goes with the flow, tries not to step on any toes and basks in having a full home.

It had barely been two weeks of having Ash and Lillie under his roof and now he had another occupant.

One who apparently stays at the beach at night.

Though Gladion had put up a few protests and was immediately overruled by his sister while Ash cheerfully shoved him to the bathroom with a set of Ash's clothes. Then Ash slips back out for another walk.

Kukui has a feeling that Ash would be coming back with more clothes, same as he had with Lillie. He leaves him be, and focuses on making dinner. Lillie is scribbling away at the table as she does her homework.

Ash arrives back in twenty minutes with various bags. He tosses a bag at the table and climbs up to the loft, Lillie looks at the bag and grins as she pulls out a pair of pajamas. They were black with tiny little Rockruffs running around. She takes the bag and runs to the bathroom, knocking and then shoving the bag inside when it cracks open.

Ash slids down the ladder and sits at the table to start his homework. He shifts around when Kukui passes him but no longer tenses.

Gladion sits at the table, looking out of place as he has nothing to do while Ash and Lillie studied for an upcoming test. Kukui wonders again, what Gladion does for schooling.

As Kukui serves plates. Gladion is quizzing both Ash and Lillie. He clearly knows what he's talking about, offering tidbits to help them memorize facts.

Ash side eyes the plate placed a foot away from him and peeks at Gladion and Lillie setting their studies aside. Ash looks conflicted, Kukui hopes Ash eats but doesn't voice it aloud and instead makes sure he does not look at the food or Ash. He sits and eats in silence.

Ash leaves the table and serves his pokemon. Mutters something to Pikachu before returning to the table and sliding the plate closer. Kukui feels relieved and excited but holds it in.

The phone rings, Ash didn't hesitate and abandoned his plate. Kukui peered at the half empty plate Ash had been playing with and did not feel bad. He had eaten half of it at least. That was probably the best he was going to get tonight.

"Wait, what? Hoopa should be with Meray and Baraz." Ash hummed, glancing over at Mew when the mythical floated over.

"You haven't seen Hoopa, have you?" Mew nods and stretches a paw out to point outside. Ash follows with phone in hand and abruptly vanishes from sight in a ring of water?

"Ash?!" Kukui calls out, heart in his throat as he jumps to his feet. Mew is giggling, Pikachu runs forward and jumps into the ring, then his tail pops back out. Slowly the rest of him appears until he sits outside the portal. Ash steps out of the ring covered in confetti, and waving.

"I was surprised that time." He says as the ring shrinks and vanishes, Kukui barely manages to remain in place, the smile Ash wore doing more to relieve him than anything. Ash looks up and blushes faintly.

"Ah, sorry. Hoopa wanted me to attend a party, it won't happen again. At least, not without a warning." Ash mutters the last part to himself. Then looks down at his clothes and huffs indignantly. He's not just covered in confetti, but glitter and streamers.

"I'm going to take a shower." He says and walks stiffly to the bathroom so as to not leave glitter, confetti and streamers everywhere. He delicately deposits the phone back into its cradle.

The next morning as Kukui holds a cup of coffee, he sees three kids taking turns to use the restroom and getting ready for a brand new day.

Kukui with a mug of coffee in hand smiles to himself at all the noise in his once empty home.

His house is full.

His cup? Is full.

His heart?

_Full._

It really isn't until well into the next week when Kukui has to go for another grocery run, the third this month, that it dawns on him. Kids need their own rooms. Lillie took the room Ash had. And Ash and Gladion were sharing a convertible couch bed, that he is sure he did not have in his livingroom. Plus the loft for their belongings. 

Then a construction crew shows up at his door when they are twenty minutes away from leaving for school and Ash looks highly embarrassed. 

"Ah... i forgot to ask your permission..." he says sheepish, sliding a few pages his way. He looks at the pages while the construction crew waits outside. Ash edges away, looking nervously at the door.

There are three additional rooms being added. His kitchen is being expanded, and so is the living room. There is a room being added to the back of the house near where his room is. Another to the side at the front, with a high skyline. And then above the loft, some type of tower? There was measurements, cost of labor, time, supplies and a list of what is needed to furnish the rooms.

"This looks good. And you already signed the contracts? You work fast Ash." Kukui was too surprised and relieved to bother being upset about the renovations being done to his home. He had three kids living under his roof now, he couldn't keep living in this place without making more than a few changes.

Especially since anyone whose ever set foot in his house complained about its structure. He liked it.

It had character. 

The construction time was conveniently timed too. It happened while they were at school and stopped by the time the kids came home, so Ash wouldn't have to be around so many strangers and neither would Lillie be around so many pokemon.

Then Kukui arrived home later than usually since he had a match one night thst he couldn't get put of and found out that there was also construction happening at night.

Ash was directing Mew, what might be Hoopa that had abducted him nearly a week ago, a Mr. Mime and some other pokemon that hid as soon as he walked up. Ash paused, waved at him, then continued to help the pokemon.

Kukui regrets letting his irritation show so much.

Gladion had gone quiet.

Ash had actually tensed and glanced away, hands buried in Lycanroc's fur.

And Lillie looked disappointed and sad.

He was tired and irritated with all the construction happening at all hours, but by no means was that an excuse to let the kids see him like this. Kukui kicked a rock on the path and sighed. He just thankful he hadn't slammed the door shut behind him. He grumbled irritably at himself for being so stupid. These kids under his care had been let down and left hurting for so long. He didn't want to end up being another person who lets them down.

How could he misplace his research proposal? Especially when he and Ash had been working on their research together so he could site Ashley K. As one of his key assistants, and use that for leverage with the committee. 

Kukui makes his way back home to see Ash and Lillie waiting by the road with his bag and a travel mug with coffee. Ash is crouched down, drawing on the floor with his finger and talking to Nebby. Lillie says something and he laughs, brushing his palm against the floor and then drawing something else. Nebby giggles excitedly as it points to the drawing. As Kukui nears them, he sees it is Nebby that was drawn.

The two smile at him and he knows that all is forgiven. Though he still feels guilty about it.

* * *

Lillie watched Ash and Gladion look through a catalog on Professor Kukui's laptop before they both agreed on something and put the laptop away, getting ready for bed.

This was their first night.

The lights shut off, and then all was quiet. Lillie felt like her heart was full. Her brother was living under the same roof as she was again. And this time, they were both free.

It was almost like it used to be, Ash and Professor Kukui were a welcome addition.

Lillie was the happiest she'd ever been.

Three days later, Ash had pulled them all aside and presented a rough sketch of the whole house. So that's what he, Bayleef and pikachu had been doing the past two nights.

He set a new sketch down, it was additions to the house. He planned to renovate to create rooms for them all. Rotom went through the math, Ash helping him and then mentioning that they could haggle the costs down further when they spoke with contractors. The addition of a third room was something the three of them bent their heads together to discuss. Professor Kukui was losing out on time he could spend with his friends because Ash was leery of strangers.

Ash had locks incorporated into the rooms, the loft being connected to a tower with a door that could be locked so they decided it would be fine for Kukui to have sleepover with friends. Then they further thought about, and realized he mostly talked about Burnet, and how they had drifted apart and decided that it was going to be a guest room for Burnet.

Rotom happily took over the decor, the kids picking out furniture, bedding and curtains for each room.

Gladion muttered if the room was for Burnet it wouldn't be in much use, Bayleef smacked him with a vine, Lillie pouted with a blush along her cheeks. Ash was very curious, but seeing the offended looks, opted to remain silent.

Somehow along the way, Ash had forgotten to get permission, though Professor Kukui was okay with things and construction was well underway.

Day and night.

The weekends, they were back to helping at the pokemon center. Ash choosing to spend at least an hour with Hau for lunch before resuming at the pokemon center.

At night it was actually some pokemon Ash knew that would pick up where the morning crew left off. And when his insomnia was bad, he would help them.

Lillie knows that Ash only had pokemon he knew working on the renovations at night because he was nervous that one day their schedules would overlap with the construction crew or mother would make a move.

And she had.

Tried again to get him alone. This time he had been talking with Kahuna Hala's grandson. Brother had said he was needed elsewhere and had gone off, and Lillie had actually spent time with Lana and Mallow when they mentioned how much they missed spending time with her. Ash had smiled and waved her off.

Lillie had gotten worried and asked to leave earlier, Mallow and Lana had actually followed her, they didn't mind her leaving early but asked to walk her home.

That was how they came across Ash and Hau. Mother was talking excitedly, Ash edging away from her, placing Hau between them.

"I told you, no! I'm looking after Nebby just fine!" He growled, arms curled around Nebby, the baby was being distracted by Pikachu. Bayleef and Lycanroc looked ready to attack.

"Listen Ms. Lady, Ash clearly feels uncomfortable with you near him." Hau says, grabbing mother by the arm when she attempts to move past him.

Lillie wastes no time and inserts herself between mother and Ash once more. This time, she _will not_ be moved.

"Mother, Ash has made it clear he is looking after Nebby. Nothing is going to change that, not now, not any time soon. Ash, and I will be leaving." Lillie doesn't even look back when she grabs Ash's arm and she is already walking off. She hears a vehicle's tires rolling and tenses, afraid that mother is having Hobbes drive.

"Look out! The breaks are faulty!" A woman shouts and Lillie is shoved forward. She glances behind her to see Ash looking shaken as he pulls his hand back. The Bewear Malasadas food truck had rolled back, nearly running them over had Ash not shoved her.

He laughs shakily, the male employee waves them off and Ash nods. Lillie grabs his hand again and they starting walking away.

Quickly.

But legitimate fears aside, a two weeks of straight construction, seemed to be the breaking point for Professor Kukui.

He seemed to be getting...

Tetchy. 

Coffee not seeming to be enough sometimes.

Today it comes to a head.

Professor Kukui groans, he is sorting through boxes, searching for some type of paper work. He movements are harried and frantic, Gladion looks away from the new Poke news article published on the Guardian Deities of Alola. He seems oddly focused on the one focused on Tapu Fini.

  
A box crashes to the floor, Ash jumps as he nearly bolts out of his seat. Lillie looks at the line drawn straight across her diary. Professor Kukui hisses in frustration and begins to right the box, he slams it down on the floor and sits back, glaring at the boxes with frustration. 

  
Gladion folds the article and takes his plate to the sink. Ash shoves his plate away, hands buried in Lycanroc's fur as his eyes glance away. Lillie frowns, she knows Professor Kukui is feeling frustrated, but he could ask them for help instead of letting it build up. She closes her diary and turns to face him, but he gets up, buries his hands in his pocket and heads for the door.

"I'm going for a walk." He mutters, the door shuts behind him with a silent click. Ash bites his lip, and makes his way to the boxes and crouches down to peer at them. He looks towards them with a guilty look.

"I think... he forgot i mailed his proposal in..." Ash whispers, voice fading near the end with the strength of his guilt. Lillie remembers now, Professor Kukui had left early one morning and Ash had run an errand for him. He had letters in his hand when he had left.

Oh.

Oh no.

Gladion sets a mug on the table and eyes them both.

"You're getting along with Kiawe now right? Why don't you ask him to see the farm. And Lillie, you spend time with your friends after school today." Lillie looks down at the table, and nods with a small sigh. Ash stacks the boxes neatly onto the counter and nods.

The walk to school is silent, Professor Kukui no longer seems upset.

Lillie comes home, Ash is already sitting on the porch when she arrives. She looks around and sees that his pokemon are all on guard, construction is still going on at the rear of the house. Lillie opts to wait with him for the construction workers to leave. Professor Kukui steps out, looks surprised to see them outside and glances behind him. Gladion slips past him and sits down beside them and passes them a bag.

"Here." He says simply as he grabs a Malasada from within the bag. They each grab hold of one, Gladion gives her a short nod to let her know that he spoke with Professor Kukui already.

About what she does not know, just that he had looked at her and asked her and Ash to leave.

"Listen, kids... i just want to apologize for this morning. I shouldn't have gotten that frustrated and i want you know that i won't let that happen again." Lillie feels relief, and guilt. She knows Professor Kukui wouldn't just browbeat them for having opinions, that he wouldn't just leave them as he had when he took a walk and that he would listen to them, but the fear was there.

"Kukui-hakase... i mailed in your research proposal... i think you forgot?" Ash's statement turned into a question as he winced. Professor Kukui froze. Then he groaned.

"I'm such an idiot." He mumbles some more about how much he is an idiot.

"One time..." Ash starts, he looks relaxed as he looks up at Professor Kukui. "When i wrote my first article, it was just for Sam to read and help him with his own article." Ash hushes Pikachu who burst into laughter.

"I woke up and couldn't find it anywhere, tore apart everything to find it. And it turns out Gary turned it in for publication and put it under a false name with Sam's permission. Only they forgot to tell me they were doing that and came back to find research papers everywhere." Ash laughs sheepishly as he rubs the back of his head.

"Even my pokemon were helping look for the papers." Gladion burst into laughter, Ash turns to look at him and she begins to giggle.

Ash just put powdered sugar in his hair. And he has no clue.

Lillie was filled with joy. Her life was better than she had ever hoped it would be. This was all she could have asked for in life and more. So much more than what she had used to imagine. This was a family.

Her family. 

That nearly came crashing down when one morning in class, principal Oak informed them that Aether had extended an invitation to them to explore the paradise.

Ash looked nervous, Lillie too felt nervous. It had been four weeks.

Four weeks since she defied mother and had yet to return home.

Would mother ask her to return? She knows that mother would use this opportunity to get to Ash. Mother, who made Ash feel afraid enough that it had taken two weeks for brother to get close enough to touch Ash, after Ash had stopped being afraid.

Lillie smiles at Ash, hoping to show him that she would protect him. She heard Sophocles mutter about ice Lillie, but paid it no mind. She was going to make it difficult for Mother to get near Ash.

Ash was _her_ family now.

Ash, Professor Kukui, Snowy, Pikachu, Mew, Ash's pokemon, Nebby and Brother. They were Lillie's family now.

She wouldn't let anyone take this away from her.

 _Especially_ mother.

* * *

Burnet watched the class depart from the ship.

Lillie, Lusamine's daughter, looked perfectly at home as she stood beside Kukui. Kukui had his hand on her shoulders as he leaned down and whispered something to her, she looked back at him and gave him a determined little nod.

She moved towards Ash, arms wrapped around her alolan vulpix as she told him something. He says something in response, turning to look over his shoulder, she peers behind him then nods. A Scraggy crawls up onto his shoulder and perches there with a leer.

Scraggy catches sight of her looking and uses Scary Face.

It seems to break the tension as the two laugh.

The two walk within three feet of each other, the rest of the class surrounding them, yet giving them space.

Burnet catches sight of Kukui watching her with an unreadable look on his face. She tries to see the Kukui she used to know in his eyes, but she can't. His eyes are focused on his class.

Watching as they leave him behind.

Burnet frowns as Lusamine dances into view, hands clasped together as she introduces herself to the class.

Lillie is smiling pleasantly, standing directly in front of Ash. It doesn't even look like it was done deliberately, as Ash is barely in view. Burnet sees the pale blue skirt with a white trim at the ruffles edge and realizes that Lillie is wearing color. All the pictures of Lillie in Lusamine's office only show her wearing white, with some faint blue accents.

Burnet watches as the kids follow along on the tour. Everything seems fine, the kids are amazed. Asking questions, being allowed closer to certain pokemon.

At one point, Burnet finally leads the tour around the paradise. It had been planned from the start that she would lead the tour, but for some reason Lusamine decided to take part of the tour.

She didn't mind, but Lusamine never just did something out of the blue. Everything she did, she did with a purpose.

Burnet looked back at the kids and noticed she was two short. She stopped the tour.

"We're going go backtrack a bit to see where Ash and Lillie are." The kids instantly turned around and split from her.

"Wait! No! We'll go together-" Burnet huffs and looks towards the camera and waves. 

"I've sent security to round them up." Wicke said from the intercom. 

Burnet sighs and decides to head back to see if she can find the wayward students.

She's in the hall that leads to the labs and hears voices. She frowns, swiping her card to access each lab until she ends up in a lab with Lusamine, Faba, two employees with blue and magenta hair and Lillie and Ash. The two employees are blocking the kids.

"Uh... am i interrupting?" Burnet asks curiously. Lillie turns around, hand clamped tightly around Ash's wrist as she walks with him at her side.

"No. We were just leaving! Thank you." She mutters the last part two the employees who offer her a nod.

Burnet watches Lillie tighten her grip as Ash moves behind her when they begin to near her. A strange Lycanroc nudges Ash, a hand curled around the scruff. Burnet moves back, seeing the stare Lusamine had trained on the two kids. Burnet lets the door close as the two employees begin to get reamed out.

"Pikachu, no. Pikachu!" Ash whispers just as Burnet turns around to see him stuff a Pikachu into his shirt and squirm as he shifts to look at her. He watches her, tense with a wild look in his eyes. 

He keeps his arms wrapped around his stomach where the Pikachu continues to wiggle beneath. He slides back a step when she makes to move, it's tense. Lillie instantly slides before him with a hard look in her eyes.

"We're sorry we separated from the group but as you can see, mother had some words... with us." She has a Pikachu on her shoulder, her arms tighten around her Alolan vulpix.

"No, that's fine. We'll be heading down to the paradise, follow me." Burnet moves to pass them, and a Bayleef pops out of their pokeball. It released a strong spicy scent, it was pungent enough that her eyes instantly watered. Still, she continued forward and began to lead on. It took a minute before she heard one set of steps, then almost immediately after a second pair of steps follow.

She can hear the Bayleef and Lycanroc walking, and she glances back to see Lillie and Ash walking side by side. Bayleef had a set of vines holding onto Ash's elbow. Scraggy was back on his shoulder, and on his opposite shoulder a litten hung. Lycanroc walks behind them, emerald eyes focused on their trainer.

Burnet faces forward again, and bites her lip as a harsh realization slaps in the face.

Lillie was afraid of pokemon... 

But Ash was afraid of humans.

The kids look relieved when Burnet shows up with Ash and Lillie in tow. The girls fuss over Lillie while Ash stands a little ways away and crouches down to speak with his pokemon before he removes his back pack and peeks inside it. Burnet can just make out a Rowlet and the unknown pokemon that Lusamine had taken an interest in.

Lycanroc sits in front of Ash blocking her view. For a second Burnet caught sight of frightened brown eyes before Lycanroc blocked his trainer from view.

She remembers the unreadable look on Kukui's face.

It wasn't unreadble. It was protective.

She remembers him having the same look on his face as he stood beside Ash. Hands in his pocket, nonchalant tone as he kicked them out of his home. He had immediately stood at Ash's side when Lillie was brushed aside and Ash began to cringe away.

"Let's explore the paradise, shall we?" Burnet asks as she catches everyone's attention.

"Ah, am I making you uncomfortable?" Burnet asks when Ash flails back when he notices how close she was. Bayleef inserted herself between them, Lillie edged closer to Ash and eyed Bayleef. She looked at Scraggy in Ash's arms and moved so that she was a few inches beside him. She stood her ground, as did he, even if they both held themselves stiffly. Burnet backed up a few paces and the two relaxed a little and took a few steps away from each other.

"I'm sorry." Burnet apologized, she didn't know what else to do to make the two comfortable. The other students didn't seem to mind, were mostly watching to make sure the two were okay but otherwise let them be. 

Burnet hoped, showing how much care and attention they put into helping pokemon, would help ease some of the tension.

Or at the very least, reassure the two.

But Ash and Lillie remained wary the whole time. 

"Thanks for helping me with the vaccinations." She said gratefully, the two declined commenting and instead focused on putting everything away. She kind of felt like a step mom trying to get with a single father of two. And that was kind of weird...

She wasn't even trying to reach out to Kukui just yet. Not that she hasn't thought about it. She just was afraid that he didn't feel the same. Not after all this time. Their relationship had end amicably, time and research taking them to different routes of life. And now they were once more in the same place, but did Kukui have room in his heart for her? If he was looking after two traumatized children?

No. 

Burnet should just leave it be.

Her heart would always belong to Kukui. But his heart no longer held her in it. And she was fine with that.

~~_Wasn't she?_ ~~

"Pikachu." Ash warned the mischievous Pikachu, Pikachu pouted and wrapped around his shoulders. Another Pikachu rested on Lillie's shoulder with a frown. His eyes were focused on her. Then he would switch focus to look at Ash.

"The field trip is almost over." The two teens whispered to themselves repeatedly. She felt her heart throb at the muttered mantra and told herself not to hold it personally. One had pokephobia and the other just had plain fear and distrust of other people.

Burnet respectfully kept her distance. Making sure to let both Ash and Lillie know where she was, and when a pokemon was going to brought closer.

As the class followed her to the docking bay, Burnet was surprised to see Gladion, a Lycanroc at his side. It had been nearly ten years since Lusamine had seen him last.

"Lillie, Ash." Burnet stares, she couldn't help it, the last picture on Lusamine's desk was of Gladion holding Lillie and smiling. He hadn't actually been seen in Aether in years, let alone in Alola. And yet...

Here he was, in the docking bay with Hobbes ready to drive the class back to Mele Mele. Kukui was just coming down the ramp, Gladion glancing up at him with a small smile.

Kukui chuckled as he said something, then pat Gladion on the head, then turned to look at the students as they drew closer. Wait, did he just preen from the head pat Kukui gave him?!

Burnet smiled at the action, Kukui caught sight of her smile and grinned at her in return. He seemed to catch himself, adopting a neutral look as he quickly glanced down at the students. She could see concern in his frown as the students surrounded Ash and Lillie.

Gladion reaches out and says something, his Lycanroc pets Ash's Lycanroc. Litten is passed over to Gladion, the feline winding around his neck and going back to snoozing. The Pikachu on Lillie's shoulders jumps onto Ash's, it says something to the Pikachu in his arms and then Burnet can't see anything else.

Maybe this is how it should be. Burnet's time had come and gone. Kukui was a father now.

And Burnet...

She had Munchlax. And Aether.

His three kids crowded around him and for some reason, they share equal looks of exasperation. 

* * *

Ash was able to relax after they put the Aether field trip behind them. Of course this was the time that Nebby decided to show a new move off. And teleporting to random places became a game. 

It passed the time while construction was still happening back at Kukui-hakase's home. Still, Ash made sure to disabuse Nebby of reaching out and teleporting anyone else without their express permission. Ash didn't mind, and as long as Ash was able to let someone know he was stepping out, they could play. But Nebby needed to learn to let Ash study in school and not interrupt class.

Nebby was learning. Though there were a few mishaps. Such as ending up on the school roof, standing at the edge of a volcano, ending up in some cave where he thinks he might have seen Gladion, ending up in some dilapidated mansion, and on one notable occasion, some type of ruins.

During this time, Ash also winds up back at Kiawe's farm. The first time had actually been pretty fun, it was almost as exciting as their battles. Though they had only been having battles very recently, Ash feels that he has made another friend. And because of his growing friendship with Kiawe, Sophocles is also opening up to him. It probably helps that Togedemaru is very taken with Pikachu and is always ready to play.

Ash now has more than a handful of friends! He's starting to feel like himself again.

Then Nebby's teleporting ended with Ash in Aether foundation three times.

The first two times had been very brief, and he hadn't stayed very long. Though he did wonder where in Aether he was to end up in a dark tiled hall. It had only been because of Pikachu that he realized be was in Aether.

The third time was the last time he ended up there, and it put an end to the teleporting as construction had finally ended.

Pikachu took time aside and managed to gently persuade Nebby to keep Aether off limits when Lusamine managed to catch them the third time. And were it not for the fact that Burnet-hakase had stumbled across them.

Ash doesn't like to think about what might have happened. He'd shut down as soon as her arm clamped down on his wrist.

When he'd come to, he was on Kukui-hakase roof, wrapped around Nebby and Mew. Bayleef's head was on his, Pikachu was sprawled across his neck, Litten on his feet, Rowlet on his shoulder, and Lycanroc behind him. He'd apparently been up there for several hours.

Gladion had spotted him, and had vanished after informing Kukui-hakase. 

After Ash opted out of dinner that night. Had secluded himself in his room and kept his pokemon close. Fear threatened to consume at the thought of what ifs.

So similar to the what ifs that plagued his nightmares. Thankfully none of them had been violent enough to have him screaming himself awake. Though there had been plently of nightmares since his first night.

Ash curled up around Nebby and Scraggy, exhaustion filling him as Mew swam through the air in a vaguely hypnotic motion.

Ash sleepily rubbed his eyes when something tapped his window, he opened his eyes and looked up to see Tapu Koko. He huffed and nodded before rolling back into his covers, checking on Nebby and Scraggy on their shared bed, then Rowlet on his perch, Litten and Lycanroc sharing a bed and then to Pikachu and Bayleef asleep on his bed.

He sighed and unfurled the blankets, waving a blanket for Tapu Koko to accept as the Guardian went to sleep.

Ash decides to check on everyone. He knows it isn't healthy to get up and check on everyone, but he can't get the idea out of his head that something might happen if he doesn't check. It was easier before the renovations, now everyone had their own room. Rock, paper, scissors had taken care of who got what rooms.

Ash getting the room on the side of the house, Lillie keeping the loft and Gladion getting the room above the loft.

It was actually funny how that worked out. The last room was a guest room made for Kukui-hakase if he ever decided to get in contact with Burnet-hakase. Ash still doesn't know why the Professor doesn't contact her, Ash was okay with him having friends over.

He knows she is not like her boss. She was nice.

Gladion saying there wouldn't be much sleeping, was a confusing comment until Ash remembers that he hasn't seen her in years. Then he knows that they will be catching up. Too bad the Professor still hadn't worked up the courage to reach out. Ash saw some email drafts written up that had never been sent. He hadn't meant to snoop, just that Kukui-hakase had left them open when Ash had to send emails. He didn't read them, just saw the email address and respectfully saved and closed them without looking.

"Pikapi?" Ash glances down to see Pikachu waiting by the ladder to the loft. He climbed the loft ladder and peered around to see Snowy asleep in her bed, and Mew was curled into a ball in Lillie's arms. He glanced towards the door leading to the tower room and sees that it's closed. Gladion only leaves it closed when he isn't inside. Guess he hasn't come home yet.

Home.

Ash sneaks a peek at Pikachu, Pikachu already seems to have guessed his thought process and pats his chest with a firm nod.

"This is our home too... huh?" Pikachu nods again.

Ash grumbled and scratched at his head before giving up and climbing down to return to his bed. The door opened behind him, he crouched down with his fists tucked close to his chin but shoulder width apart.

* * *

Ash whirled around, he adopted a fighting stance that looked vaguely like a Lucario.

Gladion froze at the door with a guilty look.

Ash huffed, struggling to relax his guard, a whispered call of 'Pikapi' helped him relax a little even if he didn't drop his fists. Gladion kept his hands up and sat on the floor, waiting patiently for Ash to get his nerves to calm. Pikachu was nuzzling his cheek as he breathed through clenched teeth.

It took a while but Ash looked drained as he slouched against the ladder as if was the most comfortable surface in the world.

Gladion didn't dare move, he kept waiting. Leaving it up to Ash to let him know when he was ready for Gladion to move. It was a few minutes more, Ash shakily gave him a thumbs up, that Gladion began to speak.

"I broke into Aether, just to check. To make sure." He started, licking his lips as he brought out a pokeball, the very same that had a Pokemon he would not show Ash or Lillie. He remembers telling them so long ago, that it was for Lillie's safety. Ash and Lillie had shared a look, and let the matter drop. But now, Gladion's shoulders seemed to drag. It felt as if they were held down by a heavy weight.

"I had to make sure." He whispered glancing at the pokeball as if it held all the answers, not that it would. No. He couldn't keep secrets anymore.

Ash was so open and honest with him.

He was helping Lillie heal and was finally healing in turn.

Mother was trying to drag him into something and dragging his trauma to the surface, he could see it.

The hesitation to reach out to Kukui at times when he had been okay with it before. He wanted to protect them from her. And to do that.

_He couldn't keep his secrets anymore._

"Tomorrow, is it okay if I show you and Lillie something?" Ash hummed tiredly, propping himself up and squinting at him before nodding with a yawn. Gladion could feel himself grin, he shoved the pokeball into his pocket and stood up. He made his way to Ash and helped him to his bed, completely unsurprised by the Guardian Deities around.

He removed his shoes and left them on the far side of the ladder so they wouldn't get in anyone's way and then quietly climbed the ladder. He checked on Lillie then opened his room door, leaving it open as he climbed the stairs to his room and changed into a comfortable set of pajamas with little Rockruffs running.

Apparently Ash had also bought the pajamas Lillie wore.

They were pretty cute.

Maybe he and Lillie should get him a pair so they all matched. 

The next morning, Kukui tells them he will be downstairs answering emails, and working on some work that he has neglected. Gladion uses this opportunity to talk to Ash and Lillie without prying eyes.

He feels a little guilt that he was excluding Kukui, but Ash and Lillie needed the answers more than he did. They deserved to hear his secrets first.

They are all sitting at the kitchen table, watching each other.

"Lillie..." Gladion sighs, clutching Null's pokeball tightly in one hand. He could still see that day in his mind's eye.

_Lillie lying across Null's back. Tear tracks on her cheeks. The day she spent unconscious and extremely ill for the next three days. Her utter terror when she tried to hug Clefairy to comfort herself only to violently recoil in fear. Her tears as she looked to him, his guilt for having failed her._

Then he thinks about the fact that she can touch Snowy, Pikachu and Mew.

"When we were much younger, you got lost exploring Aether foundation. When i found you... there was some strange pokemon i have never seen before, and haven't seen since." Gladion could still see the image of it.

_It was holding Lillie clearly intending to take her into that iridescent vortex. Asking Faba to do something, anything but the man hadn't moved, heavy trotting echoed in his mind as he sees himself crying out Lillie's name with his hand outstretched. He can still hear her voice crying out for him as she stretched out her hand._

"It was trying to take you away. It almost took you away and i was **useless."** His voice cracks, the anger and guilt he feels burns in his chest, a tear rolls down his cheek.

"Then another pokemon saved you. It saved you but by then, whatever that thing was... it hurt you so badly."

_Lillie's small chest rose and fell rapidly. She was so pale. But her cheeks were bright red, sweat covered her as she slept fitfully. Mother cried as she held Lillie's hand._

"When you woke, you couldn't hold Clefairy." Lillie looked at him, she looked afraid. Ash watched the two of them with a calm expression.

"That pokeball has the pokemon that saved her." He states quietly, Gladion nods.

"This is Silvally, a chimera pokemon created by Aether Foundation to combat something called Ultra Beast. They were deemed failures and locked away. This one was punished for escaping confinement to rescue you." He says as he rises to his feet and moves further away. He looks at Lillie and Ash, one nods hesitantly and the other offers him a confident nod. 

"Come on out Silvally." Lillie stands up so quickly her chair skids back and falls to the floor. Her hands are clenched to her chest, she looks frightened. She's pale and trembling. Ash slowly reaches out, gently grasping her elbow as he moves closer. He gives Gladion a look when he makes to return Silvally, Silvally kneels down until he is sitting. Silver eyes watch Lillie as he lowers his head to rest on his talons.

Gladion can hear a racket downstairs but only has eyes for Lilie.

Ash keeps moving. Slowly, little by little until he is completely covering Silvally with his body. He is holding Nebby in one arm, the other remains on Lillie's elbow as he takes a step back. He takes another, step back until his finger tips are touching her and she looks at him with tears in her eyes.

She lowers her hands and grabs hold of Ash's hand, crying as she slowly kneels. Ash kneels down beside her and looks at Gladion from over his shoulder. Gladion makes his way to Lillie's side and rubs her back just as the door behind them explodes open.

"Kids!" Kukui shouts, pokeball flying through the air as he sees Silvally. A Braviary glides forward, ready to attack but Mew lands on Silvally, stopping Braviary from attacking. But Kukui had already skidded to a stop in front of them with his arms outstretched by the time his Braviary had stopped.

Gladion looked up at Kukui's back.

He hadn't hesitated to defend them when he thought they were in danger. Hadn't hesitated to put his back to them and was ready to defend them with not only his pokemon, but his body as well.

Gladion slowly reached out, and tugged on the back of the white labcoat.

Kukui had another pokeball in his hand. Was he going to let out Incenroar?

He was fully prepared to expose himself as Masked Royal, wasn't he?

This man. He was good one, kind and so very warm. No wonder _~~BOSS~~_ said he found someone good to live with. Kukui glanced back at them, concern in his eyes as he gave them all once over.

Gladion doesn't know how no one else beside ~~_BOSS_~~ and himself, haven't realized that Kukui is Masked Royal.

Its obvious.

A hand gently grasps his wrist.

"Silvally is my pokemon." Gladion says, it's strange to see Kukui defend them. He was only used to having two rough and tough people lending him a hand when he needs it. Kukui has a hand on his wrist, Gladion realizes that he hadn't let go of Kukui's coat. He lets go, Kukui turns and kneels down and wraps them in a hug as he sighs in relief.

Gladion feels warm.

He relaxes into the hold, he feels Lillie settle between him and Ash. Ash shifts and Gladion remembers that Ash doesn't like to be touched.

Ash relaxes against them with a peaceful smile.

This is Gladion's family. In his home with his siblings and Kukui, Gladion shuts his eyes and hugs back.


	12. And The Hardest Part Of All Of This Is, I Don't Think I Know My Way Back Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric : the grey - icon for hire

Ash basks in the warmth that everyone is feeling. He relaxes into the hug and extends his arms, wrapping his arm around Kukui-hakase's back and Lillie's back, his arms overlap with Gladion's and Kukui-hakase's. 

Wait.

He's hugging Kukui-hakase, Lillie and Gladion.

_Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_What is going on?! When did this happen?_

* * *

Lillie's tears are not scared tears, they are tears of relief.

She knows now, what happened to her.

For years, she has lived with this all consuming fear and no known explanation.

No cause, and no one would tell her what happened to make her this way.

She had lost her brother and mother due to it and had spent so many years alone and afraid. 

Then Ash had come into her life and she was able to touch pokemon. Her life had changed for the better. She was able to spend more time with her friends. She could touch and hold three pokemon.

Brother had come back into her life.

She had a room that she had picked and was able to decorate with her brother. Brother was living under the same roof as her.

Professor Kukui, who has always been on her side, had taken her in. No questions asked, and even went out of his way to make her feel welcome despite her dropping herself into his care.

Arms were wrapped around her as she cried. She was so happy here!

Is this what family love feels like?

* * *

Gladion had a realization dawn on him. What the hell was going?! When had this happened? Why was he okay with this?

He needed to talk to ~~_BOSS_~~ and figure out how to deal with all of these new feelings.

But for now he would play it cool.

No one else was panicking. 

He wasn't going to panic.

* * *

_Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!******$%@**********#%*#(******$! &*$(%**@#%^&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_He fucked up!!!_

_He messed up real bad!_

_He was touching Ash! And Gladion! Without their consent!!!!!!_

_Wait, no._

_Keep it cool Kukui._

_His kids weren't reacting._

Shit.

Double shit!

He almost exposed himself as Masked Royal, though Ash and Lillie don't know about his side, _side_ career yet. They don't watch tv, maybe Gladion knows about Masked Royal. Good thing he hadn't outright called Incenroar first. 

That had scared him. Hearing a chair fall over, seeing some unknown pokemon and his kids on the floor with Lillie crying.

Wait.

What. 

His kids...

 _His_ kids?

_His Kids?!_

_When did they become his kids?! He was in trouble._

_Fuck!_

Kukui waits another minute, basking in the warmth and then clears his throat. Three sets of eyes look up at him as he leans back. He clears his throat again as he nervously moves his arms, Ash hugs Nebby closer in response. Lillie wipes her tears, and Gladion looks behind him to Silvally. 

"So..." Gladion clears his throat and shuffles back.

"I told Lillie why she has pokephobia. Silvally saved her many years ago, and i saved him." Gladion looks at the masked quadruped with a sad look in his eyes.

"They put that mask on him as punishment." Oh.

Kukui looks over at the heavy metal mask, Silvally looks forlornly at them as it runs a talon across the mask. It creates a horrid shrieking noise but does not budge. How cruel.

Kukui listens to Gladion's story. How he watched and felt helpless. How he had gone back to Aether foundation to figure out what happened, to get answers for Lillie and himself. How he found Silvally bound in chains, a mask fitted over his head. Freeing Silvally and then making the spontaneous decision to runaway from him after overhearing his mother discuss plans to further her research. The dangers of UB energy that affected humans needed further study.

That her children would have to take a backseat now that there was no danger.

Gladion had a hard life. Even mentions of two kind people helping him out and giving him psuedo-siblings. He must have been very desperate.

Kukui wonders if he will meet the man Gladion has high regards and respect for.

He looks over at Lillie, who is drying her tears, she looks relieved. And he knows that, for her, she has been working on healing with only half the story.

She must be so relieved to finally know why she developed this trauma, relieved to know that she didn't just end up like this out of nowhere when she had been able to touch pokemon before. 

Kukui wonders, a little guiltily, if maybe he will find out what happened to Ash.

He doesn't say anything about it though, instead he takes a look at Ash. Ash is looking down at Nebby, he has a thoughtful look on his face, Pikachu is watching Ash and Lillie.

"We found part of Lillie's trigger, it'll be easier for her to understand her fears." Ash says, shifting slightly to look at Silvally. Kukui glances too, and from the corner of his eyes, he sees Lillie stiffen, as he turns back she relaxes and he realizes that Silvally is what made her tense.

Okay. Found trigger doesn't mean immediate healing.

Lillie still has a long way to go before she'll be able to look at her trigger. Kukui glances over at Gladion who nods and returns Silvally without a word.

"Okay. Looks like we're going to have to establish some ground rules, probably should have done this six weeks ago... but here we are." Kukui claps his hands and stands up. He extends his hands and watches as all three reach out and accept his hands.

He lifts them all up to their feet and they move to the table, Ash effortlessly kicking the chair back into position.

"Okay, these are the ground rules between Ash and I." Kukui says as he sets a paper onto the table. Ash peers at it and takes out a pen, he scratches off a few things. It makes his chest feel funny.

  1. ~~Don't get closer than 3ft. **5ft.**~~
  2. Do not wake Ash up, let Pikachu wake him up.
  3. Don't ask him about his injuries, he will come to Kukui if he needed to.
  4. Don't ask about the legendary pokemon. Really.
  5. **~~Don't~~.**
  6. Do _not_ bring up the last region Ash went to.
  7. _**Ever.**_
  8. ~~Don't sneak up behind Ash.~~
  9. ~~Don't touch him.~~
  10. ~~If you hear Ash scream from nightmares, leave him alone.~~
  11. ~~If Ash doesn't go to sleep, do not make him. He will go to sleep when is ready.~~
  12. Don't separate him from his pokemon.
  13. ~~Don't comment about his appetite. Pikachu and Bayleef will sort him out.~~ Can leave a plate out, Ash will pick at it until he finishes.
  14. Ash will pay for the pokemon food.+ groceries.
  15. ~~If Ash isn't around in the morning, he will be by shortly.~~
  16. If the legendary are being bothersome then let Ash know. He'll sort them out.



"I need to know what you two are comfortable with, and uncomfortable with." Lillie and Gladion look at him and nod.

"I think everything is fine the way it is. I don't really have anything to offer." Ash looks at Lillie, Kukui does too. Lillie is biting her lips with a thoughtful look.

"I don't have any complaints either. Living with you is already changing so many things that were out of my control. I'm happy here." Kukui feels his heart give a little throb. He knows for all the money in the world that Lusamine makes, Lillie had been alone for so long before she started school. It's barely been about five years since then.

"Well, if any of that changes, be sure to let me know." Kukui smiles, looks back at the list and then feels pride that Ash has come a long way from that first night. Sitting on his couch surrounded by pokemon as they make this list.

Ash fidgets, looking at Kukui then at Lillie and Gladion before he finally seems to make up his mind.

"Kukui-hakase..." he starts then stops, looks confused for a second before starting again. "You too. Um... You can tell us what you feel comfortable with." Kukui smiles, Ash looks so earnest, sincere as he looks at Kukui with imploring eyes. Lillie and Gladion nod at him too, how sweet.

"I will." Ash shakes his head, looks to Gladion and Lillie who share looks.

"Burnet-hakase is... she's nice... and i know you miss her." Ash stumbled over his words, glancing at Pikachu who said something to him. "And you probably aren't reaching out to her cause I wasn't comfortable with people i don't know, but you said she was your friend." Kukui feels as if his heart is about to implode from embarrassment and feelings of awe for Ash.

"Ash..." Kukui begins delicately, Lillie and Gladion share a look then face Ash with blank expressions. "I think you misunderstood..." Ash glances at Pikachu who shakes his head and turns to face Kukui with a hand gesture so human, Kukui almost wanted to write about it for his paper.

"Burnet isn't an old friend, well she is." Kukui can feel his ears heat up as he sees Ash stare at him without comprehension. Oh geez. "We used to date." Nothing.

Was... did he have to spell it out?

Ash blinks, looks at Pikachu who has his arms crossed over his chest. He says something to Ash, Ash hums.

"Like Brock." Pikachu nods then says something else, then Ash turns to look at Gladion before looking back to Kukui with furrowed brows.

"What does that have to do with the guest room not being used much." Kukui buries his face in his hands as Lillie squeaks and Gladion snorts. Koko, why?

Kukui had three kids. None biologically his. He was not going to have this talk. Nope.

No.

Nu-uh!

* * *

Ash walks along the beach with his pokemon. Pikachu and Lycanroc darting in and out of the water as it ebbs and flows. 

Rowlet and Nebby are sleeping in his backpack, Scraggy is standing on his shoulder, watching the others walking beside him. Ash glances up at the sky, a familiar hum echoes, a croon just at the edge of his hearing. It resonates within him as he changes his course slightly and then he sits down on the sand and waits.

The breeze is nice.

"Pikapi?" Ash looks down, Pikachu places a paw on his knees with a concerned look.

"I guess it isn't like Brock. I wonder why Kukui-hakase got all embarrassed." Ash huffs, arms curling under his knees as he tilts his head slightly to rest his cheek on top of Scraggy's head. Scraggy smiles at him.

The crooning is back, it fills him with warmth. Ash shuts his eyes, he can see water, and pokemon swimming. He opens his eyes just as the water explodes upward creating a fine mist in the air. A rainbow shimmers into view as does Lugia. Ash grins at the legendary pokemon.

"How's it going?" Lugia lands just at the edge of the water and smiles down at him.

 **"Greetings Ĉ̵͓̇͑͂ḩ̸̥̝͈̜̪̈̐̉̐̓͌̍́͒̾̈́̕o̵̧̡̮͉͍̣̓̄̐͝ş̵̮̠͔̙̮̯͚̫̙͇̽̇̌̆͗̍̉̑̆̄̕͘͜͝͠e̶͎̺̼̹̍̑̿̏̒̍̈́͒ṇ̸̡̣̩̬͚͍̟̲̪̺̈́̀̒ͅ ̷̜̱̙̥̰̹̼̪̙̫̫͔̺̟̤̓̾͌͝Ǫ̶̛͔̺̭͚̣͕͈̈̒̓̃ͅń̸̫̯̰͍̺̠̝̺̙̹̖̟̹̎͑̈́͑̒͋̓̚͘̕͝͝ͅe̸̡̨̬͚̬̟̪̩̩̬̳̋̊̏͊͑̚."** For a moment, Ash's ears fill with static but he shakes it off as he rises to greet Lugia. He knows better than to focus on that, especially when Lugia always greeted him like this.

"Hey Lugia." He reaches forward, rests his hand on Lugia's snout when he bows down. Ash leans forward and rests his head against Lugia's. He feels warmth, he can smell the ocean and an ancient melody hums in his veins. Ash takes a step back and feels more grounded. He doesn't know why Lugia started visiting him back in Pallet, he just knows that being in Lugia's presence has helped ground him more than anything ever has.

"These are my new friends. Lycanroc, Litten, Rotom, and Nebby-chan and Rowlet are here in my bag." Ash says over the sound of pictures rapidly being taken as Rotom flits around while he removes his bag. Ash shows Lugia the pokemon within, Lugia leans in close and breaths a soft puff of air at Rowlet and Nebby. Both screw up their eyes and peer blearily around. Rowlet coos in confusion as he looks up at Lugia, Nebby crawls out and floats closer. Nebby looks to Ash who nods and then floats closer to Lugia.

 **"Hello young one."** Nebby starts then laughs. Mew darts in and pokes a paw at Lugia's nose. 

Then a game of tag breaks out.

Ash is laughing as he trips and stumbles then crashes into the water. He shoots out of the water.

"Cold!!!!" He shrieks as he runs out and hops about as he shivers. Pikachu falls over laughing and gets tagged, he shoots to his feet and darts over to Ash and spins on his heels. Pikachu's tail taps his shin and sand is flung his way as Pikachu speeds off. Ash gives chase, he manages to reach out and snag Lycanroc by his left flank before he darts off after his stealth tag. He's laughing once more as Lycanroc pounces on Lugia, only for the legendary to slam a column of water at him and divert him to Mew. Mew is busy giggling to notice and gets tagged.

"Is that Lugia!" Ash yelps as he trips backwards into a water column, falls through it and lands back first on the sand. Rowlet lands downs beside him and tilts his head, Lana is staring at them.

Ash sits up, his pokemon all stop playing and face her.

"Yeah." He responds, Lana is standing beside Lugia within seconds. Ash climbs to his feet and dusts himself off, not that it helps when he's already wet and landed in sand. Lana walks around Lugia, reaching to touch him before marching up to Ash.

"When did you catch Lugia?" Ash frowns, he would never do that.

"Lugia's my friend. I'm not going to catch him when he has his own duties... that's just selfish." Ash says, Lana pauses then glances down at Popplio.

"Selfish?" She queries in a soft voice.

Ash frowns as he remembers her dream. To use Popplio's bubbles to explore the vast sea and meet mysterious sea pokemon. Ash looks up at Lugia, Lugia smiles warmly down at him and he smiles back. Lana was kind.

"Some legendaries let people catch them, but Lugia has an important duty to the Orange Islands." Lana watches him, usually she is unreadable to him. It was like looking at water and seeing only your reflection, but just now, she smiles at him and its like looking at the water and finally seeing what's beneath the surface.

"You really are God blessed." She says nothing more and instead turns to face Lugia with admiration in her eyes.

She stays and plays tag, even managing to tag Ash before they both froze. Then Ash tagged her back and ran.

"Bye Lugia!" Ash and Lana waved as Lugia returned to the sea. The sun was going to start setting soon. 

"We should hang out again." Lana says before walking off. Ash looks at his pokemon who stare back at him, Ash hums to himself and decides monday he will eat lunch with Lillie and Lana and Mallow, if she is okay with that.

"I made another friend." Ash grins, he can't wait to tell the others.

"Mew." Mew giggles, circling him and prodding him where he is heavily caked in sand.

"Yeah, i should clean up." He looks for his bag, Bayleef has it. He dives into the ocean and squeals as he practically jumps out. He shivers and huddles into himself with a sneeze. Litten launches a fire fang at him and the water evaporates as Ash crosses his arms in front of his face as he braces for the move. He catches Litten and gives him a few chin scratches as thanks.

"Let's go home." Ash freezes, home sounded nice. Yeah. They were going home...

Right after a nap.

* * *

Gladion could see the second Kukui became too embarrassed to continue their conversation. Ash looks confused as he look between them all. Pikachu too looks at them, paws crossed over his chest as he thinks.

"Why don't you take a walk Ash, i think Kukui needs some time alone." Gladion says as he rises from his seated position. He makes his way to the door, Lillie and Ash following him. Ash splits off and walks down along the coast. Lillie chooses to quietly follow him, he leads her to town where they just walk.

It's peaceful. He sneaks peeks at her, seeing her joy as they look around. She's really grown up. He's missed so much trying to get stronger, searching for answers about what he'd witnessed, digging for clues about their father's disappearance. 

"I'm proud of the person you've become." Gladion says as he reaches over and rests his hand on Lillie's hair. He doesn't ruffle her hair, he knows she always hated that, but she did like when he pet her head when they were little. Lillie smiles at him.

"You've also grown up brother. You're a strong trainer, and you passed a grand trial." Lillie looks down, sees Lycanroc walking beside him and smiles.

"Thank you for being a good partner to my brother." Lycanroc grins, barking happily in acknowledgement.

Lillie and Gladion are nearing home when they see Ash asleep under a palm tree. His pokemon are all curled around him, Nebby and Scraggy tucked between his arms. Gladion shakes his head, Lillie chuckling. Gladion walks over, and leans back against the tree, a nice breeze ruffles his hair.

"Can't beat 'em, might as well join then." He says as he sinks down, Lillie smiles and sits down beside him, she leans against his shoulder and lets Snowy sit on her lap.

Gladion shuts his eyes as Lycanroc curls up on front of him and shuts his eyes.

Gladion grumbles and swats away whatever was near his cheek. Possibly Lycanroc or Umbreon, Silvally was a lot colder than either of them and was more noticeable. Again, something touched his face and he groaned, opening his eyes to see Nebby reaching out to touch him again. A cloudy might be a finger lands on his nose.

Suddenly they are no longer on the beach. Ash and Lillie fall back onto a wooden floor and awake with twin cries of pain. They sit up, rubbing their heads and have two very different reactions. Ash just stares at his surroundings like he's seen it before and was not impressed. Lillie was freaking out, one arm hugging Snowy and the other waving around as she stuttered questions at a rapid pace.

"We're on Ula'Ula island, Shady house in Po town." Lillie calms down and looks curious, Ash grabs hold of Nebby and gentle chids the baby. Mew changes forms to become a Pikachu and watches him with knowing eyes. Gladion heaves a sigh, looks to Ash and Lillie and then listens. He hears a faint noise, music.

"Ok. Listen, I was going to be coming here sometime this week, did you want to go straight home?" Ash looks thoughtful, side eyes Lillie then hugs Nebby closer.

"I made Kukui-hakase really embarrassed, i don't think i know _know_ what dating is. Or what it means to date someone..." Lillie watches Ash, she looks down, fingers curling into Snowy's fur.

"I don't know how to interact with Professor Burnet if Professor Kukui does start dating her... I've only had Mallow and Lana for a few years." She looks troubled, Gladion knows that the three of them had practically told Kukui it was okay to date, but it looks like all of them were unsure how they should proceed.

"I know someone that can give us advice. Follow me." Gladion says rising to his feet as he leads them through the halls of Shady house to ~~_BOSS._~~

He goes to listens to what Gladion has to say then he has to get confirmation from the only one who can understand ~~_BOSS's_~~ advice. They usually are able to help him make sense of what was said.

He doesn't give him bad advice, but he goes about it in a strange way that usually only one person can decipher easily. Gladion was thankfully they had taken him in all thisetyears ago.

He lead Ash and Lillie down a few halls and went up one set of stairs until music was heard clearly.

Gladion tilts his head at Lycanroc who runs ahead, his paws thumping heavily as nails briefly touched the ground. The music shuts off as Lycanroc runs into the door, it slams open the half closed door and howls.

"Argh! Gladion!!! Grab your damn mutt!" Gladion smirks, Lycanroc had been given to him as a newly hatched pup and as a result had developed a special greeting for ~~_BOSS_~~. Such as chewing his hair.

Gladion steps in through the door and sees ~~_BOSS_~~ sitting in his large plush chair with a dark scowl. The room is in tatters, his fingers steepled as he rests his chin on them.

"Welcome home." Gladion nods and hears Ash and Lillie shuffle behind him.

"This is Guzma." Gladion says to them, Guzma straightens and glares menacingly. 

At least as menacingly as one can when a canine is chewing their hair.

* * *

"I see you have a new family member." Guzma remarks as Gladion clicks his tongue, Lycanroc gives him one last lick and lumbers towards Gladion with a laugh. Guzma frowns as he looks the kid over, hold up, wasn't this boy usually in the company of Kukui? Guzma focuses on the kid, eyeing the pokemon around him. Yep.

This is the same boy. Rumored to be God Blessed or some shit. And this kid is with Kukui? His chest burns with rage and hurt in equal measure as he pictures the man. He moved islands to get away from him, yet he somehow always ran into news about him. 

The kid jumps as if sensing his rage. Then a Pikachu on his shoulder jumps and stays airborne. 

Wait.

What.

The Pikachu floats closer to him, watching him curiously. Guzma stares back, he leans onto the arm rest and pillows his cheek on his palm. The curious mouse tilts its head, Gladion starts walking. Guzma watches him from the corner of his eyes. The kid is peeking at him, nudging Gladion forward and his sister follows behind. 

They stop about two feet away, the kid nervously shuffles into view.

"Pikachu." He says opening his arm up, the other is wrapped around a Scraggy. As soon the Pikachu was in his arms he was once more hiding behind Gladion who had a hand resting on his hip and a small fond smile on his lips.

"This is Ash. You already know about my sister, but this is Lillie." She peered out from behind him and waved, she was holding an Alolan vulpix.

Hold up.

Didn't she have pokephobia?

"Our foster parent wants to start dating. We need advice." Gladion stated, Guzma got up from his couch chair and pulled out a few water bottles and handed them to Gladion who passed them out and sat down. The two behind him traded looks and then sat down. Guzma pointedly did not look at the never before seen Lycanroc that was playfully playing with Gladion's Lycanroc.

And he even, very pointedly, did not look at the Pikachu that was now a Rockruff. If this Ash kid really was God Blessed, the less he should question. He was already branded a heretic. No need to further muddy his reputation.

"Congrats on getting an actual functioning parental unit." Guzma said raising his water in toast, Gladion returned the gesture and dipped his head in thanks. Guzma turned to look at them with a glare, his gaze sharpened on Ash who stiffened.

Another Pikachu appeared on his shoulder sparked, a Bayleef looked away from a colorful cloud it was rocking and glared at him, Gladion shifted slightly. A simple stretch covered the teen and Guzma took a deep breath in and let it out. He rubbed his head and sighed 

"Okay. What are you looking for? Girlie over there should see Plumeria later for more advice." Gladion tilted his head in acknowledgement. Guzma is actually very knowledgeable about people, he's gotta be if he is going to cause chaos, and not get arrested.

"What are you expecting from his partner? Do you want have a relationship with them? Are you uncomfortable with the idea of K-" Guzma clears his throat. "Your foster parent dating?" The three kids share looks, Gladion looks over at him as he fidgets with his sleeve. Huh. Gladion is really concerned about this, he stopped that habit several years ago.

"He's done so much for us..." he looks hesitant but at Guzma's pointed look he looks down. "I'm afraid things would change. Burnet works at Aether foundation." Guzma nods. She works for Lusamine then.

~~_Guzma can see blood, his hands are coated in it._ ~~

He gives himself a shake, focuses on Gladion.

Stop it.

No use dwelling over the past!

"Things will change. Just as they changed when you were taken in. That's the way of life, always changing, shifting course. If it were stagnant then no one would get anything done." He sees them all look down, Guzma feels bad saying it like that even if it was the truth.

"You can't control change, but you can control whether it will be good or bad for you." Guzma ignores the cloud like pokemon giggling as Lycanroc vanishes, the Bayleef scolds it and Lycanroc appears with a berry in its mouth. 

Right.....

Moving on.

"You need to have a discussion with him and let him know your concerns. The key to any relationship," his lips twist with bitter resentment even as his chest burns with betrayal. "Is communication." The kid and Gladion's sister look visibly hurt as they watch him.

"Fuck, no." He says as he realizes these two are likely aura sensitive or latent psychics. Gladion, used to his curses doesn't mind, his sister wrinkles her nose and the kid looks him dead in the eyes. He frowns lightly, glancing down at his Scraggy who has been continuously using Scary look at him.

Guzma sits up and runs his hands through his hair. Takes a deep breath, slowly lets it out and looks at the two maybe Aura sensitive or at the very least latent Psychics.

"You two." He barks, they jump and look at him, Gladion's gaze sharpens as he looks at him. "You already know my next question, answer truthfully." A look of mistrust enters the kid's eyes. His pokemon sense the change and turn to face him.

"No. I don't owe _you_ anything." He whispers in a furious voice. There is terror in his eyes as he extends a hand to grab hold of Gladion's sister. Guzma knows he has to tread very carefully, Aether had a lot of documentation on what happened to Aura users before they went extinct. _(Extinct like some type of species that didn't deserve humanity.)_ And the experiments performed of psychics until the Kanto Saffron gym leader put a halt to everything as a young child.

"No, you don't, but you owe the people your living with that much. At the very least." Gladion looks confused, but he keeps quiet at Guzma's warning look. Terror like this doesn't come from nowhere, it comes from experience. 

It comes from a _painful_ experience.

"Pikapi?" He can see hesitation, can read the questions this kid is asking himself as if it was Guzma, himself in this situation. ~~_Hadn't he been in this situation and burned for it?_~~

"This is your family right?" The kid nods, Gladion turns so he is facing the two younger teens. "You don't keep dangerous secrets from them, you'll end up getting hurt. Not just hurting yourself, but hurting them when they realize that they've hurt you too." He bows his head, not before Guzma sees the tears welling in his eyes.

"I _can't."_ His voice cracks around a sob.

Guzma's heart goes out for this kid. God blessed and part of a rare breed of humans and he carries the trauma from it like a badge for all to see _if_ they _know_ to look.

Guzma looks to the sister, she looks hurt, tears running down her cheeks. She looks down at her hand, glances at her brother then clenches her fist as she hastily scrubs her tears.

"I'm not psychic, and I can't use aura." She declares, she squeezes the hand holding onto her wrist.

"But I know what aura is. And you carry a lot of pain, the way that Ash does. Just like Ash, I can feel that you're a good and kind person." Guzma wonders what can traumatize someone so badly they can no longer trust their instincts. Red eyes look at him then fade to brown, the owner of the gaze does not meet his eyes again.

"I'll tell them." He whispers in a painfully young voice. Guzma does not feel satisfaction for pushing some this hurt to betray theirselves like this.

But it is necessary. Empathy was not something that should be treated so carelessly. _Especially_ if they were carrying around this much trauma.

"Give yourself time, but tell them. The longer you wait," Guzma thinks about the pokemon who had high empathy and lived in seclusion to avoid being overwhelmed. "The harder it will be for all of you." His shoulders are shaking as he bites his lip and nods. He watches Gladion hold out his hand, patiently keeping his distance and not assuming his touch was welcome.

It takes a few minutes, the pokemon gathering around and a whispered conversation between the real Pikachu and his trainer before he reaches out and accepts the hand. He slumps against his bayleef and whispers something. Gladion nods, then he does something Guzma can't see and faces him again.

"So communication aside, what else?" Gladion has his hands behind him, no doubt holding his sister's hand, and his brother's. Guzma feels proud to see how far Gladion has come.

Guzma nods, he is willing to give them space. Guzma would never push someone to hurt themselves. He wasn't that type of person.

He especially wouldn't push someone who was trying so hard to better themselves and heal. Unlike Guzma who had given up after suffering again for his naivety.

"You need to set boundaries. Figure out what boundaries you all have, even if there aren't any, get together to discuss them any way." He sees recognition in Gladion's eyes.

"We did that already." He doesn't look behind him, but its a near thing.

"There's a list." Whispers a hoarse voice. Guzma nods, points for that guy actually doing his homework then.

"You need to set up boundaries with the person he decides to date. Especially if you have feelings of fear or mistrust, she works for your mother right?" The kids all nod, the fake Pikachu, now an Eevee is rolling on the floor. The cloud is being chased by Scraggy.

The kids whispered, Gladion apparently was appointed their spokesperson. 

"We don't really have any expectations or boundaries. Burnet seems to be decent, for working under _Her._ " His lip curls in distaste, Guzma understands wholeheartedly. 

"Be that as it may, she might have expectations and boundaries." There is some confusion as the kids further discuss.

"What does that mean?" Guzma cross his arms over his chest and leans back into his chair as he thinks of a good example. 

"It's like going to a party, agreeing to stay for a few minutes to satisfy all parties and making sure none of you feel uncomfortable or forced to be where you don't want to be." Gladion looks faintly surprised, Guzma knows that he has always made Gladion was comfortable with something before taking him somewhere.

"Alright, this one is for your sister. Who taught you about puberty?" Gladion squints at him, confused by his line of thinking but glances back.

"Hobbes, the family butler." Just like he thought. Okay, this makes things easier and harder.

"Did you have any female influences at all growing up?" A negative response. He wasn't qualified for this. Plumeria took care of the girls and transitioners. He took care of the boys, and helped any transitioners after they had spoken with Plumeria. 

"Listen, after this, you need to speak to Plumeria. You're not gonna know what to do with another woman in the house and it'll definitely be different from having another male live with you." Gladion nods his head.

"What i can tell you for now, is to sit one on one with her. None of the boys or you foster parent around. You need time to bond with her, alone." The kids shift nervously, he can see that they are very close for only being together a short time.

"It might be uncomfortable, but its better to do it alone. Afterwards you can all discuss things, but you need to let yourselves grow alone too. Together you a stronger, but as individuals, you still have room to grow." Gladion nods, this is something Guzma tells everyone under his care regularly.

He watches them rise, pokemon surrounding Gladion's brother, Gladion wrapping an arm around his sister's shoulders. 

Damn.

His kid really grew up.

* * *

Plumeria kicks the wall with a shout of frustration. She looks at the cans on the floor and looks back at the wall. Maybe more red?

Plumeria grabs a silver as well. She raises her mask back over her mouth and begins spraying. Something darts across the room and she flings a paint can around, tossing the other aside and is flicking her lighter. A stream of fire is launched at the idiots that are interrupting her art.

"Leafage! Firefang!" Leaves invade the room and then catch fire, quickly absorbing the fire from her home made blowtorch. She sees Gladion with his arm outstretched to shield two teenagers, one that can only be his sister and the other, well she knows God Blessed when she sees one. She remembers those lessons well. _Ingratiate yourself to them, they will see your status rising._

"Welcome home kiddo." Gladion pouts, Plumeria sees him looking at her lighter. She raises it and flicks it shut before shoving it into her back pocket.

"Let's head to the kitchen." Plumeria tidies up her work space and makes her way to the kitchen where the kids are sitting down with cookies. She's pleased that Gladion is eating, it had been hard to get him to grab food in the beginning. She's proud of the man he is today.

"Boss sent us to you." Plumeria sees the chair beside the raven haired teen is filled with pokemon so she sits beside Gladion. 

"This is my sister Lillie, and our adopted brother Ash, through our mutual foster father." Plumeria delicately sips her juice then shoves a cookie into her mouth.

"Congrats on a functioning parental unit. Do us proud." Gladion smiles, its shy and pleased. She almost wants to pinch his nose and hear him squawk indignantly at her.

He seems to recognize the urge and crosses his arms over his chest and turns the other cheek to her. The rascal.

"Alright. Go on." Plumeria dips a cookie into the juice and observes the other two, one eating the other seemingly trying to talk himself into grabbing a cookie for himself but keeps giving it to his pokemon.

"Our foster father wants to start dating. Burnet works for _Her_ but she's good. Boss said to ask you for advice for Lillie." Plumeria glances at Lillie, she looks unsure of how to act around her. No doubt that vile woman never spent time with her daught leaving her in the care of the butler she's seen around. No female role models, unless they come from books, or articles possibly.

"Let's start then. You don't have any female influence at home before being taken in?" She nods. "You need a one on one, woman to woman to clear the air. Let her know you haven't had any female influence or involvement in your developmental years. The balls in her court." Lillie nods, she see Gladion paying attention.

"If she doesn't know either, she probably will, but if she doesn't, then you need to spend time together without boys around. It's important that you get girl time."

Plumeria gives Lillie the advice for Spas. Getting manicures and pedicures. Or painting each other's nails. Watching movies that are cheesy or cartoons. Just stuff to get started on getting to know each other.

"You could have a sleep over in my room, and i could take the loft." Plumeria likes that idea. It seems to please the others too. He can tell these three are already close and feel protective of one another. Its easy to see why. They've all been hurt.

Marks of trauma were written all over them. Like calls to like. Its why Team Skull has so many members. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What if scenario for meeting Plumeria:
> 
> Plumeria is rooting through the pantry for something sweet, she already knows Gladion is home is and she is determined to get the kid to stop looking like a damn scarecrow. Bulu knows she's tried. She's tired of seeing how thin he is, and if she ever saw Lusamine in person she was going to town on her. First for Guzma and second for Gladion. No one messed with her family.
> 
> Plumeria loads a trays with snacks and makes her way to the main hall when she hears a small noise. She's already crouching down and launching the tray at whoever had th audacity to sneak up on her only to have the tray flipped back at her and a fist flying at her face.
> 
> She doesn't hesitate to grab the hand and drop onto her back to wrap her legs around the unknown boy. She is surprised when he instantly deflects her move and manages to send her flying by swinging her through the air. She manages to twist, use her heel to push off thw wall and rolls back to her feet.  
> "Not bad kid."


	13. Even If We Happen To Lose Our Way We Will Always Be Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: let it out - fma ending amalee cover

Lillie freezes as soon as she sees Silvally. Ash is next to her, holding out his hand. She slowly reaches out and grabs his hand.

_Warmth, and peace, concern but also pride_.

She takes a deep breath and slowly moves towards the kitchen for breakfast. 

Gladion is watching her with his pokeball in hand. She shakes her head and he pockets the ball. They sit at the table and eat breakfast while they wait for Professor Kukui. Yesterday had been enlightening. They were ready to speak with Professor Kukui some more. She could feel that Ash was at war with himself about what Guzma had said.

Professor Kukui joins them at the table and sighs. Hands pressed together as if he is praying before he interlocks his fingers and looks at them.

"Ok. There were some misunderstandings yesterday." He coughs, a faint blush on his cheeks. Ash glances up at him with a frown but says nothing.

"I never brought up dating because this affects all of you too. And if i wanted to start dating, i would ask for your permission, not just because i know you associate strangers with trauma." Professor Kukui says as he moves to reach out to Ash but crosses his arms on the table instead. "I didn't ask because this was so new to us all. Dating would complicate things while we were just getting to know one another. Having a relationship is different that taking you kids in." Ash looks confused, Lillie would have thought that Ash would have seen a lot of romance during his travels, but he seems pretty oblivious to it.

"And i respect each of you enough that i wouldn't just jeopardize what we have over an old flame that might not even feel the same way. You're..." Professor Kukui smiles at them, it's that smile that had caught Lilie's attention years ago when she applied for school. "You're my kids through thick and thin." Ash and Gladion smile, Lillie smiles too. This is her family. She loves them. They were all becoming better people.

Together.

  


  


  


From then on, Lillie decided she would work on not freezing when she saw Silvally. And each time she saw him, it was getting easier and easier to move.

Almost like using a muscle. The more she looked at Silvally, the more she was able to control the fear. She may not have the memory of their first meeting, but her brother's steadfast faith in Silvally was more than enough for her. Ash helped her too. He warned her off looking for a connection while she was still afraid, telling her it would cause more harm than good. So she held off, and instead focused on getting to know Silvally through her brother.

Ash didn't have any problem with Silvally, he looked sad sometimes though. Lillie wonders what Ash feels. Pikachu too. Sometimes they look at Mew, the playful mythical always looks solemnly at Silvally. It was like the three of them shared something, something about Silvally.

  


  


  


  


After that day, when they met Guzma and Plumeria, Gladion would take them to see the two on days they didn't visit the pokemon center to help out. He asked them if they wanted to come, and Lillie couldn't think of a reason not to go. These people took care of her brother. Raised him to be the strong trainer he is today. Lillie wanted to get to know them.

Ash didn't really have an opinion, and simply tagged along. It had worried Lillie at first, but then she realized something. Ash was willing to get to know Guzma and Plumeria because he trusted Gladion and Lillie.

Ash had asked them to keep quiet about Aura for just a little bit longer, and they agreed. Lillie could see he was working through things with his pokemon, he spoke with Professor Kukui once.

All Lillie heard was that Ash asked him for a week.

Ash seemed to enjoy their visit with Guzma, despite their rough start. And Guzma seemed to enjoy their visits too. Of course he also had ground rules for them.

  1. Ash and Lillie were not allowed over on days that Shady house was full.
  2. Ash was not allowed in any rooms that had closed doors as those were girl rooms.
  3. Lillie was not allowed in any room with an open door as those were boy rooms.
  4. Gladion wasn't allowed to decline any food put in front of him.
  5. If at any point Lillie and Ash felt overwhelmed, they were to go home immediately. 
  6. No one sets foot in Plumeria's art room.
  7. Ash had better keep a handle on Mew.
  8. If Guzma's door was ever closed, they were to go home immediately. Gladion could stay, but he already knows to stay in his room if he stays.
  9. Respect the rule of privacy. No one talks about their pasts in Shady house.



They were easy to follow rules. Ash had no complaints, and actually apologized about Mew. Though Lillie knew Ash was always chasing after Mew and suspects this is the reason why he was okay with the rule. It was a rule in a similar vein to what was in Professor Kukui's house.

Lillie respected this man that had taken care of her brother for several years, he was already family in her eyes. She could see how much her brother respected him, his admiration. He took in misfits, took care of them and expected nothing in return. He was a truly admirable man, and he was still so young. He seemed so much like Ash, surrounded by people and yet so alone. 

On the third day of waving goodbye to him, she made a mistake. She hadn't meant to call him Anakala outloud. Ash looked curious about the word and accidentally called Plumeria, Plumie in an absentminded tone.

"Plumie?" Ash looks over at her, his pokemon not closed around him so tightly despite it only being the third time he's been here.

Lillie felt proud of him.

Ash smiles, it's small and soft.

"Yeah! Plumie!" Plumeria grins, she knocks her elbow into Anakala's side.

"I like it." Anakala grumbles and says they can call him Anakala, he mutters about not wanting his name being spread around?

  


  


  


Nebby takes them back home, Ash turns on the tv as background noise while she grabs her school work.

"And Masked Royal will be having a match tonight!" Lillie looks up when Ash pokes her, his eyes on the tv as he watches a masked fighter and his Incenroar. 

"That's kinda cool, wait no. Um, what's Anakala?" Ash squints as he tries to pronounce the word for uncle. Lillie patiently repeats the word until his pronunciation is no longer stilted.

"It means uncle. And... he looked after brother for years." Ash nods, glancing back over at the tv again.

"I didn't know they had wrestling with pokemon here. In Kanto it's just the pokemon that wrestles." Ash looks wistful, Pikachu perks up and waves at the tv.

"Yeah, i miss primape too, bud. Mm. Looks like Litten is interested in wrestling too." Lillie looks up when she feels amusement. Brother has his face buried in his arms, his plate shoved aside in his haste to bury his face. Lillie frowns and sees Ash is also aware of Gladion's amusement. He pouts, then turns back to his homework.

" 's not that funny." He mutters churlish, then starts his work after pointedly moving his dinner away. Lillie grins as Gladion pointedly moves the plate into view but not enough that he's telling Ash to eat.

  


  


  


Lillie rubs her eyes, glances at the clock and frowns. It's past ten and Professor Kukui wasn't home yet. That's unusual, Ash is fast asleep, head on the table, plate pushed aside with his fork still in hand. Gladion is slowly removing them, Bayleef maneuvers him onto her back and heads for the room.

Gladion ushers her to bed and sits down on the couch with the tv on low volume. 

Lillie is briefly awakened when something falls over. She grumbles and turns over.

"If this becomes a problem you had better tell them or _I_ _will."_ That was brother. What was he talking about?

"Brother?" Lillie calls as she sleepily stumbles out of bed. Gladion is peering up at her from the bottom of the ladder, he shuts off the tv and climbs up.

"Go back to sleep Lillie. It's late." He leads her back to bed and tucks her in, he presses his lips to her forehead and sits down at the edge of her bed. Lillie looks up at him, he smiles softly.

Sleep comes quickly and within minutes she feels a hand squeeze hers before she falls into peaceful slumber.

  


  


  


Lillie doesn't really have an opinion of Masked Royal. Neither does Gladion, but Ash seems interested, though he looks to be interested for Litten's sake. That changes after they witness a match. He's ecstatic! 

After their match, it's all Ash can talk about. His Litten equally excited after his loss. Watching them train outside is amusing, Ash is such an unusual trainer. It's almost like Ash was a pokemon himself with how into training he was.

And then Lillie was surprised when the rest of the class showed up to spend time with them. Mallow and Kiawe rarely had time to spend just hanging around.

"Wait, is that Masked Royal?" Lana says, Ash and Kiawe halt their match to glance at her. Lillie was amazed that Masked Royal was just walking around here.

"Litten!" Ash calls out as his Litten rockets towards Masked Royal and throws down his challenge. Ash looks at Litten and smiles. Kiawe sighs, shaking his head but smiles at Ash, Ash grins at him.

"Alright Litten! If this is what you want. Masked Royal, let's have a battle!" Ash points at him, he stands confidently behind Litten. Both of them are fired up, Masked Royal grins and a wave of familiarity washes over her. Lillie can see confusion in Ash's eyes before he shrugs it off when Masked Royal sends out his Incenroar.

  


  


  


  


Torracat walks confidently into the house. Ash is watching him with a fond smile on his face. 

Lillie knows that Ash is a strong trainer. That he loves his pokemon more than anything, but seeing it is so very different from knowing it. Seeing it, shows her just how much Ash is holding himself back out of fear. He's changed from the boy she met in Kanto, he's still recovering. Lillie wonders what happened to him, what made him this way.

"Mm. We should tell Kukui-hakase!" Ash rushes off in search of Professor Kukui and his pokemon spread out. He was definitely comfortable here.

"I think i might do the island challenge for Ula'Ula." Brother says as Ash calls out for the Professor. 

  


* * *

  


Ash tells Kukui-hakase all about his battle with Masked Royal and how Litten evolved into Torracat. He looks excited, asking questions and taking a look at Torracat. He reaches out and taps his fingers against Ash's hat, the pride and joy he feels coming from him is like when he does something that makes Brock proud of him. Ash thinks to himself that this is a nice feeling.

Then Gladion says he's going to get stronger too, that he's going to head to Ula'Ula island and challenge the island Kahuna there. Ash feels fired up! He wants to get stronger too!

Though for now, he would focus on helping Torracat get stronger and used to his new form.

"We're going to get stronger together before we challenge the island Kahuna." Ash clenches his fist, then he holds out his fist to Gladion, he looks surprised before smiling as he extends his own fist. They bump fists and Gladion packs to leave, telling them that he was going to come back when he passed his trial.

Lillie wishes him good luck and Kukui-hakase gives him some advice on finding the island Kahuna. 

They all go to bed that night and the house feels just a bit empty.

Tapu Bulu shrugs at him when he mentions that. Ash huffs, Bulu was so laid back, maybe too laid back. These mythicals were very eccentric. The only one who didn't seem that eccentric was Fini, but apparently Fini had been missing for 27 years.

"You're all different." Fini peers at him, and nods serenely. Nebby plops down on his lap, Scraggy holds up his hands to be picked up. Ash gathers both of them close and lays down to sleep.

He hasn't seen Hau in about a week, he should probably visit him. He was a good almost friend. And Rowlet really liked his Dartrix.

  


  


  


Ash spends most of the morning looking for Hau. Rowlet seemed excited and was searching eagerly, until he fell asleep mid flight. Ash darts forward to catch him when something whizzes out of the brush. He throws Rowlet up into the air, slings off his back and tosses it to Bayleef and dodges razor sharp green blades.

Ash sighs in relief despite being pinned to the tree, using one arrow? To stand on. Barely reaching ut with the tips of his toes as he hangs. Pikachu is ready to fire off a thunderbolt as the bushes shake and a head pops out.

"Hey Hau!" Ash grins, Hau blanches and instantly move to rush forward but halts when Pikachu slams a thunderbolt into the ground at his feet. Ash slowly maneuvers himself free, he frowns at the tears in his shirt and lands lightly on the floor.

"Sorry!" Ash looks away from the cut on his arm and sees that Hau is nearly in tears. Ash looks back at the cut, oh, he was probably afraid he'd hurt Ash.

"I was a little careless." Ash waves it off and licks his thumb to rub away the blood already knowing something so small would heal.

"See? All better." Hau doesn't look convinced, Rowlet and his Dartrix are already having a minor disagreement due to his unkempt appearance. Ash grins at the sight of the older bird grooming his and getting bent out of shape when his feathers refuse to stay.

Ash makes his way over and scoops up Rowlet, combs his fingers through his feathers and watches them settle the slightest bit. He's still rather unkempt in appearance but that's just the way Rowlet has always been, maybe because he sleeps so much?

"Rowlet is excited to have a battle." Rowlet nods emphatically and Hau, looking unsure, agrees if his Raichu can take a look at him. Ash agrees because Pikachu doesn't say anything against it. The Raichu smiles calmly at him, checks his arms and sides before nodding and smiling at Hau who looks relieved.

"Ok. Let's have a battle!" Ash gestures for his pokemon to make room, Bayleef acts as referee while Pikachu looks after Nebby.

Even though Ash loses because Greninja urgently needed his help and he fumbled while giving Rowlet orders to use a z move, he had fun. He hasn't had this many battles in a while. He misses this.

Ash gathers Rowlet into his arms and begins to comb his feathers into order with a soft but heartfelt apology. Rowlet coos, says he too made mistakes. Then Scraggy points at Raichu and declares his intent to battle. Ash grins.

"Scraggy wants to have a battle too." Hau nods, his smile is excited as he tells Raichu to get ready.

Scraggy gave it all he had. High jump kicks, focus blast and headbutts but still lost in the end. Ash crouched down by Scraggy, waiting patiently to be acknowledged. Scraggy turns to him, nods and then immediately goes to headbutt a tree.

"Okay Scraggy, we'll train together more." Ash rises to his feet and begins kicking the tree. High kicks, low kicks, and spinning kicks. He and Scraggy practice.

"We'll challenge you again tomorrow Hau!" Ash says as he remembers that Hau is still behind him. Hau looks surprised but agrees to a rematch tomorrow. Ash looks at Rowlet who is training with Bayleef and Mew. He uses leafage, razor leaf and peck all the while dodging and flying around. Ash grins to himself.

His pokemon are amazing.

  


"Okay Scraggy! Rowlet! Come at me!" Ash waits, Pikachu looks exasperated as he rocks Nebby to sleep. Ash winces.

"Quietly! Shh!" He whispers loudly and the two nod at him. Scraggy runs, charging straight at him with a headbutt while Rowlet instantly circles up in the air and launches a barrage of Razor leafs. Ash twists on his heel and dodge both attacks, crosses his arms over his head to block Rowlet's kick and raises his knee to block a Headbutt from Rowlet. His leg swings out and launches Scraggy when he hits Ash's knee at a weird angle. Ash winces as Scraggy flies back only for Rowlet to fly over and catch him on his back.

"Oh ho? A combination?" Ash grins, thumbs his nose and crouches down slightly.

Scraggy comes down from above with a focus blast that Ash dodges and has to raise an arm to catch the high jump kick. Rowlet used leafage to hide his movement but Ash already expected him to do that and launched Scraggy at him. Rowlet twirled to snag Scraggy out of the air and pulled back.

"Tou." Ash jumps as Toucanon flies between them. 

"Ok, guess we're taking a break." Ash rests his hands on his hips and watches Toucanon take Rowlet under his wings. They talk a little before Toucanon nods and fires off bullet seed. Ash grins and looks to Pikachu who shares an equally devious grin. Oh this was going to be so much fun. He has great memories of this.

  


  


  


  


Ash sighs, hugs Rowlet to his chest and then laughs.

"Well, everything worked out in the end." He doesn't think a Dartrix would have fit in his back pack. It was kinda crowded.

"We'll beat Dartrix, and Scraggy, we'll definitely give Raichu a challenge!" Scraggy nods as he lifts his pants.

"Thank you Toucanon, Trumbeak. Rowlet will show you how far he's come." The birds nod and fly off, Ash takes a moment to survey the targets he'd made then looks at Pikachu with a sense of accomplishment. Pikachu offers him and smile and they begin the walk home.

  


  


  


  


  


  


"Is it okay if we have spectators?" Ash asks Hau the next day. Hau looks confused but nods and then grins when Ash calls out to Toucanon and Trumbeak. The two birds perch on a branch above Ash and nod to Rowlet.

"Okay Rowlet, let's do 'em proud!" Ash spreads his arms out, Rowlet launches off his shoulders and does a loop in the air before landing on the floor. Dartrix eyes him and at Hau's nod, he gets ready for battle.

"Let's show Dartrix what you can do!" Rowlet takes off in a shower of leafage to blind Dartrix. 

Ash uses Rowlet's stealth and smaller size to his advantage. Having Rowlet duck in and out of view with the help of the trees to fire off razor leaf and seed bomb. Dartrix tries pinning Rowlet with arrows or uses razor leaf and leaf blade. Rowlet manages to dodge that Leaf blade by falling asleep.

"Rowlet." Ash sighs in exasperation, he raises his fingers to his lips and whistles, Rowlet wakes with a shriek, sees Dartrix and dives away from razor leaf. He flies back into the air, and chirps at Ash.

"Corkscrew!" Rowlet flies into the sun, Dartrix is blinded and Rowlet dives down in a corkscrew building up momentum with his peck.

"Dodge it Dartrix!" Hau shouts as he sees Rowlet, Dartrix barely dodges, getting clipped in the wing and fires off a leaf blade at close range. Rowlet goes flying and Ash is already running to intercept Rowlet. Ash is diving forward, fingers catching hold of Rowlet's talons before he tucks him in close and half curls up as he flies into a bush. Ash relaxes when they safely land on the ground.

"Guess we still have some more training to do." Rowlet coos gently, giving him a once over as he sits up. Hau is poking his head through the bush in concern.

"We're okay." He looks relieved and reaches forward, Rowlet is sitting in Hau's palm. Ash looks down at his empty arms in bemusement before rising to his feet and dusting himself off. Hau stares at Rowlet, Rowlet is asleep.

"Scraggy wanted a rematch too." 

Ash knows that Scraggy lost but he was so proud as he hugged Scraggy. 

"You learned focus punch! You're so amazing Scraggy!" Ash laughs, Scraggy puffs out his chest and nods. The others come closer to congratulate Scraggy. Nebby seems to be the happiest.

"Congratulations Ash, Scraggy." Ash nods to Hau, he asks for another rematch, Hau tells him he can't have another match tomorrow but he can have one the day after.

Ash arrives home and huffs when he realizes Lillie and Kukui-hakase aren't home yet. Lillie is probably at Mallow's restaurant, and Kukui-hakase...

"Kukui-hakase has really weird hours." Ash wonders if this is normal. Maybe he should ask Lillie?

"Ah, what do we do tomorrow?" Ash makes his way to his room, the others disperse around the livingroom or his room. He grabs his research journal, lays on his bed and flips through the entries.

"How do i tell Kukui-hakase about aura?" Ash buries his face in his pillow. Pikachu lays down on his back, petting his hair.

"Pikapi, chuchupikachupika." Ash groans, shifts so he is no longer face first in his pillow.

"I know i don't have to tell him anything. Lillie could tell him, but she doesn't understand it that well. And..." Ash remembers the arms wrapped around him. The feelings that they all shared. He hugs his pillow and wonders if it is a mistake to get close to others.

"Pikachu... it's safe here... right?" Ash's voice catches on the last word, he wants to believe that this is safe. He knows it's safe but he doesn't believe it. 

"Pikapi." Pikachu rolls off his back and squirms until he is between Ash's arms and the pillow he was hugging. Pikachu whispers that he is safe. That this is safe. And that he can trust himself to believe, and when he can't then he could trust Pikachu. 

Ash falls asleep hugging Pikachu close.

  


  


> _Ash is watching the world burn. Zygarde screams, furious with hatred yet dull as if it didn't feel a thing. Discordant cries that hurt to hear. Ash looks down, A̴̢̜̼̱̲̥͚͍͒̇͜l̸͇͔̬͉̦̯̘̱̈̍̐͐̋͒̽a̵̢̪͎͆ͅi̷̙͍̬͎̻͉̟͌̾͘n̴̟̣̓̔̎̈́̇̊ is kneeling on the floor looking angry and so lost. Behind him, standing tall and full of smug pride is a ~~ **man**~~ that makes him tremble. _
> 
> _He smirks as he turns to Ash, and Ash already knows what he's going to say._
> 
> _He doesn't want to hear it._
> 
> _"Pikachu!!!!!!!" Ash cries out. This is a dream! It's just a dream!_
> 
> _The world it burning._
> 
> **_He's burning._ **
> 
> **_"̴ ~~N̶o̸w̵ ̴A̷s̴h̴.̵ ̴N̵o̶w̶ ̵G̷r̷e̵n̷i̵n̴j̶a̵.̶ ̷I̵m̷ ̴a̴l̴s̵o̶ ̸g̸o̷i̴n̷g̶ ̸t̷o̶ ̸c̸o̴n̶t̸r̴o̵l̶ ̸y̸o̶u̴r̵ ̴b̷o̴n̸d̶ ̸p̶h̸e̴n̸o̵m̵e̸n̵o̷n̴.̷ F̷r̵o̶m̷ ̴t̸h̸i̵s̴ ̷p̶o̷i̷n̷t̷ ̸o̷n̶,̵ ̴b̸o̵t̶h̵ ̴o̶f̸ ̷y̸o̴u̸ ̷w̶i̴l̷l̵ ̶a̸n̴s̷w̸e̶r̶ ̶t̸o̸ ̶m̸e̶.̷"̶~~_ **
> 
> **_He didn't want this!_ **

Ash is choking, his heart pounding in his chest as he cries. He can feel so much concern, his pokemon surround him.

**Worry, help? What do you need?**

Ash realizes he's on the floor. He's hugging Lycanroc, Nebby is between them, Scraggy is hugging his neck on one side and Pikachu on the other. Rowlet is preening his hair. Torracat is on his right leg, Mew on his left leg and Bayleef is behind him.

"Just a dream." Ash mutters shakily, he raises his hand to scrubs his face clean and relaxes into his pokemon.

"Bayleefbay." Oh. No one was home yet. Ash decided to stay where he was. It's been awhile since his last nightmare.

"I'm okay. We're okay. Right Greninja?" Ash feels a hum of acknowledgement. They were okay, it was just a dream. 

"I wanted to tell someone, but every time i tried... i don't want to hurt them anymore. They'll get badly hurt if i tell them, won't they?" Pikachu nuzzles his cheek and tells him that he's hurting himself more by keeping it in. Ash knows this.

He knows this and yet, he can't bring himself to say anything.

"He's right though. They'll hurt because I'm hurt." Ash feels Lycanroc whine, a paw rests on his back.

"I told Kukui-hakase i wanted to tell him something in a week. He said he was okay with waiting longer than that, but i don't think I'll be able to say it, if i wait any longer." Pikachu tells him again that he doesn't have to say anything at all if he doesn't want to. But Ash knows if he doesn't say anything now, he never will. Just like he never did in Kanto.

  


  


  


Kukui-hakase came home late again. Ash feels horrible that he didn't get up to greet Lillie earlier, or eat dinner with her. And he feels horrible that Lillie is talking to him with concern in her voice.

That she was alone, in a house after leaving one cold empty house that housed her and her butler. 

He'll do better tomorrow. He'll make it up to her.

Tonight he just wants to be with his pokemon and forget everything else exists.

Just for tonight.

  


  


  


  


  


  


  


Ash stumbles over to the table, flops down into his chair and presses his face to the table. He was nauseous. But he should probably eat something. 

"Morning." Ash mutters a return greeting, and winces when Nebby appears with a screaming Rotom. He sits up, snags Nebby out of the air, and then Rotom before looking at them.

"You were taking pictures of Nebby-chan again weren't you. You know Nebby-chan will teleport you if you keeping bugging." Rotom huffs, an annoyed face appears on his screen.

"We need to document Nebby, as the first of its kind." Ash stares, and stares, and stares. Rotom slowly loses his annoyed look and goes back to his regular face.

"Very well. Bzzt!" Ash lets him go, he floats off to the tv to watch detective Laki. Lillie giggles, Ash turns to her and pouts.

"It's not funny." He whines, pulling out his pocket container of star candy for Nebby and slowly begins to feed the hungry baby.

"Kukui-hakase has been getting home late." Ash starts, Lillie frowns, she looks concerned.

"I was curious about that too. Professor Kukui has pretty flexible hours." Ash feels a second of fear grip him, he looks over at Lillie and slowly reaches out to her. She grabs his hand and smiles, she looks down at the table.

"I don't want to jump to conclusions. And i don't want him to lie to us, which i feel like he would." Ash lightly tugs her hand.

"We... we can ask Anakala... he's really good at understanding people." Lillie nods, Ash calls his pokemon over and then asks Nebby to use teleport.

Guzma is in the middle of breakfast, he looks at them, and kicks out two chairs. Plumeria serves up two other plates without a word. Ash spends the next half hour picking at his plate. He actually managed to eat a little less than half before feeding his pokemon the rest.

"Professor Kukui has two jobs but the hours are pretty flexible." Lillie blurts out, Ash looks back at her from where he is washing the dishes. He turns off the water and dries his hands as he makes his way to the table.

"He's coming home late a lot more..." Ash looks down, he _knows_ he can trust Kukui-hakase but feeling it is different. 

"I think if we ask him... he might lie." Ash pulls Scraggy onto his lap, Scraggy holds his finger with a frown of concern.

"He probably will," Guzma answers honestly. "But it isn't to hide anything bad. He has a third job." Ash looks up at that.

"School to become a pokemon Professor is expensive, and so is having three growing teenagers." Ash remembers the relief Kukui-hakase felt when Ash took over all the food expenses. It hadn't seemed like much at the time, but they go grocery shopping at least twice a month.

"Ash has started to pay for all the food expenses." Lillie offers, Plumeria gives him a once over and looks serious as she leans forward.

"That eases some pressure no doubt. But it also makes him more aware of all of your eating habits." Ash doesn't meet her gaze and neither does Lillie. All of them have strang relationships with food, but Gladion and Lillie seemed better about it than he did. He knows it worries Kukui-hakase, but he keeps silent about it because he knows they are all trying to change.

"I'm not saying that to make you feel bad. I just want you to know that, you're all growing, to do that you need to eat well." Ash knows this, and promises to try to eat more when he can. It might ease some of Kukui-hakase's worries.

"You probably shouldn't bring up at you know about his third job, he'll likely tell you about when he's ready." Guzma says as he rests his arm on the table and pillows his cheek against his knuckles. 

"Okay." It's a relief to know that Kukui-hakase is working late, but still a bit worrying. He feels bad that he had to be reassured. 

"And don't feel bad that you went against his back to ask. The three of you have issues, and you're trying to better yourselves. It's only normal that you were afraid the only reliable adult you can stand, might not be reliable." Guzma looks put upon as rubs his hands across his face. "Don't make me repeat this. _Ever._ But Kukui is a responsible and reliable person to lean on." There is remorse in his eyes as he rises to his feet.

"Thank you Anakala." He grumbles and shoves his hands into his pocket before exiting the kitchen. Ash wonders about him, watching him walk away now, he seems alone.

Ash looks down at Scraggy who is watching Guzma and nods to himself. He rises to his feet and follows after the older man who pauses, likely hearing Ash run after him.

"Thank you for always being honest Anakala." He nods, shoves his hands deeper into his pocket and jerks his chin at Ash. Ash grins and walks the last couple of steps and gives him what might possibly be the shortest hug in existence before he runs back to the kitchen with a warmth in his chest.

Lillie is hugging Plumeria, the older woman is cradling her with a warm smile. Lillie looks up at him and smiles.

"I'm going to have a sleepover with Plumie tomorrow." Ash grins at her, he's glad that Lillie is going to spend time with Plumie. She's so strong and cool!

"That's great!" Lillie nods, waving goodbye as Nebby takes them back home where Kukui-hakase is barely awake and sitting at the table. He blinks at them, takes in their pajamas and sighs.

"Next time." He yawns. "Change before you go out." Lillie squeaks as she realizes she was in her pajamas, Ash agrees with Kukui-hakase despite already knowing that he would leave again in pajamas if Nebby felt like it.

"Guess what." Ash grins at Kukui-hakase, he knows he will be happy. Kukui-hakase raises a brow.

"I ate breakfast." He smiles, there is relief in him but he doesn't express it and instead offers him a smile.

"That's great Ash." Kukui-hakase is safe. He is safe and Ash knows he can believe this irrefutable fact.

  


  


  


* * *

  


Geez, Kukui is so stupid if he thinks two kids with trust issues won't pick up on the pattern of his third job. Gladion already knew, asking him about it several years back and being sworn to secrecy. Guzma wasn't going to tell a secret that wasn't his. But if it did become a problem, he would make it his priority to get the idiot to see the error of his ways.

It wasn't his job, but these kids were healing. They were making themselves better.

They were actually trying to heal.

Guzma hadn't tried after he ended up fleeing Aether. But hadn't the brat given him a hug just yesterday? After their rocky start, he seemed to like Guzma. He ate when Guzma put food in front of him, likely because he was starting to trust him.

It almost gave him hope that these kids would be okay.

Maybe.

Maybe Guzma would be okay too.

He looks down at the cloth in his hands as he dries Golisopod's back. Healing was about accepting what happened and processing it in healthy ways. Maybe it was time that Guzma moved on.

If these kids could learn to heal.

What was stopping Guzma from doing the same?

Guzma looks up from where he is cleaning Golisopod when he hears a familiar laugh. Then Mew is flying at him, he ducks and Golisopod rocks backward with the force of catching Mew. Mew is giggling and floating around in dizzying circles. Guzma sighs, why him?

Radiant one, why did he have to attract the weird ones?

"Brat! Handle that Mew! I shouldn't be saying this. Who even has to say this?" He grumbles as he hears running, two sets of feet. Guzma looks up when he notices that it isn't Gladion, nor is it his sister's tread. No, these sounded different.

"Anakala!" He braces as he shoves his hands into his pockets. He knows that as long as his hands are not out in the open, or brat sees them and has enough time to move away, then the brat is okay with getting close to him. If he ever finds out what traumatized this one, he has no idea what he'd do, but he knows that he would do something.

Arms lock around his waist before the weight is gone and the brat is behind him. Guzma recognizes this kid standing in the doorway with a look of surprise on his face.

How could he not? He looked similar enough to Hala as is.

"So you're related to Hala?" Guzma asked sceptical of anything or anyone that surrounds Hala on a regular basis. Though this kid didn't seem anything like Hala despite looking similar. Ash was semi comfortable with the kid if he was willing to be close by without his contigent of pokemon. But Pikachu was keeping a close eye on the kid which was already a strike against him.

Pikachu wasn't this wary with him and Guzma had accidentally triggered the brat on their first meeting.

"Yeah. I'm his grandson." The kid was watching Ash coax Mew into letting go of Golisopod but was having no luck. Ash changed tactics and was praising the arthropod. Golisopod preened.

The absolute ham.

He was lapping up the attention.

"Ash is really good with pokemon." Guzma looked at this brat and sighed. 

"Make yourself at home." He muttered as he made his way to Ash. He wrapped his arm, after making sure Ash saw and heard him coming, around the kid's shoulders and dragged him off.

"Don't spoil him." Ash made a displeased noise.

"No fun." Guzma released his hold, Ash fell back, simply rolled to his feet and followed after him.

"Plumie still not here?" He asked, shifting so that he could watch Hau play with Rowlet and Dartrix. Guzma leaned closer and peered at Ash with a frown. "Uhh, it's nothing bad... i just... _howdoyoumakefriends?!"_ he blurted and Guzma is taken back to literally a month ago when Gladion asked the same question.

"Kid..." Ash looked distressed as he faced Guzma. How the heck did this kid weasel his way into Guzma's life?

"Fine. Fine... just. Urgh..." Guzma rubbed his face and looked around at the games he had collected over the years to keep his crew out of trouble. 

"Oi, brat. We're going to play a game." Hala's grandkid made his way over, making sure to keep his distance from Ash. Pikachu watched him with intense eyes.

"Ever play video games?" He received a yes and a no. Of course this kid couldn't play games. Hala's grandkid looked faintly startled and amused at the admission.

"Alright, we'll play an easy game then. Racing cars." Guzma by no means was an expert at video games, but he was no slouch. So how in the ever loving radiant one, did this noob beat two experienced gamers?

"I won Pikachu!" Pikachu made a noise of interest but did not move from his perch on the kid's shoulder. Guzma could read the line of tension in his shoulders and kicked at Hala's brat to move further.

He did, shooting Pikachu an apologetic look. Plumeria walked in and Ash shot off the ground, abandoning his control and launched himself at her like a bullet seed.

"Lillie-" he was gone, Plumeria nodding as she slung her arm across his shoulders, Pikachu having hopped down onto the floor. 

"I'm not a very good friend to him... am I?" Guzma paused the game.

"You're friends?" The brat laughed sadly, looking down at his controller as they started a new game.

"I guess i assumed too much... Pikachu doesn't like me very much." Guzma looked skyward and prayed to Bulu for patience.

How was he stuck with all this teenage drama?

Was it punishment for giving Nanu such a hard time?

"It's not you. And it's not him, okay?" The brat had the gall to stare at him with suspicion.

"Look. He's making steps to recover from whatever the world threw at him that made him like this. He's trying, okay? You're doing okay." Guzma shoved the brat's car off the road, the kid exclaimed and began to pay attention to the game. "There's been some miscommunication between you two. Somehow he doesn't know your friends, that's why you're here." The brat eyed him, fingers dancing across his controller as he hummed.

"I'm sure you know Gladion." There was a nod.

"He's part of team Skull right?" Guzma shoved the kid off the road again, a glare was aimed at him.

"Not officially. But kid's got his eyes on Ash. He usually comes with him here, but his trial is today and he requested no spectators. And Lillie is supposed to have a girl's night." Guzma raised his controller to his face and scratched his nose, while passing the kid and dropping an oil slick. There was a sound of frustration. 

"He doesn't have friends here in Alola aside from these siblings, from what i gather, he's trying. He wants to make friends. He's lonely here." Guzma's eyebrow twitched when he was bumped off road, the smug look aimed his way made the twitch stronger.

"You're the closest he has to a friend here. So he brought you somewhere he feels safe." Hau faced him, game completely forgotten as he lowered his controller.

"I scared him really bad. And I've been trying to get to know him... but it seems as if Pikachu doesn't like me." Guzma scoffed, Hau glanced at him.

  


* * *

  


  


"Make friends with the kid and the mouse will stop. _Overprotective rodent."_ Hau watched as the leader of the notorious Team Skull, cheated at video games against a teenager.

"You're so petty." Hau huffed indignantly at the large pokemon blocking the screen.

"Golisopod!!!" The pokemon was tackled to the ground... the heck?! Ash was lying on the pokemon's belly, giving it scratches and rubs. 

"Gladion told me you cheat!" The boss chuckled sinisterly with a fierce look. Hau watched Ash stare blankly at him while petting the guy's pokemon. Hau didn't know what to do to break the tension.

"Plumie said you have to make the food for Gladion's celebration." the boss huffed, and simply rested his chin on his fist.

"So she heard from him?" He asked nonchalantly, Ash had a grin that grew as the seconds passed. He pointed a finger at the older man and snickered.

"You're mad Gladion didn't have Nanu text you." The older man sat up, a light blush staining his cheeks.

"Why the heck don't you three brats have cellphones?! What teenager doesn't have one?" He griped, Ash shrugged.

"Never saw the need. Lillie wasn't allowed, and you didn't give one to Gladion." There was a second where the older man stared blankly at Ash before looking behind them, a box sat on a small night table.

"@$$%^&!!!!" Hau blushed at the expletives.

"I'm telling Plumie!" Ash shouted as he ran out the room.

"@&$*! No wait!" Guzma shouted in panic as he gave chase. Hau fell onto his side laughing. 

These two were a riot. And it was even more funny that Ash had no idea that this was Team Skull's leader.

He had no idea Gladion was Team Skull. 

Ash was a truly strange and complex person, and yet he was so simple and oblivious.

"Plumie!!!!" He could hear a stampede as Ash ran with his pokemon no doubt getting in Guzma's way.

"It was a mistake! Plumeria!" Hau climbed to his feet and put away the game controllers before following the sound of chaos.

Golisopod lumbered behind him, Mew resting on its head. Hau found Ash hiding behind the second in command while she lectured her boss.

"Alright! I get it! Fine." There is a second of silence before Ash is diving forward and snagging Mew before it could collide with Guzma.

"Why do you keep trying to tackle him?" Ash sounds exasperated as he rises to his feet and keeps Mew tucked into his arms. He mutters something under his breath as he squints. Mew tilts their head, he huffs a quiet 'Be that way then.' Then looks up at Hau.

"Ah! You're invited too." Hau smiles, he wonders if Gladion will glare at him for being friends with Ash, he had warned him off of his sister already. 

"Thanks!" He wants to watch Gladion get huffy, he hasn't seen his friend in months, he was going to tease him.

  


  


  


  


  


Gladion literally points at him the second he claps eyes on him. Ash looks confused, but doesn't ask any questions as he's running off after Golisopod and Mew.

'I'm watching you.' He mouths then goes out of his way to pretend he hadn't just done that.

Hau really missed him. Prickly with a hidden soft side and all.

"Ash has no idea this is Team Skull's base or that everyone here is Team Skull, right?" Gladion shrugs as if he doesn't care to know.

"Twenty dollars that he won't figure it out until he actually sets foot on Ula'Ula without being teleported in. Guzma bet a hundred that he won't figure it out at all. Plumeria slapped him and doubled that saying those Kanto gangsters tell him." Hau snickers.

"You're all terrible. Twenty that one of you let it slip." Gladion holds out his hand, Hau passes over a twenty and watches Ash fly out of the kitchen with Golisopod held over his head.

How the-

"Stop spoiling Golisopod you brat!!!"

"Never!"

"I saw nothing. Heard nothing. And was never here." Gladion says as he sips his juice without a care. Hau decides to follow his lead, grabbing a plate of cookies to hold him over until lunch is served.

"You guys are hilarious." He comments as Lillie shrieks after touching Golisopod while Ash is swimming through the air as he tries to touch the ground.

Gladion snorts, Hau is happy that his friend has loosened up. He no longer looks as if the world will crumble away if he does not get stronger.

"Gladion, don't forget to stay for the after party so the others can congratulate you." Gladion tips his head in acknowledgement and moves to lend Ash a hand, while pulling his sister away from Golisopod. Hau bursts into laughter when Gladion's feet leave the ground as soon as he grabs Ash's hands. Hau runs over and grabs hold of his ankles, he's laughing to hard to be of any use and ends up choking as _his_ feet leave the ground too.

Hau is upside, eating a cookie as Lillie is standing up on the tips of her toes to reach for Gladion's hands.

"You guys are so much fun to hang out with!" Hau howls, Gladion groans, Ash looks at him as if questioning his sanity and Lillie huffs as she crosses her arms over her chest. Hau saw his chance and took it, no one can blame him.

  


  


  


  


Hau whistles as he sees what's become of Kukui's house. Ash and Lillie are juggling plates of food, Hau tagging along as he opted to help them carry food home. The door is unlocked, and Hau is suprised and at the same time, isn't surprised at the sight of the Guardian Deities inside. Ash makes his way over to them and starts passing out plates.

Lillie meanwhile is setting up the other plates in the table and directs Hau to set the rest in the fridge.

"We're home!" Ash and Lillie shout, and Kukui emeges from downstairs.

"Alola Hau, welcome back you two." Kukui looks happy. Having a family suits him.

"You look like a proud family man Kukui." Hau watches him turn crimson and then he laughs at the flustered response he tries to give. Lillie is a bright pink and Ash is smiling as happy as can be.

It's a privilege to see the changes being brought to Alola by Ash. 

"I'm glad we're friends." Ash nods, Kukui stops being so flustered to look at him fondly. Yep. Definitely a family man.

  


* * *

  


Ash is sitting outside the Bewear food truck, having Malasadas with Meowth and Wobbuffet when he feels a familiar chill. Meowth is already ushering him to his feet towards the food truck when a hand clamps down on his shoulder.

There is static in his ears as he looks behind him at a smiling face. His hand is being tugged on, but it's like cotton is stuffed in his head. He's seeing but not really. He feels himself being lead somewhere, he wants to drag his feet.

Something sharp digs into his leg, he can feel rage mounting. He feels floaty.

**Focus. Breathe, you are not alone. Feel your surroundings. You are safe.**

Ash blinks and Burnet-hakase is standing between Ash and Lusamine. She's talking, but Ash isn't listening because the hand is now gone and finger tips are wiggling at slightly below eye level and pointing. An arm comes around his shoulder and he is pressed to someone's side. They are warm even if the rest of them feels thorny.

"Twerp." Ash sees Jessie, she is sneering at someone beside him, James is holding out his Mareanie. Ash looks over at the curious pokemon and extends his hands. He holds the pokemon, feels a familiar feeling and smiles, he's glad James has found a pokemon who cares so much about him.

"You keep to your turf and we'll stick to ours." Ash looks up to see Jessie and Plumie about to get into a physical fight.

He looks between the two, then to James who looks afraid and ready to dive for cover. Then he glances back to see Burnet-hakase is gone, he frowns and thinks to himself that Kukui-hakase misses her as much as she misses him.

"Plumie. Jessie." The two look at him with similar frowns. Ash is not deterred in the slightest, despite Meowth and James waving at him to stop.

"If you really miss someone, why..." Ash pauses, he knows Jessie had chosen Team Rocket against having her own quiet life, but this didn't feel the same.

"Listen twerp." Jessie starts, Plumie sighs but pays close attention. "Missing someone and _missing someone_ are two different things. Some times its to better to guard your heart when you know things won't work out." Ash wishes Jessie, James, Meowth and their pokemon could find happiness outside of Team Rocket. He knows they would be so much happier.

"And other times it's not about your happiness, but protecting the happiness of the other person." Plumie finishes as Jessie nods. Oh.

Ash looks down at his feet.

"They miss each other _so much."_ Their auras call to one other like two melodies slightly out of synch, it hurts.

Plumie lightly punches his shoulder before shoving her hands into her pockets.

"Their adults, let them solve their problems." She says and starts walking off without another word. James is watching the space between them with a frown.

"That twerpish Professor you live with, is prioritizing you. You and the other twerps have your own issues, don't think we didn't notice, and anyone in their right mind would do their best to not jeopardize that." Kukui-hakase had said something like that. It somehow felt selfish. Denying yourself something to help others.

Wasn't he the same though? Allowing himself to be hurt to protect others.

"Is it really okay?" Jessie doesn't say anything, her arms cross over her chest as she turns away. James shrugs, and Meowth just stares at him. Ash has a feeling that the answer to this, is something that he will have to wait to see.

"Wonder what her deal with that witch is?" Jessie grumbles, Ash winces as he remembers the tongue lashing the trio recieved during the field trip.

"It's fine twerp. She fired impostors and didn't even know it." The three of them grin, Ash can feel their smugness. "And paid handsomely for our final paycheck." Ash very pointedly pays no attention to their acts of fraud and accepts the treat handed to him.

"Thanks." Jessie shudders in a theatrical manner.

"Quit it twerp! You're giving me hives! Now scram already!" She shoves a bag at him, James turns him around and Meowth and Wobbuffet give him a shove. Ash continues forward but waves as he walks off. His pokemon gather around to eat the delicious Malasadas.

Ash pays no mind to the whispers. They always follow him. So does the staring. He dislikes it.

"He's God blessed." He barely twitched, though he did feel a jolt of shock as he heard that. He knows he's heard it a few times now. Olivia and Hala had said something like that before.

For some reason it filled him with dread. Not the kind that preluded disasters of the world ending variety, well only a little. But it was more like. A reminder of _someone._

Maybe he was still worked up from earlier.

Kukui-hakase would know.

It was just his imagination going off.

It had to be.

At any rate, he today was the last day. It was now or never, well no, it was just plain now. Ash was going to tell Kukui-hakase about Aura. And maybe when he works up the courage.

He could finally tell someone about...

  


* * *

  


Kukui knows Ash had asked him for a week before speaking with him about something important but he didn't really believe that Ash would talk to him about it. He wishes that Ash could talk to him without such a heavy weight on his shoulders, but if it helps him to stay silent until he was ready then Kukui could wait. He knows Ash has come a long way from the boy he met in Kanto.

Whatever had hurt Ash.

_Whoever_ had hurt Ash, they would get what was coming to them in due time.

For now, Kukui was happy to help Ash in any capacity. If that meant giving him a week before going to speak with him, then he would. And he would happily let Ash know that he didn't owe Kukui anything.

Kukui was happy with the way things were. He knows Ash was worried about his friendship, relationship with Burnet, but Kukui was okay with admiring her from afar. She probably moved on a long time ago. As long as she was happy, then so was he.

That didn't mean he couldn't see how she was doing every now and then. He had to repay her for looking after Ash.

Somehow. He can feel Incenroar's disappointment. Burnet always was his favorite of Kukui's past girlfriends.

His too, but he loved her enough to let her go.

Somehow, he thinks that might be his biggest regret.

  


  


  


  


  


  


"Ash?" Kukui called when Ash still had yet to enter his room despite lingering in the door way for the past ten minutes. Ash jumped, hands clenching and unclenching at his side.

His eyes roamed nervously from side to side before he finally took at step into Kukui's room. Kukui patted his bed and saved his progress on his laptop. Ash stood at the side of his bed rocking back and forth as if trying to decide whether to climb onto the bed or not.

Kukui let him be.

With Ash it was all about patience, making sure to be slow and offer him comfort when he was willing to accept Kukui in his space.

With Gladion it was boundaries, letting him keep them and allowing him to see that Kukui respected that.

With Lillie it was space, not a lot but enough to let her know Kukui was still around.

Ash crawled onto the bed, sitting closer to the edge but that was fine. He wasn't wearing shoes or his hat.

He was hugging his knees to his chest, bereft of his guards for such a late night. 

"What's God Blessed?" he whispered as if afraid someone would hear him. Kukui shut his laptop and looked at Ash. He looks so small, and its such a difference from the confident young man he is whenever he has a battle. It worries him to see how badly effected he was by whatever happened during the Kalos crisis.

Kukui mentioned it once before in conjunction to Ash's legendary magnetism.

Ash hadn't said anything at the time. Lately though, he's been hearing even more whispers if Ash's status.

"It means someone who is touched by the gods. Drawing people, pokemon and gods to them. Basically a Chosen one of sorts." Ash choked, bolting off his bed and out the door. Kukui shot out of bed after him, absently praying he hadn't broken his laptop.

"Ash!" He called out but Ash slammed into the door, scrambled to open it, then threw it open and ran off into the night before Kukui could reach him.

"Silvally!" Kukui ducked as a pokeball flew overhead. Gladion shoved past him with Pikachu on his shoulder and slid onto Silvally's back. 

  


* * *

  


~~Chosen one~~

~~_CHOSEN ONE_ ~~

~~_**C H O S E N O N E** _ ~~

~~ _**C H O S E N O N E** _ ~~

~~ _**C̴̫̍ ̵̪̦̲̗͕̗̙̼͕̌̋̆̊H̵̖͋͑̿͐ ̷̤̭̠͕̻̿̎͑̚̚O̴̮̳̬̜͙̜̊̉̒͒̀͗͠ ̶̜͓̫̗̰͓̘̙͖͂̈S̸̟̯̘͎̰̜̟̐̾̏̅͗͂̃͛͘͠ͅ ̶̡͙̰͋͑̅̏̏͆̉Ě̴̩̬̙͛̊͝ ̵̧̺̤̥̃͆͑̓̂͝N̸̥̥͂͒̓̑̄̈́̆ ̷̙̉́̑͋͘O̴͔̰̼̫̭̙̞̹̜̊͆̓͗͝ ̴̜͎̏̕N̸̨̮̿̂̒ ̴̺̬̜͐̐È̷̦̩͋̅** _ ~~

~~ _**C̴̫̍ ̵̪̦̲̗͕̗̙̼͕̌̋̆̊H̵̖͋͑̿͐ ̷̤̭̠͕̻̿̎͑̚̚O̴̮̳̬̜͙̜̊̉̒͒̀͗͠ ̶̜͓̫̗̰͓̘̙͖͂̈S̸̟̯̘͎̰̜̟̐̾̏̅͗͂̃͛͘͠ͅ ̶̡͙̰͋͑̅̏̏͆̉Ě̴̩̬̙͛̊͝ ̵̧̺̤̥̃͆͑̓̂͝N̸̥̥͂͒̓̑̄̈́̆ ̷̙̉́̑͋͘O̴͔̰̼̫̭̙̞̹̜̊͆̓͗͝ ̴̜͎̏̕N̸̨̮̿̂̒ ̴̺̬̜͐̐È̷̦̩͋̅** _ ~~

~~ _**C̴̫̍ ̵̪̦̲̗͕̗̙̼͕̌̋̆̊H̵̖͋͑̿͐ ̷̤̭̠͕̻̿̎͑̚̚O̴̮̳̬̜͙̜̊̉̒͒̀͗͠ ̶̜͓̫̗̰͓̘̙͖͂̈S̸̟̯̘͎̰̜̟̐̾̏̅͗͂̃͛͘͠ͅ ̶̡͙̰͋͑̅̏̏͆̉Ě̴̩̬̙͛̊͝ ̵̧̺̤̥̃͆͑̓̂͝N̸̥̥͂͒̓̑̄̈́̆ ̷̙̉́̑͋͘O̴͔̰̼̫̭̙̞̹̜̊͆̓͗͝ ̴̜͎̏̕N̸̨̮̿̂̒ ̴̺̬̜͐̐È̷̦̩͋̅** _ ~~

  


  


  


> _"̸̞̳͉͌Ŝ̶̛̙̳̚o̷̭͂̕ ̵̠̜̈́Ä̶̢̧́s̴̜̎͗͝ͅh̷̤̬̿̌,̴̪̳̾͠ ̷̗̑̋͐Ȋ̴͔'̶̞̃m̴͙̟̝̑ ̷̳͗̅g̴͎͗ỏ̷̙̈͠i̴͇͖͕̔͝ṅ̶͎̋g̸̗̬̤̐͝ ̷̯͂̾t̴͈̬́̑͑ǫ̸̟̦̓ ̷͍̝̾̉̋u̴̥̩̜͆͐ṡ̴̪ẹ̵ ̷͎̠̲̾y̷̞͐o̸̙̙̯̿̋͆u̵̺̣͛̽͝r̶̠̓̏ ̸͎̗̽b̵͙̯̅ǒ̴̠̼̋n̵̛͈̂d̸̢̀ ̶̦̘̘͘͠p̷͛̾̈͜ẖ̴̕e̸̪̋͝ń̶̠o̸̳̥̤͛̑̕ṃ̵̙͍̌̅e̸̡̜̋̐͊ņ̴̢͙͘o̸͔͕̼̍̒ñ̴̝̼̏ ̷͐̎̈ͅi̶̙̫̾͆̆ñ̶͎̕͝ ̷̫͎̃͂͐s̵̨̪͙̀e̴̳̤̦͗ř̶̹̅v̴̨̧̐ỉ̶̞̕c̶͉̯̼͘ë̵̝́̍ͅ ̵̡̳͒ţ̵͐͋̚o̴̞̼͆̋ ̶̐͜ţ̸͗͋h̴̹͚͖͐e̶̙͖͓̋̚ ̵̫̰̠̓ŵ̴̳̬̫o̶̬̓r̶̺̰̦̄̿l̸̦͉̄̈́͜d̵̡̋̕.̷͈̒̀"̶̝͕͓ ̸̲̙̒͂̾F̸̪̞̪̋ē̴̥̥͈ạ̸̳͛r̷̥̘͎͛̓͘ ̴̜͖̭͝f̶͎̯̬̒̕o̸̼͊ͅr̶̨̯͌ ̵͍̣͓͗h̶̃͜į̸̮̭̾̈̕s̸̫̭͎̒͝ ̶̰̼͍͛͆̐p̸̜͐̾̏ơ̶̻̫͔̈́k̷̳̼̝̾͂͝e̵͓̗͆ͅm̴̜͌͠o̵̟͆͊ñ̴̙̪͐ ̸̗̈́͋͌f̴̟̗̼̏ḯ̴̺̹̀l̶̖̋l̴̲̦̘̈́̓ę̷̄͗͋d̶̩̰̆͜͠ ̵̙̮̅h̴̲̰͍́̎͝ĭ̶͎̈́m̴͇̟̓ͅ.̴̧̝̖̇̂ ̴̧̲͕ ̴̪̯̣̅"̷̩͐W̵͖͆̏̂ͅh̸̩̬̱̎͗͘ȇ̵̘͓̻̾̚n̷̹͔̯ ̵̫̥̎͜͠i̴̯̺̓̈́͜ ̸̱̕s̶̱̿̒͋͜a̴͈̟̋̈́̈w̷̰͓͓̏͛̕ ̵̩̳̅̾t̶̬̖̅h̶̭̺̔̓a̴̮̜̩͐̓̈́ẗ̴̮̬͕́̂,̸̭̔̒ ̷̼̍̍̈́i̵̝̬͘ ̴̛̠͈̈ẘ̵̧̪̏̐͜a̴̹̓̇s̵͓̈́ ̴̰̺̼͌̿ť̴̮͌h̴̫͊͝r̸̦̓i̴̖͌l̸̠̆̋l̸̤̥̍ě̵̼͎̤̈́ḑ̷̙͙̈́̆͘.̶̧̛͛̑ ̷̜͕̒ͅY̷̛̞͋o̵̤͊̓̄ṷ̶̫̈́ ̸̯͇̕h̴͈͉͓͐a̵̧̯͑̚v̶̖̅̑ẻ̵̦̗͋ ̵̜̱͙̀̏͘s̴̢̙̊̅͋h̸͕̪͋̋̇ò̴̞̙̾̓w̸̡͕̎̈́n̴̜̫͊͗ ̴͚̮͂ṁ̴̦͓͇͛̂ĕ̷̟̙̮̇̉ ̵̣́ṯ̵́h̷̛̫̖͍̿e̵̥̱͌̇͛r̴̰̽͘͝ë̴̟͊̇ ̴͓̈́̌ȃ̶̖̰̃̃͜r̶̞͇͋̾e̵̫͇̟͂̕ ̶̪̣̠̓͠l̴̠̯̜̿̊͛i̴̹̮̤̐̌m̶͖̭̋i̵̮͂͘ͅț̸̖̝̾̕l̴̹͊̑̈ę̴̒͑͌ș̷̿̆s̶̖͕̒͘ͅ ̸͕̪̤̆p̸͇̫͙͂̾̆o̸̫̞͎̒̊͘s̷̲̒̕s̵̤̹̹̾͗̐į̵̻̰͐b̵̗̝̭͒ǐ̸̖̣̭̔l̴̺̽i̷̺͔̞͝t̵̢͙̥͌ǐ̵̺̲͚ȩ̴̛͚͛s̴̡̓ ̵͉͔͍̽w̴̲͖͚̒i̷̲͋t̶̞̅h̵̩͎͂̏̊ ̵̜̖̅̍p̷̮̦̈́ͅo̶̤͛k̶̻̉͘ȇ̵̗̆̕͜m̷̜̋̏ȯ̷̧̗͓n̴̘̫̒̆̂ ̶̛͇͍̌͝s̵̙͓̩̐̏t̸̥͓̞̊̄i̸̠̺̔̇l̸̺̪̋̅̂l̴̡͔̤̈́͗.̷̟͕̑̊ ̴͙̩̹̍̓A̶̹̳̒̚͝n̸̫͖͜d̸͋ͅ ̶̝̺̥͝ḯ̶̧̩̤ ̷̗̬̍̄w̴̙͕̻̓a̵̡̳̦͋͝͝ņ̴̣̭́̽̕t̴̩̆̈́ ̴̯̈̽͜ṯ̸̔h̴̡̛̒̌ă̷͜t̷̞̹̂̏ ̴̮̈͒ͅp̸̢̗͒o̸̙̽̽w̸̪̑̄̕͜ẹ̸̢̼̈̉r̶̹̮͔̽̐̚.̴͈͓̑ ̵͎̜̼͒F̸̝̹͒͠ͅo̵͇̍̇̏r̸̢͈̾͐ ̴̯̺̃̌m̴̖̙͉̃y̶̜̫͛͒̈́͜s̸̛̰̼̏͜e̷̤̔͆̔l̷̡͔̇f̸͕̯̾.̵͖̿"̵̘͖͕̒ ̴̝̹̤̒T̵͖̪̞͗̐͌ḣ̸̖̩̽̚ë̷̟́̀͑͜ ̵̦̀̓l̴͔͝ủ̶͇s̴̢̛͖̑̆͜t̵̝͓̐̚ͅ,̸̠̗̫̑ ̶͈̙͊̾ṱ̷̪̂̇h̷̬̝̝͗e̴͉̜͠ ̸̮̈̍̅ä̴͈́v̸̳͘ă̶̰͎̱̈́̍r̸̻̺̈i̶̢̒̍̐c̷̠̀͆̈e̸̢͂̾͠ ̸̭͙͎͊̽͝i̶͓͕̭͊̎n̷̛̻̒̀ ̵̧͓̝̈́̏̆t̵̹͖͘̚͝h̶̦̖͒͊͐i̴̘͐̚s̸̙̽͆ ̵̤͇͍́m̴̥̱͓̕a̸̜̤̾ͅn̴̡͚͔̓̈́͋ ̷̛̮̓̽͜ͅf̴̢̳̂̚r̴̼̀̿͂i̶͇͙͊͒g̸̪̥̈́͋ḧ̸̢͇́͝t̸͉͈̣͑e̴̪͑n̷̹̪͈̐̏̔e̶̡̛̜̬͌d̸̦͂̋ ̵̜̃̿h̶̡̫́i̴̤̮̖͑̇m̴̢̰̠͑̂̅.̵̟̊̏̕͜_   
>  _̷̧̝̰̾_   
>  _̸̪̳͈͊̕̚"̷̧̞̈̎͋N̸̥̑͑̚ö̴͔̑w̵̡̌ ̸͍̠̥̒͌Ȁ̷͔̩ͅs̷̔͜h̶̛̯̎ͅ.̴̱̠̽̈ ̷͉͈͛N̵̝̟̘̑̉o̸͓͖̜͐̑͘w̸̛͈͇͋̌ ̴̰̙̲̊̀̂Ğ̶̳͇̦͌̇r̸̫̯̅̐ê̶̪̭̬ṋ̸̤͒̂i̵̮̦͗̎n̴̞̜̆̚j̶̰͈̓ä̸̲̟́.̶̯͗͘ ̷̪͒̒Į̶̳̥̃̈́͘m̴͖͓̪͑̇̈́ ̵͇̄̏a̴̺̞͂̃l̷̛͓͍̉s̶͔̻͊ȍ̶̝̩͛ ̷̧͚͕̈́g̶͆̇ͅơ̷̬̄̄ḭ̷̺͌̐n̶͔̓̚͠g̵̨̙̻͠͝ ̷͙̥̳͆̏̈ẗ̸̲́ǒ̷̝͂ ̴͓̆͘c̷͈̥͛͜o̶͍͠͠n̷̢̧̪̍t̸̛̳̗͒r̴̜̍͘ō̶̯̹͈͋̔l̷̮̪̅ ̷̼̇̏͝ỵ̵̙͌̕͝ȏ̸̻̼ͅu̸͍͔̇̈́r̴̢͊̇ ̶̨̝̗͐b̵͙̮͑̚ǫ̸̢̘͛n̴̗̲͚̉d̷͕̽ ̵͙͉̉́͠ṕ̶̟̾͆h̵̖̓͘ḙ̷̠̂̿̇n̵͚̅͑o̸̻̹̔͆m̸̥̩̤̃͐ę̶̘̏n̴͇̐̌̒ò̴̹̳̓̚n̸̰̉̕.̷̩̃̋͗"̵̗͗͂͝ ̴̜͗Ń̶͎̺̦o̶̖̝͊!̵̘̀ ̵͉̔ͅḦ̴͇̗̘e̸̼ ̷̞̏̈́ͅḋ̷̲͎ͅi̷̱̎ď̷̢͎̟̌̀ṇ̶̦̉'̷̩̗̊͂t̷̨̰̝̎̆͂w̷̫̬̩̏̚a̵̙̎̈͘n̸͈̤̑̾̍t̸̢̛͆͌ ̶̱̓̿t̵̝̹͎͒ȟ̵̢̒̚i̷̲͇͛͜͠s̶̥̠͂͋̈́!̵̘͔̭̆!̸̟͛!̵̢̣̠̄!̶̭̜̋!̸̡͍͙͆ ̷̡͒́ͅ"̶̼̓F̸̰̮̣̏r̶̞̃͘͠ǒ̶͍͆m̶̻̤̦͂͘ ̴̙̅t̴̺̆́h̵̟̅̕i̸̼̊̊s̴̤̉͛ ̶̦̱̩͊͑̓p̷̣̕õ̵̥̟̪̌̏i̷͇̻̇ń̴͍͆̚ṯ̴̛̑ ̷̪̫͂͝ͅo̶̩̝͎̽̔̉n̶̠̩͈͝,̸̦̻͖̽̉ ̸̢̯̉̂b̷͍͒ȏ̸̯̿͐t̶̮̙͖̽ḥ̷̥̀̾͂ ̸̙̱̑̃͋o̴͈̫͂̐͠f̸͍̯̲̚ ̵̖̹̹̅͝y̸̤̐ǒ̵̲͗u̵̥̞̬̽̚ ̵̬̝͛̊͑ẅ̶̪̃i̶̮̔̅l̸̘͍̏̋l̶̨̹̼̈̽͘ ̷͈̰̀͝a̵͋͜͝n̵̡̼͑͠s̸͈̐̔ẁ̷̮́̕ȩ̶͔̣̈͗r̴̘̙̣͛̕ ̵̖́͘t̵̜͗̎ȏ̵͚̾ ̶̡͋̚ṃ̴̻͝ȇ̶̙͑͝.̵̱͋̆͘"̴̰͙͖̎ ̷̢̤̂ ̷̘̕Ḁ̷̂̽͂s̶̹̺͊̆h̶̟͈͂̋̈ ̷̢̤̇͊̕f̷̰̝̉ö̶̤́̔ṳ̵̘̤̊g̸̛̫̬̫͂͛ĥ̶̫̼͘ţ̵̦͕̀͐,̶̨̱̗̾͘ ̵̤̜͐̂d̸͉̂͝e̵̒͆̕͜s̴̩͎͠p̴͉̽i̶͇̞̥̅t̵͇̚e̷͚̲̚ ̷̨̡̠͛̽t̸̫̒h̴̼̻̺̑e̸̳̘͓̍ ̵̨̛̥b̸͚̠̖̈́ư̵̠̩͊r̴̙̈́n̷̩̟̻̎̀̽i̴̧̩͔͗̓͊n̸̑͐͜ğ̷͚͍̆̚.̵̧͖̍ ̷̦̩̋̏̂D̸͚̜͚̽͘é̴͜s̴̺͈p̵͎̙͌̅i̷̖̪̬̋̊t̸̠̝͈͆e̶̛̦̦̓͘ ̵͌̕ͅt̷̯͌̍ḥ̵̗̅͑̌e̴̟̞͓͊ ̸̧̛̩̮͝p̵͖̏̔͝ä̶̲̣̫́i̴̙͐̅ņ̵̻̉̋,̶̣̍̃̉ ̴̹̆̎h̷͚̲̺̑̃͒ẹ̴̏͘ ̴͙̟̔̔̆w̷̢̮͑̔̃ỏ̸̥̗̲̂́u̶͔̱͒͊l̵͎̤̳̅͝d̴͔̘͗n̸͇̖̲̐'̶̱̐̅̐t̶̞̜͚!̷̱̯̗͝!̶̙͌̈́̚!̸̜̫̿!̷̢̖̇!̸̡̥̩̈͑̾!̷̧͍̻͝ ̵͎̮̈́̌"̷̞̺̿͘ ̷̢̄͐̿Y̶͓̟͒̂o̶̮̓̅̂ú̷̢̖͂ ̷͖͍͇͌s̴͉̫̑̉t̴̙̏i̴̠̍͊̓l̵̠̫̄l̵̬̓̿ ̶̟̳̐f̷̢͍̠̔a̷̹͌̐̂ĭ̵̧̻͙͊l̴̫͊ ̸̝͔̋̈t̶̥̬͉̄̋̍ọ̵̭͠ ̸̢̘͓̋̔͠u̸͚͊̂n̶̼͈͎̏̚d̶̰̦̳́e̴͈̘̲̔̑r̴̖̺̻̅͆s̷͈̫̫̓̐t̶͚̓́̕ͅä̷̼́͠n̸̘̗̓d̸̖͇̐̌͜.̷͙͓̿͗ ̵̬͚̻̈́̔̐Ȏ̷͔̜n̴͆̆̆ͅͅc̷̬̈́̚ȩ̵̼̝̓ ̴͚͒t̵̗̹͘ḣ̵̛̫̰̜͋e̷̱͉͊̈́̕ ̸͖͒̉c̶̨̺͝u̵̱͑̔r̸͓̖̻̈̚r̷̡̻̅͜e̸͉̐͌ṅ̵̳̗̯͋t̸̹͗͛͝ ̷͉̜̓͜ẅ̵̘̃o̸̩̱̽͂r̶̫̐̕l̸̗̓͐̃d̴̪͒ ̸̭̠̞̇̉i̴̹̊̎s̴̩̈́̃͜ ̷̨͠ḃ̷̤͊͌ę̶͆c̴̣̽o̸͈̍̏m̴̟͐̍e̴̪͋s̷̛̪̄̂ ̶̲̜̓à̶̞̋̈́ ̴̛͎̬̄t̵̹̿̽h̵̰̜͐i̷͉̣̅̆n̴̩͆͝ḡ̷͇͆̅ ̶̲̤̇͒̄ö̷̯f̶̖͆ ̵͎̒̂ẗ̵̺̱́̏̾h̷͖̱̃͘e̴̅ͅ ̶̮̈́p̸̡̖̣͑̽̌a̴̬̦͇̍̈́͠s̵͆̾ͅṫ̸̮͖͚̈́̇,̵͚̭̰̂ ̵͕́y̴͕̩̆o̷̝͎̓ṳ̴͚͎̅͒ ̸̤̝̎̿̓s̴̩͓͆̇̈h̵̯́a̶̗̍̚l̴̨̬̪͐̓̈ļ̴͉̻̈́ ̴̜͈̤̉̉ḇ̶̡̰̐ḛ̷̹̟̐ ̸̲̯̃͘ͅt̴̹̪̝̀h̸̡͖̅è̷̼͈̞͛ ̴̣̱̘́̈́g̷̡̥̖̾͂̀u̶͛̆ͅị̷̈̂d̶͖̋̋e̸̬͋́͝ ̶̨̈́̐̈f̵̲̔͗̊õ̷̹̤̳͌r̴͔͋ ̸̡̫̪̀̉t̵͎̭̯̉͛h̴̫̜̊̍ė̶̩̤͈͒ ̷͇͛̈́̓C̸̩̲̓̊͒h̵̯͔̎o̷̯͓͑s̷̨̨̗̽͝e̶͕͎̠̓͠n̵͖̫̜̄.̸̗͈̀͂"̷̨̥̆͛̈́ ̸̬̟̈́_

**_Burning._ **

**_Pain._ **

**_Liquid fire filling his entire being._ **

**_The cries of the world._ **

**_Suffering._ **

**_Threatening to consume him._ **

**_Red._ **

**_So much red._ **

"PIKAPI!!!!" the world went dark.

Something was restraining him. _Again!_

Ash fought.

He struggled for all he was worth because it was expected of him.

"Pikapi!!!" Pikachu cried again. Ash choked on a sob as he fought and pushed.

"Shh." Ash sobbed, pushing one more time before giving up. Heart threatening to leap out of his chest he collapsed into the steady restraint.

There was a buzzing in his ears, a hand on the back of his head and another rubbing his back.

There was warmth too. It was all encompassing.

But there was so much hurt and fear, it was drowning out the warmth. He was afraid. So afraid.

He didn't want to remember!!!!!!

  


  


* * *

  


  


Kukui jumped off Silvally, rolling with the force of his momentum before springing back up to his feet and uttering a quick apology as he reached out and snagged Ash's arm. He winced at the pained yelped.

He dragged Ash into his arms but Ash was hysterical. Eyes clenched shut as he sobbed and snarled threats while pushing and kicking at Kukui. Kukui grunted, shaking his head at Gladion and Pikachu.

They all watched helpless as Ash struggled and screamed through his tears.

_**"No!!! No!!!! I don't want to!!!! Please!!!!!"** _

It hurt to hear him screaming and pleading. His words hurt far more than his kicks.

Then he stopped.

Finally.

He collapsed into Kukui's chest with tired and frightened sobs. Kukui wrapped him up in a loose hug and shushed him. Rubbing his back and just held him close.

Pikachu hopped off Gladion's shoulder and used Kukui's lab coat to climb up. Ash continued sobbing. Sounding so much like a frightened child it physically hurt Kukui. Pikachu delicately perched on Ash's shoulder and rubbed his cheek to Ash's.

Tears stained his fur, but Pikachu was crying as well.

Rubbing a paw through Ash's hair.

"Pikapi." He called out, smiling despite his tears and all Kukui could try to do was hold Ash together.

  


* * *

  


Gladion rubbed his sleeves over his eyes as he watched Ash sob brokenly.

He has no idea what happened. Just that he had been on his way to bed when he heard the sound of running feet. Then, Ash barreled into the door and escaped into the night.

He hadn't wasted a second and recalled Silvally into his pokeball and threw it out the door as he told Lillie to stay safe as Pikachu jumped onto his shoulder with a pokeball. Gladion activated the pokeball and released the pokemon inside.

It was Bayleef.

Gladion was glad that Ash's pokemon knew how to help him when they floundered. It was painful. To just stand by and be able to do nothing to ease the suffering before him.

It hurt.

Being reminded that he could not always help. Not where it really mattered.

The pokemon took one look at Ash and was at his side in an instant. Vines wrapping loosely around his waist as a sweet scent filled the air. The sobs slowly quieted, Pikachu spoke soothingly and continued to pet Ash's hair.

Little by little Ash leaned more weight against Kukui until the Professor was supporting all of his weight. The occasional sobs followed by a hiccup was the only sign that Ash was awake.

There was a muffled plea, then silence.

"Ash?" Kukui called, Ash weakly flinched but even that seemed to tire him.

"Pika! Chukapi Pikapi." Pikachu shouted before calmly going back to soothing. Ash's legs gave out, Kukui lifted Ash into his arms and Gladion could see that he was asleep. Kukui's troubled gaze met his own.

What on Bulu's green earth happened?

  


* * *

  


Lillie waited anxiously for her brothers and Kukui to return. Mew was watching with a knowing glint.

Somehow always knowing.

Scraggy was sitting on a pillow beside Lycanroc and Torracat. Rowlet was sitting beside an oddly subdued Rotom and Snowy. All Lillie can do is wait. She looks down at her hands, clenches them tightly as shame fills her. If she were braver, she could have followed after Ash. She was going to touch Silvally. She would touch Silvally. Not just because she failed to run after Ash when he was highly distressed, but for herself.

She was _tired_ of being afraid.

She was **brave!**

She was **brave** _and_ **stronger** than this fear.

  


  


It was nearing twenty minutes when she heard footsteps. She was on her feet in seconds, hands clenching her pajama top where her heart was.

Gladion walked in with Silvally behind him, he looked hurt.

Next came Bayleef.

Last was Professor Kukui, bruised and roughed up, carrying Ash and Pikachu.

"What happened?" Her brother shrugged as did Professor Kukui, but he was the last one Ash was with before this happened.

"Let me get him into bed." The pair of siblings watched as Ash was tucked into bed, his pokemon piling around him in a silent vigil.

Lillie could see tears staining his cheeks. Professor Kukui lightly thumbed them away and covered him up before they left the room.

"Ash asked me what god blessed meant. And i told him... then he ran off." Lillie looked at her bare feet, remembering the barely noticeable scars along Ash's wrists and ankles.

His fear of restraint.

Her stomach churned as she blinked back tears.

"He's afraid of being restrained..." she swallowed thickly as Professor Kukui and her brother turned to look at her. "And he has scars along his wrists and some on his ankles that he doesn't know I've seen." She continued as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Mew floated down to rest across Lillie's shoulders and nodded before shaking her head and pointing at Professor Kukui.

He pointed to himself in confusion.

"I... scared him?" Mew nodded once more then pointed to his mouth.

"With something he said?" Mew nodded at Brother's guess. Professor Kukui repeated everything he and Ash discussed word for word until Mew stopped him on two.

_**Chosen One.** _

A shudder crawled down her spine as she imagined various scenarios that could lead to Ash's trauma now that they finally had some clues about it.

  


* * *

  


Hadn't his partner suffered enough? They had come to Alola for peace. Peace that was helping to soothe his tired soul.

Pikachu was there to wipe away every tear.

Pikachu was there to silence the cries of fear.

Or pain.

The quiet tears of anger and betrayal.

Pikachu was there every _single_ time Ash would wake himself screaming with nightmares.

Real or imagined.

It _hurt_. Watching Ash put off sleep.

_IT **hurt**_ **.** Seeing Ash pass up food.

_**It HuRt. **_Seeing that vacant look.

Alola was different. Pikachu had seen the changes. Little by Little Ash was healing. Becoming like the person he used to be, though Pikachu knew he would never be the same.

Why did the world make his partner suffer?

After everything they had done.

A whimper caught his attention.

Pikachu crawled off Ash's chest and curled up right beside his cheek and gave it a lick. He patted Ash's cheek and called softly to him.

Telling him it was a nightmare and that he was safe. Torracat crawled onto the bed and curled up at his hip while Lycanroc moved from the end of the bed to Ash's side and nosed at his hand until the hand was buried in his fur.

Ash slowly was lulled to sleep. Rowlet nodded to him and slipped out the window to seek out one of the Guardian Deities.

  


* * *

  


It's late.

Nearing three in the morning and Kukui is just about to head to bed when Ash's door slides open. Ash steps out, his eyes red rimmed and hair a mess, Pikachu on his shoulder and Nebby and Scraggy in his arms as he shuffles over to the table.

He doesn't say anything as he sits down. Kukui glances down as his cold tapu coco, then glances at the pot on the stove and reaches over to turn the stove on.

Scraggy climbs onto the table, offering Ash a comforting pat, then promptly uses Scary face at Kukui.

Mew floats down from the loft and settles across Ash's shoulders. Ash looks down at his empty hand and Kukui can see faint scars on his wrist and wonders how he's never noticed them.

"What do you know about aura?" He asks in a hoarse whisper. He flinches when he catches sight of Kukui's eyes on his wrist and pulls his hand off the table. Kukui listens to the steady hiss of the fire, he thinks back to cold days in Unova where he used to cuddle into Burnet as she laughed and told him that summer in Unova was not cold.

He recalls the gleam in her hazel eyes as she talked about the Kanto legends. The one about Sir Aaron being her favorite. 

_"They say Sir Aaron was as strong as any pokemon and could fight better than his partner Lucario. It's really too bad that he vanished one day." Burnet looks sad as she caresses a page with a man in a blue coat, with a pointed hat and a staff raised over his head. Kukui looks at the small caption._

_'Painted at Cameroon Castle.' There is a Pidgeotto in the painting but no Lucario._

_"What happened to his Lucario?" Burnet flips through the pages and shows a beautiful crystal flower, she runs her finger through the page until she reaches a paragraph._

_"It is unknown what happened to Sir Aaron and his faithful Lucario. They vanished on the day of a huge battle between rival kingdoms. But there was a feeling of peace that spread between the kingdoms and both sides laid their weapons down and the fighting stopped. Some say that this was the will of Sir Aaron." Burnet closes the book and holds it by her cheek as she curls into Kukui's side._

_"They say Sir Aaron was one of the finest Aura Guardians of all time and none could compare to him. His ability to wield aura has been unmatched for decades, even during the decline of aura wielders, they could never produce another who could take his place. Some people think that with Sir Aaron's passing, aura went on the decline because people feared the other Guardians becoming strong if not stronger than the bar he had left behind." Kukui listened to her talk about aura. It's abilities and uses._

_The Guardians, the temples dedicated to raising new Guardians and then she sadly talked about the way the aura Guardians were betrayed and hunted down until very few remained and went into hiding. Her tears struck him as he held her tightly._

_"We'll protect anyone that has aura. We're not going to let history repeat." He murmurs softly to her._

  


"I know that Aura is the life force in every living being. It can be used to fight, protect, heal, and sense. There are a few pokemon that can use it, most noticeably the ones that come to mind are Lucario and Riolu." Kukui turns off the stove and serves Ash a cup of tapu coco.

Mew uses psychic to grab the cup and sets it on the table, Ash doesn't move to grab it. His shoulders are tense, he looks afraid.

"Why don't you get some more sleep Ash. You need to re-" Ash jerks his head to the side, Scraggy has finally reached the end of the table and leers up at Kukui. Kukui accidentally meets Scraggy's eyes and winces at the headbutt to the collar bone he received. Ash taps the underside of the table, Scraggy leers once more at him then makes his way to Ash with a smugness in his step.

"People... can use Aura." Ash begins tersely. Pikachu is watching him with a concerned look, Mew stares at him with a solemn look that unnerves Kukui.

"Aura Guardians. But they went extinct." Kukui freezes as Ash's shoulders jerk up slightly, his jaw locked.

"Ash..." Kukui starts, Ash shrugs then jerkily nods his head as he hugs Nebby closer. The door opens behind them and Tapu Fini enters his house. Ash stiffens, his shoulders are nearly touching his ears now.

"Pikapi." Pikachu calls softly, pressing his paw to Ash's cheek as if to reassure him. Kukui wants to help Ash. He just doesn't know how.

Or if he can.

Kukui had promised to hear Ash out, but not at this expense.

"What if..." Ash swipes a hand across his cheek, Kukui feels his heart throb and looks to Tapu Fini for guidance. Tapu Fini gazes at him, peace in their eyes as the room begins to fill with mist. Ash whirls around so fast, Kukui hears a crack.

Ash looks hurt, Tapu Fini dips their head and then Kukui recalls very faintly, a legend about Tapu Fini and mist. He's by Ash's side in seconds and lowering him into his seat as his legs give out.

"Please no." Ash half sobs, half pleads as he bows his head. Pikachu looks pissed as he turns to face Tapu Fini but the Guardian is no longer visible.

_"Ash."_ Ash stiffens, hands around his pokemon as he holds them tightly. He looks up and smiles. It's painful to see. 

"Lucario, I'm sorry." Kukui didn't know Ash had lost a Lucario, yet it also feels as if he is missing a piece.

" _It's good to see you my friend._ " Lucario was talking. Speaking full human sentences.

" _Thank you for showing me the truth and allowing me to reunite with Aaron._ " Ash looks too choked up to speak as he stares at Lucario like a man who has lost everything and gained just as much 

"Pikachupika Pikapi." Pikachu says, eyes moist as he waves to Lucario.

" _It's good to see you too. I'm glad to see your bond is stronger than ever. That is not why I'm here._ " Lucario looks at him, his stare is hard and unrelenting, despite this, Kukui chooses to remain by Ash's side.

Lucario walks forward until he stands before Ash and then kneels as he extends his paws. Ash reaches out a hand and gently grasps a paw.

" _The Aura is with me, and it is with you_." Ash nods, he no longer seems tense. He can see a faint blue outline between Lucario's paws. Ash's hand is slowly turned over until his palm is facing up, the blue outline grows.

"The Aura is with me, and it is with you." He repeats, taking a deep breath as Nebby and Scraggy lean closer.

" _He can no longer hurt you. You can believe in your instincts, should you continue to doubt yourself, know that you can believe in Pikachu. I'm sorry i could not teach you more._ " Ash looks up at Lucario, a smile that is soft and peaceful rests against his lips.

"I'm happy that you could be with Sir Aaron, that's what's important." Kukui feels shocked. How does Ash-, no, is this Sir Aaron's Lucario? How does-, what is going on?

" _You can trust this man. Aura Guardians maybe gone from this present world, but the handful that remain will always be needed. You are still young, and untrained, under the correct guidance._ " Lucario removes his paws and there is a small orb of aura in Ash's hands. Ash slowly closes his hand and the orb disperses.

" _You will become even greater than Aaron. He believes your potential is greater than his was at your age._ " Kukui feels his mouth drop open, then a man darts out of the mist.

" _Yes! I did it!_ " Ash doesn't seem surprised to see Sir Aaron standing in Kukui's kitchen. So Kukui won't either.

" _Hey kiddo, thanks for helping Lucario, and sorry about that stuff in the tree of beginnings. Only the Aura Guardians knew about it and seeing how the purge ended our lines... well..._ " Sir Aaron shrugs, Ash seems to brush off whatever he is saying.

" _So, my young descendant, i will give you a gift._ " Ash is gently pulled to his feet, Sir Aaron leans forward and rests his forehead against Ash's and closes his eyes. Ash looks up, eyes peering at Lucario who somehow conveys that all is well and Ash relaxes completely as he shuts his eyes.

" _This will come in handy later on, use this knowledge well. The aura is with me, as it is with you._ " Ash looks down at their entwined hands and gives them a squeeze.

"The aura is with me, as it is with you." The two Kantonese legends smile and begin to fade away, leaving Ash standing with just his pokemon as he looks down at his hands. 

"Kukui-hakase." Ash glances back at him, and then smiles. "I have aura."


	14. You And I Are Reaching Out Our Hands, And As Long As We're Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: let it out- fma ending, amalee cover  
> GLADION'S PLAYLIST:  
> Get lucky- daft punk  
> Shape of you- ed sheeran  
> Can you feel the love - lion king  
> Have you ever really loved a woman - bryan adams

Burnet feels exasperated as she finds Lusamine once again trying to talk to Ash. No matter how many times she attempts it, the answer will always be the same. He doesn't want to talk to her.

Burnet lays her hand on Ash's wrist, she feels thin scars and feels concern but focuses on pushing him away as she once more gets between him and Lusamine. Lillie is glaring at them both, she loops her arm around Ash's elbow and marches off.

Burnet laughs, her heart throbbing as she see Kukui from afar. He slings his arm over Ash's shoulder and asks him something with such a soft look in his eyes. She misses him more and more with each passing day.

Kukui looks up, he sees her staring and before she can turn away, he smiles at her. The very same smile that he always had when he would see her after a long day.

It was 'i missed you, I'm glad to see you, and by the gods do i love you', all rolled into one. She gathers her courage and waves, she does not wait to see if he returns the gesture. She doesn't know how she will react if he doesn't, she doesn't know what she will do if he does. So she faces away and follows Lusamine.

Just because he smiled at her the way he used, the smile reserved for her alone, doesn't mean a thing. He's grateful she stopped Ash from being harrassed. That's all.

Burnet is sitting at Oranguru's cafe with a juice in hand as she stares at the sky in a daze. She comes back to herself when she's boxed in by two members of Team Skull and feels uneasy, but all they do is sit and stare at the counter while waiting for Oranguru to fill their orders. Slowly, she relaxes and resumes staring at the sky.

"You got it bad." She jumps at abruptly being addressed by the pink and blonde haired woman. She rests her elbow against the bar, chin atop the back of her wrist as she leers at Burnet. Behind her the male has crossed his arms on the bar and rest his cheek against them with a fierce scowl.

"What the heck you moping about?" And despite their bad reputation, Burnet is just so _tired._ So she tells them. About dating Kukui, how they drifted apart to focus on their goals and ended their relationship amicably. Seeing him for the first time in many years in his home with a boy who had an unknown pokemon. How he stood by the boy's side and then took in Lusamine's daughter when she abruptly decided she no longer wanted to live at home, Burnet sees the woman sneer at the mention of Lusamine while the male buries his face in his arms.

She tells them how the kid is scared of people. Wary, in ways she never knew people could be, and how Lusamine's daughter had pokephobia but was able to touch two pokemon. How Lusamine's missing son had reappeared and was living with Kukui and how all three kids seem to get along so well it was almost like they've been raised together since childhood. It was sweet.

She tells them of her secret wish for a big family and how it might never happen because she had found the one.

And let him slip away.

How he couldn't possibly have room in his heart for her.

An arm is slung around her shoulders, the woman leans against her.

"You poor misguided fool. Let Big Sis let you in on a little secret."

She leans in close and whispers into Burnet's ear. Then leans back as if she hadn't just said those words. Those words that had hope blooming in her chest despite how hard she tried to quash it.

"Urgh. Of course it's the stubborn ones. Fine, fine. Up you go."

Burnet and Kukui were going on their first date. It was nerve wracking. Kukui looked harrassed as he left his home with three teenagers standing in the doorway. Two smiling innocently and the third smirking with mischief in his eyes. He waves, mouthing _'Toodles'_ as he does so.

Burnet looks at Kukui who simply shakes his head and mutters later.

They go to a nice seaside diner, nothing to fancy or intimate for their first date. They agreed to take it slow, test the waters. Get to know one another again.

Burnet felt her heart flutter as Kukui extends his hand, pausing as if realizing what he did and made to pull his hand back when she extended her hand. He smiles at her, and she falls just a little bit more in love with him.

"What did you do after you left Unova?" Burnet asks as they walk along the sand to reach the diner. Kukui looks embarrassed, a light flush barely visible in his cheeks.

"Well... Incenroar wouldn't talk to me for a month after we broke up, so i traveled a bit to try and get him back to talking with me. By the time I left for Kanto, to take the test, i caught a Bulbasaur there." Kukui pauses, he grins as if remembering something and lightly swings their conjoined hands.

"I remember you used to say Bulbasaur was the cutest of the Kanto starters." Burnet's cheeks heat up as she points at him.

"They are! No other pokemon starter will be as cute as Bulbasaur! Except maybe Oshawott." She defends, Kukui is laughing, fully belly laughing as he tugs her along from where she stopped.

"I wasn't saying anything against it!" He runs a finger under his glasses. "It's cute." Smooth. Real smooth Kukui.

"Yeah, well, at least you admit it's the truth." Burnet remembers the first time they talked about starters when he was given three eggs of the starters to raise and observe. He hadn't said he had a favorite, and hadn't argued against her favorite but when Oshawatt hatched... she was a high contender and he peacefully kept his mouth shut.

"After a few months in Kanto, i decided i might as well try the league there. I won the league, but i lost to Champion Lance, all five of my pokemon beaten..." Kukui glances down at the ground with a contemplative look. "I think I understand what he was trying to tell me back then." He says as if he's laid his demons to rest.

"What did you do?" He asks her, and she remembers her internship, her friendship with Fennel and Professor Juniper. Studying Munna, seeing the dreams and being able to interact with them. Discovering the ultra world by mistake and then being recruited by Lusamine.

Faintly recalling a hybrid pokemon's death and the disappearance of a coworker who had been traumatized by it.

"I stayed in Unova for a few more years before i was recruited by Aether." Burnet smiles, she remembers landing in Alola and seeing how beautiful it was. And how she begrudgingly agreed it was more beautiful to look at than Unova.

"How long did it take you to get used to the weather?" He asks with a knowing grin as they walk up the steps to the diner, accept seating and menus and order water and juice.

Burnet won't admit to overheating, because she had too much fun poking fun at how easily cold Kukui used to get.

"No comment." She says and takes a large gulp of juice at the teasing grin resting at the edges of his lips. It flickers as he glances out the window with a soft frown, he shakes his head and turns back to her.

"So, you now have had authentic Malasadas. What's the verdict?" Burnet looks down at the menu, decides its okay to splurge a little and orders Poke. Kukui orders Loco Moco.

"They taste better here..." she mutters into the rim of her glass.

Burnet and Kukui talk about old times, the times in between, very pointedly not talking about the kids now under Kukui's watch. Yet his mind seemed to wander to them at times.

"I want to say that it was a great battle, but Champion Lance wiped the floor with his Dragonite." Kukui grimaced, hand coming up to rub his neck. "Ash still thought it was amazing that i faced Lance." His shoulders slump as he looks down at the table with a worried frown. Burnet reaches across the table, bending down slightly to meet his gaze, and smiles.

"You're really worried about them, aren't you?" Kukui sighs, curling his fingers to wrap around her hand.

"Sorry, I'm not being a very good date right now." Burnet shakes her head and tugs his hand as she stands up, abandoning her half finished Poke.

"Why don't we finish up date night with food _and_ your kids, _worried papa."_ She grins, he looks surprised before he smiles widely at her.

"We did say nothing fancy for a first date, didn't we?" He asks rhetorically as he tosses money on the table and tugs her forward as they head to his home.

Burnet is glad she said yes.

* * *

Gladion is slumped over on the couch, watching Ash and Lillie sit on the floor with Nebby between them and Bayleef using sweet scent. Ash has his hand outstretched, fingertips outlined by a faint blue, and Gladion recalls two nights ago with sudden clarity.

_Ash running out into the middle of the night without shoes, Kukui running after him, chasing after them and Kukui hugging Ash as he fought and cried until he was utterly spent. The talk with Mew and the revelations that Lillie had uttered in a quiet voice filled with dread._

_Eavesdropping on the conversation between Ash and Kukui and feeling guilty. Learning about Aura, then Tapu Fini and the truth of the mist being revealed. He focuses and tries to see through the mist, keeping hold of Lillie's hand as she stands. His father does not appear, it is a relief._

_Then he listens and hears faint whispers, as if Kukui and Ash were farther away then six feet. It was faint, but he could make out an outline of a Lucario._

_The mist fades, and suddenly Ash is standing, facing away from Kukui when he smiles and reveals aura. He raises a fist to his chest and taps above where his heart is and Pikachu looks on with relief._

_Gladion and Lillie make their way to the two and listen with rapt attention._

_What follows is an in depth conversation of Aura. Ash's ability, his lineage, and how he came to find out about aura. Meeting Sir Aaron's Lucario, finding out about history through their eyes and then changing their painfully betrayed view with truth._

_Dying._

_So nonchalant about dying, it nearly threw them all for a loop, asking if he meant a close call. But no, he did actually die and then almost died fifteen minutes later trying to save Mew._

_Losing Lucario, finding out what really happened to Sir Aaron and then burying the memories because of the pain._

_Then he asked them a question that made Gladion feel even more protective of him._

_"I don't think I'll ever be ready to talk about what happened that time..." Ash looks down at Nebby, rocking the baby and Scraggy to sleep. "But i think, i might want to tell you anyways, will you wait for me?" He asks, eyes closed as he slumps down into his seat. He looks as if he were ready to wait all night for their answers. Gladion didn't even have to look at Lillie or Kukui before he responded._

_"We could wait forever and a day, and it wouldn't matter if you never tell us. It won't change the way we feel." Ash opens his eyes, a hint of surprise in them before he smiles brightly._

Gladion focuses on Nebby, inching forward while Ash presses a finger to Lillie's knee while she shakily extends her hand. Her fingers curl around Nebby and she looks proud and relieved when she curls her other hand around Nebby.

"Alright, I'm heading out to run a few errands." The three of them look up at Kukui, they wave him off and the second Umbreon give the okay, Gladion is sitting down between Ash and Lillie.

"Ok, i already asked Plumeria for help with Kukui's stubbornness to do right by us. We need to set up the perfect opportunity." Gladion says as he meets Lillie's determined eyes and Ash's thoughtful ones.

"Kukui-hakase... he... he really misses her, but he's happy. And Burnet-hakase really misses him too..." Ash pauses, likely trying to figure out how to word something. They are used to this now and give him time to think, Gladion holds Lillie's hand as Silvally gets closer. She looks up at Silvally, no longer freezing through sheer determination, but Gladion can feel her shaking.

"Burnet-hakase is nice, really nice. She feels different from Lusamine, and..." Ash looks down at his hands, opening and closing them. "I don't think I'm scared of her, not the same way _She_ scares me." He frowns, he looks confused as he raises his head to meet both his and Lillie's gaze.

"How does it feel when it's her, compared to mother?" Ash lowers his hands so they rest on his lap.

"It's like, I'm not really here. Like static, and then it disappears when she let's go." Pikachu sits on his shoulder muttering something to Ash who nods. "And when Burnet-hakase touches me, it's like... i feel itchy?" Ash looks up and crosses his arms over his chest. "Kinda like when i get wrapped up in my blankets." That's an interesting analogy, but it does make sense. She feels nonthreatening to him but he is uncomfortable with the touch so he would no doubt squirm to get away.

Lillie is petting Nebby when she makes a soft sound of enlightenment.

"An intervention! It was on the tv yesterday. You sit around in a group and intervene in someone's life and make it better!" That could work. They could actually do this.

"We need a list of things to counteract each argument."

Gladion vetoes the hastily created poster board with marriage plans. They were going for a date, not long term commitment.

"This is an intervention." Ash says, arms crossed over his chest as he blocks Kukui from heading to his room.

"We know you really miss Professor Burnet." Lillie says, arms crossed over her chest as she blocks the way to the living room.

"And we have come up with plenty of arguments to stand by our statement that you should date her." Gladion says, hand resting against his hip as he boxes Kukui in the kitchen.

"Hold up there kids, i don't think you know what you're talking about." Strike one, Ash.

"Burnet-hakase is really nice and she misses you as much as you miss her." He starts, Kukui looks touched to hear that but raises his hand to protest. Strike two, Lillie.

"We planned for her living with us when we remodeled the house. We're happy that you chose us, but stifling your own happiness is sabotaging your own emotional health." Kukui looks serious, he lowers his hands and leans back against the sink.

"Ok." Gladion didn't expect him to give up that easily, maybe he was trying to lead by example? Even so, Gladion goes next.

"Don't you think, that for us to see you in a happy, healthy relationship..." Gladion remembers that look that he aimed at Burnet. He remembers how mother used to look at father. How she looked at them. How the look gradually faded in place of madness as she searched desperately for father until there was no more room in her heart for them.

How Kukui opened his heart for them.

To Lillie.

Then to Ash.

Then to him, when Ash dragged him home one day.

"We've all seen how you _look_ at her. You deserve happiness too." Gladion steps closer, Ash nods as does Lillie as they both move closer. "There's no harm in the feelings you two carry. You have room in your heart for more than us, we've seen your heart grow." Ash reaches out, rests his hand against Kukui's arm with a small smile.

"Someone once told me, that missing someone and _missing someone_ are two very different things." Kukui rests his hand against Ash's hat and gives it a light tap.

"It's about want to protect someone else's happiness if not, then to guard your own heart." Ash nods, Lillie grabs Kukui's hand in both of hers.

"Professor, it's okay. You would never do anything to hurt us, and neither would she." Kukui looks over at them all, his eyes filled with wonder, he smiles with a small chuckle.

"You're all amazing." Gladion feels his cheeks heat up as Kukui extends his arms. They gather close and enjoy the feelings of closeness. This sense of belonging and feeling accepted.

This what family was. Keeping your heart open, accepting more and growing to love continuously. 

* * *

Kukui grumbles to himself as he finds that the coffee is all gone. He can swear he had a full container just yesterday, and the kids wouldn't touch it.

Ash dislikes coffee, Lillie likes some fancy coffee and Gladion drinks tea. He sighs to himself and decides to head to the market by himself. Ash is wrestling with Tapu Koko with Tapu Bulu slumped on his couch, Gladion and Rowlet asleep against the deity. Lillie is kneeling before Silvally, determination in her eyes as she stares.

He sees a member of Team Skull from the corner of his eye carrying a box and wonders what they bought in bulk, then decides he doesn't care. He just wants coffee. He makes his way to the aisle where there is coffee and stares at the empty shelves.

He begins a frantic hunt for coffee and finds a single jar. As he reaches for it he sees another hand, they both reach for the same brand of coffee.

It's Burnet.

She looks beautiful, even with her hair in slight disarray. Burnet flustered lets him have it, but he puts it into her basket. He smiles at her, sees her blush and just loves her so much!

Kukui thinks back to three earnest faces, he thinks about his heart and the all encompassing love he feels and reaches.

"Since you're getting the last coffee, why not come with me to get a cup?" Burnet looks conflicted, Kukui nearly falters, but the shelf rattles ominously and she jolts back and into his side with a yelp. His arms wrap around her as he pulls her back. Both of them warily watch the shelf and when it doesn't so much as wiggle, they relax.

Burnet pulls away from him, brushes back her hair, then nods. Kukui feels elated, the feeling follows him as they make their way to the register. He waits alongside Burnet and once she makes her purchase he leads her to a small coffee shop he remembers the kids talking about.

Kukui offers to pay, Burnet grins, challenge in her eyes as they both bend towards each other.

"Scissor!" "Paper!" Kukui and Burnet shout, Burnet pouts as she looks at her palm in betrayal. Kukui thinks she's adorable when she pouts.

"Don't get so cocky." Burnet says, nose in the air as they walk along the streets. Kukui doesn't say anything. He just watches her fondly.

"What?" Burnet smooths her hair once more. A little more self conscious, Kukui shakes his head.

"You're as beautiful as the day we said goodbye to one another." She paused, her cheeks flush a vibrant red, she abruptly looks away and he wonders if he said the wrong thing.

She punches him in the arm.

"Yeah, well. Fatherhood definitely suits you, makes you more handsome." She squeaks as if she hadn't meant to say that and he laughs.

"Well, if you think I'm handsome and i say you're beautiful..." Burnet faces him when he leans closer to her.

"Why not go out with me?" Burnet scans his face, she glances away. "Are you sure that's wise? Ash is afraid of people." Burnet says, she bites her lip as she fidgets with her straw.

Kukui grabs her hand and looks down at their hands. There are callouses on her palms, a knick on her middle finger that didn't used to be there.

"Ash is afraid. He might always be afraid, but he's getting better. He used to be afraid of me, yesterday he hugged me." Kukui looks at Burnet, he can see that she too had been studying his hand.

Kukui presses her hand to his chest, above his heart where it beats rapidly.

"I will always have room in my heart for you." Burnet looks at him. Really looks at him, she smiles. Her eyes shut as she smiles up at him.

"Our two hearts still call out to one another, right?" She says bringing his hand to her chest where he can feel it beating just as rapidly.

Kukui nearly regrets telling the kids he asked Burnet out. The smirk Gladion aims his way.

"Don't forget to keep passionate hand holding to a minimum around innocent eyes." He vaguely gestures on Ash's direction, Ash looks deeply offended as he feeds Nebby, and then he looks confused as Bayleef smacks Gladion with vine whip.

Gladion leans close, whispers to Kukui as he washes the dishes while Gladion dries.

"Be a responsible adult, don't forget protection." A vine whip snakes between them and smacks Gladion across his forehead. "Worth it!" He crows despite the wince that crosses his features while he dries a plate.

"Bayleef, stop hitting Gladion." Ash sounds exasperated as he sweeps. Lillie looks up from where she is wiping the table down. She squints suspiciously at her brother.

Kukui has a pen in his mouth as he holds up two different papers and hums to himself. Gladion collapses into the chair beside him with a waterbottle. He chugs the water, swipes a hand across his forehead and sighs. Kukui sees that he is wearing a galaxy themed hoodie, it's a size too big but he looks comfortable in it.

He casually drapes his arms over the table and rests his cheek against his arm. Kukui is beginning to dread that casual smirk. Gladion is a lot more mischievous than he thought.

"Remember, there are seven innings. No need to rush anything." Ash pauses, shoots Kukui a queer look.

"You're taking Burnet-hakase to a baseball game?" Bayleef reaches past Ash and smacks the top of Gladion's head. Gladion snickers as he buries his face in his arms.

"Be back by eleven, if you're not, I'm assuming that it will be the walk of shame that greets us." Bayleef makes a scandalized noise and lightly smacks Gladion with a vine whip.

"The walk of..." Ash looks curious while Lillie is red in the face and giggling furiously into Snowy. "Shame?" He smiles, confused but happy that everyone is having fun. Kukui should probably address that. Probably. 

Maybe.

Koko, he was not ready for that conversation yet.

Kukui starts lunch, _Radiant one,_ it was barely **noon.** He still had several hours of dealing with Gladion's jokes before he even left for his date.

Kukui has heard every joke under the sun. He's brushing his hair when Ash and Lillie pop into the bathroom and overtake him. They take over brushing his hair, frowns of concentration.

It's cute. What's not cute is Gladion leaning against the doorway with that smirk. Kukui prays for patience.

"You know what they say about shaving above the knee." Ash looks away and in seconds, Lillie's hair is braided to Kukui's. She squeals.

"Sorry!" Ash squeaks as he hurriedly undoes the braid. This time it is not Bayleef that smacks him with vine whip, but Scraggy who climbs up Gladion's shoulder and headbutts him. Gladion is holding his nose and laughing. Lillie puffs out her cheeks.

"Mm! Brother!" She shoves him out of the bathroom and Ash finishes the braid and ties it off.

"There!" Kukui feels the braid, not too tight or too loose. It's actually very nicely done. He hadn't even noticed his hair was this long, maybe he should get a hair cut soon. If it was reaching his lower back, that would definitely be hazardous if it wasn't tied up.

"Thanks Ash." Ash smiles bashful and shuffles in place before nodding and fleeing the bathroom.

Kukui grins as he listens to the sounds of running feet and Lillie and Bayleef tag teaming Gladion who laughs without remorse. 

Kukui dresses casually, an open button up shirt and jeans. His hat is left behind for once.

Burnet is wearing a short sleeved blouse and capris with a small handbag over her shoulder. Her Munchlax is beside her, it seems upset as it plops down onto the steps. Burnet bends down a presses a kiss to Munchlax's forehead.

Gladion pokes him. 

"Have fun, but not _too_ much fun." He raises his hand and accepts the vine whip to the back of his palm.

"It's only for a few hours. I'll be back before you know it." Munchlax nods as she steps back and waits.

"Munch." It says as Kukui passes by, Ash is beside Munchlax is seconds, crouching down and quietly talking.

Munchlax is standing, holding Ash's hand as the kids all wave, well Gladion waves and mouths _'toodles'_ with a smirk and mischief in his eyes. The imp.

Burnet looks at him in a questioning manner, he mutters later under his breath as he hears the faint sound of the ever growing exasperation of Ash and the well worn sound of vines smacking skin.

Kukui feels guilty that he cut their date short, but he's been getting better about late hours and he worries. Lillie and Ash are doing so much better now, Gladion has come out of his shell and his kids are still struggling with hidden, half healed wounds. He can't help it if he worries, though he tries his best not to show it. It may not have been his place in the beginning but it is now, and for that reason, he still can not show how much he worries. He wants to see their confidence grow.

He wants them to see that he has full faith in their growth.

Burnet is holding his hand still, it almost feels as if the time apart never happened. He's happy that she said yes. He wonders how she will get along with the kids, who argued earlier that she was a good person.

Kukui glances up as faint sparkles catch his attention. He feels exasperation as he sees Tapu Lele floating in the same direction, Burnet looks up with wonder in her eyes. She glances down at him, the laughs.

"Ash really is God blessed then?" Kukui recalls the fear from the other night, he squeezes Burnet's hand as he stops walking.

"He is, but i want you to promise me something." Kukui looks at their hands, Burnet is looking at him with a serious expression.

"Don't ever call him that. Don't ask him about Kalos. Something happened to him, and i don't know what it is..." Kukui remembers the kicks, the wild struggling and sobs that pierced his chest. The pleading. "But Ash is doing better and i won't drag him back into something he is not ready to face." Burnet cradles his hand between both of hers and looks sad.

"I want to help you protect them." Kukui looks into her hazel eyes and remembers her compassion is what made him fall in love with her in the first place. Her compassion is what lead to them meeting in the first place. Him, a lost foreign exchange student and her, a student who was late to class and still stopped to help him.

She gently tugs him forward, and they resume the walk home while talking about the little things they've found interesting or funny during their internships.

"Something smells delicious." Kukui says as they draw closer to the house. They hear laughter, and music, funky music. It's catchy and highly suggestive, this has Gladion written all over it.

_"We're up all night to get lucky. We're up all night to get lucky."_

He knows Ash and Lillie would never listen to music like this, but Gladion and his unknown caretakers? Kukui is getting war flashbacks to the 70's music in college.

"Gladion, why?" Kukui face palms, his ears burns as Burnet laughs so hard she has to use him to keep herself on her feet. She is wiping tears from her eyes, snickering as they climb the stairs and open the door to see Gladion cooking in the kitchen with Lillie and Ash.

The kids are laughing, singly badly off key, watching Gladion with looks of awe and adoration as he effortlessly shuts off the stove and sets three plates on the stove. Gladion made Loco Moco.

"Munch!" Munchlax cries out in joy as he abandons his bowl of food, the kids all jump at the sight of them. Gladion looks down at their hands, a leer forming on his face and Kukui nearly regrets coming home early.

"You're home early." He says, just as the song ends and another starts.

_"The club isn't the best place to find a lover, so the bar is where i go."_

Kukui narrows his eyes, warning Gladion who looks unrepentant as he uses a foot to pull out a chair, extending his hand as he gestures to the table. Ash and Lillie sit down and Gladion makes to cook more when Burnet makes her way to the kitchen.

"Let me, you worked hard to make food, it'd be sin to eat it cold." Burnet takes over cooking, Kukui helps her. And it's as if they were never apart. So in synch as Burnet bumped her hip into his as she hummed along to the song.

 _"We're going out on our first date.(mmmm) You and me are thrifty, so go all you can eat."_

Kukui feels as if his heart is filled to burst. The kids are laughing in the background, Ash abandoned his food midway and is swinging around with Tapu Lele in wide circles in some sort of clumsy dance. The song ends just as Kukui and Burnet sit down to eat.

_"Can you feel the love tonight? The peace the evening brings."_

Kukui eyes Gladion who is facing the other way, elbow on the table, palm across his mouth as he giggles. Lillie has her fists pressed to her cheeks as she too giggles. Ash is still dancing in circles, this time with Munchlax, giving Munchlax a twirl.

_"The world, for once, in perfect harmony, with all its living things. Can you feel the love tonight? The peace the evening brings."_

Kukui sees the soft look in Burnet's eyes, and he can see himself growing old with her. He _loves,_ he loves her, and he loves his kids. They make him feel complete. Like he had been missing out until now.

Lillie smiles, happy as can be. Gladion looks at Burnet, impressed by her cooking skills, a sly look aimed his way. And Ash, has abandoned dancing to make his way to the table, he definitely likes her if he is okay with the five feet rule being tossed out.

_"To really love a woman, to understand her. You gotta know her deep inside. Hear every thought, see every dream and give her wings when she wants to fly."_

Ash is sitting at the table, Lillie switching seats so he could sit at the end. He looks bemused by the song, Pikachu is cracking up so hard he rolls off the coffee table in the livingroom. 

_"And when you find yourself lying helpess in her arms, you know you really love a woman."_

Gladion is straight faced as he collects the dishes and brings out some pie. Ash declines a slice but one is set aside for him anyway. Its chocolate Haupia pie.

They enjoy the dessert, Ash grinning as he watches them enjoy the dessert. He has Scraggy on his lap as he offers him pieces of pie, while Nebby is asleep in Tapu Lele's arms.

Kukui is escorting Burnet to the door the kids are cleaning up behind them when Burnet tugs on his arm and stands on the tips of her toes. Her lips rest against his cheek, he can feel her giggle. She pulls away with a wink and waves her fingers.

"Its was a great date, thanks for the meal kids. _Toodles."_ Kukui is frozen as the door closes. He mechanically turns around and sees all three kids frozen and blushing. Lillie has her hands raised to her face, Gladion is in the process of putting pie in the fridge and was actually in danger of dropping it, and Ash has his arm raised over his face the other shielding Scraggy's eyes.

There is a moment of silence before the kids are shrieking. 

Lillie squealing about how cute that was. Gladion turning away as he slams the fridge shut but Kukui can see how red his ears are, even as he's complaining about keeping it PG. And Ash just stares, checked out completely as his skin reddens.

"Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! Pikachu!!!!!!!!!!!" He shrieks as he hides behind Scraggy who pats his head consolingly. Pikachu is rolling, laughing, Bayleef looks jealous and Kukui suddenly figures that Ash, the oblivious and loveable idiot, had his first kiss and never even knew what it meant.

Gladion is laughing himself sick over the sink as he tries to wash dishes. Lillie giggles at Ash but makes her way to the loft and mutters about updating her board.

"Lillie, no." Gladion is still snickering as he tells her this, Lillie from up in the loft tells him, that he can't stop her now.

"Well... this certainly is one way to end a date." Kukui wonders when they will have another. And then he wonders if he will survive until the next date as Gladion finally calms down and his playlist starts all over with the same song they heard upon entering and he smirks at Kukui.

"Koko... grant me strength in these trying times."


	15. Do They Know The Pain You Hide?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: Safety- Fireflight ft Stephen Christian

Lillie shares the board she created as part of the intervention, and was never used, to Lana and Mallow with the help of Rotom. The two looked away from her, to Professor Kukui who was staring outside with a wistful smile while he waited for the bell to ring.

"I can't believe it." Mallow whispers, Ash frowns at them, sees Rotom and has an ah-ha moment. He looks at Lillie and gives her a thumbs up before pointedly minding his business. Lillie smiles, Ash doesn't mind her planning a wedding, says that he can help her with anything if she needs help. Gladion, despite telling her it might scare Professor Kukui if he has commitment issues, says he can ask Anakala for help when they need it.

The bell rings signaling class has started but it seems that the Professor didn't notice. Mew taps him, he jolts back and coughs.

"Right. So... let's begin today's lesson." He says even as Lillie giggles.

Ash and Lillie are old hands at helping in the pokemon center now. Gladion too. So when Nurse Joy is sick, and their classmates help out, they take charge. Gladion wearing a familiar pin, while she and Ash get dresses in Nurse Joy's uniform. Kiawe and Sophocles blanch and pointedly begin to search for other uniforms, Ash looks down at the dress he wears.

"What's wrong with the dress?" He looks back at Lillie woth a frown. Nurse Joy had directed them tk the lockers and had them dress in uniform when they proved that they would keep coming to the pokemon center. Mallow and Lana smirk, then look to Rotom wearing a blond wig. Ash seems to understand their smirks and bolts out the locker room.

"Pikachu!!!!!!" He yells, voice fading the further he recedes. Mallow and Lana give chase with a wig and brush in hand.

Ash comes back with a wig, and a bright rosy cheeks. 

"How do i always get into this type of mess." He mumbles to himself. Gladion takes one look at him, blanks out and walks off. She can hear him laughing hysterically as he turns the corner. Ash stomps his foot, tears off the wig and then turns around to see Kiawe and Sophocles in a different uniform. He turns and shoots Nurse Joy a betrayed look.

"I recently ordered male uniforms. Sorry Ash." He huffs, and makes his way to the locker room. He returns wearing the male uniform and stares at his shirt.

"I feel kinda weird now." Lillie feels weird too. Brother stares and then smirks, Ash simply points at him, he raises his arms and keeps his mouth shut.

Ash and Gladion are helping a Team Skull member, one that she and Ash usually see around the school. Ash is lecturing the poor guy, but he softens and actually pats him on the shoulder before seeing to his pokemon. Gladion had a clipboard in his hands as he asks questions.

As the rush dies down, Lillie spots Professor Kukui and Professor Burnet walking outside, hand in hand. 

"Look! Its the Professors!" Ash and Gladion pop up beside her and smile, well, brother smirks. Mallow and Lana stare. Kiawe flushes a bright red and sputters incoherently. Sophocles actually drops his clipboard. 

"He's actually dating!" The four shriek, Ash shouts something inarticulate and vanishes just as Lillie turns around.

There's a shriek outside, and brother has fallen to the floor laughing. Lillie shoves her fists over her face as she stifles her laughter. Ash had fallen out of the sky into Professor Kukui's arms, and he had a bunch of flowers in his hands. He flushes a bright red, tosses the flowers at the two Professors and runs into the pokemon center. 

"I can never look them in the eyes again." He says, he is full of embarrassment as he ducks under the front desk. Lillie can't stop snickering.

The two Professors go on two more dates, Gladion ramps up his jokes and adds more and more music to his playlist. Ash seems to get more and more confused with the jokes and true to his word has yet to meet either Professors eyes.

Before the fourth date, Lillie and Professor Burnet sit down at a small cafe and talk. They get to know one another and establish a few guidelines and boundaries. Burnet said that Lillie could come to her for anything, no questions asked. 

She invites Lillie to get their nails painted if she wants, Lillie shyly accepts.

"Okay." Professor Burnet smiles at her and winks.

"Us girls need to have some quality girl time too." Lillie feels relief, and realizes that this is not her own. Professor Burnet reaches out and squeezes her hand. Lillie nods.

She wonders how Brother and Ash are doing as they had stayed at home with Professor Kukui as Plumie and Anakala suggested. 

"Ash and Gladion would like to take you out later too." Professor Burnet flushes weakly, she no doubt remembers the flowers.

"I look forward to it." She coughs. Lillie relaxes, she can do this. They can all do this. 

They were going to be alright. 

* * *

Gladion sees Ash looking down at his hands as they wait for their food. Burnet is watching her finger as she draws shapes against the condensation of her glass of cold water. He snorts. Then laughs when the two look up at him, glance at each other and then flush and look away.

"You two are funny." Ash squints at him with a pout, Scraggy leers at him from where he is sitting on Ash's shoulder. Pikachu looks exasperated. 

"Okay. I'll start." Gladion channels Anakala as he rests his elbow on the table and steeples his fingers, resting his chin on his fingers.

"What are your intentions?" Burnet pauses, looks incredulous and then laughs.

"You're giving me the shovel talk?" Ash pokes him under the table, Gladion nods to him and Ash stares at Burnet too.

"Kukui-hakase likes you. A lot. And even though i don't get half the things Gladion says, i know he's really protective of Kukui-hakase too. I know you won't hurt any of us. But Anakala said that we need to get to know each other." Ash glances down at his lap where Nebby is watching them all.

"You work for _Her_ , but you aren't the same. This list is what i am not okay with, is there anything... you don't feel comfortable with?" Ash says as he slides a copy of the list Kukui has in the kitchen at all times. Burnet scans the list, she frowns softly, Ash's flicker to him then back to her. Ah, she's feeling a lot. He shifts his foot to tap Ash's. The heel of Ash's shoe lightly knocks back against his ankle and he breathes.

The second it became too much, or he felt uncomfortable, Nebby was supposed to teleport him home.

"I'm okay with most everything. I should let you know now, i tend to get absorbed in my work so don't think I'm ignoring you. Sometimes it takes a few minutes to catch my attention." She smiles, passing the list over, not assuming that she should hand it to Ash and instead leaves it between them both.

Kukui and Burnet leave for their next date while the three of them walk around. Kukui seems exasperated by the number of jokes that Gladion has. He was not going to tell him that he asked for all the jokes from every member of Team Skull. 

Anakala gave the best jokes, and it embarrassed both Kukui and Burnet the first time he mentioned one.

He was having fun with this. It was...

Almost a relief to tease someone like this. And even when he kept on teasing, Kukui simply rolled his eyes. And then he actually began to use a punishment that Plumie used to use on him. He pinched Gladion's nose.

Rude.

Ash and Lillie laughed at him.

He snickers himself when he realizes that this is family. Laughing and teasing one another.

Burnet came over one night for a date and Gladion nearly panicked. Were they going to do _things?!_

They watched a movie, and despite his dread, he had fun. They were going to watch a movie about a robot that lived on a destroyed earth but Kukui vetoed the idea Burnet had and instead they watched a movie about a baby seaking that was taken by humans, his father searching the oceans for a way to get back to him with the help of a forgetful luvdisc. 

It was a fun movie. Full of adventure, suspense, drama and comedy. The Sharpedo evolution line was the funniest by far. 'Fish are friends not food.'

Lillie's favorite part was the Tirtouga and tentacool scene. Ash liked the whole movie in general. Burnet was curled around Kukui, his arm around her shoulder as they laughed at some scenes.

Despite all his joking, he felt uncomfortable with the thought of them doing anything. He wonders if he should speak up about this.

Turns out he didn't need to. Burnet was leaving after the movie. 

She gave Kukui as kiss, a brief one on the lips. Gladion pulled his hood up and dragged it over his face as his face burned.

Ash squeaked and buried his face in and pillow and Lillie slapped her hands over her eyes. They could hear Kukui and Burnet laugh. Gladion vowed to make Kukui suffer tomorrow for subjecting them to the PDA.

It was gross.

And despite what Plumie said, he did grow past the whole cooties phase. Anyone outside Team Skull, his family and Hobbes had cooties.

Kukui teased the three of them relentlessly as they cleaned the livingroom up. Gladion, glanced over at Scraggy, nodded and tossed the small reptile at Kukui. Kukui yelped and was smacked in the chin by a headbutt. 

"Is this what Brock calls karma?" Ash asks the ceiling, Mew is giggling and eating some popcorn. Gladion and Lillie snort as Ash continues to stare up at Mew.

"Alright, time for bed." The three of them bid the Professor goodnight and head to bed aside from Ash who sits on the couch with a contemplative frown as Nebby sleeps in his arms.

"Everything okay?" He calls out as he climbs back down. Ash looks up at him, then pulls out a folded envelope from his pocket, the one that had Ash staring off into the distance a few weeks ago.

"I still haven't read it." He holds the letter gently despite it's slightly rumpled appearance. Pikachu stares at the letter with a look of anger, but he says nothing to Ash about carrying it.

"Did you want to read it?" He asks deliberately sitting across from Ash on the floor. Ash shrugs, then slowly passes him the letter. Gladion accepts it, and watches Ash nervously rub the top of Nebby's head.

There is a second where he looks betrayed before he closes his eyes and leans back into the couch.

"If someone hurt you... and never apologized for it..." Ash begins, fingers dancing across his z ring. "Would it still be okay if you know they hadn't meant to hurt you in the first place?" Pikachu puts his paws on Ash's hands and shakes his head, Gladion agrees with Pikachu but he knows that Ash is a forgiving person.

So kind and always willing to lend a hand to anyone or pokemon in need. 

"Forgiving someone is a hard thing to do for some people." Gladion thinks about the grudge that Anakala and Plumie carry like heavy chains that drag as they move through life, slowly, as they are held back. "And other people find it easy to forgive those who have wronged them. But that doesn't mean it's right or simple." Gladion unfolds the letter and straightens it as much as he can.

"You have a big heart Ash. And you're so very kind, giving yourself away with reckless abandon. But Ash..." Gladion looks up at Ash. "Forgiving someone who has hurt you deeply enough that you still have those wounds now, even though they haven't apologized, isn't forgiveness. You're taking the blame for everything onto yourself, when you did nothing wrong." Gladion can see the hurt in Ash's eyes and feels horrible. He can see it now. It wasn't just something that had happened to him in Kalos, but _someone._

"Your kindful nature, your refusal to carry grudges and keep the peace is what is really hurting you right now. You can be _angry_ at them. You can feel _hurt_ that they hurt you. You can choose to _not_ forgive them until you feel they've done something to earn your forgiveness." Gladion can see Pikachu nodding. Ash leans forward, head in his hands and sniffs. 

" _He was my friend and i **trusted** him. He didn't help me when i **needed** it, but he did help to **save** everyone else... i don't know what to do_." Ash whispered, Gladion reached forward, laying his hand on Ash's knee. A hand reached past him, Lillie curled her hand around Ash's arm, Kukui sat down beside Ash and wrapped his arm around his shoulders, tugging gently until Ash half turned and leaned against him. Shoulders shaking as he choked, tears slipping past his fingers.

"We'll be right here when you're ready to read that letter." Kukui rested his chin atop Ash's head and looked at them with sorrow.

They sat with Ash as he shook with near silent sobs. Waiting.

Watching.

Letting him know they were here, they were here and he was not alone.

This what family meant. 

Silent support.

And a shoulder to cry on.

* * *

Ash is starting to feel like himself again.

He doesn't immediately tense at the sight of the store clerks anymore. Though they keep their distance from him now, too many times of having his pokemon swarm him probably did that. 

And he has a ton of friends now, Kiawe and him have mock battles almost every day at school. Ash doesn't mind being left behind during some events, he doesn't like crowds. Ash can hang out with Hau or Gladion, sometimes even both of them when there is an event like the rock concert held a few days ago.

All of them were a huge help when Nebby and Scraggy ended up separated from him when Nebby sneezed and vanished with Scraggy. They helped him search for several hours, despite having things to do. It made him realize how lonely he had been the past few months. He hadn't realized it despite wanting to make friends.

Even Jessie and James were more friendlier here in Alola, their job taking a backseat compared to the business. Apparently they were doing so well, their boss had given them a pass, not that they wouldn't try to steal pokemon. But Ash was happy for them. They were happy.

He almost wants them to quit team rocket, but he knows they won't. Not when Meowth has been hurt by humans time and again. Not when James had to run from region to region to avoid his fiancee and family hunting him down. Not when Jessie, abandoned by everyone and had every door slammed shut in her face, couldn't find acceptance anywhere else.

Ash would settle with them having this peace until they were told to relocate to another region. 

Then Ash meets Ilimia, on a sunny day when it feels as if nothing interesting would happen.

They were with their pokemon out on the field, Ash was actually in charge of today's lecture as he talked about the pokemon of various regions with Rotom providing pictures.

The older teen had come to see Kukui-hakase. And he had recognized Ash on sight.

Ash didn't _know_ him.

He was actually surprised by him. Even more surprised when he said that they were in the same league as competitors. 

"Which league?" That seemed to take everyone by surprise, Ash has no idea why. He'd already told them before that he'd been across various regions as a battle trainer. Pika!Mew poked him and shocked him as Ilimia responded. Ash couldn't hear over the sound of electricity in his ears.

Ash wrestles Mew off his shoulder and into his arms, Pikachu scampers up to his shoulder, crouching over until he looked ready to pounce. Ash paused, Pikachu was glaring. Ash followed his gaze, what had Ilimia done to warrant Pikachu's anger? Kukui-hakase waved his hand catching Ash's attention. 

"Sorry Ash, i need to borrow Ilimia for a second." He brushed past him and bustled off with Ilimia. Lillie was watching with a frown, a pencil in her hand was being squeezed tightly.

"Lillie?" She looked at him with concern, glanced down at Pika!Mew and then Pikachu. 

"I don't think it matters what league it was. Not if they don't want you to hear it." Ash knows she is trying to tell him something. But he doesn't understand. 

"My apologies Ash. I didn't make it very far, i doubt you ever met me. But i watched you in the finals." Finals... Ash only ever made it to the finals twice. Once in the orange league... and the other in...

~~K̵̖̱̣̜͒̄̈́́͝a̴̧̘̱̺͖̲̤͉̼̠̯͎̿̈́̅̚l̶͇̞̹̩̰̓̂̏͗̌͆̏̀o̷͚̗̹͇̿ş̷̱̗͇̒̽̔̃͌̏̊̽̀͌͝...~~

Ash looks down at Pikachu, watching Ilimia as if any second he would slam into him with iron tail. Ash was okay with not knowing which league it was.

He didn't want to know.

He wasn't ready to hear that name yet. He wasn't ready to acknowledge the name yet. He's come far, but he knows he isn't ready for that region's name.

Ash smiles, pretends he knows what Ilimia is talking about when he doesn't further elaborate. 

Ilimia sits in on their lesson and Ash pretends that he does not have a sinking feeling as he thinks about the leagues.

Pikachu very pointedly remains on his shoulder watching the older teen.

Then he meets Eevee and finally meets someone that understands his feelings for not evolving his pokemon. For wanting to get stronger with them in whatever form they wish.

Pikachu, his partner, choosing to never evolve. And he stands by it.

"Why? Because Pikachu is happy this way and i wouldn't change him for the world." Ash leans into the cheek nuzzle.

There is a moment where Ash is aware of everyone staring at him and Pikachu but he's more than used to people not understanding. Heck, Meowth better than anyone understood he and Pikachu. But then, Meowth had his own reasons, and Ash respected that.

He didn't need to have people understanding his and Pikachu's motives, as long as they were united, they would continue to face every challenge head on.

It was more fun to take on challenges where he was at a disadvantage and come out on top anyway. 

"With Pikachu by my side, I'll definitely be a pokemon master." Pikachu grins happily as he holds up the victory sign.

Ash laughs at the dumbfounded looks sent his way.

He feels normal.

* * *

Guzma doesn't know if he should be offended or not. On one hand, the brat had taken over a tribe of Passimian which was basically his own gang now. On the other hand, Guzma wasn't the type to take over some other gang. Of course, the brat also counted as a pokemon so was it really taking over?

"He's know you for about a month. And now he has taken on the title king of the passimians." Plumeria says, his crew is still screaming about it downstairs. 

"I didn't teach him nothing! That's all him!" Of course, Guzma also felt a bit proud. Ash was definitely something else.

He admits it's kind of cute seeing the passimians following Ash around as he spends time doing mundane things with no worry of people approaching him.

"Brat's not that bad." Plumeria grins at him, he huffs at her.

"Someone's growing soft." She teases. He flicks her off, then dumps the last of the trash in his room into the bin and looks at the cleaned room. The curtains had been replaced, his bed made, and his books organized neatly on a shelf.

"I'm going to talk with Nanu, you can tell Oranguru that I'll skip this month's trip." Plumeria quirks a brow, her expression softens and a small smile curls at the edge of her lips.

"Maybe these new brats aren't that bad. I can see you changing for the better." She turns on her heel and exists the room as he pulls out his phone.

"Yeah, Nanu... it's me..." there is silence on the other side. "Can we talk about... what you told me a few years ago? I think I'm ready to listen now." He can hear the smile as the older man tells him to meet him at his home. 


	16. You Are Not Alone When You Hurt This Way, Stand Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **End of arc 1 ******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: stand up - fireflight

Kukui worriedly left them for a conference that happens twice a year for three days. They waved him off, agreeing to have Burnet check on them once a day. School was cancelled for friday and since it was the weekend, they had opted to watch a movie. 

Burnet had been given keys to the house, despite the door never being locked.

So imagine their surprise when there was a knock at the door.

Ash and Lillie stiffened, Gladion was instantly wary as he had them move behind him. The door is blown open and Lillie shrieks, Ash gathers her in his arms with a fierce scowl. 

"Lycanroc! Umbreon! Silvally!" Gladion calls out to his pokemon, Faba walks into the house with a hypno and Alakazam.

"Hello children. I've come to take back type Null, by orders of your mother. And..." He smiles looking away from Silvally to Lillie, Ash and Nebby. Gladion feels dread even as he stretches his arm out.

"I refuse, Silvally saved Lillie and you punished him!" Faba tsks at him and mentions how Gladion stole Silvally and ranaway from home.

"Lycanroc use stone edge! Umbreon, shadow ball, Silvally protect Ash and Lillie!" His pokemon move to attack and defend. Faba smirks.

"Hypno use reflect! Alakazam use miracle eye!" Gladion tenses as the attacks are easily taken, and Faba returns with more force. He has them attack again, paying no mind to the attacks wrecking the house. The safety of his siblings was far more important, Kukui would understand. 

"Hypno use hypnosis, Alakazam use psychic." The combination proves fatal as his pokemon fall unconscious and Gladion panics. He calls out to Silvally and grabs Ash and Lillie's hands and runs. Ash calls out to his pokemon who rush forward to defend them. Faba calls out a Raichu and Slowbro without hesitation and orders all four of his pokemon to attack.

Ash worriedly calls back to his pokemon as they run down the hall to the back of the house. He can hear destruction behind them, but prioritized getting Ash and Lillie out of the house. A shiinotic steps out of the guestroom at the end of the hall, it stands between them and the back door, Gladion skids to a stop. Pikachu flies forward and uses iron tail but reflect blocks the attack. An orange dust bursts out of shiinotic and then Ash shouts.

"Stun spore, get back!" He doesn't call out quickly enough as they barely make it a few steps before it becomes difficult to move.

Gladion hits the floor, Ash still wrapped around Lillie and Nebby, hits the ground and Gladion can see his eyes shrunken to pin pricks as he stares at him, horror written plainly across his face. Tears well in his eyes as he pleads for help. Pikachu calls out to Ash, forcing himself to move and uses quick attack. He misses and flies down the hall, falling downstairs with several loud thumps as he hits the stairs. 

Ash shuts his eyes, sweat across his forehead and then Faba is walking forward.

"It's time to take a nap now children. Sweet dreams." Stun spore had them at his mercy. Something about this situation was frightening Ash almost as much as hearing _Chosen One_ had. Gladion growled as he tried to move. It was as if he was being betrayed by his own body, tears of frustration welled in his eyes as he managed to stretch out his hand. He was able to lay a hand on Ash's elbow when Hypno stepped forward and used hypnosis. 

His vision began to blur, sound echoing, Ash choked on a sob, his vision grayed and then the last thing he saw was Faba reaching toward him, grabbing Silvally's pokeball and then Alakazam grabbing Ash and Lillie.

* * *

Burnet made her way to Kukui's house with some berries and a few movies she wanted to watch with the kids. She wonders when she and Lillie should get another manicure, then giggles when she thinks about asking the boys if they wanted to come too. Would they freak out? Or would they come along.

She looks to the door, it's gone. She frowns and runs the last few steps and up the stairs and drops her bag as she eyes the destruction. The pokemon strewn about. 

"Kids!" She calls out as she runs in, having to watch her steps as she see the torn floor boards. She finds Gladion lying unconscious on his back, hand outstretched as if reaching for something. She can hear him wheezing, a flush across his cheeks and worriedly checks his pulse. She light slaps his cheek and calls his name but he doesn't respond. She leaves him be for the moment, running around and calling out to Ash and Lillie.

She runs downstairs and finds Pikachu curled up around Nebby. The baby pokemon worriedly prods the electric mouse. 

Burnet grabs Pikachu and brings him and Nebby upstairs, calls out to Munchlax to bring the berries in and sets Pikachu on top of Gladion before lifting him into her arms and makes her way to the guest room. She kicks the door open and sets him down on the bed, runs to the bathroom and grabs a hand towel, wets it, searches for the first aid kit and takes it to the guest room. 

She wipes Gladion's face, setting the rag on his forehead. She digs her cellphone out of her pocket and calls Kukui, he was coming home early today, it was supposed to be a surprise. 

Gladion doesn't so much as twitch when she puts smelling salts under his nose. She holds the phone between her shoulder and cheek and sets about searching through the berries munchlax brought her. She kept a two oran berry and a few cheri berries before having Munchlax give the other pokemon berries. 

Burnet runs to the kitchen as the phone continues to ring.

"What's wrong?" Kukui asks as he answers the phone, Burnet shoves the berries into the blender.

"I don't know. Ash and Lillie are gone. Gladion was unconscious and burning up with a high fever. It looks like stun spore sickness. It's a mess Kukui, you need to get here now-" Burnet jumps as Nebby appears at her side and suddenly Kukui appears as she shuts off the blender. She lifts her head, the phone clatters to the phone and Kukui looks around at the destruction with fear in his eyes.

"I'll take care of the pokemon, you help Gladion." He rushes over to the pokemon after he digs through the cabinet for full restore and max potions.

Burnet is running back to the room, heart in her chest as she tries to figure out what happened, and who attacked the kids. They were children for Kyurem's sake! Hadn't they suffered enough?

Burnet sits Gladion and opens his mouth, tilts his head back and slowly dribbles the smoothied cheri and oran berries down his throat with a straw. He coughs a couple times, spilling some of the smoothie. She rubs her knuckles into his chest and waits, the wheezing is slowly fading and the red tint is receding.

He begins to stir, eyes scrunching as he moans a little. Then he awakes all at once, eyes shooting open as he shoves her away with violent force and scoots away until he falls off the edge of the bed.

"Gladion!" She calls out despite having hit the floor she is up on her feet and running over to the other side of the bed where he is curled onto his side, arms wrapped around his head and stomach. 

"Gladion its me, it's Burnet, you're safe now." She calls out in concern, keeping out of reach. She can hear Kukui running down the hall.

"Gladion!" He calls out, Gladion slowly unfolds and sits up, he tips over nearly hitting his head on the drawer, but Burnet steadied him. Kukui reached over and hugged Gladion close, murmuring to him he was safe.

Her heart breaks as she hears him crying.

"I was too weak! I couldn't protect them." Kukui held him close, hand cradling Gladion's head as he shushed him.

Gladion told them what happened, Faba attacking them. His target being Silvally and Ash or Lillie along with Nebby, anger in his voice, and regret when he told them about Ash's reaction.

* * *

"He was terrified." Gladion's voice broke, and Kukui could feel as if his heart was breaking. His kids had been hurt. They'd been hurt in his home while he was away.

"I'm sorry Gladion." Kukui whispers, feeling anger in his belly at the thought of Faba and Lusamine. Pikachu walked into the room, all of the pokemon followed behind him, they were furious. 

"We're going to Aether to get Ash and Lillie back, i promise." Kukui rises to his feet, pulls Gladion up and turns to Burnet to ask her to take care of Gladion when Gladion grabs hold of his arm.

"I'm going. I promised." Kukui's heart wavers between leaving Gladion and taking him, but looking into Gladion's green eyes, he can see pain. Kukui wraps his arms around him in a loose hug and sighs.

"Is everyone ready?" He asks, the pokemon nod, Burnet reaches towards him, looking determined. 

"We're ready." She says, Nebby teleports them, straight to Lusamine, and suddenly they are in a room that is dark, dimly lit and fully metallic. Lusamine looks around, confused and then spots Gladion's tear streaked face.

"Gladion, what happened?" She looks concerned as she moves forward to get a good look at him. Gladion stands his ground but glares up at her.

"Where is Silvally? And Ash and Lillie!" Lusamine freezes, a look of fear crosses her face.

"What happened to Lillie. What do you mean where is she?" Her voice shakes, she takes and step forward, then another and another, she reaches out to grab Gladion's hand but Kukui stops her by catching her hand.

"Faba said he was under orders to retrieve them. He took Silvally, type null and Lillie and Ash!" Lusamine stops trying to pull her hand away and looks confused. 

"Faba? Null? I didn't order anything." She frowns, stares hard at them then looks shocked.

"Wait. Null is Faba's failed project, he shut it down when we lost one of the subjects." Gladion moves away from Kukui.

"It didn't fail! Silvally saved us! He saved from that thing that hurt Lillie!" Lusamine freezes. Her gaze hardens, she straightens as she looks around.

"He lied to me then. Follow me." Kukui lets her go and they followe her, she leads them to a door that opens when she swipes a card at the scanner.

Gladion brushes past them all as he begins to search through the drawers. Kukui, Burnet and Lusamine help him.

"He lied about Null, he lied about the ultra beasts. What else could he have lied about?" Lusamine asks, Kukui freezes as Gladion slams a drawer shut. He doesn't face them, palms pressed to the top if the drawer as he bows his head.

"He lied and you didn't see it, because you didn't want to see it." Gladion doesn't look at any of them as his shoulders reach his ears. "You wanted to see an ultra beast so badly, you abandoned us. Abandoned Lillie after that thing tried to take her and made her sick and afraid." He sounded furious, yanking the drawer out, he hand Silvally's pokeball in his hand as he turned around. Tears welling in his eyes.

"I'm going to protect Lillie and Ash from you." Lusamine has a look on her face that is hard to describe but if he had to name it.

It would be heartbreak.

Her hands are clenched above her heart, she says nothing as Gladion storms past them. Its silents as the pokemon sniff around.

"Snowy blizzard! Mew psychic!" That's Lillie. Kukui runs, feet eating up the distance as he practically flies down the hall. He rounds the corner just in time to catch Lillie as she is thrown back by psychic. She's badly beaten, dried blood around her nose, eyes squinted shut in pain as she glances at him.

"Professor, you have to help Ash!" She shouts, struggling to her feet. Kukui glances around and finds Ash floating in the air, and Alakazam directly beneath him using psychic. Ash stares blankly at nothing, tears running down his cheeks as he wheezes. 

Ash's pokemon see him and then chaos.

They all attack. Bayleef and Rowlet using razor leaf against a shiinotic. Lycanroc and Torracat using rock throw and fire fang against an Alolan raichu. Mew takes down Hypno with extreme prejudice. Pikachu heads for Slowbro while Scraggy slams Focus punch at Alakazam, it wavers and Ash drops slightly. 

"Silvally!" Silvally slams into Alakazam and then Ash is falling as Kukui throws himself into the fray of pokemon attacks.

* * *

Lillie wakes up, she can breathe again. Ash is still wrapped around her, he pulls her closer even as his breathing speeds up.

"Good, you're awake." He reaches between them and grabs Nebby, leaving Snowy, only Nebby turns out to be Mew. Ash is on his feet, he has her hand in his as he runs. Lillie can't help but feel deja vu as she holds Snowy closer.

Suddenly their feet leave the floor and they both hit opposite sides of the hall. Ash stares at her, terrified as he struggles to move. Tears cling to his lashes as he practically gasps for air.

"Now that wasn't nice." Lillie is helpless as they are floated down the hall, back to where they had woken up in. There she finds Mew in an electric cage. Mew violently slams into it.

"No don't! Please don't!" Ash shouts, his eyes wild with fright as he struggles against the psychic hold.

"Now hold still." He says and Hypno is suddenly being frozen, Lillie drops to the floor, Snowy continues to use blizzard.

"You damn brat!" Lillie see Ash. Feels the terror he feels and the helplessness and knows that this is bringing back memories he doesn't want. She remembers a warm sunny afternoon, a day when a shaking hand reached out to her and whispered that she was brave.

"Lillie! No! Stop it! I said stop!" Ash screams.

She runs forward and tackles Alakazam, she breaks out in goosebumps and can feel herself becoming stiff but pushes back the fear.

She is brave.

She is brave and she promised to protect Ash. 

Ash who has done so much for her and brother.

She is brave and she will not be beaten by memories.

She is slammed onto the floor, Snowy lands beside her. She pushes herself up and glares.

"Don't! Don't hurt her!"

"Snowy, powder snow on the floor!" She orders, rising to her feet and running, she steps on the frozen floor and slides past Hypno and slams into Alakazam, fear once more rising but she beats it back again and this time, she is able to push Alakazam as Snowy uses blizzard.

Her body is suddenly on fire, she shrieks, hits the ground and convulses as Raichu hits her with thunder. 

"LILLIE!!!!!!!"

Her limbs are trembling, she forces herself up to her knees anyways. Something warm runs down her nose but she pays it no mind. Faba glares at her.

"I'm just going to have to erase your memories after this. Slowbro take care of her, as for you, I'm going to use you for my next project. Something about you seems to attract pokemon, You've shown me there are limitless possibilities with that type of power and i want that power for myself." Lillie feels as if something is broken in her, Ash falls eerily silent and she sees him staring blankly at nothing.

She rises up, unsteady but she doesn't back down.

"Snowy, don't give up. Hail then Aurora veil." She orders, remembers Ash standing before Rockruff with his arms crossed as he took on rock throw. She crosses her arms over her head and is violently pelted by hail stones. She takes the pain, because it is nothing compared to the broken feeling sitting in her chest that belongs to Ash.

Aurora veil takes effect and it no longer hails as she runs at Hypno while Snowy uses blizzard on Raichu. Hypno tries to use hypnosis, but Lillie had counted on that and had used the hail to pelt her body. Hypnosis couldn't work if she was in enough pain to break free.

She slams into Hypno, it slams its fist into her head and back but she holds on and pushes. She manages to reach and flicks the switch beneath the cage.

"Snowy blizzard! Mew psychic!"

Suddenly her feet leave the ground and she is flying.

She hits something solid, and it hurts but this is warm and familiar. She squints through the pain. She feels relief, pushes that feeling to the brokenness but is rebounded.

"Professor, you have to help Ash!" Professor Kukui sets her down, Gladion is by her side, holding her as the pokemon all attack at once.

"Silvally!" Brother calls out as he tosses a pokeball through the air. Alakazam is taken down by Scraggy and Silvally, Ash is free falling. 

An iridescent shimmering hole tears through space. Out floats a strange being, brother tightens his hold on her and gasps as cold fear floods her veins. She can remember the feeling of cool, smooth tentacles wrapped around her.

"No! Silvally!!!!" Silvally roars, mask shattering as it lunges at the being. Ash lands safely in Professor Kukui's arms and the being rushes towards them. Gladion curls over, she remembers everything and tightens her hold on him. She won't lose either of her brothers.

Then mother, full of remorse and protective fury, throws herself before them. Shielding them with her body, she's wrapped up and the feelings morph. Joy, longing, and something else.

Brother looks up as Lillie tries to reach out.

"Mother!" They shout as she vanishes into the tear in space. The tear slowly fades and then there is only silence.

Lillie had done as she promised.

She protected Ash. And brother had protected them both.

But now they'd lost mother.

And Ash.

Ash was gone, despite laying in Professor Kukui's arms.

They had been happy.

And now?

They'd just lost everything at once. 


	17. Sometimes It's So Hard To Breathe But No One Sees It Follows Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Interlude ******  
> Nanu's perspective on Guzma.  
>   
>  The boy rejecting tradition but wanting to become a trial captain. Being acknowledged by the Guardian Deity and then being beaten down. The rumors spread about him being a heretic due to rejection of their religion and the divine retribution of the Tapu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: weight of the world- Citizen soldier  
> 

Nanu sits at the Ruins of Abundance and listens to the wind howl. Tapu Bulu lazes across from him.

"Hasn't there been enough?" Nanu asks, Bulu says nothing.

"Hasn't there been enough suffering?" He asks again, he's positively seething as he kneels at the ruins and goes ignored.

He had left behind his previous life to get away from the guilt of death. Charlotte had only been twenty, and for their mistakes she had died. He had felt a calling to Ula'Ula since her death, he had followed it, trying to find a way to make up for his mistakes.

He wound up Kahuna. A job he never wanted, a position that made him in charge of hundreds of people.

He'd left behind his life as an interpol agent to get away from the responsibility of having others rely on him. He'd dropped all contact with Looker after their arguments.

He hadn't wanted this.

Being relied upon when he'd already failed.

"Haven't they suffered enough?" A pale young girl clutching onto a book and a young boy wrapped in bandages with tears in his eyes flash through his mind.

But he couldn't stand by as children suffered.

"I didn't ask for this!" He snaps, Bulu opens an eye. Peers at him for a minute, then promptly returns to dozing.

Nanu exhales. Then inhales. The wind outside continues to howl, and life moves on.

People suffer. They die. Are mourned and forgotten.

But in this place, here, he can keep track of that beast.

And he'd be ready for it.

He climbs to his feet and exits the ruins with his hands in his pocket and his shoulders hunched.

Gray eyes peer up at him, purple hair in disarray. The kid doesn't say anything, doesn't even blink at him.

"Did you feed the Meowth?" She nods, then holds up her book with a questioning look. He quickly scans the piles of books neatly stacked on the coffee table, then the floor.

"Grab the wagon, only fifteen this time." She nods and hurries off to grab her wagon to cart the books off.

"Were you well behaved for her?" Meowth stretches, idly bathing his face, his persian radiates disdain as he opens the fridge to reveal it was pretty bare. 

"Fine, i know already, stop with the looks." It's been a little over two months since he took in Acerola, formerly of the royal family. The last of the royal family, and didn't that just make it worse. The princess, of a dying line, now the only survivor. There's a small scuffing noise, he sees Acerola peeking at him from the doorway.

"Bring it here, let's load up these books and then go grocery shopping." She nods and brings the medium sized blue wagon over to the coffee table. He sets about loading the books in, carefully and under her supervision. Letting her correct him when she felt he wasn't properly handling the books. It was all that was left from her father. The library of books that she had taken to reading through as of two months ago.

"That was at least thirty five." He says flatly, she says nothing, Meowth purrs as he rubs against her shin.

"Okay." He says, then grabs the handle of wagon and waits patiently for her to grab hold of his pants or the back of his shirt.

She grabs hold of his hand instead. He opts to stay silent and they exit his home.

He watches her carefully arrange the books to her liking. Caressing the covers with a mournful little smile on her face. She pulls a tarp over them, then nods to him.

Nanu pays no attention to the stares, used to them because of his status as Kahuna. Acerola, the shy thing, uses him as a buffer by hiding behind him. Just because he doesn't pay attention to the stares, doesn't mean he doesn't hear. And he doesn't like what he's hearing.

It sounds like it's getting worse. It's only been two months since the royal family died, and somehow, the blame is being place at the feet of a fourteen year old who had been attacked by the Guardian Deity of Mele Mele, Tapu Koko. He doesn't see how anyone could brand that kid a heretic. Last he heard, this kid along with another, were on their way to becoming trial captains.

Now he was the victim of a violent crime. And he was being shamed and blamed for anything and everything. He doesn't understand how Hala had failed this badly, that a teenager was branded a heretic for the fault of a Deity known for picking fights.

Nanu may have never wanted this title, and he may try to weasel his way out of doing things that came with the title. But Nanu had never failed anyone since becoming Kahuna.

His life before here not withstanding.

He protected them as best he could. And yet Hala had utterly failed the young boy under his care. Had even allowed the whole island to turn against the innocent kid.

Nanu continues to remain impassive in the face of all the rumors and gossip as they shop, and then pay for the food. Acerola continues to remain a silent ghost at his side.

"We're back." Nanu says, tossing his keys onto the counter as he begins to sort out the food while Acerola sits in the wagon and opens up a book. He skims the title and see that its a story about the legend of the radiant one.

"Put down the book and help me cook." Acerola pouts, but gently sets her book down and uses the small stool to wash the vegetables while he begins to prep the meat.

He is used to this silence by now, but it's somehow more homier, than when it had been just him and his pokemon. 

Nanu watches his charge feed the pokemon, including the wild pokemon that continue to watch over her in place of the family pokemon. He knows the family pokemon continue to guard the library until Acerola is older, when she can claim the library.

He wonders absently, if she will ever speak, and then thinks that it doesn't matter if she does or not. Not when Nanu would sit here and listen to her silence.

She accepts the bowl of food and makes her way to the table while he washes the dishes and then joins her at the table.

Their silence is companionable. 

Nanu takes Acerola with him one day to Mele Mele to take check on the brat that had the unfortunate luck to catch the attention of the Guardian Deity of conflict. 

Nanu knows it's utter bullshit that it was divine retribution for committing blasphemy. What kind of blasphemy can a fourteen year old commit against a God?

No.

Hala had failed in his duties as Kahuna by laying the blame squarely on the boy's feet and because of it the boy was now a heretic in the eyes of all four islands.

Nanu looks down when Acerola tugs on his pant leg and points to a Golisopod that is hunched over someone. No. It's hunched over the boy he is looking for.

Nanu sees Acerola step out from behind him and take a few steps forward, not enough to leave his side, but enough that she was no longer hiding. She frowns, looking up at him and tugs on his pants again. The boy must have heard them coming as he looks up at them.

He looks Nanu dead in the eyes and Nanu pauses. He can see that no words will reach him as he is now. He had hardened his heart to the words thrown at him by the people out of fear and hurt. He has been wounded and abandoned by the people he trusted, backing away out of fear of even more rejection. He can see now, that in this mental state, Nanu would not be able to reach him. 

Nanu digs into his pocket and pulls out a white bracelet, woven out of white thread and measured with his own wrist.

"White is the symbol of purity and innocence." Nanu speaks softly, and kneels down to set the bracelet onto a shell on the sand. He rises to his feet and gives the boy a nod, gray eyes stare at him. Or rather they stare through him and then the boy vanishes as his Golisopod curls further over him as if to shield him from anymore harm.

Nanu and Acerola leave and the boy never once speaks a word. Nanu isn't one to pray. Hell, he had been tricked into becoming the Kahuna of Ula'Ula. But for these two kids he would pray.

He would pray for inner healing, safety and peace, the three things that they most needed now.

It was during one of their trips to the library that he found it. The solution to one of his problems with Acerola, namely her staunch refusal to speak. Doctors had taken a look at her vocal chords and determined that they were fine, and her psychologist said she was doing a lot better and would speak in due time.

"Here, we're both going to read this book front to back for the next month." Acerola accepts it and tenderly sets it into her wagon. As she looks for another book to read she runs into a shiny Mimikyu. The pokemon looks at her and pushes a book off the shelf, she dives after it. The next ten minutes go about the same way until Acerola nails the fairy type with her sandal. 

From that day on, Nanu can see the two play games together in the library. The pokemon watching over the library sigh in relief, it's the first time in a few months that he has seen her smile and laugh.

He has high hopes that one day she will speak. Possibly to nag at him for always trying to get out of his duties but he could accept that.

Nanu diligently set aside time to practice finger spelling with his charge. She had yet to actually sign to him for anything, and he was okay with that. As long as she knew that she could come to him, he was okay with her choosing to remain silent. This was something that she could control, something little but it affected her life greatly. If that brought her comfort then he would not take that away.

Nanu was patient. He was used to exercising patience, he wouldn't run out of it any time soon.

Until then, he would wait and teach his charge to sign and watch her play with her friend when she wasn't trying to read through the whole library. 

It is nearly a year later. Living with a shadow of a royal that never speaks that Nanu recieved an answer to one of his prayers. The boy had been taken in by Aether. Aether had faced some backlash for taking him in but bore it well.

"That Mimikyu is back." Acerola looked up from her book and set it down with great care before practically running to the window. Nanu finished his coffee and watch meowth lazily bathe her face and purr as she snoozed in a sunbeam. Another meowth sat beside Acerola and watched her.

"You can go outside." She glances at him with furrowed brows, hesitantly creeps to the door and opens it. Several Meowth crowd around her as she goes to play with the Mimikyu. Nanu rinses his mug and goes outside to sit in the sun so that Acerola won't be nervous. The anniversary of her father's murder was coming up, which made her pretty leery She had come so far from that terrified little thing she used to be.

"Per! Persian!" Nanu drops the mug and bolts for the door, he looks for Acerola, hand going to his waist as he takes in his surroundings. His pokemon are alert but not searching for danger.

He sees Acerola, she is crouching down by the Mimikyu, the only shiny Mimikyu on Ula'Ula. It had taken a shine to Acerola during one of their trips to the library and had taken to following them home every few days.

"What's wrong?" Nanu asks as he approaches, keeping his hand on his hip and an eye on his surroundings. Acerola looks back at him with a smile and tears in her eyes. He feels alarmed as he rushes forward and then freezes as he actually looks at the Mimikyu. 

"Oh." He says eloquently. He removes his hand from his hip and squats down beside her to peer at the Mimikyu that had chosen to continue to visit Acerola despite leaving it's mortal shell behind.

Acerola slowly lifts her left hand, ring finger, middle finger and index finger curled into her palm with her pinky and thumb extended. She's thanking Mimikyu and apologizing. Nanu raises his hand and covers her hand, he shakes his head.

"Just say thank you. Don't apologize." Mimikyu nods at them, and then beckons Acerola to play. She wipes her tears and beams at him.

"Go on, go play." He doesn't say that he's watching but she knows that he is when he chooses to sit down right where he was. His Meowths and persian continue to stand guard.

Later on, he would ask Mimikyu if it wanted him to find it and perform its last rights. But right now, he was content to watch his charge play and be a child.

Nanu hears Acerola speak for the first time when she gives him flowers.

"Thank you." She says simply, as if she hadn't been silent for a year and seven months. The nerve of this brat. Thanking him. _Him!_

He simply raises an eyebrow, she giggles and skips away to play with her Mimikyu, he glances down at the flowers and sighs. He grabs a glass and fills it with water then sets the flowers inside it.

She's a good kid. She has a kind and gentle heart. He thinks to himself as he looks at the flowers, a meowth purrs as she rubs herself on his legs, Nanu reaches down and lifts the meowth into his arms turning to face the window as he does so.

"The empodiment of hope, hope that other kid is doing okay too." Nanu thinks back to those unseeing gray eyes, no child should ever have eyes like that.

"That boy was in town." Nanu looks up from his computer, exiting his email as he did so. Acerola and her Mimikyu are standing in the doorway to his office. "His hair was pure white." Nanu can read the concern in her eyes, she glances at her Mimikyu then down at the floor.

"I'll walk around and see if i can spot him." Nanu doesn't know what to feel. The kid had practically vanished into Aether for nearly three and a half years and when he comes back, his hair is white?

Hadn't he prayed for protection and peace? 

Nanu walks into town, he walks despite the antsy feeling in his chest. He walks despite wanting to run and search high and lo for the child that had been forsaken by all.

He walks because he knows that the boy is a hurting child surrounding himself in thorns and vitrol with an even pricklier pokemon who would fight to the last for him because he has had to before.

Someone hurting and angry at the world was volatile, but they were more harmful to themselves. Believing all the lies and rumors said about them, warping them from the person that they used to be. 

Everyone had done a good job at making that happen.

Like some sick and twisted self fulfilling prophecy, spurning this child would lead them all to their own pitfalls.

Nanu wasn't going to stand by and leave him hurting.

 _Could never_ sit back when it was a child in need. _Would never_ sit back when it was a child in need.

Maybe that was why he was made Kahuna. Was this penitence?

Nanu doesn't bother with searching the town, there was absolutely no way the kid would bother staying near the people that had so cruelly shunned and abused him. 

"These clothes are too big." A young voice complained, Nanu paused and listened.

"It's so that you can grow into them. Trust me when i say that you'll be thanking me for it in a few weeks. Brats grow like weeds, i can't tell you how many times I grew out of my uniform until i just gave up and got it a few sizes too big." Huh. So that's what he sounded like.

"Mm'kay." The young voice mutters petulantly, Nanu turns on his heel and heads back home. He'll check on them tomorrow, for now he had some arrangements to make. No way was he going to let this boy live on the fringes of society like this.

Especially if he had a kid he was looking after, he'd have to look into that too. A kid shouldn't have to look after a smaller kid, but he knows that it happens.

The world was far from perfect.

Ula'Ula was pretty far from Aether, Nanu was going to do something stupid to someone if this kid actually fled Aether.

Nanu looks at the dilapidated mansion. It had quickly fallen into disrepair and being out of the reach of the populous, had been left to rot.

How quickly the people pushed something out of their mind when it didn't concern them, thought Nanu spitefully.

Bringing it up to feel pity towards the young royal left behind or to spit scorn at an innocent who had done nothing wrong. 

Acerola stands beside him, she stares up at the husk that is her previous home. She shakily reaches for his hand, he extends his hand and holds her shaking hand. She bows her head.

"Thank you." She speaks softly, voice carried away by the wind. Nanu waits in silence, as she says goodbye to the place where she grew up with a loving family and pokemon.

He lets her grieve in silence, a silent and steady presence for her to lean on until she was ready to move on.

When she moves again, its to press her palm to the door and rest her forehead against it.

"Please look after any that come to reside within you the way you did for me." She whispers, petting the door once and offering Nanu a solemn nod. Nanu grips her hand tightly as her eyes water, but she turns away with her head held high and a stiff upper lip. He knows this is hard, and saying goodbye is never easy, but he is proud.

She was stronger than he ever was. He had never said goodbye...

"Can i go to the library?" Nanu nods, leading her away from the newly named Shady House. It isn't much, but it could be in time. For now, it was a safe place to sleep with electricity and running water.

"Let's get going." Acerola nods and follows behind him as they make their way to the library. 

The sun had risen on this brand new day, and Nanu already wanted the day to be over.

Those gray eyes that had been empty and silent were now wary, with anger and hatred. His voice was rough and so full of distrust, he practically snarled when questioning Nanu.

The boy behind him was guarded on all sides by pokemon.

It hurt. Seeing what had been done to this boy.

He could see how closed off he was. He would not listen to anything that Nanu had to say, the wounds he carried were too fresh. Nanu could wait to be heard. 

He took Meowth with him and left behind a law book, a paper with the address for the former royal home, a deed for the property and a how to guide for taking care of kids. It was all he could do for them.

He would have to watch them from afar and provide for them whatever they would allow him.

Nanu would make sure that _No One_ bothered him. This kid had been wronged for too long, had possibly been wronged again. Nanu wasn't going to allow anymore harm to come to him.

He would heal just as Acerola had.

Nanu would send his Meowths to keep over the two kids and report back to him. Night after night, Meowth would report to him on the antics of the boy and his kid.

It was exactly one week after they had moved in that Meowth had slammed into the door, yowling. Nanu bolted out of his office, Acerola was at the door with his first aid kit and a basket of berries. She only catches sight of him leaving the office before taking off.

Nanu doesn't panic as he runs after Acerola and Meowth. He keeps pace, making sure that his gun is still attached to his hip holster and that he has his z ring as well. 

The ghost and bug type that lived within the mansion were swarming around. Causing chaos to attract attention but no one would move in to see what they wanted. Nanu paid them no mind and instead whistled sharply. 

The crowds parted, he and Acerola wasted no time and ran into the mansion. They could hear screaming and crying. 

Nanu grabbed Acerola and quickly pulled her to a stop, she hissed at him but reluctantly stayed put as he continued forward. He could see the shadows morphing around her and knew she was in safe hands while he continued on ahead. 

"I'M SORRY!!!! GUZMA!!!!!" A young voice screamed, Nanu pulled out his gun, keeping it at his side with his finger away from the trigger. He kicked open a door and raised his gun as he peered into the room. There were several pokemon. An Eevee, Golisopod, Ariados, Scizor, and Pinsir. The young child that had been hidden away from him was on the floor crying and apologizing.

And Guzma was lying on the floor with his back carved up. Nanu saw red as he scanned the room for any suspicious people or pokemon.

The pokemon are instantly on guard, the Golisopod is particularly defensive. 

"Acerola!" He shouts when he notes that the coast is clear. He holsters his gun and approaches with his hands raised.

The boy freezes, then rushes forward, blood is on his hands as he whimpers. His hands latch onto Nanu's shirt.

"Help, please! Please help!" He hiccups and tugs Nanu forward, the pokemon allowing it.

"What happened?" The kid shakes his head, leaving Nanu's side to kneel beside Guzma. He groans, eyes fluttering open a few times before they caught sight of him. He pulled the kid down and hugged him close with a protective growl.

"Easy, I'm just going to take a look." He shakes his head and slowly pushes himself into a sitting position. 

"No! Don't!" The boy cries, arms wrapped around the teen's neck as he presses his tear stained face into his shoulder. The teen pauses, seeming to calculate the risks as his pokemon move closer in response to his attitude. 

Acerola steps into the room, holding a basked in one hand and the small heavy duty case that contained his first aid kit. 

"Don't get any closer." She freezes, then looks down at her Mimikyu and sets the kit on the floor. The ghost drags it closer and the teen seems to allow it.

Nanu nudges his Meowth, she nods and steadily makes her way closer, this is also allowed, though barely tolerated by the other pokemon.

"Meowth will take a look, and if it is as bad as it seems, i need your permission to help you." Nanu recognizes the little boy, the heir of the Aether president Lusamine. The young heir dries his tears and takes a step back, though he still keeps his hands bunched up into Guzma's sweater.

"You're hurt really bad." He whispers, it takes a second but the teen reluctantly gives Nanu permission to step closer as Meowth looks at his back.

"Meowmeowth." Nanu remains calm, and slowly crouches down.

"May i step closer?" It takes a moment, gray eyes boring holes into him, and Golisopod chittering before he is allowed a single step closer.

Nanu keeps calm, keeps his hands raised and asks permission for every step until he is about a foot away. The kid is tightly wound, teeth bared in a snarl as he shuffles the younger kid into his arms and out of view.

Nanu's heart weeps for him.

"I'm going to open this kit here, and then i will reach in and pull out gauze, antiseptic, and bandages." Nanu waits until he is given permission, even though the teen has lost a lot of blood and is fading fast. Nanu was not going to be another adult that failed this kid. He would go at his pace and wait.

"Guzma?!" The younger boy yelps and struggles to hold him up when he begins to list to the side. His Pinsir steps up and props him up with a nod. 

"Please help him!" Green eyes plead, then hastily look at the pokemon. "Tell me what to do! I can help!" Nanu nods and passes over gauze, catching the boy's attention.

"You need to listen to my every instruction, understand..." the boy nods, then seems to realize that Nanu had paused to get his name.

"Gladion." Nanu watches Gladion take the gauzes and press them over the wounds on Guzma's back. They are instantly soaked through. Gladion whimpers, hands shaking as he glances back at Nanu with helplessness written plain across his face.

"Drop them on the floor, take these and press them to the wounds." His hands are stained bright red as he reaches for more gauze. "Gladion, breathe." He exhales shakily and presses the gauzes to Guzma's back and waits. Nanu can see three long cuts, they take up half of Guzma's back from shoulder to hip.

"This next set of gauzes have antiseptic on it. It will sting but you need to rub them over the wounds from top to bottom." Fearful green eyes look down at the gauzes Nanu handed him, he tears up and apologizes profusely as he begins to clean the wounds.

Guzma jerks, a short cry of pain is released and then Golisopod moves, Nanu hooks his arms around Gladion's waist and yanks him back. Golisopod glares at him, chittering furiously and then Guzma shakes his head and faces Nanu.

"Leave the kid, now." Nanu releases Gladion and waits, Guzma sways as he sits down and holds out his hand. Gladion rushes forward and hugs his arm.

"Golisopod won't hurt him. Golisopod... Golisopod's..." his eyes roll backwards and he nearly topples forward but his pokemon have him. They motion to the supplies and Nanu obliges them.

"Rub the antiseptic over the wounds, thoroughly, then stop." They do as he says, Gladion passing them the supplies, his hands no longer stained red because Mimikyu pours water over them.

"Now you need to remove Guzma's shirt and sweater. Pack as many gauze as you can around the wound and wrap bandages around his shoulder and chest." Nanu pauses, he looks at the kid then the pokemon.

"I need your permission to get closer." The pokemon growl or hiss at him, the kid stiffens and shakes his head. "The pokemon will make the bandages too tight, and you will make them too loose. I won't touch him any longer than necessary." Gladion bites his lip, and Eevee steps up and yips at him.

"Okay... don't hurt him." Nanu's heart wilts at the whispered plea.

"I will try my best to not hurt him." The kid remains close and Nanu has him hold gauzes in place while he quickly yet efficiently wraps the bandages.

He moves back the second he is finished and waits.

"I'm going to leave this kit here, and Meowth. Acerola and I will be outside the room, in case you need anything." Nanu nods to Meowth, she settles down by the kid and waits, tail slowly flicking from side to side.

"You don't have to stay here if you don't want to." Nanu says when he closes the door, Acerola's hands clench and she shakes her head.

"Let me know when it gets too much." She nods mutely and settles beside him to wait. Nanu looks up at the dark ceiling and waits.

He is good at waiting. If anything else, Tapu Bulu had taught him how to have patience in spades.

Mimikyu slowly manifests beside them and waits as well.

Nanu looks up from his seated position when the door opens. Acerola stays asleep with her head resting on his knee.

"He's burning up..." Gladion looks pale as he speaks, he looks uncertain as to what to do.

"I'll take a look." Nanu shifts Acerola and then pulls her into his arms as he makes his way into the room. Guzma is lying face down on Golisopod, his face flushed as sweat coats his skin. Golisopod croons at him, then spots Nanu and envelops him in a solid embrace that covers the wounds.

"Guzma is sick, please." Golisopod listens to the scared kid and loosens up, the other pokemon remain on guard as Nanu steps closer.

"There's a thermometer in the kit right there." Gladion holds it up and at his nod he stands on his tip toes to try and reach Guzma, Golisopod lifts him up and settles him onto his stomach beside Guzma.

"It says... it says 104." His voice shakes, fearful green eyes find his and ask for help without saying it.

"I'll help as best i can, first we need to cool him off." Nanu shifts Acerola so that her head is resting on his shoulder and one of his arms is holding her by the back of her knees to free up one arm.

"I'm going to leave and come back with water." He nods and rests his hand on Guzma's forehead with whispered apologies spilling past his lips.

It took over three days of careful monitoring to bring Guzma's fever down. Once he was coherent he grabbed the kid and took off deeper into the house, the pokemon blocking his way. Nanu let him be.

He had heard enough while he was sick to paint him a small picture of why he fled Aether. He had some research to do.

To think that there were more of the other worldly creatures. This one might even be worse.

"We're going to be looking for information on the ultra beasts right?" Acerola asks him as they make their way to the library. 

"Yeah." Nanu and Acerola leave Shady house behind them, the ghost type and bug type pokemon had calmed down and were once more dwelling within the house. The people had dispersed possibly the past day. It was silent as they walked, Acerola reached out and grabbed hold of his hand. Nanu returned the grip and tugged her closer.

Leaving behind two hurting children was the worst, it left a bad taste in his mouth. But he didn't want to overstep anymore boundaries. 

That was all that the kid had for himself. Nanu would respect the boundaries. He would respect the distance. And when he was ready, Nanu would reach out.

Nanu looked at the books with disbelief. Radiant one, why?

What on Arceus' green earth had Aether done?

The son of the president running away with Guzma made so much sense. His white hair. The pokemon's fiercely protected attitude. 

They erased the teen. The daughter of the president had pokephobia. And the son had runaway for unknown reasons.

This was a mess.

Hell, this was irrefutable proof that Aether was up to no good and he couldn't do a thing about it.

This was proof that interpol had been aware of what Charlotte was. They had sent her with Looker and himself as bait. Had been doing this for years with the help of Aether.

"Meowth, i want you to tell the ghost pokemon and the bug pokemon to keep anyone that doesn't have express permission to enter the grounds, _**out."**_ Meowth nods his head and heads off to the house to switch places with the other meowth.

Nanu was going make damn sure these two were protected. And then he would see about getting the daughter out of reach of her mother. 

He was going to bring Aether to the ground. The ultimate good of Alola, what Tauros crap were they spreading. These were houndoom hiding in mareep clothing.

_Creatures not of this earth, cast out of this realm by Solgaleo and Lunala. To the realm where the Radiant One resides. They were capable of truly destructive feats. And immune to the attack of all pokemon but the two legends of sun and moon. It was only they, that could defeat them and banish them._

The photos depicted were horrifying. 

The beast that had taken Charlotte. And the creature that had frightened Guzma bad enough to change his hair color.

Many more, each one more horrible than the last and getting progressively dangerous.

"Acerola. You must never let this book leave the library. Keep it hidden. Keep it safe." Acerola solemnly cradles the book and gazes up at the ceiling.

"I can keep this book out of the library. It's okay." Nanu rests his hand on her head.

"You're a very good kid." She smiles up at him, and passes him the book while gathering the books that had already searched. She puts them back where they belong with the help of several pokemon.

One month of the two boys living in Shady house, and one of his Meowth came back to tell him that there is a new occupant. 

Nanu thinks about the supplies the kid buys whenever it is near closing time. First aid, food, water, berries. He wonders if it is enough what they have now. 

He sends his sableye next. The dark type salutes him and vanishes into the night. Nanu plans to pay a visit tomorrow morning, but for now he leaves his pokemon to guard.

The very next morning, bright and early he heads to the market and buys some berries as well as a few children's books and makes his way to Shady house.

He makes sure to wait outside, his Meowth no doubt alerting the residents. 

A young girl with short cropped pink hair and a white sundress steps out. Her yellow eyes narrow into a hard glare, meowth sidles past her and curls up on the porch. 

"I'm not going back." Nanu sighs and shrugs.

"I don't really care if you go back or not. Anyone personally invited to live on these grounds, is protected. I'll leave this here, if there are any problems, the pokemon will attack intruders." Nanu sets down his bags and makes his way out of the grounds.

Plumeria, daughter of a visiting league official with one of the elite families of Mele Mele. The child of an affair, with impossible expectations lain on her shoulders had finally runaway. And made her way to Ula'Ula to reside in Shady house.

That wasn't a coincidence. 

Misfits fit in with other misfits.

The next time he sees her, she is wearing baggy pants and a t shirt, her hair is covered by a white beanie. Gladion at her side as he thanks Nanu for the supplies he brings. Nanu can see bandages on his arm, the kid smiles at him and the girl shoos him off.

"Guzma doesn't hurt him." She defends, hackles raised. Nanu knows the kid wouldn't hurt Gladion, had gotten hurt to protect him.

"I know. Try to keep the danger to a minimum, and if you need to go to the hospital, have Meowth come get me." She looks confused, Nanu tosses her a hair tie with a skull on it that Acerola bought.

"Acerola said you're welcome to her library." He waves and walks off to her flabbergasted expression. He knows that she has dealt with much in her young life, expectations thrust upon her in equal measure with scorn for simply being born. 

Every time Nanu checked in on the occupants of the house, they seemed to multiply. Most of them in either white or darkly colored clothing. 

Boys and girls of all ages wind up in Shady house. Like they can sense a presence similar to their own and find acceptance away from their problems. Most kids were between the ages of eleven to fifteen. 

For all its claim of acceptance, Nanu could see the dark side of Alola just fine from where he stood. Then one day Guzma came to the door instead of its various occupants.

"We don't need your charity old man, I'm taking care of my own. And any that get in my way, well, they wanted destruction." He he smirks confidently with his hands raised as if to say 'who me'. "They've got it." Nanu sets down the first aid supplies he had brought, along with other miscellaneous things.

"Just don't break the law, O destructive one. Can't protect you then." Nanu shoves his hands into his pockets, he tosses a black chain to Guzma and turns away before the kid can throw it back at him.

"Think of it as a welcoming gift to Ula'Ula. Your band of ragamuffins look like a team, so keep them in line. Your black and white morality will make the difference between staying safe together or being disbanded and alone." Nanu walks off with that bit of advice.

Guzma chuckles darkly, then the door slams. When Nanu peers back, the supplies are gone. He smiles to himself. 

There might be hope yet, for that kid and the others to heal.

* * *

Acerola looks up from where she polishes father's gold bracelet, Nanu looks to be in a good mood when he returns from Shady house. She's glad, he's been so worried about Guzma lately. She slips the bracelet over her arm until it rests on her bicep where it won't slip off.

She had been worried too. Even Mimikins had worriedly checked up on them a few times when Acerola was at the library.

When Meowth had reported more kids showing up, she and Nanu had banded together to make small care packages for each individual, to welcome them. She made sure to get plenty of hair bands, brushes and cute little hair clips. 

She even went with Nanu to get Guzma a new bracelet! She hopes he likes it.

She has yet to see any of them at the library, but Meowth carries one book a day to Shady house and returns it several days later.

She wonders if one day she might be able to play with anyone that lives in Shady house. They didn't seem lonely there. It was like the kids that gathered there, were lost with no hope. And then they found themselves, or rather found someone that accepted them for who they were.

Acerola peers at Nanu's office and smiles. She knows the feeling. 

"Um... can I borrow a book?" Acerola jumps up from her bench and beams at the boy with green eyes. He was wearing a black bandanna over his mouth and nose with a white beanie over his hair.

"Sure!" She leads him around, pointing out each section and genre. Passing him her favorites.

"Brat!" Acerola looks at the schooling books she had just pulled and reaches out to grab hold of the boy. She runs, leading him down twists and turns until they pop up right behind Guzma. He blinks slowly at her, then the boy.

"I thought I said a few books." Acerola glances back and sees the pile of books they both had. The boy shrugs helpessly.

"Alrighty then." He sighs with a shake of his head. He grabs the books and sets them all on the counter. 

"You look better." She tells him, he pauses in the act of reaching for the kid. 

"I have a present for you too!" She chirps happily as she heads over to the desk and digs in one of the drawers, until she has the small box. She slides it over while making a record of the books.

"Black and white too?" She can hear the grin in his voice as he slips it on.

"We're gonna need a badass name then." Mimikins floats over and deposits a small skull brooch. Acerola picks it up and blinks at it. Looks like someone lost it.

"Skull..." she glances up at Guzma, his grin is wide and razor sharp. "We're gonna be Team Skull." He chuckles darkly, a book lands on his head and Nanu walks past him without a word. Guzma grumbles irritably as he sets the book on the counter. She takes it and smiles. 

"When you're ready to talk, I'll listen." Nanu disappears down the aisle of books.

_The Body Remembers: The Psychophysiology of Trauma and Trauma Treatment by Babette Rothschild_

She remembers this book well.

"This one, you can take as long as you please to return it." She smiles as she hands it over, he extends his hand and cautiously accepts the book.

He takes the rest of the books, sneers at her and then runs off as soon as the boy is holding onto his sweater.

"What do you think?" Acerola looks away from the doors to Nanu, the Kahuna is flipping through a newspaper on the latest discovery in Unova.

"He makes a good brother." Nanu slips off the counter he leaned against. She laughed and took off to the last section she had been reading through.

Yes, he was a good brother. And the family that her brother called his own, made them her family.

What had been a family of one, then two, had grown into a family of fifteen in a few years.

* * *

Nanu always made sure to visit when Shady house gained a new occupant. Guzma and Plumeria more often than naught were the ones to meet him. Their looks changing more and more with each visit.

Guzma wearing baggier clothes. Mixes of black and white until he had primarily black clothes with some white.

Plumeria had blond streaks, longer hair. Wore pants and tank tops. Her fiercely protective look giving way to soft acceptance and irritation at the sight of Nanu. Unless it was Akala that visited along side him.

The older man

He rarely saw Gladion, but the boy had changed too. Distant, cold, wary. 

Nanu came by to check on Guzma when he heard that Gladion was spotted on his own with a Rockruff and an Eevee. Guzma answered the door with a scowl.

"Children are like sponges, they absorb everything. Including negativity." Nanu warned, Guzma was silent, arms crossed as he looked down at his feet.

He said nothing for a moment, then he shifts and takes a step forward as he stuffs his hands into his pockets.

"Can Acerola come over?" Nanu nods, and sets a box down on the floor.

"You have a landline but not a single phone. My number is written on the box, call when Acerola is ready to come home." Guzma nods but doesn't reach for the box.

And just like that, Gladion would come to the library to learn alongside Acerola. Guzma teaching them when Nanu didn't have time, and then he completely took over that. He and his band of ragamuffins were all learning in the library or playing with Acerola and the pokemon in Shady house.

Gladion ends up really sick one winter. He receives a call from Plumeria telling him that Guzma had run to the hospital with Gladion and that it looked bad.

Nanu arrives in time to stop Guzma from assaulting a doctor. Gladion wakes up and in confusion had reached for Guzma which prompted the near assault. Nanu sits with Guzma and makes sure that he eats and sleeps and goes home to shower.

It was the longest eleven days of his life.

Acerola stayed with Plumeria almost the whole time, she didn't like hospitals.

Nanu didn't count the years, he stopped after he had become Kahuna. He noticed the seasons change, and paid it no mind. He watched the kids and teenagers grow up before his very eyes.

All angry at the world, lonely and hurt.

But little by little they pieced themselves together and found their place in Ula'Ula. Causing mischief and mayhem wherever they went. Spreading it to the other three islands, not enough to get them in trouble with the law, but enough for the Alolans to feel their displeasure.

Acerola wasn't the mute little girl he had taken in. She was a young woman now, the owner of the vast library of the Alolan royals. Every book had been read, and had circulated the island a few times.

Plumeria had grown into a young adult in the midst of freedom and it showed. Her rough language, the way she dressed as she pleased and did her hair and make up. She would have been nothing but a caged Oricorio had she stayed with her mother.

The various misfits had adopted the dress code that Guzma and Plumeria wore. Each one now had brightly colored hair or some sort of homage to the two leaders of Team Skull.

Gladion was well adjusted if distant with other people. He had his grand trial on Akala island and was prepared to finally return home.

And Guzma. A fine young man, causing chaos wherever he went. Picking up the strangest pair of glasses he had ever had the pleasure of laying his eyes on. And don't even get Nanu started on the necklace that his band of misfits had commissioned. Nanu didn't want to think about the Tattoos.

_"Alright brat, what did you want to show me?" Nanu freezes as Plumeria ties her sweater around her waist and exposes a hot pink skull on her midriff. Guzma does the same exposing two purple skull tattoos on his arms. Nanu can't believe that they had defaced their bodies like this. He knows they were angry at their families and thought this was a way to get back at them, to rebel._

_This would make things harder for them when they would inevitably come to a crossroads for their future._

_Then Guzma smirked, like the little shit that he was._

_"Those are fake aren't they." He states flatly._

_"Of course, no way am i going to ruin anyone's future by permanently defacing them." Nanu reaches forward and flicks the brat on the forehead. He scowls as a hand comes up to rub his forehead._

_"Was this what you wanted to show me?" He grunts and leads Nanu inside, there he finds all the brats gathered, including Gladion and Acerola._

_"Happy birthday!" Guzma is taking money from everyone including Acerola. She pouts at him as if to blame him and he simply stares at her._

_"You said i couldn't plan a party, you never said he couldn't." Nanu was going to need to watch what he said around these two devious kids of his._

He had nearly said something, would have possibly ruined his relationship with the brats if Guzma hadn't been smirking like the devious brat he was.

The black roots had told Nanu all that he needed to know. That Guzma was starting to heal, even if he still wasn't ready to listen to Nanu, he was recovering.

And then a boy had come to Alola with a Pikachu, Scraggy, Bayleef and a Mew disguised as a Pikachu. Tapu Bulu had been awake when he visited the Ruins of Abundance.

"Things are going to change aren't they?" Tapu Bulu nods, dancing around and Nanu wonders if they will be for the better. He wonders if his band of brats would come out unscathed or would they come out worse off than they had been.

And change they did.

It started on Mele Mele, with Professor Kukui's students. With the daughter of Lusamine and her pokephobia.

Then Tapu Fini had come out of its self imposed isolation. 

Kahuna Hala was wary, not in the same way as Nanu and it showed. Nanu decided to keep a close eye on this brat, Hala had better not fuck up again.

And then the totem pokemon began to give Z crystals. And Grand Trials taking less than a month.

Then Guzma called him one afternoon.

"Those kids have been through a lot, but they haven't stopped trying. That's a lot better than i can say for myself." Nanu looks at Guzma, he was walking around the Ruins of Abundance as he spoke. 

"Recovery isn't a competition. Everyone has their own way to recover and they may take as long as they wish to recover." Guzma pauses at the altar where he and Acerola laid berries and flowers, he turned his back to it and sat down. Nanu let him be, he remembers how he had turned his back on religion in his youth.

"Can you tell me about what happened?" Nanu starts, the walk to the ruins had been silent, and even now Guzma was silent about himself.

"Didn't Hala tell you?" Guzma sneers, Nanu doesn't fall for the deflect, he sits down across from Guzma.

"That's his side and already know it was wrong. You're a good kid, even with your band of misfits." Guzma fidgets with his watch, he sighs.

"He sent me out to fight the totem pokemon even though i told him i wasn't ready." This Nanu had guessed himself. "I won but he wasn't there to observe, and on my way back..." Guzma shudders, Golisopod is out of his pokeball and sprawled across his lap. Nanu lets him take all the time he needs to gather his wits.

"Tapu Koko was watching..." Guzma runs his hand over Golisopod's back. "I was challenged after the Guardian Deity gave me a few oran berries for my pokemon." He flinches, Golisopod chitters something and the rest of Guzma's pokemon release themselves from their pokeballs.

"I lost, Golisopod's ability was triggered." He looks down with fear, no shame over the fact that his pokemon had runaway, more like relief that one of his pokemon had been spared. Tapu Koko wouldn't have seen it that it. It would have been seen as an insult.

"I didn't black out, i wish i had." Guzma whispers and Nanu can hear his pain, can see it as clearly as if he had been there. Hadn't he witnessed the same thing happen to Charlotte? "I was awake for the whole thing, my pokemon all beaten and unconscious and i couldn't do a thing to protect them." He's crying. Nanu had always been protective of children, finding out about a whole island victim blaming a boy had made him more protective.

But then the boy had come to his island as a traumatized teenager on the cusp of adulthood and Nanu knew he would do anything to defend him.

Never before had Nanu caused conflict despite being a dark type specialist. And now he wanted nothing more than to give into the darkness in him.

But one look at the lost kid crying with his head in his hands calms him. Nanu stands up and slowly makes his way over to the kid, kneeling down in front of him.

"You were just a kid and you didn't do anything wrong." Gray eyes look up at him and Nanu can see clarity. "You were the victim, and Hala took the easy way out." He rests his hand on Guzma's shoulder and smiles.

"The time will come when people will no longer see you as a heretic. They will see you for who you truly are." Guzma sobs, his pokemon hold him while Nanu squeezes his shoulder.

He knows there is more to the story, he has yet to ask about Aether even though he has some clues. But it can wait until another time.

"Healing is a long process that could take years. There are hiccups and blockades, and you might back slide every now and then. But as long as you have support and courage, you can continue on the path before you no matter how long it takes, you will reach the end and look back at all your progress." Nanu places his other hand on Guzma's head and ruffles his hair. "It always gets darker before the dawn and your dawn is coming, i promise." 

The boy that had brought about all these changes was named Ash Ketchum. An aura adept and god blessed.

He had heard rumors that the kid suffered from trauma. Guzma had said it as well, but for the kid to be traumatized by being god blessed was interesting. It meant that the very pokemon that were worshipped as gods had played a part in his trauma. Which made Guzma reaching out to him make sense.

Of course the ultra beasts were once more on the move, no doubt drawn to the energy radiating from this kid.

And then the president of Aether was abducted by an ultra beast, her daughter was beaten and bruised, her son no better and barely cured of stunspore sickness, and the one at the center of this was catatonic. 

Nanu knows that Guzma had broken into Aether before. With and without Gladion to liberate pokemon and pass them to him to free and take care of their injuries.

He normally didn't have to worry about when he got those types of calls. And then he told him about the reckless idiots who went into ultra space unaware of the danger. And on top of that Guzma had been injured.

"What have you done to yourself?" Guzma reclines on the couch beside Acerola who bandages his hand. "I've already called in the brigade, they are on standby for now." While i came to look after you was unspoken but the small glares Acerola and Guzma aimed at him told him that they caught on.

"Glare all you like, I'll go once I've made sure you're alright." Guzma lists his injuries, Acerola lists the treatments and Nanu checks the bruises and probes his ribs.

"Do me a favor, have your band of brats lay low for a few days." Guzma nods, Nanu ruffles his hair and tosses his fuzzy blanket over him.

"I'll watch him." Nanu nods and makes his way to Poni island.

Then one morning as he leaves the police office he sees the god blessed brat himself. He catches sight of Nanu and waves.

"Morning Officer Nanu, Gladion and Kukui-hakase said you were also the Kahuna. Mm but you only introduced yourself as Officer." He mutters the last part with furrowed brows.

Nanu looks at his pokemon. An uncaring Torracat, a Bayleef that emits a spicy scent, a sleeping Rowlet on his shoulder, a leering Scraggy in his arms, a Pikachu on his shoulder, a new species of Lycanroc wagging its tail, a snarling Charizard behind him like a demon out of hell, and Mew curled up on his hat.

"Those are some pokemon you go there." The brat has the gall to look confused as he looks behind him and up at... a sentient pokedex...

"Ah, Rotom is just like any other pokemon... kinda. Right?" He asks confused and the sentient dex gets offended. 


	18. How To Draw The Line Between Rage And Mercy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Arc 2 Part 1 ******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: simmer - hayley williams

He was _scared._

He was _so_ **scared.**

His _pokemon_ were _hurt._

Gladion was _hurt._

_Lillie was being hurt._

Then Faba talked. He talked and Ash was helpless, bound and in the air. His ears filling with static, Greninja was trying to talk, he knows it, but his heart thunders in his ears.

He's screaming.

Pleading for Lillie to stop, for Faba to stop.

His heart is breaking as he sees her being repeatedly hurt.

But Lillie pushes on with determination and courage as she smiles at him. Then thunder slams into her and she's writhing, shrieking as her limbs rattle around dangerously.

She's in so much _pain._

Then he hears, more like _feels_ those **words.**

**_~~"You've shown me there are limitless possibilities with that type of power and i want that power for myself."~~ _ **

There is light, blinding and yellow, not red. Screaming, metal buckling beneath a pokemon as it it violently thrown at the wall. A man standing below him as he is helpless and bound.

Words that ooze lust and greed.

And then _he_ _**burns.**_

"̸͍̭̏S̷̫̍o̷͓̪ ̶̝̦̄̃A̴̹̬̤͑̋ș̸̩͓͗͋̈́h̸̠̗̰̽,̸͔͚̍ ̶͈̦͂͐Ị̶̔̓'̶͈͈͆̽̆m̸̝̽ ̶̬̱̱͌g̵̠̰̤̑o̶̫̣̟͌̐ì̸͎̯̘͌n̷̙̚g̴̙̎͋ ̷̨̗̤͒̆̊t̸̙̅͋ͅǫ̵̱͂͗̆ ̸̏͜u̸̡͐̚s̷̨̝̤͗̌̉e̶̫̼̿͌ ̵͍̈́̚y̵͍̓̈̏o̴̫̬ų̴͙͙̾͐r̵̟̪̎̓͋ ̶̯̭̕b̷̞̰̀̃ŏ̵̡̲̻͘n̸̨͈͔̊̃̈́d̵͚̘̉͘ ̵̢̰̒̕p̶̭̺͖̆ḣ̶̹̦͎̅ë̷̳́̉n̵̲̪̈̿̈́ő̸̯͊m̴͉̈́̕e̶̡̻̋̉͘n̷̯̫̓o̶̖͓̞͒ņ̶͔͇̍̓ ̴̻̍͘ĩ̶̢͇̖̇n̷͇̈́̃ ̸͈̪͙̿̏s̴̰̠̅̊̒ê̵̛͉͓͝r̶̫̅v̶̠̻̆̒ï̷͎͒c̵̦̖͛͐͝ȩ̴̠̣̈͐ ̵̢͚̩̍̐t̴̨̯̻̂͛̃o̴̰̿ ̴̨̦͍̍t̸̺͚͍̿ḩ̵̻͗̈́̽e̶̩͠ ̸̯͐ẘ̸̙o̷͇̼͇̊̆̕r̶̙͒̉̕l̸̥̹̇d̴̛̩̱̆̃.̴̛͎̻̉̄"̴̘̪̬͗̉̚ ̶̨F̷͖̲͕̈e̷̘͍̅á̵̜̆̈́ȑ̵̦͍͘̕ ̶̛̘͍̈́͠f̶̢̡̬́o̶͕̅̒͊r̸̦̜̼ ̷͉͓̽͊h̵͎̗̓i̷͈̲̳̔̂͘s̷̩̩͖̾ ̸̤̔̏p̵̼͂͛̓o̴̻̎ķ̴͎̌͜e̶͕͌̅ṁ̴̜̭̯o̸̪̅̍͜n̷̼̽͘ ̴̢̜̌f̶͓̩̏í̴̢̖̞̐̈́l̵̗͆́̄ĺ̴͉̯̕ė̸̢̩d̶͇͒̿͘ ̷̙̪͈͊͋h̴̰͝ȉ̵̗͗m̷̠̋.̶̫̲̎̽̌ ̷̡̃̉ ̷̺̗͕͗"̸͙̝W̶̮̅ḩ̸̣̆e̶̝̐͛̿n̸͉̽͗ ̷̞͕̲̀́͗i̴̥̰̓̇ ̵̤̈́̏s̷͓̣̗̈́̈ã̶̲̰̬w̶͖͊̃ ̸͖̥̜̊̃t̷̩̀̈h̷͚͋̓ȧ̸̡͍̳͠t̷̲̏̌,̶̜͑̈͘ ̵͖̎̓i̷̺͗ ̴̳̳͚͐͆w̴̮͔̍̾͝a̴̟͕̽s̷̠͆ ̶̢͖͔̆͌͐t̵̖̮̐̀h̶͕͌̕r̵̛̥̾ĩ̷̮͗̅ḷ̸̤̈́̃̾ͅl̶̲̒é̸̩̪͎̋͋d̸̗́͛.̸͔̺̀̓ ̷͇͎̽Y̵̭͈̕͠͠o̵̙̩̺̍̍u̵̧͇̒͊ ̴̠͉̗̈̎̇h̴͉̰̠̊ä̶͓̜́̓͛͜v̷͇̙̜̾͗e̶͔̋ ̷̙̈͘s̶̺̺͚͐̿̓h̵̬͉̍̇͠o̶͓̹̓̋w̵̼̳͗̊̕n̶̲͇̘̍͂ ̵̛̠̊m̴͖̜̔͊͂e̶̡͚͎̋̀ ̷̱̇ẗ̵̪͌͝h̶̖̎̎ẽ̴͕r̷͙̂͘e̷̛͔̞̖̓ ̶̼̥̂̐̚a̵͔̟̳̍̎r̶͖̅e̴͙͋ ̴̲̮̍l̴̗͈̣̊͒̿ỉ̷͜m̷̢̘͝i̸̻͔̓͒ť̶̡ĺ̴̢̖̱ě̷͓̫̪̑ş̵̩̈́̌s̷̡͔͍̀̔ ̷̳̲̩̀͝p̴̹͎͈̈́o̴̜͍͚͑s̸̨̺͎͛͝s̴͈̃͆i̷̢͖͎͐b̴͙̺̊̐i̷̭̩̍͠l̶̘̎̓i̸̯͚̕t̸̘͊i̴̟͐e̵̲̞̱͑s̴̡̰̎ ̵̬͙̹̐̑w̸̠͔̓͐ȉ̵̦t̸̝̋h̷͓͂̌ ̸̞̙̲̍̈́p̴͙̻͑o̵̢̱̜͐k̶͙̈́̓e̸͈̕m̴̱̝͐̾ȯ̶̢̻̥̽ṇ̵̝͖͝ ̶͈̔s̷̲͓̯͘͝t̷͚̻̋̉̕i̷̲̦̊̅̕l̶̙̯̃̉͊l̶̹͗̏͗.̶̛̩̰̎͑ ̸̹̐̇̕A̶̠n̷̨̲͍̆̀͠d̵̛̼̤̠ ̸̯̠̯̽͋̊ǐ̶͖ ̵̪̆͛̃w̶̘̣̻̓̽a̶̖͙̟͂̈́͊n̶̛̘̄͝t̵̜͐ ̵͔̞̈́̕t̸̜͐̂͑ĥ̸̖̓͘ä̴͎́̅̎ṫ̴̗̝ ̶͍̑p̸̰͇̈̈́͊ỏ̷̜̰̫͛w̷̺͓̾̽e̴͔̦̅́̓͜ȓ̶̼̞̈́.̵̘͑͗͜͝ ̸̮̮̑̊͛F̴̼̠̠̏͑o̵͚̔r̶̰͐͝ ̶̙͈̘m̷̬̲͂̋̐y̸̢̰͂s̶̡̰̅͛̉ê̶̱͖͖̎l̵̨̛͈͐͌f̴̻̾̓ͅ.̶̳͉̚͜"̴̱̓̕ ̶̹̞̌T̷̻̦̪̈́̔̓h̴̗̋̄̈ͅẻ̷͉̲͂̈ ̷͇̣̑̊̏l̸̥̹͆̍u̷̢͕͆̋͝s̸̯̼̋͘ẗ̴̢͕́̉͜͝,̶̬̥̺́ ̸͖̃̚t̷̢̡̪͒h̶̤̳͗͝ḛ̶̼͕̽̅ ̶̢͓͐̍ả̷̢͕̫͆v̶̖̼͇͊̽á̵̼̫̗̃ṟ̶̉͗i̶̥̋c̸̲͔̘̒̋͂e̸̤͖̓͜ ̵̲̈ḭ̷̢̞̔n̴̠̄͐̽ ̵̮̗̫́̚t̴̛̮̺̮̓h̴̪͇͉̓͗̿ȉ̴̼̫̘̈́s̸͍̘͊ ̴̞̪̓̇m̷͈̳̭̉̌̆a̵̡̱͌̓̅͜n̴̙̹͛̚͝ ̵̻̟́f̶͍͖́r̴̟̉̐̂ͅi̷̮͑g̶͉̯̈́̽ḧ̶͍̫́t̸̼̭͎̒è̵͎̭̑́n̵̤̎e̶͕̫̊̀͜͝d̸͉̫͛̊̐ ̵͓̈ĥ̸̡i̸̯̹̰̍͊m̴̡̎̏ͅ.̴͎͋ ̴̞̬͎P̷̖̬̈́̿e̶̩͒o̵͕̦̽̈́͊p̶̟͍͙̉͗̌l̶̗͒e̶͓̅ ̷̡̲̺͗l̶̛̯̐i̵̡͑̍k̴͔̫̆͜e̵̲̋͐̕ ̶̠̂̈́͝ẖ̷̞̅̽͝i̵̥̤̻̾̋̋m̴̳̤̋ ̷͇̳͖͒w̵̯̪̟̓̄é̶̖̹̲̏r̶͇͒e̸͕͖̒̆̄ ̸̥͉͋d̷̦̋̃a̸̙ṅ̷̪͗͒g̷̢̪̱͐ḛ̸̅̀r̶̢̢̖̉o̸̞̤͛ȕ̴͚̭̦s̸̝̈,̵͓̂ ̸̼̂t̷͚̖̦̋͝h̷̞̋̔e̸̹̹͋͊̉ÿ̷͓̻́͜͝ ̵̜͝ẇ̶̩͉͈͝ó̸͇ṷ̴̓ͅl̶̥̖̿̃d̵̛͈̫͆ ̴͐͜g̸͇̺̕ô̸̟ ̵̡͇̝̎̄͐ẗ̴̘͇̺́̇o̵͎͚͝ ̶̮̿ť̸̻h̵̗͍͚̓̈́̄ě̷̟͌ ̷͍͚̖̄e̸̠̜̎͠n̶͇͒̀̉͜d̷̖̫͋̓ṡ̶͚̝̕ ̴̼͌o̷̡̩͕̓̋f̶̧̮̆̋̕ ̶̬̽t̶̯̄͗h̸͇̑̏̅e̴̯͎̋ ̴̧̛̹̙̐̓e̸̞̬̣͆̓̿å̶͖͋̓r̴̤͕͋t̷̛̻h̸͇̗͋̃ ̵̡͋t̴̹̀̔͜ͅo̴̩̒͠͠ ̸̹̱̰͒̋r̴͍̙̰̉e̶̪͚̬̓̎͂q̷͓͋̿c̷͔̰̥̍h̷̤̲͚͋̏̈ ̸̱̊t̵͎̋̆̇͜ẖ̵̣̥͗é̸̛̱i̶͚̯̖͒͋͝r̵̙͆ ̷͚̲̭̊ǧ̸̛͓̖̃ö̵͓́͝a̶̖̣̪͗̌̐l̷̞͗ͅͅ.̵̛̹̫͜ ̴̠̙̐̕͝Ȓ̸̩̈́e̷̮̦̮̾̽̊ģ̴̧̍̚a̷̰̠̕r̵̼̈́̚ď̷̢l̵̫̜̟̃ȩ̸̜̪͊̒š̴̳̟̲s̵̨̺̘̕ ̸̘̊͛͠ỏ̸̼͚͔̐͛f̴̡͇́̕ ̵̝̤̬͗͌ẅ̷́͜h̶̤̙͇̍ơ̸̦̘͜ ̴̗̠̙̄s̵͛͜͝t̸̬͐͝ǎ̸͙͔ṉ̷̤̩͗͝d̶̟͌́š̵̠͛ ̵͖̥̜͐͝i̴̳̿ṉ̶̻̑̌ ̷͓͒͌͋t̵̹̠̟̃̈́h̷̘͔̑̋ẹ̷̐̔į̶̼͂̐͜r̴̼̓ ̵̬̿ŵ̸̩̽̈ą̶̱̬̔͂y̶͍̐̀.̷̧̔́  
̷̺̥͒̉͝ ̶͔͕̏̎̎  
̶͎̱͎͗̓"̷̬̮͍̅̏N̸̝͓̻̓ǫ̶̳͙͐̂̽w̴̤̪̓̀͜ ̶̻̈̊̽Ā̸̧͎̄̇s̷͕̠̈́͂͝h̴̬̖͚͂͛.̶̗̾̈́̃ ̴̣̆͑Ǹ̵̜͜o̵̬̊͝w̸̬̒͆̄ ̷̖̪͑G̵̲̋͒ͅr̷̗͍̍̑e̶̖̖̼͘n̸̟͊̇ī̴̜̤ͅṅ̸̥j̷̱͍̘̏̽̑a̴̡̢͍̎.̷̝͕͙͌̆ ̷̼͖̭̇͒̄I̵͎̼͂'̷͕͔͊͋̕m̸͚͠ ̶̯̃̿ǎ̶̜̟͝l̸̛̩͖̟͋̆s̴̞͇̅̒͝ȍ̷̰̆ ̷̪̠̒̏g̴̡̎ô̵̜̒ỉ̸̗̎̿ǹ̷̼͓͉g̷̺̟͗͋̚ͅ ̷̘̭́t̶̮͔̗̃o̴͈̊̓͠ ̴̡̘̈́c̴̙̦͂͠ȏ̵̧͖n̴̫̜̿t̶̟̩̯͒͝͝r̸̡̟̔͜͝o̴̼̚͠͝l̴̜̱̜͆ ̶̱̲̓͑y̷̛̤̍̓ͅͅo̵̍͜͠u̴̩̍̇ͅr̷̨̛̛̭̦ ̵̭͚̌ḇ̵̢͆o̷̰͘͜n̶̰̉̈́̓ͅḓ̴́͜ ̵͔̏p̶̺͂͊̆ḧ̷̢̥͔̍̀ẹ̸͈͌n̷͉̠͘͝o̶͔̿m̶̩̳͎̑͝e̶̘͊n̶̫̎͆͒o̶̡͉̐̈́n̵͈̲̏.̷̙̊̋"̷͓̇͠ ̸͖̰̦̈́̈́̐Ň̸̩̚͝o̴̰͊̋͝!̴͈̆ ̷͉̰̞̚H̵͚́͝ê̷͎̺̋̏ ̷̹̔ḋ̷̫͑̈́ḯ̴̥̯̾d̶͈̔̃n̸̝̱̯̔̽'̶̬̗̄̓̊t̵̨̥͓͠ ̷͍͖̰͆̌w̸̻̋͂͝a̶̡̠̠̍ñ̷̼͚͋ͅṱ̸̾̎̋ ̵͖̾̐͝t̴͚̬͗͊h̸̢̩̙͑į̵̞̆s̵̱̎!̸̝̆͛̊!̸͎̣͇̄̾!̸̠̫̌!̷̟͂!̶̳̊̑̅ ̷͓̪̫̈̈́̚"̴̧͊̄͊F̷͕̊ŗ̴̟̥͗͑̆o̷̤̓̀m̵̹̈̌ ̵̺͖̉t̴̟̲͎͛͌h̸̫i̶̘͌s̶̬͒͌̚ ̶̖̓p̷̥̈̿̏o̵̮̤̔ī̴̭̹͚́͠n̴̳̙̪̾̉ṱ̸̃ ̷̪̕͘ỏ̶̟͛ṅ̵̙͛,̶̼̗̂̅ ̸͔́̈́̚b̴͙̆̋o̸̜͂̏͘͜ṭ̵̫̓̈͜͠h̴̻͍̻̕̚ ̶̉ͅo̴̙͓͌̋͒f̸̮̤͕͒ ̶̠͒̄͌y̶̯͐̉o̷͕̊ư̴̝ ̷̞͉w̵̨̖̔̉i̸͚͖͔͗l̷̥͋̚l̴̰͛̄ ̶̠͛̎̕͜ȃ̷̩͉̃͝n̸̤s̷̠̣̙w̷̜̕e̵̡̾͐ṛ̵̈͝ ̷̗̻̳̊t̷̮͖̼̃ǫ̶̤̘̚ ̷̼̾m̸̨̰̳̓̕ē̶̜̥.̶̩̻̿̽̔"̶̘̬͌̈́͂ ̵͕͇̮̅̏ ̸̩͊Ā̵̖̳̿ś̷̪h̵͖̼̘͊͗ ̵̰͉̈́͑f̸̳̻͑ơ̶̰̥̍̀ȗ̷̼g̸̤̋h̸͚͚̆ẗ̵̗̮̖̇̕,̸̠̏͐ ̸̺̪͌̌͜ḋ̴̛̲̯͉̊ĕ̴̲s̴̛̙̤̔̆ͅp̵͎͍̭̔í̷͕͈̃t̸̨̓e̵̫̽͘ ̷͖̅t̵͍̯͍̿͐h̵̦͈̀͜͝e̶͍̎͑ ̸̠̻̄͝ḇ̷̪̀u̴̫̻͌͝r̴̦̜̎͌̎͜n̴̆͜ḯ̸̺͘n̶͕͂g̸̲͕̯̓.̴̟̓̀ ̵̩̒͑D̴̬̍̇ę̵̧̘̑͂s̶̜̽̎p̶̻̑͆i̸͓t̵̖̼͔̆̎͝e̶̡̖͝ ̶̦̗̥̓̍̓t̶͉̥͂̈́̚h̵͎̱̿̿ͅë̷͉̘́̓̍ ̷̫͉̆͆͜p̸̧̐a̸͈͉͙͌̇i̴̯̩̓ṅ̴̟̫͠,̷̙̦̐ ̷̡̆ȟ̵͇͖̿e̵̘̊̎ ̵̗̀̚w̸̘̹̌o̸̪͒ṵ̵̄̇͂l̸̗̪͍͌d̶̡̲̠̈̒ṅ̵̹'̶̡̥̞̐̄t̴̻͍̆!̵̯̋!̸̞͚̆!̵͈̩̘̿!̴̬͕̏̈!̴̗̳̋̑!̵͉̤̬̓̑͠ ̴͇͍̙͒̔  
̷̤̪̫̓İ̴̳̕ẗ̵̩̮̖́ ̶̖̝̾̌͠ͅḩ̷̌u̷̟̫̽͛͒͜r̵̢̩̰̀̒̾t̵̹͓̰͐.̸͇͌͝ ̴̙͐̋͘Ḽ̷͇͍͊̀̕i̶͚̱͂k̶̭͌̑̕è̶̻ ̴̨̀m̴̥̯͙͂ỉ̵̟l̷̙͍͝ḻ̵͇̈́̌̚ĭ̷̜̦͠o̴̹̼n̸̘̞̰̓͝͝s̷͈͚͜͝o̷̭̓̀f̷̲̝̊͑̇ ̴͉͒͂p̵̖̍̕i̶̲͛n̵̳͊ ̵̼̽̈́̕͜p̵̦̐̾ṙ̴͈͈̣i̷̢͓̳͌̇̀c̵͓̙̏̈́k̸̛͉̱̿̎s̶̖͗̃̆ ̵̗͗̏̒o̴̱͛͐f̷̧̼̣̊̾͝ ̴̮̉f̸̪̜͇̃͘i̷͉͈̓͒r̷̹͖̤͑͋̋e̷̤͌̂̕ ̵͎͇̍i̷̱̲̻͋g̶̳̰̫͊͂̏n̷̮̥͝í̷̠̙͒ṱ̷̌̿̿͜i̸͎͔͝ṉ̵͚͕̈́̊͝g̵̢̞̈ ̵̮̐̊a̶͍͚̅̇͗t̸̻̄ ̴͙̥͛o̴̝̹̲͒n̵̯͗̓̈́c̸͎͓̺̽͗̕ĕ̷͕̙͆͑ ̵̨̼͇̈́a̷̢͛̑̿c̵̫̭̮̆̇r̵̟̹͑͒̚ö̸̬̩̺́͝s̵̨̹̕s̸̱̟͒ ̴̼͙̕h̸͕̖͙͊́̒i̸͇̝͕̇̈́s̷͙̊͐̽ ̴̺͇͈̋͊͂b̴̲͋͌̐o̷͙͚̟̒̎d̴͖̺̿y̶̰͉̮̌.̷̩̩̘̾́ ̴̥͔̜͋L̵̫̼̏̾i̶̼̘͉̎̎g̶̱͊h̶̼̿́t̵͚̟̓̂͘ͅn̸̨̜̤̓i̷͔̭͗͆͝n̴̹̺̕͠͠g̷̡͉̅s̶̰̼̀͘͠w̴͖̼͝ä̶̦̱̘͘͝m̶̹̬̾ ̷̩͔̍̈ĭ̵̭͌͜ń̴̡̙̲͝ ̴͈̳̼̒̒͝ȟ̷͕͖̬̿i̷̮͗s̸̗̃ ̶̨̭̙́͊v̴̛̤͇̫e̴͚̒i̴̝͊̽̃n̶̞͂̕̚ͅͅs̷̝̣̾̑.̸̝͂ ̸͍̬͈̋"̶̜͚͋͜ ̶̫̻͌́Y̸͖͍̤̿̀̌o̶̗͗̈́̊ṵ̴̈́̆̃ ̵̣̥̪͌̊s̶̨̜͌͐t̴̟̽́i̷̱͚̻͋l̷̜̖̤͠l̸̢̛̳̏ ̵̹̺͇̃f̷̢̦̓a̵̡͈̭̐i̷̜̭͛͘l̶̥͈̗͑ ̸̻͊t̷̞̱̲͠o̸͉̙̜̓ ̵̜͝ͅu̸͎̻̰̾̇n̵̨͝d̴̙̜̔͝ẹ̸̋r̶̰̜̾s̷͖̅̀̂t̸̘̆̕a̸̟͉̋̏̚n̴̫̂̏d̸̘̅̈́.̴͖͛͠ ̷̗͋̂O̶̲̎̚ń̴̗͈̑̓ͅc̵̠͆e̷̢̱͐͋ ̵̮̲̂̑t̴̟̖͊͝h̷͔̑e̵̬͙̦̋̉ ̵̨͕̿͠c̷̜͇͒ư̸̪̪̗͊ȓ̶̪̂̊r̷̼͒̊e̸̻͆̐͆n̵̛͈̐̈ṯ̷̤̲͂͌̂ ̵̲̈͐w̶̛͇͙͗͋ơ̷̢̹̏͒ͅr̵̥͚̼̀l̵͕̦̄̆d̵̰͝ ̵̮͂i̴̳̪̿̾͝s̸̯̗̊̾ ̸̡̏̏b̶̺̫̽̈́͛è̵̲̄̚c̶͔̫̦̈́̑o̶͖͒̐̃m̴͉͖̾̐̌͜e̴͉̮̔̎̚ͅs̷͔̙̑͋͜͝ ̵͕̖͌ä̵͉̪͎́ ̵̘͇͇̏̂̉t̶̳̲̥̋͆h̵̰̳̏̂̃͜į̴̺̂̽͝n̷͓͘g̶̣͈̙̀͛ ̸̛̩̈́͗o̸̬͕͌̈̚f̴̭̦̥͐̓̚ ̸̘͆̄͝t̸̙̜͋h̴̹̽̉è̶͉̹̎̏ ̴̺͉̭͐p̶͙̈́̈́̅ã̶͇̥̃š̵̨̮͕̆̉t̶̻̽,̶̢̼̈̾ ̸̱̉̚͘y̷̳̱͗͠͠ͅo̸̪̾͐̓u̸͓̎ ̴̛̬͎̍̏s̴̜̉̐h̷̲͙̒̏͠a̵̤͌͛͘l̸͖͉̇ĺ̸̰̄͜ ̵̪͛b̵͔͓͙̊́̓ě̴̘̱̩ ̵̩̜̭̈͌t̴͉͘h̶̝͆̿͋ȩ̷͖̹̔̚ ̵̰͙́̏̚g̸̗̬͈͒u̴̙͔͉̍i̷̮̅͋d̵̺̍̈́e̴̢͊͋͂ ̷͕͉͓͛f̷͉̊͝o̵͒̈̓ͅr̵̮͇͂ ̴̞͚̙́͊̈́t̷̞͠h̴̰̜͝ȩ̶͉̙͗̐͘ ̸̫̐C̶͖̓̓h̵̙̅o̷̹̖̬͒̃̏s̸̪͔̓ě̸̙̥̀̓n̴̮̰͒̌͋.̶͚̭͚́"̸͉͖̿ ̵̖̍  
̷̈ͅ

**_The world is Burning before him._ **

**_He's helpless to stop it._ **

**_People are screaming._ **

**_Crying._ **

**_Pleading to deaf ears._ **

**_Pain._ **

**_They are Suffering._ **

**_Fear._ **

**_Liquid fire filling his entire being. He doesn't think his heart can take it._ **

**_The cries of the world._ **

**_Suffering._ **

**_Threatening to consume him._ **

**_Red._ **

**_So much red._ **

**_It fills his vision._ **

**_It hurts._ **

**_It HuRtS!_ **

**_IT HURTS!!!!!_ **

**_I T H U R T S!!!!!!!!!_ **

**_Why isn't anyone helping him?!_ **

**_Pikachu!_ **

**_Noivern!_ **

**_Hawlucha!_ **

**_Talonflame!_ **

**_Goodra!_ **

**_Greninja!_ **

**_He loved this world. The people and pokemon in it were precious. All life was precious. It had meaning._ **

**_It should not be taken away._ **

**_Not like this._ **

* * *

Charizard looks away from Charla and glances off into the distance. He can feel the flames of his bond with Ash flickering. It wavers far more than it should have. The last time this happened, Charizard had been to far away to reach his trainer in time and had opted to wait his return in Pallet.

This time he knew his trainer was in Pallet last. He nodded to Charla who seemed to understand and then took off.

He beat his mighty wings and prayed to Ho-oh that he would be in time.

As he reaches Pallet his heart falls when he realizes that Ash is not here. He slams into the barn in his surprise, he pulls himself free. Then he roars, calling out to his friends, his partners and teammates. They come running, as do the humans. Charizard is panicked as he tells them of the danger. 

Bulbasaur tries to calm him, but in his agitated state it only serves to agitate him more. He is doused by water. Torrents and torrents of cold water, he bellows his rage.

Primed to fight, he builds flames deep in his belly, his gout full but the flames sputter as someone rushes into view with their hands up.

"Ash is in Alola!" Charizard freezes. Ash's friend, not friend, rival friend, kin, has his hands held up. Charizard faces him, crouches and blows smoke at him with a snarl.

"Char." He says flicking his head to his back, the boy nods and moves to climb onto his back when Ash's meema comes out. She has her hands clenched into her shirt, she stares at him. He can read her determination to help. To protect. Charizard won't deny her.

He will protect her, and together they will go to Ash. Charizard lowers himself further and she nods.

* * *

Delia buried her face in Gary's shoulder, the winds howling as they flew at a furious pace. The fear sitting at the bottom of her stomach was like a rock. Anger sat heavy in her chest as she tightened her grip. A hand briefly pat hers, but no words were uttered.

Delia was frightened, more than that though, she was furious. After the debacle Charizard had made in literally crashing into the barn in Professor Oak's ranch, she had been gripped tight with fear. Charizard bellows of rage as he called to Ash, Bulbasaur nearly failing to calm him. Gary paling as his Blastoise finally managed to subdue Charizard enough for them to talk with him.

The harried flight to Alola. All of it. All of it spurned her anger. She could careless about the bright morning sun of Pallet bleeding into the late afternoon of Alola. What mattered, was her son.

She hoarded that anger, kept it burning. She had promised her son, swore to him that there would be one less pokemon professor.

_"What if i trust the wrong person?" He asked in a hoarse whisper._

Charizard flew past the pokemon school. Past many trees and buildings until they were out at sea again. She did not question how charizard knew where her son was. Not when he always seemed to be right where he was needed.

She felt heat, a hand pressed against the back of her head and she ducked further behind Gary. A thunderous cracking noise then she could hear concrete and metal shrieking as it collided together.

Charizard beat his mighty wings, once, twice then they plunged straight down. A cacophonous roar hummed in her bones. She raised her head, Gary leapt off charizard's back and hit the ground rolling. He had two pokeballs in each hand, ready to throw them out at any second.

Delia slid down charizard's back, she glanced around. She looked up to see the sky, along with several holes in concrete and metal, wires sparking and hanging loose. A panel hit the ground and shattered, Delia looked down, stepping around Charizard. She offered his shoulder a fond and thankful pat.

Charizard huffed, then pointed his head a little ways away. Delia felt her heart in her throat. She could feel herself stumble, Charizard's claw grabbed hold of her arm to steady her, growling as he curled close.

"Ash?" She heard an exclamation coming from beside Charizard, Delia gently removed Charizard's claw as rage that had briefly sputtered at the sight of empty brown eyes, ignited. She was marching forward, someone keeping pace slightly behind her, a buzz in her ears. Pikachu, dear Pikachu, was crying as he held Ash's hand. Bayleef, and Scraggy were beside him, each trying to elicit some reaction.

Delia glanced away from her son. To the man who had promised to help him heal. Who had taken her son, to help another, who had also been hurt. And now? Her son was lying catatonic, in some undergrand lab?!

" _ **What. Happened. To. My. Son**_?" She bit out, she looked at the man, but did not see. She heard the man, but no words entered her ears.

"You promised me! And look where that promised landed us!!" She seethed, fingers curling into a tight fist. Her eyes burned, her vision shimmered and when she blinked to clear her vision, realization splashed on her like a splash of cold water.

Professor Kukui was crying.

He looked devastated as he gently cradled her son in his arms. Two other teenagers, wrapped around each other were also in tears. A hand gently wrapped around her wrist.

"I'm... I'm so sorry." he whispered, breaking down into sobs. Burying his face in Ash's hair, Pikachu lost it. All his pokemon did. Delia blinked, warmth creating liquid trails down her cheeks as Gary guided her towards Ash and helped her to the ground.

_His hand was so cold._

"What happened?" She asked brokenly, squeezing the small hand in hers. Remembering how warm they had been, when she had held them last. Has it really only been five months? Nearly half a year since she saw her son off at a crowded airport.

"Mew?" Delia raised the limp hand to her forehead, a nose prodded her temple. Delia tilted her head, looked at Mew and saw concern in those wise blue eyes.

"Ashy?" Gary called from behind her, but there was no response.

"Sorry!" Professor Kukui sobbed, shoulders heaving with each apology. Delia could see how much pain he was in, knew that Ash had drawn someone impossibly close to him. Drew him into his orbit, the way that he has always done.

She drew herself up. Drew on strength stored within her, strength that she had used for nearly a year when Ash had first come home from Kalos. Delia brushed away her tears, squeezed Ash's hand one last time, then leaned over and gently raised Professor Kukui's face.

She smiled, thumbing away tears.

"It's heavy right? The weight of being a parent, all alone?" She whispered gently, Professor Kukui shut his eyes. He bit his lip, offering her a single nod. "You aren't alone here, you aren't trapped in a corner without any hope. You still have people counting on you. My Ash is still counting on you." She could see disbelief in his eyes, she wouldn't let him feel doubt as she once had.

"You have done _so_ much for him. _So much_. I promise, he will be okay." Professor Kukui looked at her, wondering how she knew. "I know, because he is my son. And Ash Ketchum, is a reckless, brave boy with a heart too big for this world."

* * *

"Let's get Ash out of here. You still have two other kids to look after." Delia said, Gary took that as his cue, and called out his Umbreon, Skarmory and Arcanine. A man on the floor was slowly coming too, but a strange quadruped placed its claw on his back. Gary looked at the two teens behind him, the boy was curled around the girl, glaring at the man. 

"Bad guy?" Gary huffs, then pulls out a pair of handcuffs from his holster. When Lance had inducted him into the G-men, he hadn't expected to ever use that. Gary slapped the cuffs on the seedy looking man and hauled him to his feet, and marches him to his Arcanine who keeps watch of him while he is searched. His pokeballs are taken, pokemon returned and then put into a small pocket sized box. 

"I'll deal with you later, but for now, you're under arrest for assault of Champion Ash Ketchum. You will face Kanto justice." The man squawked something but fell silent as the quadruped leered at him. 

Gary eyed the man sitting cross legged on the wrecked floor. Kanto justice was notorious for being strict.

It still wasn't enough.

He turned his gaze away from the scum of the earth and looked at the baby pokemon dubbed Nebby. It was confused, near inconsolable as Pikachu tried to rock it to sleep.

Everywhere he looked he could see signs of a battle.

Of a struggle that had ended in failure.

"Let me try, Pikachu. There, there Nebby." The girl, Lillie whispered as she rocked the small cloud like pokemon. She was covered in bandages, a bruise on her cheek, one near her eye causing it to swell slightly and a split lip. 

He can see how hard she fought.

Gary glanced over at the Professor and saw mama patting his shoulder as he buried his face in his arms. Tea, long forgotten on the table.

Gary sighed, climbed to his feet and made his way over to Ash's room. He leaned against the door way and wrinkled his nose at the overpowering sweet scent.

Ash still remained unresponsive. 

"Ya better wake up soon Ashy. There's a lot of people waiting on you." Gary mutters, blinking back tears at the thought of Ash having to relive his trauma all over again.

He knows something happened that his traveling companions don't know about. They know something happened. But during the chaos, to cover more ground they split up. And now, Ash was changed.

Charizard huffs, head resting on Ash's legs, where he's been since Ash was lain down. He refused to move, even to eat after such a harrowing flight.

He didn't refuse food, so long as it was placed before him, and he wonders how much guilt Ash's pokemon carry.

Did they blame themselves as much as Gary, Brock and Misty did? Or did they suffer in silence like Gramps and his sometimes mama.

Pikachu slipped past him with Nebby in his arms. He carefully climbed into the bed and curled up around Nebby.

There was a tapping noise, Gary looked up to see the Guardian Deity of Mele Mele. Tapu Koko.

It descends into the room, a soft whirring noise draws his attention and he sees Hoopa appear with a worried frown. Stepping out of his portal...

"Mewtwo." The created legendary glares at him, it turns its attention to Ash and the rage softens.

 **"He should not have to suffer for the sins of man."** Gary swallows tightly, remembering countless times Ash had thrown himself into danger to protect legendary pokemon. 

"No, he shouldn't. But then he wouldn't be the Ash we know, if he didn't step in to help." Gary dries his eyes, leaving the room full of pokemon watching over his best friend. Right now, he was being protected by the most tenacious pokemon he's ever met.

No one would be able to lay a hand on him and get away with it.

* * *

Burnet can only stare helplessly as everything happens so fast. Lillie was badly hurt, Gladion was seething as he sent out Silvally. 

Kukui was diving forward, straight into the fray despite attacks being flung through the air as Ash begins to fall.

Then the worst possible thing happens. An ultra wormhole opens, and a Nihilego heads straight for Ash.

Straight for Ash who has yet to react to his surrounds, or the fact that he is free.

"No! Silvally!" Gladion cries out in panic as he tightens his hold on Lillie, Burnet is shocked when the metallic mask shatters with a roar as Silvally lunges at the ultra beast.

Burnet is pulled back, she sees Lusamine throw herself before her children as the Nihilego flies straight toward them. Gladion is curled over Lillie. 

Lusamine is cocooned by the Nihilego, Lillie reaches out, her brother leans forward with her.

"Mother!" They cry out, and then Lusamine is gone.

Faba chuckles. Burnet stands up, zeroes in on the man she worked with for years and feels rage and hurt.

"I did it. I actually did it!" Kukui is cradling Ash in his arms, hand on his cheek as he jostles him.

"Ash! Ash, you're safe!" Burnet didn't even notice she'd moved until she's pulling her arm back. She slams it into Faba's face, she hears a clicking noise and the man crumples to the floor. There is a throbbing in her fingers and knuckles but she pays it no mind as she looked to her right.

"Ash please!" Kukui sounds desperate, the pokemon all begin to gather around slowly, Bayleef uses sweet scent. Gladion helps Lillie limp over, she falls to her knees, unable to stand after a few minutes. Her body wracked with shivers, she's covered in bruises.

A mark of how hard she fought to protect Ash.

Ash's Lycanroc carries Snowy over, Lillie reaches forward and holds Lycanroc as tears run down her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry i couldn't help Ash." Burnet is stunned that she was hugging the canine pokemon, she hadn't been able to before. Gladion kneels down beside her, wraps his arms around her and rests his cheek on her head.

"I'm sorry i failed you two." He whispers, Pikachu shakes his head at them, smiles but the smile falters when Kukui begins to cry.

"Ash, please." 

Then there is a noise, faint at first before it gradually grows louder. The pokemon all assume fighting positions, Gladion hugs Lillie close, Kukui does the same with Ash and Burnet moves to shield the kids. 

She can hear the sound off concrete shattering, metal begins to buckle and warp then begins to brighten. 

Fire blasts through, a small stream at first before it expands. Ash's pokemon relax, resuming vigil of Ash.

A charizard dives in, two riders on its back, one diving off and rolling to his feet with two pokeballs in hand. The other slides off, steadied by charizard, is a woman with red hair. She surveys her surroundings, the hole they had created reveals the late afternoon sky, sparking wires. A panel of lights near the hole swing freely, one falls and shatters. 

The charizard growls as it holds her arm and faces Kukui and Ash. Burnet feels her heart in her throat as she feels fear.

"Ash?" The boy calls faintly, there is sorrow in his eyes.

The woman is marching forward, Kukui looks up at her. Remorse, shame and guilt flood his face.

Pikachu is holding Ash's hand, he is crying. Softly.

 _"Pikapi. Pika...pi."_ it tears at her, hearing the grief, seeing it.

The woman is furious, hands clenched tightly at her side.

" **What. Happened. To. My. Son**?" She bit out, the boy is behind her watching everything with an unreadable look.

"You promised me! And look where that promise landed us!" She seethes, Kukui is crying, shoulders shaking as he shakes his head.

"I'm... I'm so sorry!" He cries, burying his face in Ash's hair. The woman, Ash's mother, pauses and then deflates as her anger leaves her. The boy at her side, isn't that Gary Oak? Reaches over and gently guides her a few steps, helps her to the ground and then she can no longer see what is happening.

She can hear whispering, the woman is holding Kukui's face in her hands. Then she moves back, climbing to her feet and the boy, Gary, throws out three pokeballs. An umbreon, a skarmory, and an arcanine pop out, ready for battle.

Gary handcuffs Faba and marches him to his Arcanine who keeps watch of him while he is searched. His pokeballs are taken, pokemon returned and then put into a small pocket sized box. 

"I'll deal with you later, but for now, you're under arrest for assault of Champion Ash Ketchum. You will face Kanto justice." Burnet is stunned. Ash was a Champion? Faba was out of their jurisdiction now for assaulting a Champion. He would have to face justice for the Champion's home region.

Kanto justice was notorious for being harsh.

Lillie is approached by Gary who offers to carry her. Gladion glares, his expression shifting to concern as the pain finally catches up to Lillie and she faints.

"She's badly hurt." There is a nod, and Lillie is gently carried off.

* * *

"I know it seems hard right now. But you've done something for Ash that i could never do." Delia smiles, there is pain in her eyes but he can also see strength. 

"My son is my whole world, you can imagine how i felt when he came back from Kalos." Kukui looks at her, and he wonders, did Ash tell her? "But you've done so much for him that i could not." Delia takes a cup into her hands and stares at her reflection.

"You're strong enough to overcome this. You've done something for these children and Ash that no one else could." Delia looks at him, meets his eyes and nods her head over to Lillie. Lillie was hugging Silvally, Lycanroc and Umbreon. Despite her bruises, and the faint trembling that wracked her frame, she was happy. She had overcome a huge hurdle.

"You've shown them hope, and that just a little bit of that can make huge strides. Think about all the good you've done for them, don't linger on the mistakes." Delia pats his shoulder and sets about serving food for the pokemon.

Kukui shakes his head and presses his palms to his face. He was going to do better for them. They deserved more than him. Struggling on their own for so long, being strong by themselves because they didn't have anyone else to lean on.

Delia set tea down in front of him, but he was too ashamed to look at her. Even after her kind words, he couldn't help but feel like a failure.

Kukui was _supposed_ to be **somebody** they could turn to.

He had _promised_ to help them, **he'd _promised._**

And he'd failed them so badly.

His house was destroyed. Ash was catatonic. Gladion had broken down into tears, had spat vitriolic words at his mother, those words being the last thing he said to her. And Lillie.

He'd failed so badly. She was hurt.

Badly hurt. Bruised, battered and suffering from experiencing a full dose of thunder. She could touch pokemon, she showed no fear, and smiled...

But he can see her holding back tears.

It was supposed to be three days for the conference. They had finished early.

What would have happened if it had not finished?

His kids were attacked in their own home. He wouldn't be surprised if they didn't feel safe here anymore.

If they didn't feel safe with _him._

Gladion pulls out a chair and sits beside him, slumps over until his head is resting on Kukui's shoulder. A second later, Lillie does the same on the other side with a small sigh. He looks up, glances at them, they look exhausted. Kukui doesn't know how to express his faults to them.

"Kids..." he starts, then falters.

"I'm tired, but i don't want to go to sleep until i know Ash is okay." Gladion says, shifting so he leans more against Kukui.

"We know you'll keep us safe." Lillie tells him, hugging Snowy closer to her body.

"We know you'll keep us saf-" Gladion nods off midsentence, head dropping lower until Kukui shifts and wraps his arms around both his kids. He holds them close and thanks the gods that they still had faith in him.

They trusted him, despite the state his home was in, they still believed in his promise. 

He wasn't going to let them down again. He was going to make sure of it.

"I've got you. We're going to get through this together." Kukui leans back into his chair and feels some of his sorrow fade.

He was going to have to talk to Lillie and Gladion tomorrow, but for now, they were going to rest for the rest of the afternoon.

* * *

Gladion gasps, a hand is cradling the back of his head. His heart pounds wildly in his chest as he continues to gasp. He can't breathe.

Why can't he breathe?

Lillie!

Ash!

Silvally!!!!

There is air being blown in his face, large, calloused palms on his cheeks. Kukui is saying something, Gladion latches on his wrists and struggles to get enough air.

A hand is on his wrist, he can feel the terror fading. The ringing in his ear slowly fades, the gray at the edge of his vision recedes.

He sees Kukui, he is telling him to focus on him. His eyes flicker to the left, Lillie's bruised face is in view and she looks determined. He focuses on his sister, so brave and on Kukui, so kind.

He's exhausted, slumped against Kukui's shoulder as he shuts his eyes. He listens, his pokemon are standing by, Lillie is still keeping hold of his wrist but this time she is just holding his wrist.

"You're okay now." Gladion feels so tired. He shifts so that his cheek is pressed to Kukui's shoulder and gives Lillie a once over. She too, looks exhausted.

"Ash?" She shakes her head, looks down with guilt and he knows what she's thinking. He feels guilt too.

They worried for Ash, for being unable to protect him. 

But more importantly, they were also worried over mother. Mother who had no room in her heart for them but had shielded them despite his cruel words. Why were they worried over someone who had not been in their lives for over ten years?

Gladion shifts so that he is holding Lillie's hand, feelings her return the grip and then tugs her closer so that she is between him and Kukui.

They are safe here.

This family is made up of broken people, but together they are whole.

He was going to protect them and get stronger together with them.

He knows now, getting stronger alone hadn't been enough.

Four hearts were stronger than one.

* * *

Lillie wakes up, adrenaline flooding her veins and washing away her aches and pains. She looks up, Professor Kukui is looking at her with concern. She relaxes. She curls up, moves closer and looks at Snowy, her beautiful Snowy had battled hard. Had given her all, had been beaten just as badly as Lillie but refused to give up.

"I'm so proud of you Snowy. Thank you for giving it your all." Snowy yips at her, Lillie smooths down her fur and leans into Professor Kukui with a content sigh.

She can hear someone puttering around in the kitchen, someone is sitting in the livingroom, behind them. And then someone is approaching from outside. She tenses, shifts so that she can see the door. Professor Kukui turns and looks too, arms curling over both her and her brother.

It's Burnet, she's leading Officer Jenny in.

Terror floods her veins like ice water and brother sits up holding his chest as he struggles to breathe.

"Gladion, breathe with me. I've got you." Professor Kukui is holding the back of Gladion's head as he moves one of his hands to his chest and breathes. But there is so much fear, he looks around, eyes never staying in one place for too long. Professor Kukui holds brother's face between his palms and blows air into his face and tells him to follow along. To focus on him.

Lillie's grabbing hold of her brother's wrist and focusing on the calm that she feels. His terror drains, he slumps forward, exhausted. He turns to face her, sees that she too is exhausted and pulls on her wrist until she is sandwiched between them.

Professor Kukui holds the both of them as they tell Officer Jenny everything.

Even when both of them are crying, no one interrupts and Lillie knows that despite the day they've experienced, they will be okay.

Professor Kukui doesn't make them eat when they decline dinner.

Lillie is given some pain medication as well as anti inflammatory medications. 

"I want to sleep in Ash's room." Lillie and Gladion say in complete synch as Kukui made to usher them to the guest room to sleep.

"Okay. I'll put down some sleeping bags." Lillie is carried to the room by her brother. Ash is still sleeping.

His pokemon continue to keep vigil.

Lillie wakes up tucked against her brother, his arms wrapped around her in a loose hug. She looks up, he glances down at her.

"Did i wake you?" He asks, Silvally raises his head and looks at her. 

"No." Lillie denies, she looks around and sees the Guardian Deities are sleeping in Ash's room. She turns slightly and sees that Ash is still sleeping. Though she wonders if she can call it sleep when he barely feels there.

It's like he's retreated far away from all the pain and fear.

She feels guilt. Both hers and her brother's. She breathes. Pushes back the feelings that are not hers.

"She saved us." Gladion whispers. "After telling her the truth, she still protected us." 

"She wasn't in our lives for so long. I don't feel anything for her, not like how i feel for Professor Kukui..." Lillie confessed into the quiet night. A hand comes to rest on the back of her head.

"I've missed the both of you _so_ much. But i _knew,_ when i came home, it would only be to one person. She had no room in her heart for us." He swallows, a sob catches in his throat. "There was no room in her heart because we were still there." Lillie feels pressure on her legs, it vanishes around her hips when brother shifts. 

"Scrag." Scraggy is on Gladion's chest. He uses Leer and abruptly headbutts the both of them. He lifts his pants, walks over the both of them and makes his way over to Ash. Lycanroc gives him a lift onto the bed and then Scraggy vanishes into the bundle of pokemon.

Lillie begins to giggle when her brother snorts.

"That's probably his way of telling us to stop moping." 

Gladion and Lillie move their sleeping bags closer to Ash's bed, amongst his pokemon and join them in their vigil.

Slowly, the starry sky begins to fade. Changing to purple, softening shades until the sky is fairy pink. Lillie and her brother remain silent through it all. Professor Kukui joins them when the sky is a light purple. 

Ash's mother arrives when the sky is pink, a Mr. Mime at her side.

When the sky is orange, Gary Oak slips into the room and makes his way to the shelves, grabs a book and plants himself at the desk.

As the orange sky begins to fade, Professor Burnet joins them, carrying a tray with drinks for them all. Lillie accepts the proffered drink and the pills and takes them without a word.

Nebby refuses to budge from where he lays on Ash's chest. Pikachu can't get him to eat, Nebby sleeps. He sleeps like Ash does.

This is how they spend the day.

Waiting.

Watching.

Praying.

And still Ash sleeps.

Nebby dreams with him. She can tell. Its like a link has formed between them. She hopes Nebby can pull Ash out from where he's retreated.

But for now, all they can do is wait.

Professor Kukui takes the time to tell them both individually and together that are not at fault for anything. That they were taken by surprise and hurt by someone who was supposed to be a subordinate of their mother but that did not mean that people were untrustworthy.

 _"I'm here, and I'm always going to be here."_

With the sun high in the sky, they all finally take breaks from their vigil. Food is brought in, showers are taken. 

Lillie falls asleep against various people and pokemon throughout the day. Each time she opens her eyes, brother and Professor Kukui are within arms reach.

The sunsets beyond the horizon, her wounds are nearly healed. Tapu Lele had graciously sprinkled her with healing dust, the Guardian was focused on watching Ash. Lillie thanked the Guardian for the minor healing. She still aches, and her bruises are now in various shades, but she is thankful.

She knows that it hurt her family to see her this way. 

But Lillie was strong. 

She was going to do everything she could to protect her family.

"Goodnight kids." Lillie nods, settling into her sleeping bag with Snowy. Brother rests his hand on her head and then quietly slips out of the room with only his Lycanroc. 

She knows he is going to Anakala.

She wonders if there is something he can do. Any advice he could offer. Ultimately, the decision to wake up, lies with Ash.

 **"You are correct in your thinking. Ash will not remain this way for long, not when he knows there are people waiting on him."** Lillie peers up at the unknown pokemon that has taken up residence at the top of Ash's bookshelf. Mew rarely strays from that pokemon's side.

**"Be at peace, he no longer dreams of past trauma."**

"I'm glad. He doesn't deserve pain like this." Lillie closes her eyes and rests.

She wakes up, brother is sitting at the edge of Ash's bed with a book. He glances at her as if sensing her stare and makes his way to her.

"He said it was all up to Ash, but to let him know we were still here." He sighs softly, and lays down on the floor. Hands resting on his stomach as he looks at the ceiling.

"Whatever he experienced at that region, i don't like the implications." Lillie turns onto her side and nods in silent agreement.

She extends her blanket, he accepts it and turns to his side. He uses his arm as a pillow and they lay in silence. 

"Ash will wake up, and when he does, we're going to make sure he knows it will not be like before." He promises, his eyes glint in the moons rays that peek into the room.

He's right. 

They will make sure Ash knows he is not alone.

He has family here.

The next morning, they once more gather in Ash's room.

A strong silver blue light overtakes Nebby. There is silence as they all rise to their feet and watch.

Nebby shrinks and shrinks until a chrysalis is left sitting on Ash's chest.

"Could this be... an evolution?" Burnet asks, curious as Rotom scans Nebby and spazzes out when he can find no information.

No one moves for the longest, and Lillie can feel the tension in the room. The nervous energy running through her. She feels restless and anxious. 

There has to be something she could do. No, she knows there is something she can do.

She hates this helplessness.

She's brave. She's proven that to herself.

She's decided.

Lillie stands, grabbing everyone's attention, brother meets her eyes and smiles as he rises to his feet.

"We're going to get her back." They say, Kukui looks at them and though he is worried, he looks proud of them.

"You kids aren't going alone." Ash's mom says, rising to her feet as she reaches over and rests her hand on Charizard's snout.

"Charizard, will you lend me your strength?" Charizard gazes at her, his eyes flicker to Ash before he sighs and rises.

"Char." Gary Oak shifts, setting a journal on his lap, staring at them with an unreadable look that melts into a smile.

"Well, let's start planning this." He says, looking to Professor Burnet and Professor Kukui.

Professor Burnet and Gladion take over and explain all that they know.

The altar of the Sunne on Poni island.

The ultra beasts and their designations, what they can do.

The legends around them and what they had done to the people of Alola once upon a time.

The legendary Solgaleo, who tore a hole in the sky and put a stop to the fighting between the Guardian Deities and the Ultra Beasts.

That there, on the altar of the Sunne, they could plead to Solgaleo to help them.

* * *

Delia looks at the two fair haired siblings as they pack a bag each with supplies. She looks to Mimey, who is using psychic to feed Ash while Professor Kukui gathers medical supplies for the kids.

He speaks with them, quietly in the corner. They nod, throw their arms around his waist and cling tightly to him. The other Professor cames up to their side, says something and is pulled into the hug as well.

Delia knows it's hard to be left behind. Watching your kids go out into danger, her son is safe even if he is hurting again. For this reason she decided to accompany these kids, because she trusts Professor Kukui to watch over her son.

"I'll look after them." Delia tells him, hand on his arm. 

"And I'll watch after Ash." He tells her, hand on her shoulder.

Delia nods and checks in on her son one more time. She brushes his hair from his face, smiles and pinches his cheek but he remains unresponsive. 

She keeps in her pain. She uses that to fuel her determination and presses her lips to his forehead. Her son was strong. And so very brave.

She would return to him. And if she didn't, she knows that he will follow her. 

Delia accepts Gary's hand and gets pulled onto Charizard's back. Tapu Koko, Tapu Bulu are carrying Gladion, Lillie and Burnet.

Delia faces forward, watching the sea below. She can see shadows flitting below the surface of the vast sea.

She uses her grief and sorrow to fuel her rage. She was going to protect these kids because their mother had failed them. Had hurt them for so long and saved them only to crush them with pain.

Delia was going to show them just where Ash got his unorthodox skills from.


	19. I Know You’re Scared, That Fear We Share, But We Gotta Live Our Lives. You’re Not Alone, So Keep On Smiling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: let it out- fma ending amalee cover

"Both of you stay safe, keep eachother safe. I will come when i can." Kukui says as he holds them close. Lillie and Gladion meet each other's eyes and nod, hugging the older man. Burnet is easily accepted into their hug.

He quietly goes over what he has available for them to take, potions and first aid supplies. Once they've got everything packed away, Gladion spots a shopping bag that had tumbled onto the floor.

He rights it, and then stills. Inside are three galaxy hoodies that they had bought before all of this happened. Literal hours before, and now, they were all a little more broken than when they had bought them. 

"I'm going to wear it. We bought these with Ash, it's our bond, and... it's not very logical, but maybe if we wear them... Ash will feel that we are with him too." Gladion smiles and pulls off his hoodie, and quickly slips on the new one. Lillie is staring at his arms, she smiles at him and slips on her hoodie.

"We are brave."

  


  


Gladion took a look at Lillie's fading bruises, and at the determined look on her face. He knows how stubborn she can be, that is not something that has changed. She is strong, stronger that when they were children and he knows she will accomplish what she sets her mind to.

Tapu Koko, Tapu Bulu, and Charizard carried them straight to Poni Island. Gladion knew they could have just flown straight to the altar, but meeting Solgaleo was their goal.

And to do that, they had to prove themselves worthy.

So they walked through the vast Poni Canyon, they cautiously entered the ancient ruins. Ash's mother, walked behind them, hovering without making them feel incapable. Burnet walked ahead of them, Munchlax at her side as they carefully moved through the ruins. Gary is a silent presence beside Ash's mother. Watching everything and everyone but her, with a shrew narrowed gaze.

"Be careful, it doesn't seem structurally sound. Any stray attack could cause a collapse." They nodded and follow her lead.

Just when they reached the center of the ruins, shadows began to move.

It was a herd Jangmo-o and Hakamo-o. And they looked furious.

"Gladion, Lillie. We'll support you." Ash's mom and Burnet said after sharing a look. Gary raises a pokeball but doesn't call out a pokemon. He simply watches, somehow, this scrutiny feels like a test.

"I will also support you brother, Snowy come on out." Gladion nods at them, and calls out Lycanroc, Umbreon and Silvally. He quickly takes in their surroundings, the exit behind the furious pokemon, and the people trusting him and ready to step in when he needs help.

"Lycanroc use stone edge to reinforce the walls! Umbreon dark pulse and Silvally air strike! Don't give them the chance to move!" Gladion searches for a viable option that would lead them all to safety. Burnet is muttering to herself, edging forward until she is a step to his right.

"Pincer move, they'll create an opening themselves and we can exploit that." Gary says, twirling the pokeball in his hand.

"Munchlax, ice punch to floor, Lillie have snowy use powder snow on the ground!" She shouts and Gladion can see what she sees, what Gary is talking about. The small, minute openings that happen when the Jangmo-o and Hakamo-o dodge away from the dark pulse and air strikes.

"Then Charizard, you use steel wing and beat your mighty wings as hard as you can to help us propel forward!" Charizard roars his approval and one by one they take up runner's position. The ground rumbles ominously, Gladion glances at his Lycanroc as a spike of panic flashes across his face against his will. Lycanroc shakes his head, ears twitching before he growls and suddenly a wall comes crumbling down.

It was Kommo-o, and it was not pleased to see them in it's territory. It grew even more enraged when it saw the Jangmo-o and the Hakamo-o being attacked. It roared, the sound a cacophony of noise that he could feel humming in his bones. Lillie winced beside him.

"Silvally crush claw!" The attack was useless, a minor inconvenience to the Kommo-o at best. 

"Charizard steel wing into rapid spin!" Gladion watched as Charizard took off, wings taking on a silver sheen as he began to spin. A silver tornado struck Kommo-o, and actually pushed the larger pokemon back. There was very little time to admire the sight before a hand was on his back. And with no warning, he was pushed forward, he hit the floor, and suddenly he was propeling forward on his belly.

"Snowy, powder snow!" Lillie is sliding beside him, Snowy running ahead of them and keeping their path clear.

"Brother, Kommo-o is a fighting dragon type. Snowy can help! Just tell us what to do!" Lillie says as their ice path ends a small distance behind the enraged Kommo-o. Gladion looks to Charizard, doing his best to minimize damage to their surrounding and keep Burnet and Ash's mother safe. He looks to Lycanroc, continuously using stone edge to catch the crumbling foundation.

"Have Snowy use hail, Silvally accept this memory!" As Gladion tosses the memory disk, he sees Burnet and Ash's mother look to him, and as one they order their pokemon to take on the Jangmo-o and Hakamo-o. Beating back both pokemon from causing a cave in.

Munchlax fought with ice punch and Charizard continue to use steel wing against Kommo-o while Mr. Mime used reflect and psychic in tandem with focus punch.

"The armor of the fairy clad in light will not be pierced by the dragon's claws, the fairy's blade will shatter the dragon's scales! Silvally, use multi attack!" Silvally glowed a brilliant fairy pink as he charged Kommo-o. 

"Now!" Gladion shouted as the path opened up.

"Mimey! Use psychic!" Gary shouts as he throws himself forward, labcoat flapping behind him as he drops to the ground and slides. Mr. Mime used psychic and launched Ash's mother and Burnet straight across the ice. He and Munchlax followed next and then Kommo-o crashed into the wall. There was an ominous rumble, Ash's mother didn't hesitate. 

"Mimey use psychic and reflect to protect these pokemon's home!" She commands, Gary wastes no time and calls out his Umbreon.

"Reflect! Psychic!" His umbreon works in synch with Mr. Mime, and Gladion sees how Ash came to be the person he was today.

"Lycanroc, use stone edge to repair as much of the walls as you can." The furious pokemon, have calmed. The anger in their hearts has faded, they back away back into their home, Ash's mom bids them farewell.

"The altar is this way." Burnet leads them on, Gary bends down and scoops his Umbreon into his arms, he and Ash's mother hold a whispered conversation. 

Gary seems exasperated as he recalls his pokemon but nods and rolls up his sleeves.

"Anything for you mama." She giggles and lightly smacks his shoulder.

Gary makes his way to the altar and stares up at the symbols. He looks at the symbol on the floor before him with contemplation. 

"It was never about Solgaleo coming to us or us summoning him." Gary huffs, he moves forward and rests his hand on an altar.

"This is that dream then." Gladion tilts his head, he can barely make out his expression, but it looks like grief. He laughs, and it's not a happy sound.

"He really can't catch a break can he?" He says nothing else and leans back against the altar.

Gladion searches around, trying to figure out what he meant. The Guardian Deities that had accompanied them, simply observed them. Watching.

Waiting.

Their gaze fixed on the horizon.

And suddenly, he understood.

Ash was God Blessed, a wielder of Aura. 

Nebby, the unknown pokemon.

He was right. Ash just couldn't catch a break.

  


  


* * *

  


Kukui sits at Ash's bedside and worries. 

He worries for Ash, who was so afraid he became catatonic.

He worries for Lillie, who despite being badly injured, had continued to fight for Ash and then overcame her fears. 

He worries for Gladion, whose fragile strength was shattered violently. 

He worries for Gladion and Lillie, who've left to save their mother. The mother who turned a blind eye to them, leaving them to fend for themselves.

He worries for Burnet, who has come back into his life and now stands a chance of not coming back.

"Wake up soon Ash, you're safe here." Kukui holds Ash's limp hand in both of his and looks at the small scars and burns. Most of them nearly invisible despite their sizes.

So much suffering for one so young.

Had he ever been this small?

Had he ever looked at the world, the way his kids do? With mistrust, and fear?

How was he going to protect Ash, if he was unable to bear his touch again? It would hurt him to have all his progress undone.

It would hurt all of them.

"Please wake up Ash." Kukui pleads, raising Ash's hand to his forehead.

"I'm here, I'm here now, and i won't let you get hurt anymore." Kukui can't stop the tears this time. 

So he sits at Ash's bedside, holding his hand, crying in his ruined house. A house that was built for his family.

Where they smiled, and laughed, and healed.

 **"Ash is stubborn, he is resilient, above all, he is brave."** Kukui looks at the pokemon that has yet to be identified, Rotom had not understood how this pokemon had come to be. But this pokemon and Silvally had instantly bonded.

 **"You've wallowed enough, get up and begin to repair your home. Then you can prove that you are going to protect Ash."** Kukui looks at the pokemon, nods his head and wipes his tears. Right. He was going to move forward, he was going to start by fixing their home. He wasn't going to cover up the damage, he would repair it. Make something new from it.

  


This is how Kukui spends the next two hours.

His students drop by, having all left school before it could begin.

"Professor! We heard about what happened!" Kukui wipes the sweat from his face with the back of his arm and sets down the sanding paper.

"Kids? Aren't you supposed to be in school?" Mallow looks slightly guilty, Kiawe winces, Sophocles shrugs and Lana shows no remorse.

"Are Ash and Lillie okay?" She asks him, Kukui feels as if his heart has stopped beating as he remembers the sight of Gladion curled up on the floor, his tears. Catching Lillie, seeing her battered and bruised state. Seeing Ash being held in a psychic grip, completely checked out and unresponsive when Kukui caught him.

"Lillie is doing better today." Kukui starts, the kids heave relieved sighs, but Lana does not budge from her pointed staring. 

"And Ash?" She asks pointedly eyeing the repairs.

"He-" his voice catches, there is a nudge behind him and he clears his throat. "He was hurt... in a way that reminded him of certain events..." Kukui swallows dryly as he suddenly finds his mouth dry.

"He hasn't woken up." The words sit heavy in his chest, the relieved joy the kids wear, falls as they stare.

Kukui wants to snatch his words back, but they have as much right to know what is going on as anyone else.

"Come on kids, busy hands, make something something." Kukui always gets the quote wrong, all regions have their own saying and that always threw him off.

The kids look at the ruins of his livingroom, the mess that is Lillie's room, the barely touched kitchen, the hallway that has one working light and dented walls.

They shuffle forward and grab paint brushes, sand paper, wood, and the measuring tape.

They spend the next hour working in silence, aside from questions about where to put this or what to do about that. It's a testament to his kids strengths that it had taken a cheap trick to get them all.

The large unknown pokemon uses psychic to remove all the broken wood from the house and piles it neatly outside.

With the extra hands, they finish by noon.

It almost looks as if nothing has happened, but Kukui wouldn't just erase all the evidence of this event. It seemed wrong somehow. He rests his hand on the wall before the hallway, and smiles to himself. His house was all healed up, it has seen so much and still stands. He knows he and his kids will be alright too.

  


Mallow takes over his kitchen and they all begin to help her cook. While they cook, he tells them what happened.

Slowly. He begins from the beginning. 

Going to his conference and coming home early.

Getting the call from Burnet.

Being teleported by Nebby and arriving home to see destruction everywhere. Lillie, Ash and Mew were gone. And Gladion. 

He briefly explains what Gladion had told them. He leaves out his breakdown.

He tells them about going to Aether, catching Lillie, Ash experiencing trauma and then Lusamine being abducted by some... ultra beast.

"Is that where Lillie and Gladion are?" Kiawe asks, passing bowls to Mallow who serves them.

"Yes. Burnet, Gary Oak and Ash's mom went with them." Kukui takes a plate in his hands and makes his way to Ash's room.

"I'll be back, let me get Ash taken care of-" Kukui feels the plate slip out of his hands.

It crashes to the floor and shatters. His shins and shoes are covered in hot liquid soup.

But none of that matters.

Ash was sitting up.

He was sitting up, looking at the larger Mew like pokemon and Kukui was overjoyed.

He was so overjoyed, that he forgot that the past day's events would have repercussions.

You don't go through something like that and get out unscathed. 

He knew, he _knew_ that and yet, he rushed forward to embrace Ash. _He thought for a second that everything would be fine when Ash fell limp against him._

_He was wrong._

He was pulled back by an external force, Pikachu was growling at him with his paws outstretched as if to hide Ash from view. And Ash.

Ash was looking at his hands, shaking as he raised his knees to his chest and looked at Kukui. He looked without _meeting_ his eyes.

 _"Don't touch me."_ He whispered in a painfully small voice.

There is a second, where all he can hear is a roaring in his ears. He swallows back his despair, and offers Ash a smile.

He smiles, because Ash has had his whole world turned on it's side and he will not allow him to be as lost and alone as he had been when they first met.

"I'm glad to see you up." He says, his feet now touching the ground, the grip gone and his students crowd the door. Ash lets out a stuttered breath, his eyes shutting as he holds Nebby in his hands.

"Why?" He let out a shuddered sob, and then broke down completely. Kukui wonders, if this is how it feels to have your heart break. His pokemon crowd him, they comfort him, and all Kukui can do is keep his distance.

He can only listen to Ash cry, and shove his hands into his pockets to avoid the urge to reach out.

_"I'm not. I'm **not,** scared, Pikachu." Ash's voice shakes, he can hear him sniff and then Pikachu talks. Ash lets out a hurt sound, it tears at Kukui's heart, but he forces himself to remain where he was, back pressed to the hallway wall._

_"It burns. It **burns** and it won't stop." Pikachu sounds near tears as he talks, Rowlet coos, Rockruff lets out a small yip and Litten begins to purr._

_"I hurt him, I made him hurt, and all he did was grab my hands." He hears a stuttered gasp, followed by a whine._

_"I never wanted to hurt anyone the way I'd hurt mama." Kukui slowly backs away, and heads to his room. He leaves the door open, afraid and worries for Ash. Those screams had chilled him to the core, and he was helpless to offer any comfort._

_All he could do._

_Was watch from afar, and make sure that Ash knew, Kukui would not hurt him._

"I'm right here Ash, I'm not going anywhere." Kukui promised softly, turning to his students and seeing the looks of sorrow on their faces.

They silently left the room, he sat down on the floor and simply waited for the tears to end. He waited, because he knows patience like this. Has practiced with the long silences full of fear and mistrust.

He is used to keeping his distance, keeping his hands in his pockets, and staying silent and unobtrusively _there._

"Are they okay?" Ash whispers hoarsely, his breathing stuttered after the emotional drain. 

"They are doing better, but there mother was taken." Ash cradles Nebby to his chest, exhaling shakily.

 _"I know everything, Nebby shared it all."_ He whispers and Kukui winces. Right, aura.

"Then you know, they went to go retrieve her." Ash raises his shirt to his face and scrubs it clean. He tosses the blanket off, slips on his shoes and grabs his hat. Kukui leans forward in alarm, then stills when Ash spins around abruptly.

His terror is palpable as he hugs Nebby closer. Kukui slouches back, smiles, because Ash is hurting and lost.

Ash has a look of deep regret on his face. Shame colors his face as he looks down, hat hiding his face from view. Kukui breathes slowly, past the lump in his throat. And when he feels that he can speak without breaking down into tears, he speaks.

"You're okay, you're okay Ash. I'm still here, I'm not going anywhere." Ash bites his lip, raises his head a little but does not meet his gaze.

"I'm going." Kukui is proud but more than that he worries.

"I know you are, you're never one to leave someone in need." Ash tentatively smiles in his directions, posture loosening. Pikachu watches Kukui, no longer with mistrust as he had in the beginning, but with sorrow and warning in his eyes.

"Are you alright with me accompanying you?" Ash looks to Nebby, to Scraggy who holds up his arms and is instantly picked up, then to the large unknown pokemon. 

Ash looks down, one hand going to rub his arm while the other securely held Nebby and Scraggy.

 **"If you agree to keep your distance, you may follow."** Kukui agrees instantly.

"We're coming too!" Mallow says, Kukui turns to see his students standing in the doorway. Every single one of them wore looks of determination. Kukui thinks about the students who went out of their way to help Lillie then Ash, deal with their fears. Helped them when they were overwhelmed and befriended the two lonely kids.

"Ash?" Ash is looking at them, he still won't meet anyone's eyes, but there is a tremulous smile on his face.

"Here in Alola..." Ash sounds like he wants to cry again. "You share everything, even families." His laugh sounds like a barely contained sob, his pokemon lean towards him the way a sunflower leans for the sun.

"We should hurry." Ash says as he begins returning his pokemon to their pokeballs, aside from Pikachu and Scraggy. 

Tapu Lele, Tapu Fini, Mew and the Unknown pokemon face them then head outside, via the skyline in Ash's bedroom.

"Alright kids, i have some supplies that we can bring, lets go pack that up and head outside." Kukui says, keeping his hands in his pocket as he slowly climbs to his feet and walks backwards out of the room. Again, there is shame coloring Ash's cheeks.

So when Kukui is sure his students have retreated he calls to Ash.

"There is no shame in being afraid. You've been hurt, and it's okay. It's okay because i know you have the strength to overcome this, just like before." Ash doesn't say anything, he doesn't glance his way, but Pikachu looks at him with gratitude. 

Kukui knows that Ash will be okay, because he is not alone.

He has friends. He has his pokemon. And he has all of his family to stand at his side.

  


* * *

  


Ash can feel warmth from Kukui-hakase. It's all consuming and it feels safe. Ash knows he is safe, he has no trouble believing that. But the second he had been pulled into an embrace, one that he had gladly accepted when Kukui-hakase went to his convention, his heart stopped. 

He collapsed against him, helpless to stop the fear that crawled up his throat. The way his skin itched, then _burned_ as if he had been set on fire.

~~_Stop it! Don't touch me! DON'T **TOUCH** ME!!!! IT **BURNS!!!!** MAKEIT **STOP!** SOMEONEMAKEIT **STOP!!!!!STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!**_ ~~

~~~~And then, the suffocating heat was yanked away from him, a tail pressed against his arms, and then there was a growl. So furious, the origin nearly unrecognizable to him. He raised his knees to his chest, the pressure of something on his lap catching his attention. It was Nebby.

The huge concentration of aura, the memories that played in his mind as he awoke made sense. Mewtwo informing him of what had gone on while he slept.

  


~~_Slept, as if he hadn't abandoned Lillie to the mercy of Faba and his pokemon. Slept, as if he hadn't been fast enough to stop Gladion from feeling the crushing realization, that strength was merely an illusion to cover the weakness you had. Slept, as if he hadn't just run away from his problems._~~

  


He had been getting better. He could hug so many people. Had felt comfortable enough to sit near Burnet-hakase when they shared a meal or watched movies.

"Why?" He asked himself. Why was he so weak? How did he allow this to happen? He'd been getting better! And now?

It was worse than ever.

So _much_ worse.

He couldn't stop the tears even if he wanted to. Kukui-hakase was hurting. He was hurting and worried and so were the others. But Kukui-hakase had hope in his heart, whereas Ash only felt despair.

 ** ~~"Ash."~~** Mewtwo's voice called to him, reaching out to him in his ever growing despair. ~~**"I will help you, as you once helped me. Because we are friends."**~~ Mewtwo, angry at humans, full of hate and despair at the world for being created and unable to find peace as he felt he had no place in the world, was reaching out to him. If Mewtwo could reach out to Ash, after everything he has suffered, then so could Ash.

Because Ash was stubborn, and stupid, and above all, Ash never left his friends behind when they needed him. Even when he was afraid. Even when each touch had burned. He forced himself to face them, reach out to them, and grabbed hold of his fear to push it back.

He would not be beaten by this fear.

He would not be chained by it.

So Ash prepared to go. Even when his fear ratched up at the perceived threat, that was not there, and despite his shame, Ash readied himself.

Kukui-hakase believed in him.

He knows that Ash is afraid and doesn't hold it against him. He believes in Ash, and because of that, Ash knows he will be okay. Because it wasn't just Kukui-hakase that believed in him. Lillie, Gladion, Burnet-hakase, Brock, Misty, Sam, Gary, Clemont, Bonnie, Mama and his pokemon believed in him too.

He believes in himself too. Because he was brave.

He was only human. He could bleed when he was hurt. He could fall apart after being built up. He could break down. But he would rise up stronger.

He _could_ do this.

He would do this.

  


  


Reaching Poni Island was rather quick with the help of the legendaries aiding them. Mewtwo leads them straight to his Charizard, straight to his family.

Kukui-hakase's Braviary carries both him and Lana. Mallow is carried by Tapu Lele and Kiawe by Tapu Fini. Mew handles Sophocles by having transformed into a Metang. Ash sits in Mewtwo's arms as he watches the landscape flash by.

Ash _feels_ the Altar of the Sunne before he sees it. Age old, and embedded with aura of people and pokemon, past and present. 

It saturates the air, tingling with history.

As they reach the top of the alter, they find the others. They were spread out on the altar of the Sunne, searching for clues to Solgaleo. Ash remembers his dream with vivid clarity, Nebby sleeps in his palm, and dreams. He remembers standing here, at the altar of the Sunne with the two pokemon Solgaleo and Lunala.

He knows this is Nebby's purpose. To return back to where he came from, as a fully evolved legendary. Ash had done his part, now he would have to let go of the baby he had raised and watched. It was time Nebby went home.

Mewtwo glances at him, and closes his mind's eye on the conversation Ash shares with Nebby through their linked aura. Scraggy and Pikachu reach out and pet the chrysalis as if sensing the impending departure.

They land, eyes on him, and despite his heart pounding in his chest and his lungs seizing, he smiles.

They each run towards him from separate corners, he stays at Mewtwo's side.

They slowly come to a stop before him, realization slowly dawning in their eyes.

He can feel the crushing defeat and horror in them.

Ash knows he used to be able to stand closer than this to Gladion.

He knows he has held Lillie's hand many times before.

His skin prickles, mama is smiling at him with relief in her eyes. She reaches for him, he remembers how she cried when he'd flinched away from her. 

Her arms wrap around him.

And he _burns._

Despite this, he reaches up, loosely embraces her, there is a roaring in his ears. There is static filling his thoughts. Pikachu nudges his temple, distracting mama into pulling away from him. Ash shows them Nebby. 

"It's time for Nebby to go home now." 

The Guardian Deities nod to him, and Ash slowly moves to where he once stood, in a dream, and gently releases Nebby. His fingers linger for a second before he steps back. Each Deity floats above a podium, and suddenly everyone can see Ash's memories. 

They see his dream, the promise he made, his meeting and then they see the part that the Guardians played. He can feel the aura that saturates the alter come alive. Lillie gasps behind him.

The Guardian Deities gather the aura and channel it into the alter, the aura manifests, being drawn into the paths created. A symbol of the sun opens, aura gathered into it with a blazing intensity, a single beam is fired at Nebby.

Ash feels Nebby's last dream, it's them. All of them. They are all happily watching a movie. Ash smiles, grief fading.

"I was happy too, Nebby." Nebby vanishes into the concentrated aura blast. Scraggy and Pikachu call out soft 'thank you's'.

There is silence. And then Awe, when Solgaleo steps out of the concentration of aura. The Deities move, the aura slowly creeps back into every corner of the alter. Ash looks up at Nebby.

Nebby stands tall, but there is a softness around the edges. Scraggy reaches out, Nebby leans down, a warm puff of air hit them.

"Scrag?" He says laying his palm on Nebby's nose. There is a soothing rumble as Ash brings one hand up to rest it just under Nebby's chin. He rests his forehead against Nebby's as they both share a breath, before Ash takes a step back.

"I'm so proud of you Nebby." Nebby smiles, he hears steps behind him, and forces down the fear. It wasn't just him that was saying goodbye to Nebby.

Lillie steps forward, asking for permission that is easily granted. Ash calls out his pokemon, all of them seeming to know that Solgaleo is Nebby.

"Thank you Nebby. Thank you for all the wonderful times we've shared." Lillie rests her forehead against his nose. She takes a step back, hand lingering on Nebby's snout, before she smiles one last time.

Gladion steps forward, entirely silent as he gives Nebby a chin scratch. Nebby rumbles in pleasure, rubbing his chin to the top of Gladion's head, there is a smile on both their faces as they step back.

Nebby snuffles softly than makes his way to Ash as they ask him for help. Pleading to him.

A z crystal floats down from Nebby's forehead, Ash takes the crystal, noting the new shape.

Pikachu, Scraggy and Nebby peer at his wrist, Ash looks at Koko. Koko nods and takes his z ring.

And then... the Guardian Deities play hot potato with it.

Tapu Koko had actually taken his z ring into his shield and performed some type of dance. Possibly part of type of ritual? It almost seemed magical... until the other Deities began to play hot potato with it after finishing their dance.

He catches the glowing z ring and notes that it is now black. He slips it over his wrist, the auras of the Guardians intermingle with his own and then the glow fades.

He slips the z crystal into the new z ring and looks up to Nebby for guidance. _Ash was learning the z moves, laughing as the class went through the motions. Nebby peer up at him in confusion, curious. Ash slows his movements, Nebby follows alongside him. Looking for guidance as Ash makes a game of it._

Tapu Koko floats down before him, and just as he had before, he teaches Ash the z move. 

"This our strength," Ash begins as he goes through the motions. "Our wills are united as one." He ends as Nebby roars to the sky. Everyone that didn't have a pokemon to ride on, climbs aboard Nebby. Ash watches his mother ride Charizard, Gary is on his Skarmory, Kukui-hakase and Burnet-hakase are on Braviary, Lillie and Gladion are on Nebby. While the Mallow, Lana, Kiawe and Sophocle ride on Mew as a Metang.

The Guardian Deities watch them leave.

Ash can feel their worry and he can feel their determination as they remain behind. Ash looks away, he faces the ultra wormhole and frowns. 

"I'm not going to let anyone else get hurt." Mewtwo hums in acknowledgement. As they near the ultra wormhole, Ash feels ice water flood his veins. Each breath feels as if he is inhaling ice shards. His breath comes out in stuttered gasps, there is a void. 

They glide behind Nebby but Ash can feel that the others can feel this pressure. Not the way that he and Lillie can. Gladion holds Lillie as she coughs.

Ash feels as if he is breathing through a straw, but gamely pushes on.

He can see the end of the ultra wormhole, he braces, Mewtwo holds him closer. It's almost like that time with Victini, he is freezing and the air is getting thinner. 

**"This world, is not a world meant for humans."** Mewtwo tells them, it draws attention to Ash, but he is too preoccupied with breathing to really care.

They shoot out of the ultra wormhole, and the last thing he sees is Gladion calling out to Lillie as he shakes her. The world fades to black.


	20. I Always End Up Underneath The Weight Of The World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: weight of the world- citizen soldier  
> Lusamine's pokemon:  
> Mismagius, Milotic, Lilligant, Absol, Clefable, Lopunny, Salazzle  
> Fusion Attacks: rock shield, stone edge, aura crystal ocean, rock throw, hyper beam wave, pin missile?

Burnet looked around, she remembers coming to the Altar of the Sunne two months ago. She feels as if everything had been on its head since then.

Lusamine had been different.

Looking at how she became more and more obsessed with Nebby, her only lead to the ultra beasts, Burnet wonders how she had missed so much.

How had she missed the grief hidden beneath obsession? How many excuses had she made for her, when she failed to return home. Failed to look for her son.

Her son, who had run away from home at seven years old. Failed to see her daughter. Her daughter who had somehow developed pokephobia. 

She knows about the wedding picture on Lusamine's desk. She knows about her kids. All her failures, the excuses that she had accepted.

_How much blind faith, made her turn her back on these kids in need. Hindsight really likes to slap her in the face._

But she had never known anything about Mohn and had never asked. 

She knows she had only come to Aether a few years ago.

After an eccentric woman swept her up out of the blue. Opening an ultra wormhole by accident in Unova. Being sworn to secrecy.

Taken into Aether foundation and told secrets. Secrets that were beyond belief and yet, hadn't Burnet gone and opened a hole in reality that she had never seen before? 

She was young, barely eighteen and still trying to finish schooling and field research to complete her degree. 

They taught her more than she had ever known, would ever know, helped her finish school to secure her loyalty. And they had it.

The woman from that photo were vastly different, from the one who had been abducted.

She can recall, with perfect clarity, the moment in which she had finally opened her eyes.

The whispered conversations with Wicke, back in the early days when Lusamine used to shut herself in her office on the same day every year. Wicke had told her in hushed whispers about ultra beasts and Mohn, an ultra wormhole and his disappearance.

And Burnet had done her best to help Lusamine, help her because Burnet thought she could help. Had thought she had helped.

She hadn't known how bad she was struggling. She had been so blinded by the eccentric persona.

This seemed so similar to the way she had dismissed... G? What was his name? Her old coworker? They were partners, even though he had been there longer than she had. Why couldn't she recall him? 

She knows. She knows that he had been traumatized. He had been traumatized right? For the failure of type Full? No. It was Null.

Her head was hurting.

She shook her head. They searched around the altar, trying to find out how to call Solgaleo. Shouldn't the legendary have known they were looking for it? They had passed through the ruins of Poni island, defeated the totem pokemon and saved their home.

Then Gary Oak walked dead center to the altar.

"It was never about Solgaleo coming to us or us summoning him." Gary huffs, hand coming up to rest on the altar, there is an expression of deep sorrow. It almost looked like the expression Lusamine had made once, when she had taken Burnet to her office the first time. It was the reason Burnet had not asked about her husband.

She regrets that now.

"This is that dream then." He laughs, and it's a harsh sound, its hurt and broken. It's like an amalgamation of disbelief, realization, grief and an indescribable sort of anger.

"He really can't catch a break can he?" He says nothing else and leans back against the altar. Gladion stares, she can see him glance around, then slowly face the Guardian Deities. They watch them, silent and unmoving. Ash's Charizard stands beside Delia, Delia waits. She too is observing them. Then as one, they all turn to face the horizon.

Almost as if they are waiting, knowing that Solgaleo will not appear. Delia pats Charizard's belly, she murmurs something soft under her breath, and then she can see a similar expression to the one Ash wears when he sits beside her.

It's determination, resolve and a fierceness that can't be described.

So Burnet waits too. Gladion and Lillie were already waiting, watching the horizon with looks of contemplation. 

They waited for a few hours, the sun rising higher and higher until she could see specks in the distance. They grew closer, and soon she could make out details. The large unknown pokemon, a metagross, a Braviary, Tapu Fini, and Tapu Lele.

"Ash is coming." Lillie says, hands clutching tightly at her hoodie, one that nearly matches Gladion's. She remembers Ash buying the three of them matching hoodies, all so similar in design to what Nebby used to look like.

She's running before she even realized it. Lillie, Gladion and Delia also running, while Gary sedately walks behind them.

As they touch down, Ash very pointedly remains by the unknown pokemon. He does not move to reach out to them, not like how he had before. Her heart falls as Kukui pulls his hat down and shakes his head, unable to look any of them in the eyes.

His mother doesn't stop, though she does slow down. Burnet feels fear, she wonders what a mother's heartbreak would do to her son.

But he doesn't flinch or tense when she reaches for him. Arms wrap around him, and his arms loosely return the embrace, but Lillie and Gladion looked pained, whereas she feels relief. Gary doesn't look affected, simply stares with his arms crossed over his chest.

Burnet can't see why none of them aren't relieved. When she pulls back, she can see that he is holding Nebby.

"It's time for Nebby to go home now." Ash says softly making his way to the center of the altar. Gary doesn't move, scrutinizing Ash before pointedly walking out if his way.

The Guardian Deities each move to one of the podiums and then as Ash steps just before them, a rectangle is cut into the space between them all. It's...

It's a television. 

_**The can see the Altar of the Sunne, its foggy. Someone is walking up the stairs, the person stops, there's a Pikachu. No.** _

_**It's Ash's pikachu, Ash is walking up the stairs, he pauses. He seems to ask someone that is not there a question.** _

_**He makes it to the top of the altar, to the center and then looks up. Two ultra wormholes open up, Solgaleo and Lunala appear. She knows that Ash wouldn't know these pokemon's names, and yet somehow he does.** _

_**The two legendaries look at him, and suddenly he responds to an unasked question. He promises them something, and then the two begin to glow. They fly at eachother and suddenly in the bright blinding light, she can see a cloud.** _

_**They watch as the four Guardians arrive and take Nebby away under the watchful eyes of the two legendary pokemon.** _

_**They watch Ash stumble towards Nebby.** _

_**The slow, uneven steps, the dread on his face as his knees gave out. His shaking hand reaching out, fairy dust faintly glittering in the air, Rotom's exclamation at not finding data. And then, the horror spreading across Ash's face as Ash gently caressed Nebby's cheek.** _

_**"Please no." He exhales shakily, Pikachu looks so very sad. A tear rolls down his cheek and his pokemon crowd around him.** _

Lillie gasps suddenly, the altar slowly begins to come to life. Ash gently releases Nebby, his fingers lingering as a brilliant glow unfurls at the top of the altar.

"I was happy too, Nebby." Ash smiles, a tear rolls down his cheek as Nebby vanishes into the burst of power coming from the altar.

Moments later, Solgaleo steps out of the concentration of light.

Burnet is excited to be going to ultra space despite the circumstances. This was what she had been trying to replicate for years, and now she was heading into the unknown.

Burnet was terrifed to be going to ultra space. What more could those ultra beasts do? What has happened to Lusamine? And now, an even more urgent question has presented itself.

How long would Ash and Lillie last?

"Lillie?! Lillie stay awake!" Gladion shouts, fear in his voice. He hugs her close, turns to look at Ash, and Burnet can see him slowly losing consciousness.

* * *

Gary feels as if his heart is in his throat as he sees Ash slowly passing out. His lips are tinged blue, the same goes for the blonde, Lillie. Both pass out just as they are ejected from the ultra wormhole. He knows this chill he feels, feels a thousand times more to those two.

They land, and Gary pays no mind to Mewtwo as he reaches Ash and checks his pulse. It's faint.

 **"Give them time to adjust, it will be slow, but they will adjust. You must not remain here long, they will not be able to handle it."** Gary nods, Bayleef releases sweet scent, Lillie is brought closer and all they can do is wait.

Lillie wakes up first, her lips are still tinted blue, and she wheezes a little but other than being disoriented, she seems fine.

Ash opens his eyes, stares up at the vast empty space and then kicks Gary square in the chest. Gary hits the floor, rolling back to his feet as he massages his chest with a cough. Ash sits up, visibly disoriented as he looks around.

"Nice of you to join us Ashy." Gary says as he makes his way to Ash. He resists the urge to stop when his eyes widen in fright, he has never treated Ash softly. And he never will, because his best friend is not fragile. His best friend is brave and treating him like glass would be an insult to both of them.

He holds out his hand, Ash flinches but still grabs his hand and is lifted to his feet. He snatches his hand back, his other hand coming up to cover it. There is fear in his eyes, but there is no mistrust as there had once been.

"It's dead here." He whispers, his voice doesn't carry in the utter stillness of this vast space. Gary frowns, he calls out his other pokemon, everyone does. Gary looks around, he only sees floating rocks. No, he kneels down and feels the ground.

"This is some type of crystal." Ash makes a choked noise, hands shaking as he kneeled down and touched the ground. To his right Lillie shrieks and slams her hands over her eyes.

"It's not crystal." Ash's voice sounds hollow, he looks horrified. "This used to be people and pokemon." Gary flinches, taking in the crystalline structures. He remembers Ash telling him what became of Sir Aaron and his Lucario. What would happen to any human or pokemon should their aura be drained. The whispered conversation about Ash almost becoming part of the tree of life.

Gary throws himself forward and yanks Ash to his feet, he slaps away the hand that grabbed his shoulder. His palms on either side of Ash's face, he can see his fear, but he does not move.

 _"Look_ at _me._ Don't look at _them,_ _look at me!_ " He demands. Ash meets his gaze, hands clutching Gary's wrist tight enough that his bones creaked, but he didn't falter or show weakness.

"They are gone. _Long gone,_ and there isn't a thing you can do to help them. You came to help save someone that _still_ has a chance, **don't look** , _promise_ me." Gary says, Ash shuts his eyes, shoulders heaving, the hand is back on his shoulder, gripping tightly, but he pays it no mind. What matters is Ash, the reckless, bleeding heart, who doesn't hesitate to lend a hand to anyone or pokemon in need.

Even if he ends up getting hurt.

Gary will not lose his brother to this empty place, void of life, a desecrated crystalline graveyard. 

"I promise." He hiccups, hands falling from Gary's wrists, and he finally steps back. It's Kukui, the Professor of Alola. He looks furious with Gary, it matters little to him, he doesn't care if he's the bad guy in this man's eyes.

He isn't the bad guy in Ash's eyes. In his pokemon's eyes. In his sometimes Mama's eyes.

Gary has his priorities, and despite coming along to help retrieve Lusamine, he came to protect his sometimes Mama. He would protect Ash from himself, these people don't know him as much as they think they do. And until they do, Gary will continue to watch over Ash.

There is a soft touch to his shoulder and he crosses his arms over his chest.

"It doesn't hurt." He tells Delia when she raises his sleeve. He already knows there are bright red bands along his wrists that will darken into bruises. He's going to have to wear his wrist bands and his labcoat for the next week, how irritating. 

"Let's get moving." Someone says, Gary peeks at Lillie to see her in her brother's arm, drying her tears.

"Stop. We don't know where we're going here, these two can't be here long. So we need to do this in a way that minimizes the time we spend here." Everyone stops to look at him, but he only has eyes for Ash. Mewtwo raises his head, eyes glowing blue as he searches the desolate plain of existence. 

**"They are coming this way, the fight is coming to us."** Ash doesn't look down, hasn't looked since he promised, but he does close his eyes. He takes a deep breath, then slowly lets it out.

"Things are going to go down fast. There isn't any time to hesitate, so you have to hit hard and you have to hit fast." Ash says, fire in his eyes as he nods to his pokemon.

"Charizard, Bayleef, Pikachu, you have permission to go all out." Ash says, Gary hums in amusement at some of the flabbergasted looks.

"I'll be battling with Mimey and Charizard." Ash turns, looks up and Gary can see him digging his nails into his wrist as he accepts the hug from his mom. Gary looks away.

"Charizard, take care of Mama." Charizard blows a small stream of fire at Ash's face, covering him in soot. Ash laughs, rubbing the underside of his Charizard's jaw.

 **"They come."** Gary calls out to his pokemon, he looks to the Alolans, to the pokemon they have and hisses in frustration. He splits his team so that they each have support, Mew and Mewtwo take to standing between them and the approaching hoard? No, its a hive.

"What the hell is that?!" Professor Burnet is the one to answer him.

"That's UB-01, the Symbiote Nihilego." She clenches her hands, looks to the crystals. "They drain aura." Gary hates this. He knows what will happen.

"Nebby. I'm leaving Ash in your care." Gary says, facing the legendary pokemon that Ash had raised. Ash can sense his anxiety, can sense his fear. Ash steps closer to Nebby and nods.

"Scraggy, stay close. You're a close range fighter." Ash says to his feisty, pokemon.

The Nihilego arrive, and behind them is a large one, different colored. It is fleeing.

"Mother!" 

"Nebby!" 

Gary feels the ground rumble, it shifts and spires rise.

His final glimpse of Ash, is of him clinging to Nebby's forepaw, Gladion and Lillie on Nebby's back, and Charizard with Mr. Mime and Mama flying behind them.

* * *

"Kids!" Kukui calls out once the rumbling stops and the ground settles. They don't even get to respond as the ultra beasts descend. 

"Skarmory steel wing, Blastoise hydropump. Umbreon shadow ball, Arcanine flare blitz!" Gary calls out, throwing himself forward and slamming his heels straight into a Nihilego, saving Sophocles. 

"Mew! Mewtwo! One of you follow Ash! We'll follow when we can!" Mewtwo? Is that what it was called?

Mewtwo shot off, blasting past the Nihilego with some difficulty. Mew right behind, trying to create a path. It seems not even the legendary pokemon were able to stand up to these ultra beasts.

What an apt name.

"Braviary, brave bird!" Kukui shouts just as Kiawe wastes no time and orders Turtonaur to attack while Marowak is at his side ready to defend him.

Lana and Mallow stand back to back ordering their pokemon to attack. It isn't enough.

"Ninetails!" Kukui calls out, throwing his pokeball to the girls. "Defend!" His Alolan ninetails uses blizzard.

"Munchlax metronome!" Burnet calls out, a powerful dragonrage bursts forth. It comes just in time, sending three Nihilego flying back.

"I don't have time to deal with you canon fodder!" Gary screams, his pokemon begin to fight harder.

"Mew! Help me make a path!" There was a second where Kukui felt pure disbelief over the audacity of this teenage Professor ordering a legendary pokemon, before he throws himself before Burnet and tackles her away from reaching tentacles. Mew uses attack after attack. Fairy, dragon, psychic, fighting, fire, water, grass, poison and flying type without discrimination. 

Each of Gary's pokemon is fighting hard, shielding his kids and all he can think is, _'I need to teach them to battle'._ Then he feels guilt, they never needed to learn before.

"Move! Move!" Gary shouts, as the spires are finally torn down enough for them to slip through. Gary dives in first, defending them from above and in front. Kukui and Burnet go last, to defend from behind.

"Popplio!" "Steenee!" "Togedemaru! Charjabug!" Is the last thing Kukui hears as the spires collapse inward, he barely manages to push himself and Burnet forward so that they aren't left behind.

He can't stop his cry of pain as his left foot is slammed into the ground and pinned.

"That was hyperbeam. None of those pokemon know hyperbeam." Gary utters with dread in his voice. Despite his dread, he has already made his way to Kukui and was examining the rock, crystal slide.

"Mew, can you use psychic to hold this up?" Mew drifts down, presses a paw to the crystal and then shakes their head. Looking drained from the contact with the crystal. Gary grimaces, looks over his shoulder as the pokemon continue to fight.

He clicks his tongue, then pulls out two pokeballs. 

"I was hoping to keep these two in reserve for when it was necessary, Ashy better keep his promise." He mutters with a mutinous expression. "Fearrow, Alakazam help out." His Alakazam struggles to use psychic on the crystals, Mew lends a hand, hands grip onto the lapels of his labcoat and yank him free.

"We don't have time to waste, use Fearrow to get around or that ninetails." Kukui nods, feeling terrible that he was slowing them down.

"Ninetails!" His faithful ninetails leaps to his side and kneels down to accommodate him. He pats her side and shifts so that he lies flat on her back.

"Don't worry about me ninetails, do everything you can to protect the others." Ninetails wacks his thigh with a tail and proceeds to use blizzard on the descending ultra beasts. 

Gary waves, catching his attention as his Fearrow and Skarmory both use Gust to slam a few dozen ultra beasts away.

"Have ninetails use blizzard straight ahead of us! Blastoise hydro pump! Arcanine use flare blitz to make an ice tunnel!" Ninetails nods and uses blizzard, repeatedly, the other pokemon defend them from all sides. Torracat and Rowlet are amongst them, Kukui hadn't even noticed they had stayed behind. A storm of leafage followed by flame charge creates a fire tornado that buys them time to complete the tunnel.

"We're not going to make it running. Everyone hop onto a pokemon!" Kukui shouts when he sees the ultra beasts slamming their tentacles into the ice tunnel.

Burnet joins him on ninetails, Mallow and Lana are on Braviary, Sophocles on Skarmory and Gary and Kiawe were on Fearrow and Arcanine.

* * *

Lillie can feel determination in both Ash and her brother. She feels this empty void that swallows all light and sound surrounding them, but does her best to push it to the back of her mind.

~~_"I hAtE yOu AlL!! gO aWaY!!!"_ ~~

She focuses on Ash. Ash is full of courage and determination, the overwhelming fear from before is gone. And somehow, she knows that this is the kind of person Ash truly was. Pushing back his fears to help someone in need.

When this was over. When all of them were safe, Lillie was going to sit down with Ash and start from the beginning with him again.

"You saved us! You saved us and now you're turning your back on us?!" Brother shouts, furious and desperate.

He had done so much for her, for them. She wasn't going to let him be further chained by this fear. 

Up ahead their mother shrieked, telling them to stay away.

 ~~ _"I'm NoT lEtTiNg YoU TaKe mY BeLoVeD aWAy!!!"_~~ She screeches as throws out several pokeballs.

Ash's mom intercepts the pokemon.

"I _will_ catch up with you, go!" She shouts, her Mr. Mime using reflect against Salazzle and Mismagius. "Charizard flamethrower, rapid spin!" She cries out and a fire tornado blocks them from the next attacks. Mr. Mime staying by her side and unleashing reflect after reflect.

"Stay safe children!" She cries out, at the edge of their hearing. She sees Ash glance back, then resolutely looked ahead. 

"This going to be a lot harder than you think it will be. Harden your resolve, and don't look back." Ash advices them letting out his Lycanroc and Bayleef as Absol was released by mother. 

"I'm leaving it up to you two!" Ash calls out, his pokemon nod, and then in one leap, Nebby has flown past them.

"It's like mother has been changed, she was obsessed with the ultra beasts, but not like this. This woman..." brother feels a mixture of emotions. "She doesn't recognize us. Unlike before when she just didn't _see_ us, this _**thing**_ has warped her." Lillie can feel a barrier between them and mother. As if she has blocked her heart to them.

 **"I believe that I can be of some assistance."** Lillie looks at the unknown pokemon that seems attached to Ash.

"Thanks Mewtwo." A psionic blast of pure energy is launched at mother. She releases a frightening shriek, at the same time that Lillie can feel the void grow.

Tentacles rise up, a bright orange inferno forms at the center and then rings of negative light begin to emanate from it. It feels like she's been dumped into snow without winter clothes. She stiffens, feelings of dark, malevolent rage begin to overwhelm her. Her vision darkens at the edges as screams echo.

"Lillie! Ash!" She can feel an arm tightening around her waist and then Ash is suddenly on her lap.

"Hold on, both of you hold on!" Someone shouts, the world goes dark.

~~_"StOp GeTtInG iN mY wAy!!!"_ ~~

"Wake up, wake up! You're okay, breathe!" Despite her breath catching in her throat, Lillie continues to force herself to breathe.

"Let go, _please,_ let go." Lillie sees now, that brother had pulled Ash onto her lap. That he was holding them together on Nebby, mother was gone again. Fleeing into the distance.

There was a moment where she _knows_ that her brother felt something, but he was surprisingly good at remaining vague.

It was like he knew that Lillie could feel his emotions after that first time she failed to touch Clefairy.

"I won't stop reaching out, just because I'm letting go, doesn't mean, I'm _letting you,_ go." Ash nods and easily slips free, clinging to Nebby as the pokemon, Mewtwo points his paws at them and launches them forward as Milotic tries to use hydro pump and fails, while Lopunny uses thunder punch.

 **"Go, I will catch up."** Scraggy jumps off Nebby and slams into Lopunny with focus punch, he follows up with high jump kick.

"I'm counting on you Scraggy!" Ash calls back, he smiles at his pokemon and Lillie can feel his resolve strengthen. Ash was willing to let his pokemon fight on their own while he accompanied them. That took strength, a tremendous amount of strength for the fear he carried grew with each loss of security.

And yet his courage also grew.

"It will only get harder from here." He says, hands clenched tightly around Nebby's fur.

"We understand." Lillie and Gladion say after sharing a look. Lillie can see mother, she has an angry flush along her cheeks, she tosses one more pokeball, and Lillie knows who it is. 

"I will face this pokemon! Clefable is my friend!" Brother tightens his arms around her waist, she can feel his courage and pride, so clearly as if he had shouted it at the top of his lungs. Nebby slows, and she slides off, Ash glances at her, and he reaches out. He grasps hold of her wrist and helps her land as Nebby continues to run.

She can feel overwhelming terror, but more than that.

She feels his pride and joy.

"Lycanroc, Umbreon! Help Lillie out!" Gladion shouts as he tosses two pokeballs over his shoulder. Lycanroc used stone edge and defended her from a moon blast. Lillie remembers Clefable.

The fairy type had always cheered her up. As a Clefairy, she cuddled with Lillie as a child, and played with her whenever she had felt lonely. And when Lillie had been unable to touch her, she had not held it against her. Had tried time and again to reach out at a level that Lillie was comfortable with.

Despite her tears, and her fears, Clefairy, then Clefable never once stopped smiling at her. She had hope that Lillie would one day be able to touch her. And that time had finally come.

"I'm not going to fight you Clefable, you're my best friend!" Lillie is once more shielded, Snowy uses powder snow on the floor. Lycanroc takes the brunt of moonblast, Umbreon tries to stop the moonlight from healing Clefable but failed. 

"I wasn't able to touch you for so long, and yet you still continued to reach out to me! So i will do the same! Because i know you haven't given up on me! So i won't give up on you!" Lillie is sliding onto the ice, Umbreon at her side uses dark pulse to shield her from a metronome that yielded shadow ball. 

Lillie was kneeling before Clefable. The fairy type glared at her, but deep within, there was fierce love.

"I'm sorry i wasn't able to touch you all those years ago, but I'm here now." Lillie doesn't hesitate, and wraps her arms around her nearest and dearest friend.

A hand is raised, it shakes as it makes to strike her. Lycanroc stands behind her, growling. Umbreon and Snowy are at her sides, powering up attacks. 

A hand softly pets her hair. Lillie looks up, pride and joy swelling in her chest as she sees warm amethyst eyes staring fondly at her.

"Will you help me save mother?" 

"Clef." She nods, Lillie looks over Clefable's shoulder and is suddenly drowning in a seething miasma of despair and emptiness.

* * *

Gladion calls out to his mother.

"You proved me wrong earlier! Why are you turning your back to us now?!" She seems to flinch, there is a flicker of recognition in her eyes before anger over takes her. Tentacles rise up, in a flash there are several shards being fired at them like rock throw. 

"Pikachu!" Ash cries out, Pikachu jumps and uses iron tail to beat the rocks, crystal shards aside.

A thick miasma, purple and glowing a toxic shade, rises from the crystalline floor.

Ash violently recoils, this was not a good sign.

His face a pale shade, eyes wild with fright as he glances back at Gladion. Its a sea, a sea made up of those without aura. This void can't feel good to Ash, nor will it feel good to Lillie. He knows that their time has been shortened. Nebby hauls Ash higher up onto his back.

Ash whimpers as he is lightly splashed, Gladion yanked off his hoodie and used it to scrub Ash's exposed leg. He wheezes, and is tense but slowly relaxes. He shifts so that there is space between them, then looks to mother. 

"Don't let it touch you." He warns, a flicker of blue barely visible at his fingertips. Pikachu stands on Nebby's head and watches mother, he watches mother as if she were prey.

 ~~ _"Go AwAy!!!! Go AwAy!!!!!!"_~~ Mother shrieks, Ash winces, a tormented look briefly crosses his face before he looks behind them.

"Fearrow fury attack! Followed by sky attack!" A fearrow cuts ahead of them and attacks mother, but she raises a crystal wall to defend herself.

"Those pokemon keep recovering! You need to take her down or the others will be in trouble!" Gary shouts, Gladion can see his sister behind him, Clefable no longer under mother's control.

"Clefable moonblast! Umbreon dark pulse!" Lillie cries out, and despite the circumstances, Gladion feels proud of how far she has come. 

"Silvally!" Gladion watches as Ash focuses only on mother. Quietly whispering to Nebby when to dodge, or for Pikachu to attack. He was looking for an opening.

Gladion can see how pale she is, her hands were trembling as she clutched them to her chest.

"Pikachu, quick iron ball team!" Gladion was absolutely stunned. Pikachu was using quick attack at such a speed that he basically had double team, and used iron tail and electro ball at the same time, essentially playing a one pokemon volleyball game.

Lillie and Gary land at their side, both prepared to fight. Ash shares a look with Gary before they both take off at once and head straight for mother in a pincer move while Pikachu keeps her distracted. 

They get knocked back. Mewtwo catches them, blasting pure psionic energy at mother, only to be rebuffed with some type of move similar to bullet seed.

"Stop running away mother!" Lillie shouts, the angry flush rises on mother's cheeks.

 ~~ _"tHeN sToP cHaSiNg_~~ _Me!!"_ She shouts, voice getting more and more distorted, it's like a strange metallic hiss.

Lycanroc, Umbreon, Silvally, Snowy, Clefable, Fearrow, Mewtwo, Pikachu and now a Alakazam are fighting mother. Ash and Gary both try to reach her again, this time Gladion and Lillie join them. Gladion knows they will get hurt, but he is willing to accept the risks. Lillie is willing to accept the risks as well, she nods at him and they charge forward.

Tentacles flash, striking down every single one of them. Ash tackles Lillie out of the way of a rock throw substituted with crystal shards. The two look shaky as they rise to their feet.

They are running out of time.

 ** ~~ _"StAy AwAy!!!!!!"_~~** Her voice grates on his ears. Gladion rises to his feet, arm coming up to rub at his aching thigh. He refuses to bow down though.

"Stop this childish game mother!" He shouts, throwing his hand out to the side as tentacles rise up and glow a hot white. He doesn't back down, the bullet seed like attack skims past his cheek, it burns, but he doesn't flinch as he glares up at her.

Lillie fearlessly walks up to mother, a tentacle makes to slam into her, but Ash catches it and refuses to budge. Mother can't pull free.

Mewtwo catches another. A third makes to fire some type of attack at her but Gladion throws himself over it and gamely holds on.

Mother looks afraid. _Of them_.

"Enough is enough mother. I won't keep chasing your back anymore. I've grown up. I've changed. And you've stagnated ever since father disappeared."

Mother and this ultra beast that has fused with her, releases a shrill scream. Lillie doesn't flinch, Gladion would make sure she had no reason to. He would protect what was left of his old family. 

"I've listened to your every word, even when you never came home. Or when you broke countless promises to come to my birthdays." Lillie continues forward, Silvally strikes down another tentacle.

"I've changed from that child you knew! And if you won't listen to me as your daughter, than listen to me as my father's daughter." There was a moment of stillness, Gladion can feel mother's attention focus on Lillie.

"My mother is strong person, not a weak puppet for this ultra beast that has taken hold of you. She has held herself together for some many years, all alone, with her grief." Lillie stops, fists clenched into the material of hoodie, so similar to his own. These hoodies symbolized their bonds, if it could reach Ash, maybe it could reach mother.

She looks up at mother and Gladion can feel her conviction. 

"It may feel like your caught in a tide of never ending grief. Like the world has come to a halt, but it hasn't!"  
She shouts passionately, its like a punch to the gut, Gladion is nearly bucked off the tentacle when a beautiful alolan ninetails touches down behind him. Kukui reaches over and grabs hold of both him and the tentacle and keeps them steady. 

"The world spins on, it's _us,_ who've come to a stop, _drowning_ in a sea of grief and despair. But we can help each other. Ash, brother and I have come a long way, _together."_ Lillie's voice was strong, it was strong despite her fatigue. She never wavered.

Gladion never admired his sister as much as he did in this instant.

Lillie reaches out her hand.

"And you can stop hiding away behind this obsession of yours, all you need..." mother's hand comes up slowly, her eyes losing that toxic shade. "Is to take a leap of faith, we're here." Lillie speaks softly, mother reaches out her hand and Gladion wants to feel relieved, but he won't until he has his family safe and out of this empty abyss full of monsters. He can see that Ash still has that look on his face. Determination, sorrow, and a look of knowing. 

He glances at Gladion, regret crosses his face for a split second.

Gladion is jerked forward, his grip tightened, but it was no use as he slid forward as if he weighed nothing. He grit his teeth and dug his heels in, he would protect what remained of his family. Kukui tightened his grip on both him and the tentacle before he pulled back. He groaned a little but kept hold and nodded at Gladion.

Gladion shivers from the close proximity of ninetails, he felt naked without his hoodie. His scars, numerous and wide were in full display. His trials and errors in raising Silvally marked across his body. He ignored it, and Kukui's stares, what mattered was reaching mother.

"No!" Ash cries out, releasing the tentacle and throwing himself at Lillie as mother is swallowed by ink. The crystalline structure shifts, they are violently thrown into the air and Gladion's heart thunders in his chest.

"Silvally!!!!" Silvally roars, firing air strike at Ash and Lillie who are nearly engulfed by the crystal. Ash, wrapped around Lillie, shakily nods and backs away from her when they are freed. He holds himself, a flush of shame across his cheeks.

"It's fine. It's fine." He hears him whisper, Mewtwo rests his paw on Ash's shoulder and offers him a nod. Ash raises his hands, they flickered.

He exhales shakily, face white as he looks up.

 **"We've run out of time, the time is now or you leave this woman behind."** Gladion looks at Lillie, she has tears in her eyes. She is so pale, her faded bruises are visible again. He recalls how hard she had fought to defend Ash, he looks to Ash who curls his hands into fists and turns to the mountain.

"You don't have to do this Ash." Ash tilts his head back, and he grins as if he knows no fear, as if he hadn't just trembled from simply holding Lillie in his arms.

"We're family right?" Gladion nods, Lycanroc passes him his hoodie and he ties it around his waist.

"Then we do this together." Kukui says, clapping his hand onto Gladion's shoulders. Mewtwo's eyes glow blue as one by one they begin to float upwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate scenes:  
> [Kukui watches Lillie stand up to her mother, fearless in the face of the monstrosity that her mother has become. Gladion shivers next to him, Kukui thinks this is the first time he has seen him without his hoodie or long sleeves. He can see scars running up and down his arms, they are large and years old. "But you arent alone any more! Brother and I are grown up, you dont have to protect us from this grief any more!" Lillie stretches out out her hand, reaching for her mother. Her mother who had all but abandoned her at a young age. "You just need to have faith," Lusamine slowly lifts her hand. "And take a leap."]
> 
> (("Your obsession with the ultra beasts was a crutch that you depended on for so long! You never gave yourself time to heal! Holding in your pain for so many years, trying to keep everything together when the world spun wildly out of your control. But the world spins on regardless of our grief!"
> 
> "It may feel like you're drowning in an ocean of despair, but you aren't alone. We all have a share of pain that we carry, and together we are strong enough to overcome it!"))
> 
> <"Grief is heavy, and you feel alone, so very alone. But you've used this obsession with ultra beasts for so long, you've become mixed up." There was a plea in her voice, Ash pulled on the tentacle he was holding onto, warning in his eyes. He met Gladion's eyes and gave a firm nod.
> 
> "You don't need to protect us from your pain, you don't have to come back to us if you don't want to." Lillie takes a step forward, hand reaching out to mother.
> 
> "But mother, search your heart, look me in the eyes and take a leap of faith." Mother's hand moves, it looks like she is reaching out.>


	21. Faith, Should I Take The Leap?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Face my fear- utada hikaru, amalee, lizz robinette

Ash doesn't feel scared anymore. He knows this is bad. Pikachu knows this is bad. No one else seems to realize, he wants to keep it that way.

He's only this calm when he's accepting the inevitable outcome. He would be coming back, he had too much too lose if he didnt.

They touched down, Lusamine was fading. And fading fast. Ash wasn't going to let anyone vanish here. Not in this place void of all things living, he wasn't going to leave any of them here.

"Let's show that thing what we're made of buddy." Pikachu nods, he can feel his aura and Pikachu's connecting. It's slow, agonizingly slow, as all aura is here. Being drained, all the excess aura he usually had, is being siphoned off by these crystals. Twisted by the ultra beasts, this type of crystal should never behave this way. 

_~~Itshouldnotexisthere~~ _

Corrupted by the ultra beasts as they were, Ash almost couldn't see the people and pokemon within.

"We don't have time to waste, not when the others are fighting. So give it our all!" Ash shouts, Pikachu jumps and lets loose one of his strongest thunder attacks. Mewtwo slams a psychic wave at the ultra beast, Gary has his pokemon attack from the sides, Lillie, Gladion and Kukui-hakase have their pokemon attack as well. They attack from all sides, giving the ultra beast no room to move.

Ash can feel their conviction. It strengthens his resolve, and then his and Pikachu's auras fully connect. His wrist tingles briefly, and then before his eyes, the z crystal changes shape. It's a bright yellow, taking on the shape of Pikachu's tail, Pikachu scampered onto his shoulder and sniffed it.

Why did he know how to use the z move for this, when he has never lain eyes on it before. Lusamine shrieks, air slash heading his way, Pikachu jumps up and uses iron tail to block. The clash creates a strong wind, Ash raises his arm to shield his face, his hat flies up. Pikachu barely touches down before leaping after his hat, Ash smiles and sets it on Pikachu.

"We're going home, together." Pikachu grins, pounding his fist to Ash's, whirling around so that he could give Ash a tail five, then lands on the floor before him.

"Stronger than a thunderbolt 100,000 volts..." Ash raises his fist, Pikachu follows. "Feel the strength of our combined faith, 10,000,000 volts!!" 

It's indescribable. The power that Pikachu unleashed. It was beautiful to look at. And so very bright.

It almost felt, nostalgic, like watching Ho-oh flying off in the distance. It felt like coming _home._

The z powered thunderbolt struck Lusamine, a vibrant and concussive explosion knocked him off his feet. He could hear Kukui-hakase calling out to each of them in concern. Ash stared up, he felt drained. Pikachu walked up his stomach, plopped his hat back onto Ash's head and let out a small relieved 'Chaaa' sound. He slumped over, paw lazily batting at Ash's face, Ash pushed himself up on his elbows and saw Gladion and Lillie with their pokemon, pulling Lusamine free.

The Nihilego rose up, Mewtwo slammed it away with a wave of psychic. 

Ash fell back onto his back, shutting his eyes with relief. Slowly, the quiet background noises, faded away. He felt comfortable, and so very tired.

_Mm._

It was safe.

"Chaaaaaa, Pikapi." He could do that, he knows that they are finally out of the woods. The ultra beasts were retreating, everyone was making their way towards them.

"Ash?" He opened his eye, blinking slowly at the lackluster sky above. Huh. That's interesting. Lackluster. Using that word to describe aura crystals, usually so beautiful and the color of life, being called lacklustre. It was _wrong._

His vision was fading.

That wasn't good.

"Ash?" He blinked, Gary was in his line of vision, he looked a little fuzzy at the edges. And he sounded so far away. It was like he was drifting. Slowly.

He blinked again, it was harder to keep his eyes open. Wasn't that Kukui-hakase? He looked upset.

 _ **"Rest, we can handle the rest from here."**_ Mewtwo said, his skin prickled as his hand was gently grasped. The sensation slowly recedes as he drops his tenuous grasp on awareness.

* * *

Kukui was blown off his feet, flipping back onto his front before ninetails managed to grab hold of him. Kukui raised his arm over his hear, cap having fallen off during the initial gust of wind.

"Kids!" Kukui called out, he searched frantically for his kids. The ultra beast was down for the count, they were safe in that regard. But what about his students? With Lusamine taken down, her pokemon couldn't recover, so they were safe right?

Mewtwo was hovering beside Ash, who was lying on his back, Pikachu splayed across his chest.

Gladion was curled around Lillie, Silvally and Clefable blocking them from the explosion. Gary was crouched down, eyes narrowed in fury as he kept his eyes on the ultra beast while his Fearrow stood, poised with a glowing beak. Alakazam had mega evolved, when had that happened?

Lillie and Gladion waited for a minute before running towards Lusamine, Kukui rose to his feet and took a single step forward. He crumpled to the ground, hands braced against his ankle as pain throbbed. He hissed, took a deep breath, then slowly exhaled through clenched teeth. Ninetails helped him sit up, he glanced towards Ash to see that he hadn't moved. He looked to be phasing in and out of consciousness. 

That z move, something he had never seen before, seemed to have drained both him and Pikachu of their remaining strength.

"We've done what we came to do. We're leaving. Now." Gary said, marching towards Ash, his Alakazam keeping watching over Lillie, Gladion and Lusamine.

Lusamine was lying between Gladion and Lillie, her hands pressed against the backs of their heads as she smiles at them. Kukui sighs in relief.

"Ash?" Gary was standing over him, watching him with an unreadable look, Mewtwo was watching the distance. He could just make out Charizard, Mew, Braviary and the kids with the rest of the pokemon.

Ninetails helped him limp over to Ash, his glazed brown eyes barely flickered his way. He seemed fixated on the murky sky. He blinked slowly, each time, it took longer and longer to open his eyes.

 _ **"Rest, we can handle the rest from here."**_ Mewtwo says, his expression soft, and then Ash is out like a light.

Kukui watched Gary kneel down and grab hold of Ash's hand, he wrapped it around Pikachu, the other one as well, then pulled off his labcoat and set it over the both of them. Kukui winced at the bruises he could see. Even more when he saw the bruise bracelets on his wrists. 

The kids, Burnet and Delia touched down as Gary stepped back, his Alakazam finally dropping its mega evolution. He quickly returned his pokemon one by one until only his Fearrow and Skarmory remained. Delia was kneeling down beside Ash, stroking his hair with a worried frown.

"Mother! Lillie!" Kukui turns around to find Gladion holding both his mother and Lillie and slowly losing his grip as he tries to hold them up. Panicked green eyes shoot to him, begging for help. Kukui wastes no times and jumps onto ninetails, sliding forward in time to catch Lusamine while Gladion drops to his knees, cradling Lillie in his arms.

 ** _"Quickly. Gather together, we've out stayed our welcome here."_** Mewtwo raised its paws, Mew raises their paws as well, Gary whistles sharply, gathering Ash's pokemon's attention. He returns all of them, pockets them then turns to Delia, who nods and lifts Ash off the ground, and climbs onto Charizard.

"Hurry children, group together." Kukui pulls Lusamine onto his lap, ninetails wraps her tails around the both of them securely. Gladion returns his pokemon, and Lusamine's befire pulling Lillie onto his lap as he climbs onto Silvally. His students all return their pokemon and climb into Nebby.

They are all lifted with psychic, Nebby roars and a new ultra wormhole opens. The ultra beasts are long gone, only a desolate and scarred wasteland is left behind.

Its silent, same as when they first entered the ultra wormhole. Still tense, but mostly filled with relief, especially as Ash and Lillie regain a little color the further they head away from ultra space.

What awaits them at the end of the tunnel, is the starry night sky. Fatigue instantly sets in, they briefly waver, but that doesn't last long. There are search beams pointed up at them, several helicopters wait on a platforms not to far from the Altar of the Sunne. He can see Aether employees and Nurse Joy.

How-

When-

Was that Wicke and Nanu?! 

"Anyone severely injured?" Nanu asked gruffly, eyeing the black sludge stuck to Kukui and Lusamine.

"Lusamine, Lillie and Ash. Everyone else has bumps and bruise-" a white hot flash of pain blinds him as he made to stand. He can feel Lusamine being taken from him, he's being lowered into a sitting position, a hand briefly prods his leg and he barely resists the urge to yell.

"You broke your ankle." Broken? Shit. He was careless, he shouldn't have kicked the damn ultra beast, Scraggy had it handled.

"Uh... any way to hold off taking me away until i check on the kids?" Nanu stares at him, he stares for an uncomfortably long time before rising to his feet with a shrug.

"Sure, why not. It's not like these kids haven't been missing for a period of over ten hours." Kukui winced. It really hadn't felt that long, goes to show that the rules of ultra space don't follow the rules of their world.

"You're right." Kukui watches as each of his kids are taken onto a helicopter. Burnet going with Lusamine, freeing Gladion to go with Lillie and Delia went with Ash. Gary stays with his students, offering them advice as the adrenaline wears off and Mallow starts crying, while Sophocles buries himself at her side heading for shock. Lana seems okay, but Kukui knows she processes things much fasters and prefers to be alone with her thoughts. As for Kiawe, he stares off into the distance, towards Akala Island, no doubt trying to draw strength from Wela volcano.

He should talk to Samson about giving them a week off, they were going to need time to process everything that had happened.

The last thing he sees, as he's loaded into the helicopter, is the sight of three other helicopters taking off, and his students being wrapped in blankets while Gary stares Nanu down.

Kukui glares at his cast, and his sling, then takes in the white room and walls. The door is mocking him, he knows it. He carefully lowers one foot to the ground, then the other, and pushes himself off the bed. He barely makes it to push the door open, when he sees the frowning face of Dr. Kai in the small window. He sighs and makes his way back to bed, he doesn't see why he has to remain here. All he had was a broken foot, and messed up his elbow again.

Dr. Kai enters the room, Wicke and a woman in a short gray pencil skirt step in behind him. There is a second where Kukui thinks that something bad has happened, but Wicke smiles. 

"I had a talk with the doctor. You've been taking care of Lusamine's children for the past few months, can you continue to care for them?" Kukui's stomach feels heavy as the implications fall across his shoulders like a weight.

"Is Lusamine..." Wicke shakes her head, taking a seat at Kukui's bedside.

"It seems that the ultra beast has done some damage to her body. She's very weak right now, and her immune system is that of a new born. She asked that you continue to care for her children until she gets better." Kukui glances at the stern woman carrying a folder, Dr. Kai beside her looks at him with a serious look.

"I would gladly continue watching over Gladion and Lillie, even if you hadn't asked." Wicke smiles, relieved, the stern woman makes her way to Kukui and begins to read to him. She asks for his signature, initials, all done with his non dominant hand thanks to his sling. Good thing he was ambidextrous.

The woman even requested copies of his birth certificate, social security, proof of income and property, very thorough for Lusamine's Aether foundation, per ususal. And then, she asks for proof that the kids had been under his care the previous months.

Somehow Wicke had all of that taken care of. He's relieved, but also, more than a little creeped out.

"You're taking care of Lusamine's children, and you're dating Burnet. If you had missteped..." Kukui has a feeling that Wicke was a lot more dangerous than she seemed.

She would gladly ruin him with a smile, and that made her a formidable woman. Definitely not someone to cross, at least not without sufficient support. Because Kukui was going to cross her. For both Lillie and Gladion's sake, he would do anything and everything to keep them free.

Lillie and Gladion didn't deserve to be pushed aside and forgotten for years. Lusamine didn't just get to wipe the slate clean, she had to earn their forgiveness. Their trust.

Kukui would gladly step back when he was sure that they wouldn't just be tossed aside again. His kids were brave, smart, loyal and so very kind. He doesn't think they would be able to take it if they had to suffer like this again. 

So he'll smile and nod along, but he's going to do everything he can to make sure they will not suffer again. 

"We will contact you shortly." The woman leaves, Wicke thanks him and soon follows. Dr. Kai waits a few more minutes, then five more minutes before making his way to Kukui's side.

"You broke your ankle. And you messed up your elbow again." He sighs, leans forward, elbows resting on his thighs and looks Kukui in the eyes.

"No more Masked Royal for the next two months." Kukui can't even come up with an argument. He knows the routine for major injuries like this. Rest, physical therapy, and thankfully no surgeries necessary this time. 

"I understand." A skeptical look is aimed his way, but Dr. Kai thankfully says nothing and leaves the room.

Kukui waits, maybe a half hour? Before throwing the blanket off his lap and hobbling out of bed, carefully pulling off his sling, tossing his shirt off and slipping on his precious labcoat. He has to think for a full minute about the sling, but reluctantly slips it back on, he is not having surgery again.

He makes sure to take the folder full of paperwork with him, tucking it into his sling. He wasn't going to leave something like this lying around.

He pulls out his pokeballs and once he's assured his pokemon, he stumbles out of the room. He stealthily makes his way down the hall, peering into windows to try and find any of his kids.

He's maybe, at the seventh door down from his when he spots red hair. He peers further and sees a Charizard, Bayleef, and Lycanroc. He knocks, Delia looks up and smiles. He opens the door and steps into the room, Ash is sleeping but his pokemon are spread out around the room.

"How is he?" Kukui asks softly, Delia is holding Pikachu and Scraggy on her lap as she smiles down at her son.

"He's resting. The doctors say it's exhaustion..." Delia shoots him a knowing look, and Kukui knows that it isn't exhaustion. 

"Its his aura, isn't it?" She nods, watching Ash sleep, and he looks at peace. Like he really is just resting.

"Sit, you shouldn't be standing, Gary should be back after checking on the rest of the kids." Kukui limps over and sits down in the chair beside her. Kukui just realized, Delia hasn't reached out to touch Ash, not once since picking him up earlier.

"I know my Ash is afraid, so very afraid. But the last time he came home and flinched away from me..." Delia runs her fingers over Pikachu's head, Pikachu looks up at her with sorrow. "I cried and he felt so guilty. I never wanted to do that to him. And now he thinks that he can't show fear in front of me." Delia looks up and meets his gaze.

"This is why, i think, he should stay here. With you." Kukui gapes at her. He thought for sure that she would want to take her son back home, where she could protect him better.

"Don't get me wrong, i do, want to take him home." Delia paused, hugging Pikachu and Scraggy closer. "But he doesn't have to put up any sort of false pretenses with you..." the door opens, Gary stares at him, he looks unimpressed, his gaze softens as he faces Delia.

"Everyone will be staying over night, their parents are here now." Kukui feels relieved to hear that. "Lillie and Gladion are both sleeping, i left Alakazam with them and Mewtwo is keeping an eye on everything for us." Gary takes a seat on the bed and crosses his arms over his chest, Kukui can see bandages wrapped around his wrists.

"If Ashy stays here with you," Gary frowns in distaste, he really doesn't seem to like Kukui. "I _know_ he will heal from everything. You won't let anything happen to him, at least i know, that when something does happen, you won't let him face it alone." Kukui wonders how Gary can dislike him, yet still endorse him.

"Let's get one thing straight, i don't like you, but for Ash's well being, i am willing to ignore that..." Gary looks away from him. And as far is he is concerned, that's the end of the conversation.

He's somewhere between awake and asleep when he hears quiet whispering. 

"I get it, I'm being childish, you don't have to say anything." There is a second of silence before he can hear a sigh if frustration. "No, it's just..." Kukui drifts off at the silence.

 _"Why couldn't **we** be the ones to help him?" _The voice cracked painfully. Kukui stirred, forced himself to wake up despite feeling like drifting off again.

He tries to push his glasses up only to find them gone, he glances around and sees that Delia is asleep on a bed on the other half of the room. Gary and the pokemon Mewtwo stand by Ash's bed, both glance his way when he sits up. Gary huffs, but says nothing and leans so that he sits on the edge of the bed.

"What?" He asks, drying his face, Kukui keeps his gaze averted as he sits up and checks his pockets for his glasses. They float into view, and for a second he can only stare, before he slips on his glasses.

"Nothing. I'll be back." Kukui says as he limps out of the room to check on his kids and his students. Then he had to find Burnet.

Kukui will speak with Gary when he comes back, he wants to understand just why Gary dislikes him so much. He can figure out one reason, but he knows that it's not the only reason. And hopefully he can help him understand why they can't help Ash. Their personal relationship with him, makes it so much harder for Ash to open up to them, he doesn't want to hurt them anymore. And with Kukui, well, Kukui doesn't have that level of relationship with him. That being said, Kukui was very good at pretending to remain neutral. Even when he felt anything but.

"Kukui!" He hears someone whisper loudly, he whirls around, hits the wall and raises his finger to his lips.

"Shhh!!!" He shushes and sees Burnet She looks offended. He should feel guilty, but he does not want to face Kai's wrath ever again. 

Burnet makes her way over to him, lifts his arm over her shoulder and wraps an arm around her waist.

"Let's hurry and check on the kids, then get you back to bed." Kukui knows the situation is no exactly ideal.

"By the gods, do I love you so much right now." Burnet, concentrating on helping him walk stops, looks up at him, face slowly turning crimson. She splutters.

"You can't just dump that on a woman like that!" She says smacking his bare chest before giggling furiously into her fist.

"Alright you sap, let's hurry." She says and then proceeds to lead him to the rooms where everyone was. He briefly peeked in, talking with the parents if they were awake. And if they weren't, he left after a minute.

When they reached Lillie and Gladion's room, Burnet stopped him before he could enter. 

"They don't know yet. About Lusamine giving custody to you." Kukui looks down, he eyes the flawlessly white tiles, his reflection easily visible on the floor. He looks at his body mottled with bruises, arm in a sling, and leg in a cast. But if he looks deeper?

If he looks deeper, he sees a man in the arms of the woman he loves, about to enter the room with two out of his three kids. He may be out of his depth right now, but this man has determination in his eyes, determination to do right by _his kids._

Kukui knocks on the door before Burnet opens it. Gladion blearily rubs his eyes as he sits up. He checks on Lillie before looking at the door. Alakazam and Silvally watch the door, and Lillie remains asleep.

"Hey." He whispers, Gladion crosses his legs and rests his hands on his ankles. He doesn't meet Kukui's gaze, opting to look at Lillie.

"Gladion?" He bits his lip, and drops his gaze to his hands.

"Even after everything... she still cared about us. She still kept us in her heart..." he exhales shakily. " So why can't i forgive her?" Kukui's heart falls as he tries to reach out to Gladion only to wince as he moves the wrong hand. Burnet is dragging him forward before he can turn to her.

Kukui sits on the edge of the bed and pulls Gladion close. His tears are warm.

But he doesn't make a single sound as he sheds them. Its silent. Kukui and Burnet say nothing , instead they simply hold him, let him know that they were not judging him. That he was safe here, in their arms and in their silence.

* * *

Gladion falls asleep between them, Lillie still hasn't woken up and Kukui looks halfway asleep himself. Burnet chuckles quietly and gets up, she slowly begins to maneuver Gladion into bed. He protests softly, falling silent when Kukui shushes him. They cover him up and glance at one another with conflicted expressions.

Burnet smiles, she should have known that getting Kukui to rest in his own bed would be impossible.

"Goodnight." Though it should actually be good morning by now.

Burnet takes the end of Lillie's bed and shuts her eyes to rest. Today had been a very _long_ day.

_Nanu pulls her aside after she briefly checks on the kids. Gary is sitting on a bench, legs crossed at the knee and writing something on a clipboard._

_"_ I need you to tell me your side of the story. This brat over there wouldn't let me interview the kids, and as two of them are out of commission as well as Kukui and Lusamine, that leaves you _." Burnet nods, feeling gratitude that Gary had stepped in to take care of the kids._

"I'll tell you everything i know." _Burnet says, Gary continues to scribble away as Nanu sits down with her and listens._

_He listens to her start from the beginning._

_The story of the ultra beasts. About Faba abducting Ash, Lillie and 'Nebby', and then what happened after. Ash becoming catatonic, Lillie being beaten to hell and back, and taking back something stolen from her years ago. Her ability to touch pokemon now._

_Finding Gladion, going with him and Kukui to Aether to find Lusamine with the help of Nebby. All the pokemon accompanying them, finding Faba. Rescuing Ash, an ultra wormhole opening. Lusamine being abducted by the UB-01 in place of Gladion and Lillie._

_Burnet tells Nanu about how Aether first played a part in all of this._

_The time when Nebby appeared and the energy Aether tracked to the Altar of the Sunne on Poni island, and how she and Gladion came to the conclusion that Solgaleo could help them reach ultra space. The resolve Gladion and Lillie showed, wanting to rescue their mother. Nebby evolving._

_How the Guardian Deities helping them go to Poni island. Fighting the totem pokemon on their own and then waiting at the altar._

_Ash arriving, along with Kukui and his students. Saying that Nebby was going to be leaving, the Guardian Deities doing something and a beam of light struck Nebby who evolved into the legendary Solgaleo. Nebby giving Ash a z crystal, the Deities changing his z ring and then teaching him a z move._

_The journey into the ultra wormhole and how it affected them all but Lillie and Ash by far had suffered so much more._

_What awaited them in ultra space seemed to shock Nanu. The look of revulsion on his face as she told him about the crystals everywhere and what Ash told them they were made of._

_"_ To take the very essense that makes up every being, and then twist it. _" He says nothing more, instead he looks at his phone, thumb hovering over redial. He shoves his phone into his pocket._

 _"_ Go on. What happened after you learned about this _?" Burnet wonders about the look of sorrow and horror he had when he stared at his phone._

_Burnet tells him about Ash, Lillie, Gladion and Ash's mother going on ahead while they were attacked by a swarm of UB-01. The kids fighting, Gary Oak commanding the legendary Mew and apparently a Mewtwo? To help them and for one of them to go to Ash. That the legendary Mew was actually having trouble against the ultra beasts._

"Is it because they are from a separate realm?" _He seems to ask himself, he doesn't expect her to answer._

_Burnet hesitantly goes on, beside her Gary stops writing and calls out his umbreon and Alakazam. He quietly instructs them to go make rounds across the Aether medical facility and then he turns to face her. He says nothing and leans back against the wall. Waiting._

_She catches his attention by talking about the brilliant move Gary came up with._

_Arcanine, Blastoise and Ninetails using blizzard, hydropump and flare blitz to create an ice tunnel, running while being chased by the ultra beasts. Running into Lusamine's pokemon, and how she stayed behind with the kids to fight the ultra beats while Delia went on with Gary and Kukui._

_About the pokemon recovering after being injured. The ultra beasts' relentless hunt for them. How they had to retreat while helping one another._

_Leading the ultra beasts towards Lusamine so that they could regroup. Running into Delia, who commanded Charizard and Mr. Mime with the ferocity of a mother kangashkan. The use of psychic with flame thrower proved to be deadly and fierce in driving back the ultra beasts for a while as they continued towards Lusamine._

_Using reflect and lightscreen to shield the kids at all times. Burnet really admired her._

_And then suddenly the pokemon dropped and the attacking ultra beasts became docile._

**_"Get on the pokemon! Get on the pokemon!" Delia shrieked, panic high in her voice as she looked to a high up tower. There was smoke billowing off the top._ **

_"_ When we reached the others, Lusamine was already free and Ash had passed out. Shortly after, Lillie and Lusamine also passed out _." Nanu nods, accepting the clipboard from Gary. Gary offers them a short nod and leaves them, the pokemon Mewtwo floats into view and seems to speak with him for a minute before flying off._

 _"_ That's everything _?" He asks, when she nods, he rises to his feet and sighs._

 _"_ Get some rest, later today i will interview those kids _." Burnet nods, but decides remain seated for a few more minutes. She watches Nanu pull out his phone and call someone._

 _"_ How are you doing right now _?" He asks before turning the corner, his expression worried._

_She's still seated when Wicke finds her ten minutes later._

_"_ Thank the Tapus you're alright _." She says as she hugs Burnet tightly. Burnet sighs into her hold and relaxes, feeling at ease now._

 _"_ Lusamine is very weak, doctors are hopeful that she will make a recovery, but until then, she asked Kukui to look after her children _." Burnet hugs Wicke back, Wicke dissolves into tears. She has carried so much, for so long, on her own as she tried to help Lusamine. She knows how much it means to her to have someone really looking after the kids._

_But she can't help but feel that this is the wrong decision._

Twenty minutes later she finds Kukui limping down the hall and he has the nerve to say that he loves her. Burnet almost said it back. She managed to stop herself and smacked him instead. She wonders how to bring up the thoughts lurking in her mind ever since Wicke told her.

She wonders and wonders when Gladion falls asleep between them. Heartsick and so frighteningly frail.

"Kukui..." he snorts, blearily peers at her, adjusting his glasses as he takes in her crossed arms and serious expression. "We need to talk." His expression is blank, he doesn't show any hints of what he's feeling as he nods.

* * *

Gary sighs, shifting into a more comfortable position then stills as Ash's Lycanroc whines at him. 

Gary huffs but settles down for more sleep. It's been a very long day. Using his position as one of Lance's G-men to keep the police officer Nanu, from questioning the traumatized kids. Getting them all settled and keeping them together until their parents arrived.

Then being interrogated by the officer, having to write down a report to submit to Lance, after having already gone through the trouble of writing a report for arresting Faba.

Listening to Professor Burnet talk about their adventure to another world. Watching the officer, really watching him. And seeing what the Professor paid no attention to, what she missed. That officer was more than interested, he was invested. He had someone he cared about, that could have been harmed by the so called ultra beasts.

Gary left them behind, Mewtwo briefly appearing to inform him about the fraying tears in space that were slowly forming.

 _ **"This is not the last we will see of those creatures. I will continue to keep watch."**_ Gary knows that Ash would do what he always does. Fight and protect those that couldn't protect themselves, even when he was not okay. Gary wishes that Ash would be selfish for once. Though, he knows, even when Ash is being selfish, he would still protect someone. 

"Gary?" Ash yawns tiredly, Gary huffs and kicks out at Ash's foot. He twitches, glares at him, then curls up into a tighter ball with an indignant huff.

"Go to sleep." Gary snipes, Ash grumbles as he tugs the blanket over his head. He shifts some more, complaining under his breath before falling quiet, and then within minutes he falls asleep again. Gary curls his arm under his head and closes his eyes.

He should sleep too. It's been a long day, a very, very, long day.

Gary wakes slowly, then all at once as Alakazam sends him an image of the two blonde haired teens running down the hall. Gary is sitting up and yanking the blankets off Ash who is alert in seconds and staring at the door with a look of anxious concern.

"You don't have to see them." Gary says, knowing Ash would never complain about not getting a break but trying to give him an out. Always trying to give him an out. Trying to protect him, when he didn't want protecting and then watching him crumble as the world continued to chip away at him.

Ash seemed to read something in him, and Gary hated that he pressured Ash this way.

"It's okay." _~~'It's okay Gary, if it wasn't, i wouldn't be here.' Ash smiled, and then avoided meeting his gaze immediately after.~~_ Ash didn't meet his gaze now.

Gary was used to pushing down his feelings to avoid hurting Ash. He was used to doing everything he could to protect Ash.

He doesn't get to ask anything more as the door is thrown open and caught before it could slam into the wall.

"How are you doing Ash?" Kukui asks, as if the door had just been violently opened.

"I'm doing fine!" Ash smiles, and Gary looks away from the man who looks relieved by the lie. It wasn't his place now.

Pikachu sits on Gary's shoulder, silent and observing, a silent guard as Gary has always been. At least he still had Pikachu on his side.

"Is everything okay?" There is a moment of silence, Gary gives the two blondes a warning look, they take heed of his warning and take a moment to share a look.

"We were worried about you, you passed out and didn't wake up for nearly a full day." After the last time, of course they would worry. Ash seems to understand this as his smile wavers briefly, hand twitching before moving to pet Pikachu. 

"Mm, it's not the same. I was just tired." He lies with a wide grin, eyes closed as he leans back in a relaxed slouch. Gary says nothing, to agree or disagree with his lie. He wants Ash to stop trying to protect everyone and focus on himself, but then he wouldn't be Ash if he focused on himself. 

"You don't have to lie." Gary glances over at Lillie, she has Snowy in her arms as she looks down at her feet. Ash has dropped his facade, he stares at the ceiling for a moment then laughs.

"I really was just tired." Gary can read the sincerity in his tone of voice even if his eyes don't reflect it, but everyone else stops digging.

"Oh, i guess you don't know." Lillie says, then kneels down and opens her arms.

"Lycanroc, Bayleef, Scraggy, Torracat, come here!" She smiles as the pokemon move towards her aside from Scraggy and Torracat. She hugs them and Ash sits up, eyes practically shining as he grins widely.

"You can touch pokemon Lillie!!!!! You're so amazing!!!!" He laughs as he leans forward and hugs Scraggy and Pikachu close when his mama begins to stir.

"I knew you could do it! I told you, you're so brave!" His smiles is fond and proud. Gary catches sight of Ash's mama grinning at Ash and Lillie. Gary allows himself a small smile at the joy on both their faces.

"How are the others?" Gary answers this, Ash wouldn't accept empty platitudes.

"Scared and bruised. All of them are sleeping still." Gary glances at Alakazam, he uses foresight to glance at the other teens then nods once to Gary. 

"The police officer will be coming back for interviews with all of you in a few more hours." Ash tilts his head slightly towards his mama and Gary nods almost imperceptibly as he returns his Alakazam. 

"Now that everyone has had a rest, let's see about getting everyone something to eat shall we?" She slips out of bed and exits the room with a stern glance at Gary and Ash who make to get up and follow her. Chargrined looks cross their faces as they grudgingly remain seated.

It's quiet, the Alolans, and the unovan Professor share a look. Ash pointedly pretends not to notice as he seats about a foot away from Gary and looks at his tablet. Or rather the tablet that Gary had requested and received from the acting president of Aether.

"Please tell me Lance is not coming." Gary hums as he continues reading what Lance wrote. 

"Nope." He said, emphasis on the p, Ash twitched and side eyed him but said nothing as he scanned the email. He paused, then squinted at Gary who pointedly scrolled up. He let out a silent huff and let him be, he wasn't going to tell him about being a G-men. He muttered a quiet 'Fine, keep your secrets, 'snot like i don't share my secrets with you.' Gary schooled his features but by the very pointed look, Ash could feel his amusement. 

"Pika!" Pikachu jabs his thigh, Gary yelps and rubs his thigh with a pout. Yeah he knows, he could tease but Pikachu was allowed to retaliate. 

"Hm?" Gary looks at the newest email, raises his brow at the redacted information and sighs.

"Come on! You know I'm on a borrowed-" Gary bites his tongue and debates whether it is worth paying for a new tablet or not when Ash takes the tablet and messes with it. Then pointedly begins to groom his pokemon as if he hadn't just broken into Lance's secure network.

"One of these days Ketchum." Gary mutters under his breath and skims the contents as quickly as he can before calling out his Alakazam and throwing the sparking tablet. Alakazam contains the small explosion and Gary huffs.

"Since Lance actually takes your opinions into account, mind telling him to tone down his theatrics?" Ash looks up from where he is combing his fingers through Lycanroc's fur while Scraggy sits on his shoulder and Bayleef rubs her head against his cheek. He looks over to the destroyed tablet and glances away looking utterly spent.

Sometimes mama opens the door at that moment and Ash and Gary nearly fall over themselves to distract her before she can see the destroyed tablet. She has no idea that Gary is a G-man. Would probably castrate Lance if she found out.

Luckily Kukui was such a mess when he had revealed his status that she had not heard him. And officer Jenny took care of the paperwork for him, so he didn't have to out himself again when she was paying attention to everyone.

Alakazam teleported the tablet away before she even laid eyes on it, they were safe. Gary froze as Mimey leered at them from behind her.

"Bayleef, why don't you help out Mama and Mimey?" Good, smother with kindness.

"Alakazam, you too." Mimey pointed his eyes at them but kept silent and let them be. 

"Let's dig in everyone." Gary ate the egg over patty and rice? It was good, and he wasn't a stranger to trying new foods. He did tend to travel a lot, trying the local cuisine was pretty much a part of his life style.

"You should tell the kids what you need to tell them now. Waiting any longer would be unnecessarily cruel." Gary feels surprise, did she already know?

No, she wasn't looking at him, it was Kukui.

What was he keeping quiet about?

The Alolan Professor digs into his sling and pulls out some papers with a small apologetic look.

"Gladion, Lillie, there's something i need to talk to you about." He starts, Gary can already see where this is going. He can see that Ash is slowly figuring it out and where the situation not so close to those two siblings, he knows they would have been able to see it too. He looks away, he'll give them this bit of privacy. 

He does his best to not listen in, Ash clearly is trying his best to not listen as well. But when someone has the ability to read emotions and aura, that's close to impossible. 

"Wicke came to me, and she brought with her a legal representative of your mother's." Gary finds a hand gripping onto the edge of his labcoat and stops himself from reaching back.

"Your mother is very ill and weak, the doctors are hopeful that she will make a full recovery. But it will take _time."_ The way he stressed the word time seemed to be the trigger to the two understanding where he was going. There's a shaky exhale and a teary cough.

" _I hate her_!" The boy, Gladion whispered as he left the room without another word, his face a mask of calm that he did not feel. Gary glanced down at the tug on his coat and saw the way Ash bit his lip, eyes full of pain and remorse.

Gary took a look at the sibling left behind to see her crying into her Alolan vulpix and reaches out despite the way that Ash flinches. He gives his hand a squeeze, nods to Mimey and mama then exits the room with Alakazam. 

Gary finds Gladion several halls away, clinging to the chimera pokemon that Grampa had actually cried about. Not that Ash knew, but Gary did. He doesn't know how people could continue to try and pervert the forces of nature with their greed.

"Don't mind me." Gary says as he leans against the wall and pulls out his phone to check his messages now that it was charged.

_Whoops._

Several missed calls, texts, emails, he had only glanced for the ones from Lance earlier.

He dialed his voicemail and listened to the several increasingly panicked calls from his grandpa and from Tracey, Misty, Brock and even a few from Lance.

"Hey gra-" Gary pulled the phone away from his ear as grandpa shouted in worry and asked after him, Ash and his sometimes mama.

"We're fine. We just slept the day away. Everything's okay now gramps." Gary could feel Gladion staring but continued to remain where he was until the other boy was ready to either talk or come back to the room.

He listened to his grandpa ask question after question until the phone was taken from him and Tracy put him on speaker phone.

"Everyone's safe. No major injuries, no one died, and no, i can't go into detail right now." Gary was planning to email everything he could before they had an information block dropped on them. His grampa seemed to understand as they hung up and Gary quickly opened up his email and began to send as much information as he could with any photo that wasn't blurred to hell.

"Your grandfather worries about you a lot." Gary hums as he sends several emails to ensure that they are delivered and then begins to systematically scrub his phone clean.

"I'm all that he has left, of course he'd worry. I worry about him too, but that doesn't mean I don't worry about others. Gramps may be my only blood family left but i still have Ash and his Mama." Gladion looks down, Gary throws him a line. "Family doesn't end in blood, family is about the people that you connect with. That you share a home with." Gary thinks about Professor Rowan, about Tracey, and the people of Pallet that stepped in as aunts and uncles when his own parents passed. Of Ash who had cried with him over the loss of his parents and promised to share his mama. He thinks of Ash's mama who was sometimes his mama too.

"We're have more family out there than we think we do." Gladion sighs, rubbing his sleeves over his eyes.

"I need another minute." Gary crosses his arms over his chest and closes his eyes.

"Take all the time you need, no one is going anywhere." 

* * *

Gary and Gladion come back in and they are talking about cooking. Cuisine from other regions and how other regions go about trying to recreate the food. Not too long after that two police officers came in to interview them. 

It was decided that Ash would go last, so he did. Everyone being interviewed being taken out of the room one at a time until it was just Ash.

Ash gave the police officer Jenny and her partner officer Nanu, though there was some surprised looks leveled at him when he introduced himself, the details about everything. About what happened when Faba came, to waking up and realizing that he had to help Gladion and Lillie. He told them about Nebby, and how Nebby was entrusted to him by Solgaleo and Lunala and how Nebby evolved into Solgaleo. 

Going to ultra space. What the place was made of. Ash shuddered, the feeling of the clawing empty abyss pulling at his aura, trying to drain him dry, the fusion of Lusamine and the ultra beast.

The pokemon that were under its control and how he could feel Lusamine fading like a withering flame. How he let his pokemon go one by one, the talk that Lillie had with her mother and how she had broken through. But Ash knew better, had been through so much and had been prepared for the ultra beast to take full control.

He isn't interrupted at all, which is a relief, and then as the officers leave, he gets tackled by his pokemon before he can hear the officer's parting words. Though seeing Gary, Kukui-hakase and Burnet-hakase so angry, he finds he doesn't mind. He doesn't look at mama at all. Nope.

 _That way lies danger_.

"They said we could all go home after the interviews. We were done last." Ash huffs, he had been hoping to check on the others but fine. Ash freezes as he sees the helicopters and the boats that are offered to them to get off Aether foundation property.

Charizard nudges his back and he releases the tension in his shoulders. He rubs Charizard's snout as it leans on his shoulder and waves at the others until it's just him, mama and Gary left.

"I'll let you and Charizard spend some time together." Mama says as she follows Gary to his Skarmory. Ash catches sight of Mewtwo hidden in the clouds and keeping an eye on them. Ash watches them take off and continues to rub Charizard's snout while he slowly recalls his pokemon one by one until its just Pikachu, Mew and Charizard. 

"Three steps forward, four step back." Ash whispers to himself as he looks down at his shoes. Charizard and Pikachu rub their cheeks to his to try and cheer him up.

Ash smiles, he was so lucky to have pokemon that understood him so well.

Ash enjoys the flight on Charizard, Mew and Mewtwo fly beside them. The clouds above then, the ocean below them, stretching on for miles. It's peaceful. He wishes that this moment could last forever.

Its over both sooner and longer than he thought it'd be. Charizard almost doesn't let him down, choosing to stoop into the door way and peer inside while Ash hangs from his neck with claws protectively cradling him close. He huffs and lets Ash down, blowing a stream of his weakest fire at Ash's head. He laughingly pats his hat to put out the fire and brushes off the soot.

There is a sort of tension between Gary and Kukui-hakase, Kukui-hakase drops it when he sees Ash but Gary's seems to intensify. 

"Good, your here, there's something that Burnet and I need to tell you kids." Gary is already sneering. Uh-oh. Gary only does that when he thinks someone is being really stupid.

"Burnet and I had a talk early this morning." Ash can see Gladion is already really upset, Lillie looks between the two hakases with a small shake of her head. Ash knows that sometimes he can miss things about people and the way that they feel. But he doesn't think he is misunderstanding this.

Kukui-hakase and Burnet-hakase really care for eachother. Their auras are in synch, in a way that he rarely has seen.

"We've decided to take a break from our relationship." Ash feels an immense wave of guilt crash into him, it leaves him reeling as he tries to find his balance. A hand briefly rests on his arm and he flails back as he tries to get away only to trip on a stray paintbrush.

He nearly collides with the wall but Mew catches him with psychic and he looks back to see Burnet pull her hands back and smile at him. 

"I'm sorry!" Ash blurts out, he can see Lillie shaking her head as she looks to Gladion who stares at Kukui and says nothing. He reaches out and grabs hold of Lillie's hand without breaking eye contact.

"None of this is your fault, we just have more responsibilities right now. And our relationship would have taken a back seat anyway." Burnet explains, Gary snorts.

"Right, so now that you have all this free time, you can focus on being a proper regional Professor?" He asks in a biting tone, Ash looks to him in surprise at the hostility. Gladion and Lillie say nothing and wait for Kukui-hakase to respond.

"We're not going to stop seeing each other, it's just for a little bit. Until we can all get used to these new dynamics." He placates, but Gary only seems to get more irritated and mama decides to cut in.

"If that's the case, then Gary and i could stay the duration of the week to help you settle in more. Burnet could sleep in the guest room while Gary and i take the couches." She smiles, clapping her hands.

"No, you two can take the guest room, Burnet can take my room and i can take the couch." Ash wasn't sure about anything anymore. 

He thought he was doing better. He thought that Kukui-hakase and Burnet-hakase would get married like Lillie planned. He thought that Lusamine, accepting her kids again, would come back into their lives. 

But it looks like everything was slowly falling apart.

Three steps forward.

And four steps back.


	22. Sometimes When I Close My Eyes I Pretend I'm Alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: echo - jason walker

Its four in the morning, the day after they had come back from Ultra space. Ash can't sleep anymore.

He sits outside on the steps, Mewtwo joins him, staring up at the moon light. They sit silently and watch the stars twinkling.

 _ **"A human approaches, Mew is with them."**_ Ash looks up and he sees Anakala. He can feel his heart pounding loudly as he climbs to his feet. He can feel nervousness, and regret. There is bitter anger and resentment. 

~~_A hand is reaching out, crying out desperately._~~

~~_A shriek, a wail of pain._ ~~

_~~A splash of bright purple coating his face. A scream building in him.~~ _

~~_Bronze eyes staring blankly up at nothing._ ~~

~~~~Ash flinches back, Anakala comes to a stop, he had his hood up and his hands in his pockets. He said nothing, taking a single step back, and calling out Golisopod.

"Too much?" He asks nonchalantly, the feelings becoming muddled and murky. 

_**"Go inside."**_ Ash looks to Mewtwo, he stuffs his shaking hands into his pockets and shakes his head.

"I'm okay, I-" Ash flinches as he feels the phantom feeling of something wrapping around him. 

"Pikapi." Pikachu calls out, he is sitting on Gary's shoulder. Gary leans against the open door with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Get inside Ashy." Ash makes to protest but Mewtwo, Pikachu and Gary all stare at him, Anakala shuffles back some more. Ash practically flees inside.

He runs to the back of the house and out the door, Pikachu runs after him. Mew and Torracat keep pace with him and he runs.

He runs until the murky feelings fade.

He runs until the protective fury is a distant spark.

He runs until the worry cloaking home is a distant beacon.

He runs until he can't run anymore, and then a pressure builds in his chest. The first time it has come since it vanished when he had entered ultra space.

Ash brings his hands to his chest and breathes. He listens to the sounds around him. The sound of water running, unimpeded. The rustling of the leaves in the wind. The sounds of nocturnal pokemon scurrying about. The scampering sound that Pikachu's paws make as he approaches Ash.

There is a feeling, jittery, and so full of swirling emotions he has to take a moment to breathe before it settles down and fills him. There is concern and love. Sorrow and joy. A sense pf curiosity that leaves a tang in his mouth but no questions are asked. 

_**The sun shines bright overhead. Zygarde stares, curious and then nods before pointing its head towards a root that is slowly growing. Pulsing red roots, visible, extending past where the lone root is visible.** _

Ash blinks and he is staring up at the moon, Tapu Lele flies above him. Greninja hums in acknowledgement and worriedly nudges their bond as if to reassure himself that it was still there.

"I'm still here, I'm still here, promise." Ash whispers, Pikachu crawls up onto his shoulder and rubs their cheeks together.

"We should head back, huh?" He asks, Pikachu says nothing. Mew and Torracat curl around him and stare up at the moon while Lele dances. 

"The world is so very big. So many kinds of people and pokemon live in it." Lele floats down, watching him, Mew watches them with a curious head tilt.

"I love the people and the pokemon in this world so very much." Lele sings, soft and soothing to hear. Ash stands in the forest, under the moonlight, watching the Tapu Lele sing and feels at peace.

"I'm not going to keep running away like before. I learned so much here, and I'm not going to let it all go to waste." Ash declares, Pikachu smiles at him with pride and Torracat offers him a smirk.

On his way back, Ash stops when he feels four familiar presences. He glances over his shoulder to see Team Rocket standing a bit a ways from him. They nod at him then turn and leave. Ash smiles to himself and continues the trek back home. 

"One day i hope they can settle down in a place like this." 

Ash follows behind his mama, he wonders if he's annoying her. He also wonders if the others think its strange. Mimey does everything by hand, Ash hadn't flinched when he used psychic but Mimey refused to use it. Pikachu never left his shoulder, letting him know he was beside Ash at all times. 

Gary also acted as a buffer as he had back in Pallet or whenever they traveled abroad. Was he too much trouble? He was trying, he really was. He didn't want to cause anyone anymore grief.

"Why don't we go tell everyone that it's time to eat?" Mama smiles, she radiates peace and doesn't move when he reaches out and slips his arms through hers so that their arms are linked. His elbow tingles and slowly the feeling crawls up his arm but he doesn't move away as they make their way towards the basement. 

"Breakfast is ready!" His mama shouts, Kukui-hakase calls back that he'll come up. Ash can already hear the lecture mama prepares for him for being downstairs.

Lillie and Gladion are climbing down from their rooms, Mama frowns as she tries to figure out where Burnet-hakase is.

"Burnet is outside in the ocean with Rotom." Gary says from where he is slouched on the table with several empty mugs of coffee and strewn about paper. Ash thinks back to the night they came home from the hospital, Kukui-hakase and Burnet-hakase telling the kids that they were going to take a break from their relationship. 

It's been three days since then. And he feels so guilty, so, so guilty, and he isn't the only one. Lillie and Gladion too felt guilt. Burnet-hakase and Kukui-hakase were quick to tell them that no, it was not their fault, and no, they were not breaking up. Just taking a break, because now both of them were going to be really busy and their relationship would fall to the wayside anyways.

_"This is because of us though... isn't it?" Ash whispers, tucked between Lycanroc and Bayleef. Lillie cuddles Snowy and Umbreon while Gladion pets Silvally._

_"Burnet has more responsibility at Aether now that mother is out of commision, as does Kukui." Gladion looks down, eyes swimming with hurt._

_"She gave us up." He whispered, eyes glistening with tears, Ash's heart gave a little throb. Why had she done that? She'd accepted them. She had come back to them._

_"Gladion..." he shakes his head, and Ash falls silent. His hands shake as he hugs Lycanroc closer._

_"The world moves on... we're the ones... who've come to a stop." Ash bites his lip, Lillie's breath hitches._

_"And now we're making others stop too." She cries in silence, in the quiet of Ash's room. Mama and Gary had taken the guest room and Kukui-hakase had given up his room for Burnet-hakase to sleepover while he took the couch._

_"Three steps forward... four back." Ash whispered as he rubbed his face into Lycanroc's fur. He remembers this feeling all to well._

"I can go get her." Ash volunteers, mama smiles at him. She doesn't ask if he's sure, doesn't hold him back or even look worried. She just ruffles his hair and turns to take away the cup of coffee that Gary was reaching for. Ash feels fond exasperation as he makes his way towards the beach. Pikachu snickers into his paws.

"I'm glad mama convinced Burnet-hakase to stay. Do you think..." Ash removes his shoes as Pikachu's paws grip tightly to his shirt while he wades into the water. "We can stage another intervention? I know that they say it isn't our fault..." Ash swims a little to the red floater that indicates where Burnet is.

"Pikapi." Ash feels Pikachu rub his forehead to his chin and sighs. How can it not be their fault when they decided to take a break after Gladion and Lillie freaked out over having guardianship transferred to Kukui-hakase. And Ash had nearly brained himself trying to get away from Burnet-hakase when she stood near him.

Ash finds Burnet-hakase taking pictures with Rotom of the local sea life. He swims closer for a look, excitement rising in his chest as he looks at all the pokemon. Burnet-hakase catches sight of him and smiles. He returns the smile, despite the distance between them, they still are excited to learn new things about pokemon.

They swim back up for air Ash and Pikachu gasping desperately for air, despite having held their breaths for a long time. 

"Breakfast is ready." Burnet-hakase thanks him as they swim back to shore. They are maybe twenty feet from the shoreline when they are lifted up out of the water. White wings, so pristine and cool to the touch are beneath him. Burnet-hakase is shouting gleefully while Rotom takes pictures. 

_**"Are you well C̶͈̰͈͛̓͐̔̽̚̕͜h̶͉̞͕̲̺͖̬̦͔͙̀̏̑̑͜ǒ̸̢̻̼̩͚̭̟̥̼̭s̴̪͓̹̥̘̻̈ȩ̴̢̙̟̳̮̊̌̐͂͌͊́̒͜͝͝n̶̛͙̰̬̺̞̘̿̉͆̒͑͂ ̶̡͎͖̟̰̭̭̝̼̔̏͆̽͗̋O̸̧̦̝̙̖̳̹̘̖͑͊́̌̏̋̔̚͘͜͠n̴͕̰͔̤͝ḙ̵̡̥̮̣͍̒͋?"**_ He inhales sharply. It feels like all the airs been driven out of him. Ash presses his face into the smooth feathers, wind gently blowing past him. Pikachu chirps, chattering angrily at Lugia before calmly nuzzling closer to Ash. Ash just breathes.

That's all he could do. Long after Lugia lands and Burnet-hakase leaves, Ash stays plastered to Lugia and breathes. And Lugia, Lugia hums, soft and pleasant. Grounding and safe.

Ash feels a steady presence. One that has always been a buffer when he really needed it. Especially when he said he didn't need it. Would he ever outgrow the need to lean on his best friend? He couldn't continue to burden him, not when they had their own lives to live.

Not when Ash had made Gary put a stop to his dream for _months on end._

"Ready to come down?" Gary asks without preamble, ready to wait all day if he had to, Ash slides down until his feet touch the ground.

Lugia hums, resting his nose against Ash's forehead before crooning as he slowly returns to the water.

"Let's go walk around." Ash pulls down his hat, watching Pikachu playfully chase Umbreon around while Gary aimlessly walks forward. He doesn't push Ash, never has, he doesn't coddle him, never will, he's a steady presence.

Sometimes harsh to others but always trying to make sure that Ash is never put into a position similar to what made him so afraid.

It's because of this attitude, that Ash could never find it in himself to speak about what happened. He never wanted to make him feel the type of pain that Ash felt.

"Pass!" Ash smiles as his tribe swarms them, Gary snorts and rolls his eyes.

"You really are some type of human pokemon." He mutters, then follows the passimian tribe without another word.

Ash looks at his hands, he opens and closes them. Turning them over a few times as he does so.

"I trust them. I _trust_ them." He can feel his frustration mounting. His eyes grow warm, his nose tingles and then his vision begins to blur as he hugs his knees to his chest.

He feels shame burning in his chest.

"I trust them, so why?" Ash chokes, his throat feels tight, a hand rubs his head, a soft grunting noise seemingly asking after him.

"Pass?" Ash shakes as he huddles further into the furry embrace. 

"Don't think of this as me being cruel," Gary starts from where he reclines against the tree beside him and his second in command of the Passimian tribe. "But you did just go through all this trauma. Even they are affected, I'm sure you've seen it." Ash knows. He's seen the way that Gladion and Lillie hover near each other. Near him, at the distance he is comfortable with.

The way Kukui-hakase checks on them each night, and then somehow knows when they have nightmares and sits at the table with his laptop and tapu coco ready for them.

"It's going to take time, and despite what you think Ashy," Gary sits up, he meets Ash's eyes with a soft look of understanding. "This is a new trauma, even if it mirrors past events." Ash knows. He _knows_ this, and still he hates that the people he had shared a home with, the people he has touched and been touched by...

Can no longer touch him, without him feeling as if he were burning.

Even now, Gary can barely touch him at times. And it was through sheer willpower, love and the urge to never see his mama cry, that he had not flinched away from her. It's what had him reaching out to her. Resting his head on her lap, leaning on her, even as it felt like millions of joltiks were crawling all over him.

"I just want this to be over." Gary doesn't hesitate. He never does, even when Mama chids him.

Even when Kukui-hakase stares at him, projecting his disdain for the way Gary handled him.

And were it anyone else, it would trigger that brokeness that sat in his chest. But this was Gary, his best friend. His _brother._ The one who used to sleepover whenever he wanted.

Who stood up to Ash's bullies and taught him to throw a punch.

The one who explored the forests near Pallet and sat with him when he cried about Sam's Arcanine passing.

Gary rests his hand on Ash's arm, there is warmth tinged with sorrow, helplessness and love. There is always love, even when he declared that he was no longer Ash's friend.

So he doesn't move away. Even when his skin begins to crawl, and itch. Even as he feels the warmth become a scorching heat, he remains still. He bears it until it feels as if he is being consumed.

His vision tunnels, and his hands won't stop shaking.

"Breathe." The simple command, something so easy to do, and he'd _forgotten._ He inhales, feeling dizzy with relief.

Gary is once more reclining against the trunk of the tree. He's looking up, giving Ash a semblance of privacy as he wipes his face clean.

He knows that he will not be hurt, he believes them and his own instincts. And yet his body betrays him. His mind plays tricks on him. And his family is suffering.

Gary is wearing his labcoat, despite having climbed this tree to the top, he wouldn't take it off. Ash knows he hurt him. He isn't careful with his strength when he's afraid. Gary didn't say anything, didn't complain, didn't show pain. He feels guilty, and tries not to, Gary would probably roll up a magazine and smack him with it.

Ash doesn't apologize, but he does offer one of the berries he had been given when he'd showed up unannounced to the tribe. 

Ash glances up at the clear blue sky, wind ruffles his hair, he closes his eyes and feels life everywhere. It is thriving, and so very alive.

They had left the empty void that is ultra space behind. Yet somehow it feels as if part of the abyss had followed them back.

"I want to see Anakala, I don't want to avoid him anymore." Gary sniffs, and looks up at the sky.

"He doesn't mind, but he will probably be less murdery to see you." Ash laughs, Anakala has what Gary called 'Resting murder face'.

Ash watches the water pass, Charizard was focused on getting to Ula'Ula island, Pikachu resting between his horns as they quietly talked. Probably about him. Ash gazed at his reflection. Troubled brown eyes stared back at him, he reached down, fingers skimming lightly across the surface of the water which disrupted his reflection.

He hasn't seen this face in a while, last time it was him, but not. He wonders how his mirror self is doing. The other him, and Pikachu.

Was the mirror world in any way connected to the reverse world? To ultra space? How did it exist along side their own? What dictated the flow of events?

Ash lifts his hand and tucks it under his chin, resting his cheek on his arms as be glances up to see Gary on Fearrow, flying just above him, keeping an eye on Ash. He wonders what it is about Kukui-hakase that seems to rub Gary the wrong way. He knows that he dislikes the fact that Kukui-hakase and Burnet-hakase took the easy solution to their relationship. And he knows that Gary is still mad at him for leaving without telling. But there was something else there.

Brock would know, maybe he should call him.

"Pikapi?" Ash's gaze flickered over to Pikachu, they were nearing Shady house, which was actually more like a mansion now that he thought about it. But it didn't look anything like it used to, from what Lillie said. Mew rose up off his back and nods to him when he sends them a questioning look.

"Anakala is doing the same thing we are. Trying to heal the broken pieces." Ash murmurs into his elbow, remembering that suffocating feeling, the terror and the flash of unseeing bronze eyes. 

"Anakala was hurt too." Ash closes his eyes and decides to rest his eyes for a few minutes.

Gary looks around, he says nothing but his quirked brow and crossed arms say everything.

"What exactly does this guy even do?" Ash paused as he made to open the door, which would be a first.

"Uh..." Ash turned to Pikachu who shrugged, then to Mew who giggled. "I 'unno." He responds with a shrug and opens the door after double checking that there wasn't anyone close by.

"Why do i even bother sometimes?" Gary sounds exasperated as follows behind with a soft laugh. Lycanroc, Torracat, and Bayleef follow at his heels, while Rowlet sleeps in his backpack and Scraggy sits in Gary's coat pocket. Scraggy catches his eyes and climbs out of the pocket, then hops down to the floor and scurries to Ash's side. Ash scoops him up as they reach a set of stairs, large and grandiose if in a state of slight disrepair. 

How much would it cost to repair Shady house?

There's a skittering sound and Ash takes off after Mew.

"Golisopod!" Ash shouts as he catches sight of the large pokemon when he reaches the open door. He tackles the large bug type and laughs when he is lifted off the floor. Golisopod's hugs remind him of Goodra's hugs, of Snorlax, Infernape, Sceptile and Gliscor. 

"Enough with the mushy stuff, you came to see this guy with a mysterious job." Then under his breath muttered something that sounded like hobo. But Ash was going to be the better person and feign deafness.

Gary was just grouchy cause mama didn't let him drink coffee.

Anakala still had his hood up, his room was clean now but the curtains were drawn. He was sitting at a desk with a few books open, and his phone in one hand. He lets out an explosive sigh as Mew is suddenly in his face and Ash can't bring himself to step closer to grab Mew. Golisopod sets him down and its as if his feet are rooted to the floor.

 **Breathe, no harm will come to you. Friends here. Only friends.** Ash hadn't realized how much he had missed hearing Greninja until now. He can relax.

Anakala had turned his chair around, Golisopod was already behind him, trilling something that sounded like 'I'm here.'

Ash fidgets, Gary takes a few steps closer, a hand closes around his wrist and he can feel heat, all consuming, slowly begin to crawl up his wrist. 

A sudden feeling of calm slams into him and he can breathe. The change is so abrupt, his legs give out and Bayleef catches him before he slams into the floor. Ash looks up and Anakala slowly pulls his hood off with a grimace. 

"Listen, I understand, better than anyone else." Ash holds Bayleef as he sees pain in those gray eyes.

"But i trust them. I know that, but that doesn't stop me from-" Ash chokes, he shakes his head, his white hair flopping over his face.

"The road to recovery is not a linear path. There are bumps and blocks. Sometimes you have to back track but when you get passed the hurtle, you're so much stronger. I recently had a setback too." Anakala explains, cheek pillowed against his fist. He's sporting a black eye and split lip, his knuckles are wrapped and he has Golisopod slumped on top of him.

Ash bites his lip and looks down, Scraggy looks up at him from his shoulder, Pikachu from the floor. 

"Can i ask you a question?" Ash asks, Gary isn't looking at him, he's facing the other way to give Ash some privacy. He nods, eyes flicking over to Gary for a second before settling on Ash. Ash hugs Bayleef closer, the feeling of suffocation pressing down on him. Ash swallows back his question.

"What do you do?" He asks instead, Gary snorts behind him, Anakala smirks and he looks like Jessie and James when they are taking down other organizations that differ from team rocket. 

"Now that's for me to know, and you to figure out. Now get going brats." Ash huffs, he can see a hint of gratitude in his eyes for not asking but Ash pretends not to see it. He didn't need to be thanked for something like this.

"I cant believe you haven't figured out what this guy's job is." Ash turned to Gary, he was looking at something but when Ash tried to peer past him, he pointedly blocked the way with his Fearrow. Ash huffs in irritation.

"Fine, be that way." Pikachu launches himself at Gary with a spark, he hears him yelp. Ash rubs his cheek to Pikachu's when he climbs onto Ash's shoulder.

"You'd best sleep with one eye open Ketchum!" Ash laughs as Charizard scoops him up in his arms.

"That's if i sleep tonight!" He yells back, just as they shoot off into the air. Ash barely catches sight of a member of Team Skull in the distance and hopes that they don't cause any trouble.

* * *

Kukui was worried for Ash. He seemed so disappointed in himself. He was so proud of Lillie, so joyful that she could touch pokemon. How frustrating must it have been to be back at square one, or rather less than that? 

It was upsetting to see Ash shadowing his mother so closely. He would try his hardest to get close to anyone and would end up shaking badly if he didn't flinch away. He would smile, clenching his hands and apologize. It hurt to see the regret in his eyes every single time he flinched back.

He never seemed to give up, always trying to take another step forward. Stubbornly digging in his heels at his own expense. And the young Professor Gary Oak, well, Kukui had mixed opinions about him. He was a good kid, looking out for Ash's well being. But he pushed too hard. He never seemed to hesitate to reach out to him even when Ash flinched back, he would still grab hold of him. He would glare at Kukui, had already admitted that he hadn't liked him, and Kukui had yet to address that.

The only thing that Kukui is happy to say was not affected, was Ash's appetite. He still ate twice a day, but he was eating every day and sometimes he would eat something around the early morning. 

"No, Mimey, this is my chore! You're a guest!" Ash grunts as he clings to the laundry basket, Kukui watches Ash slide across the floor as Mr. Mime pulls the laundry basket without any trouble. 

It's pretty comical.

Pikachu is laughing hysterically on the floor while Scraggy sits in the laundry basket and watches the scene unfolding without a care. Lycanroc and Bayleef try to help Ash, but it proves to be useless as all three are dragged across the floor. Ash pouts as he is dragged the whole way to the laundry room.

Gary drops his pen as he pauses on his way to the kitchen. He flips around and walks back down the hall but Kukui can hear laughter. Ash walks out of the laundry room with Bayleef and Lycanroc under his arms.

"I know where I'm not wanted!" He says with a huff as he makes his way to Pikachu, prodding him with a toe before they head towards his room.

Kukui sees that Ash won't meet his eyes, and Gladion and Lillie didn't let him out of their sights.

He knows that they had gone to visit the people that had taken Gladion in, and after that, they had taken to making sure to always be within seeing distance of one another.

He wonders what they will do when the kids start school next week. He glances at the expense report for his budget that he was filling out for this quarter for both school, and his work as a Professor, and sees the small stars that were drawn in the corner by Principal Oak to show when Lillie started living with him.

Stars.

_"Origami?" Kukui asks Professor Willow, the older Professor smiles kindly at him as he pulls out a few sheets from his travel pack._

_"You heard right. Origami, the art of folding paper, now watch my young apprentice." Professor Willow folds several pieces of paper into elegant cranes, graceful flower and perfect little stars. While folding each one he would correct Kukui here and there._

_"You need to have an outlet, or you'll burst from all the pressure you end up under from being a regional Professor. It's why i chose to travel and help trainers." Kukui hummed as he looked at his wonky crane, his crumpled flower and his less than stellar star._

_"Keep at it, with practice, you'll be great at this in no time!"_

"I think i still have some origami paper around here." Kukui mumbles to himself as he shuffles through the paper work to see what still needs to be done. He sets aside what has completed and then buckles down to finish his work.

Ash fidgets, he is sitting on the floor surrounded by his pokemon, Charizard curled around him while he looks at the colorful paper that Bayleef had passed him.

Gladion and Lillie sat at the table and looked at the paper before them. They shared a look, then focused on him, the looks in their eyes tore at him.

It was like, they thought he'd disappear if they looked away from him for too long.

Gary was passed out on the table, gripping onto a mug as if his life depended it. Ash's Scraggy is casually sitting on the table prodding at the poor brat.

"I learned this when i was about twenty, from the Professor i studied under. It helps, sometimes, to just focus on something. Busy hands make something something." Kukui laughs, No one else laughs.

He feels a little disappointed but he kind of expected that reaction, so he leaves it alone and instead begins to show the kids how to do origami. Ash doesn't pick up any of the paper, Charizard's head is resting on his lap and Ash has his arms wrapped around his Charizard. 

Kukui blinks as Ash's eyes flash red, an eerie bright red that almost seems to glow. When he blinks, brown eyes stare at him without a hint of red. Kukui blinks, Ash blinks, Pikachu points at him then gestures down without once breaking eye contact.

Kukui looks away, brown eyes continue to stare long after he has looked away.

"Sometimes you need an outlet, having something to do with your hands helps with all the restless energy. I'm sure you've see me do this a few times during class, Lillie." She nods mutely, eyes focused on his hands as he folds a star. Slowly, making sure that they follow along when he starts on a second one. He glances at Ash, Ash has his head resting on Charizard's horns, a paper dangling between fingertips as Pikachu sits on the floor folding paper.

Gary sits up, paper sticking to him, he peels it off with a yawn. He grabs Scraggy and makes his way towards Ash and Charizard.

He drops down and reclines against Charizard's body, passing over Scraggy and taking the sheet from Ash's hand.

"Must have a lot of time on your hands." He comments idly, Kukui very pointedly does not respond.

Pikachu has several origami pokemon surrounding him. Gary has made a fortune teller, he turns to Ash and the two have fun with the fortune teller. Ash taking it and Gary picking.

"Wait! That's a dirty trick!" Ash complains as he reads a flap, Gary smirks and Ash pouts as he crosses his arms over his chest. "Be that way then." He huffs and goes back to hugging Charizard. 

Kukui watches their interactions with trepidation. Why did he continue being close to Ash, when he flinched? Why did he push for contact when Ash was frightened of it? What did he have to gain? Didn't he realize he was hurting Ash?

"Thanks." Ash mutters softly and closes his eyes. Gary smiles, it's small and sincere. Then he catches Kukui staring and he smirks.

* * *

Gladion pushes Lillie into the kitchen and shuffles into a seat that Kukui has already set some cups of tapu coco beside. Kukui is typing away on his laptop, silent despite having heard their panicked shuffling upstairs after waking from nightmares.

Lillie has one of Ash's journals on hand and quietly reads.

Gladion grabs some of the paper left on the table and begins to fold. He loses himself in the hypnotic motions of folding and creasing. Little by little relaxing until he has several stars, cranes, butterfrees and a single frog. He crosses his arms and rests his chin on his arms as he uses a single finger to make his frog hop around.

Kukui chuckles softly and plays some soft music on his laptop.

Gladion is about to brush his teeth when he finds it. A single cheerful yellow star with the word 'You' on it.

He puts it out of mind when he pockets it and vows to ask about it.

At the table, everyone is gathered around Lillie who holds a pink star with the word 'Are' on it. Ash also has one, a white star with the word 'You' written on it. Kukui is behind this. Even if he looks as stupefied as the others, Gladion knows its him.

Gladion asks for the supplies for grooming. Lillie is marvelling at another star, this one peach with the word 'You' on it.

He simply stares at Kukui and levels his best unimpressed glare at him but the man simply sips his coffee and types on his computer as he adjusts his propped up leg.

Gladion has barely opened the door when a star lands on his head. It's gold and has the word 'Are' written on it.

Ash suddenly drops down from the ceiling, landing in a crouch with a brush and a bottle in his hands. Gladion peers up at the ceiling to see that Mew and Mewtwo are both freshly groomed and admiring their fur. Ash grins at him and takes a few steps towards him before flinching back as he makes to reach out. He huffs with an irritated look on his face and crosses his arms over his chest with a grunt.

"Mewtwo wanted to talk with Silvally." Gladion peers up at the psychic type then glances back at Silvally who nods at him. Silvally vanishes as does the two legendary pokemon, he nearly panics but Ash's aborted movements and hiss of frustration catch his attention. He relaxes because he trusts Ash.

Then Ash turns and faces the door, hands opening and closing as he shifts behind Gladion. Gladion props the bucket and brushes on his left hip and opens the door to reveal Hau and Gladion _knows_ that Hau is aware that something happened to them.

"I brought you berries!" He smiles, though it falters when he peers behind Gladion at Ash. "I also wanted to check how you were all doing." He gives Gladion a once over and he knows that Hala is aware of what happened. Most likely because of Officer Jenny. Nanu wouldn't have talked about it.

He can hear Ash shifting anxiously behind him and wonders if it would be cruel to invite Hau in or to turn him away. The option is taken from him by Gary.

"You have an Alolan Raichu, i have questions." Gladion accepts the bag of berries and steps back to let Hau in. He sees that Gary is blocking Ash from view, and Kukui is watching them with intense focus. Gladion almost wants to poke at the animosity the two seem to share for one another but reluctantly leaves it alone.

Hau calls out his Raichu and Gladion is suddenly reminded of Ash's love of pokemon as he steps past Gary and throws himself onto the floor before the Raichu. He's petting the Raichu, heaping copius amounts of praise and wonder along side his Pikachu. It's sweet.

"You've gotten fluffier!!! And your tail!" He coos happily, Hau smiles as he answers questions. Gary shifts so that Ash is half hidden behind him.

Silvally nudges him, Gladion sets down his bucket and pulls out a nanab berry to feed Silvally. He drags his fingertips lightly over Silvally's snout and smiles at the happy snort.

"Anyway, I've got to get going." Hau pauses, uncertainly as he looks at Ash, Ash pets Raichu a couple more times, then looks up at Hau with a huff. "Give me a month!" He declares, a hand on his hip while the other holds up a single finger with a determined smile. Hau grins.

"I'll be waiting then, at out usual spot!" Gladion bumps fists with him on the way out and watches Ash and Gary talk about Kantonese Raichu and Alolan Raichu. 

Gary heckles Kukui when he joins in on the conversation, Ash Laughs and the two stop their needling.

Gladion is getting ready for bed when he finds a silver star with the word 'STRONG' written on it and lines it up with the other two. "You Are STRONG" Gladion hums to himself and opens the door to see Kukui waiting outside the bathroom with his crutches. 

"Thanks." He smiles then whistles innocently and shuffles into the bathroom. Gladion lets him be, he winders how long it will take Ash and Lillie to figure it out.

* * *

Lillie is staring at the star in her palm when brother climbs up onto the loft. She tucks the pink star with the word 'Are' **,** on it into her nightstand and follows brother to his room. They feel safer staying within sight of each other and at least one door between them and the door outside. It also helps that Professor Kukui is sleeping on the couch downstairs. 

"Goodnight brother." Lillie says as she climbs into his bed with Snowy. Brother curls up on the single chair couch in the corner and pulls his blanket up to his shoulders.

"Night Lillie." He murmurs softly as he checks on his pokemon all curled up together in the corner.

He smiles, then tucks himself into a corner of the couch and falls asleep.

Lillie is woken up by fear and pain. Snowy licks her hands with an apologetic look and Lillie smiles.

"Thank you." A spike of fear startles her, she quickly turns to face her brother and sees Silvally is already beside brother. He nudges him awake, brother clings to him and frantically climbs to his feet before catching sight of her and relaxing.

He sits down beside her and breathes. Lillie reaches for his hand and can feel the shaking of her own hands slowly come to a stop.

 ~~MAKEITSTOPIMSCAREDIMSCARED~~!!!!!!!!!

Then terrified screams shatter the silence and the two are running down the stairs and practically tripping over one another to climb down the ladder.

Sobs follow as does scrambling from all over the house as its occupants awaken.

Fear/panic/worry nearly bludgeon her with force and it is only the fact the brother has his hand on her shoulder that she can focus on reaching Ash's room. Everyone is gathered in the doorway, Professor Kukui is barely inside but she can see Ash's Charizard shielding Ash with his wings. Heartwrenching sobs pierce her heart and then Mewtwo floats into view.

" _ **He will be fine, we have him now."**_ Professor Kukui nods and ushers them out of the room.

Lillie dizzily stumbles when brother is swept away from her. She inhales and feels as if she can barely breathe.

She can feel panic claw at her chest. Spots dance across her vision as fear/worry/anger/sorrow/alarm crash into her. Disorienting her. She stumbles again, arms wrap around her like a band, insulating her and suddenly the emotions become muted. She lets her head come to a rest against brother's collarbone and lets him lead her away and into a reclined position.

She hears voices, they sound far away.

"It's fine, there isn't anything that can be done." Brother says with his cheek pressed to the top of her head. She knows that he can hide what he feels, or dampen his feelings until all she can sense is murky and barely there.

Anakala could do the same.

"Rest." Lillie hums, sleep slowly reclaiming her as everything fades into the distance. Someone grabs her hand and sets something in her palm, her brows furrow as she feels a five pointed shape. A star?

One eye opens to peer at the white star and she sees the word 'BRAVE'.

She closes her eyes and smiles to herself as she holds the white star close.

Lillie rubs her eyes, brother sits up and rubs his eyes with the heels of his palms and looks her over with a critical look.

"Breakfast?" Lillie thinks about and shakes her head, finding Snowy and scooping her into her arms. She looks around and sees that everyone is spread out and doing their own thing. Ash's mother is making breakfast, Professors Burnet and Kukui are both peering at something on his laptop. Gary laying on the floor with a pen in his mouth and a tablet in front of him.

"Silvally." Lillie blinks and sees that she and brother had fallen asleep leaning against him. And now Silvally was preening brother's hair while Umbreon and Lycanroc watched.

"Brother..." he looks down at her, one hand on Silvally's chin. He nods and rubs Silvally's chin.

"Silvally was sensitive to emotion, and had deep distrust for humans. Anakala was better at controlling him, he taught me how to be accepted by Silvally. Protected me when Silvally raged, and even when i made mistakes." He says as he pushes his sleeve up to expose the thick bands of silver lines carved into his arms.

Lillie glances at him as her hand hovered above a particularly thick band. He nods, she touches the rough surface and sees his fingers twitch.

"Does it hurt?" He smiles and shakes his head, running his fingers over the numerous scars.

"I see it as proof of how far I've come and how close our bond has grown." He glances up at Silvally; the chimera sniffs at his arm with sorrow in his silver eyes.

Lillie is glad that brother and Silvally get along, that brother had Anakala and Plumie to help him.

"Mime." Lillie sees Mr. Mime holding up an invisible tray and two bowls along with two cups. Lillie smiles and accepts the bowl and cup while brother does the same.

"Thank you." They say to the helper pokemon, Mr. Mime nods and heads back to the kitchen and grabs another bowl and cup to take to Ash's room.

Lillie can see that everyone is watching the door to Ash's room. 

* * *

Charizard watches Ash sleep against him. It had taken a few hours, and various reassurances but Ash had finally succumbed to sleep.

The door opens, Charizard snorts as Mimey enters the room with a bowl and cup. Charizard gestures to the night stand, Mimey nods and sets down the trays. Mimey worriedly eyes Charizard's wings, Charizard obliges and opens his wings to reveal Ash.

"Mimemimemister." Charizard folds his wings back over Ash and his other pokemon. Charizard would continue to look after Ash.

"Char." He says in response, Mimey smiles at him and makes his way out of the room after briefly tidying up.

Pikachu wakes up first, thanking Charizard for keeping watch.

Bayleef and Scraggy wake at the same time and also thank him.

Lycanroc jolts awake and is told by Bayleef and Pikachu to sit before he could do anything else. He whines, settling his head on his paws.

Torracat opens a single eye then resumes sleeping.

Rowlet doesn't wake up.

Charizard knows Ash is awake when he gently rests his hand on Charizard's snout.

"Thanks buddy." He croaks, licking his lips as he sits up and runs his fingers through fur, over leafs and scales and feathers.

"Morning." Ash yawns, he laughs as Lycanroc bathes his face.

"Okay, okay!" Charizard folds his wings and glances up at Mewtwo, the legendary nods at him and slips out the window to keep watch on the roof.

"I probably scared everyone earlier." Charizard catches Pikachu's eye and hugs Ash closer. He releases a shaky sigh as he covers his face.

"It doesn't burn. It doesn't." He whispers shakily, Bayleef uses aromatherapy, wraps her vines around him in a loose embrace and then rests her head on his shoulders.

"I don't want to be scared anymore." Charizard regrets not accompanying Ash to Kalos. Out of all their adventures, that place had been the only one to leave a deep scar. Deeper than any before.

Carving deep into him and leaving an aching wound. Seeping mistrust and fear while refusing to heal. It had barely scabbed over in Kanto. And from what Pikachu said, there had been plenty of healing but then that vile piece of human filth had gouged out the scar tissue and created new paths of infection.

"Charcharizardcha." Ash nods and leans back against him as tears run down his wrists. Ash had been there for him through everything. Through Damian leaving him to die. Helping him heal, and letting him go at his own pace. Never assuming to know better than him, and making sure that he was comfortable with everything.

Ash had been so kind despite his rebellion when he had evolved. Despite pleading, he hadn't listened and yet Ash had not abandoned him. Had not left him to take the backseat to any of his other pokemon. Ash had continued to believe in him and repeatedly placed his faith and trust in Charizard no matter how many times Charizard burned him for it.

And then he had rubbed his hands raw to keep Charizard warm. Charizard had always known that Ash was selfless when it came to his pokemon. Often times getting in harms way for them. Putting their safety above his.

Yet he had forgotten. He had forgotten the warmth and kindness of his trainer until the scent of iron on his scales, the feeling of thick liquid and the soft yet encouraging words reached him.

Ash's companions had been leery of him, for all his rage and temper tantrums. Yet Ash had never flinched away from him. Would take his attacks time and again. And ask for his help. Never demanding. Always asking, and still calling time and again despite the history of Charizard disobeying him.

For Ash, Charizard would rage against the world.

And for Ash, he would save the world.

He holds Ash and encourages him the way that Ash once had.

"I'm okay." Charizard doesn't believe this lie. None of the others do either, but in the face of Ash's faltering smile they accept it. They don't prod him to eat, or leave bed. They simply settle in to wait for him. They let him choose his own pace as he has done for all of them.

He would heal at his own pace, he dared anyone to try and push it. Ash was their whole world, he would be protected at all times. Even from friends if need be.

Ash doesn't really eat, he tried his best and fell short but that was fine. He would eat later, he usually did.

He stood in front of the door with Pikachu and Scraggy in his arms and Bayleef at his side. Charizard nudged him with a questioning look.

"Ok. It's okay, we're gonna be just fine." He breathes deeply then opens the door and steps out. Charizard has to carefully maneuver himself to get in and out of the room, it's a challenge every time but for Ash he would face this challenge.

"Afternoon sweetie." Ash's meema greets cheerfully, Charizard greets her, as do the others and she individually greets them back. 

Ash didn't say anything, headed straight for his meema and hugged her. Charizard could smell his fear but he didn't outwardly react. Charizard glanced at Pikachu, wondering what to do to help but Pikachu was just as stumped. 

Charizard snuffled before he settled down onto the floor to wait. He looks over to see Ash's friend/rival/kin was watching Ash as well. Good, the more looking after him, the more he would know that he was not alone.

Ash disappears down the hall at his meema's request. He comes back a few minutes later, he carries some papers and passes them to Pikachu. He sits down and reclines against Charizard and watches, Charizard doesn't mind. He watches though, the man that has taken Ash in, get more and more confused by Pikachu.

Charizard is amused as well, he remembers when the cook/kin/rock/responsible one used to do the same. Ash used to make miniatures of them all.

Charizard asks Ash for a paper, Ash passes him one and watches with bright eyes as Charizard makes a charmander. 

"Charizard!!! You're so amazing!!!!!" Charizard smirks at Pikachu, the mouse huffs indignantly and grabs the rest of the paper. 

"Pika!" He hisses and Charizard leaves the rest alone, Ash cheers on Pikachu and then the room falls silent when Pikachu unveils his legendary pokemon origami. 

"We should show this to Giratina!! And Victini would adore this Victini!!!!" Ash babbles excitedly as he lies on the floor and looks over the paper constructs.

Charizard glances up at Mew, the playful legendary is entranced by the paper. Giggling as they vanish and reappear with Victini. 

"Victini!" Ash cries out happily, the small legendary cries excitedly and tackles Ash. They laugh cheerfully, Charizard likes this moment. He likes this legendary. It is small, and kind and Ash is pleased to see it which means that this one didn't cause him danger even if it might have been a source of danger.

"Ash." Kin/rival/friend sits up and looks over at the legendary, it vanishes from sight though he can still smell it near Ash. "Might want to let your friends know you live with a pokemon Professor." 

"Ah! Victini, I'm staying with people that study pokemon. You can stay right next to me if you want, but you can trust them. They are really nice!" Charizard is a little worried that Ash was shaking when he said that. Ash smiled, and he meant it, he can feel it and that matters.

Charizard was going to be there for Ash until he could finally break free of these wounds.

* * *

Gary wants to stay longer, he really does. But he and Delia can't. The emergency visas that his grandpa bought for them will expire in two days. Gary doesn't like that this fool of a man had taken Ash with him to help another person. While he hates himself for it, he despise Kukui even more after Ash chose him to be the one to lean on.

Ash's well being came first. He should be happy, and yet he's not.

Gary looks up when a coin rolls to a stop beside him.

"Yen for your thoughts?" Gary feels a pointed nudge from Mewtwo and growls but stands up and makes his way to the table.

Ash was back in his room, hopefully taking a nap but probably not.

"Fine, might as well." Gary pauses when there is a spike. "Though i should tell you and Professor Burnet something tomorrow." He was angry at the man, but he would never put anyone's life in danger.

He drops down into the seat across from the Professor and slings his arm across the back.

"I do apologize for abruptly taking Ash to Alola with me, but i did have his and his mother's permission." What kind of apology was that? He basically didn't even apologize. The nerve!

"Gary-" Gary cuts him off, leaning forward to look the man In the eyes.

"I didn't give you permission to use my first name. Ash and mama might have, but i didn't." The older Professor nods.

"You're right, sorry. Professor Oak." He says, showing respect to his title as well. Gary feels unsettled by the stare of the Professor across from him. "I overheard something while i was sleeping at the hospital." Gary glares up at the ceiling where Mewtwo is on the rooftop.

"The reason that you couldn't help Ash, was the same reason that i couldn't help Lillie." There is sadness in his voice, frustration in his black eyes as he runs his finger over the rim of an empty mug.

"We were too close. Too invested, and that made all the difference." He looks down, removing his glasses with a small sigh. "Ash was hurting, and the rest of you were hurting... Ash is very sensitive to the suffering of others." He smiles sadly and Gary can't look at him. It's the same smile that grandpa wore.

That mama had.

That misty and brock had.

That he had seen in his own reflection.

"I know." He whispers, he can see why Ash had learned to trust this man when he didn't trust the others to help him.

"He hasn't told me about Kalos." Kalos, the place that had done this to his brother. "He told me about aura even though he didn't want to, but i think Kalos had something to do with it." Gary knows this, he suspected it and now he had confirmation from another. It didn't paint a good picture.

"It's because he's Chosen, isn't it?" The other Professor hums, he places a letter onto the table.

"This person, he didn't help Ash. He hurt him in some way, though he apparently made up for it by helping out when it really mattered." Gary freezes as he looks at the name written on the letter. The scratched out address that was no doubt Kalos. He remembers these letters well, Ash enjoyed them. But this name.

Ash had taken only one video call from Kalos.

Just seeing the assistant to Professor Sycamore had shut him down faster than the color red had. He had broken the screen and was completely unresponsive for days.

"He did this. Whatever he did, whatever secret he's been keeping." Gary spits out angrily, hands clenched tightly in fury. "Keep him away from Ash." Gary orders, Kukui stares blankly at him but nods as he takes the letter and tucks it back into his pocket.

"I don't think Ash has acknowledged what happened to him. His refuses because be doesn't want to hurt any of you, it's what's making it difficult for him to come to gripes with what happened." Kukui lays his palm flat on the table but he looks inches past his fingers. 

"He said that he had let _Him_ taint his memories and as a result forgot all about the good he had experienced." Gary remembers that Ash had forgotten about his league challenges when he'd tried to reminisce about them.

"I didn't have any expectations about him. We were perfect strangers, which made it easier and harder to open up." Gary takes one of the origami papers left in the middle of the table and begins to fold to keep his hands occupied.

"I understand your pain, having to step back and feeling helpless to ease any of the suffering." Kukui takes a paper and he too begins to fold. "It was never going to be us who could help them." Gary sets down a paper butterfree. Kukui sets down a flower.

"Ash is good at helping people, always has been... i just wanted to help him." Gary's hand shakes as he grabs another slip of paper. "Even now, I can't help him." Gary laughs as he remembers Ash holding his breath when Gary had grabbed hold of him.

_I trust them, so why?_

He wasn't what Ash needed. They didn't treat each other roughly, but they weren't soft either. Ash needed softness.

* * *

Kukui can see the tears that Gary is holding in, the pain and all the hurt that he has harbored for months on end. This kid is a good kid, a really good kid. 

"I really really dislike you." He laughs as he rubs his eyes. "But you're good for Ash, and you've helped him before." He shakes his head, a sob catches in his throat as he buries his face in his hands.

"Your still stupid." Kukui chuckles, of course. 

"Have you talk with Ash about this?" Kukui asks, Gary wipes his face and sighs tiredly.

"He can probably guess, but I'll talk with him. If only to try and smother him with some damn self preservation." He mutters, and then Kukui really understands him. Ash was his brother, and he wasn't treating him callously by getting into his space and disrespecting him by touching him when he was afraid. He was just treating him the way he always had. 

And Ash appreciated being treated normal. They had all been walking on eggshells around him, except for Delia and Gary.

"Do me a favor, will you?" Gary asks as he peers at Kukui through his fingers. "Treat him like any other person, Ash is special and he's hurt, but he's still an idiot who loves pokemon so much he's practically one himself." He lowers his hands from his face and pushes himself away from the table.

Kukui sits alone in the kitchen. Waiting for the inevitable nightmares to wake his kids.

Ash sits at the table and drinks tea, his pokemon all touching him in someway. He blinks tiredly at Kukui, then asks to borrow his laptop. Kukui slides it over without a word and folds some flowers, he remains silent and patient.

"I'm not scared." Ash starts, Kukui hums in agreement as he looks away from the small hoot hoot he had made. "I trust you, all of you." Ash sets his cup down and stands up, his pokemon remain behind when Ash rounds the table to Kukui's side. He stands a foot away from him and trembles faintly as he holds his hand out. He flinches back, gritting his teeth as he tries again.

Kukui moves slowly, he holds out his hand, palm up and smiles at Ash. Ash shakily extends his hand and breaks out into a cold sweat. 

"I believe you Ash, take all the time you need." Kukui hesitates, but then he remembers what Gary had just said. He extends his hand a little more and catches Ash's hand in his. He flinches, clenches his hand into a fist but doesn't tug his hand free.

"I'm not scared. It doesn't burn." Ash whispers as he stares, Kukui lowers his hand and Ash takes a step back while his other hand comes up and wipes away a tear. He smiles, even as he shakes and his pokemon crowd him.

"You're full of courage." Pikachu jumps onto Ash's shoulder and nuzzles their cheeks together, with a small purr. Bayleef uses aromatherapy and leads him back to his chair and sits with him until he stops shaking.

Its about an hour later that Lillie and Gladion join them, both grabbing paper and accepting the mugs of tapu coco he had laid out. It's quiet, but they are all at peace and enjoying the silence together.

Kukui wakes up to Scraggy staring into his face and using leer.

Needless to say, Scraggy goes flying, as does Ash the second Scraggy goes airborne. 

"Ah..." Kukui watches Ash scold Scraggy about watching people sleep without their permission. Gary steps out of the hall and instantly puts two and two together. 

"Such a good Professor, getting snuck up on by a pokemon." Kukui rubs his face and groans to himself. Sure they had a heart to heart, he should've known that it changed nothing.

"Did you get any sleep Ashy?" Gary has his hands on his hips as he stares Ash down. Ash laughs and waves a hand while talking about nonsense and then sprints out of the house.

"Oh no you don't!" Gary shouts and runs after him, he calls out his Arcanine just before the door slams shut behind him.

"Boys!" Delia huffs, Mr. Mime copies her posture, fists on his hips with a frown of disapproval.

Ash comes back riding on Arcanine and giving him scratches while laughing. Gary has his arms crossed over his chest and Scraggy and Pikachu on either shoulder as he talks about editing and submitting Ash's latest article. 

"That's right, we're all here now. Mewtwo?" The psychic floats in behind them and Ash drops down from Arcanine with a serious look.

"This is about that thing isn't it." Gary doesn't look back at him but nods all the same.

"I was wondering if you'd be able to feel that." Gary uncrosses his arm and looks Kukui and Burnet dead in the eye. "Opening up that wormhole was necessary to retrieve their mother. But at the same time it was the worst thing we could have done." Kukui is glad he's sitting down as suddenly he is looking at a small ultra wormhole opening then closing.

"Maybe if it had just been Solgaleo it would have been fine, or maybe this was something that was a long time coming. I don't know." Gary looks at Burnet but she shakes her head. "The fabric of space between our two worlds has worn thin, the ultra beasts will be able to slip through an opening should the opportunity arise." Ash doesn't seem phased at all.

"I think it was happening already. I didn't really know what that feeling was but now i do." Ash looks at Mew, the playful legendary nods and suddenly they can see Ash and Tapu Lele above a crystal clear lake with the moon shining. They see Giratina and then just behind Ash is a small tear in space, but as Ash turns around it is gone.

Several instances flash by until the last one is completely murky. There is sound, though it is distorted. And then Kukui feels fear, heat, and-

Mewtwo abruptly ends the shared sight.

Ash is hugging Arcanine, Gary is beside him with a hand on his back, more pokemon crowding them until Kukui can't see Ash or Gary.

"Needless to say, you need to keep an eye out for danger." Gary says and somehow Kukui can tell that the conversation is directed at him.

* * *

Pikachu watches Ash hug his meema and his brother not brother. Saying goodbye has always been hard. It never got easier, but it had been all the more harder when Ash couldn't stop his aura from latching on to his friends and family. It was like leaving a part of himself.

"Pikapi?" Ash hugs his arms to his chest and rests his cheek on Pikachu's head.

"I'm not as lonely, promise." Pikachu believes him. Even though Ash had left alone to say goodbye to his meema and brother not brother, he could hear the unique breathing pattern of Silvally. 

He has no doubt that Ash was followed, that he knows he was followed.

"Want to get Malasadas?" He asks, crossing his arms behind his head as he glances over his shoulder. Charizard nods and follows behind him, as do Torracat, Lycanroc and Bayleef carrying Rowlet and Scraggy.

Pikachu turns and signals Silvally, the chimera is soon in view.

Team Rocket would be understanding and supportive. And maybe they would be able to get Ash to relax a little more. They were really good at helping him feel at ease after running into despicable human beings.

They gave him a gift card with 100 pokecents on it...

...

Ash thanks them with a sincere grin.

Pikachu glances at the others, they stare at the card and then at Ash. So sincere. So kind.

Cheapskates.


	23. How Many Days Do You Shed The Pain Of Your Darker Days?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Interlude I **  
> **  
> **  
> GUZMA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: invisible- zara larsson

Guzma wakes up one morning and promptly fell out of bed. He groans and pushes himself up, rooting around for his ringing phone.

"Whazzit?" He mutters a curse and then there is silence before a sigh is heard.

"There is change coming to Alola. Don't know if it's good or bad yet." Guzma sits up and and looks around at his room, in a state of perpetual disrepair. "Stay safe." He puts the phone down and hums to himself before he climbs to his feet and makes his way to the window. He pushes aside the torn curtains and peers at the sunrise.

"Change huh?" He hisses and shuts the curtains. He makes his way downstairs, slides down the railing and then shouts.

"My foulest brethren! Wake the fuck up!!!!" He shouts, there are various thuds throughout the house, Plumeria pops out from her art room, pulling a bandana down from her nose.

"Something happen?" She asks as she shuts the door and makes her way towards him. He nods as he crosses him arms over his chest and waits. Little by little their family gathers until Gladion shuffles into the room from a door down the hall, Guzma will lecture him later about sleeping downstairs.

"There's change coming, i want all of you to go around in groups of two's or three's. Gladion you either leave with a group or have _all_ of your pokemon out." Guzma wasn't an aura adept, or psychic, but he could feel something stirring on Mele Mele. He wonders if Kukui has anything to do with it.

Then decides he doesn't care as long as his family isn't hurt.

Someone was in his house. Someone that didn't belong, and they hadn't come in through the front. Golisopod chitters, then he pauses in confusion, they are gone.

"Keep an eye out. We can't let our guard down." Guzma would find the person who dared to invade his territory and he'd destroy them.

Gladion came home and brought with him not one but two new siblings. One his by blood and the other through fostering. A god blessed one at that.

And a Mew. Somehow the Mew was drawn to him and it sent alarms ringing in his head at the last time a god had taken interest in him.

Guzma watched two kids with two vastly different yet similar traumas, walk forward and face their fears. Time and again they stood back up, looked fear in the eye, and spat in it's face.

If they could do it, then why couldn't he?

He called up Nanu, who once upon a time reached out to him and stepped back when Guzma slapped his hand back. He let Guzma keep his space, allowed him to have a place of his own. He gave him Shady house, and when Guzma began collecting people that didn't fit in with others, he simply quirked a brow and gave him a book on laws.

Guzma found himself meeting Burnet for the first time in a very long time. She was shorter than him now. She didn't recognize him, and somehow he had to go about helping her and Kukui get together. Ugh.

Guzma has no idea what he will do with a two year supply of coffee. Mew even added to it by taking Kukui's supply. Meh, he'll keep Kukui's and sell the rest for a tidy profit.

He deserves it for putting up with Mew.

Guzma had a lot of trauma he kept close to his heart. Angry at the world, and angry at so many people who had betrayed him, that his grudges became a new chain that weighed him down.

But those kids had seen him, had seen his heart and chose to trust him. It didn't matter that he had already taken Gladion in, Gladion's approval had actually meant very little to them in the grand scheme of things.

If this God blessed kid, who had suffered at the hands of humanity, could still force himself to keep moving forward, then so could he. Guzma had faced rejection, ridicule, scorn, and had let that mold him to the person he was today.

Well no more.

Guzma was done with allowing the chains of those words drag him down.

He called on the only one who had ever believed in him and made his way to the Ruins of Abundance.

Guzma had a lot of work to do. Starting with repainting Shady house so that it no longer resembles a desiccated and abandoned building.

Here, he enlists the help of his crew, each one armed with paint cans, spray paints, brushes, rollers and stencils.

They take to town to let the pain dry.

And when they return at night, it's to Gladion sitting outside, playing with a pokeball, his Lycanroc at this side, standing guard.

He feels dread.

Gladion looks up, and he is suddenly reminded of the seven year old child that had runaway from home with a stolen chimera and a heavy burden on his shoulders.

"What happened?" Gladion doesn't tell him, he keeps breaking down into tears. Guzma knows he will find out soon, nothing really stays a secret in Alola. Not unless someone took extreme precautions.

He ends up giving Gladion advice about Ash. Ash who had apparently been traumatized by an event that mirrored his past trauma and retreated into himself.

"All you can do is wait. The brat is stubborn though, he knows you are waiting. He won't keep you waiting for long, but you will have to be cautious." Guzma knows that the path to healing is hard. There are many hurdles, and sometimes you just feel like giving up when it gets too hard.

"That brat is stronger than his fears. You just need to remind him, he isn't alone." He holds Gladion until his kid is ready to leave. Plumeria wraps her arms around him, rests her cheek on the top of his head and murmurs that she was going to go kickass for him when he was ready to talk.

The next morning they are painting again, when they run out of paint and go into town to buy more.

There he runs into Nanu, his face wears an expression that Guzma had only seen once. 

It was the look he had when he had first fled to Ula'Ula, with hair as white as snow and memories of a created pokemon's violent death on his conscious. 

"There was an incident at Aether. Three minors were involved, and the Aether president was kidnapped by an unknown pokemon." Guzma feels dread. He remembers the ultra wormhole, the being that had come out. How he fled and spat at his coworkers, at Lusamine for using him. 

Last he heard Professor Burnet, did not remember what happened. His money is on Faba, the creep seemed the type to mess with memories.

Wait.

If that thing, simply holding him and slaughtering the created pokemon could turn his hair white and make him leery of touch. Made it so that he could understand pokemon that weren't bug types.

It could change the views of young girl and her brother.

"It was her children wasn't it?" He says, Nanu does not confirm or deny it. He never revealed any details of his cases, he came to Guzma because he was helping him heal. And news about Lusamine and her kids was important, she had helped ruin his life, and he had helped her son slowly heal in return.

Guzma turns and runs, heart pounding rapidly in his chest. 

What happened? What happened to his kids?! 

"Golisopod!" Golisopod barely even touched the ground when Guzma was already in the water swimming. The large arthropod dove into the water, coming up from beneath him and swam rapidly to Mele Mele.

"Mew!" Guzma called just as he reached the shore, the mythical was flying to him at rapid speed. He was knocked off Golisopod and straight back into the water.

"Are they okay? The kids?" The mythical pulled back, gave him a slight shake of the head and wrapped their tail around his arm, dragging him forward. He barely managed to return Golisopod as he ran after the mythical. 

Mew motions for him to stay and floats into the house. From where he stands, he can see the destruction in the livingroom. 

He flinches as suddenly he is seeing Ash lain up in bed, completely unresponsive and surrounded by pokemon. He sees Lillie, bruised and battered with bandages every which way. He sees Gladion nervously rubbing the sleeves of his hoodie, knees to his chest as he sits at his sister's side. He sees Kukui watching the kids with warring expressions of relief and guilt.

Gary Oak sits at a desk reading a journal that Ash writes in pretty regularly. Burnet, his coworker who doesn't recognize him with white hair, and his new style of clothes, watches everyone and offers then fluids or food. There is a woman with red hair, a Mr. Mime at her side, offering her a snack.

Suddenly he is seeing something else.

_The kids are running and ambushed by a Shiinotic and stun spore. He can see their fears at being so helpless, then they are knocked out and taken. Taken by that slime ball Faba._

_They are inside Aether, the underground lab where he once encountered that foul creature. Where a created pokemon was slain to protect him, his pokemon releasing themselves to free him before he could be taken into the tear in space._

_He sees Ash and Lillie run, get caught and then his heart falls. The utter terror in Ash's eyes, the exact moment he gives up and retreats away. Lillie being beaten again and again. Getting up, fighting, touching pokemon, hurting herself, and then freeing Mew._

_Watching Kukui, Gladion and Burnet arrive with Lusamine. The fierce battle on all sides, Ash being rescued, Gladion's Type Null being freed. (The pokemon he had helped Gladion train. Helped him bond with, so very different from the creature full of rage.) The UB-01, Symbiote- Nihilego. Lillie's reaction, Gladion's, and finally Lusamine. Throwing herself before her children to save them._

_Then, a woman with red hair, she was Ash's mother._

They were safe now. There wasn't a thing Guzma could do. All he could do was go to Aether.

"Keep watch over them Mew. This isn't finished, not by a long shot." He warns and makes his way off the property.

He comes up with a plan to sneak back into Aether with heightened security and in the mean time, the kids have gone to Ultra space. Good thing he had Plumeria keep an eye on them, and take the camera too for photographs if necessary. 

So here he is, sneaking into Aether to free the last Type Null, and destroy all of Faba's work. All the while the kids are in danger and facing ultra beasts.

No way was he going to leave this research in Aether's hands if Lusamine turned a blind eye to problems. Who knows who else would get the bright idea to hurt those kids. 

_"This is where you will be working alongside Faba. He will introduce you to his current project, we call it..."_

**_"Type: Full"_ **

He wastes no time and uses his access codes, something tells him that he wasn't actually removed from the system. And lo and behold, he was in. His clearance was just high enough that he could get into Faba's work.

There he found no mention of the ultra beasts. No mention of the destruction of one of the Type Null projects. No mention of one being stolen.

_"These are the Type Full, you will see to their care after we run tests to make sure they function at optimal capacity." Guzma nods, glancing at his clipboard full of excercises, diet plans, and scheduled testing phases. Each of the three chimera pokemon had the same plans._

_The chimera before him, one with bronze eyes, looked forlornly at him. Guzma side eyed Faba, and when he saw he wasn't paying attention, he offered the pokemon a sincere smile._

He pulled a flashdrive out of his pocket and downloaded all the information available on the ultra beasts as well as Type ~~Full~~ Null. He began to systematically delete portions of data on all of Faba's projects. The mathematical equations used to calculate the frequency for ultra wormholes that was supposedly all theory, but was not. 

He finds plans on the machine and takes all of it, corrupting what's left and then finding where it was left.

_"Faba! You did it! President will be excited!" Guzma smiled, Faba grinned at him. His excitement was short lived as a creature emerged from the ultra wormhole. He experienced terror, so similar to the terror he felt when Tapu Koko had turned to him after defeating all his pokemon and rained down godly judgement on him._

Guzma shook himself, he didn't need to be distracted here. He was just about to shut off the system when he saw the status of the last Type Null.

_Furious gold eyes gleamed with intelligence as talons pressed down on his shoulder. Guzma was afraid, flashes of orange beaks slamming into his vulnerable skin over and over again. He was released, his legs gave out from under him, he slid down the wall. The chimera snorted, tossing its head at him. He knows he was spared._

_It left a bitter taste in his mouth._

Guzma stands before the cell where he once was spared a fate that many others before him had not been afforded. He slid open the plate at chest height and peered into the dark room, a pair of luminous gold eyes watched him.

"I'm sorry." He doesn't know what he was apologizing for. Abandoning them. Causing the death of their youngest sibling. Or daring to show his face again, when he was beneath this chimera's notice.

_"Faba! Faba help me!" Guzma cried out as the ultra beast wrapped its tentacles around him. Faba was frozen, watching him. Guzma felt helpless. His grip was slipping, he was going to get dragged away. Dragged away and become this thing's next meal._

~~_Would anyone even notice that he was gone? Would Kukui mourn him?_ ~~

_There was a second where his heart stopped as his grip slipped, then his pokemon burst out of their pokeballs._

_They began fighting as hard as they could. But it was not enough. His Scyther, Spinarak, Golisopod and pinsir were easily taken down._

_There was a metallic clanging sound, then he saw a flash of bronze and suddenly he was free falling. Scyther dove after him, a brilliant light surrounded him and then he landed in the arms of a Scizor._

_Another glow cover his Spinarak, Ariados clings to him._

_There is a horrible screech of pain, he turns and wishes he hadn't._

_Purple vicor splashes his face, bronze eyes stare at him, unseeing._

_He screams._

He unlocks the door, steps in and calls out Scizor to break the chains. Gold eyes narrow, then the chimera stalks forward until it is right in his face.

"Hey Gula." There's a low crackling noise when Gula breathes in his face, he can see a bright glow at the back of Gula's throat. Guzma does not flinch or back down, molten liquid is spat over his shoulder, Gula snorts.

"The decision is yours." He says, holding up a new pokeball, as he sets the old containment pokeball at his feet, then slowly rolls it to Gula's talons. There is no hesitation as a talon comes down hard enough to shatter the ball. Guzma looks at the containment mask, and watches as Scizor clips at it until it falls to pieces. 

Gula raises a talon, resting it on Guzma's shoulder, Scizor watches them warily. He wonders what Gula sees. Does Gula see the changes brought on by the death of Keleawe, the bronze chimera? Can Gula see that Guzma tried to repent by helping Gladion with Silvally? Is the change he has recently under gone thanks to those kids, noticeable in him?

A snout rests on his palm, he raises the cherish ball that had been given to him as a good luck gesture by Kukui. 

"I won't let anything happen to you, or to those kids." Gula vanishes, and then Guzma hears the sound of footsteps.

"We've overstayed our welcome. Scizor, you know what to do." Scizor nods, then moves forward while Guzma stays hidden. He is not going down for trespassing charges.

Not only would Nanu be disappointed in him, but Guzma would die of absolute shame.

How many times had he broken into Aether and not been caught? Too many to count, especially when he not only smuggled a teenager in and out, but also liberated more than a dozen pokemon kept in stasis while being mined for their DNA.

Guzma can see smoke and runs towards the fighting. He can make out several shapes, people and pokemon. 

Pathetic. To only start patrolling this area after the president was taken, not before when Faba was allowed to roam free and do as he pleased. At least they had up the security along the rest of the paradise.

"Halt! You the-" Guzma didn't hesitate, though he should have. The guard slammed into the ground and his knuckles tingled. There was a second of stillness before someone threw themselves at him and managed to clip his chin. He grabs the arm, then twists and uses his back as leverage to throw his opponent over his shoulder.

The idiots have no idea that Guzma is leading them on. Sure they get a few lucky blows, but that's nothing compared to what he gives back.

He finds the machine, exactly where it had been left when Faba had used it to torment two of his own. He doesn't think and slams his fist into it, pokemon attacks fly his way and he uses the machine to take the blows until he is certain that not even Burnet can repair it.

He calls out his Masquerain and returns Scizor, amidst the confusion, he manages to use the hole in the ceiling to escape while the guards all continue to fight one another.

He had a call to make, he knows that the brats and Kukui were going to be in danger. He was gonna make sure that they were going to be taken care of. 

UB-01 was a formidable beast, with a propensity for leaving traumatic scars behind. Guzma lightly fingers his hair as Masquerain flies him as far away from Aether.

His stay with Nanu and Acerola is brief, as is their talk. And then he heads home where Plumeria would have gathered photographic evidence.

Guzma peers at Plumeria when she arrives. She leans against the doorway, silent for all of a minute before she slings a camera bag at him. He catches it and pulls out the camera. He looks at the photos taken. 

The Guardian Deities at the Altar of the Sunne. Nebby evolving to Solgaleo. The creation of a new z ring and the gift of a new z crystal. The ultra wormhole. Iridescent, and unnatural.

"Masquerain, i need you to send these to Nanu. Be discreet about it, there are bound to be others surrounding him." His Masquerain nods and accepts the small envelope full of photos. Plumeria watches him with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Should we let those Kanto gangsters know? Their oddly attached to the god touched brat." Guzma sighs, Golisopod slumped down on top of him, his appendages wrapped around Guzma in a hug. Guzma leaned back into the multi armed hug and began to reminisce. He remembers first meeting the wimpod on a warm sunny day.

_The wimpod was on it's back, crying and struggling to get back on its feet, so Guzma leaned over and flipped it over. Kukui laughs as he and his Litten come to a stop, waiting for him._  
_The sun is setting and he's walking home, bandages on his cheek from litten scratching his cheek. Wimpod greets him._

_"Oh, it's you again." It trills cheerfully and follows him until he leaves the waters edge. It trills sadly, Guzma pauses._

_"I'll come back tomorrow." It smiles and heads for the water._

_"You should catch Wimpod already. You two meet up everyday." Kukui says as he and litten split a berry. Guzma lays down on the towel they brought to lay down on and passes Wimpod a berry._

_"Me and my lil buddy are cool with the bond we have now!" He declares, he doesn't admit that he has yet to ask wimpod if they wanted to stay with Guzma. After all, it wasn't like they hung out every day._

_"Sorry I'm late guys!" Molayne shouts as he rushes towards them, his magnemite floated behind him._

_"This is the pokemon you choose Guzma?" Hala asks, Guzma doesn't waver or act ashamed as some of the other kids laugh._

_"Me and Wimpod are going to grow stronger together. We're buddies through thick and thin, right?" Wimpod trills happily as it twirls in a circle._

_"You evolved Golisopod! I knew you were amazing!" Multiple arms wrapped around him lifting him straight off his feet. Guzma laughs, he couldn't wait to show his buddy off to Kukui and Hala. And Molayne if he ever pulled his head out of his books._

_"Go and complete your trial." Guzma felt out of his depth. Like he was tossed into churning waters with a life jacket and a rescue boat so far out of reach. Why didn't Kahuna Hala listen to his pleas that he wasn't ready to take his trial yet._

_He knows Kukui had passed, he had been honored to watch it. And both had promised one another to complete their trials and witness one another's triumphs, but Guzma knew he wasn't ready._

_Guzma watched Tapu Koko stare down at him. Golisopod vanished back into his pokeball, and Guzma felt relief that at least one of his pokemon was safe from the godly wrath._

_Then there was only **pain.**_

"Golisopod always worries about me." Plumeria smiles, small and sincere as she leaves his room. Guzma watches the breeze ruffle his curtains and gathers his knees to his chest and leans back into Golisopod. 

Guzma was going to be okay, it took years, but he was finally healing. Those kids would be just fine. They had each other and so many people and pokemon to rely on. They'd be just fine. Even so, Guzma would be there for them.

* * *

Plumeria shuts the door behind her. She remembers this absent gaze very well. He had that look on his face when she first met him, soaking wet with his Golisopod wrapped around him. She shakes her head and brushes off memories of the past.

"Boss is off limits today, spread the word." She tells Zipp as she slides down the banister with her hands in her pockets. She hops off as she reaches the bottom and makes her way out of Shady house, though maybe they should rename it now. She leaves the thought for later as she makes her way to the ocean, whistling as she heads over. Old man Akela nods at her and makes his way towards her with a harness and saddle.

"Take good care of Sharpedo will ya?" Plumeria nods, accepting the pokeball, harness and saddle. She pauses as a weathered hand grasps her wrist.

"No, i mean. I want you to take care of Sharpedo for me from now own. These old bones can't take Sharpedo out the way they used to." Plumeria glances down at the pokeball in her hand. Feelings of fond nostalgia well up in her as she turns to fully face Akela.

"Thank you for everything Akela." He smiles at her and pats her hand, it feels like a grandfather gifting his pokemon to his favorite granddaughter. He has done so much for her over the years.

"Now go, you have urgent business to complete for your boss don't you?" Plumeria smiles and takes off running the rest of the way to the water.

She finds the Kanto gangsters running their Malasadas business. The woman takes one look at Plumeria and shuts down their stall despite the customers lined up. The customers run when they see her anyways, so it doesn't really matter.

"What brings you around here, huh?" The woman sneers, Plumeria snarls in response. The man and and kantonese meowth nervously watch them.

"Didn't we agree to keep our turfs separate?" The man twitters, shrieking when his companion shoots a glare his way.

Plumeria bites back a retort, she thinks of Gladion and his shy way of asking for company. She thinks of Lillie and her cute little routine for girls night. She thinks of Ash and his boundless energy that translates into fidgeting and his pokemon's equal restlessness.

She exhales sharply, forcing her gaze away as her hands come up to rest on her hips. There is a second before she can sense the hostility fade.

"What happened to the twerp?" She asks calm, too calm for someone aware of what follows behind someone that is God blessed. 

"There was an incident at Aether, we aren't aware of all the details. All three of those kids were affected. Your brat more so." There is a hiss, a positively feral sound. Plumeria glanced right at them, each one of them had a positively stormy expressions, including the Wobbuffet. 

"And then?" The man asked, green eyes narrowed.

"Lusamine was kidnapped, Lillie was badly hurt and Ash was unconscious for nearly a two and a half days, and now they have all left to another world." There is a moment where they all look at one another, having a conversation with their facial expressions alone when they turn back to her at once.

"You didn't mention Giratina, it's unlikely that it was the reverse world, which means that it is another world entirely." The man hums thoughtfully as he slips into their food truck.

"Call us when the twerp comes back." The woman said tossing her a burner phone. Plumeria accepts the phone and makes her way to Kukui's house. She wanted to take a look at the place that her kid and her kid's siblings, called home. She sees that the front door had not been repaired, and some of the windows had yet to be replaced.

Her hands skimmed across the bare wood floor, it felt rough. She could see where the repairs were made. Some expertly done and others done by novices. This wouldn't do, this wouldn't do at all.

She searches for the phone and finds it on the floor. She dials the number for Shady house's only landline and waits.

"Hello?" Bane asks cautiously, good, though Plumeria was going to lecture him for answering the phone in the first place.

"Gather the supplies from the garage, bring sealer from the store and wax as well. Then have at least five or six others accompany you to Mele Mele, and head to Kukui's disaster of a home." She hangs up and walks around the home to take stalk of what else needed repairing.

Lillie's room for sure, though she can see that it had been cleaned up nicely.

She was going to clean this place up nicely. And then when the kids came home, Plumeria would make sure they knew she was ready to kick in faces for them.

* * *

Guzma had learned so much when he worked at Aether. About pokemon. About people. About people with special abilities such as aura and psychic abilities.

He learned even more from raising the Type ~~Full~~ Null. How they were sensitive to human emotions, and capable of reading intent. Able to taste the deceptions that Faba expertly wove over Guzma. It was Keleawe who taught him the most, Gula had mostly kept to himself and Silvally had at the time been unnamed and secluded.

It was because of them, that Guzma could keep from projecting his inner most thoughts and feelings. It was what he taught to Gladion to help him bond with Silvally. 

It's what he had to put into use once again when Ash and Lillie dropped into his life. Guzma focused not on pushing everything down, but acknowledging it and letting his mind focus on the present as he follows Mew to Kukui's house.

He must not be doing it well, or Ash was particularly sensitive today as he bolted up from the stairs and flinched. An unknown pokemon floated beside him, watching Guzma. 

It might be that he was far more sensitive, Mew seemed especially concerned as it left Guzma's side. 

"Too much?" He asks, calling out Golisopod. Pokemon helped him better than people, even so, Guzma took a step back and pushed back his feelings even more.

"I'm okay, I-" he violently flinches into himself, horror splashed across his face as his hands come up, almost as if trying to ward off something.

"Pikapi." The door silently swings open behind him, he sees a new brat in a lab coat. A young Professor, no doubt Gary Oak.

"Get inside Ashy." The boy orders, arms crossed over his chest as he watches Guzma with a ferocious glare that could put a snarling charizard to shame.

Ash looks conflicted, torn between staying and running. Guzma makes the decision for him and takes a step back. His expression crumples as he turns on his heel and runs inside and then keeps on running, the back door slams shut. 

"You must be a friend if Mew is hanging around you." He states, eyebrow quirked as he looks to Mew who flies up and over the house and most likely after Ash.

"That however, means nothing, to me." Guzma likes this kid, he doesn't put up with anyone's bullshit. He has his priorities straight, even if that makes him the bad guy. But he needed help too.

You can't shelter someone from the world forever. Especially after they've experienced first hand it's ugly side, that would only cause friction between both parties. This kid was so used to defending, that he didn't recognize when he should learn to let go.

"You need to stay away from him. Don't bother with trying to call him, the idiot still hasn't gotten a cell phone yet." Guzma grunts softly as Golisopod slumps down on top of him with a soft trill. Guzma uses his elbows to adjust his arms so that they rest more comfortably on him.

"Did the ultra beast get to him?" Guzma asks, he needs to know, those things drain people and as an aura adept that would have had disastrous consequences. 

"No. He did grab hold of its tentacles when it possessed Lusamine." There was a small sigh of frustration. "It was that place. It was made up of those without aura, the people and pokemon. It was an empty and all consuming abyss that was draining all of us the longer we stayed there." He was haunted by this experience. 

"Listen brat." He scoffed, offended but Guzma continued regardless. "Know when to fold and when to stand tall. Right now, dealing with your trauma on top of his? That ain't gunna fly." He clicks his tongue, eyeing the unknown pokemon, he looks faintly irritated.

"I get it already, you don't need go rub it in." Interesting, telepathy. He glares at Guzma then drops his gaze the floor with a huff.

"Look, just... right now isn't a good time for any of them. I don't really care about these other two, not when Ash and mama are my priorities but for now, just let them all have their space." He stuffs his hands into his coat pockets and turns to head back inside when Guzma takes a step forward catching his attention.

"Caring about only a handful of people makes it easy to not be hurt by the world anymore. But the world isn't always out to hurt you, you shouldn't always shut it out." Guzma can remember sitting at the Ruins of Abundance with Nanu as he spoke. He hadn't taken his words to heart back then, Nanu had told him that he knew he wouldn't take them to heart. "There are so many beautiful things out there in the world that we're missing because of the way we think." He paused, inhaling sharply before stepping into the house without another word.

 _ **"He needed to hear those words, blinded as he is by grief, I do not know of any way to make him understand that he will cause more harm than good at this rate."**_ The pokemon nods to him and with a flick of its tail it floats inside.

Guzma sighs and leans back, Golisopod picks him up and then waddles off with Guzma dangling in his grasp. Guzma smiles to himself, he will always be small enough for Golisopod to pick up. He remembers how it used to be the other way around. Him holding Wimpod, hiding him when he was scared until he felt brave and strong. And now, Golisopod carries and shelters Guzma whenever he can.

"Let's go home." Guzma has people that he let into his life. People who didn't fit in and saw the world as cold and cruel just like he did. They were his most foul and fearsome younger brothers and sisters. Plumeria was the same age as him and she helped him to look after all of their siblings. All of them misfits and unwanted, only wanted by each other.

Guzma was healing, and so were those kids. It was time he showed them that there were things out there in the world that were still beautiful. He knows they were slowly starting to see the changes in him and Gladion, even in Plumeria.

It was time to make a change to Team Skull.

It was on the fourth day after the kids had come back from ultra space when Gladion and Lillie came to see him.

They looked at him, Gladion actually bit his lip, looking pained before he suddenly hugged him before he could even get a word out. Of course Gladion would know that Guzma got like this after hearing about what happened to them and at Aether no doubt. The kid was just that smart. Lillie, burrowed into his side as well with a sniff.

"You heard, and you were reckless weren't you." He whispered, grip tightening, he looked up with tears in his eyes.

"I can't lose you! _Please!_ She gave us up! After _everything!!!!!"_ He sobbed burying his face in Guzma's chest. Guzma wrapped his arms around the two and sighed.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm the bringer of destruction, nothing can destroy me." He tried to joke, it used to reassure Gladion when he was a small brat. He pushed himself closer to Guzma in response and Guzma holds them as tight as he can.

"Trust me. I'm not gonna let anyone get rid of me, not when i decided to leave my own mark on the world." Guzma spends time reassuring them until they no longer hold onto him in a death grip. But his hatred for Lusamine grows for the pain that she continues to put them through. 

Golisopod trills and shuffles as he peers at them with soulful eyes, Guzma feels a smidge of guilt when he shakes his head. At least until Lillie shifts and holds out her hand, Golisopod shuffles forward and slowly moves to embrace them. Guzma watches Lillie melt into his side and pat Golisopod enthusiastically. Gladion shifts so his cheek rest on Guzma's chest.

"Lillie." He sighs, Lillie looks up, her chin digging into his rib as she smiles with red rimmed eyes.

"I can touch them." She giggles, Golisopod wastes no time and lifts them up off the floor and curls over them.

Then Ash came with Gary Oak. He was weighed down by additional trauma and doubt. Guzma could only offer him advice.

"The road to recovery is not a linear path. There are bumps and blocks. Sometimes you have to back track but when you get passed the hurtle, you're so much stronger. I recently had a setback too." And then instead of asking the question he wanted to ask, he asked about Guzma's job. Guzma was having a lot of fun with that to answer him. The betting pool had quite a large sum in it. He wanted to see how long it would take before Ash had to be told.

These kids were brave, so very brave and stubborn. One broke free of the chains completely, happy as can be in his arms as she rubbed her hand along Golisopod's side.

The other became even more bound, dragged down by the weight of his trauma. Flinching back because of Guzma's memories.

Yet he continued to walk on, kicking and screaming. Trying to stand his ground and leaving to avoid causing any strife. And from the sound of things, he was trying his damndest to bridge the gap that had cropped up. He knew that this kid was one to roll with the blows and come back up swinging or at the very least carefully maneuvering himself to an advantageous position. 

Guzma was going to help this kid. He was going to help him because he was asking for help as Guzma had once years ago. And even if there were dozens of other people willing to lend a hand, one more wouldn't hurt. It would only increase the odds in his favor.

And Guzma was a destroyer.

He was going to destroy these chains of trauma binding himself and those around him.

He was going to be free.

They all would, this was his grand trial and he would pass it come hell or high water.


	24. If Kindness Lives In Everyone Then All It Takes Is Standing Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: invisible- Zara Larsson

Ash is shifting in place with his backpack on his shoulders. Rowlet and Scraggy are in his backpack, Pikachu on his shoulder, and Pika!Mew in his arms. Lycanroc, Bayleef, and Torracat are at his feet and Charizard waits for him outside. 

Lillie has her hair in a high ponytail, she's wearing leggings and a short sleeved sun dress with small floral patterns at the ends.

Gladion has his hands stuffed into his hoodie and Kukui's bag settled across his shoulders.

"Okay. We're ready for school, let's get going." Kukui can see their anxiety even as they all try to smother it.

"Hey, we don't have to go in if you don't want to." They all shake their heads.

"I want to see/check on the others." Lillie and Ash say, both of them share a smile at their similar words and Kukui nods in acceptance. 

"If it gets too much then you need to let me know." They nod and the walk to school is silent.

Ash is standing behind Kukui and Gladion as the class rushes forward and hug Lillie. They smile at Ash, asking after him and Ash smiles at them. Kukui can see the way his hands tremble as he hugs Mew closer.

Mew looked as exhausted as the kids.

Gladion nudges him with a pointed look and Kukui makes his way to his desk to sit. Gladion sets his bag down and Kukui lets the kids mingle until the bell rings. Ash doesn't seem as lonely this time, which is a relief even if Ash can no longer touch anyone. The relief of the kids is palpable.

Kukui is relieved to see all the kids are safe, though all of them have dark circles under their eyes.

They must all be having nightmares.

"Okay class, today we will skip lessons and do something else. Ash, Lillie, Gladion you probably have an idea of what I'm going to do." The three nod at him and share smiles. Kukui still has yet to see Ash make any origami but he has no doubt that Ash can. He just chooses not to, Kukui won't push. He seems to have fun watching others fold paper.

Especially Pikachu.

"I'm sure you've all heard me say this before. But busy hands make something something." Mallow nods, he has no doubt that she has been cooking whenever she could.

Kukui passes origami paper to everyone, making sure to pass enough to Ash and his pokemon. The pokemon easily begin folding while Ash watches them as do a few others. Charizard and Torracat opt to sleep with Rowlet.

Kukui goes through the steps to make a few simple origami creations. Kukui turns to Gladion who is asleep leaning against Silvally so he leaves him be and watches the kids from his desk. They seem to have fun, showing each other what they have made and then exclaiming in surprise over Ash's pokemon and their origami.

"When did you teach Pikachu origami?" Mallow asked, Ash grins at her from where he is setting the paper creations into a small basket.

"Gary taught him three years ago. Scraggy and Bayleef learned from Professor Oak and i think Mew always knew but likes to watch most of the time." Kukui smiles as the kids move their desks so that they all face each other. He's glad that the kids are all get along now. He's upset that the kids all had to face this type of danger, that they all carry scars now. He's glad that Faba is gone and can no longer cause them any problems.

"Alola kids!" Principal Oak says as he walks into class, Kukui waves at him while the kids call back to him in greeting. Principal Oak eyes them all and then nods to Kukui before catching sight of Kukui's leg and makes his way over to him instead.

"I can see that they were all affected by this event." Kukui wonders where he is going with this, at least he was until Principal Oak hands him a letter.

"Think long and hard about this, i agree with Lusamine but ultimately the decision is yours." He makes his way out of the class while Kukui peers at the letter.

It simply reiterates what Gary had told them before he had left. And then it goes on to say that Lusamine would speak with Burnet about everything else so she could tell him in person as it was sensitive information. Kukui wonders what it could be about but shrugs to himself and puts it off until later. Burnet would let him know and then they would figure out how to tell the kids.

They weren't going to be keeping any secrets from them. Not about anything when they had all worked so hard to learn to trust.

"Oh... Lillie show them." Kukui looks towards Gladion who sleepily rubs his eyes and then he grins. That's right, the kids haven't seen Lillie touch other pokemon.

"Lillie!!!!!!" The kids cry out as they pile onto her when she gets up and hugs Ash's pokemon, and any other pokemon that was within arms reach. Kukui feels so proud of her and how far she has come. Ash grins from where he sits at his desk, he looks at Gladion and Kukui and his grin widens.

The walk home, well Kukui was on Charizard's back, was relatively peaceful. Sure there were still whispers about Ash and his status and about Lillie and Gladion. But they kept one another occupied with talks about traditions and legends or myths while Ash absorbs it all with childish enthusiasm.

Kukui finds it strange that Team Skull was silent and wondered if they were planning something big.

"We should do some more training!" Ash says as they near the beach, he doesn't waste time and rushes off with his pokemon chasing. Kukui thinks he forgot that Charizard was carrying him as the fire type takes off while Kukui shouts and clings tightly to him to avoid falling off.

* * *

Lillie laughs, she can't really help it. Leave it to Ash to get so excited about training that he forgot everything else.

She remembers how she and Ash had trained with Snowy. And then Gladion had come back into her life and offered to help train Snowy as well. Though their training was brief, Snowy was capable of using a few attacks and it had come in handy when Faba had taken them.

Lillie looks down at Snowy, the vulpix coos at her and she smiles.

"What do you say about training some more?" Snowy yips excitedly. Brother has already called out his pokemon and together they run down the beach to where Ash is profusely apologizing to Professor Kukui. Their foster father laughs and waves off the apologies, and asks for a lift to the porch where he would sit down to watch over them.

"Okay Lillie, did you want to start this?" Lillie nods and lets Snowy hop down from her arms.

"Alright Snowy, we've come far, but we still have a long way to go before we've caught up to any of the others." Snowy crouches, their opponent this time is Rowlet.

"Okay Rowlet, get ready!" He coos as he raises his wings

"Powder snow!" Rowlet takes flight while Snowy ices the floor between them until she has a perfect ice rink. "Drop the temperature!" Snowy exudes frost and snow starts to fall, though it does melt before it hits the ground but enough of the snow catches on Rowlet to affect his flight.

"Leafage and follow it up with a spin!" Ash commands and Lillie crosses her arms over her face as leaves obscure her view of Snowy. Lillie remembers pain, she brushes it and breathes, there is only warmth here. 

"Snowy use hail, then follow up with powder snow!" She can feel joy and excitement across from her, then Rowlet is visible with Snowy in his talons. Snowy yelps as Rowlet does a twirl midair and then releases her.

"Peck!" Lillie doesn't even get the opportunity to shout at Snowy to dodge, though it proves unnecessary when Rowlet hits the floor asleep. Ash laughs, tugging his cap up as he calls out that he gives while moving to retrieve Rowlet.

"Nurse Joy said nothing was wrong with you, but i haven't had a pokemon fall asleep this much since Snorlax." Ash pauses, peers at his shoulder where Pikachu sits and chuckles. "Nevermind. Snorlax doesn't sleep as much as this." 

"Umbreon shadow ball!" Gladion calls out and Lillie focuses on her new opponent.

"Snowy dodge then hail!" Snowy barely dodges in time, Umbreon is prepared for the hail as is her brother.

"Quick attack then dark pulse!" Lillie grins, she can see brother having fun as well.

"Aurora veil!" She calls out just before the hail stops, Snowy and Umbreon are at a stale mate.

"No Mew!" Ash tumbles between the pokemon as he tries to grab hold of Mew and barely grabs the tip of Mews tail. Ash climbs to his feet and tucks Mew into his arms as he softly scolds the legendary about trainer etiquette. Lillie glances up and sees a Masquerain, brother whistles sharply and holds out his arm, Masquerain lands on his arm with a letter.

"Anakala sent us a letter." He says as he shifts Masquerain to his shoulder, she and Ash move closer to him.

"He says that it's okay if we don't visit him and Plumie, that they'll try to visit us from time to time. And that we should focus on recovering first and visiting second. Also he got in contact with Hobbes, he should be coming over later today to hear the good news." Lillie squeaks, she had forgotten to contact Hobbes!

"And that we need to really watch out backs now. The business with ultra beasts is far from over, that we should direct our questions to Burnet and if we feel they haven't told us everything then to send a response with Masquerain." How did Anakala know about ultra beasts? Actually, what did he do?

"We can ask Burnet-hakase when she comes..." Ash paused and glanced over at the house. "Will she come back home?" He looks confused, Lillie feels confused. Professor Burnet wasn't in the house when they left this morning for school.

"You don't think that she left now that Ash's mother left, do you?" Asks brother as he pets Silvally. They walk towards the house in silence, Professor Kukui is watching them with a worried frown.

"Is there something that you need to tell us?" Asks Ash hesitantly, Professor Kukui nods and pulls a letter out of his lab coat pocket.

"We need to wait for Burnet, she should have more information on what's going on with the ultra beasts." Lillie was relieved that Professor Burnet was coming back. Ash decides to take the time to bathe his pokemon while they wait.

Lillie shoots up from her position at the table at the sudden feeling of rage. Brother has his hand on her elbow but she doesn't look at him as she stares outside. She sprints to the door, brother at her side and Professor Kukui hobbles after them with a worried exclamation.

She throws open the door and sees Ash kneeling on the floor with his hands spread out, Charizard behind him growling furiously, Torracat pinned to the floor by Lycanroc, Pikachu is crouched down before Ash with Rowlet flapping his wings above him, and Bayleef and Scraggy are beside Lycanroc and Torracat looking ready to intervene. 

"It's okay, right buddy? You're just mad, but you shouldn't hurt people when you're mad." Ash speaks softly, keeping his hands spread out to hold back his pokemon. Lillie nervously wrings her hands as she watches Ash climb to his feet, his pokemon reluctantly staying where they are.

"It's just like Infernape, and like Infernape, i trust all my buddies." Ash reaches forward, Lycanroc growls at him but Ash doesn't flinch, he waits. When Lycanroc stops he moves again until his hand rests on Lycanroc's snout.

"We're buddies right?" Lycanroc's fury vanishes between one blink and the next. He steps back and Torracat gives himself a shake to rid himself of sand.

Lycanroc stands up and licks Ash's face and all is well as far as Ash and the pokemon are concerned. Lillie glances at brother but he hasn't said anything and his pokemon are still inside. She glances to her right and sees Professor Kukui with a pokeball in hand and his hat. He breathes a sigh of relief and lowers both items.

"We're going running. Be back!" Ash says and takes off as if his pokemon hadn't been ready to throw down with each other mere seconds ago.

Lillie watches Ash run into the distance with a laugh and smiles to herself. 

"Want to wait out here?" Professor Kukui asks them as he settles down into a chair they had left outside for him. They settle down to wait for him to return, and for Professor Burnet. 

* * *

Ash slows to a jog when the pokemon have outrun their adrenaline surge. He checks with his pokemon to make sure they are really okay and to reassure Lycanroc who isn't running beside Ash today.

"It's okay, i know it was scary and strange but as long as you learn to control it, it won't be so scary. Promise." Lycanroc stops completely and looks down, Charizard lands beside him and talks about Infernape. Pikachu chiming in when Charizard went off about strength.

"It took a while for Infernape to learn control and that was mostly fear and frustration that held him back. But we worked hard, no matter what he threw my way i took it and showed him that it would be okay." Ash drops to the floor and hugs Lycanroc close. "You're a good boy. The best. And I'm always going to be on your side." Lycanroc places a paw on his back with a small whine of concern. Ash leans back and glances over to Pikachu who nods and hops up onto his shoulder.

"I'm made of sterner stuff!" Ash holds up his arm and clasps his hand on his bicep. "I can take anything you dish out, just like when we were learning rock throw!" There was still some insecurity but with reassurance from the others Lycanroc was okay. Ash wanted to show Lycanroc how he felt, if only to get rid of some of the insecurities that lingered. He didn't like when his pokemon hurt. 

Ash held Lycanroc's face between his hands and suddenly he could feel the insecurities fade away and love and excitement grew. Ash pulled his hands away in confusion and saw his fingertips were glowing. He clenched his hands and opened them but the blue was gone.

"Was that my aura?" He asks, opening and closing his hands. Pikachu holds out a paw, Ash grabs hold but nothing happens. Pikachu shrugs and he frowns as he tries to think about what he had done. He had simply thought about his love for Lycanroc, Pikachu was his partner through thick and thin. He doesn't know if he would've been okay if Pikachu hadn't been there and- so much love and joy, pride, and wonder.

Ash laughs and reaches out to his pokemon. Showering them in love and pride.

It doesn't take long to get back home, he even arrives at the same time as Burnet-hakase. Ash looks at his hands, then to his pokemon and wonders if reaching out with his aura would help. He didn't want to give anyone false hope, he should practice with his aura some more.

He knows that Sir Aaron had given him some knowledge on healing and defense in hopes that it would help him. Ash has yet to actually use the knowledge but maybe he can learn from it.

Maybe he could learn how to use aura in a way that felt natural to him. He knows he can't use it the way that Riley or Lucario could.

Maybe Anakala could help, he seemed to know that Ash had aura before he ever said it.

"Rowlet, can you do me a favor later tonight?" Rowlet coos and settles down to sleep in his backpack without another word.

"Welcome back Ash." Ash smiles as he takes off his shoes and makes himself comfortable beside his pokemon not too far from the others on the couch.

"Lusamine told me many things today... things that i, we, have decided you have the right to know. We won't be keeping any secrets from the three of you." Burnet-hakase starts, Kukui-hakase sits beside her with his laptop on his lap. He flips it around so that they can see the screen and a graph?

Ooh, its fluctuating in a wave like pattern.

"This is how we have tracked ultra wormhole energy. I never really questioned why Lusamine had that set up... i should have." She says, looking away with guilt in her eyes. Kukui-hakase grabs hold of her arm and she nods, the guilt fading.

"What I'm going to tell you must never leave this room." Ash doesn't like conversations like this. They always ended up making him sick to his stomach with another file in his record being redacted.

Or paperwork. Lots of binding paperwork.

"We are not the first people to have been into ultra space, we are the first to have been in the ultra deep sea." Burnet pauses, there is deep sorrow filling her being. "People that have been to ultra space are called Fallers, they attract ultra beasts because they radiate energy similar to that of the ultra wormholes." Her voice quavers, but she pushes on when Kukui-hakase grabs hold of her hand.

They resonate in their feelings, hurting and offering comfort and through that she draws strength from him. It was kinda pretty to watch, like a flame growing brighter.

"Interpol was aware of the ultra beasts long before Lusamine and Mohn had discovered them. Lusamine was the one who made great strides in her research, Interpol used that to their advantage to keep track of the creation of fallers. The people that slipped into ultra space or ended up abducted by them." Ash felt cold, the void felt as if it had opened then between one blink and the next it was gone.

Ash glanced down at his hands, Pikachu worriedly looked up at him.

"They died didn't they." He says flatly, he remembers the auraless people and pokemon in ultra space. There were too many to count and at the same time too little left behind to differentiate them as individuals. It was silent, Ash looked up to see everyone looking his way but he stood his ground.

"There were too many people and pokemon there." Kukui-hakase looked away from him, Burnet-hakase averted her gaze and Lillie and Gladion looked at each other.

"Interpol was using them as bait to lure out the ultra beasts." She admitted shamefully as if she was the one to help.

"You didn't know about it." Ash tells her, then jerks back when her aura skyrockets with anger.

"No i didn't! I didn't know a lot of things because i didn't ask! I was so amazed by everything i was told, so amazed by Lusamine and Aether that i didn't question anything! I should have! Why didn't i?!" Her voice cracks and Ash has yet to move from where he flinched back into Charizard's side. Her shoulders heave, tears trickle down her cheeks and then her anger dissipates. 

"Ash, I'm sorry, you're not the one I'm angry at. I'm angry at myself." Ash reaches up when Charizard snarls, his finger touches Charizard's chin and he's instantly calmed by Ash's emotions.

"I know. It's just very strong and sudden." He explains, Lillie nods in understanding from where she huddles beside Gladion. "I don't understand why you feel guilty. If Lusamine chose to keep you in the dark, she wouldn't tell you if you asked. Lusamine is in charge of Lusamine." Burnet looked at him, she didn't seem weighed down anymore, but there was still something there.

"Be that as it may Ash, i still should have asked questions. But i didn't and that will be my burden to bear." Ash didn't understand this resolve for carrying guilt. He should ask Jessie and James about this later.

"So that's why it feels like we brought something back with us." Ash mutters to himself as he looks at his hands. His aura briefly illuminates his fingers before he pulls back and wonders how it clings to them. He couldn't feel anything off with his aura, aside from it being slow to recover and more sensitive. 

"Ash." Ash looks up to find everyone staring at him. Ash looks at his pokemon but they are also looking at him. He tilts his head in confusion, Mew drops down to lay around his shoulders.

"What do you mean?" Ash hums and looks at his fingers again.

"Everyone has aura, but not everyone can use it. It's what makes pokemon different from people. They can use aura aligned to their nature. While Aura Guardians can uses aura in its true form, no elements needed." Ash thinks about the memories that Sir Aaron had shared with him.

"What exactly does that mean?" Ash gestures to Pikachu as he begins to talk.

"Pikachu's nature is electric, his aura manifest as electricity while Charizard's is fire, Scraggy's is dual nature of fighting and dark. Lucario is a better example, they are fighting and steel type but they can separate their aura until it is neutral. That is aura in its truest form, even normal types use their aura with some type of element mixed in." Ash thinks about his Snorlax and Meowth.

"Normal type is a watered down fighting type aura, when Meowth uses fury swipe, he coats his nails in aura to make them stronger and bigger right? If he used aura in its purest form." Ash points his finger at the floor and pokes a hole into it, the floor simply giving way instead of breaking or cracking. "It would leave more damage than thin lines, it would be like punching a hole through objects with nails." There is silence, Ash takes this as a signal to continue.

"As we grow older, the less aura we maintain." He can see Lucario fading right before his very eyes. "But we still retain it, that's why when people and pokemon die, they don't revert to crystals." Lucario's hand slip through his, he smiles as his eyes shut and then a beautiful ethereal crystal takes his place. 

"Stoutland didn't retain any aura when he passed." Ash thinks about the night that he had felt the aura fade, Litten's grief. The small bundle of crystal located in that home reclaimed by nature. He wonders if it is okay to leave it there. Torracat settles down in his lap seeking comfort that Ash easily gives.

"That place was draining us, all of us. That's why Mew and Mewtwo had such a hard time." Ash knows they would have still struggled here if they faced the ultra beasts, but it wouldn't have been as bad.

"They still haven't recovered, neither have we." Ash glances at Mew who had only been able to transform into Pikachu for a short while then dropped the transformation when they reached the school.

"It's why we're all so tired and why Mew can't stay transformed." Mew nods in agreement.

Ash thinks about mama and Mimey, then Gary and his pokemon.

"You can't keep this a secret. You need to tell everyone that's gone to ultra space." Ash looks at Burnet-hakase and Kukui-hakase. They share a look and then nod solemnly at him.

"We will." Ash can read her hesitation and gets up from the floor and takes the phone. He dials in a number then enters in his trainer id number.

"Ash?" Ash smiles, leave it to Lance to be wary even though Ash is the only person with his number and trainer id as a security code.

"Can you send mama and Gary those special phones you pass to the G-men and send one connected to them to Kukui-hakase house?" There is a second of silence before Lance responds.

"They will arrive in a few hours. Dragonite will deliver them, the security code will be your trainer id. They can only be used once before they will short circuit." Ash thinks about the tablet that had self destructed.

"They won't blow up right?" He questions in a hard tone, he would not put his mama in danger and Gary would be fast enough to run.

"No. They will just cease to work." Ash heaves a sigh of relief, he can hear Lance hesitate and looks over his shoulder to Pikachu. Pikachu nods and quickly scampers over and onto his shoulder.

"Chupi. Pikapi. Pikachuchuchupika." Pikachu says into the phone and Lance laughs.

"I get that your trying to reassure me, but i still can't understand you Pikachu. It's only dragon types." Lance mutters something under his breath. "I'm glad you're doing better Ash, should you need anything else..." he trails off and Ash nods.

"I know. Thanks Lance." He hangs up and glances over at Burnet-hakase and Kukui-hakase, both of them were staring at him in shock. "Lance is going to be sending some phones to mama, Gary and me. You could use them to tell them about what you told us." Gladion looks at him with a smirk.

"They're secure aren't they?" He asks and at his nod he snickers at Kukui-hakase and Burnet-hakase's expressions.

Ash looks to Lillie who shrugs in response.

"We'll talk about this later." Kukui-hakase says after another minute of staring, Ash leaves it alone and makes his way back to his pokemon.

"Right, that brings me to why Lusamine decided to inform me about this." She and Kukui-hakase share a look, their auras mimic each other in sorrow and anger. "She wanted you kids to help fight any ultra beasts that make their way into our world and help return them back to theirs." Ash doesn't even have to look at anyone to notice how they all instinctively object to him have anything more to do with ultra beasts. 

"I'll pass." He says before anything can be said, he can feel their relief. "That's not to say that i won't help when you need it." Ash looks at his hands and thinks to himself about trying to reach out to Anakala or Gladion since they were good at dampening their emotions.

"We're going to make sure you kids are safe and that you aren't alone. You deserve a normal life, and we're not going to let it get taken away from you." Kukui-hakase swears, Ash can feel the weight of his promise.

"I still have to rebuild the machine that opened the ultra wormhole and come up with the figures to actually open one, but that can wait until I've created something to secure the ultra beasts." Ash can feel Lillie's confusion as she speaks up.

"But wasn't that machine untouched? I know that none of our pokemon hit it." Burnet shrugs.

"Someone broke into Aether and it was lost in the ensuing battle. The person responsible was cleverly hidden behind smoke the whole time." Ash doesn't look at Gladion when he can suddenly feel something from him. Lillie doesn't either.

But now Ash thinks that Anakala had something to do with it.

* * *

Burnet feels like the kids took the news well. Kukui even seemed to be on her side, though she does regret losing her temper in front of the kids. She knows how sensitive Ash and Lillie are to emotions, Ash even more so at this time.

"Want to talk about it?" Kukui asks as he knocks on the bedroom door. Burnet shakes her head.

"No, it's fine... i might not be pleasant to be around right now." She says as she makes her way towards the bedroom door. "I'll be back in a few hours." Kukui looked at her, she looked at his arm in a sling and his foot in a cast and felt her guilt threaten to drown her.

"Shoot me a text when you'll be coming, though everyone will probably be awake." He tells her as she leaves and Burnet almost looks back at him. But if she did, she'd turn right back around and stay. She couldn't hurt these kids anymore.

"Burnet-hakase?" Burnet looks at Ash's worried expression, the way he seems to huddle in on himself as he hugs Scraggy closer and knows that she can't stay here. She needs to leave before she gets anyone else hurt because she never thought to seek answers from Lusamine.

"I'll be back in a little while." Ash looks her dead in the eyes then looks above her. Mew lands on her shoulder and transforms into a Rowlet.

"Come back safe." He says and makes his way towards his room. Burnet doesn't look around as she makes her way out the door but can feel the stares.

Burnet sits at Oranguru's and stares into her cup with somber eyes. She shouldn't be feeling upset over leaving. She and Kukui had decided to mutually break up. _Hadn't they before? And hadn't she regretted it?_

She had hurt the kids. Lillie and Gladion through willful ignorance. Ash through association. All three when they wound up going to ultra space to rescue Lusamine and then again when she and Kukui had broken up.

"Oh shit, not you again." Burnet looks up and it is the same pink and blonde haired woman from the last time she was at Oranguru's. She doesn't see her friend, the door opens behind her.

"Holy radiant one. Why?!" She turns only to see the guy literally walk into the door. He groans, muttering something under his breath before waving a hand in her direction.

"See ya round Guru." He says as he wraps an arm around Burnet's shoulders and bodily drags her out. This reminds her eerily of the last time they had dragged her out of Oranguru's to buy casual clothes for a date and proceeded to list in detail why she should go on a date. Every other reason being it was painful for everyone to watch them and just get together already!

"Wait, no, this isn't-" the man whirls around and points at her.

"Listen B, you have no idea how painful it was to watch you and that guy make milktank eyes at one another. It was sickening! So you better swallow your pride and listen." The woman at her shoulder nods, texting someone.

"So we are going to get another outfit, you two are going to go on another date and then talk everything out instead of making decisions based on taking the easy way out. Bulu! How the hell are you too so smart and so stupid?!" He shouts in frustration as he storms off ahead while the woman ushers Burnet forward.

"Did someone say outfits?" Burnet looks up and finds the owners of the Bewear Malasadas food truck. The man and woman smirk and suddenly they both have an arm around her shoulder.

"We'll take it from here." They say and then Burnet is taken from shop to shop. Trying on and discarding clothes. Getting a manicure and pedicure with the man and woman. It's actually very relaxing.

"Well?" The white haired man asks when they exit the shopping center. The man and woman beside her shoot him the thumbs up.

"Good, now you get home and don't let us see you moping at Oranguru's again! Ruins the taste." The man complains as he stomps off with his friend. Burnet feels a sense of familiarity but chalks it up to the last time this happened.

Mew snickers and drops down onto her shoulder as a Rowlet when another Rowlet flies by and lands on the white haired man's shoulder.

Burnet makes it up the front steps and suddenly feels so very small. She hesitates, she had felt courageous and full of joy when she had walked up to the house. She was going to ask to stay permanently and see Kukui again and so many other things.

The door opens suddenly and she jumps. Gladion looks at her and he looks so young. She can remember him crying and looking so lost as he held onto both Kukui and herself. Burnet opens her arms and he takes a single step forward and just falls into her side. He doesn't hug her back and she knows now, she had hurt the kids far more than she had realized.

"I'm sorry Gladio." She whispers as she holds him tightly. He relaxes completely but still doesn't reach out, she's going to have to work hard to prove that she won't just abandon them. But this guilt will teach her to appreciate her loved ones.

"Let's get back inside." She ushers him in and closes the door behind her. Ash is staring at the ceiling while lying on Charizard's back. Lillie is tucked against Silvally with a book and a cup in hand. Kukui is typing rapidly with several sheets of paper spread out on the table.

"Wait, am i missing a page?" He stops and begins to flip through the pages, Mew drops down and picks one up off the floor. He thanks Mew and then slams his head against the table.

"Alright, i give up for tonight." He mutters into the table, Burnet laughs as she remembers similar scenes of him passed out on the table during finals.

"Rude." He mutters, she sends Gladion towards his sister and clears the table and grabs herself a cup of tapu coco.

"Shall we watch a movie?" She asks as she makes her way to the couch. Ash rolls off Charizard and makes himself comfortable by using Lycanroc as a body pillow. Lillie sets down her book and Kukui shoves his laptop away.

"Let's watch..." Burnet pops a movie in and waits for the menu to press play. Everyone slowly gathers around.

_ Peter Pan _

* * *

Gladion listens to Burnet and Kukui tell the other students. Ash is holding a phone, and every once in a while when Burnet is taking questions, he can hear Gary and Ash's mother talk.

"I have Mimey to watch over me, don't worry boys." But Ash visibly worries even when he says to have some of his pokemon look after her. Gladion wonders if it is normal for kids to worry about their parents and their parents reassure them that all would be well.

"Okay. I'm still telling Hoopa to keep an eye on you." Ash mutters, Pikachu nods from his shoulder and that ends their conversation. The phone visibly breaks and Ash pouts before tossing the phone into the trash across the room.

"That brings me to my final question." Burnet raises the chalk board and presses her palm to a circular pad. The tree trunk to her left opens to reveal an elevator. "Will you kids help us capture the ultra beasts and send them back to ultra space before they can cause any harm?" Gladion smiles when everyone instantly looks to Ash who is staring at his hands with a contemplative look.

"I don't want to seem rude... or like I'm looking down on Ash, but..." Mallow shifts nervously.

"I don't think Ash should participate." Kiawe says and Ash looks up noticing everyone's stares.

"I won't. But i already decided if you need my help i will help out." The others look relieved, Gladion should tell Guzma about this. He knows that he'll have some choice words to say but this is going to be something that they have to do.

It's their presences that will call the ultra beasts to Alola now that the space between worlds has thinned. They should take responsibility. 

"Please step onto the designated areas." Burnet gestures to the elevator, they all climb in aside from Burnet, Kukui and two of Ash's pokemon that stay beside Ash.

Gladion crosses his arms over his chest and watches as they descend.

"This definitely screams mother." He says, Lillie blushes behind him.

"She's so childish!" She whines in mortification. Gladion looks at the armor they wear and then sighs as they reach the bottom to reveal an underground base.

They clear out of the elevator and next comes Ash, his Bayleef and Pikachu, Burnet and Kukui while Mew teleports in.

Ash looks at the armor amd makes an excited sound as he rushes over to his pokemon and looks them over. Gladion is looking over at Clefable, the fairy type hugs Lillie and pets her hand with a smile. Gladion makes his way over and crouches down and sinks into the hug the warm fairy gives him. Sometimes if he tries hard enough, it almost feels like mother's hugs.

The screen above them flickers as Gladion rises to his feet. Its mother.

He hasn't seen her in about a week now.

"I see you've decided to take up the mantle of Ultra Guardians." She smiles, Gladion looks away. She's in a hospital bed connected to various machines and she doesn't even care. His hands clench, a hand grabs his and he relaxes. 

He looks up as Lillie intertwines their fingers and stands at his side.

"Now I'm sure that Burnet has explained why the Ultra Guardians are needed but she hasn't gone over your equipment." Clefable runs to a small cart and pushes it towards them.

"Now, we were working on these for quite some time, Burnet was able to expedite the process this week and managed to get them completed. We're in the process of mass producing them right now but here are the first twenty that we had created. These are Beast balls." She pauses, completely winded and Burnet takes over.

"They work similar to pokeballs." She says taking the small blue grid pokeball and expanding it with a push of a button. "You have to weaken the Ultra Beasts and capture them. Though, i am still working on repairing the machine to create the ultra wormholes and i still need to calculate the frequency to create small openings." Burnet sighs as she sets down the Beast ball.

"So at the moment if you are able to capture any Ultra Beasts they will have to sit in the Beast balls." Gladion looks up when Mew teleports into the cart and grabs a beast ball before teleporting back to Ash's side.

"We should probably carry these around even when walking around, if we're being targeted, then we might as well be prepared." He says as he looks over the Beast ball. 

"We should also have a way to know about the ultra beasts that enter our world when we aren't in school." Ash says looking over at Rotom who was exploring the room. Rotom floats over to the screen.

"Would i be allowed to download any information you have on the ultra beasts and your network to locate them." 

"Go right ahead Rotom. And children if you have cellphones, please insert them into the panel once Rotom has finished." Gladion wonders if he should get a cell phone now.

There's a ringing noise, it's sudden and even mother looks taken by surprise.

"Already? Well, it looks like you just might be going ou-" Ash interrupts her, though he looks wary.

"It's small, and it's already going to close." Gladion does not like the look in mother's eyes as she sets her sight on Ash. Especially when he proves to be correct and the ultra wormhole closes without anything having emerged.

"Now how did you know that?" Gladion and Lillie move as a single unit and capture mother's attention.

"I see you are doing better." Gladion says as he keeps everything he feels as far from the surface as he can. Mother focuses on him and Lillie, Gladion can see that her eyes no longer match theirs.

They are lighter and brighter. A shade that wouldn't look out of place on a poisonous flower.

"You should be resting mother." Lillie doesn't shrink into herself when speaking to mother. And mother doesn't have anything to say to them, doesn't even try. Gladion wonders if their break through was forgotten.

"I'll let you know when there is an ultra beast sighting." She claps her hands and then tells them some more about the base, the ride pokemon, the first aid kits there were only two. Filled with max potions, full restores and berries. Gladion makes note to stock up on some for himself and his pokemon.

Gladion cringes when mother tells them about saying "Ult-roger!" In response to her issuing commands. He was not going to say that.

"We should all have out own first aid stuff to carry. Brock made sure i started to carry one around when he stopped traveling with me." Ash says as they return to class. He fidgets and Gladion can remember how hard going to the store was for Ash.

"I have time, i can go and be back in time for lunch." Ash's hands clench and unclench as he rocks back on his heels before he leans forward with his eyes closed. Gladion catches Ash's hand and stares at the way his hand almost seems to glow. Its blue, but it isn't just blue, its a myriad of colors flickering and cycling like a pattern on glass. It ripples as it wanes and flickers as it grows. He can see white, muted by gray and an almost blue color, while a bright yellow is offset by a dark purple.

Ash tugs his hand back and Gladion lets go, Ash looks at his hand with a frown. He looks back up at Gladion and extends his hand again, Gladion does the same while keeping an eye on Ash. Ash grabs his hand and smiles. It's like the first time he shook Ash's hand several months ago.

"I think... i know how to do this." His grin is sincere and Gladion is amazed all over again by Ash's unwavering spirit.

"You're amazing." Gladion grins at Ash with pride, Ash flushes and rubs the back of his head.

Ash and Gladion make a list of what to get, the quantities and then Gladion goes off with Lycanroc, Bayleef and his Lycanroc to help carry everything back to the school.

Gladion wasn't even in the store for longer than a few minutes before a cart settled beside his and a hand came down on his head.

"How you doing kid?" Gladion shrugged as he kept removing full restore and max potions off the shelves. "Want me to come over later?" Gladion looks down at a full restore as he remembers mother's eyes color and how she didn't pay any mind to either himself of Lillie.

The full restore blurs in his hand and before he can move he finds himself in a tight embrace.

"You're doing just fine. Take your time, I've got you." Gladion thought he had hardened his heart to his mother, but she had given him false hope and left him with the realization that she cared about them but they would always fall behind her obsession with the ultra beasts.

He hates it.

"Sometimes parents are assholes, and they let you down. You don't have to take that shit, and as much as i like to shit on Kukui, he really is doing right by you." Gladion knows how much Anakala hates talking about Kukui, this was high praise coming from him.

Gladion pulls away and makes to wipe his face but he's beaten to it. Plumie roughly wipes his cheeks and then delicately dabs at his eyes.

"Chin up and let's hurry up so we can talk." Gladion snickers as she punches Anakala in the arm. And makes him take Gladion's cart.

"This is a lot." Plumie whistles, Gladion nods and looks at the total then at Ash's card. He passes it over and is surprised that it went through with the amount that he was charged. He thinks about how much he should pay Ash back for his and Lillie's share when he's nudged by Anakala.

"You don't have to pay family back, if you want to you can. But the brat seems like the type to take care of his friends and family. Discuss it with him." Gladion nods, he doesn't want to presume despite how Ash has previously splurged on buying stuff for both him and Lillie. 

"She did what?!" Gladion passed a napkin over to Anakala, he quickly wiped his hand and tossed his cup into the trash. Gladion looked over at the Bewear Malasadas workers taking their break to listen.

"The twerp doesn't need anymore on his plate." The woman points out, Gladion raises his hand.

"He's not, he made a point to say that he will help if we need it." The woman sighs and the man mutters something into his palms.

"That woman has a weird obsession with him, best to not get her hopes up and get someone else to replace him full time." The man says when he lifts his head out of his hands. The meowth nods.

"What about dat uder twerp, da one that sits with our twerp." Gladion scowls and Plumie laughs from his side.

"He's your friend, why do you always get sulky when he pops up." Gladion says nothing, the idot had attached himself to Gladion one day and that was that. He kinda grew on him, but Gladion didn't want him to think he won, the idiot had too many stupid ideas. 

"We'd have to check with Kahuna Hala." Gladion doesn't like Hala, he refused to take that man's trial after the comments he'd made about the man who had raised Gladion. 

"The brat's one of ours." Gladion looked at Anakala, his smirk was smug and Gladion sighs.

"Now I'm stuck with him." Gladion was stuck, well not stuck, he was going to need to reestablish boundaries. "He better stay out of my room." Gladion complains softly then glares when arms wrap around his neck.

"I knew you loved me!" Gladion calls on Lycanroc, his Lycanroc picks up Hau and licks him repeatedly. "Don't push your luck." Hau is laughing to hard to be paying him any attention but Gladion doesn't mind. Hau was more like a cousin than a brother, Gladion wasn't going to lose anymore family, so he'd get over himself.

"We're going to set some ground rules now, you make sure to tell those other two." Gladion nods, whistling to call off Lycanroc. "Good. First things first. School comes first, no ifs ands or buts about it." Gladion nods, he wasn't going to let anyone miss out on their education.

"Second, no one does night shifts. You and Hau here can but that means you don't answer the call in the morning." Gladion nods, he knows that even with this rule, Anakala would try to make sure they weren't called.

"Third, no skipping school for any of this. I'll make sure that everyone doubles down on training and see if we can get more pokemon." Gladion nods again. 

"Fourth, I'm sure is the brat's doing, but everyone carries first aid supplies." Gladion thinks about was quick to point out several things that mother had not in regards to them and wonders if it is trauma or experience that had him speaking out.

"Ash told mother to let us carry the beast balls with us even if we aren't on the job. And to give us a way to track them when we weren't active as Ultra Guardians." The Bewear Malasadas workers sit up and Gladion goes over what they know about the ultra beasts. He knows Ash cares about these people and he wouldn't want them hurt, so he tells them about the dangers and they nod.

"We're not on the job here, we'll make sure to not go after those things. The twerp would do something twerpish if we even tried." 

"I'd be happy to help you out! We'd get to spend more time hanging out." Gladion feels a little guilty, he knows that Hau had been lonely when he had first been approached by him. 

"Want to help me carry this to the school?" Gladion almost regrets asking when Hau tackles him off the bench. Might as well get used to it now, and establish boundaries.

"Get off." He says shoving at him, Hau laughs but gets off and helps Gladion to his feet.

"Alola Hau!" Gladion looks over at Kukui and shoves Hau at him. Gladion passes Ash back his card and a receipt.

"You don't need to pay be back. Everyone's safety is a lot more important than how much money was spent." Gladion likes this attitude, its refreshing. He doesn't understand why more people cant be like this. So caring.

It definitely suits Ash, caring more about the people and the pokemon than material possession.

"I want to see Anakala later..." Gladion nods, he'll talk with Ash and Lillie later.

After Gladion takes Hau to the base, and gives him two beast balls to keep on hand, and making sure he has the ultra beast tracking software on his phone, Hau heads home.

Class continues on, Gladion is not sure if he missed out on School or not. He had an education, he had siblings to go to the library and recieve an education with. But that wasn't the same.

"I know its been a difficult time for us all, in light of that, we will not be having any quizzes and your next test will be two weeks from now." Gladion thinks they might have it better here. Anakala and Plumie took every opportunity to test them on their knowledge at home.

Nanu did too when he popped around.

And Acerola...

Not fair.

Gladion calls out Silvally and sits down to rest until class ends. His pokemon gather round him and he lets himself nod off to the sound of Kukui lecturing. And Lillie answering questions.

Silvally bucks and anxiously tugs at his hoodie. The school bell begins to ring repeatedly. When he opens his eyes, Ash is standing up facing the back of the class. 

"That isn't a false alarm." He says shakily, his Charizard roars and takes off through the balcony, Ash doesn't call him back. He looks to Gladion and Gladion nods, Silvally was already restless.

"We'll be back." Gladion watches Ash and Kukui stand three feet apart, watching as they couldn't go and he realizes that this was going to be hard.

Mother is on screen, Wicke is beside her with a worried frown. Mother looks a little worse from earlier, but she smiles then it falls when she doesn't see Ash but she doesn't bring it up.

She shows them a video, an ultra wormhole opeing in the filming of the tv show Rotom watches. Its red and black, huge and very strong.

Ash's Charizard was strong. And fast.

Gladion looked behind him but he could only see Kiawe coming up while the others had stayed behind to help Snorlax and a few Passimian.

"Whoa!" Kiawe exclaims, Gladion can only nod as he held a hand up to shield himself from the pressurized wind. Charizard roars, claws extending and Gladion is vividly reminded of what Ash had done the other day.

"Brother! Kiawe!" Lillie calls out just as Charizard and the ultra beasts are thrown away from one another. Silvally watches the ultra beast. Gladion pets him, urging him to remain calm, silver eyes glow with wisdom.

"I... i think... the ultra beast is lost." Lillie says as the ultra beast begins flexing like some body builder.

"Gladion looks at Silvally who has remained docile in the presence of this ultra beast and knows that she is onto something. Gladion steps before Charizard and holds up a hand, Charizard flaps his wings but comes to a stop. He snorts at the ultra and looks over to Lillie and Kiawe who flex at the ultra beast. Lillie is red in mortification but she still continues as she speaks with the ultra beast who nods. 

Lillie tosses a pokeball, Kiawe dives forward and tosses it towards the ultra beast. 

"It's a good thing class was actually over." Gladion sighs when he realizes that they had left the school during school hours. Charizard huffs and nudges Silvally who nods once. Charizard takes off, Gladion smiles to himself when he turns around to see Lilllie waving her hands around in embarrassment. She was redder than a tomato berrie.


	25. Shattered To Pieces, You Found Me Am I Someone That's Worth Saving Anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: in pieces- citizen soldier

Ash looks over at Anakala, his heart is racing and he's already sweating. He inches closer, his pokemon behind him and Golisopod is next to Anakala in case Ash can't make himself move closer. 

"Don't push yourself." He tells Ash with concern freely flowing. It was different trying to reach out when he could feel their emotions. He knows he can touch Anakala, he touched him before and now?

Golisopod hugs Ash as he tries not to cry. This was hard, he misses Kukui-hakase's hugs, Gladion's hugs, Lillie's hugs. He misses the friendly pats on the head and dancing.

"It's okay to cry, you're doing the best you can." Ash rubs his eyes and pats Golisopod a few times. "We just need to take it a step at a time, go at our own pace." Ash nods and tries again but when he reached out, it felt like he was burning. He could feel the phantom feeling of something wrapping around him. 

Ash blinks and sees that he's buried in Lycanroc's fur, Bayleef and Pikachu are behind him, Scraggy is using scaring face at Anakala and Golisopod is chittering as he combs his appendages through Anakala's hair.

"I think you should work with Gladion first. Then Lillie, and then me." Ash feels kinda strange, like when he and Greninja first tried bond phenomenon.

"Fucking-" Ash can't keep his eyes open, he's exhausted. _**'Sleep, i will watch over you.'**_ That was Mewtwo...

"ChuuuuPikapi." Okay, he was tired anyways. Torracat settles on his back and the last thing he can think of is apologizing to Anakala.

"Ash?" Ash burrows closer to Lycanroc, he still feels exhausted. Pikachu pets his hair, chirping softly under his breath for him to wake up but it didn't sound like Pikachu wanted him to wake up. Scraggy walks down his spine and he can feel Rowlet settle down on his head.

"Bayleefbay." He can smell something sweet.

Ash can feel the sun, he sighs and quickly takes in his surroundings. He's outside the house, near his room with his pokemon and Gladion is leaning against the wall with a smoothie in one hand and one of his journals in the other.

"Morning, Hobbes took Lillie and Kukui to school already." Ash looks up at the sun for a few seconds.

"It's ten." He groans while rubbing his face.

"Kukui said it was okay if you didn't go in today." Ash peers at his pokemon, none of them make any movements to get up.

"I think my aura hurt Guzma yesterday." Ash looks at his hand, he can feel his aura writhing angrily inside him. It feels like something is wrong, something is very wrong but he can't do anything about it.

"You didn't hurt him, he made sure to stick around to tell me that." Ash looks up, Pikachu nods. "He said it look like you got overwhelmed and shut down." It didn't feel like that happened, but Pikachu nods in agreement.

"Is he not going to come back?" Ash asks quietly, Scraggy looks up at him with concern.

"He should be here in ten minutes, he said something about making sure the both of us eat." Ash feels relieved, he thought he might have hurt Anakala. He never wanted to hurt anyone but somehow, he seemed to being doing just that.

"Up we go, let's go inside." Gladion says, Ash climbs to his feet and makes his way inside, looking over at his pokemon who yawn and stretch but follow at their own pace.

After a quick shower, Ash is sitting at the table with Gladion having made smoothies for them. Ash takes his glass and takes a few sips, its really good.

"How long does it take for aura to replenish?" Ash stills, thinking about every single time he had used aura, most of the time it was unconsciously done. He thinks about the time it was purposely used and breaks the glass in his hand.

"Don't move." Ash stills, barely even daring to breathe, panic claws at his chest. **Slow breaths, calm, safety.**

Gladion cleans up the mess and picks the glass out of his hands. He wipes his hand with a damp towel and applies something to his hand before he begins to put band aids on. His heart no longer feels like its in his throat, Gladion doesn't ask again and serves him a new cup with a straw this time. It's a swirly straw that Lillie had bought, she had a handful.

"I don't know." Ash responds after a few minutes of silence, Gladion stretches his hand across the table and holds out his hand. Ash reaches for it after a minute; his hand was cold and at the same time warm.

"Your scared of aura too, aren't you?" Ash isn't scared, he isn't fond of it, he doesn't really care for it and he doesn't want it to define him. "It's okay to be scared if you are." Ash looks up at him. He doesn't think anyone's ever told him that. Kukui-hakase had been the first person to tell him he was hurt even though he wasn't actually injured, had said he would heal.

"Tell me what color your aura is." Ash looks down at his hand, it flickers like shattered glass, dark and murky. "Do you want me to tell you what i see?" Ash looks at him, Gladion holds Ash's hand in both of his and points at his thumb.

"This is dark purple, there are softer shades but they are buried." He moves to his index finger. "This one looks white, but it shifts and is taken over by blue, it covers your whole hand." He moves to Ash's middle finger.

"I can see a cheerful yellow here, but it's small and hides under a shades of gray, it smothers the yellow." His ring finger is next. "There's blue here, but it's different from the one that covers your hand, its soft, steady, sometimes wavering but there."

Ash looks at his hand and he can see the colors Gladion is describing. It's like looking at patterned glass.

"Here i see pink and red, it's pretty to look at. All the shades shift rapidly, oh, their gone." Ash looks at his hand but he can still see what Gladion had described. He pushes aura into his hand, Gladion rests his index finger on Ash's palm.

"There's a spot of black here, but it looks small." Ash wonders what the colors mean. He looks at Gladion but its almost like Gladion has no presence.

"What do you feel right now?" Gladion looks up and smiles, it small, more like a twitch of his lips.

"Suprise, amazement, curiosity." Ash can feel each one and can see pink, soft shades of blue and specks of white lining Gladion. The rest of his aura is muted, Ash pokes at it and watches Gladion burst into laughter, bright yellow blossoms before him.

He kind of wonders why he felt indifferent to it before. He knows aura can be used in many ways, none of them had ever felt right to him, but seeing the shrinking yellow and soft pink shades centering it.

"I never really noticed how pretty it is, maybe i thought about it but i never _noticed_ it until now." Ash looks towards the door when he senses a presence as muted as Gladion used to be.

Anakala walks in and sees them at the table, he frowns.

"What happened to your hand? Wait, no, did you eat yet?" He glares when they don't respond and takes his bag to the kitchen. "You both aren't leaving the table until you've eaten." Gladion smiles fondly and lets go of Ash's hand to drink his melted smoothie. Ash follows suit and wonders what Anakala's colors look like.

Ash thinks about how he had felt safe, as safe as Kukui-hakase. Pikachu looks up at him with a smile, yellow aura with soft shades of pink, blue, yellow, white, grey. Shifting like a mirage.

"Can I touch you?" Ash asks, Anakala spits out the water he served himself. Ash waits for him to stop coughing, Gladion is laughing into his hand, Mew is too. Anakala looks at him, points while coughing into his elbow and then tosses a pokeball out. Golisopod takes up a lot of space in the kitchen, somehow he makes it work while he continues cooking.

"You didn't answer my question." Ash frowns as he gets up and drags Golisopod out of the kitchen. Anakala crosses his arms over his chest and sighs.

"You should try with Gladion and Lillie first." Ash looks at the foot of space between them and takes a step forward.

"You didn't say no." Anakala rubs the top of his head and lowers the heat on the stove before holding out his hand. Ash grabs hold of it and coaxes his aura into his hands, Anakala's hand is still muted but Ash pokes at it like he had with Gladion. He can see shades of white and black coiling around his hand with hints of bright/dark red and blue, several shades, if he tilts his head.

"Something hurt you too, right? Like Lillie." He stiffens and Ash can see a small pattern like the ultra wormhole around his right shoulder. He can see bits and pieces of it around his chest, neck and waist as well. He remembers that Lillie had a pattern like it behind her left ear in the shape of a star.

Ash reaches out and pokes the iridescent pattern.

"Hey! Hey! Come on brat, wake up!" Ash feels nauseous and dizzy. It takes a minute before he can even open his eyes, Pikachu is next to him. Anakala and Gladion are above him with looks of concern.

"How you feeling?" Ash feels cold, the void is there at the back or his mind. The void that he hadn't been able to tell where it was. He sits up and crosses his legs, he grabs Pikachu and really looks at him. He sees the same iridescent shimmer at the tip of Pikachu's ear. 

He grabs Scraggy, the iridescent shimmer is on the end of his tail.

Lycanroc has it on his left forepaw, Torracat has it on his collar, Rowlet on the tip of his beak, Bayleef has it on her head leaf. Ash turns around and sees it on Gladion's cheek, right where Lusamine had cut him.

"Ash?" Ash looks back at his hands, then his legs and finds it. 

"I found it." Ash pokes it, he flinches as he feels as if he is suffocating in a void, the abyss is reaching out and he is helpless to stop it. He's pulled back, and Ash feels relieved.

"The piece we brought back, you found it." Ash nods, he looks towards Mew and Mewtwo. Both have it on the middle of their paw pads.

"What piece?" Gladion takes Anakala and quietly explains everything to him while Mewtwo and Mew converse above him.

Ash climbs to his feet and ushers his pokemon out of the kitchen. Gladion and Anakala finish talking and then he goes back to cooking with a contemplative look.

"At least eat half." He says when he sets a plate of pancakes on the table. Ash nods and sets about eating the pancakes even though his stomach is churning. 

Anakala keeps an eye on Gladion as he eats his own pile of pancakes. It's peaceful.

"Your road to recovery and mine differ, we both go at our own pace." Ash nods, Gladion sighs and softly agrees. Apparently they were both thinking the same thing, about getting Anakala and Kukui-hakase to become friends again. 

"For the love of-" Ash looks up just in time to see Mew steal a pancake from Anakala. Ash looks at the two he had left and slides the plate across the table. Mew grabs his plate and floats off to the ceiling with it.

"Sorry, Mew likes sweet things." Ash laughs as Mew twirls around Mewtwo. Mewtwo sighs and makes his way outside. 

Ash and Gladion clean the house from top to bottom after breakfast, Anakala is already making them lunch when Ash can feel Burnet-hakase.

"Burnet-hakase is coming." Anakala looks at him for a few seconds then dives out the window. Ash nearly topples off the chair he was standing on to dust the bookshelf but Mew steadied him. Gladion moves away from the fish tank and makes his way to the kitchen, taking over as if nothing had happened. Ash shrugs and goes back to dusting, the shelf got dusty pretty often.

Ash barely finished dusting when Rowlet settled down onto the top of the shelf. Ash snickers to himself and decides to leave Rowlet be.

"Ash!" Ash jerks away from the shelf, turning around at the panicked shout. He only has a second to register the loss of the chair under his foot before the world violently twists, his hand shoots out to grab onto the shelf and he misses. Ash has only a moment to think about not dusting when Burnet-hakase is around before his pokemon dive after him. 

"ASH!!" Charizard is gripping onto his arm, Bayleef's vines are wrapped around his chest, Rowlet is holding his left arm, Lycanroc is beneath his right, Pikachu was under his head, Torracat was standing up with his paws on Ash's shoulders as if to hold him up and Scraggy was wrapped around his ankle. Mewtwo had caught hold of him using psychic, Ash laughs at how his pokemon had all tried to stop him from falling. It wasn't even that far off the ground, he would've been fine.

Mewtwo sets him down and Ash pets all his pokemon. Thanking them for trying to help him, he feels concern and looks up to see Gladion and Burnet-hakase. Gladion looks him over, smiling in relief before he heads back into the kitchen. 

"Are you okay?" Ash nods and climbs to his feet while dusting himself off.

"I'm fine, I didn't even touch the floor." Mewtwo shoots him a skeptical look while Mew looks knowingly towards Pikachu.

"I'm so sorry, i didn't mean to startle you!" She reaches out, pulling back her hand when Ash shifts back half a step. Ash frowns and moves back but she backs up a step. "No, it's okay. It's your personal space right?" Ash promises to do better, he doesn't like that he made her feel hurt and upset.

Ash bends down and scoops Scraggy into his arms.

"I was finished cleaning anyways." She smiles and makes her way to the kitchen playfully bumping her hips into Gladion's and taking over. Ash knows this distance between them was his fault.

 _ ** ~~It is no more your fault than it is theirs.~~**_ Ash smiles at Mewtwo and makes his way to his room, Pikachu climbs up onto his shoulder before he is even halfway there.

"What do you think buddy?" Pikachu crosses his arms over his chest before holding up a single digit.

"Pika!" He says, Ash nods and grabs his newest journal and a few slips of origami paper before he exits his room. He waves off lunch until later and makes his way to the roof.

"Mewtwo, have you made contact with that other Mewtwo in Unova?" Mewtwo crosses his arms over his chest.

 _ **"Yes. She has chosen to remain in Unova but we have spoken at length."**_ Ash starts writing down what he knows about Mewtwo. Both of them. Their abilities, strengths, and even how friendly they were.

"I wonder who created her." Mewtwo says nothing but looks up at the sky. His tail flicks behind him and Ash sets his pen and journal down, he reaches out to touch Mewtwo. He doesn't touch though. 

Mewtwo extends his paw so that Ash's finger tips touch. _Love, friendship, kindness, hope._ Mewtwo looks faintly surprised, his eyes crinkle shut and he receives the same feelings. Ash grins and pulls his hand away, he looks out over the ocean and breathes.

"It's peaceful here." He nods, Pikachu is making ninja stars. He takes a slip, folding over and over again. He sets it down and grins when it flutters off with the wind. 

"Bye Pidgeot." He feels just a little bit home sick.

Lillie smiles as she patiently holds out her hand. Gladion is lying on his bed reading one of his journals, he thinks it might be Sinnoh. He can feel Burnet-hakase and Kukui-hakase downstairs, they seem sad and hopeful. 

Ash focuses back on Lillie, he easily ignores the star pattern by her left ear, it was much smaller than before. He reaches out, he ignores the iridescent spot on her right shoulder. Lillie was safe. She was kind, and patient, and sincere.

His palm rests on her palm, his skin begins to crawl, but he ignores it and focuses on her aura. The pinks and blues mixing with the soft white and yellow. He makes to reach out and ends up flinching back as he suddenly feels something wrap around him. He shakes his hand and rubs his arms, the feeling fades and he stretches his hand out again.

Lillie lowers her hand slightly and reaches out to him this time. Ash accepts her hand, both of them are shaking now and suddenly Ash remembers the day he first went to Lillie's house. 

_"I'm not afraid but something. There was something that happened to me... I know it." Lillie says, Ash nods, reaching out to grab her hand._

_His hand is shaking and his heart js pounding in his chest, her hand shakes too. She laughs, it sounds like relief and understanding. So Ash tells her the honest truth._

_"You're so brave Lillie."_

"You're so brave Ash." She smiles at him, head tilting slightly as she mimics the past. Ash laughs, holding her hand in his and even though it burns and his heart pounds in his chest, he feels relief.

Ash looks down when his vision begins to blur. Lillie sits up and embraces him, Ash laughs and he cries when it frightens and calms him at the same time. He doesn't care about the fear, nor does he care about the feeling of burning, he simply hugs her back and breathes. Because Lillie is brave and so is Ash.

It feels like home.

* * *

Gladion sets the journal in his hands down and makes his way over to Ash and Lillie. He wraps his arms around them and rests his head on Lillie's, he meets Silvally's gaze and smiles to himself. 

This was his family.

They were brave and strong and he couldn't be prouder to call them his.

They eat dinner, Ash asking Kukui about class, Lillie asking Burnet if they can watch a movie after dinner. He smiles at the smiles and laughter, it's not as chaotic as Shady house but it was just as pleasant.

"I've just about finished with the ultra wormhole generator. Wicke is working out the program with some assistance from a few others but it's looking like we'll be up and running by Thursday at the latest!" That's still three days away, well two and a half. Hopefully they don't run into anymore until then.

Sophocles starts the morning by telling them about a fairytale. Then he mentions finding the origin of the fairytale. Gladion is instantly suspicious. 

But as Gladion looks over at Ash and Lillie's excited faces, Kukui who laughs unrepentantly. He can already see where this is going.

"Fine, I'll go to. Somehow i feel like this is a trap." Sophocles grins and Gladion can see that everyone has fallen hook, line and sinker for his tale. He settles back into his corner and reads the newest poke geographics magazine. 

Mew settles down on his shoulder and peers at the article, Gladion shifts so Mew can read if they wanted too. He waits patiently, Mew flips the page then giggles and floats off, he shrugs and continues Professor Oak's latest article.

Ash and Lillie stare, Ash warily reaches out and steps back after a moment.

"This is an ultra beast..." no one moves, then Ash grabs a shovel and begins to dig. Gladion looks over to Lycanroc and whistles once before calling out Silvally. He snorts at the ultra beast and makes himself comfortable and the floor as he takes a wait and see approach.

Ash frowns over his shoulder at the trees, Tapu Koko floats over and points at him.

"They need help." He says, Tapu Koko says nothing except to point once more at him. Ash sets his shovel down, he is sweaty and covered in dirt but doesn't seem afraid or wary so Gladion continues to dig. The others pause to watch but the pokemon continue.

"It wont." Ash says suddenly, Tapu Koko nods and floats off, Ash huffs indignantly. "Hit him extra hard next time Pikachu." Pikachu nods from where he is using iron tail to practically vaporize the hard rock clinging stubbornly to roots.

Rotom contacts Burnet about the ultra beast when it begins to ready itself for launch. She sends them their ride pokemon carrying the first aid kits and beast balls since they were too far from the school they couldn't get changed and had to wear their every day clothes.

They create several barriers to reduce the amount of damage the ultra beast could do to the forest and had to hope for the best.

It turns out just fine, _this time._

Gladion watched the ultra beast fly to the moon with a smile at them and wonders if not all the ultra beast were bad.

Buzzwole and this Celesteela certainly had been pretty peaceful.

He was beginning to wonder if he was wrong in condemning mother for her obsession with the ultra beasts. He wonders if his disdain for them is wrong. He looks to Ash and Lillie who smile at the ultra beast and thinks about Guzma who had been so scared when he took Gladion in.

"Father... what is right?" Gladion asks as he looks past the ultra beast and up at the moon. He looks away and thinks about visiting Nanu.

He needs guidance right now.

"I'll come home later." Kukui and Burnet nod at him even though they look confused. Lillie looks worried but smiles in support. Ash gives him Scraggy and walks off, Gladion looks down at Scraggy while Scraggy looks up at him. They shrug and leave. 

Gladion goes home to sleep, Anakala goes to sleep in his room. He kicks the bed once when Gladion still hasn't gone to sleep and threatens to have Golisopod hold him. Gladion turns onto his side and falls asleep with Scraggy in his arms. 

Plumeria is ushering him out of his room, Anakala has long since left Gladion's room and he can see that its nearing eleven in the morning. She walks with him while he eats a sandwich. 

She stops just down the street from the police station and ruffles his hair before walking off. Gladion dusts himself off for crumbs and steps into the station where dozens of Meowth are lazing about.

"Nanu." He calls out and makes sure to check around but Nanu isn't in. He sighs, scratching the chin of one Meowth while petting another. Scraggy sits on his shoulder and leers. "You don't know where he is do you?" He asks but receives no response and sighs before exiting and calling out Lycanroc.

"Sniff out Nanu for me please." Lycanroc nods and takes off while Gladion follows sedately.

Gladion freezes when he sees a dark light up ahead, Scraggy stands up and he runs. He sees the Bewear Malasada workers, Acerola and Mimikins, a Gengar and Nanu. Acerola looks beat up, but she's cheerfully making friends with the Gengar after it got beat up.

"Acerola, are you alright?" Gladion asks as he runs the last few steps, she smiles and dusts herself off.

"I'm fine, meet my new friend, Rapoo." Gladion freezes, the Gengar smiles at him and Nanu shrugs.

"Rapoo, as in the Greedy Rapoo?" She nods and he takes a moment to assess the ghost type before shrugging to himself. If anyone could handle this pokemon, it would be Acerola.

"Nanu, do you have time?" He looks Gladion over and then waves at the trio behind them. Gladion falls into step beside him.

The walk is long and quiet. Nanu doesn't glance his way, nor does he call out any of his pokemon. He simply lets Gladion be and that is something that he really didn't want at the moment.

They traverse the desert to the Ruins of Abundance with nothing but the wind and silence as their witness. Oh, and Scraggy. The tenacious dark type sat imperiously on his shoulder, watching Nanu and offer him a conciliatory pat on the shoulder when a particularly harsh wind almost swept him off his feet were it not for Nanu reaching out to grab hold of him.

"You're seeking answers aren't you." He states when he sits down just before the stairs on the altar. Gladion sits cross legged across from him and calls out his pokemon. He hesitates for a moment but calls out Silvally, Nanu stares for a moment, then drops his gaze and looks skyward. 

"Kahuna Nanu, i seek your wisdom and your guidance." Gladion speaks, bowing his head and waits. Nanu sighs, he knows how much the older man likes to put off his duties, yet he never failed to do them.

"Raise your head, speak and i will listen." Gladion looks at Nanu and pets Silvally's flank.

"I have no doubt that you know about the ultra beasts. About mother's obsession, but i don't think you know how far it goes." Nanu gestures for him to continue. 

Gladion does.

Telling him everything from the start, about Lillie and the Nihilego, and Silvally, about his father's past and that he wasn't dead, his suspicions for Guzma's past. He tells him about the ultra deep sea, the fusion of mother and ultra beast, their break through and subsequent fostering with Kukui. He tells him about Buzzwole and Celesteela along with Silvally's reaction.

"I hate her." He confesses quietly. "And i _miss_ her so much." He whispers even softer, almost wanting to take back his words, Nanu remains silent and Gladion realizes somewhere along the way in his explanations he had once more bowed his head. Scraggy is on his lap looking up at him, holding his fingers as if to console him.

"She hurt you. She made you feel her love and abandoned you and your sister without another thought." Gladion wonders when Scraggy began to blur, the small pokemon reaches up and wipes his cheek.

"She deserves your ire, you don't owe anything to her, not when she's proven to have failed at parenthood long ago." That was true, Gladion had known it when he left Lillie all those years ago. That he would only be coming home to one person, but could he even call that place home? It was cold, expansive and lonely, while Kukui's place was small, cozy and so very warm.

"You do not have to forgive her, you don't have to accept her or her views. You are allowed to have your own views and if some mirror hers, well, you made those observations on your own." Gladion peeks up at Nanu, his red eyes do not waver from Gladion's bowed form.

"Grudges can drown you if you let them. Or you can decide to forget it and move on. It doesn't mean you're absolving her of her crimes, you are choosing to renounce them and stop letting them hurt you by taking that power away from her." Nanu looks up briefly, Gladion can see Tapu Bulu, he glances back down at Nanu.

"Things can not go back to the way they used to be, they never can. There is only the _Before_ and the _After_ , and how you decide to live your life after you've made your decision." Nanu holds out his hand and gestures to the space between them. Gladion looks at his pokemon surrounding him and looks up.

"Thank you for seeing me." Nanu nods and Gladion leaves as quietly as he had come.

The door isn't even open for a minute before Lillie and Ash crash into him and drag him to the couch. There is a movie on the tv, Ash presses play and sits down beside him with a bowl of popcorn while Lillie has various candies. Gladion takes a licorice and sinks back into the couch.

_ The Jungle Book _

Gladion has chosen the after, with the people in this warm, cozy house on the beach.

He has chosen the after, with a family of delinquents, an island Kahuna and a royal with a penchant for ghost types.

He has chosen the after, and feels the weight in his chest lift just a little. It still _hurts._

Ash is slumped against him fast asleep, arms looping around his and buried in pokemon. Lillie is curled into his otherside and clutches his hand in both of hers. He smiles and leans back against the couch.

This is his family, and while it hurts that he no longer has mother, might never have had her, he knows he will be okay.

Burnet and Kukui grin at him and take away the bowls of popcorn and candy while shutting off the tv and covering them with blankets.

He had something better now in this after.

* * *

Guzma takes one look at Tupp's live stream and powers down his phone. He gets off the couch and lies down on the floor staring at the ceiling, Plumeria lays down opposite of him and turns her head so she can look him in the eyes.

"You okay there boss?" Guzma thinks about the brat and his Pikachu fighting Tapu Koko and winning. As in tag teaming with one another and wailing on the god as if no one had told him it was blasphemy.

"Life is a lie." She looks at the ceiling and then mutters an agreement. Plumeria holds up her phone when she receives a notification and tilts the screen so he can see. The damn brat is fighting a Marowak now. _Him,_ not his Pikachu.

_"You need to challenge Marowak more, i had the same problem with Charizard. I didn't challenge him enough, but we fixed it in the end. Right buddy?" A Charizard roars and the brat laughs as he catches a bone club in one hand and use his foot to flip marowak like a pancake._

"What even is this brat?" He complains as Plumeria sets her phone down. "He seems more pokemon than human, which would explain why he's god blessed." He sighs and goes back to staring at the ceiling.

"Be honest, you enjoyed him kicking Tapu Koko's ass." She smirks, Guzma side eyes her.

"Fuck yeah, doesn't mean i condone it." She snorts but doesn't call him out on his lie.

Guzma has standards. 

Standards that he makes sure his group knows and follows. One such standard is to never sink so low as to accept money to ruin lives. So when Alani comes home crying about Viren cornering her and a few others to hire them, well, no one can blame him for screwing with the man's plans.

"Didn't anyone ever tell ya that if you want to hire someone else's grunt, ya need to speak to the boss first?" Guzma asks as he stands across from Viren with his hands in his pockets. Plumeria stands beside him with her arms crossed over her chest.

Viren smirks and welcomes him to come over for lunch to discuss a business proposal.

"I think you should take a break and grab some Malasadas." Guzma says as he takes a third of the money and passes it to Plumeria. She huffs but accepts the money.

Guzma calls out his Masquerain and waits for his misfits to see his signal. He doesn't have to wait long, there were only seven on Mele Mele island.

"Viren paid us to sabotage the farm on Akala island so he can buy it." He smirks, he can see the second that they catch his meaning and he gestures for them to come closer.

"Now that we've been paid, i think Officer Jenny would be interested to know about some shady stuff going on, wouldn't you?" There's giggling, Kalani starts beatboxing and Bane takes his cue.

"Hey, yo! We are the Skull gang!" Guzma watches the other five sway in place as Kalani and Bane sing their anthem. "I just can't deal with this painful world!" He sees them as the kids that he had first spirited away.

"Beat and smash down the unpleasant world! Smash!" The changes they had all undergone.

"Mess up!" Messing with the plans laid out for them.

"Wreck!" Wrecking their previous lives for simply not fitting in.

"Break!" Breaking free of their torment.

"Collapse pleasantries! Refreshing destruction!" Guzma lets them get pumped up, he sends Masquerain off once more, this time to Gladion with a warning.

They think team Skull is full of delinquents and incompetents, Guzma would show them. They weren't honorless scum like Viren, they were the Great and Mighty Team Skull.

"The god blessed brat stood up for us when we were caught with the milktank." Guzma waits, Zipp rubs the back of his head and shrugs before he looks Guzma in the eyes.

"He told us to be careful next time we help out because people can be cruel and petty." He sounded confused but Guzma understands.

"Even if we help other people won't see it that way." Zipp nods, shoves his hands into his pockets and stalks off with a thoughful look. Tupp and Rapp follow him with equal looks of contemplation. Guzma looks at the ceiling and decides that will be his next project to work on.

Masquerain flutters in and hands him a note. The kids are thanking him for helping out their classmate, though Gladion wrote that Lillie had figured out he was the leader of Team Skull while Ash still hadn't. Guzma laughs, passing the note off and watching face after face either fall or violently palm their face.

Several had lost out on money, it was just him, Plumeria and little cousin Hau in the running. Speaking of Hau, Guzma makes his way over to the kid's room and finds him wrapping up a few presents. He grins to himself and shoves them into a drawer.

"Oi brat." He looks up at him curiously, no fear or anything. "We're going to do training drills, gotta be able to keep up and get stronger if we want to take care of the ultra beasts while the others finish their education." He nods with determination.

"Right! I was going to catch a few more pokemon. Maybe a crabrawler..." he mutters under his breath and Guzma thinks back to some of his misfits who have only one partner. 

"Take a few of the others with you. These ultra beasts are not to be taken lightly, having one partner is going to cut it now." Guzma doesn't want any of his misfits being dragged into the ultra world. He doesn't want any of them marked as he was.

It was frightening watching Ash poke at his shoulder and then pale before abruptly collapsing. He didn't want to think about what type of marks that ultra beast had left on him. Had left on all of them.

"Does anyone have z moves they can use?" Guzma thinks about how he declined wanting to use z moves long ago and grew stronger without them. He feels that his stance hasn't changed, but he had encouraged everyone under this roof to think about it.

"Aside from Gladion, no. Though we have a few trained for medical emergencies, for people and pokemon, they call themselves Team ReSkull." Hau looks down at his z ring.

"Tutu hurt you." Guzma sighs and steps into the brats room then roughly ruffles his hair.

"He didn't do shit but he sure as hell didn't help me either. No, i had my own reasons for not wanting a z ring, as do the others. Besides, our Kahuna is Nanu." Hau smiles in relief and makes his way out, calling out to everyone that he was going to catch pokemon.

Several people call out for him to wait up and Guzma looks back at the ceiling and sighs.

"It'll still be there tomorrow, wonder if Nanu is busy."

* * *

Lillie huddles closer to Gladion as they watch a movie with Professor Kukui. Ash slips out of his room, stares blankly at the floor then makes his way towards them and sits a few inches away from Professor Kukui while some of his pokemon settle down beside him.

"What movie is this?" Ash asks, then double takes and starts laughing. He laughs so hard he topples over onto Professor Kukui and doesn't notice. Professor Kukui smiles and worriedly tries to figure a way to help Ash up. Ash waves him off and sits up himself, Pikachu is curled into a ball snickering.

"This is Tomo's story." And so Ash tells them about the boy he met in Kanto who was raised by Kangashkan. It was amazing and honestly it seemed much better than the fairytale that they were watching.

"What happened to them?" Ash looks over at the tv where the family chooses to stay behind with their son.

"Tomo and his family live with Kangashkan in the Safari zone and protect them. Tomo still doesn't remember them, but last i heard, he can speak Kantonese now." Ash glances down at Pikachu and scoops him into his arms and then tilts so that he is leaning against Professor Kukui. He's tense for a moment before he relaxes with a smile.

"This is nice." He mumbles sleepily, Lillie grins when all she can feel is peace and safety. Professor Kukui beams as he reclines back into the sofa.

Lillie settles back against her brother and closes her eyes to sleep. She doesn't think she will have anymore nightmares tonight.

The next day Burnet swings by school just as it lets out to tell them that she had finished the ultra wormhole generator.

Hau was invited over to watch Buzzwole finally return home.

"Bye Buzzwole!" Everyone waves off the muscular ultra beast. Ash's Charizard even flexes back at it when Ash nudges him. Hau looks down when the ultra wormhole closes, he glances over at Ash and Gladion then down at his wrist.

"I'm going to get stronger." Everyone looks at him in surprise, Ash and Gladion don't. 

"Not all of them are going to be as understanding as Buzzwole and Celesteela." Ash says as if he _knows_ more.

Professor Kukui gave them all the afternoon off Friday. He had work to catch up on and he wanted them all to go out and relax a little. Brother had gone off to train with Hau which left just the class to hang out.

They made a group decision to head to Mallow's family restaurant. Where Ash nearly frightened Mallow's father by hauling flour sacks as if they were pillows.

Lillie froze as she felt something strange, Ash turned back at the same moment. Flour exploded in their faces while Mallow's father gave a cry of pain.

"Daddy!" She cried and struggled to lift him to his feet. Kiawe helped him up, Ash sets the last of the flour down and joins them.

Just in time for Mallow's brother come home. Ash moved behind her when Ulu approached them, Lillie stood her ground and did her best to radiate her calm and trust towards Ulu.

"I can take over for the bread festival that's coming up! Just leave it to me dad! Whattaya say?" Ash moves out from behind her just as Lillie reaches out to stop him from crowding his father when the feeling comes back. Lillie realizes that it is his back and pain that the strange feeling originates from. 

He shrieks and then looks confused, Ash jumps back and shakes out his hand.

"Hold on... did you just take away my pain?" There is a moment of utter stillness before Ash panics and runs straight out the door and onto Charizard.

"I'm sorry Lillie!" Mallow apologizes frantically and Lillie grabs her arm to make her stop.

"No, Mallow." Lillie thinks about the curiosity the Mallow's father had felt and the terror that had crawled down her spine. "I need to look for Ash." She heads out the door and follows after the few pokemon that hadn't been able to follow behind Ash. Lycanroc, Rotom and Bayleef.

She knows that Ash was frightened of adults. That he had been hurt and betrayed and traumatized by something in Kalos.

Lillie slams into someone, she apologizes and pushes past them while keeping her eyes in Ash's pokemon.

She knows that Faba had done the same thing, his words had triggered something broken in Ash.

Ash had _scars_ on his wrists and ankles.

He had aura and was afraid of it even when it made it easy to figure out if someone was trustworthy.

Lillie could hear someone calling out to her from behind but paid them no mind when she lost Lycanroc. She could still see Bayleef though.

Ash was scared and he was trying his best to overcome it. Lillie, Gladion, Professors Kukui and Burnet were helping. Anakala and Plumie were helping.

But there are certain feelings now, she can feel that those feelings directed at Ash frighten him. Innocent things like curiosity, wonder, knowing looks. Dangerous ones like anger, lust, greed, and hate. Lillie has seen what they did to Ash when Faba had taken them.

A hand grabs hold of her arm and Lillie looks back trying to pry the arm off. Its the woman with magenta hair.

"What happened to the twerp?" She growls dangerously, Lillie can feel the fear and worry.

"He was scared, it was an accident but he was scared now please!" She tries to pry the hand free and is released with a warning look and suddenly Meowth is accompanying her when she tries to find Bayleef.

Lillie has searched all of Mele Mele island and can't find any sign of Ash. She doesn't have the range he does but she knows he is no longer on Mele Mele because of her search.

Hau and brother are at the school when she makes her way there. They take one look at her and panic.

"No, Mallow's father accidentally frightened Ash and he took off. I can't find him anywhere on the island." She gasps and then looks behind her when she can feel several presences draw closer.

"Lillie! We couldn't find Ash, Kiawe went to Akala island!" Lillie nods and looks to brother who nods.

They all head into the school to get their ride pokemon, Sophocles staying behind to inform Professor Kukui.

Its night by the time they return to the school and none of them have found Ash.

They have barely gotten out of uniform when mother contacts them.

"Wow, you work fast! I just barely noticed the alert from the ultra beast. Were you able to capture it?" She could feel the terror that gripped them all. Lillie meets her brother's eyes and nods. Anakala wouldn't mind that they disobeyed this time, and if he did, well, it was for Ash.

Which leads to many more hours searching for an ultra beast and finding none. Lillie stretches her meager ability for aura until she's lightheaded and needs to rest.

"I can't... i can't find anything." She whimpers as her head throbs.

They put a halt to their search with bitter regret. Gladion and Hau send them off and continue the search. She has no doubt that he would call Anakala for help.

She resolves to ask Ash to help her train her meager abilities. She was going to protect her family with everything she had. 

When she arrives home, Professor Burnet lets Lillie and Snowy sleep with her and Munchlax. She dozes off after a while of letting Professor Burnet run her fingers through Lillie's hair.

She jerks awake when she feels Gladion come home alone, he makes his way to Professor Kukui for a few minutes before he leaves once more. Professor Burnet sleeps through it all, Lillie slowly falls back asleep when she can feel Anakala and Golisopod nearing the house.

* * *

Pikachu sighs to himself as Charizard cuddles with Ash. Pikachu is tempted to call down the wrath of Giratina on the stupid ultra beast, but it isn't worth it. He snorts and kicks some dirt at the beast ball.

_It had frightened him when Ash had abruptly passed out midlflight. Charizard had dove after him recklessly, but that was alright because Ash was fine._

_Ash swayed in place looking visibly disoriented and confused._

_And then a stupid ultra wormhole had opened up above them and spat out that gelatinous abomination._

_"Pika!Pikachuuuupi!Pikapi chupipika!" Pikachu shouted, as he pointed at the aura eater. Scraggy, Rowlet and Torracat didn't hesitate to attack it. Pikachu fired thunder attack after thunder attack at it. He used his speed and iron tail to smash into it while Charizard defended Ash but their attempts at attacking it were useless. It shrugged off their attacks and dove after Ash. Charizard unleashed a torrent of flames but it was undeterred._

_It wrapped its noodley arms around Ash, or rather it tried. It barely reached out and was grabbed by its stringy arms and swung around and around. Violently slamming into the trees and floor a few times for good measure. Pikachu wanted to watch more, but Ash's safety was more important, so he dug through his partner's pocket and fished out the detestable ball that captures these infernal beings and called out to Charizard. Charizard nods and releases it when Pikachu slammed his tail into the stupid human capture device._

_They watched it rock back and forth before signaling its capture._

Ash woke dazed and confused every few thirty minutes or so. His aura fluctuating wildly, whenever he tried to move. Pikachu worriedly nosed at his temple but could smell no sickness. It was like the first time he tried using aura on the one he called Anakala.

His aura reacted to something and shut down.

Pikachu almost wasn't suprised that it was this particular human that found Ash.

"For the love of-" he growled, pawing at his hair before pointing at them. "I get that you were taking care of him, but couldn't one of you have sent someone to let Gladion know where he was?" Pikachu looks at Bayleef and Lycanroc, thoroughly exhausted from the swim over. Then to Rowlet who could not stay awake for long periods of time. He pointedly stares at Scraggy and Torracat, then to Charizard who is holding Ash. 

"Fine." He holds out his arm, Charizard grudgingly hands him over, growling when Ash wakes up again and reaches for him while being visibly confused and squirming to get away.

"Relax brat." Ash stills and clumsily pats Charizard before he is out once more.

Pikachu doesn't relax until Gladion is nearby with Noivern to take Ash home. Charizard keeps a hold of the infernal device while the rest ride him back to Mele Mele.

Ash spends the rest of the day alternating between awake as he stubbornly goes to school, and falling asleep at the drop of a hat.

For a few hours, its as if he and Rowlet have switched bodies. Rowlet remains perched on his shoulder wide awake until it is time to go home again.

Gladion is the only one around to watch the blasted jelly blob get punched back into the ultra wormhole.

Good riddance. 

* * *

It was long overdue really.

The fact that it took Ash being out of reach and stranded for nearly a whole day on Poni island to make them think of getting him a phone was an obvious sign.

His pokemon looking after him was great and all, not so great when they couldn't go to anyone for help until Ash woke up.

Scarier to realize that there had been an ultra beast, the aura eating kind, nearby and he had not woken at all for it.

So here Guzma was, taking matters into his own hands and taking the kids to get phones. The phone he had for Gladion had been broken by Mew before it ever had the chance of being used.

Ash was sulking the whole way, arms crossed over his chest as he walked behind Guzma. Lillie and Gladion walked on either side of him, sharing looks of exasperation.

"I still don't see what you have against phones." Bayleef and Scraggy shake their heads while Pikachu mutters something under his breath from where he lays on Ash's head.

"I just don't like them. Why bother getting one if it's just going to be useless in a few months? And they break so easy?" He mutters something else about having one once in Hoenn and then La Rousse followed by never again.

Guzma was going to just leave that be and get the brat a phone.

"One of these days, i want to hear about your adventures." Lillie says, her eyes sparkling with interest. Ash blinks, a small smile edging into existence.

"Yeah." He glances at the rim of his hat, Pikachu peers down at him with an enthusiastic nod.

As they step into the store, the kids split up to look around, Guzma heads for the counter where a clerk is sitting, at least until she sees Guzma.

Guzma glared at the clerk, the woman flinched as she moved her hand to the counter. Ash barreled into his side with the weight of a Raichu.

Mm.

Maybe less.

He needs to eat more, Guzma needed to get him to start eating again. Even if he had to start cooking at Kukui's house to get him to eat. Kukui and Gladion's cooking wasn't enough right now.

But the thought of seeing Kukui irritated him to no end.

"You're on my side right? I don't need a phone." He griped, the woman paused, seemingly flummoxed by Ash ' _The God Blessed_ ' and Guzma 'The _Heretic leader_ of Team Skull', arm in arm in a phone store with the prestigious children of Aether foundation.

"You need a phone. Do i have to remind you about yesterday?" Ash winced, releasing Guzma's arm to cross his arms over his chest with a pout. His hands were shaking a little, but he was making progress.

"Charizard got me out of trouble just fine." He mutters petulantly. "'S not like i was hurt." Gladion was trying to find a sturdy phone and Lillie...

was looking...

at the tablets...

"Lillie. Phone." He said shortly, she squeaked and moved away from the tablets. "You passed out, for several hours." He points out, Ash leaves his side with an irritated grumble.

Ash had picked a clunky phone that had an actual dial pad and set it on the counter with a huff.

 _Where_ in the Radiant One did he _find that?_

Guzma stared at it.

The woman stared at it.

Pikachu sniffed it, then nodded.

Lillie and Gladion peered at it over his shoulder and looked at him like they were dying inside.

Ash was completely unrepentant.

This brat is an old soul in a young body.

Guzma wasn't even that old. 

Guzma, and Gladion looked at the saleswoman and she nodded. She went to the back and came back with two identical smart phones. Both sturdy, protective glass screens and hard cases. Gladion's phone choice was shot down by Guzma.

It was a brick lioe phine built for storing battery power.

"You have a home now, you don't need this one." Gladion glared up at him arms crossed. Guzma crossed his arms over his chest and stared him down. There was a weight against his side, Ash was staring at them like he was watching a tennis match.

"You'll just need to sign here." Guzma shoved his hands into his pocket, Ash grinned.

"Did you pick pocket me?" Ash continued to smile, Pikachu smiled with teeth. Guzma wisely kept silent and gathered the kids.

"Their legal guardian will be here in about fifteen minutes to sign. Let's go before i see his ugly mug."

"When did Pikachu learn to pick pocket?" Ash shuffled closer as they walked down the street. Guzma shot a glare at a few passer bys. He was getting sick of their staring.

So what if this kid was God blessed.

He was _still_ a brat.

"Unova. Meowth taught him." Guzma stared. Gladion stared. Lillie stared over Snowy's head.

"A meowth... taught a mouse... crime?" Ash didn't seem to realize anything was amiss. This more than anything is what had the three of them sharing a look over his head as if to say, of course, this is why he reacts differently to everything.

It's not just trauma.

His life is just that weird. 

And he either didn't care, didn't acknowledge it, or, and this was a high possibility...

Didn't notice...

Guzma takes the brats to the Bewear Malasadas food truck. Ash doesn't even wait for Guzma to order before he is slipping around and stepping into the food truck.

"James! Jessie! Meowth! Wobbuffet! I gotta phone!" He shouts as if they are further away then three feet. 

"What? You actually got a phone twerp?" Ash huffs, taking a seat beside the Kantonese Meowth who is taking Guzma's order.

"I didn't want to." Someone snickers, Ash pouts again, and Guzma sighs. 

"This is because no one could get ahold of you yesterday isn't it?" He mutters something, waves his hand flippantly and takes a Malasada offered to him.

* * *

Ash looks up when he feels the familiar steady presence of Kukui-hakase and then glances over at Anakala, talking with Gladion about taking a day off. Ash slips out of the food truck, Wobbuffet follows behind him as they intercept Kukui-hakase.

"Hey." He smiles, holding a bag from the phone store. "The phones are all active, give him my thanks will you?" He says as he nods in Anakala's direction. Ash doesn't see any sign of recognition and wonders if Kukui-hakase will remember if they meet face to face.

Ash nods as he accepts the bag, Wobbuffet salutes and then ushers Ash back to the food truck as someone begins to call to Kukui-hakase. Ash digs through the bag and pulls out three phones, each one is covered with a paper that has their names and is rubber banded to the phone.

Gladion's phone is red, Ash's is blue and Lillie's is an opal color.

"Alright brats, gather round so we can go through a quick tutorial." Ash turns to Pikachu and wonders if its too late to try and get that old looking phone.

Anakala teaches them how to text, call, take pictures, helps them set up email accounts if they don't have them, and then he goes through the app store.

He gives them a brief lesson on social media, Ash can hear Jessie, James and Meowth laughing at him.

"I don't need all that!" Ash huffs, going through his email list and sending them all his phone number.

There's a sudden chirping sound as the phone vibrates and Ash looks at the notifications to see that an unknown number had texted him.

**The baby's being born!!**

A wrong number already? Ash hesitantly taps on the reply bar, and replies;

 _ **New phone, i think you have the wrong number**_.

But before he can send the reply his phone chirps and vibrates again, he clicks on the small triangle and a video loads.

**GET THE PHONE OUT OF MY FACE!!! Deep breaths babe!**

The video cuts out on the red haired woman and the man behind the camera. Ash looks up, he sees everyone staring at him. He can feel heat spreading across his cheeks as he stares back. 

"Uh..." he starts, Anakala snickers suddenly and its like a chain reaction as everyone soon doubles over laughing. Ash jumps as the phone chirps and vibrates again, he juggles the phone as he nearly dropped it.

**We're in room 112!**

Ash panics, he sends his text, with an additional;

_**Is she okay?! She looks like she's in a lot of pain! Where's the baby? Wait, no! Youdinthavetanswrr!!!** _

But it seems that the sender of the texts has already replied with several of the emojis. Ash shoves his phone to the nearest person, James and tugs on his arm. He doesn't register how easy it was to reach out to Jamea, because James, Jessie and Meowth have always been safe.

😂🤣😅🥳

"What does it mean?!" James wipes tears from his eyes and takes the phone. He messages the other person back while Ash anxiously shuffles his feet.

**You sent texts to my friend's phone by mistake, he doesn't seem to realize your predicament and is quite worried about your 'babe' and the baby.**

**Sorry! Was so excited, i thought i was texting my sister. Tell your friend sorry, and that Calliope and our baby girl are doing just fine.**

Ash heaves a relieved sigh, shooting James a grateful look as he takes his phone back. He blinks as there is a picture now on the screen.

The woman is holding a baby, and she's smiling with a man barely in the picture.

**We're doing good! Sorry for the worries bro!**

Ash thought the baby looked cute. He hums, Pikachu presses his forehead to Ash's chin and smiles when Ash glances at him.

_**Can i come see the baby?** _

He texts hesitantly, James says nothing, a wistful look in his eyes.

**Sure thing!**

Ash bites his lip, then notices everyone staring at him with fond looks.

"So..." Ash scratches his cheek. "Anyone want to go see a baby?" He chuckles weakly, Lillie nods enthusiastically, Jessie looks excited and Gladion even nods. Anakala waves his hand.

"Count me out. I will never voluntarily step into a hospital for the rest of my life, but get a card for me." He rises to his feet and waves at them as he walks off. 

Ash set the brand new phone down onto his desk. His pokemon crowded around him to stare at it, then left it one by one as they all lost interest. Ash warily eyes the phone as it begins to vibrate nonstop. He picks it up to see messages and emails and phone calls.

He sighs and shuts the phone off. 

He feels too tired.

He toes off his shoes, leaving them by his desk as he stumbles towards his bed, Bayleef nudging him when he stumbles off course.

Fatigue sets in as he crawls into bed without changing into pajamas. He drags the blanket over his shoulders, Torracat settles between his shoulder blades, Scraggy between his arms and Pikachu by his right hip.

He should probably eat before he sleeps, but he just feels so tired today.

He could make it up tomorrow.

Ash blearily peered at the warm sun shining cheerfully through the sunroof. His head ached, and he felt so tired.

And promptly rolled over, bundled into his blankets with a painful cough.

He squirmed until he was comfortable and then fell still. It was quiet, a sweet scent filled the air, it eased the painful ache of his head. Something was pressed to his head, a nose prodded his temple.

He grumbled and the nose vanished. There was a weight on his back, purring. It eased some of the aches he could feel in his body. He groaned when Pikachu prodded his cheek with an object until Ash turned to face him and stuck something in his mouth.

A paw pets his cheek, something, a claw? Runs through his hair and then there is a beep before the blankets are tugged higher.

It's quiet.

And really warm.

* * *

Kukui looked down at his cup of coffee, everyone was sitting at the table aside from Ash. That was still on the list, not to be woken up by anyone so they had to leave him be.

Even though Ash was usually the first one up.

Pikachu exited the room, walking on two paws as he made his way to Kukui carrying something. A thermometer?

Kukui accepted the thermometer and it read 103.2 Degrees farenheit.

"How long has Ash been sick?" Kukui asked in concern, Pikachu shook his head and scampered back to the room. Kukui made to follow but at Lillie and Gladion's looks he sat back down instead. Worry sat heavily in his chest as the rest of breakfast past in silence.

Burnet bites her lip, she glances over at Kukui who shakes his head in response.

Kukui could see how reluctant to leave everyone was, and then Gladion sighs and begins to push them out the door.

"I'll look after him." Kukui holds out his hand for Gladion's phone and double checks that he has everyone's number as well as the school's, the principal's and the hospital's.

"Take care Gladion, we'll be home soon. Call if you need anything." Gladion smiles shyly, a pleased flush on his cheeks.

* * *

"I'll look after him." Gladion said, as he clearly didn't have school to attend. Even as a teacher assistant until Kukui's arm and leg healed, Hau could fill in.

Kukui, Burnet and Lillie each were very reluctant to leave Ash be, but Gladion shoved them out of the house with pointed looks.

"Take care Gladion, we'll be home soon. Call if you need anything." Gladion feels content, these are normal things parents say to their kids when they leave them alone. Silly, to be reassured by something like this.

Gladion took a peek into Ash's room to see a cocoon swarmed by pokemon and then went looking through the cabinets for medicine.

He only found pain relievers, burn cream, muscle relaxers, and epsom salt. Nothing for coughing, sneezing or fever. So Gladion did what he always did when he stumbled across something he could not handle alone.

He went to the phone and dialed a number.

"The fuck ya want Kukui?! No, fuck that, how did you get this number???" Gladion suppressed a snort at the rough response. Maybe he should have used his cellphone.

"He went to work. Ash is sick, he needs medicine." There was a surprised noise followed by cursing.

"You stay away from him! Your immune system is shitty! I'll be right over." Guzma grumbled irritably under his breath before hanging up. Gladion set the phone back and grabbed some berries and tossed them in the blender to make a smoothie. He filled up a water bottle and brought it to Ash's room, set it on the desk and sat down on the chair.

He pulled one of Ash's journals onto his lap to read while he waited for Guzma. He was barely on the entry for Victini when he heard knocking on the door. He set the book down, looked down at Umbreon, and Pikachu before making his way to the door.

Anakala had a bag full of medicine and other things. He gave Gladion a once over then poked his head into Ash's room. Ash groggily peered at him and sighed, a whistling noise accompanied it as he began coughing.

"Yep. You keep your distance, no need for you to get sick too." Gladion crossed his arms over his chest, then peered at his dark blue hoody felt warm and comfy, maybe Ash needed more blankets? He grabbed a few spare blankets from the cupboard by Kukui's room and set them down outside the door.

"I mean it." Gladion huffed self consciously. It wasn't his fault he got sick so easily. He felt useless like this.

Unable to help.

"Get over here, we're making soup." Gladion followed him to the kitchen. By the time the soup was ready, Ash has already stepped out of his room and went through his morning routine.

It was only through the effort of Bayleef and Charizard that Ash returned to his room for a nap. Gladion was sitting down, reading through the rest of Ash's journal when Guzma served a bowl of soup and grabbed medicine to take to Ash.

Gladion watched from afar.

Keeping an eye on things.

He listened to Anakala prod Ash until there was a tired groan, then some tired mumbles. Anakala said something, and Mew came floating out of the room. Gladion peered in as Guzma went over the medicines he brought.

Ash straight rejects two and Guzma doesn't question it, instead he pockets them and then waits again for Ash to focus on the medicine.

He blearily picks one up, squints at it then passes it to Pikachu who squeaks something with a shake of his head then picks another one up with a nod. Ash trusts Pikachu as he struggles to open the medicine, Anakala opens it and pours a measured amount into a plastic cup.

Ash drinks it and makes a face, chugging water like his life depends on it.

A tray is set onto his lap, along with a box of tissues.

He prodded the soup with a finger, while Anakala sits at the end of the bed looking at his phone. Not pressuring Ash to eat. Gladion thinks, this is probably the only reason Ash eats.

He doesn't finish, but at least he ate breakfast. The only meal that was hit and miss for him. He was okay with lunch, and most always alright with dinner nowadays.

* * *

Guzma watches Ash curl up with his pokemon. He breathes in, counting to five then he breathes out slowly. This wasn't like Gladion.

Deep breaths. Just take it slow and keep counting.

Guzma checks on Gladion, he's sitting outside the door with a journal in his hands. He sets it down onto his lap and looks up at him, silent and inquisitive. 

"You stay out of the room from now on." He nods, reaching up and grasping onto Guzma's index and middle fingers.

"I'm okay." Guzma crouches down, Gladion lets go of his fingers and continues to stare, silent and unobtrusively present.

"I know, i know." He breathes, counting as he brushes back the sight of a smaller, younger Gladion in the ICU. 

He moves to sit beside his first brat, stares at the ceiling and shuts his eyes.

He breathes and counts. Gladion slumps over until his head rests on Guzma's shoulder. Guzma looks up at the ceiling and tries not to think about that frankly traumatic hospital visit. And all the smaller scares that popped up as a result.

Guzma peers at the book on his lap and sighs when he sees that it is hand written information about Victini, the Unovan mythical. Of course.

Guzma and Gladion pass the time in silence. Occasionally Guzma will get up to check the brat's temperature and make sure he drinks water before sitting beside Gladion.

"Have you told Lillie yet?" Gladion pauses, he shuts his book and shakes his head.

"No. I don't know when to tell her." Guzma thinks about Gladion's excitement over finding out that his father was alive, followed by the crushing realization that his father was gone and nowhere to be found.

"You don't have to tell her, but i know you don't like keeping secrets." Gladion fidgets with his sleeves, Guzma grabs hold of his hands and looks at the z ring on his wrist.

"Your sister is getting stronger and stronger. Why don't you give her the z ring your father left behind." Guzma remembers Lusamine had worn a z ring when she had taken him in. She had told him it belonged to her late husband, that she would stop wearing it in response to his views on them. Guzma remembers how she put it away and never spoke about her husband again.

Guzma almost feels as if it never happened. He feels like that about a lot of his time at Aether. 

Guzma freezes as he hears a whimper, Gladion is already on his feet with his hand on the door but he doesn't move. He holds out his arm to Guzma and crouches down before lowering his hand with a pained look on his face as they can now hear crying.

" _It isn't fair_." He whispers hugging his knees tightly. Guzma wraps his arm around him and ruffles his hair while waiting. He holds him back when they hear screaming.

 _ **"Be at peace, we will take care of his nightmares."**_ Guzma bristles at the intrusion but nods all the same when the screaming quiets as do the tears.

Guzma wonders what nightmares plague the god blessed brat enough that a god would reach out to comfort him. He wonders and then thinks, anyone that harms this kid should be six feet under.

Guzma reheats the soup and brings it into the room. Ash is in the corner of the room lying on his Lycanroc, surrounded by pokemon. Guzma freezes when he sees Tapu Koko. The god rises from the floor where it was sleeping beside Ash and is promptly slammed into the wall by the sleeping teen. Guzma doesn't move, Gladion peers over his shoulder, grabbing hold of Guzma's elbow.

The bowl of soup is floated over to Ash, his Charizard jostles him awake until he sleepily complies and then tells Pikachu to kick the god out of his room. Pikachu take an inordinate amount of pleasure in doing so.

The god is cowed into leaving by a mouse. Gladion pushes him forward when the god leaves, and a pokemon that looks like a larger version of Mew psychically closes the window behind it.

 _ **"Fear not, the pest will not return."**_ The pokemon looks knowingly at him, Ash looks confused as he accepts the soup. Absently lamenting about Brock's soup.

"Just eat and drink your medicine brat." He pouts like a small kid denied a toy. And okay, it should be illegal for this kid to still pull off that look.

"Alright, alright! Stop with the look!" He does, Gladion snickers behind him.

"Ugh. Several hundred years ago on Ula'Ula island, there was a ghost type pokemon called Gengar." 

Guzma stops before the end when he sees that the brat had fallen asleep. He looks over at the desk for the thermometer, the Pikachu grabs it and sticks it in the brat's mouth. He passes it to Guzma to see the fever had not changed.

"You need to open the window. Gladion get cold water, bring some ice packs if there are any, if not frozen vegetables." Gladion leaves the room while Guzma searches the drawers for thinner clothes.

He finds a tank top and sleep shorts, the pokemon don't fight him when he strips the kid and puts on new clothes. They move back into place, the clothes are taken from him and put in a hamper on the other side of the room.

"Where do i put it?" Guzma sighs and gestures to the desk before waving his hand for Gladion to leave the room. He takes a cloth from the desk and dips it into the water, wiping the sweat iff the kid's face.

"You know what to do with the ice packs right?" Pikachu nods and sets one under the kid's armpit while Guzma puts one on the other side.

"When you aren't sick anymore, you and i will be having words about the importance of health." Guzma wanted to also talk about the importance of not pissing off gods but then again, if this pint sized brat could still pulverize a god while sick _and_ asleep, well, he would be fine.

Guzma rewet the cloth and set it on Ash's forehead with a sigh. He doesn't pretend to understand everything about aura, no one could, but he does know that something is happening with this kid.

"Is it the ultra beasts?" The larger Mew like pokemon says nothing, he looks pensive.

_**We will keep an eye on him, but as of now, we are unaware what is happening to him.** _

It is not very reassuring that a god doesn't have all the answers but it reaffirms Guzma's belief that the gods really were just really powerful pokemon.

Guzma knows that the longer he stays, the closer he is to seeing Kukui. Gladion sits down with his back to the front door as he meditates. Guzma appreciates the sentiment, but he should be leaving. And yet, he looks at the cheek smooshed into his shoulder and sighs while lamenting the sad pathetic look that should really be illegal.

Pikachu climbs onto his shoulder, nosing the kid's forehead before scampering over to grab the thermometer. Guzma feels relief when it reads as 100. Degrees farenheit, it was still high but it was finally going down.

"You get two hours, then i ditch you." He mumbles something and Guzma takes that as an agreement. "Glad we had this talk." He says wrapping his arm around the kid's shoulders as he leaned into the Charizard behind him.

Guzma closes his eyes and sighs softly to himself.

His talk with Nanu about what happened at Aether had been hard. A lot harder than talking about Tapu Koko. He'd been hurt by Faba, used and discarded after everything. 

Even so, those few precious moments of kindness had meant the world to him.

Burnet's attempts to badger his name out of him.

Faba's strict instructions and proud smile when Guzma completed his work.

Wicke's attempts to get him to socialize and helping him hide when he didn't want to.

Lusamine proudly showing him around Aether, her arm resting on his shoulders as she asked what he was studying next.

Take the good with the bad, don't let the bad taint it all.

Guzma lays on the roof and listens to the sound of singing and cooking. Pikachu scampers onto the roof and looks at him before smiling and leaving the roof.

He's gone soft.

He'll be gone by night fall though. He really did not want to fall asleep at Kukui's house when he had his own home to sleep in.


	26. We Did Everything Right And Now I'm Asking, Where Do We Go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: where do we go? Lindsey Sterling ft. Carah Faye

Kukui sighs when he realizes that it's time for the school play. He looks over the various school plays that had been done and wonders which one to pick from.

Ash and Kiawe battle outside while the other kids cheer. His fever had broken without any complications and had slept the day away according to Gladion. Apparently its normal for him to recover within a day. Kukui has no idea what he meant about no one stealing his identity this time.

Gladion sits at the edge of Kukui's desk and flips through some of the play books.

"This one looks interesting." Gladion says as he passes him a booklet with the story about a savior of alola that saved the islands from famine by seeking the help of the sun god Solgaleo.

"This one looks good." He smiles, Gladion slides off the desk and sets about writing the lesson plans on the chalkboard while Kukui organizes his desk.

"Alright! This time I'm up against Marowak!" Kukui winces at the sound that follows. He's being pushed to the balcony before he can ask, good thing his chair was one with wheels. He and Gladion peer over the rails and watch Ash battle Marowak while Pikachu calls out commands.

"It's still a bit worrying to watch Ash battle pokemon let alone gods..." Gladion nods as he leans on the rails and watches Ash backflip over Marowak's iron head and then slam the heel of his foot over the fire types back.

"Don't worry Kiawe, I can take it!" Ash laughs, and it worries Kukui. He knows Ash could probably take pokemon attacks, but it was scary to watch.

"Marowak flare blitz!" Kukui had not expected Kiawe to reciprocate that fast, Ash grins, something in that smile feels wild. He crosses his arms in front of him and vanishes into the fire, and then emerges and punches Marowak into a crater.

"Ah..." it's silent and Ash apologizes profusely as he tugs the fire type out. Kukui is reaching for his notepad when Ash looks up, he waves, Ash waves back and then the bell rings.

"Well, time to get ready for class." Gladion pushes him back to his desk and goes back to writing the lesson plan. The kids file in, Lillie fussing over Ash who is squirming and complaining. 

"Then sit still!" She commands sternly and he freezes with a pout. She looks over his arms, muttering under her breath before she drops his arm and digs in her bag.

"It's fine." Gladion is laughing into his sleeves, Kukui grins as Lillie is rubbing ointment onto his arms and sticking plaster over what was probably the worst of his injuries.

Pikachu and Mew are laughing at him when he sits at his desk. Kukui struggles to keep a straight face as do most of his students.

"Right. Class." Bayleef is lecturing Ash who has his arms crossed over his chest like a child being scolded for doing something stupid. "We'll be having our class play in about a month." Ash stares at him blankly, Gladion had as well when they had first come in but he had learned quickly.

Ash quickly grew excited.

"Wait... um... it's only the students that can do the play?" Kukui looked at his exasperated Pikachu and wonders what he missed.

"Generally it is, but since this class is so small i was thinking Gladion and Hau could possibly fill in some roles when they weren't being stage hands." Ash doesn't say anything after that but he does look distracted for the rest of the lesson.

At lunch his students usually moved their desks closer to one another to eat. But lately they've been moving them into a circle.

Ash is laughing as his pokemon play with the other pokemon. Then Ash leans closer to Kiawe and asks him if they can battle again sometime. His hand clenches but he doesn't move away. Kukui smiles at that.

Ash very clearly wants to head into town, but he doesn't say anything and instead sticks close to them as they head home. Though Pikachu does leave and Ash doesn't seem to mind and instead reaches out to grab Kukui's hand. His hand still shakes and he doesn't hold on for long, but Kukui is glad that Ash can reach out to him again.

It was as they were nearing the house that they heard a vehicle behind them. Ash is walking backwards, he waves his arms and then a honey bagel is thrown at his face.

"You have a phone now twerp!" The woman shouts from the passenger seat.

"Yeah! We gave you our number!" The man shouts from out the window on the driver side.

"Oh yeah." He laughs, Gladion and Lillie share a look behind him while Kukui sighs to himself.

"Of course you forgot it." Kukui is helped down, Gladion acting as a crutch to help him inside. The workers exit their truck and follow in after him.

"Alright, the twerp mentioned a play." Kukui looks over at Ash who is digging through his backpack and hands the woman a script. He doesn't seem to mind being close to them, though he does shy back when they move. They speak in rapid Kantonese, Kukui catches a few words before the conversation has ended and the woman has changed...

"Who are you?" Kukui double takes at Ash's blank expression when facing the woman.

"I am Jessa-Bergère." Ash takes a single step back, Pikachu stares and stares.

"How did she do that?" Lillie asks, Kukui and Gladion look at her.

"When Jessie gets into a role, she commits to the role. It's how we fooled the twerp for so long." Ash makes a noise of acknowledgement but stays beside the man while keeping his eyes on Jessa-Bergère.

Kukui watches the man and Meowth walk off with Ash while he is stuck listening to Jessa-Bergère speak about the play as if it were some type of big stage play. She and Rotom bounce ideas off one another and take apart the script.

Here he was hoping for a simple night.

They end up staying for dinner, Gladion and Burnet cooking while Ash sits beside Jessa-Bergère, or rather Jessie?

"James tells me that you were doing that thing again." Ash shrugs but stretches out a hand and pokes her without flinching back. The woman rests her elbow on the table and rests her cheek on the back of her palm. She reaches out and rests her palm on his cheek, no hesitation. Ash freezes, staring at her wide eyed.

Kukui glances at Pikachu but the mouse is talking quietly with Meowth. He glances back and Ash blinks, relaxing and looking at her with a curious look.

"Does that mean we have a truce?" She nods and turns away as plates are served.

"Just until the play is over, don't expect any favors twerp!" The man says as he pulls Ash's hat off and ruffles his hair, again, no hesitation in his actions. "And haven't i told you before, gentlemen always remove their hats at the table!" He mutters something about manners and somehow... looks as if he is dining in a five star restaurant.

Kukui leaves it be and goes back to dinner. But the more that he pays attention to the man, the more he sees how similar he eats to Lillie and a lesser extent, Gladion.

Ash abruptly meets his eyes and shakes his head. Kukui doesn't know what Ash is warning him off of but he stops and goes back to eating dinner.

"Bye Jessie, James, Meowth, Wobbuffet." He gets a bag thrown at his head as they drive off. Ash laughs and passes out Malasadas to everyone, giving Mew and Mewtwo the last two.

"Ash, why don't you go check your phone." Ash nods and heads off to his room where he promptly groans and throws the phone out of the room.

"I don't want it!" He shouts, but Pikachu quick attacked to catch the phone and began to loudly berate him. "Phones are evil!" Mew giggles and floats into the room. 

"It's to be expected. He really didn't want a phone." Gladion says as he reclines on the couch with an old poke geographics magazine. He sighs and sets it aside before climbing to his feet and pulling his hood up.

"I'll be home in a few hours. I have to retrieve something." He looked serious, Kukui wonders what it is about today that seems to bring about strange behaviour in his kids. He glances over at Lillie who is slowly texting someone. 

He thinks its kind of sad that the three of them had missed out on the ease of technology.

He wonders when Lana will start teaching them about memes.

He gives until to next week.

* * *

For Gladion, breaking into his old home is much easier than breaking into Aether. Though it is far more emptier. Colder, even with the people and Hobbes dwelling within.

Gladion makes his way to father's study, Umbreon at his side while they use the shadows to their advantage. It almost feels wrong to sneak around but he pushes it aside and focuses on his quest.

He swallows as he looks at the door, he opens it and waits for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, Umbreon coos softly to lead him. He pulls out his phone and uses the dim light of the screen to search father's office. He pauses as light reflect back at it, he moves closer and finds a framed photo. His phone slips out of his hands as he see father's face for the first time in twelve years.

He exhales shakily, hand trembling as he lays a hand on the frame.

"I'm home father." He whispers, father smiles up at him, mother beams up at him from beside her. He lifts up the frame and hugs it to his chest, he slowly crouches down and presses a hand over his mouth.

Gladion rubs his face and feels along the floor for his phone. His fingers bump into the thin rectangular device, he winces when he double taps the screen and sees a crack in the middle of it. Good thing it was just a screen protector. Umbreon coos softly and rubs her forehead against his palm.

"I'm okay, i just..." Umbreon stares up at him knowingly. He rises to his feet and searches the desk, opening a drawer and finding father's journal as well as his z ring. He takes both and makes his way out of the study.

Gladion is walking through the forest when he feels that he is being followed.

"Silvally!" Gladion presses his back to Silvally's flank, Umbreon has jumped onto his shoulder and watches behind him while Silvally watches their front. 

"Silvally air slash! Umbreon dark pulse!" Gladion shouts when a Fomantis jumps down before him. The attacks are dodged, Gladion reaches for his normal type z crystal when the Fomantis abruptly glows and changes form.

"Zoroark?" The air shimmers, then the scenery changes before his eyes.

Gladion had forgotten the sound of father's voice, and Lillie never would remember father's voice as it was so far back in her memories. Gladion gazed up at his father, he only reached chest height.

Zoroark looks at him, sorrow and longing in her eyes. Gladion reaches out, she rests her head in his palm, he leans forward to rest his forehead against hers.

"I've missed you both so much." Zoroark wipes a tear from his face. "Will you come with me? I have something to give to Lillie." Zoroark looks to the book and photo frame he is hugging to his chest. She nods and follows after him.

Gladion peers at the single light left on and smiles. Zoroark looks curiously at him, he holds out his hand.

"Lillie and i have been taken in by a new family. It's different, but it's warm. And Anakala and the others live separately from me but they are family too." Zoroark smiles at him and follows behind when he walks up the steps.

Kukui is asleep on the couch, Ash's door slips open as he glances over at him.

"Hey." Gladion checks on the loft and sees that Lillie is asleep, he makes his way to Ash's room. Ash is sitting on his bed, Tapu Fini and Tapu Lele are in his room asleep.

"Not sleepy?" Ash shakes his head, his phone is on his desk lighting up with notifications. He pouts at it briefly before laying down on his stomach and petting Lycanroc.

"Want me to keep you company?" Ash looks up at him with furrowed brows.

"It's fine. There's just a few ultra wormholes popping up here and there." He looks faintly irritated as his eyes flicker over to the window. Gladion releases his pokemon from their pokeball and sits down on the floor beside Ash's bed. Zoroark is watching Ash, Ash pays her no mind, he looks distracted.

Gladion looks at the photo frame he had taken from father's study. They looked so happy back then.

"Can i touch you?" Gladion looks over his shoulder, Ash is petting Mew and watching him. Gladion holds out his hand, Ash reaches over and grabs hold of it.

"What are you feeling?" Gladion smiles.

"Happiness, sadness, and a little bit of something in between." Ash nods, but doesn't question why he's feeling the way he is. It's something that he's come to appreciate. Ash isn't intrusive, he's a steady presence and so very kind for all the bad that he's gone through.

Though that might be just why he was kind. Because he's seen cruelty and has chosen to not spread that around.

"Want me to be here when you talk to Lillie?" Gladion thinks about it. He and Lillie have shared everything, as had Ash. There wasn't anything he wanted to keep secret, but maybe Lillie should hear it first.

"I need to tell her something first, but you can come in after that." Ash nods and slips out the window just as footsteps are heard outside his room. Gladion takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out as Zoroark shifts into an Umbreon.

"Brother?" Gladion waves her over, she sits down beside him hugging Snowy as he angles the photo frame for her to see.

"Is this, is this father?" She asks as she takes the photo from him. Gladion swallows the lump in his throat.

"I'm sure you know of my search for Tapu Fini." Lillie instantly knows what he is talking about when she looks back at the photo.

"He's alive." She whispers, Mew and Ash teleport into the room and he settles back on Lycanroc as if he had never left. 

"Yeah, he's alive." Gladion wonders where Father is and why he had not returned. He wonders if he was just as traumatized from the ultra beasts as Lillie and Guzma and found himself unable to return. He wonders if its like Ash and his fear of Kalos.

"You'll meet again." Ash says with certainty, and Lillie and him don't refute him. They did come together again after several years apart. 

"What was he like?" Gladion looks over to Zoroark, she nods and reveals her form.

"This is father's trusted partner, Zoroark." Lillie stands up and meets Zoroark, Zoroark smiles at her before the ground shimmers beneath them.

_"How's my little princess?" Lillie giggles brightly in Gladion's arms. His hand rests lightly on Gladion's shoulder as he presses a kiss to Lillie's head._

_"You look after your little sister Gladio." Gladion nods, hair flopping over his face._

_"Mohn!" He jumps, laughing nervously._

_"My dearest Lusamine." He is interrupted._

_"Don't you 'My dearest' me. You really need to stop just wandering off with the kids in tow." She pouts, but easily folds as she's enveloped in a hig and kisses rain down on her._

_"You are right my dearest. How could i ever forget my beautiful wife." She's laughing, Gladion and Lillie laugh too._

Lillie is in tears as she reaches out just as the illusion fades. Her lips quiver as she takes in a breath but firms when she exhales and wipes her eyes.

"Father is somewhere out there." She tells him, he nods and digs into his pocket and holds up his z ring.

"I know you don't have a z crystal, and i don't know if you plan and taking any grand trials, but i think he would have wanted you to have this." Lillie looks at it and tentatively grabs hold of it. Ash watches them, he grins when he notices them looking at him.

"The both of you are very strong." Lillie beams at him and clenches her fist.

"I don't know when i will be ready or if i will ever be ready for a grand trial, but i know that Snowy and i will get so much stronger!" 

The next morning Lillie is training hard with Ash when Zoroark gives him a pokeball. 

"Thank you." He tells her, she nods and he introduces her to her new teammates.

Gladion looks back towards them when it gets noticeable colder. Ash is wrapped up in Charizard's arms as a blizzard is unleashed.

"That was blizzard!" Ash shouts excitedly from where he is, Bayleef shakes her self off and looks towards Ash who is asking after her.

"You're so amazing Snowy!" Lillie cheers, Gladion smiles.

She was getting stronger and stronger with each day that passed. He thinks that father would be proud of them, but pushes that thought aside. He will not fall into the same trap that he had with mother.

Besides.

"Wow! That was amazing Lillie! Snowy!" Burnet and Kukui call out from the porch.

They had parents to be proud of them now.

* * *

Kukui watches the kids take their tests, Gladion watches them sympathetically when he isn't looking over the school play that Rotom had rewritten. The school bell begins ringing repeatedly, Kukui peers over at Ash who looks completely confused.

"I got this, go back to your tests, I'll let you know what she says." Gladion says as he lifts up the chalk baord and presses his hand onto the sensor before pulling it down and making his way to the elevator.

Kukui remembers Gladion telling Lillie and Ash that they weren't allowed to skip school or go out at night, and that he would take over for them. He even helplfully pointed out if he went out at night he would take the day off. Kukui is actually upset that he hadn't thought of that, and that Lusamine actually expected the children to be ready all hours of the day for this.

Gladion comes back up a few minutes later with a faint look of irritation.

"It's nothing important, I'll take care of it." He takes out his phone and texts someone before he slips out of class. Ash's Charizard follows him once he is outside, Ash doesn't seem to mind aside from telling Charizard to be careful.

Gladion comes home an hour after dinner. He looks contemplative, not in a bad way. Just, very thoughtful as he sat down to eat.

"Hau is going to drop by the class tomorrow to look at the base." He says after a moment. Kukui nods and that is the end of the conversation as far as he is concerned. Burnet had already let him know why Lusamine had called an alert.

The ultra wormhole tracking software was a bit redundant when they had someone who could _feel_ them. But he can understand the value of checking out what disrupted the system in the first place.

Kukui looks up when Ash sits down next to him, Ash looks up at him and then rests his head on Kukui's shoulder. Kukui lets him be and focuses on reading through some academic articles. It takes a minute and a half before Ash relaxes against him, Kukui can feel his relief in the small sigh he lets out.

"There's an ultra wormhole that's still open right now." Kukui glances at him but Ash doesn't say anything more and then his cellphone rings. Ash grabs it for him, it's Lusamine.

"Hello?" Kukui pauses to listen as Wicke tells him about an ultra beast appearing in town, another Buzzwole.

"I'll go see if it's as understanding as the last one and call for backup if its not." Ash nods over to Charizard who huffs but urges Gladion to climb onto his back.

Ash waves them off and hugs Scraggy tightly.

"Do you think it's wrong that I'm sitting back while other people go out into danger?" Ash asks, Kukui makes to respond but Ash brings his knees to his chest. "Even when i have that legacy..." Kukui wraps his good arm around Ash, he twitches and takes a slow deliberate breath before relaxing against him.

"I think you're doing the right thing by sitting out regardless of the legacy you carry." Kukui waits for Ash to look at him before continuing. "You might have this weight on your back, but you aren't alone and you have plenty of friends and family that help carry this legacy of yours. You can't exactly help when you need help right?" Ash nods slowly.

"You need to help you before you can help anyone else. And right now, you are doing the best you can." Ash sighs and looks down at his knees.

"I never wanted it. _He_ used that against me..." Kukui doesn't say anything, he was curious but Ash's recovery was always going to be much more important than any knowledge he could get. Especially if getting answers only hurt Ash more.

His phone vibrates, he looks at it and there's a text from Gladion. _Surrendered and captured. On my way home._

"Well at least we know that Buzzwole are generally peaceful." Ash nods but doesn't say anything more, Kukui decides to speak with Gladion and Lillie about this later. Maybe they could help reassure him that it was okay to take the back seat and let others take charge.

Ash did not sleep at all. He was sitting at the table when Kukui knocked out, and he was still sitting at the table when Kukui jerked awake a few hours later. He was still awake when Gladion and Lillie came downstairs after having nightmares. And he was still awake when Kukui woke up to Burnet leaving for work.

"Ash?" Ash looks at him and shrugs halfhearted smile on his face as if he didn't know what expression to make. Pikachu shot him a warning look, Kukui wisely remained silent and limped to the bathroom.

By the time he got back, Gladion was playing music as he, Ash and Lillie prepared breakfast.

"The bread festival is today, we were going to go, did you want to come along?" Lillie asks, Kukui thinks about attending with them but realizes it would be harder with his leg and arm messed up.

"It's fine, you kids go enjoy it." He could spend some time with his pokemon in the mean time. He waves the kids off after breakfast and calls out all his pokemon once he's sure they were gone.

Ivysaur, Empoleon, Ninetails, Braviary, Incenroar, and Lucario all stretch out on the beach. Kukui sits down on the chair on the porch and proceeds to catch up with his pokemon.

Incenroar takes the news that he is dating again with outrage that calms when he says he is back with Burnet. Then proceeds in trying to break Kukui's ribs as his chest rumbles with purrs.

"Okay, Cinny!" Kukui squeaked, Incenroar released and licked his forehead with a pleased look. Lucario simply stared at him, Kukui winced.

"Yeah... so Ash is an aura adept and Lillie has aura potential..." Lucario's stare said it all. "I'll see about introducing you to them... just, i think Ash needs more time." Lucario nods his head once and sits down to meditate.

Ivysaur is soaking up sun while Empoleon and Ninetails relax in the shade.

It's been quite awhile since he called out his team, he felt more than a little guilty. 

Kukui sighs to himself as the mailman climbs up to his porch and passes him the mail. He accepts the mail and sees a letter with a scratched out return address and knows that it is from Kalos. He looks through the rest of the mail and finds one that he had been waiting on for quiet awhile.

He tears the envelope open and a plastic bag with foam slides out of it. He looks at the ring polished to perfection in it and smiles to himself.

"Roar!!" Kukui sighs and is scooped out of his chair, happy rumbling in his ears as he is swung from side to side.

Kukui laughs as the others gather around and thinks to himself about the pokeball that had once housed an Oshawatt. It would make the perfect case.

Ash and Lillie instantly pick up on his good mood as they get ready for the firework festival. Gladion stares at him, unblinking before he smirks. He looks Kukui right in the eyes as he raises his phone and takes a picture of him.

_I wanna lay in your arms when the world is burning_  
_I wanna dig in your heart, take away your hurting_

Kukui buries his face in his hand, Gladion starts laughing, Lillie squeals and rams into his side. Ash just stands at the door and smiles in confusion.

"When are you going to propose?" She demands, then holds out her hand insistently while Ash makes his way over with a wide grin and a sparkles in his eyes.

It's a simple silver band, but Lillie squeals louder, flushing a bright shade of red. Gladion is laughing so hard he vanishes into his hoodie.

"I don't know yet, just keep it a secret from Burnet." They all agree easily, even Gladion. Who wiggles his fingers with a small 'toodles' as they leave for the fireworks festival. Kukui and Burnet would be heading over later, which gave him some time to work on making the pokeball a perfect case.

And it gives him time to silently scream as he realizes that yes. He was going to propose. And yes the kids were all on board with it.

And Gladion was going to be _insufferable_ again.

"Everything alright Kukui?" Burnet asks as Kukui nonchalantly types away on his laptop.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Ready to go?" She chuckles and deposits her things in the room before coming back to help him limp to the car.

"The kids were really excited earlier." About the ring. "I bet they will be really excited to see the both of us too." Because they know.

"I can't wait." Burnet grins and Kukui can't help but fall in love with her a little more.

* * *

Ash was able to touch Lillie, Gladion and Kukui. He still backed away from her, and always looked apologetic and frustrated. Burnet wonders if its because he hadn't been able to touch her before.

She also wonders if its because she works for Aether and he's afraid of her. She hopes that that is not the reason.

"Fireworks are so amazing!" Ash exclaims brightly from where he sits on the railing. Burnet almost wants to ask him to get off, but seeing that everyone is giving the railing wide birth, she cant. He feels safe there where people can't reach out to him.

"The finale should be coming up." Kiawe says holding the program up to read.

Burnet notices Ash's posture change but pays it no mind when he says nothing, and then the fireworks stop.

Then Charizard growls low in his throat, crouching down even as Ash raises his hand and pokes the fire type in the neck until he no longer growls.

The fireworks start again.

Kiawe complains about the program, she can hear the crowd coming back and exclaiming, but Ash does not look at the fireworks. He looks out to the sea. She nudges Kukui and together they walk closer to the rail and see a man out on a rock. Or rather, what looked like a man.

Then, the man is in front of Ash holding the ball that was where his/its head should have been. Ash keeps his finger on Charizard's neck, but he holds out his other hand and buries it in Lycanroc's fur.

Burnet glances at the ball just as it explodes. Her heart stops and she leaves Kukui's side as she reaches out to Ash who had been the closest to the explosion. But the smoke clears and he is unharmed in Charizard's arms.

The next five minutes pass in a blur as Ash watches the man/being without blinking. He is silent, doesn't complain or warn them about danger. His eyes flicker away from the being once, then return to watching and waiting. There is another heart stopping explosion and then the being skips off into the distance.

"That was an ultra beast wasn't it?" Lillie asks, Ash nods and Charizard refuses to let him down. Lana looks thoughtful as she stares out into the ocean.

"It wasn't harmful though, that's why you didn't say anything." Ash hums but doesn't answer, Pikachu stares hard into the distance before he pointedly settles down between Charizard's horns.

"You looked away though." Gladion points out, looking around as he pulls out his phone.

"It looks like two ultra wormholes opened for at least a minute within ten minutes of each other." 

"I'll check it out and see if i find anything." Gladion says as he calls out Silvally and hops on. Burnet watches him ride off and feels that it is wrong to expect these kids to take on the hard responsibility of wrangling ultra beasts. They shouldn't have to do this, even if they were beacons.

It's a silent drive back, even with Charizard keeping pace with the car, at least it was until she can suddenly hear music behind her.

_I wanna lay in your arms when the world is burning_  
_I wanna dig in your heart, take away your hurting_  
_Kiss me and tell me I'm fine and forget we're dying_

Kukui starts coughing violently, Lillie giggles and Ash has completely disappeared from view but she is sure that he is laughing.

Kukui groans when he has stopped coughing. He mutters something under his breath while the song keeps playing.

Burnet laughs, and that is that.

Gladion comes home after an hour saying he couldn't find any ultra beasts and that Type Null was out looking with Anakala. Lillie and Ash nod as if they know Anakala and trust him, but looking over at Kukui, he doesn't seem to know who that is.

"Who is Anakala?" Ash answers and she finds that it was basically a nonanswer.

"Anakala is Anakala and he was Gladion's Anakala first. He's like Kukui-hakase safe and his pokemon give really good hugs! Ah, but Mew likes him too and won't stop messing around with him." Lillie and Gladion agree and as far as the kids are concerned, it perfectly describes him.

Which it just might and they won't know until they meet him. But Burnet thinks it might be okay to wait, the kids are all still trying to piece themselves together.

Ash sits next to her, Munchlax takes up the space between them, and then he sets his journal down and begins drawing the ultra beast from the fireworks festival.

"I usually let Sam know when I've met strange new pokemon, but I've been waiting to tell him about the ultra beasts." Burnet realizes that they need to tell the regional Professors.

"Mama has already seen that one ultra beasts but there might be new ones that pop up in Kanto. And Gary lives in Sinnoh most of the year." Burnet nods thoughtfully.

"Might i be able to take a look at the entries you've made?" Ash nods but continues his sketch and she smiles.

"It scared us on purpose, it felt like it was draining the excess aura in the air around us, but not personally from us." He frowns and slides his journal over to her.

She sees Lunala, Solgaleo, Nebby and the forms Nebby had. There is Nihilego, Buzzwole and this new ultra beast.

"I think, once we've collected more data we would be able to present our findings to the regional Professors, but we need more data." Ash nods in understanding.

Gladion is staring at his phone when she makes her way to the kitchen for breakfast. He fidgets with it and gives a frustrated little sigh before setting it down and shoving it aside.

"Morning Gladion, Ash." Gladion waves but doesn't look up. Ash sits across from him poking at his breakfast and steadfastly ignoring his phone as it vibrates.

"Something wrong?" Gladion slides the phone over to her and she sees Instagram. He has several followers, and one picture on his Instagram.

"Social media troubles?" She asks him, he crosses his arms on the table and buries his face in them in silence. She giggles to herself as she looks at the picture that had no tags of any kind. No filters, but beautifully taken.

"I could show you." She volunteers, he sighs and mumbles later, when she looks to Ash, he shakes his head.

"Nope. I let Dawn take care of all of that. And Bonnie and Serena too." She grins at his grumpy attitude.

"Don't you want to take any pictures?" Ash looks up from his glass of milk and shakes his head.

"Nah. Brock usually took all the pictures, and i usually get a few delivered home from the league. I only really take pictures for Sam when he sends me out in the field for research." He waves his hand as if he can't be bothered. It does suit him though. He doesn't seem the type to take photos, more like a live in the moment type of guy.

"Mm. Well then let me know when you want to learn about social media. I'll see you two when i get home later." They wave her off just as Lillie exits the bathroom. Burnet helps Munchlax into the car and makes her way to the port for Hobbes to pick her up.

Arriving to Aether does not bring her joy as it once had. It makes her skin crawl.

She wonders now, if she would have always been blinded by Aether if Kukui had not come back into her life with his kids. If Ash had not been so traumatized and afraid of people.

She could still see the way he would blank out when Lusamine would grab hold of him. His protests dying as if he knew no one would listen, and that hurt when he reacted to her in that way.

"Munch?" Burnet looks over at Munchlax when he rests his paws on her hand. He smiles and she smiles back.

"Thanks Munchy." Burnet watches Aether paradise come into view and thinks about Lusamine still working from her hospital bed even though she and Wicke have split up responsibilities to take over for Faba and Lusamine's absence.

"Everything okay Burnet?" Burnet looks at Wicke and wonders how she can still have so much faith in Lusamine.

"Yeah, i just..." she looks at the ultra beast profiles that Wicke was building. "The Ultra Guardians are just a bunch of kids." Wicke grabs hold of her hand and squeezes it with a look of guilt and remorse.

"Interpol has taken all of our Ultra Rangers into their covert teams. I know that it is hard, i can't bear the thought of Gladion or Lillie being hurt, but if they don't go out to combat the ultra beasts..." Wicke looks down, she removes her glasses to wipe away tears.

"If they don't combat the ultra beasts, then the ultra beasts will combat them and they won't be ready for it." Burnet can see how much it pains Wicke to send children out to fight and wonders if Lusamine had the same feelings as they did.

"We have work to do." Burnet says drying her eyes, Wicke looks at her as she dries her eyes.

"There were two ultra beasts yesterday. Type Null is looking for them, and seeing that we haven't had any reports we can assume for now that they are not dangerous." Wicke nods and begins to track the ultra aura while Burnet bends the truth when Lusamine calls after seeing the activity on her laptop.

"You lied..." Wicke looks stunned, Burnet's heart pounds in her chest as the weight of her lie presses down on her.

"They're just kids... they shouldn't have to miss school and sleep. I..." her hands are shaking, Wicke grabs hold of her hands.

"We weren't always truthful to you Burnet, for that i apologize. I won't make that mistakes with Lillie and Gladion." She nods once and Burnet can feel some of that weight ease of her shoulders.

"Now let's track those ultra beasts!" She grins as she clenches her fists and for some reason Burnet thinks about the time she had studied for some tests and some one had told her she had it covered. She shakes her head but returns the gesture and gets to work.

* * *

Guzma takes one look at where Gula is heading and calls Officer Jenny to shut down the power plant. Plumeria looks up from where she is sitting on her Gengar and nods to him as she texts Hau, Gladion and Tupp, Zipp and Rapp as they most always haunt Mele Mele.

"This isn't the ultra beast that Gladion said the brat sketched." He takes a picture of it and sends it to Gladion, he texts back instantly that he was on his way with Hau. Guzma calls out his pokemon, Plumeria call out all of her pokemon and stood beside him with a worried frown.

"We're in this together." He feels a little more at ease having someone on his side.

"Alright there Gula?" The chimera snorts but doesn't look ready to attack which is a good sign. That meant the ultra beast didn't have bad intentions, never mind the fact that it was draining power from the city.

"Stay here." Plumeria grabs his arm, he looks back at her.

"You're not leaving me behind, if you try then I'm just gonna have to kick your ass." Guzma nods, she lets go and he and Gula walk towards the ultra beast.

"HEY!!" He shouts, the ultra beast doesn't react, Gula fires a hyperbeam at it and waits.

It stops trying to take electricity and stares down at him.

"GOT A MINUTE TO TALK?!" It jumps, landing with a crash on the floor, it was big. Gula presses closer to him but doesn't really react.

"You're not in ultra space anymore, and you're taking electricity that we need." He states without much fanfare. The ultra beast leans closer and it is only the fact that Gula has not shifted in the slightest that keeps him from flinching.

It sways in place then points back to the tower.

"For the love of-" Guzma face palms, Gula snorts and changes to an electric type when Guzma slips him the memory disc.

"Thunder bolt." _That_ catches the ultra beasts attention. It leans back towards them, scratching at its head before it sparks.

"I can't let you take that power, people need it." He says flatly, arms crossed over his chest. Something flies past him and taps the ultra beast before it vanishes in a blue and red blur of light.

Gladion is sliding off his ride pokemom and tackling Guzma.

"I didn't know you were this _stupid."_ Guzma would complain, but yeah it was stupid. They didn't even have beast balls yet.

"Gula's a lot more temperamental than Silvally, he would've torn the ultra beast to shreds." Gladion stubbornly clings to him in response. Guzma ruffles his hair and holds him until he stops shaking.

"I'll be less stupid next time." A hand punches his shoulder roughly.

"You better." Plumeria glares at him, her expression softening as she rests her hand on the back of Gladion's head.

And then there are fireworks.

"We need to stay back. This one drains excess aura in the air." Guzma nods, he can see Hau standing beside Tupp, Rapp and Zipp.

Guzma swipes a hand across his forehead and glances over at Gladion and his Zoroark. He worried over the illusionist as the ultra beast once more tossed it's head in their general direction despite the illusion of a crowd around them.

"Golisopod Liquidation! Scizor Bullet punch!" Guzma didn't even have to ask Gula to fight.

"Gengar dazzling gleam! Muk venoshock!" Plumeria was standing in front of Tupp, Zipp and Rapp as they each ordered their pokemon to fight.

"Raichu focus blast! Decidueye spirit shackle! Crabrawler focus punch!" It was proving tough to even hit the ultra beast and now they were screwed.

Another ultra wormhole had opened up and a second sparkling electric pole popped out.

"Fuck." Plumeria echoes him and then there is fire raining from the sky. Guzma idly wondered, even as he ran towards Gladion and Hau and hauled them over his shoulders, what the pokemon of a traumatized aura guardian would do in order to protect their charge.

He hears metal warp behind him. It creaks and groans and then it shrieks as it crashes to the ground along with an ultra beast.

Charizard bellows its challenge for all to hear.

"Looks like class let out early." Gladion says once he's set down. Guzma checks his watch and see that it was an hour and a half earlier than class was supposed to let out.

"Alright then, Zipp, Tupp, Rapp, head home." They recall their pokemom with shaky expressions. Plumeria gives them all shoulder pats and pushes them to head off.

They are not that far away, but it's a good enough distance that Guzma feels safe in turning his back towards them.

They are no longer fighting two separate battles. They ultra beasts are somehow entertaining one another.

He can see Ash and Lillie along with the other students and Guzma is going to punch Kukui.

"And who are you two supposed to be?" The flame brat asks as he lands, Ash and Lillie are suddenly in front of him with worried frowns.

"I'm fine and you two are supposed to be in school." Lillie frowns, and nods while Ash shrugs as if he didn't care.

_Brat._

"Burnet-hakase said that these two ultra beasts might open up more ultra wormholes if left alone to long." Guzma can see that, it had after called another ultra beast.

"Ash, Lillie, you know this man?" Ash looks at him and then smiles.

"He's nice!" And the kids stop staring at him as if he were some shady character. _Huh._

"Well, at any rate, it looks like they are competing with one another." Guzma looks at the two ultra beasts and wonders what they are thinking.

"It kinda looks like they..." Ash starts with a confused look.

"Are boosting each other up and draining each other." Lillie continues with wonder. Guzma wonders what it looks like to them, with their ability to see and sense aura.

"We need to distract them from their competition and i know the perfect way!" Ash laughs as he clenches his fist and holds it out towards the ultra beasts.

"We make this a contest, not just any contest. A pokemon contest!" Guzma can see the merit in his idea.

And then the damn brat proceeds to organize and stage the whole thing with several pokemon working in tandem as if he did it every day.

"The new and improved Pikachu show!" He laughs so hard he ends up curling up as he holds his belly.

Guzma is not going to question the kid's methods. He's god touched, which meant he was never going to be a conventional thinker.

"Successful capture!" Guzma glances over at Gladion who sighs loudly and tosses Ash's hat at him.

"Don't do anything stupid or I'll tell Ash to let Mew bother you." Guzma sighs but easily agrees as he pulls a mask out of his pocket and puts on his sunglasses.

"I would never." Ash and Lillie look over at him and pout and damn, fine. He wouldn't.

"Urgh. Fine. Now stop with those looks." He gets on Ash's Charizard while Ash sits in front of him. Plumeria waves him and unties her sweater from around her waist to expose her tattoo. Guzma glances down at his sleeves pulled down over his arms and snorts. 

"When you figure my job, I'm going to laugh at you." The brat has the gall to shoot him a hurt look. "It's not like I'm hiding what I do." He pouts and resolutely looks ahead. He hears a beeping noise and sees Lillie hold up her wrist, a screen pops up and he can see Burnet.

"I'll meet you by the-" Guzma looks away, he notices Ash silently move them out of view and Lillie further angles them out of view.

Guzma takes a deep breath and finds his calm before he flips on his hood. 

"Hey! I have a couple of things to say to you!" Guzma makes sure his anger and resentment aren't heard as he approaches Kukui and Burnet. Ash and Lillie walks close to him as if nothing is wrong and he knows that this is on purpose.

No doubt by Gladion to show that he means no harm.

"Sending kids to fight is dangerous. Not only that, it's stupid too. I know these kids don't get out of school until three and yet they were fighting unknown pokemon at two in the afternoon!" Guzma stops while Lillie, Gladion and Ash continue forward to deliver the beast balls to Burnet. 

Guzma swallows down his pain when he sees Kukui's arm in a sling and his leg in a cast. He knows Kukui would protect them with all that he had, but Kukui was also a fool who didn't think and had once gotten his z crystal stolen by some type of Fae.

"Kids shape the future, they bring about change and your stifling that by cutting their education. What happens if one of those unknown pokemon shows up at some arceus forsaken hour in the morning? Are you just going to let them miss sleep?!" He can see that Kukui really was a fool.

"No!" And he did not have a plan.

"Listen, i know Gladion and he's kept me up to date on what is going on." Kukui looks at him, trying to figure out who he is and Guzma feels terror grip him. He doesn't want Kukui to know him. He wasn't ready to see what reaction he would have to Guzma after abandoning him to the wolves.

"I don't know what the hell those pokemon are and i don't care. But i will take care of battling them when the kids are in school and when they are supposed to be sleeping." Kukui looks to shaken by Guzma just throwing everything in his face to do anything but agree and thank him. Gladion rests his hand on Guzma's bicep and waits.

"Keep taking good care of Gladion, if you don't I'll come back and kick your ass." Gladion coughs and shoves him away from Kukui, Guzma wanders off with his hands in his pockets.

He'd been wanting to tell that to him for a while. Plumeria was going to punch him for that, she had wanted first dibs.


	27. So I'll Walk Through This Night, Stumbling Blindly Through The Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: the next right thing- Kristen Bell

After Anakala's talk with Kukui-hakase, things had quieted down for a little bit. He had sent a letter off to Clemont and Bonnie and told them without really telling them about what happened and how he was trying to get better.

Burnet-hakase had given Gladion a usb with the information to the ultra beast tracking software for Anakala to use and hadn't asked any questions. 

Ash didn't really get why things were tense for a little bit after that. It was like, Kukui-hakase and Burnet-hakase felt guilty.

He doesn't know why they would feel guilty. At least until he texts Brock who calls him and explains that Alola was not Kanto where kids became legal adults at age ten. That just because they were qualified trainers, it didn't mean that they should be on the front lines during a crisis.

"But we were." Through so many regions. And it had gone so wrong for him the last time.

"Yes, we were. And it was wrong." Brock sighs, and its that sigh he had made when Ash had brokenly explained that Lucario was gone.

"We were just kids, and the adults should have taken the brunt of the load but they didn't and now you can't touch anyone Ash." Brock sounds hurt, like the day he had first come to see Ash and Ash had flinched away from his hug.

"May can barely handle being in an elevator. Max still shakes if there is a drastic change in the tides. Dawn still shakes if she slips down a step. Misty won't let anyone stand behind her. Tracy can't cross the ocean on a boat if there is a storm." Ash looks down, his hands shake and he tries his best to blink back his tears.

"Iris gets nervous when there's a sudden drop in temperature. Cilan can't get on an airplane anymore. Clemont can't go outside. Bonnie cries if she doesn't hear back from me. Serena is afraid of mass mega evolution." Ash's voice cracks, he chokes and buries his face in his hand.

"You're afraid to leave me alone with myself." He sobs.

Pikachu is calling out to him, pawing at Ash's stomach, and his shoulder. Trying to make Ash look at him.

But he _can't._

He thought it would hurt less. It only hurts more to think about what he's done to everyone he's called friend.

Jessie, James and Meowth had been prepared to die a few times. They had _died!_

 _Pikachu_ had _died!_

Ash had died again and again and _again._

What was going to happen to his friends _here?_

Lillie and Gladion had already been hurt.

"Ash?!" It hurts and he wants it to stop.

Bayleef is crying as she nuzzle his shoulder, Scraggy is holding onto Ash's arm.

He can't sense anything else, as all he feels is hurt. So much _hurt._

He's hurting his pokemon.

And he can't stop because it hurts so badly he can't stop crying. He's curling into himself and someone is next to him but he doesn't want to be touched by anyone! He just wants to feel safe!

**Breathe. Focus past the pain. Safety is here.**

**He can see Clemont and Bonnie looking so worried. They hold Greninja's/his hands.**

**Breathe.**

Someone is holding his hand. He can hear someone talking in stilted Kantonese, a hand is rubbing his back and Pikachu and Scraggy are pressed to his chest.

"I want it to stop hurting." He whispers brokenly, he can hear a sniffle and his heart falls as he realizes he has hurt someone else.

"I'm tired." He mutters, he doesn't want to cry. He hates crying. It only made the kids at home pick on him more. It never solved any of his problems. 

Ash is exhausted. He should really apologize.

**Shh, sleep now. Peace. There is safety here.**

* * *

Kukui looks up from where he is showing Burnet where be keeps the dishes and the silverware, she's clearly boggled by his system. Lillie runs into the living room, she looks disheveled for having just finished bathing. She runs to Ash's room and Burnet's arm is around his waist as she helps him limp toward's Ash's room. Gladion is sliding down the loft ladder and then Kukui can hear short keening sobs.

Ash is curled up on his bed, Pikachu and Scraggy held securely to his chest as he releases another keening wail. The noise tugs at his heart and he has to blink back tears as Ash's pokemon try to comfort him.

They are crying as they do their best to help Ash, but he sounds as if his heart is breaking.

Lillie stands beside his bed with her hand outstretched as she calls out to him. She flinches back, dropping to her knees as tears stream down her cheeks.

She delicately grabs hold of Ash's hand and Gladion is moving around them where they can hear someone shouting. He picks up a phone and begins to talk, Kukui looks to Burnet who helps him over to sit on Ash's bed. He gently rubs Ash's back as he takes a shuddering breath.

"I want it to stop hurting." He croaks out and it breaks Kukui to hear. He sounds so small. So hurt.

Ash seems to shrink in on himself a little more.

"I'm tired." He murmurs, sniffling a little as if the tears have finally passed. He looks up and see Burnet holding her hands to her chest with tears silently streaming down her cheeks. She wipes her eyes and offers him a weak smile.

Ash's breathing slows, hitching as if he is still crying in his sleep. Kukui hasn't seen Ash cry in a while.

Even then, it hadn't been as bad as this.

"It was a friend of his, he couldn't stop apologizing." Gladion looks sad as he kneels down beside Lillie and peers up at Ash. Kukui wonders what he sees, his face twists as if he wants to cry but he bravely holds it in and rests his hands on Lillie's shoulders as she whimpers and presses Ash's hand to her face.

Kukui glances at the pokemon in the room that cry for this boy with an incredible burden on his shoulders.

Mew and Mewtwo watch them silently. Their eyes full of sorrow before they silently slink out of the room.

The next morning Ash is silent and pale as he sits at the table. He blinks slowly, hugs Pikachu and Scraggy and points at the fridge. Burnet had left a note. She'd made breakfast and lunch for them all before she had left for work.

"Did you want to stay home?" Ash slowly gazes at the window where rain pounds against the window and shakes his head.

Lillie and Gladion silently pad into the room and stare out the window equally silent. He sees them link hands under the table and feels for his kids.

Mew seems to read the atmosphere and the legendary simply comes down and winds itself around Ash's shoulders.

Kukui thinks about the letter that sits in his pocket. He thinks about Kalos and what it had done to this bright and cheerful kid to make him a silent, pale ghost of himself.

"Can i hug you?" Ash blinks slow, thinking for a long minute before he rises from his chair and makes his way to Kukui's side. He tilts forward and rests his head on Kukui's arm, careful of his sling. Kukui gently wraps his arm around Ash's upper back and just holds him. Its quiet.

And Kukui wishes he knew what to say. He settles for holding Ash until Ash decides that Kukui is overstepping his boundaries.

Mew teleports them to the school, and Ash wanders away from him.

The class easily notices the somber mood when they arrive. And well, Ash is sitting on the floor instead of his desk with Lycanroc on his lap and Charizard at his back.

Lillie quietly tells the others that Ash just needed some time to himself.

The class passes by in silence, the others reflecting Ash's mood. His shoulders curl inward as he seems to realize this.

At lunch Ash gets up and leaves the class, Gladion waves them off and follows him. Charizard and Torracat are returned to their Pokeballs but the rest follow Ash.

"I think you should stay here Rotom." Kukui says, Rotom reluctantly stays behind.

Ash comes back just before lunch ends with malasadas for the class and a Kantonese Meowth in his arms beside Scraggy and Pikachu.

Gladion looks slightly insulted as he stares at a gift card.

He meets Kukui's eyes and slips the card into his pocket as if nothing had happened.

Kukui looks back towards Ash who grooms Meowth without hesitation.

"I missed dis Twerp." He finds it strange but keeps that to himself. His purrs fill Ash's silence.

Mew teleports Ash home first, then comes back for them once Kukui has checked on his students to see how they were handling the stress of being ultra Guardians.

Mallow seems to be having the most trouble as she works in her family's restaurant. Gladion promises to send some friends of his who want to be culinary chefs to work for experience in order to cover her shifts.

Kiawe has chores that Gladion also offers to send some friends to cover him for. 

Somehow, Gladion seems to have someone to cover for them all if they need it.

Kukui, Gladion and Lillie arrive home to see Ash pointing to the refrigerator. Burnet looks exasperated as she rifles through the refrigerator for his spice rack. 

"We're home." Burnet grins at him and then he hears music and Gladion cackles. Lillie snickers but hides it behind her hand and Ash smiles faintly. Kukui limps over to the couch, Ash's eyes flicker towards him but he stays seated in the kitchen and watches Burnet cook and sing.

He still looks a little sad and a little tired. But it is fading.

This sadness makes him wonder what happened.

But Ash's smiles make him think that it's okay to not know.

* * *

Ash is no longer sad the next day. He didn't like feel being sad or mad. He texted Brock that he was sorry and Brock sent him a picture of his siblings. It made him smile.

Ash noticed that when Kukui-hakase and Burnet-hakase had some free time in the morning, they would meditate outside after Kukui-hakase did some exercises for his arm. 

They invited him, Lillie and Gladion to join, Gladion usually did join them. Ash knows that he meditates a lot.

Ash had tried meditation a few times, it had always been distracting to him. Not at all peaceful like people said it would be.

Maybe that was why Mimey had started him on the Kung Fu lessons.

Then Gladion and Kukui-hakase had helped to teach him what he had been doing wrong. It was still distracting and a little scary, but then again, Ash had aura while other people didn't.

Mewtwo was very helpful in regards to teaching him to quiet the world around him. Aura was similar enough to psychic energy, when it came to reading life that is.

 _ **"That's it, focus on the familiar presences and slowly let those other presences fade to the back."**_ Mewtwo's tail idly flicked behind him, Pikachu held perfectly still on his lap. The world narrowed down to Mewtwo and Pikachu. All else faded.

Huh. So that's what that was like. Quiet.

Peaceful.

And not for him.

Ash opens his eyes, blinking a few times before he really registers all the pokemon gathered around him. 

"Uhhh." Pikachu snickers, Rowlet plops down onto his head and falls asleep while Scraggy climbs onto his lap.

This was okay too. Ash hugged Pikachu and Scraggy and tilted sideways so that he leaned against Mewtwo. Mewtwo was tense but slowly relaxed until his tail came to a rest behind Ash. The other pokemon gather closer until soon they were all piled upon one another.

He almost felt complete like this. His other pokemon were obviously missing as were his friends, but he felt at ease like this.

* * *

Mallow could see that Ash had changed from that strange and slightly rude kid in Kanto. He had been so distant and closed off, secretive and mysterious. And then Lillie had held Snowy. Had touched Pikachu.

Could touch Mew.

And Ash had opened up to them. Smiling and laughing. Playing but keeping his distance. Always keeping his distance.

And yet, he was always ready to help out.

And then she stayed after school once and saw Ash have a match with Kiawe. He was a completely different person.

Bright and confident with no fear.

She remembers his tears when Kukui had hugged him after he woke up.

And then ultra space. It was scary. Fighting against all the ultra beast.

Professors, Kukui, Burnet and Gary Oak had done their best to shield them but it was a frightening experience all the same.

Coming back to school had been a relief. Seeing everyone looking exhausted and sleep deprived. 

Distance was reestablished.

Surprisinly, it had hurt. But she knew this pain had paled in comparison to Ash's pain. His frustration and sorrow when he had been so open with them before.

But he persevered as he had before. Just like Lillie, who would talk herself down from her fear and reach out regardless of fear. And just like Lillie, he flinched back. But he was stubborn and determined, and somehow it was endearing to see him trying. 

A hand on the shoulder didn't seem like much but was a huge milestone to them and Ash.

* * *

Sophocles had thought Ash was someone that was highly intelligent. He worked for _The_ pokemon professor, but he wasn't. Oh he was smart, but not in the way that Sophocles thought.

He was smart about pokemon. About their feelings and trained them in unorthodox ways that helped the pokemon better than he thought it would.

He also felt his emotions strongly.

He was passionate, and unfailingly kind even when he's seen the darkest that the world could bring.

His mother told him once, that it takes a special kind of person to see the ugliness of the world and still smile and spread kindness.

He hadn't understood it. Not really.

And then they went to ultra space. They had fought ultra beasts and Ash's pokemon had been left behind in groups. Ash had sacrificed his ease of comfort to save Lillie's mother. Had left his mother and his Charizard to defend their backs and kept moving forward against every obstacle.

Then when they arrived back to their world, Kahuna Nanu wanted to question them. Gary Oak refused it. He stood up for them, and went head to head with Nanu to give them time to process. Nanu couldn't refuse after his argument.

"They did that in Kalos. And it fucked him up. He didn't even get the chance to process anything! They pushed and they pushed and then he told and refused medical treatment. He was missing and injured because they would not stop pushing." With each word, he took a step forward. He forcefully made Nanu back away.

"So excuse me for wanting to stop something similar from happening again. Because you can bet that i will tear you to shreds if you so much as think of questioning my brother before he's even had time to breathe." He snarled, Kahuna Nanu left them alone after that.

It was eye opening.

And very disheartening to learn.

But seeing Ash now, smiling and laughing. Trying to get closer to them. He can see how lonely Ash must have been. He was very sociable.

And kind of an idiot. But not in a bad way.

"Clemont is into making his own inventions too!" Ash exclaims as he looks at the wheel on Sophocles lawn. Then proceeds to over exert the machine and make it explodes. He laughs, saying it was just like Clemont's inventions now.

Sophocles wonders if he misses his friends in the region he can't name.

He talks about him often when Sophocles is stuck, but never in a way that makes him feel like a replacement. It makes Sophocles feel warm inside to bring Ash a sense of comfort. He's eager to work on his next invention, he thinks listening to stories about Clemont's inventions gives him more ideas.

* * *

Lana had always been outspoken about her dream. Ash had been surprised but never once looked at her in disbelief. He had looked understanding.

Then she had met his Lugia. Or rather his friend. He had made her really think about her dream.

About the connections she had.

It made her realize that for all her claims of friendship, she might not actually have been a good friend. Not to Mallow and not to Lillie. She resolved to fix it. To make up for it.

And she realized something else.

That Ash was desperately alone. Trying to make friends but being so afraid. Scarred by _someone_ who had betrayed him. 

Kukui had never told them what happened to Ash to make him like this. Just told them that he had been in Kalos during the crisis and to never bring up Kalos or touch him. But Lana was smart.

She could see what others did not.

She could see that despite his fears, Ash cared _too_ much.

He trusted so easily.

Forgave even more easily.

He had burned for it and didn't trust himself when it should've been the other way around. His pokemon guarded his heart for him.

But he was doing better now. Even when he was scared, he looked at them and there was no doubt that he trusted them.

Helping out at Kiawe's farm had shown him that he wasn't as afraid of them as he thought he was.

He just needed to believe in himself more.

Lana would believe in him, he was her friend. So she would reach out to him even when he flinched. Especially because he flinched. He seemed to react less when they would meet halfway.

She wonders if he will play tag with her again someday.

* * *

Kiawe hadn't trusted Ash at first.

He was on a first name basis with Kanto gangsters that stole pokemon. But then Kiawe had neared him and suddenly he was ready to fight as if he been attacked before by someone he thought was on his side. It had been unsettling. Even more when the gangsters had shifted accordingly as if anyone Ash saw as a threat...

Was a threat.

He'd been wrong. Ash had been nothing but kind even if he had a strange way of showing it.

Meeting Nebby had been a shock, and yet Ash seemed as if his whole world had ended. As if this had happened before and he had seen the consequences. And the consequences had been to much.

He really got to know Ash as a person when Nebby teleported Ash to his ranch and he had been as excited as a five year old. He wasn't scared.

Well he was, but it was his excitement that won out. Ash had played with Mimo as if he hadn't a single care in the world. But when he had met Kiawe's parents, he had been scared. Scared when they loomed over him and Ash was short so it wasn't that hard but he wasn't scared of Professor Kukui.

When he talks to his mom and dad about it later, they get serious.

"You have been lucky Kiawe. Lucky to be born in Alola where there is less than two percent of crime and even then it is nothing too bad." His parents each grab hold of his hands.

"There are regions where the crime is far greater. And it isn't just adults that suffer. Children suffer, and sometimes they suffer at the hands of adults." And Kiawe can easily remember the way that Ash had first reacted to Professor Kukui. The look in his eyes that said he could take the pain and then double it in return.

"Your friend has suffered a lot for one so young. You need to be kind, and show him that he can still have faith in people." Mom says, dad nods and smiles at him.

"He is a very kind boy, and I'm sure he has only become kinder. But he is still so very afraid, that kind of fear can eat away at you until you no longer resemble the person you used to be. You need to help him remember that there is more than fear." 

It helped him understand Ash better. It made him realize that Ash was stronger than Wela volcano. Because Ash could have given up on people after Kalos but hadn't. He cared and loved so fiercely, even when he was frightened in equal measure. 

And after ultra space, with the ultra beasts, Ash had continued moving on despite his fears. Reaching out time and again. Flinching back, tensing, but always reaching out again.

He was strong. Able to fight pokemon as if he was one. It made Kiawe curious about his past adventures. What possessed him to fight pokemon? Was that how he became so strong? Was this why pokemon seemed drawn towards him? 

Was this why Tapu Koko had chosen him?

He wanted to know, but he didn't ask. Somehow, he was okay with not knowing. 

He had fun with Ash.

And Ash had fun with him. 

He was hurt and scarred by someone and still believed in people. That took strength.

He wanted to see Ash overcome this fear. Because Ash had helped Lillie overcome her own fears, had encouraged her and held her hand every step of the way.

But to do that, they needed to give him time to heal. Which meant being prepared to take down ultra beasts and letting him take the back seat. Combating trauma with more trauma would only hurt him more. 

* * *

Ash finds a nice spot to meditate. His pokemon join him, spreading out to surround him. He smiles to himself and basks in the warm Alolan sun.

It was very peaceful. He could fall asleep right here.

Ash hits the ground, he rubs his eyes and tiredly sits up. Mewtwo's gone, but Mew isn't. He looks around to see that his pokemon are all slowly waking up and looking around.

"Hm?" Ash hums to himself as he takes in the various Passimian gathered around them. The Guardian Deities are shaking themselves awake, curious as to what had woken them. Ash climbs to his feet, hugging the two in his arms closer and then scoops Rowlet up. 

"Let's go take a looooooooook." Ash yawns, he finds Mewtwo floating upside down in the tree. Ash grins when he sees the psychic feline was still sleeping.

"Alola Ash!" Ash waves at Hau, the older teen has a box in his hand. Ash freezes and stares at it.

"It's cold." It's strange, it feels like a condensed form of aura. It feels different.

"Ah, i got this for Lillie!" He beams, and Ash knows now, this was what had woken him, and then in turn woke the pokemon.

Kukui-hakase steps out, likely to call him for lunch, and smiles when he sees Hau.

"You here for Gladion and Lillie?" At Hau's nod, he calls out to them. Gladion glares, pointedly looking at the box while Lillie looks confused.

"I got this present for you, you could choose not to use it if you like. But i thought you and Snowy would like the option." Lillie walks down the steps and accepts the box with a confused frown.

Her skin pales as she looks up, hands dropping to her sides as she stumbles back. 

Ash barely has a second to worry before his limbs begin to feel like jelly and his pokemon slip out of his hold.

Ash felt as if all the air had been driven out of his lungs. Ice water flooded his veins and then all sound vanished as he stumbled blindly. A hand grabbed onto his elbow. 

Pikachu worriedly chirped into his ear, Charizard roared, the sound reverberating through his bones. 

"That ultra beast." Ash croaked, his vision graying as the yawning chasm between reality tore. The hand on his elbow tightens, and Ash can see it. Or rather them.

Three UB-01, Gladion growls somewhere behind him as Lillie gasps.

"Pikachu!!!!!!!!!!!" Ash feels Pikachu's weight vanish, he can hear shouting as his feet leave the ground. Everything is distorted, he can't figure out which way is up or down but Kukui-hakase is beside him. 

"Char!!!!!!!" There is heat, a gust of wind and then there's panic. Ash forces himself to look, even as the world spins dangerously out of control.

"Decidueye!! Raichu!!!" He hits the ground, rolling until he comes to a stop. He can see Gladion and Silvally fighting. Lillie is struggling in the grasp of the ultra beast, it's tentacles tighten around her.

"Scraggy!" He gasps, his limbs trembling as he tries to gain his bearing. A chill runs down his spine as Scraggy uses high jump kick to assist Gladion. 

"Bayleef! Torracat!" Ash shouts as he is wrapped into a cold jelly like embrace. He fights, dragging himself and straining against the bonds even as the void screams.

Razorleaf and firefang combine and create a firestorm. Bayleef bursts through the storm and body slams the ultra beast, Ash wraps his hands around the jelly like limbs and tugs. His hands go numb but Ash hurls the ultra beast into the floor with force, Bayleef uses vine whip to tug him free while Torracat and Rowlet team up to create a firestorm.

Lycanroc is helping Hau defend Kukui-hakase against another ultra beast. They just had to hold on, the others would be coming.

Mewtwo used shadow ball, psychic, psystrike and safeguard but none of the moves were effective.

Ash thanked his pokemon and ran after Lillie. Even though his hands were numb, and the abyss called to him, he didn't hesitate to jump and grab hold of her reaching hands.

Even when sound became static and his pokemon's bright presences became muted, Ash didn't hesitate to brace his feet against the ultra beast's bulbous head and tug.

When all the color faded to mute shades of gray, Ash didn't care and forced the cold limbs to release Lillie. Lillie locks her hands into his shirt and both tries to get him to move and free herself, she says something, he can't hear her, he doesn't think she can hear herself. Her eyes won't focus.

He manages to pry her loose and throws her at her brother, before he can be caught, an arm wraps around his waist and then he can finally feel heat. 

It's Kiawe. He's shouting something, Ash is so very cold. A hand slaps his cheek, he blinks slowly, he struggles to focus on Kiawe as the void shrieks.

"Make it stop." Ash pleads, all three shriek in harmony, a discordant harmony that grates at his very being. It sets him on fire while simultaneously chilling him to the core.

 _ **"Ash, focus on us. Ignore them."**_ Focus on everyone else? He could do that, even though they were so dim. Ash knew them as if they were a part of his very soul, he could tell Pikachu's spark, it never strayed far from him. He could feel the inferno that was Charizard, the tempest that was Torracat, the muted and soft presence of Rowlet, the bundle of excitement and the feeling of the earth in Lycanroc, the sun reflecting and feeling of life that followed Bayleef, the dark focus of Scraggy and his competitive nature. He can feel the bubbly nature of Mew, the calm serene masking a storm that is Mewtwo.

He can feel Lillie, cool and full of joy at all the little things.

He can feel Gladion, an oasis that masks it depths but slowly reflects beautiful images.

He can feel Kukui-hakase, solid and safe.

Kiawe's burning determination. 

Mallow's warmth and compassion.

Lana's hidden depths, vast like the ocean.

Sophocles' curiosity and intellect, his soft kindness.

Hau's bright serenity, his protective instincts over Gladion's family.

Ash feels as if he's breathing through a straw, the world is out of focus and he can't hear a thing. But he can sense everyone's feeling in this moment.

**Drive back those ultra beasts with everything we have!!!!!!!!**

"Pikachu! Charizard! Thunder Armor!!" Ash calls out, he can feel emotions and pushes them back, focusing on his friends. He fights his sluggish body so that he won't cause Kiawe any trouble, his shaking hands grab hold of Kiawe's arm when it wraps around his chest to hold him still as Charizard dodges.

He can feel Pikachu and Charizard's synchronized attack below them. Snowy changes, her presence grows stronger and he can feel awe and pride from Lillie and Gladion.

"Ninetails! Dazzling gleam followed up by blizzard!" Ash wonders if this was the gift that Hau was bringing.

He should congratulate them when this was over.

"Barrel roll Kiawe." Ash's lungs stutter as he chokes out the command to his friend. Kiawe wastes no time, his hat is gone as something cold barely misses his face.

* * *

Kiawe holds Ash closer and swallows back a scream at the near miss.

It has been scary to find Ash and Lillie caught by those two ultra beasts. It was scary seeing Lillie and her brother's fearful faces. But it was scarier to see Ash slowly going catatonic. 

Their cellphones being linked to the same network as the ultra Guardian's had been a blessing. If not, then they wouldn't have known that there were ultra beasts at Kukui-hakase's house.

They had hurried as quickly as they could, to the school to get to their uniforms and the ultra beast balls. Now he doesn't think its so stupid that Ash told them to carry them even out of uniform.

 _ **"Mew, we must combine attacks."**_ Kiawe feels Ash shudder but he doesn't say anything to the two legendary pokemon. Instead he grabs hold of Kiawe's arm.

"Retreat everyone!!!" Kiawe doesn't hesitate. He instantly steer Charizard to higher ground. He glances back to see the others have scattered in the face of the two glowing legendaries.

"Don't look. Don't look." Ash whispers repeatedly, Pikachu drops down from above them, Ash clings to him. The air explodes violently behind them and Kiawe and Ash are flung off Charizard, Ash's Charizard catches them while keeping Gladion, Lillie and Professor Kukui on his back.

Charizard is facing that direction where the ultra beasts were, Ash grabs hold of Charizard snout and turns him away as they are deposited onto Kiawe's Charizard. 

"Don't look Charizard. Don't look." Charizard stares at Ash, Pikachu on his shoulder then snorts softly but does not look back as they wait for the clouds to clear. 

Ash looks scared, Pikachu looks worried, and Kiawe doesn't know how to help him.

"It wasn't enough." Kiawe blinks then whirls around to look behind them to see the two legendary pokemon in pink and blue barriers with the ultra beasts slamming their tentacles into them.

Kiawe could hear them crying out. It physically hurt to hear them, let alone see the legendaries in pain and vulnerable as they tried to shield themselves.

"Pikachu," Ash stands up, Kiawe nearly panics but Ash smiles at him, Pikachu at his feet grins fiercely. "We'll show those ultra beasts that no one gets away with hurting our friends." On then, on Charizard's back, hundreds of feet in the air, they perform their z move. Kiawe looks up towards Professor Kukui in disbelief but his teacher is smiling. Lillie and Gladion look exasperated but they don't shout at Ash for his recklessness.

"Get ready! Gigavolt havoc!" Pikachu punches and lightning strikes and three beast balls fly through the air.

Kiawe lands Charizard and hurriedly catches Ash when he tips over. He maked a pained noise as his hands clench tightly over his ears. Sweat accumulates across his forehead as he breathes heavily, then Ash is taken from him and held securely to Professor Kukui's chest as he murmurs softly for Ash to block out everything. 

Kiawe wonders where his sling went. And if it hurt to run with that cast still on his foot.

Kiawe looks back towards Lillie to see her pale complexion wash out completely as she moans in obvious discomfort. Her brother holds her tightly in his arms and slowly the pained look vanishes.

Kiawe waits, unsure what he can do to help, if he can even help, but he stays because these are his friends and he cares about them. 

Lana and Mallow solemnly pick up the beast balls while Sophocles reports that they were successful in capturing the three ultra beasts.

"Are Ash, Lillie and Gladion alright?" Professor Burnet asks fearfully.

"Gladion," Professor Kukui calls out and Gladion says nothing as he leads Lillie over towards them. "I'm not very good at this." He confesses, Gladion shakes his head and passes Lillie over to Kiawe with a look, Kiawe nods and wraps an arm around her shoulders. Gladion wraps his arms around Ash's shoulder and rests his cheek on the back of Ash's head.

"Don't let go, he doesn't need that right now." He mutters when Professor Kukui makes to step back. It's silent as Ash wheezes, shaking fit to fly apart at any second. Somehow, the contact with both Gladion and Professor Kukui helps to ground him as slowly he stops shaking and his breathing evens.

Kiawe and Lillie start and take a step forward when Ash's legs give out but Gladion was already lowering him to the ground.

"Tired?" He asks softly, Lillie smiles thankfully at Kiawe and drops down onto the floor beside Ash and Gladion and leans against them while taking Ash's hand into both of hers. Ash nods and then his pokemon slowly begin to approach him.

Charizard and Pikachu first, reaching out to Ash with looks of relief on their faces.

Scraggy and Bayleef next, hesitantly waiting until Ash extends his free hand to them.

Rowlet tiredly drops down onto his shoulder with a soft coo. Ash rubs his cheek to the sleeping bird.

Lycanroc is lying on his belly when he approaches Ash, whining softly until Ash pats the floor softly. Lycanroc perks up and scrambles forward, stopping short of running into Ash, tail wagging happily as his tongue lolls.

Torracat simply planted himself beside Lycanroc and delicately set a paw on Ash's knee.

Kiawe looks behind him when he feels a chill. A beautiful Alolan Ninetails brushes past him and comes to a stop beside Lillie.

"You're so beautiful Snowy." Kiawe smiles, it had been a surprise to see Lillie on Silvally's back slide under the Nihilego and throw herself towards a box. But when she revealed the object within, throwing it to Snowy.

"Congratulations Lillie. You and Snowy have come a long way." Kiawe says, heart fit to burst.

Professor Kukui grins and adjusts his hat.

"We're all proud of you and Snowy." Lillie looks up at them and smiles, wiping away a tear as she laughs.

"Group hug!" Hau shouts as he throws himself at the siblings, Ash's hat in hand. Kiawe, not normally one to go along with these type of shenanigans, simply plops down beside his friends. Hau tugs him in as Lana, Mallow and Sophocles throw themselves into the hug. Professor Kukui joins them, picking up Ash's hat from where it fell and gently setting it onto Ash's head. Ash is smiling.

He's laughing, and he's reaching out to hug them.

Kiawe doesn't hesitate and throws himself closer to hug Ash back. Because Ash had been afraid of them, saying he wasn't but flinching away all the same. Then he was able to touch them for short periods of time, and let them touch him in turn.

He had been a pale shade of himself on a rainy day, and now here he was, smiling and laughing and _trusting._

Kiawe cries, as do the others, and Ash, he smiles and cries as he tries his best to hug them all. People and pokemon. 

"I love you guys!!" Ash laughs; Kiawe has seen the changes that Ash has brought to Alola. All of them good, bringing light and life wherever he went. With who ever he touched.

All of them had changed in wonderful ways.

Lillie could touch pokemon, had reunited with her brother.

Gladion had stopped being so cold and distant. 

Hau, who had seemed alone for as long as Kiawe had known him, was surrounded by friends.

Mallow shouldering the weight of her mother's death, and the responsibility of working at the family restaurant. Had learned to loosen up and accept help.

Lana, as unreadable as the ocean but just as playful, interacted with them more. Her dream was still important, but so were her connections to all of them.

Sophocles routed in his technology and use of his intelligence, was seeing life as they did. He understood now, that intelligence was not all there was to the world. Their spirits and feelings mattered as well.

Professor Kukui had changed as well.

He remembers when Lillie was first enrolled, the distance that Professor Kukui had with them all, was only slightly different with Lillie. He tried helping her, they all did, and yet they had all been stuck on how to help her.

Yet when they had gone to Kanto and then returned with one extra passenger to their school, he had begun to change.

His professional distance was shattered as he took Ash in. Reaching out to help Ash in anyway he could as he was traumatized in ways similar to Lillie yet different. And slowly the barriers fell. Interacting with all of them more, reaching out to them all. Setting aside time to help them all when he realized they were struggling.

Changing right before their eyes.

And then Lillie had held Snowy in front of them. And Professor Kukui cried, smiling with such pride it was like looking at a new person. And he kept changing, distance meaning nothing as he looked out for all of them outside of school times.

And Kiawe, well, he had been lost as to what he wanted to do. Olivia would be Kahuna for a long time, and while he helped at the ranch, it was not his dream. He had grown stronger and had not known what he wanted to do in life. Not until they had met Ash. Seeing all the pokemon he owned, across various regions, who loved him in return.

It had opened up Kiawe's eyes, and then he had battled Ash. His unorthodox fighting style, the skill in which he command his pokemon both new and old. It had provided a rush.

He had challenged Kiawe in ways that he had not been challenged in a long time. Fighting alongside him or against him made no difference. Kiawe had fun. He was continuously surprised and amazed. It was exhilarating to experience a battle with Ash. Kiawe had realized he had been living a shell of a life before.

Now, he wanted to grow stronger.

He wanted to travel as Ash had.

* * *

Hau was laughing, he was in tears but he was so happy. Ash had accepted his hug. Gladion smiling, and jokingly elbowing him lightly in the chest but hugging him. Lillie was laughing as she hugged people and pokemon alike. Kiawe, Mallow, Lana and Sophocles were jostling each other to hug Ash and his siblings. 

Hau wasn't lonely anymore. None of them were.

Tutu was wrong to worry about Ash and the changes he had brought.

Hau had not seen this much potential in a long time. Each one of these individuals could become trial captains. They were all strong individually and united they were even stronger.

Ash had helped them all. The Guardian Deities had moved in ways that had never before been seen.

Ash was _hope._

And Hau was proud to be his friend. God blessed meant nothing, it was Ash who brought about the change.

He's even helped Team Skull, not that he knows that. Guzma was a riot to be around. 

Tutu was wrong about a lot of things, but the biggest thing he was wrong about, was Guzma. Guzma hadn't really changed from the kid that tutu used to talk about. Sure, Team Skull caused chaos and stuff, but none of them actually broke the law. And Guzma took care of his own, he protected them when no one else would.

Hau can see now, that it was because no one had done that for him. 

He understands now, why Nanu said he had clear eyes.

The legendary pokemon, Mewtwo and Mew, watch them pick themselves up. Ash does hug them too and Hau is amused that Mewtwo seems embarrassed by the affection. Ash is one of a kind. 

He's glad they had become friends.

"Thank you Hau!" Lillie hugs him and suddenly Hau feels as if he is in danger. He glances past Lillie to see Gladion with his arms crossed over his chest and a downright fearsome scowl on his face.

Hau remembers Guzma cheating at video games, like Gladion and how he let Ash cling to him even when he was scowling, also like Gladion. He hugs Lillie back and grins, Gladion raises two fingers to point at his eyes then mouths something and points at him. 

"Mm." Lillie grunts as she steps back with a pout. "Brother is making faces at you isn't he." She states, Hau laughs at that as she quickly turns around but Gladion is kneeling and petting Umbreon.

"I will catch him one of these days." She mutters, Hau has no doubt about that. He's definitely going to tag along for the ride. Gladion seems to do more out of habit these days, but still would be a hilarious thing to watch.

"We should get back to the base. Anyone hurt?" Lillie reaches past him and touches Decidueye, she smiles with a relieved look.

"I wanted to be sure." She says at his confused look, Hau can see Gladion frown and waves at him.

"I'm sure your brother over there is willing to offer up his pokemon for you when you want reassurance." Gladion nods at them and checks on Ash before waving him off.

"Alright, if no one is hurt then we'll head back to base." Kiawe calls to the others while Lillie makes her way back towards her family. Hau looks over the house and heaves a sigh of relief when he realizes that they had managed to drag the battle away from the house.

Hau watches the small family check each other for injuries before checking the pokemon.

Hau faces ahead while they fly back to the pokemon school. Sending back the Nihilego was dangerous. They didn't go back unless they chose to go back and it was just as big a battle as capturing them. Or so his Raichu tells him after Gladion had crashed at the school for the night.

"Be prepared guys. We have another fight ahead of us." Only he, Gladion and Burnet knew about the struggle in sending back one Nihilego.

His stomach churned as he spotted Tutu on the ground observing them fly by. He didn't need his permission. He didn't need his approval.

Hau thought about the crabrawler he caught. Tutu was wrong, and until he could see it, Hau wouldn't look at him. 

Guzma would probably kick him out when he realized what Hau was doing, but Hau would right the wrongs his family had created. 

Ash had cried for Guzma before even knowing him. Ash, a Haole, a foreigner to Alola. A God blessed person had cried, had asked a question that Hau had never thought about before. 

He had brought change to Alola. Hau could see it everywhere he went, in everyone. It inspired him, and because of it, he would do better than Tutu had with Guzma.

* * *

Plumeria looks at Hau, Ash and Gladion playing video games. Then he looks to Lillie who is having her hair brushed by Guzma.

She see Bane, Akamu and Alani sitting in front of the computer with YouTube on cooking channels. She looks towards Ash who is completely oblivious and smirks at Guzma. He raises his middle finger and then ties off a braid in Lillie's hair.

Plumeria makes her way to her painting room and takes a look at the art spreading across all four walls and the ceiling. 

She looks at the pond outside and opens the window, Shadpedo jumps out of the water when he sees her. She's glad she followed Guzma all those years ago.

Her life had changed for the better. She was free.

They were all free.

And Guzma was healing from what happened to him. He was working hard at trying to let go of the past. He was clinging to old hurts anymore and she could see it in the way he was relaxed. Playing with the others more. Taking the time to repair Shady House a little at a time. It was shaping up to be a new start for them.

Plumeria smiles to herself and shuts the window. Maybe it was time she changed too.


	28. Now It Wanders Lost And Wounded This Heart That I Misplaced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Interlude II **  
> **  
> **  
> GUZMA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: hymm for the missing red

Guzma kicked a rock and watched it roll to a stop he looks up when a large shadow steps onto his path.

It was Tapu Koko.

Guzma freezes, looks behind him at where he had just completed his trial even though he hadn't felt prepared.

"Uh..." he stutters in in confusion, the god is in his face in seconds, Guzma flinches and watches an orange beak less than an inch away from his face open. A berrie falls out and lands on the floor before him, slowly the god drifts backward. Guzma picks up the oran berrie with a look of confusion.

"You... you want me to eat it?" The god nods, Guzma nibbles on the berrie under the gods approving gaze. It's unnerving to be watched so closely by the god, even more so when Guzma had rejected Hala's ideals and passed his trial despite not being ready.

"Koko." Guzma follows the god with trepidation in every step. It was frightening to be so close to the god, and also more than a little awe inspiring. Tapu Koko had lead him to a berrie tree, they slam a beak against the trunk and several berries fall to the ground.

"You want my pokemon to eat the berries?" The god nods once before it floats over to the other side of the tree where it disappears into its shield. Guzma calls out his pokemon, Golisopod chitters comfortingly at him and grooms his hair when he sees him.

"I'm alright buddy, just, just eat up i guess." His pokemon glance over at the god and position themselves around him while they eat.

Once the berries have been polished off, his pokemon and him feel refreshed, Tapu Koko slams their beaks together.

"Did... did you want to battle?" The god nods and Guzma feels fear for his pokemon, but his pokemon reassure him. Golisopod makes to go first but Scyther extends a blade and shakes his head, ushering him back to Guzma's side.

Then Guzma is forced to watch as his skills as a trainer, his pokemon's strength, mean nothing in the face of a god.

Golisopod's ability emergency exit is triggered and Guzma feels relief. At least one of his pokemon would make it out of this, the relief turns to terror when Tapu Koko lays eyes on him.

The god coos in outrage and then decends on him. Striking at Guzma with the intent to harm, and Guzma is helpless to stop it.

Guzma stays conscious through the whole thing, the fear of passing far out outweighed the pain his body experiences. And just when he thinks it's over the god moves to his downed pokemon and Guzma throws himself at the god regardless of the taboo to touch them.

And he was struck down violently for it. He didn't care though, as long as his pokemon were safe, he would do this over again if need be. 

After what felt like ages, the god left them all beaten and bruised and Guzma was pretty sure he'd broken a few bones. His last memory of that evening was Golisopod feeding the others berries and returning them to their pokeballs before carrying Guzma.

Guzma remembers Hala's disappointed face, he remembers his parents worried and fearful expressions, and he remembers how Kukui was not allowed to see him.

He remembers whispered conversation between his parents and Hala. The whispers that stopped when he was able to stay awake for longer than a few minutes.

Hala is looming over him when he wakes up, he tells Guzma it was a little over a week since Golisopod brought him to Hala in the middle of the night.

"It was Tapu Koko was it not?" Guzma nods, Hala frowns and Guzma somehow feels less welcome here than when he had left the week before.

"Guzma you committed blasphemy against Tapu Koko didn't you." Guzma knows, just by looking at Hala that he would not listen to anything Guzma had to say. Just like before when he sent Guzma out for his trial.

"You're not going to listen to what i have to say, I'm not going to bother." Hala doesn't say anything as Guzma gets up and leaves, he hasn't seen Kukui yet, he wonders if Hala has already told Kukui his version of events.

Guzma keeps his head bowed as he limps home. That didn't mean he couldn't feel the stares or hear the whispers. He wonders if his parents feel the same way as the others did.

Guzma didn't sleep at home anymore. He packed a bag and left when his parents wouldn't look him in the eyes.

Guzma grew used to the staring. The whispering. The occasional thrown rock.

Then Guzma noticed a pattern. Anything bad that happened was blamed on him. He bore it all in silence, the last time he stood up for himself almost turned violent and he still had several broken bones at the time.

He lived off of the land when he was no longer allowed to buy food from stores or vendors. He was turned away from the pokemon center when he brought an injured wimpod and had to take care of the pokemon himself. He doesn't think nurse Joy would turn him away if he had been allowed in, but the people outside wouldn't even take the Wimpod to see her.

Guzma took care of the Wimpod before having Golisopod take it back to its school. The Wimpod thanked him, but Guzma was the reason the Wimpod had to wait so long to go back.

Guzma lost sense of time. It was happening more and more.

Then one day someone threw a newspaper in his face yelling angrily enough that spit flew from their lips. A hand bunched up the material of his shirt and shook him, Golisopod emerged from his pokeball, Guzma stopped paying attention.

He was holding a newspaper, the royals of Alola had burned to death aside from one. Golisopod was hugging him.

He dropped the newspaper.

Somehow he was holding a cup of warm coffee, he could see someone with short pink hair running off in the distance. Golisopod urges him to drink the coffee while sheltering him from the rain.

He's holding a bracelet, he vaguely remember a man and a little girl. White is the symbol of innocence and purity, something he was not. Guzma slips it on anyway.

It's always quiet, and lonely. Golisopod rarely stays in his pokeball nowadays, and the others refuse to leave because he tried to release them.

What is he now if he is no longer a trainer? His dream of being a trial captain had all but gone up in flames when he had defended his pokemon. 

Guzma had lost everything, was branded a heretic. And was shunned by people, pokemon didn't mind him, sometimes they shared with him. It made him feel that much more alone.

Then he remembers a woman, she said her name was Lusamine.

"Come work for me, i will protect you and in return you work under Faba and help him." Guzma had agreed, he didn't have anything to lose. She had respected his privacy and gave him a key card and iD with the letter 'G' embossed on it as opposed to his name. She set up a bank account in his name and said she would pay him minimum wage and increase his pay for each year he worked. That he would receive monthly bonuses for helping Faba when they succeeded on any of their experiments. And a bonus at the end of the year when they reached their goals. He was given a place to stay, food, clothes, education.

All of it seemed to good to be true.

She lead him down to a bunker of sorts underneath the Aether Paradise.

"This is where you will be working alongside Faba. He will introduce you to his current project, we call it..." she says as Faba nods to him and walks alongside them.

 **"Type: Full"** He smiles at Guzma and gestures to the various pokemon around them. He explains in detail how they were trying to create a pokemon to combat what they call ultra beasts. Beings from another world.

It was amazing.

And then Guzma learned so much. Biology, engineering, science, math, pokemon genealogy, first aid, and anything else he wanted to learn. Anything! They taught him and he eagerly learned it all.

And when he helped to create the Type Full, well he felt proud. He had done something that not many others could say they did. And nothing had gone wrong. He wasn't a curse like people said he was.

He wasn't allowed to see them until they were stable, but it was a great achievement. And one afternoon while he was in the Paradise, Faba told him it was time.

"These are the Type Full, you will see to their care after we run tests to make sure they function at optimal capacity." Guzma nods, glancing at his clipboard full of excercises, diet plans, and scheduled testing phases. Each of the three chimera pokemon had the same plans.

The chimera before him, one with bronze eyes, looked forlornly at him. Guzma side eyed Faba, and when he saw he wasn't paying attention, he offered the pokemon a sincere smile.

Faba lead him to the other two, one gold and the other silver, both older than the bronze one. And far more grumpier. But Guzma paid it no mind and went about feeding them, checking on them. Notating everything. 

Guzma made a mistake by choosing that attitude. 

Furious gold eyes gleamed with intelligence as talons pressed down on his shoulder. Guzma was afraid, flashes of orange beaks slamming into his vulnerable skin over and over again. He was released, his legs gave out from under him, he slid down the wall.

The chimera snorted, tossing its head at him. He knows he was spared. It left a bitter taste in his mouth.

He got up and closed the door behind him, hands shaking and Golisopod sensed his fear as he immediately released himself from his pokeball to hug him.

"I'm okay..." Guzma lied, Golisopod hugged him harder.

"Hey, you're outgrowing your uniform again!" Faba smacks him with a clipboard, Guzma rubs his head and glares but Faba stares back unmoved.

"Just get a few sizes bigger and roll it up, you're growing like a weed." Guzma huffs but Faba won't let him work so he goes all the way back upstairs to Wicke's office and crashing face first into a girl with white hair. She smiles and helps him to his feet.

"Sorry, i got turned around trying to find Wicke's office. Then name's Burnet!" Guzma sighs and shakes her hand.

"The name's G. Follow me, i have to see about new uniforms." Guzma complains under his breath and Faba being ridiculous, Burnet laughs.

"What's G stand for?" Guzma looks her in the eye.

"For Goober." Then knocks on the door and enters Wicke's office, she laughs when she sees him and he pouts.

"He send you for new uniforms again?" Guzma says nothing and kicks at the floor.

"He said to get it a few sizes bigger." Wicke nods and tosses him a key.

"It was nice meeting you." Guzma says and leaves while overhearing if his name really was Goober, Wicke's laughter echoes down the hall from how hard she laughs.

Guzma snickers, he hasn't made anyone laugh in a long time. 

Guzma trips when the folds he did for his pants come undone. Faba sighs in exasperation and helps him up, pressing a clipboard to the top of his head while passing him two rubber bands.

"You need to fill out more, you're like a tall twig swimming in clothes." Guzma snatches the rubber bands and kneels to put them on.

"You always find something to complain about." Faba smirks at him in response.

"Starting tomorrow, Burnet will be working with us and as she is in school to become a professor, she will be your senior, you will have to show her the ropes." Guzma groans, another superior?

"Fine." He mutters, Faba pats his shoulder.

"Cheer up, you get your own labcoat next week, though seeing how you keep outgrowing your clothes, we should see about getting you a bigger one." Faba pauses then begins to laugh. Guzma unrolls his sleeve and uses the excess length to smack Faba before rolling his sleeves again.

"I'm going to play with Keleawe!" He stomps to Keleawe, the bronze Type Full and lets him out. Keleawe nudges his shoulder, Guzma praises him for being so smart and understanding.

He leads Keleawe through his exercises, testing the memory discs and noting what memories were troublesome for the young chimera.

"You did a good job, let's get your big brothers." The silver one once more refuses to obey any commands.

"I'm sorry buddy, if you don't listen i can't let you out." Guzma has Keleawe check for Faba before opening the door and sneaking Keleawe in.

"I can give you fifteen minutes and then i have to take Keleawe back to his room." The silver one snorts in contempt but settles down when Keleawe trots into the room. Maybe it was the dna, but this one had a strong pack bond mentality.

"Alright Gula, come on out." Guzma says as he stands by the door, Gula is taller than him almost bigger than life itself.

Gold eyes stare down at him, Guzma pushes down the fear and anxiousness. He breathes and meets Gula's eyes, he reflects him in feeling nothing, like water hiding what lies beneath it. Gula nods and steps out kicking the door shut behind him.

Gula is proficient in adapting to the memory discs. There isn't anything for him to improve on, getting his excercises done quickly. Guzma leads him to the silver one's room.

"You'll only have a few minutes, sorry." Guzma says, the three huddle together and he wonders if it was wrong to create them.

He wonders if what they are doing is wrong.

Guzma leads them back to their rooms, they were more like cells but he called them rooms. It didn't change the fact that they were cells, a cell was a cell.

"Gula..." the chimera looks at him from the slot he left open. "Are we in the wrong?" Silence is his only response, he thinks he knows the answer.

Burnet is like an overbearing older sister. Constantly teasing him or pestering him. Ruffling his hair, slinging an arm over his shoulder, eating with him and telling him she would bring back souvenirs for him whenever she had to go back home.

She brought him a gold watch, he never wore it and she didn't seem to mind. She was kind.

"You should wear your ID properly." Burnet complained as she flipped his badge, Guzma flipped back.

"I like anonymity." They have this conversation a lot, sometimes when she gets to pushy he only calls her by the initial of her name, she calls him Goober back.

Guzma finds Burnet asleep with several textbooks open and an essay half done. He grabs a slip of paper and tears it open, place a strip in each book before closing them. He stacks them up, grabs Burnet's labcoat and tosses it over her and takes her essay to proofread. 

He sets the paper on top of her books and shuts off all the lights but the one on her desk. Munchlax pops out from under the desk.

"Wanna grab a bite?" Munchlax a look at Burnet and nods.

"Munch!" Guzma extends his hand and takes the small pokemon upstairs to grab a later dinner.

"This is gonna be the only time we go for midnight snacks." He tells the pokemon.

_Guzma was wrong of course._

"When is your birthday?" She asks him one day, Guzma thinks about the fact that his parents never reported him missing nor had they stopped him from leaving. He thinks about how Kukui never saw him, and Molayne practically disappeared.

"Don't celebrate it." He says flatly, she seems to understand and doesn't push again. Though one day she sets a cupcake down for dessert when he's grooming Golisopod. She smiles and leaves him be.

"What do you think?" Golisopod passes him the cupcake and promptly uses emergency exit to escape having to eat any. "Coward." Guzma laughs and takes the cupcake with him to the chimera pokemon.

"I brought a treat for you guys." Keleawe nearly takes his fingers off as he gobbles up his share. The silver daintily eats then snorts when he can't clean his snout. Guzma offers a tissue, he glares but wipes his face then shreds the tissue and stomps on it.

"Petty." He moves on and Gula takes exactly half and pointedly eyes him. Guzma sighs but eats the half given to him.

"Happy?" Gula huffs and disappears to the back of his cell.

Wicke tells him when Burnet's birthday is one day. Guzma looks at the stack of books he was carrying for Faba and stares after the chipper woman.

Golisopod looks down at him and shrugs in response.

The next day Guzma is panicking in the kitchen while trying to prepare a cake.

"No Golisopod!!!!" Guzma trips and falls over his pants and cake batter flies through the air. It lands on his head, Golisopod sets down the icing and promptly uses emergency exit.

 _"FACEMELIKEAMANCOWARD!!!!!"_ Guzma shrieks as he lifts the bowl off his head.

Faba presents him with his own labcoat, it ends at his ankles and the sleeves are a lot longer than he had expected. Faba's pride morphs into amusement, Guzma waves his arms around and smack the older man with the sleeves.

"Just for that I'm not going to wear it in front of you!" He declares as he takes off the gift, carefully folding it and making his way to his office.

Faba's laughter can be heard all the way towards his office and Guzma know he can not show Burnet his labcoat until he's grown some more. She would never stop teasing him otherwise.

Lusamine and Wicke would tease him regardless.

He gets another cupcake that he splits with the chimeras.

And two weeks later, he once more panics in the kitchen the night before Burnet's birthday.

It turns out better than last year, Guzma is sure that she doesn't know it's him. Munchlax brings him a piece and then he thinks he might've been ousted. Well, at least he does until Burnet tells him about the cake the chef's made and he realizes he's safe.

"That's good, i have work to do." Burnet waves him off and Guzma heaves a sigh of relief. 

Time passes by both slowly and quickly. Before Guzma knows it, it's been nearly three years. 

He and Burnet had done a lot to help Faba and one day it paid off.

Guzma stared at his first ultra wormhole and felt excited.

"Faba! You did it! President will be excited!" Guzma smiled, Faba grinned at him. His excitement was short lived as a creature emerged from the ultra wormhole.

He experienced terror, so similar to the terror he felt when Tapu Koko had turned to him after defeating all his pokemon and rained down godly judgement on him.

The ultra beast was nothing like a pokemon, it radiated a feeling, or rather negative feeling. It was cold and frightening to be in its presence. It struck fast.

"Faba! Faba help me!" Guzma cried out as the ultra beast wrapped its tentacles around him. Faba was frozen, watching him. Guzma felt helpless.

He grabbed hold of the machine, but it felt useless.

His grip was slipping, he was going to get dragged away. Dragged away and become this thing's next meal. They ate people right?

~~_Would anyone even notice that he was gone? Would Kukui mourn him?_ ~~

There was a second where his heart stopped as his grip slipped, then his pokemon burst out of their pokeballs. They began fighting as hard as they could.

Scyther using fury cutter, air slash and x scissor without discrimination. He stops when Guzma is almost hit.

Spinarak using pin missile and string shot at the same time to help him and try to get the ultra beast to release him.

Pinsir uses a low powered vice grip and clings to Guzma's legs as the ultra beast drags him closer to the ultra wormhole.

And Golisopod, his partner, he hears Guzma crying and sees his tears and rages. He uses liquidation followed up by several brick breaks and a pin missile but the attacks are rebuffed and Guzma feels so cold. He feels pins and needles, and he's so scared.

He despairs.

It was not enough. His Scyther, Spinarak, Golisopod and Pinsir were easily taken down.

There was a metallic clanging sound, then he saw a flash of bronze, suddenly he was free falling. Scyther dove after him, a brilliant light surrounded him and then he landed in the arms of a Scizor.

At the same time another glow surrounds his Spinark and Ariados is clinging to him.

There is a horrible screech of pain, he turns and wishes he hadn't. 

Purple vicor splashes his face, bronze eyes stare at him, unseeing.

Keleawe, his friend in this vast place full of people and pokemon who don't know him aside from a handful, is gone.

Gone protecting Guzma. Protecting Guzma when he wasn't strong enough.

Keleawe was the youngest and weakest and the softest. He would never have made it out into the field and yet he had sensed Guzma's terror and broke free.

His friend was gone.

Gone.

Ruined.

_Destroyed._

Guzma was a heretic.

He _ruins_ everything he touches.

He screams.

And screams.

The ultra beast flees and Guzma feels as if his whole world has shifted. Faba remains frozen and Golisopod urges him to move.

Guzma flees, his pokemon take off after him.

He thought he heard Burnet, but knew it was his imagination, Burnet wasn't supposed to be back yet.

His hair is white.

His hair is _white._ Is all he can think as he stares at his reflection. He grabs fistfuls of his hair as his eyes water. His hair is now the same color as Burnet's.

He weeps as he drops out of view of the mirror.

"What've i done to bring such misery to everyone around me?"

Guzma was seveteen years old when he fled Aether with the death of a chimera on his hands. 

Guzma was such a mess, his mind scrambled and nerves shot. The employee showers hadn't been able to rid him of all purple vicor that stubbornly clung to him. He hadn't turned in a letter of resignation, had simply abandoned his key cards when he had stolen enough supplies to treat himself and his pokemon. 

After making one last round, abandoning his labcoat this time, Guzma came across a small kid, blond haired and green eyed like Lusamine. He had a pokeball in his hands, an eevee at his feet worriedly watching him as he was crying his heart out.

"For Lillie. It's for Lillie." He kept repeating, Guzma felt his heart clench. And even though he felt that he couldn't trust anyone else in the world, this kid was on his own, just like Guzma.

"Hey." The boy flinched hard, glistening green eyes catch sight of him then land on the labcoat that Guzma carelessly tosses aside. The eyes move upwards and he self consciously runs his fingers through his hair, the white had surprised him.

"Your hair's the color of absol's fur." He blurts out, Guzma sighs.

"That's rude, comparing my hair to Absol, the doom bringer." Guzma fingers his white hair, previously black. His status as a heretic, the bad luck that follows him. Huh.

He did bring doom. Guzma looks at the white bracelet on his wrist and feels contempt.

Purity and innocence. Pah!

He brought chaos and destruction everywhere he went. He might as well be the one brining misery for all that they said he did. It would only serve them right.

"Mister?" Guzma glances at the kid, he sees the eevee crouched low to the ground and growling. 

"I'm leaving this place, want me to take you back to the entrance?" The boy shook his head, hair flopping around wildly as he rushed forward and grabbed hold of Guzma's shirt in one hand.

"Take me with you! I need to get stronger and that can't happen here!" He looked desperate, Guzma looked at the eevee that was no longer growling at him, instead it was watching the boy.

"Listen, kid, that's kidnapping..." wait, didn't he decide that _He_ would be the one bringing the chaos. That _He_ would bring destruction instead of having destruction and ruined thrust onto him. Guzma grins and ruffles the boy's hair as he pulls out a pokeball.

"Then we'd best hurry." Green eyes light up and a smile graces the boy's face as Golisopod appears beside them. Golisopod takes one look at Guzma and promptly glomps him. Guzma feels for a moment, as if his breath has been stolen from him. He slumps into the hold and feels relief. He was safe, his pokemon were safe, and he was leaving this hell behind.

Someday he would come back for Gula and his brother, but for now, Guzma had to get away.

Guzma extends his hand, the kid grabs hold and follows him and Golisopod to the water.

"The name's Guzma." The boy gathers Eevee into his arms and sits in front of Guzma as Golisopod swims.

"My name is Gladion and this is Eevee, a pleasure to meet you." Guzma and the kid, Gladion, were going to be in a for a wild ride. Guzma doesn't know how well he could take care of a kid, but he was going to do his damndest to take care of him. He was not going to screw him up the way Lusamine had, turning a blind eye to Faba and his projects.

Guzma takes Gladion and his eevee to Ula'Ula island. It's the only place he can think of where the Guardian Deity won't bother him. He'd go to Poni island but he doesn't want to mess with the island that has no Kahuna or Guardian Deity. People had already gotten furious that the royals had died and shifted the blame onto him. As if Guzma had done the deed when he had been to busy nursing wounds to have possible done anything.

So he chose to error on the side of caution and go to Ula'Ula island. The Kahuna tried to get out of his duties more often than not, ~~_don't think about the bracelet he gave saying he thought you were innocent_~~ , and Tapu Bulu was lazy and would give a warning if he was going to go on a rampage. That was ample time for Guzma to get the kid out of harm's way if the Guardian Deity chose to attack Guzma as well.

"Where are we going?" Guzma glances down to his right, Gladion still has that pokeball in a death grip and he's still carrying Eevee, but his attention is all on Guzma. Guzma looks around, they are on the outskirts of the island, far enough not to be seen by people but close enough to get to the nearest home if he really needed to.

"We're going to set up camp, and figure out what to do next." He pouts, kicks at the ground a little while Golisopod walks beside them.

"I thought adults were supposed to have answers to tough questions." Guzma stops, he remembers Hala sending him off before he was ready to complete his trial, who didn't listen to him. And when Guzma showed up beaten black and blue, with his pokemon in just as bad condition, Hala had the nerve to say it was because of Guzma's questioning faith. Not because he hadn't been ready to complete his trial, which he had passed, unobserved aside from Tapu Koko who had immediately challenged him to battle.

"Adults don't know everything. Never think that they do, and never believe them if they say they know everything. They lie." Guzma says seriously, then after a second he flicks the kid's ear. "And I'm barely seventeen, barely out of brathood myself!" He exclaimed, every bit the offended teenager.

Gladion rubs his ear with chagrined expression as he follows behind Guzma. Guzma looks down at the clothes that kid is wearing and hums to himself, he couldn't leave the kid in these clothes. For one, they were too formal, and for another, they offered no protection from the elements. 

"Alright, after we set up shelter, we gotta get you new clothes." Didn't his parents always buy him clothes a couple sizes too big because he would outgrow them in a few months anyway? How big should he get the clothes? He needed to buy a new hoodie too, he hasn't worn one since-

"But first, I'm going to show you how to make a camp and a fire." Gladion pays close attention to directions that Guzma gives him. Asking questions about this or that, like what if he couldn't find any dry wood to start a fire.

"First of all, you need to know that you can burn wet wood but it is dangerous for your health. So you need to strip away as much of the wet wood as possible and then you can start a fire with that." Gladion nods, eyes focused on Guzma, listening intently to his every word. It was kinda cute.

Guzma has money from working at Aether. He doesn't want to touch it, but he wasn't going to punish this kid for his mistakes. So he steeled himself and left his pokemon with the kid while he went alone to buy clothes and supplies for them.

It was fairly quiet, people stared at his hair, but not because he was 'Guzma the Heretic' and that was just fine by him. He could fly under the radar until they realized he was here. Until then, Guzma would try to live as quietly as he could, at least until he and the kid were back on their feet.

As he is making his way back to the outskirts of town, he sees the young girl that had been with Kahuna Nanu. She sees him and smiles.

That might be the first time that someone has smiled at him and meant it. Aside from the people at Aether. Guzma pretends that he didn't see her and continues to keep his head down.

Guzma sets down clothes for Gladion to change into. Some pants, a t shirt and a black hoodie. He changes while Guzma checks on his pokemon, making sure that they were all okay after that thing, ultra beast, had attacked them.

"These clothes are too big." Gladion whines, hands up in the air to show that the sleevescovered his hands completely with excess length. He waved his hands, sleeves flopping through the air as he pouted.

"It's so that you can grow into them. Trust me when i say that you'll be thanking me for it in a few weeks. Brats grow like weeds, i can't tell you how many times I grew out of my uniform until i just gave up and got a few sizes too big." Guzma remembers growing out of his clothes on numerous occasions. Always exposing his ankles, shirts fitting too tightly or rising up to expose his belly.

Faba sighing in exasperation and simply telling him to get his clothes a few sizes too big because he would outgrow them in a week anyways. Faba pressing his clipboard to Guzma's head at his baggy pants and giving him a pair of rubber bands while chiding him about appearances.

~~_Guzma resolutely forces back the thoughts of Faba's fond smile when he presented Guzma with his very own labcoat._ ~~

He remembers his parents always doing the same which lead to him ending up with baggy clothes all the time.

"Mm'kay." He huffs, arms crossing but the abrupt shift ended with a sleeve slapping him in the face. His stunned expression was spectacular and Guzma laughed.

He laughed for the _first_ time in a _long_ time and actually meant it. Not even Burnet could make him laugh.

His hands curled around his belly, aching from the laughter while Gladion yelled and flapped his sleeves. 

Golisopod, Ariados, Pinsir and Scizor stare at him, all of them look relieved.

Guzma wipes a tear from his eye, and ruffles Gladion's hair.

"Thanks kid, it's..." Guzma thinks about the hardships he's endured the past few years. "It's been a long time since i last laughed." He can see sorrow in those green eyes, he hadn't meant to make the kid sad. Arms wrap around his waist.

He stiffens, hands up as his heart beats rapidly, until a small head burrows into his hip, and then he relaxes.

* * *

"That's sad. You can laugh at me again." Gladion feels sad, how lonely must Guzma be to have not laughed in a long time? Was it like him and Lillie? Locked up in Aether with mother and left alone with only each other and the pokemon in the paradise.

Gladion knows that Lillie will be lonely, and he regrets that but he wasn't going to let mother push them aside completely. He was going to get stronger to protect Lillie and take her away from mother. He hopes she can wait for him.

"Easy brat, i won't laugh at you..." a hand settles on his head. "We can laugh together next time." His voice sounds rough, like mother's did when father's birthday passed after he disappeared. 

Guzma was sad and lonely. Gladion was also sad and lonely. And Lillie was sad, lonely and scared. They could be a family, no, they were family. Mother said that Aether was their family. So Guzma was also part of the family.

* * *

Guzma looks up at the trees, the wind blows gently through the leaves. It's quiet, peaceful. His hair briefly tickles his nose and he brushes it back with a hand, his heart squeezes as pulls his hood on. He should change, he didn't want anything to do with Aether anymore.

He wasn't going to let adults have any say in what he did with his life. They all made things so much worse for him.

Guzma froze, hiding Gladion behind him as he spotted Nanu sitting on a rock with his back to them. Guzma doesn't move, keeps his hand outstretched to make sure the kid didn't move from behind him.

"There's a place you can call home if you want it to be." Nanu says, he's petting a meowth on his lap, Guzma wants nothing to do with an offer like this. 

"What do you want in return?" He growls, nothing in life was free, and it always cost him for reaching out to accept help. 

"I don't want to make decisions for you, and i don't want to you to think I'm doing this out of pity or something like that. The thing is, Kahuna Hala failed you. And I'm not going to let that stand." Nanu rises to his feet and walks a few steps, turning to glance at Guzma over his shoulder.

"That being said, the people here won't be bothering you for staying. As long as you choose to reside here, they can't touch you." He walks off with that and Guzma tugs his hood further down, Scizor walks past him and picks something up from the floor. 

A law book, a paper with an address, a deed for the property and a how to guide for taking care of kids. Guzma hugs the books to his chest, he looks down to Gladion who stares at him in confusion.

"I'm going to look the place over, you stay here with the others. Stay hidden okay?" Gladion nods, fidgeting with his rolled up sleeves.

Guzma takes Ariados with him, the other pokemon remain behind to look after Gladion. His glances back once, Gladion is surrounded by pokemon, clutching onto that pokeball as he watches Guzma leave.

It's lonely, and he's only known the kid for a day at least.

The two of them had set up a routine. Gladion wasn't very good about eating, and that was scary, but he was a good kid. He carried so much guilt on his shoulders, Guzma did what he could to help but he was out of his depth.

He didn't have the best mentality to help this kid, but he wasn't going to let him get as messed up as Guzma was.

One morning the kid finally stopped playing with the pokeball he had never let out of his sight. Guzma's fear and panic skyrocketed before he could even think. He was throwing himself over the kid, tucking him completely underneath him as the silver type Full roared.

His back _burned._ He grunted but didn't dare move and focused on calming down, talons squeezed his shoulder but he didn't dare scream or whimper.

"Easy, easy, you need to calm down, he can sense your fear." Gladion is crying and apologizing, Guzma's hearing is fading but he continues to whisper to Gladion to try and calm him down. The weight on his back vanishes and Golisopod is worriedly chirping, he hands Guzma a pokeball.

"Why do you have Type Full?" The world fades to black as Gladion cries out.

Gladion is still crying, Kahuna Nanu is here with Gladion. Guzma moves faster than he anticipated when he grabbed the kid and hid him from sight. He nearly blacked out, he could hear his pokemon and Gladion panics.

"Easy, I'm just going to take a look." He shushes Guzma, he doesn't trust him one bit. Not when trust has lead to him being cast out and punished for everything under the sun. Not when it lead to the death of his friend.

"No! Don't!" Gladion cries into his neck. Gladion's frightened right now, Guzma has to find someway to reassure him. He thinks about the consequences of accepting and not accepting help, the young girl from the market place steps forward.

"Don't get any closer!" He snarls, she freezes and Guzma can see the edges of his vision turning gray. He didn't have a choice.

He sees meowth walking closer.

"Meowth will take a look, and if it is as bad as it seems, i need your permission to help you." His pokemon barely tolerate it, Guzma looks down when Gladion tugs on his sweater.

"You're hurt really bad." Guzma doesn't want to see fear on this kids face. He reluctantly allows the man closer, his hearing fades but the man continues to speak. He slowly edges closer, taking his time, always looking him in the eyes, it's slow and Gladion anxiously presses closer but Guzma doesn't want someone he doesn't know or trust anywhere near this kid. He moves Gladion further out of sight even when it pains him.

"I'm going to open this kit---will reach in and pull---bandages." Sounds garbled when he tries to focus, Guzma glances over and catches sight of Pinsir the world fades away and Gladion's small hands push at him.

There's pain, it burns, he can't help but cry out. He hears Golisopod's angry rant, Pinsir vibrates angrily and looks to his side to find Gladion missing. He pushes himself up, the world spins out of control and he feels nauseous and cold.

"Leave the kid, now." Guzma doesn't know if he manages to say what he wants to, but he glares in Kahuna Nanu's direction. Gladion's released, Guzma's reaching for him before he knows it. Gladion hugs his arm and he no longer feels panic.

"Golisopod won't hurt him. Golisopod... Golisopod's..." 

Guzma feels hot, Golisopod strokes his hair and chirps softly. Almost like a song. There's a small hand on his forehead, he can hear whispers. Guzma struggles to open his eyes, he barely manages prying one open. Gladion smiles, its small and wobbly like he just might cry. Guzma taps a finger on Golisopod, Gladion is brought up and tucked under Guzma. He wraps his arm and the kid and rests his hand on his hair.

"Shhh. Shhh." He slurs as something wet is set on his forehead. He sighs in relief at the cool feeling.

Guzma doesn't really remember the next few days, Gladion cries a lot, Golisopod refuses to let him go even to bathe but that's how it used to be so he doesn't mind. He thinks Kahuna Nanu was there and the little girl, but it's all a blur.

Guzma feels relief when he wakes up and doesn't feel like shit. Gladion looks relieved to see him awake as well, hugging him as tightly as he dared. Guzma sits him down and holds out his hand, Gladion instantly passes him the pokeball.

"This one is a stubborn one. Type Full are sensitive to emotion, to intent, you and I were not in the right head space for you to call this one out." Gladion nods, biting his lip.

"He helped us, i thought if i could get stronger with him i could come back for Lillie." Guzma looks at Ariados settled comfortably on the ceiling on a web, then to Pinsir standing guard by the door, and Scizor beside the door.

"I'll teach you how to train with Type Full, but you can not take him out unless i give you permission. And Golisopod and Scizor have to beside you." Gladion nods, Guzma looks at the pokeball in his hand.

"This one has a temper, and doesn't listen like its brothers Gula and Keleawe did." It stings to say those names, knowing he had abandoned one and the other died for him.

Gladion sets his hand over Guzma's.

"Faba punished him." Guzma inhales sharply at that. He climbs off Golisopod, moving Gladion behind him and calling out the silver type Full. "He called him Type Null." Guzma looks at the chimera pokemon, his grief nearly coming to the surface, Golisopod stands beside him as the pokeball falls to the ground.

"What did he do to you?" His voice cracks as he steps closer. The chimera growls when he raises his hands, he freezes and lowers them. "I'm so sorry." The chimera rears back Scizor and Golisopod slam him down.

"Don't, he's angry!" They step back, the chimera snorts, scratching at the mask, silver eyes lock onto his. "Did he do the same to Gula?" He nods, tipping his head to the side, Guzma touches the metal mask fitted to him and can see that it was welded together in such a way that it would be impossible to break off with anything they have on hand.

"We'll find a way to get it off." Gladion tugs on his pants.

"You called the other ones gold and bronze why don't you call this one?" Guzma rests his hand on Gladion's head.

"I can't give a name to someone i don't have a bond to, that would be chaining him. Maybe you can name him when you've bonded." Gladion nods, the silver chimera sits and rests his head on his talons.

Every day Guzma would teach Gladion meditation. And every night Gladion would try to get closer to the chimera pokemon. They ate, Guzma talked about pokemon and strategies. Gladion listened and asked questions, he never asked about Guzma, and he was thankful for that.

It was difficult for them, but Guzma made it work in this big empty place. He took Gladion around to meet the pokemon and study then. Mostly ghost and bug types, including the Meowth that Kahuna Nanu left to watch them.

He even leaves a few times to look for jobs, wanting to use as little of the money from Aether as possible. He mostly worked one or two days around various places before people began to get leery of him.

And then one morning a girl knocks on the door, sees him and punches him in the face. Guzma goes down, Golisopod has the girl in his appendages and Gladion is scared his eevee fluffed up as it growls.

"Golisopod." Guzma pats his buddy and he reluctantly releases him.

"You idiot! I thought you died! You disappeared for three years!" Guzma stares at her but he hasn't got a single clue who she is.

"Who are you?" She sighs, shaking her head.

"I'm Plumeria, i gave you coffee when you stood in the rain like a dumbass." He vaguely remembers someone running in the rain.

"Sorry, i don't remember a few months from that time." She no longer looks furious, she looks sad.

"They really messed you up, huh?" She says, Guzma looks at the sundress and sandals she's wearing and thinks that she might not want to go back home either.

"You're in the same boat, aren't you?" She nods, Guzma sighs and looks behind him to see Gladion hugging eevee. "What do you think brat? Let her stay with us?" Gladion shuffles his feet and looks down at eevee.

"Mmhm." Guzma looks over at Plumeria and steps back, she steps in and looks around curiosily. Her yellow eyes narrow when she sees a Masquerain flutter downstairs towards them. Guzma and Gladion had nursed that one back to health and now it followed them around.

"There are a lot of ghost and bug pokemon around here." She shrugs, but she stares at the pokemon as if she had never been near one before. 

Since she only had the clothes on her back and refused to be seen in public, Guzma gave her some of his clothes to wear. And a beanie he had bought for Gladion. Together the both of them head into town to buy her some clothes and work a few jobs for money. The first thing she buys for herself is a pokeball. Guzma doesn't say anything and simply leaves her be as they make their way back to the house just before dark.

"There's a pokemon I'm helping Gladion bond with, a chimera created by Aether, you should stay out of the room." Guzma tells her, she sneers at him and he shrugs.

"Just a warning." She glares and moves to the wall on the furthest side of the room where she is beside Pinsir and watches as Guzma.

"Deep breaths, we're going to try again today." Guzma coaches Gladion into light meditation as he calls out the silver chimera, it takes one look at Plumeria and rounds on him. Guzma wastes no time and throws Gladion at her, his hands trapped in talons as he's pinned to the floor.

"Don't Golisopod!" Golisopod skids to a stop, chattering angrily and calling him all kinds of stupid, at least when he isn't insulting the chimera. 

"What the fuck?!" Guzma peers over his shoulder, Gladion is pressed to Plumeria's chest, his arm bleeding as she holds her shirt over it. Guzma glares up at the chimera, flipping over and slamming his heels straight into the chimera's snout.

"You don't hurt the innocent! You have every right to be angry but the brat never did you wrong!" His arms creak but he doesn't stop glaring, he's released and Golisopod picks him up with a hiss.

"You don't get to take your anger out on him." The chimera looks him in the eyes, it tosses its head and trots over to the corner. Guzma knocks his heel into Golisopod and is set down.

"Hurry up and get out, Pinsir don't let him out." Guzma hurries the two out of the room and towards the room he turned into a medical room. Gladion is whimpering, silent tears running down his face but he doesn't complain. Plumeria glares at him the whole time he spends disinfecting and bandaging his wound.

"Silvally." Gladion says, he scrubs his face and meets Guzma's eyes. "His name is Silvally." Eevee bursts into the room calling out to Gladion in worry.

"Easy, he's fine." The eevee growls at him, insulting him, his intelligence, his ancestry, and his hair. He whistles. "Those are some insults there missy." Gladion tugs on his sleeve, Guzma glances at him, Plumeria watches him with narrowed eyes.

"How do you know what eevee's saying?" Guzma freezes. He _understood_ eevee. He knows that he can sort of understand bug pokemon because of his bond with his pokemon and speaking with them all the time, enough to understand a bit of the bug pokemon dialect. But he's noticed it was easier to understand, as if he could almost hear them instead of mentally translating.

"I can... i can understand you..." when could he understand. He feels cold, arms wrap around him as he feels like he is suffocating.

* * *

Gladion drops down onto the floor as Guzma begins to breathe too fast. His face is pale and he's shaking, Plumeria grabs hold of him and rubs his back as Golisopod grabs hold of Guzma and hugs him tightly while crooning in his ears.

"What did it to me?! What did it do?! What did it do to me?!" He repeated over and over, getting more and more hysterical. 

Gladion remembers how scared Guzma was when Gladion hugged him, Gladion was small and not a threat but Guzma had been scared. He struggled to get away from Plumeria.

"Let me down, let me down!" She let him go and held his hands up to Golisopod, Golisopod scooped him up and Gladion wrapped his arms around Guzma. It was almost like Lillie crying about being unable to touch pokemon. He hadn't been able to do anything aside from hug her once before he left, but he could help Guzma now.

"What did it do to me?!" Gladion jumps when other arms wrap around him, Plumeria scowls, but it's not scary, its worry.

"Pull it together, you have a kid here. You need to be the grown up." It takes a few minutes but Guzma calms down and apologizes. Plumeria takes a look at his arms, they're bruising badly, but Guzma says to save the supplies. 

"Lets go to bed after you shower." He says tiredly, Gladion thinks about how Guzma had said a lot of scary things when he was sick, and how he knew about type Null when it had a different name. He thinks Guzma was hurt working for mother and that was why he ran away.

Gladion meets Kahuna Nanu properly the next morning when Guzma sleeps instead of waking up to teach him more meditation. Gladion smiles and waves at him, Plumeria pushes him inside with a warning look.

"Guzma doesn't hurt him." She growls and he realizes that it does look like Guzma had hurt him, but he know Guzma would never.

"I know. Try to keep the danger to a minimum, and if you need to go to the hospital, have Meowth come get me." Kahuna Nanu tosses her a hair tie with a skull on it and says, "Acerola said you're welcome to her library." And then leaves after having brought them supplies.

Gladion knows that Guzma says not to trust adults, but he thinks Kahuna Nanu is a good person. Plumeria doesn't trust him either, she looks through the stuff he brought and huffs before asking him to help put stuff away.

"Are you going to catch a pokemon?" Gladion asks when she gives him a few berries for breakfast, he puts them back when she isn't looking. ~~_He shouldn't be eating when Lillie is suffering._~~

"Yeah, if i can. Mother never let me near pokemon, she wanted to spite father." She mutters a curse under her breath, Gladion looks down at his friend eevee and wonders if she followed him because she wanted to be his partner.

"Should i catch eevee then?" Plumeria looks at him and kneels down.

"You don't have to, you and eevee need to work that out yourselves. I want to have a pokemon who will be my friend and be able to protect me from my parents trying to control my life." Gladion looks down and nods.

The rest of the afternoon Gladion follows Plumeria as she speaks with the pokemon around the house. A Gengar plays a few tricks on her but she gets up each time, she doesn't cry or complain, Gladion really admires her for it. Gengar did to as by the time Guzma finds them he is taking her pokeball and catching himself.

"Congrats, brat you haven't eaten all day have you?" Gladion doesn't meet his gaze and Plumeria looks surprised. He sighs and beckons him over, crouching down to meet his eyes.

"We talked about this. We're a team, i watch your back and you watch mine." Gladion knows, but he doesn't deserve Guzma's kindness when it was his fault Lillie was afraid of pokemon. He had gotten so tired of mother never being home that he took Lillie to Aether and then they got lost, and soon Lillie ended up lost and away from him. All because he was selfish.

"Chin up, we're taking it one day at a time." Gladion nods and makes his way to him, accepting the juice passed to him.

"He skips meals so we need to make sure he eats." He tells Plumeria, she nods and apologetically ruffles his hair.

"I'll do better kid." She pinches his nose briefly and ushers him out of the hall.

Sometimed Guzma leaves the island to work on other islands and comes home a few days later with a new sibling for them.

Gladion gets used to meeting someone new every few days. Sometimes the siblings brought over aren't boys even though they look like boys. And some of the girls aren't girls either but he is happy with family so he calls them sibling until they tell him if they are his new sister or brother.

And then sometimes Guzma and Plumeria don't let him see who they bring home. They tell him it's because they are sick, the others seem to understand but Gladion thinks he is missing something.

Silvally seems to understand as he faces the direction his new siblings stay and growls contemptuously. Guzma usually doesn't let him train with Silvally on those days.

He can usually read a book that Meowth brings by every few days. Or sit with one of his new siblings and learn about pokemon from Guzma.

Plumeria takes care of his new siblings that don't feel comfortable with themselves. It confuses him, but he does what he can to help them feel better, and if wearing a dress or cutting their hair short makes them feel more at home then Gladion won't complain.

"What's genderfluid?" Gladion asks Plumeria one morning when she and Guzma start to cook breakfast. Plumeria frowns softly.

"Its when some days you feel like a boy and other days you feel like a girl. But you aren't really either a boy or a girl." That was confusing.

"You'll understand when you're a little bit older." Plumeria squishes his nose, he squeaks and shoves at her until she lets go. He rubs his nose and moves as far away from her as she can.

"Alright brat, call everyone down for breakfast." Gladion nods.

Gladion was washing the dishes when Guzma came in with more supplies he had a white bracelet on his wrist. It looked metal, he was taking off the other white bracelet and tucking it into his pocket.

"We're going to go out and see about helping the others catch their first pokemon or second. I'll dry the dishes so hurry up." Gladion nods and wonders again if he should catch eevee, she didn't seem to really care if he did or not.

Guzma ruffles his hair as if he knew what he was thinking. Gladion runs to his room, eevee is already by the door when he opens the door.

"Eevee, do you want me to catch you?" Eevee yips, putting her paws on his shins with a sparkle in her eyes. "I'm glad!" Gladion picks up eevee and hugs her tightly as he can without accidentally hurting her. 

"Eevee's gonna let you catch her?" Gladion nods, Plumeria ruffles his hair and tosses him a pokeball. "Well go on." She smiles softly when eevee smacks a paw onto the pokeball and catches herself.

Gladion is in the library, Guzma didn't really let him out in case Mother was looking for him but after awhile he told Gladion she wasn't looking. He kind of thought that himself. Mother had been absorbed by work lately, she hadn't been able to spend time with them as much as she used to. He won't say he wasn't disappointed, he was. He just felt guiltier because now Lillie would be completely alone.

That being said, he still covered up most of his noticeable features. The girl still seemed to instantly know who he was.

The girl, leads him around and soon he finds himself carrying so many books.

"Brat!" Gladion feels relieved, he really didn't think he'd be able to carry all these books home.

"I thought i said only a few books?" Gladion shrugs, he sighs but takes the books. Gladion watches her look at Guzma with a critical eye before she smiles.

"You look better." She beams and sets a box onto the counter. "I have a present for you too!" She chirps, and then Guzma is holding a black bracelet that matches his white one.

Gladion wonders about the name Team Skull. It sounds a bit ominous and cheesy at the same time. But if it makes him happy, and the others, Gladion won't mind. 

Kahuna Nanu gives Guzma a book and that's that.

Gladion and Guzma make their way home with the books and then Guzma starts teaching them about more than just pokemon.

They begin to go to the library almost daily, where Kahuna Nanu teaches them somethings. Well, he does until Guzma takes over.

One afternoon, the girl came over and introduced herself and her Mimikyu as Acerola and Mimikins. And Guzma urged him to goof off, to play and relax. It was strange.

Shouldn't he focus on getting stronger?

"If you focus on only getting stronger, you'll miss out on other things in life. And you won't be able to understand other people." Guzma ruffles his hair and pushes him to Acerola.

"A battle between trainers is not just a battle. Its a clash of wills. An exchange of hearts. The more you pour yourself into the battle, the more you are able to learn who your opponent really is. Its how you come to learn **Who** you are. You can't do any of that if you only focus on strength, it about balance." Gladion nods and follows after Acerola.

And if Guzma lets everyone goof off more during lessons, well Gladion chalks it up to him finally trusting Kahuna Nanu.

* * *

Guzma is woken up by Eevee howling outside his door. His first thought is Silvally, his second is intruders. He never anticipated illness.

Gladion's face was bright red, he was coughing weakly and he wouldn't wake up. Guzma knows he was sluggish all of yesterday but he hadn't thought it was illness.

"Hey, come on." Gladion doesn't react, Guzma bundles him into his sweater and runs down the hall.

"WAKEUP!!!" He screams as he flies down the stairs, several teens in various states of undress peer down at him.

"I'm taking Gladion to the hospital, look after each other. Someone call Nanu!" Guzma is out the door before anyone can respond, Eevee runs at his heels and Golisopod returns himself to stay at Guzma's side.

Guzma already has a reputation, it's not good. He hasn't been called a heretic yet, seems people still haven't caught onto his new looks. But the reputation he made for himself almost gets him barred from the hospital.

"Listen lady, i got a sick kid! I ain't going anywhere until someone sees him!" He practically snarls and she finally takes a look at Gladion flushed and sweating as he coughs weakly.

They take Gladion away from him and he almost punches a doctor but Nanu is there and Guzma can only sit and wonder how badly he messed up. 

"This wasn't your fault." Nanu days resting his hand on Guzma's back. Guzma knows that but he can't help how he feels. Nanu stays with him the whole time, when he gets to visit Gladion in the ICU and when he has to leave.

Nanu is there the whole time.

Plumeria comes and goes, sometimes one of the others come by to show him their new looks and he compliments his foul brothers and sisters. They glow from the compliments and ask after Gladion. He was the baby of their group and it was hard on them all.

Gladion spends almost eleven days in the hospital, four in the ICU and the rest in a hospital room to himself. They almost don't release him to Guzma but Nanu helps him out.

"Next time you feel bad, let me know." Guzma says hugging Gladion close, Gladion apologizes and Guzma feels bad.

"Don't apologize for this. It wasn't your fault, none of it. Just..." he can remember how frail he looked and it scared him. "Just let me know." He nods, Guzma looks over at the doctor who no longer looks so disapproving.

"You'll need to monitor him for the next few days and make sure he continues to take his medications. His immune system is weak and will take time to recover, even though it might never fully recover. So keep a close eye on him." Guzma nods and thanks the doctor, Nanu walks them home.

Guzma stumbles across a midnight Lycanroc dying. She had barely given birth and was already fading.

"Masquerain i need you to find Nanu and bring him here." Guzma sits down beside the Lycanroc and softly tells her she did a good job he hears footsteps behind him, the familiar gait the only reason he didn't tense.

"Oh." Guzma looks up, Nanu sighs and crouches down. "We'll take good care of the pups, Alola welcomes you home." Nanu speaks softly as he goes over the Lycanroc's last rites.

Guzma offers his sweater for the eggs and takes them home while Nanu takes care of the Lycanroc. 

"Babies." Gladion looks excited when Guzma walks in, Guzma thinks about his upcoming birthday. He should speak with Nanu.

"These will stay in my room, no one is to disturb them." He orders sternly, he hears several people answer him back and nods.

Guzma doesn't know if he regrets giving him a rockruff. But when he is woken up by a dog chewing his hair, he feels a hint of regret.

"Gladion!!!!! Get your damn mutt!!" Guzma sounds like an old man.

He was almost nineteen, man he felt old.

Time passes by and Guzma was able to return to Aether and free a few pokemon at a time. Promising to return for Gula when he could. Sometimes Gladion acccompanied him in search of something. His eevee evolved into an Umbreon one night and they returned home to celebrate.

Gladion asks him about the trials and Guzma gives him an unbiased opinion about them. He then sends him to Nanu to learn about what he should do to get a trial.

Gladion comes back after having taken his trial with the totem pokemon and says that he won't get his grand trial until he is prepared to face Nanu.

"I'm going to Akala island for my next trial." Guzma has a few other accompany him. No way was he letting a twelve year old go unaccompanied to another island.

He was destructive not stupid. No way in Hala's ring would he ever let his family go off on their own without some form of back up. Too many crazies out there.

"If you're all delinquents now...." Gladion starts from his spot at the table, everyone refusing to leave him alone until he finished eating. "Why don't you have tattoos?" Guzma inhales sharply. 

"You're onto something." He tries to think about what kind of tattoos they can get that won't be permanent. "No one is getting any real tattoos, they ruin your doorway to opportunity. But we can have fake tattoos." He can see excitement spread across everyone's faces and Guzma laughs to himself. He can't wait to show the tattoos off to Nanu. He was gonna lose it!

"You know Nanu's birthday is coming up, right?" Guzma chortles to himself at Acerola's declaration. 

"Perfect! Alani! Draw us up some tattoo designs!" Alani grins and shyly pulls out her sketch book. Plumeria smiles softly, Guzma thinks they did good taking the kids who didn't fit in. If not then Alani wouldn't be who she was today, an accomplished artist with long pink hair and the ability to choose what she wears.

Guzma checks on Gladion to see that he had finished and lightly raps his knuckles on the table. Several people absently copy him, and Tupp curses when he failed to follow through.

"Too bad, better luck next time." Tupp sighs and goes to wash the dishes.

Gengar wakes him up one morning and Guzma grins.

"My foulest brothers and sisters! Today's the day!" He can hear everyone rolling out of bed, falling out of hammacks or running into the walls.

"Its five in the morning." Guzma feels no remorse, Plumeria groans but makes her way downstairs. Gladion stumbles sleepily into him, Guzma tosses him over his shoulder and makes his way down. 

"Noooooo." Guzma laughs at the long monotone, Gladion is fast asleep by the time he sets him down at the table.

He and Plumeria cook, and start making the cake. Gladion refuses to eat until they sit down too, the sneaky runt.

"Fine, fine. You better clear that plate!" He salutes sarcastically and Guzma wonders if this is what they call teenage rebellion.

Guzma was almost tempted to give Gladion a fake tattoo too, but changed his mind last minute and told him he could get when when he was fourteen. 

Guzma easily made money that day. He made sure to set the money into the house fund though, no point in keeping it for himself. 

Guzma wonders how Hala could miss seeing him. How had Nanu seen him when no one else did? Maybe he'll ask him one day.

Maybe not.

Gladion was all grown up. He was ready to go back home, Guzma gave him a lift on Golisopod for old time's sake.

"Let me know if you need anything. Tupp, Zipp and Rapp are already on the island so check in with them. They can get you a room at a motel." Gladion nods and waves him off. Guzma wonders what he'll find back home.

"And that's all there is to it. Not that interesting at all, now get to bed you damn brats!" Guzma shouts throwing blankets towards the brats lying on the floor staring up at him. Ash laughs and struggles to get out of the blanket, Gladion is already rolled up in it, Lillie fights with the blanket and ends up smacking straight into Ash.

"You have a wedding tomorrow. Go! To! Bed!" Guzma punctuates each word with a pillow. The kids finally quiet down and he lies back onto Golisopod. 

"Thanks for the story Anakala." Guzma waves a hand, silently wondering if he should go to the wedding.

"I think you should go." Guzma tilts his head, Ash is lying on top of Lycanroc, petting him and looking at the floor. "You still care about them." He pauses, glancing up at him for a second then looks down.

"I don't know kid, I've chosen the path i walk on. I decide where i go next, recovery is different for everyone." It's quiet for a few minutes. "Beside Kukui still pisses me off." Someone snickers.

Guzma folds his arms under his head and thinks about how much he has changed. Who knows, maybe he's changed enough.

Tomorrow was a new day, a new him. He'll just have to see who greets him in the mirror.


	29. Constructed Of Hope And Stardust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: namine's theme- lizz robbinett  
> GLADION'S PLAYLIST:  
> Get lucky- daft punk  
> Shape of you- ed sheeran  
> Can you feel the love - lion king  
> Have you ever really loved a woman - bryan adams  
> Finding you- Kesha  
> Brave enough to love you - Lindsey Sterling ft. Christina Perri  
> I found- amber run  
> Love me like you do- Ellie Goulding  
> Drunk in love - Beyoncé  
> Learn to dance -Andrew McMahon  
> I choose you- Sara Bareilles  
> Listen to your heart- cascade

Ash feels that he is finally ready to take on his next island challenge. 

Well, not ready, ready. But now is as good a time as any. He was okay with trying to touch other people now, and he didn't always scream himself awake. And he wanted to try asking for a trial for once.

"The island Kahuna of Ula'Ula?" Kukui-hakase pauses for a second. "Mm, you've met him before, Officer Nanu." Ash thinks about the officer that had done his interview. So that's why everyone looked at him like that.

"Did you want someone to go with you?" Ash thinks about it, and then decides.

"Anakala can come with me!" Kukui-hakase looks confused but doesn't question him. Instead he helps Ash pack for a few days, more as a just in case and makes him promise to check in every few hours.

Gladion and Lillie are the ones to see him off at the port. 

"Remember, you can find Kahuna Nanu in the police station, he and Officer Nanu are one and the same, don't let him fool you." Ash nods, he wonders why he would be fooled but heeds Gladion's words.

"Good luck Ash!" Ash thanks Lillie and boards the boat, he makes sure to keep his distance from any of the other passengers and heads to the bow of the ship.

"Alright, last minute training!" Ash drops down to the floor and starts doing push ups, his pokemon joining him one by one. Rotom is going over the information on the variant typing and quizzing Ash.

Ash meets Officer Nanu just as he is leaving the police office.

"Morning Officer Nanu, Gladion and Kukui-hakase said you were also the Kahuna. Mm, but you only introduced yourself as Officer." Ash mutters to himself as he remembers the looks everyone shot the man before he had left Ash's room.

Nanu looks at his pokemon with raised brows and Ash absently remembers that people usually don't have this many pokemon out and about.

"Those are some pokemon you got there." Ash looks around in confusion, what was he talking about? Oh, maybe it was Rotom!

"Ah, Rotom is just like any other pokemon... kinda. Right?" Ash directs his response to Rotom who gets huffy at him. Mew giggles at them and then Ash thinks this might be what he is talking about.

"Mew's not my pokemon, their my friend." He waves the thought off, at least this Kahuna hadn't invaded his space or had very pointed looks aimed at him.

"Whatever the case, i refuse your challenge." Ash pauses, he hadn't even said he wanted to take his grand trial yet. "I can tell you aren't ready yet." That was rude! Ash had changed, he had!

"What do you mean I'm not ready?" He looked Ash in the eyes, a hand was on his shoulder.

There was static in his ears, he didn't look at all happy as he said something. He was stepping back and Charizard's arms were wrapped around him as he growled. Pikachu was shouting, he didn't understand anything that was being yelled. **Focus. Breathe.**

"Go home kid." He walked away, Rotom stared at him with concern.

"Ash?" Ash doesn't even get to respond before he is covered in a pile of purring Meowths. They paw at him, rubbing against him, one is bathing Ash's face and soothingly murmuring to breathe.

"I'm fine." He lies, none of the pokemon believe him. They usher him into the police station and onto a chair.

Once Ash had calmed down he opted to play with the meowth. Or rather he thinks he played with them but can't confirm when time is missing.

"You okay Ash?" Ash stares blankly at Rotom and adjust his shirt so it no longer hangs from his shoulder and fixes his cap.

"I don't think i knew what i was getting into." He says, somehow these Meowth had completely exhausted him. He wearily slides off the couch and goes about collecting his pokemon.

"It's been at least two hours and Officer Nanu, Kahuna Nanu hasn't come back." Ash huffs and looks up at the awning were Torracat is sleeping with Mew.

"Torracat, Mew, we're going to visit Anakala." Charizard snorts at him, Ash looks down and sees that he has fur everywhere. He sighs, pouting as he shakes himself until some fur falls off.

He runs his hand over his clothes to collect the fur as they walk towards town. Lycanroc freezes, Ash can sense his curiosity and looks at where he stares.

"Is that... no, it's a different Mimikyu." Ash watches as it looks over at Pikachu but it doesn't get angry like Jessie's Mimikyu had. "Hi." Ash says dumbly, the pokemon glances at him and waves before gesturing for him to follow. Ash follows without a thought, his pokemon fall behind him.

"This Mimikyu is different." Rotom says, he takes a picture of it, "Mimikyu, the Disguise Pokemon. A Ghost and Fairy type. It wears a ragged head cover to look like a Pikachu, but little is known about this Pokémon. It's said that a scholar who once tried to look inside met his end." Same entry, nothing had changed but it seemed to be leading Ash somewhere.

"Be careful Ash." Ash smiles at Rotom.

"It'll be fine Rotom." He reassures, Pikachu walks cautiously behind the Mimikyu and Ash can't help but feel that it is lonely. Charizard grumbles irritably when he once more smacks into a low hanging branch.

"Want to just head off to Anakala's place?" Charizard pauses, stooping down to look him in the eyes. He mutters to Pikachu and Bayleef to keep on eye out and signal him if they need to. He takes off to the sky with a strong gust, Ash looks back to Mimikyu just as the costume falls off.

He feels faintly sick but stoops down and passes back the costume, adjusting it when it sits crookedly.

"Sorry about that." The Mimikyu stares at him for a really long time. Pikachu worriedly pokes at him.

"Ash..." Rotom looks serious. "Did you look under Mimikyu's disguise?" Ash thinks about the black abyss, the strange disjointed feeling he feels.

"Nope!" He lies with a smile as he rises to his feet. That abyss wasn't Mimikyu, and he hadn't looked on purpose.

He sees a Salandit on the floor, Mimikyu stops and looks back at him. He makes his way over to the pokemon and sees that it was badly hurt.

"Hey." He whispers, purple eyes slit open, they are wary and sad. "Can i pick you up?" It shuts its eyes looking resigned and he refuses to pick it up without its permission.

"Bayleef aromatherapy please." Bayleef nods and takes his place while he starts looking for oran berries.

"Rotom stay with Bayleef, everyone else look for oran berries." Ash wanders off to search, Mimikyu decides to follow after him. It hisses at him, Ash looks to where it points and finds the berries. He climbs into the tree and nearly falls out when he sees Anakala with a basket.

Almost falling had everything to do with not sensing Anakala, not the disjointed feeling.

"Brat..." Ash waves, and then wonders if he is going to get in trouble when he sighs. "Just help me pick berries until the basket is full and the you can tell my why you're here without your pokemon and without texting me you were going to be here." Ash quickly checked his pocket and then absently prays his phone was in his backpack or Anakala would get really mad.

"So this Mimikyu lead you to this Salandit?" Ash nods as he passes an oran berrie to Bayleef to feed the Salandit.

"I wanted to ask Officer, Kahuna Nana for a trial but he said i wasn't ready and left." Ash leaves out the missing time he had after that because it wasn't missing if he was playing with pokemon.

"Here eat this." Ash takes the oran berrie and takes a bite, a sour taste fills his mouth but Anakala's glare keeps him from spitting out the oran berrie.

"You saw underneath didn't you." Ash doesn't even try to lie and takes another bite while looking over at Salandit, it was looking a little better.

"How do you know when you're ready to take your grand trial?" Ash asks, Hala had given him his grand trial because of Koko, and Lele had interfered to get him a grand trial with Olivia.

"I don't know. I went when i wasn't ready and never finished." Ash hums, he climbs to his feet and makes his way over to Salandit to sit down.

"Can i pick you up now?" It no longer looks wary or resigned and nods to him. He carefully picks it up, a tail rests on his shoulder and Mew comes to rest on his hat.

"Let's drop it off at the pokemon center then." Anakala leads him out of the forest, looking at his phone for something. Ash jumps when his backpack shakes, Rowlet coos in a startled manner and wiggles around. Ash looks over his shoulder when Rowlet sits down, his phone is in his beak. Ash glances at Salandit and shifts so that his knee props up the injured pokemon while he grabs his phone.

"Put it in your pocket and don't forget you have it." Anakala grumbles under his breath and Ash feels relieved that he hadn't left it behind again.

He winces as Anakala raises an eyebrow and pointedly doesn't meet his gaze.

"Do we have to have another talk about your health." Ash drags his feet and mutters no.

"Good, because now we have to talk about self preservation and why you don't follow a random pokemon even when you can sense their intentions." Ash whines, Pikachu is no help as he sits on Anakala's shoulder and nods in agreement.

"Gary already did that." He complains, Anakala flicks him on the forehead.

"And yet here we are, after you followed an unknown pokemon." Ash huffs but can't deny him as he's spoken the truth. 

Ash follows after Anakala eating another Oran berrie. Mew is still in his backpack, has been since they walked into town. He was carrying bags with full restore, max potions, and other first aid supplies.

"Am i finally going to learn what you do?" Anakala cackles, Ash takes that as a no and wonders if he should just ask Jessie and James. They would probably know. "Fine, keep your secrets." He is not sulking.

He isn't! 

Pikachu laughs unhelpfully, Scraggy pats his head consolingly.

"Scraggy is my best bud now." Ash sniffs, Pikachu keels over into Anakala's basket and wheezes. Anakala peers at his basket and smirks, but Ash can tell he is laughing just as hard. Especially because his aura isn't even hiding it right now.

"Hmph!" Ash walks ahead of him, barely, and doesn't bother to hide that.

He may be upset but sticking to Anakala meant safety and he was not going to leave that behind when he could already hear whispers starting back up.

They near the colorful Shady House when Ash feels Tapu Bulu approaching at high speed.

"I'll come by later-" Ash is swept off his feet as Bulu carries him off but not before Ash had rapidly returned his pokemon and gently deposited the bags he was carrying.

He can hear Pikachu shout angrily, Charizard roars and Bulu was in a lot of trouble.

Ash sits in the shade of a tree as Bulu is tag teamed against. Lycanroc plays tag with the others while Charizard and Pikachu work off their anger.

"We could do some training while we wait!" Ash nods and calls out to his pokemon. Torracat and Lycanroc battle against each other while Rowlet and Scraggy face Bayleef.

Ash looks back when Tapu Bulu settles down behind him to sleep. And there Rowlet goes. 

"Rowlet." Ash laughs, Bulu opens a single eye and pats the grass.

"Mm... fine. After this can you help me train?" He nods and Ash shuts his eyes, his pokemon settle around him.

Ash wakes up and it's pouring. He sighs a little to himself and wonders if Anakala will know that he is training in the rain. His phone vibrates

**Don't**

Ash pouts, he stares out at the rain then Bulu and pouts some more. Stupid everyone and their have some self preservation.

Ash has _plenty_ self preservation. 

No one ever died from training in the rain.

Lycanroc howls as he is tossed out into the rain and lands on a puddle. Ash throws himself out of the shelter, skidding into the mud but doesn't hesitate to thread his fingers into Lycanroc's fur and whisper how much he loved him. He pushed his feelings into his hands as Lycanroc tried to buck him off.

Lycanroc's red eyes slowly melt back into a bright green filled with joy and love. Ash laughs as he hugs the happy pokemon. He laughs and laughs as the rest join him and play as if they didn't have a care in the world. **Amusement, joy, peace.**

It didn't matter that Nanu said he wasn't ready. Because Ash knows that he's come a long way from the person that had left Kanto. He's come a long from the person that had gone into the Ultra deep sea.

He was changing everyday for the better. He loved the people and the pokemon in this world far too much to stay as he was. 

Ash looks up, Rowlet is still sleeping on Bulu's horns but the Guardian Deity is ready to train with them.

"Okay Lycanroc! You first!" Ash says flipping his hat backwards as he readies himself.

Ash has barely finished crossing the desert when he meets a girl and her Mimikyu. She looks at him and smiles at him.

"I heard that you wanted to challenge Nanu." Ash nods, and then Rotom takes a picture of her Mimikyu and spazzes out.

"That's because Mimikyu/Mimikins is a ghost." Ash and the girl look at each other in surprise.

"I'm Ash from Pallet Town and these are my partners; Lycanroc, Torracat, Rowlet, Bayleef, Scraggy, Charizard, and Pikachu! And my very good friends Rotom and Mew." The girl's eyes widen in surprise before she gives him a bright smile smile.

"I'm Acerola and this is Mimikins! I'm Guzma's little sister." Ash blinks at her in shock and then looks at his hand for a moment before holding it out.

"Alola cousin!" He laughs as she shakes his hand and he doesn't feel as bad as he had earlier. 

"Why don't you come over to my house for a shower, i have some of Gladion's old clothes that might fit you." Ash looks at his mud covered clothes and thinks to himself that there was no way he would get a trial with the way he looked now. He easily agrees and follows behind her.

"I didn't know Anakala had a sister." Ash pauses and thinks about Plumie. "Aside from Plumie." Acerola winks at him and he can see an actual star. 

"We have the same foster dad. Everyone does." Ash feels as if he has just missed something very important.

Ash washes his pokemon while Acerola puts his clothes in the drier. And that's when he meets Nanu again.

"What the- Acerola!" Ash notices how Nanu makes sure to stay where he is when Ash tenses, Ash makes himself relax and finishes giving Pikachu a bath before he lifts the tub up and walks a short distance away to dump the water out.

"Why is he wearing Gladion's pajamas from last year?" Ash hears Nanu whisper.

"Because his clothes were muddy and he's my cousin now which means you now have a grandkid." Ash glances back just as Nanu chokes. Mew is laughing at him as they float upside above Acerola.

Ash politely ignores it and makes his way to the back to put the bathub away only to be swarmed by more meowth than there had been on the police station.

"I just got clean." He sighs as they rub themsleves over him and purr. Soft whispers of 'mask the scent' are repeated over and over.

Ash simply carries on even as he is scaled like a tree. He would deal with the fur later, he knows from his time in Unova with Meowth that it was an insult to not let them scent mark him. His pokemon weren't very territorial as Meowth had been.

But he learned a lot because of it. He thinks maybe he might be as territorial as a meowth when it comes to his pokemon. Just a little.

Acerola laughs when she sees him and Nanu stares blankly at him.

"How do you like my new clothes!" Ash says brightly as he holds out his arms. The man face palms and walks away, Ash resolutely does not pout. The meowth follow after him and he is free to once more clean himself off.

"I've never seen the meowth crowd someone like that unless they were family." Ash looks up at her and wonders if the Meowth could tell he was family, or were just drawn to his aura.

"Thanks for letting us shower." She smiles and invites him in for a bite to eat. He sits on the couch as she cooks makes a sandwich, he looks at the book left on the table and flips through it. Rotom takes a picture of a strange being above Solgaleo and Lunala. He continues reading through the book before setting it down when his phone vibrates.

**Where are you?**

_I met your sister! She let me take a shower after playing with Tapu Bulu!_

** Did you eat? **

_ I will right now. _

** Good. I'll meet you there. **

Ash puts his phone back in his pocket and accepts the sandwich passed over to him. He and Acerola enjoy a quiet afternoon snack.

Nanu doesn't say anything when he joins them, Ash even manages to stop Pikachu from using his ability static on the Kahuna without him noticing. Somehow he thinks that he should limit Pikachu's time with Anakala because he was so petty sometimes.

"Oi Nanu, Rola!" Ash looks up from the tea he was drinking. He only had a second to grab hold of Mew before he found himself in Anakala's arms when Mew used teleport. Anakala barely caught him too.

"That was rude." Ash tells Mew as he climbs down and makes his way back to his spot while keeping the legendary tucked under his arm.

"Brat, why did you have to take a shower?" Ash sips the last of his tea as if he has nothing to hide. And bolts out the window when he taps his foot on the ground like mama did whenever he tracked mud into the house.

"Oh no you don't!" He hears exclamations and Ash does not look back as he runs up the wall and latches onto the roof, he quickly scales up and runs across the roof.

"Brat!!" Ash knew Anakala was strong, but he didn't know he could keep up with Ash.

"You don't run on people's roofs!" He shouts as he chase Ash. 

"Then don't chase me up them!" Ash shouts back and dives off the roof, rolling to absorb most of his momentum and sprinting when Anakala throws himself off after him. Ash laughs despite being chased.

He hasn't been chased like this in months, and even if it isn't Jessie and James or some angry pokemon doing it, it still feels exhilarating. Which is why he is not telling anyone because Brock had called him an adrenaline junkie and Cilan had told him that he needed therapy.

He does not need _Therapy_ , he was fine thank you very much. Jessie and James were just fine too.

There are arms around his waist and his feet kick at the air for several seconds before he realizes his feet have left the floor and curl up as he turns to glance behind him.

Anakala's face is a little flushed and he's panting a little bit with a dark glower on his face.

"Brat." He says simply as he holds Ash aloft. Ash remains curled up as he looks at him.

"Anakala." He says trying to match his look, he must fail miserably because he starts laughing. Ash crosses his arms over his chest and pouts.

"Mean." He sets Ash down, laughing under his breath. Ash looks down when a Persian rubs against his shin. He picks the feline up and rubs him under the chin and down his back.

"Good kitty." He purrs, rubbing his forehead to Ash's chin. 

"Alright brat, let's go back and get your pokemon. We'll train a little bit before you bother Nanu for a trial. The key is making sure Rola is in the room when you ask." Ash nods as he walks next to him.

Ash and Pikachu are having a blasting fighting Golisopod. He's so strong and fast and loves Anakala so very much! He can see their bond, their strength.

They have a five on five battle and while Ash isn't winning he is also not losing. Anakala pushes them to dig deep.

"Lycanroc accelerock! Rowlet razorleaf! Scraggy focus punch! Pikachu Electro ball! Torracat flame charge!" He calls out, his pokemon comply and then electro ball changes into a net.

"Huh. That's electro web." And then Rotom rattles off what he knows about electro web. Ash catches Pikachu's eyes and grins when he can feel his wave length match Ash's. 

"Electro web ball!!" Ash shouts, arms coming up as he splays them out and watches as Pikachu launches an electro web behind Golisopod, deliberatley missing, uses iron tail to bat electro ball into the web which bounces the ball at terminal velocity into Golisopod's back. 

"Ah..." Ash doesn't get out of the way in time and is slammed into the ground by Golisopod. He rolls to a stop a few feet away and then Golisopod rolls over him before coming to a stop.

"Owwww." He groans as the dust slowly settles down around him.

Ash stays buried in the ground as Anakala laughs so hard he hits the ground.

"See how you like it!" Ash throws Golisopod at him and misses as he's returned to his pokeball. Anakala howls with laughter.

Ash sighs, he really should have seen that coming.

"Alright, i think you've trained enough." Ash looks over to see Plumie sitting on the steps. She stands up and makes her way over to him.

"Let's go get you that grand trial." Ash clenches his fist and nods.

"Right!" 

Ash didn't even get to ask for a grand trial. Acerola told him Nanu was waiting for him already. Acerola gigglea and decides to take him to his grand trial on a Mudsdale.

"One day I'll get to ask for a grand trial." Acerola glances back at him and he can't help but think about how much her smile reminds him of Meowth.

Maybe that's why he is comfortable with her. Either way he doesn't question it and proceeds to get her phone number and email.

"You don't have social media?" She asks as she looks through his phone. It still looks like a brand new phone, untouched aside from having his very large list of contacts. 

"Nope." She says nothing and fiddles with his phone before telling him to smile. He does as do Pikachu, Torracat, and Mew has taken the form of Pikachu to smile. Scraggy leers and Rowlet sleeps.

"I'm posting this. Going to take my grand trial." Ash looks over her shoulder and frowns as she does a bunch of typing for the picture. Then she goes to her phone and does something that makes his phone vibrate.

"And now you have about twenty followers." Ash stares blankly at the phone handed to him.

"I have become the thing i hate most." Pikachu cracks up and then Mew takes his phone and he can't feel sorry about it because the phone has betrayed him.

Well at least he could just leave it be and post nothing after today.

Come to think of it, maybe he could use the phone camera to take pictures instead of the polaroid. It would make it faster to send pictures.

But first Ash would have to take pictures to see what quality of camera his phone has. He takes a picture of Pikachu and pouted at the blur. He fiddles with the settings and takes a picture of Charizard flying beside them. Better, but it could improve some more.

By the time they had reached the place the Bulu had flown them to earlier, Ash had taken thirty pictures of various quality.

"Welcome to the Ruins of Abundance." Ash nods respectfully as he feels the aura saturated into the land.

And then he sees Nanu sitting on the floor with Bulu behind him fast asleep. Rowlet doesn't waste his opportunity and flies over to sleep.

"Challenger, you may only use one pokemon against my three. Do you accept?" Ash blinks as he looks over at all his pokemon, Lycanroc bows down with his tail wagging. Ash grins and holds out his arm.

"You bet! Lycanroc! I choose you!"

Ash looks at his Lycanium z and wonders if the grand trials are about finding yourself, maturing and becoming at peace with the person that you are.

He wonders about growth.

About everything that shows how much he's grown.

Being able to accept head pats from Kukui-hakase.

Sitting near Burnet-hakase and being able to laugh and marvel at the wonders of pokemon.

Battling with Gladion and then falling asleep on him when they watch movies.

Hugging Lillie and helping her and Snowy train to get stronger.

Working his way up to accepting Hau's arm over his shoulders without Raichu being between them.

Sitting in the food truck with Jessie and James while they help him with his math homework even though they are busy with work.

Ash has grown a lot from the day he had first set out on his journey. He's grown a lot from his experience in ~~_Kalos._~~ And he continues to grow with each day.

And tomorrow was a brand new day.

Who knows.

Maybe he might finally be able to hug Burnet-hakase.

* * *

"I choose you." Burnet says, smiling as she points at Kukui, Kukui who had just missed catching her, smiles.

It is soft.

It is 'By the gods i love you, and how did i get so lucky?' Rolled into one as he pulls out a pokeball and flips it. The ball opens and she sees a ring nestled inside. She can feel her cheeks heat up.

"I guess i caught you." He takes a step closer, grabbing her hand and raising it to his chest.

"My heart still beats for you, but it doesn't beat for you alone." Burnet feels her eyes grow wet as she brings his hand to her chest, where it beats to the same music as his.

"It beats for those three kids too, and i will be there every step of the way to help you, help them, be the best that they can be." Burnet tilts her head up, feeling tears course down her cheeks.

"I choose _you,_ I _choose_ us, _I choose them_." Kukui brings her close and holds her in his arms. Burnet has never felt happier than when she is in Kukui's arms.

No.

She is happiest when she and Lillie watch movies.

She is happiest when she and Gladion cook together.

She is happiest when Ash smiles at her, scribbling away in his journal happily as they talk about pokemon.

"We were made for each other, and i won't let this go ever again." He whispers softly, eyes full of love and adoration. Burnet chuckles wetly, as he slips the ring on her finger.

Burnet is on cloud nine when she walks through the doors. The kids are waiting, lined up before her, their arms behind their backs, and gazes drawn to her hand. Her hand, that was being held by Kukui. She gently pulls her hand free and shows them the ring, they break out into wide grins.

"I choose us." She tells them. She can see tears in the corners of their eyes as one by one they bring their arms forward and kneel down on one knee. The floor drops out from beneath her as she looks at these brave, wonderful, beautiful children.

The wondeful children who lived in Kukui's crazy house and showed her how to live in his crazy house where pantries were full of food and cabinets carried even more food. Where the oven is apparently where pots and pans are stored and drawers are where the dishes sit. Where his spice rack sits in a vegetable drawer and fruits sit in the spot for juices.

"I choose you." Gladion says, holding up an apron and a spatula in his palms. Nights of bumping hips, singing to music as they cook, flash through her mind.

"I choose you." Lillie says, holding a set of pajamas just like hers, except these have stars. Nights of watching movies, eating sweets, and painting eachother's nails, flash through her mind.

"I choose you." Ash smiles, he's holding a leather bound journal, similar to the ones he uses when he studies pokemon. She remembers talking about pokemon with him, sitting at a distance as they observe and the beaming smiles he sends her way.

She thought she was done crying.

Burnet runs forward and throws herself at Gladion and Lillie and hugs them tightly as she cries. She beams at Ash, who in his flustered state, threw Pikachu at her face. She laughs as Pikachu simply hugs her, she rubs Pikachu's head.

Her dreams of having a big family, a family of her own, had come true.

Ash watches her with a soft look of fondness, despite their distance, she knows he cares about her. Kukui walks up and kneels down behind her, wrapping his arms around them all.

"I choose us." He whispers thickly, tears clinging to his lashes as he smiles at them.

They sit in a pile on the floor, Ash hugging his pokemon as he laughs. Lillie and Gladion cling to them, and Burnet thinks to herself.

_This is my family._

* * *

Gladion can see the contemplative looks Ash and Lillie wear as they think about the fact that Kukui and Burnet won't be having a wedding. He smiles to himself and grabs his warmest hoodie.

"Guess we've decided then." They nod, and in the cover of the night they plot.

Ash sneakily taking the phone and phoning his mother about the dress before returning to the loft.

Lillie is writing down everything that they are going to do on three separate sheets of paper. Their plan split into three to even the workload and to get done faster.

"One week." They say, putting their hands out. Ash holds out Pikachu, his paw resting on their hands as they nod. Before they can break, Ash manages to put his on on top of Pikachu's with a small grin. 

"I'll be able to touch Burnet-hakase soon." He whispers giddily. Lillie and Gladion smile at his joy.

Once they all have their parts of the plan Gladion slips out through the loft window and scales down the side of the house.

He silent calls out to Silvally and makes his way to the water. He climbs onto Silvally and brings his knees to his chest, and grabs hold of Silvally's head crest. They make the swim to Ula'Ula, when they reach land Gladion hops off and pets Silvally.

"Thank you." Silvally nudges him, making sure that Gladion is dry. Gladion returns him and calls out Lycanroc, they make their way to Shady house. It's new look has grown on him, though the repairs are still underway. Anakala choosing to learn before he worked on some part of the house. Ash secretly planned to get the repairs finished, when they could sufficiently move everyone else where for a few days.

Gladion wished him luck, it was rare that Shady house was empty.

Gladion pulled a key from his hip holster and unlocks the door, locking it before slipping the key back into his holster.

He walks around, taking in the state of disrepair that is his second childhood home. He feels nostalgic, and a little bit happy that his family is healing from the deep scars they've carried for years.

He climbs several stairs, goes down various hallways, and reaches Anakala's open room. Gladion knocks on the wall, smiling as he sees Anakala asleep on top of Golisopod. Splayed out like a staryu, blanket haphazardly covering him.

How many nights did he use to fall asleep on top of Golisopod and Anakala?

Lycanroc whines softly, he knows not to disturb anyone sleeping in Shady house. He can always ask him later. He makes himself comfortable and slowly falls asleep to the familiar sounds of creaking, the sound of trees swaying, Anakala's quiet grumbling.

A blanket is tossed over his shoulders.

He will always call Shady house his home.

The next morning, Gladion is unceremoniously tossed over someone's shoulder and carried downstairs. Gladion sighs, and doesn't fight, he has learned his lesson about declining food.

He's deposited into his designated seat at the table. Everyone calls out their greetings as food is slowly being passed out. Anakala yawns widely, jaw cracking as he covers his mouth.

Gladion yawns, soon after the others do as well and Gladion looks away before he can see someone yawn and ends up back in the cycle.

He slowly makes his way through breakfast under several vigilant eyes. He pays them no mind as they vanish once he completes his meal. He waits until the others have finished as well to call a meeting.

"We're calling a meeting." There is a pause as one by one everyone turns to face him with concern written plain across their faces. Gladion waves his hand.

"Nothing bad. Kukui and Burnet are engaged but they don't want to have a wedding." Gladion grits his teeth and looks away. If they stay engaged forever he will scream. He was tired of this will they wont they thing, they needed to get their acts together. Well, even more together.

He looks up at the sharp whistle.

"Didn't know he had it in him." Gladion isn't sure if Anakala is impressed or annoyed.

"Okay, those other brats probably have plans so let's have them." Gladion pulls out his half and sets it onto the table where everyone briefly scans it before passing it down until it reaches Plumie and Anakala. 

"Not bad, though you might need a few contingencies. Nothing survives the first phase." Gladion nods and the Team comes together while congratulating him. Warmth settles in his chest at all the smiles.

Gladion closes his eyes and listens to the joyful talks and the growing excitement that spreads like wildfire. It makes him happy that everyone is happy.

That people have slowly stopped looking at them with disgust, annoyance and anger. 

That they are finally being accepted instead of rejected and scorned for simply being misfits that didn't fit in.

* * *

Kukui glances at Gladion's empty spot, Ash and Lillie smile innocently at him. He says nothing, just puts away Gladion's portion and then sits down to eat. Ash is making a good effort at eating breakfast, he's glad that the kids are all okay.

For a while, it was almost like when they each had individually moved in with him. Silent, hesitant and guarded.

They were doing alright now.

"Burnet's sleeping in today, we should get going about now." Ash looks up from the toast he was halfheartedly nibbling on. He tossed it without a second thought, Lycanroc leaping up and gobbling it up along with the crumbs while Ash grabbed the plates and hurriedly washed them.

Ash and Lillie were very excited as they talked with the other kids. Pikachu and Snowy happily held in their arms while they gestured to one another. Kukui let them be, it was heartwarming to see how far both kids had come. Ash still didn't let any of them touch him without his consent but he could be within touching distance of them now.

And he could reach out to them too. 

They had come so far and had changed so much. He felt so proud of them. Both looked over their shoulders at him and beamed, he flushed a little at the reminder that they could feel his emotions. He grins sheepishly and rubs the back of his head in response. 

"Don't look!!!!" Kukui jumps back as he is assaulted by pillows and a stray plushie. While Ash and Lillie continue their assault, Gladion is frantically throwing everything off the table and into a box. 

"Whoa! Wait! Kids!" Kukui can hear Burnet laughing as she uses Kukui as a shield. He should have known that Ash and Lillie wouldn't notice him coming if they were completely engrossed in their task. Hasn't he snuck up on them a few times in the past, missing Gladion at the very beginning by mere seconds.

Gladion sits down, elbows on the table, face buried in his hands and ears turning a bright red as Ash and Lillie run out of things to throw. 

"I guess Burnet and I will just eat all these Malasadas by ourselves." Kukui sighs in false disappointment, the kids awkwardly glance at each other, embarrassment clear on their faces.

"Oh, look at the time!" Ash exclaims, voice rising as he grabs the box from the floor. "GottaseeKokobye!" He yells as he makes a break for the back door. Gladion yanks his hood up and drops his head onto the table while Lillie buries her face in Snowy's fur.

"Why don't we just take a five minute walk Kukui." Burnet suggests as she tugs him back out the door. Kukui can see that the kids were well and truly embarrassed, the project that they were working on was bit of a mystery but he can guess that it had to do with Kukui and Burnet taking each other's names. Possibly a wedding gift of some kind. Or maybe a welcoming present?

Ash was completely engrossed in a book on his lap as was Pikachu. Kukui pays him no mind and makes himself coffee while he enjoys the peaceful morning.

"Did you want some tea?" Ash jumps, book hastily shoved behind him as he nods. Kukui watches Ash and Pikachu hurriedly whisper to one another and then act as if nothing had happened. The book stays behind his back and the couch as he accepts the cup of tea from Kukui who sits across from him.

"Any new articles you going to publish?" Ash sips at his tea with a thoughtful expression. 

"Yeah. I was thinking about Meowth and how he can talk, actually talk. He doesn't use telepathy like other pokemon." Kukui nods, it was interesting how Meowth could speak, though his accent was pretty strong.

Lillie and Gladion make their way into the kitchen with curious looks at Ash and Kukui. Kukui waves at them as he peers at Ash's notes on the pokemon that could speak. Meowth, Slowking, Chatot (mimicry), Manaphy and Arceus. Though Ash had hesitantly written the name of the god pokemon.

"You have something there Ash." 

Ash and Lillie were off with the girls and Hau which left Kukui and Gladion home alone as Burnet had yet to arrive from work. Kukui thinks that Gladion had forgotten he was even home as he played soft instrumental music in the kitchen.

Kukui snuck up on Gladion.

Gladion's expression was blank as he threw a paper at his Lycanroc which was instantly torn to shreds. He said nothing, and stood to get a broom.

Kukui made his way downstairs, but that doesn't mean he missed the flush on Gladion's ears. He politely ignored it. He would just need to make more noise when he came upstairs later.

Burnet and Kukui are near the house when they hear music and singing.

 _"We were only 15_  
_When we had to shake the shadow"_ The kids sang along with the music.

 _"Of a spirit drifting_  
_And learned to dance in a world where there's no tomorrow!"_ They sounded so carefree. Burnet is laughing as she tugs on his hand to hurry him up.

  
_"Let's learn to dance in a world where there's no tomorrow!"_ When he opens the door he can see the kids in the kitchen. Dancing and singing with icing and cake batter on their clothes.

 _"No tomorrow!"_ Ash and Lillie are swaying happily to the beat with Gladion laughing as he tries to take a cake out of a round pan and ends up with half the cake instead.  
  
_"You can learn to dance_  
_You can learn to dance!"_ The pokemon were even dancing around, it was actually Charizard who pointed to them. The music is hastily shut off and an awkward and embarrassed air surrounds the kids.

This was getting ridiculous.

Lillie is practically mortified as she stares at him and Burnet. Her skin is bright red, she shrieks and rushes out of the kitchen with her failed cake left on the counter.

Ash stares at them, unashamed as he eats that cake. As if that wasn't one big warning sign.

Gladion has already turned away from them, music off as he pulls his hood up and over his head.

"Why don't we... go downstairs." Kukui tells Burnet while Ash's pokemon help him to demolish the cake. Just before they can get downstairs they hear Ash groaning. 

"No more cake for me, let's go with plan b." He and Burnet share a look and sigh in fond exasperation. 

"I think we should take our time coming home and send them a warning." She laughs in agreement.

Ash diligently checks the mail everyday, sometimes looking excited and then deflating as simple envelopes arrive. Kukui wonders if he is expecting a package from Kalos. He certainly responds quickly to those letters, and now Kukui knows exactly how Ash has been sending letters back when he knows Ash can't even mention Kalos outloud to himself.

Pikachu writes the return address.

Kukui didn't even _know_ Pikachu _could_ write.

"Meowth can talk and write. Why wouldn't Pikachu know how to write?" Ash asks offended on Pikachu's behalf. Kukui tries to correct himself but Pikachu and Mew laugh at him.

"All my pokemon can write, just some mught not be as good as others." He mutters petulantly and thus... begins a lesson for Kukui. A lesson in learning to read pokemon handwriting when Ash refuses to write and has his pokemon write everything for him.

Scraggy's penmanship could use a lot of work.

And Charizard's handwriting is very sharp and almost aggressive.

Bayleef's handwriting is all neat and small.

Rowlet's handwriting is neater than Scraggy's but not by much. 

Torracat and Lycanroc have similar handwriting and it's between Bayleef and Charizard. Neat but written sharply.

Pikachu's by far is the neatest and actually better than Ash's own handwriting.

And then somehow, Ash has Meowth write his math homework. It's a neat cursive with flowing loops and yet it seems to fit the feline.

Then when it comes time to help Ash send his latest article to Gary, he hands Kukui several sheets of paper. Kukui can feel a headache coming on as Mew giggles from Ash's shoulders. Kukui says nothing and accepts the papers. Yep. He has a headache.

"What language even is this?" Kukui is so preoccupied with trying to decipher Mew's handwriting that he barely notices Ash and Gladion around him. 

"Wait, this is old Kantonese." Kukui was not good at reading Kantonese, let alone old Kantonese.

"It's the only way the Mew knows how to write. Mewtwo definitely writes modern Kantonese." Ash informs him helpfully while Gladion walks off while scribbling away on some paper. Kukui shrugs it off when Ash hands him another set of sheets.

"Mewtwo wrote this one." He says helpfully, Kukui pushes them back towards Ash and knuckles down to peer review his work.

"I didn't think he'd do it." Ash points out, he thinks Mewtwo is conversing telepathically with him. "It was to prove a point though." Ash wanders off while Kukui pulls out a notepad and a pen.

Ash is asleep on his shoulder, Kukui rubs his eyes and pulls off his glasses. Ash jerks awake.

"Are you..." he yawns widely, sleepily rubbing his eyes. "Done?" Kukui looks at the pages and sighs to himself.

"Yeah, I'm done for tonight buddy." Ash nods and sleppily makes his way to his room. Kukui is so glad that he is finally free of his cast and sling. Physical therapy is annoying as hell though. It would be a lot more unbearable if it wasn't for the kids joining him in his exercises. 

Then of course Ash showed them that he knew Kung fu because Mimey taught him as a way to help him unwind in the mornings and evenings.

"I wasn't very good at meditating, but this helped." Ash says with his eyes closed as he slowly goes through Katas as if he has been doing them all his life.

"It's not the first time Mimey made me go through this with him, but it's the first time he wouldn't let me sit out." Pikachu is on the floor going theough the motions with him. All his pokemon go through the motions as best they can, Lillie and Gladion do their best to copy him and Kukui wonders if he hadn't chose wrestling, would he have taken lessons in martial arts like Hala had wanted.

He'll never know, but he's glad that he can learn now.

* * *

It is four days before the wedding when she lands in Alola.

Delia watches her son shift through the crowds with ease borne of familiarity and the urge to not be touched. He throws his arms around her as soon as she is within reach and burrows close to her. She's glad that he can accept her touch now. Before he had tolerated her touches, has gone with her but had been completely still and pliant. But now, he leaned into her and clung to her as if he never wanted to part.

She knows that it had been a hard time for Ash, and it was harder for his new family. She could see the way they had watched her and Gary handle Ash. The looks on their faces and the wonder when Ash reacted but also didn't. The relief on their faces.

"We should hurry back." She pinches his cheek and he whines which makes her giggle.

There is a man with white hair and the oddest pair of shades on his forehead. She looked at his tattooed arms and then smiled at how they matched his necklace.

"Aww, how cute!" She said clapping her hands. The man spluttered and the woman beside her laughed. She looked at her and thought that her little hair clips were cute.

"I love your hair decorations!" The woman grinned and then muttered something about like mother like son. But didn't elaborate when Delia looked questioningly at her.

"This is Anakala and Plumie! Anakala, Plumie this is my mama! I like them, their really nice!" Delia watched the two blush, blown away by her Ash's honesty. She could tell that they were just misguided kids in their youth and were pulling their lives together. 

"Thank you for looking after my son." She says with a small bow, Mimey mimics her and then helps her into the car. Ash squishes in beside her and then lets out his smaller pokemon.

"Hello Mew!" Delia greets the playful legendary when they slip out of her son's bag.

"You'll be staying with us for a couple days. Just until we have the wedding done." Ash mutters under his breath about being fine with sleeping on the floor. Delia nods gratefully at Anakala as she pinches her son's cheek. 

"That would work best, i still have to finish the dress!" Delia looks at the suitcase Mimey was carrying. Ash looks curious, and she wonders what he will do for the wedding.

"What will you and the kids do for the wedding?" And then Ash sparkles and wiggles in his seat as his hands wave around.

"I carry the rings! Lillie is going to the flower girl! But we didn't get flowers, Kukui-hakase gave us these stars that had words, and he likes to give them to us all the time!" His hands spread out and he looks so excited. "So we made a lot more and wrote a lot of stuff on them! Lillie's going to throw them!" He looks so proud.

"And then Anakala is supposed to find Kukui-hakase's best friend so he can be best man and Gladion is also best man." He looks confused but shakes it off.

"And we told Wicke-san and she is going to be the maid of honor! Mallow is bringing food for the wedding and cause we can't make cake we decided on pancakes! So Lana is taking care of that! 'N Kiawe is talking to Hala to effice-office- to do the vows!" Delia catches the small movement that Anakala makes and wonders if he might not like this Hala.

"And Sophocles is helping Anakala, and Plumie set up the wedding outside Kukui-hakase's house. And Lillie's butler, Hobbes is buying champagne for the toasts!" Ash continues to explain everything and Delia grins at his excitement. The kids had clearly planned this for quite some time.

It is one day before the wedding and she has mostly finished the dress. She just needs to have Burnet try it on and finish the rest.

Everything was set up, and her son has been able to meet with all the colorful individuals of this place called Shady House. She doesn't know why it is Shady House when it is so colorful. Or why the boys and girls all change into different clothes when her son comes over but she knows that they are all good children.

She looks over at her son when he runs up the stairs along with the fair haired siblings. She watches as Guzma looks exasperated when he follows them.

"What's wrong mama?" Delia looks down at Plumie and ties off the braid she had just finished.

"Are you sure that none of you will attend?" Plumie's eyes flicker to the stairs, her eyes downcast.

"Yeah." But she smiles as if she had thought of something funny. Delia leaves her be and starts braiding the other half of her hair.

Several of the girls admire their hair after she finishes combing it for them. One young man even shyly sits down and holds up a rubber band. Delia easily brushes his hair.

Delia checks on the kids one by one to make sure they are all sleeping. She has to coax two into their own beds instead of playing video games all night. And she finds her son and his siblings listening to Guzma tell them a story. She chuckles to her self and leaves them alone. She would have to see about waking Ash up with the help of several of his pokemon if he wasn't awake tomorrow morning.

Delia takes the guest room that had been set up for her and looks at the dress she had worked so hard on when Ash had called her at four in the morning because Kukui had bought a ring and he was going to marry Burnet.

She had missed out own having a wedding of her own. She's glad to participate in one now. Especially because she knows her son was going to get stage fright.

"And then the school play will be within the next few days too." Delia giggles to herself. She can't wait to see everyone's expressions when they realize her son who has traveled the world and competed in leagues and contests, has stage fright.

* * *

There is a knock on the door as Ash, Lillie and Gladion play rock, paper, scissors. Burnet opens the door and freezes when she sees Ash's mom and Wicke.

Burnet looks over at Ash's mom, then at Ash, Lillie and Gladion who smile up at her. 

"Are you ready to get married?" Burnet tears up. These wonder, beautiful children never cease to amaze her.

"I've brought the essentials." Wicke smiles as she carries a case.

Gladion and Ash wave her off and pull out a tuxedo as they head downstairs while snickering.

"Here, you can use these to decorate your hair." Lillie says as she hands Burnet some hair ornaments and Burnet feels her heart throbbing.

"I made you this wedding dress, i still need to tuck it in a few places, please bear with me. I started making it as soon as i could." Burnet looks at the dress and blinks back tears, it was so beautiful.

"You can wear these earrings, Kukui bought these for you didn't he?" Wicke grins before pulling out a necklace from her pocket and putting it around Burnet's neck as Delia helps her into her dress.

"Wicke, this is your..." Wicke smiles at her and grabs hold of her hand.

"Burnet, I've watched you grow up, right here in Aether. Nothing would please me more than to watch you get married to the love of your life." Burnet can't stop the tears.

She had never thought this day would come, and now it was finally here.

"I can't believe Kukui is getting married! Why was i only given an hour notice!!!!" A man wailed as he ran into the house, Burnet hugs the dress to her chest, highly aware of her state of undress. Lillie also wearing a simple tank top and leggings shrieked and began to throw whatever was in hands reach.

"I'M SO SORRY!!!!!" The man with glasses screams turning tail only to slam into the wall. Mew helpfully teleported him, Lillie was redder than a tomato berrie as she panted with her hands holding a high heel.

"Easy there Lillie." Burnet takes the heel from her hand, and then slips it on.

The rest of the time passes by uneventfully as they help her get ready. Lillie was dressed in a beautiful pale green dress with wrist length gloves. Her hair was curled, with a simple hair ornament and a basket in her hand that had yet to be filled.

"I'll check on Ash and Brother." Lillie grins and runs downstairs. Wicke is getting dressed and Burnet realizes she hadn't actually asked Wicke to be her maid of honor.

"Wicke, will you be my maid of honor?" Wicke smiles at her.

"Nothing would make me happier." She looks over to Delia and smiles as she hugs the older woman.

"I..." Delia pats her back.

"I would be honored to walk you down the aisle." Burnet grins and tries hard not to cry.

"Charizard!" Burnet looks back and sees Charizard with his wings extended, shielding her from view.

"We'll meet you outside! The others should be done setting up!" Lillie calls out and then she hears several pairs of shoes pass by and then silence.

"Well, shall we?" Delia holds out her elbow and grins brightly just like her son does.

Then they walk out the door arm in arm and Burnet can see everyone gathered outside. Kukui stands in front of Hala wearing a light gray tux, his hair braided into a crown, the glasses wearing man is beside him and Gladion in a tux is beside the man. Burnet realizes that Gladion's tie is weirdly knotted but she remembers him and his book on knots that ge was practicingthe other day.

Lillie waits at the end of the aisle with a basket, Scraggy and Snowy stand opposite of her with bows on all nine of her tails. She sees Wicke, Olivia, Mallow, Lana, Kiawe, Hau, Sophocles, Jessie, James, Meowth, Wobbuffet, a girl with a Mimikyu floating beside her, Jenny, Joy, Anela and Principal Oak.

And at the back she sees an Incenroar wearing sunglasses and a bowtie with a large handkerchief. Beside the Incenroar is a white haired man with a face mask, and sunglasses wearing Aether uniform. His arms are crossed over his chest, but he reaches out to pat the Incenroar in a consoling manner.

"Ready?" Lillie asks with a smile, Burnet nods and she walks down the aisle sprinkling stars as she went. Scraggy does the same on the opposite side. Burnet peers down at the stars and smiles.

**Brave. Kind. Courageous. Sympathetic. Brilliant. Love. Beautiful. Graceful.**

And so many other words line the aisle. She can see all their handwriting. Even Ash's pokemon's handwriting.

"I remember looking at you as we left eachother's lives. Looking at you and painting a picture of you in my mind, so that I'd never forget you." Kukui says, he looks at Burnet and her heart swells with love.

"And even though we wandered for parts unknown, for the paths that we chose, i knew that I'd find you again someday." Kukui holds Burnet's hands in his as he looks into her eyes.

She can see love.

"We were made to find each other, to reunite parts of a whole." As one the two of them glance at the kids. Their kids.

"And now the rings." Ash stands at the end of the aisle wearing a white button up and slacks, Pikachu wears a tie. Ash is holding a pillow in his shaking hands and she fears for a moment that its the crowd that makes him nervous. And it is but not in the way she thought.

Ash is sweating and jittery as if he had stage fright. When he was afraid his eyes didn't stay still and he shook but didn't sweat. He makes his way down the aisle and his mother giggles into her palm and suddenly he is blushing and stuttering as he holds out the rings.

Kukui and Burnet take the rings and he is decidedly less nervous as he stands beside Gladion.

"With this ring." Burnet looks in Kukui's eyes and sees them growing old together. 

"With this ring." Kukui grins as he holds her other hand to his chest which beats to the rhythm of her own.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife!" There's cheers and them Ash laughs and throws himself at them. Burnet's heart stops as his arm wraps around her waist and his nose is pressed into her collarbone.

She cries even though she had promised not too. She hugs Ash back and laughs as he lifts both her and Kukui and twirls them in the air with excited laughter spilling out of his lips. He barely sets them down before Gladion and Lillie have plowed into them and Burnet hugs them all.

They are all laughing. This is the happiest day of her life.

And then Incenroar howls from the back, face buried in the handkerchief as if its wildest dreams had come true.

"And now we're going to have the first dance." Samson says and then Kukui groans, Burnet sees the shit eating grin that Gladion wears and laughs.

_I've been drinking, I've been drinking_  
_I get filthy when that liquor get into me_  
_I've been thinking, I've been thinking_  
_Why can't I keep my fingers off it, baby?_  
_I want you, na na_  
_Why can't I keep my fingers off it, baby?_

She hears raucous laughter and sees the Aether employees had tipped over and the Incenroar was holding them up. Charizard snorts and extends his wings as if to cover the distracting sight.

_Let the bough break, let it come down crashing_  
_Let the sun fade out to a dark sky_  
_I can't say I'd even notice it was absent_  
_Cause I could live by the light in your eyes_

Kukui extends his hand out and she grabs it, they dance, swaying in place.

Ash dances with his mother, and Lillie and Gladion dance with each other.

_I'll unfold before you_  
_Would have strung together_  
_The very first words_  
_Of a lifelong love letter_

Burnet extends her hand to Gladion as he passes by and he grabs hold of her hand. Kukui extends his hand to Ash as he passes by with his mother. She smiles and steps back.

_Tell the world that we finally got it all right_  
_I choose you_  
_I will become yours and you will become mine_

Burnet twirls both Gladion and Lillie, Ash twirls Kukui and laughs as Gladion grabs hold of his hand and twirls him into Burnet.

_I choose you_  
_I choose you_  
_(Yeah)_

Lillie spins into Kukui, laughingly taking his hand and courtesies.

_There was a time when I would have believed them_  
_If they told me you could not come true_  
_Just love's illusion_

Burnet twirls Ash and giggles when he and Lillie twirl one another and Kukui twirls Gladion to her.

_But then you found me and everything changed_  
_And I believe in something again_

Burnet loops her arms through Lillie and Ash's arms, and they in turn link them with Kukui and Gladion who loop their arms together and suddenly they are dancing in a circle.

Laughing, happy as can be and then they hear a roar above them.

"Nebby!!!!!!" Ash shouts happily, and they see Nebby smiling down at them. He runs off after another roar and Burnet can't help but feel as if this was a good omen.

When it comes to the cake, Burnet finds that it is pancakes. And then she laughs as she remembers the failed cakes the kids had tried making. All three blush and laugh sheepishly as if recalling their failures.

When Burnet tosses the bouquet, she laughs when Mew is the one to catch it and dumps it on Ash who meets her eyes and flushes as if remembering the time he had landed in Kukui's arms with a bundle of flowers. He tosses it away and Olivia catches it with a shriek of delight.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Delia waves them off.

"Go on. Two days, and not a moment sooner." She and Kukui worriedly wave at the kids who are lauguing with their friends as they slowly dismantle the wedding venue.

The kids don't seem overly bothered about them leaving, and it is worrying to leave them after what happened last time, but Delia is there with them. Even if she isn't a trainer Burnet has seen what she is capable of.

* * *

Guzma doesn't know how the kids suckered him into staying at Kukui's place. He doesn't know how they got his misfits to agree to spend the night as well. But he can admit that it was not bad.

The pajamas they had for everyone were actually cute too. Lillie had snowflakes, Gladion had Rockruffs and the brat himself had Pikachus.

His misfits all had pokemon theme pjs.

His was all white with little Wimpods on it.

Guzma lets Delia sleep in and makes sure that all of his misfits have left for the day. Ash snickers as if he has done something by inviting them all to stay and he wonders how Ash still hasn't figured out his job by now.

_There's some things I should have said_  
_I was too afraid_

Guzma is a sentimental fool, he should leave. Really.

  
_It was just so hard to let you know_  
_Now it's all too late_

"Alright I'm leaving too brats." The kids look up at him and he knows that look should be illegal. What the fuck? How were they pulling it off?

Guzma sighs when Ash clings to him like a Komala, Lillie tugs at his arm insistently, and Gladion is perched on the counter mixing the pancake mix while the stove remains untouched.

_I wish i was, i wish i was, brave enough to love you._

Gladion's ridiculous playlist was still playing. Gladion paid him no mind, but his smirk said it all. Guzma groans.

"Fine, fine brats!" Guzma is barely making his way to the kitchen when the door opens behind him. Something drops onto the floor. He glances behind him and sees Kukui, he pointedly looks away.

"Guzma." Guzma can remember how his best friend had completely disappeared from his life after Hala had declared that Guzma had blasphemied the gods.

Lillie tightens her hold in concern, Gladion switches his music off with hesitation, and Ash rests his chin on Guzma's shoulder and looks at him with an unreadable look.

He doesn't comfort him, or look concerned, he just tightens his hold a little.

Guzma finishes the walk to the kitchen and turns on the stove.

"Alright, I'm only teaching ya once, so pay attention." Three sets of eyes focus intently on his movements.

And Guzma pretends that two of his closest friends aren't behind him.

He pretends because he is trying his best to not hold grudges.

Guzma was petty.

He didn't make them breakfast.


	30. I've Been Waiting, Trust Me Take My Hand, Let Me Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Professor conference to discuss ultra beast, setting up a network to detect rifts in ultra space around the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: let me in again - the material

Kukui couldn't wait to get home to the kids. He was anxious to make sure they were alright. They were all pretty bad at texting him back.

Burnet looks equally concerned as she sends one more text. Kukui looks down at his leg and thinks if he has to, he can use the cast as a weapon.

They could hear music, Gladion's music. A good and bad sign. Kukui wonders if Gladion has always been mischievous like this or his caretakers made him this way.

When he opens the door, he sees a man with white hair in pajamas with Ash hanging from his back and Lillie clinging to his arm. The man turns and narrowed gray eyes stare at him.

His heart skips a beat.

_"Here! A cherish ball for good luck!" Kukui smiles as he holds out the ball, Guzma grins softly._

_"Thanks! I'll use it for my next pokemon."_

His suit case hits the floor.

"Guzma." Gladion hesitantly shuts off his music and Guzma makes his way to the kitchen.

Guzma carefully shows the kids how to make pancakes. Adding chocolate to some and berries to others. Ash looks interested in the berries more than than pancakes.

Kukui looks down when Burnet rests her hand on his arm. He shakes his head and picks his suitcase back up.

Gladion was setting up the table when Kukui came back, he takes a sip of his juice and comments blandly about returning early before he sits down as Ash and Lillie set the food on the table.

Guzma pulls out a chair and sits, glaring and Kukui can barely see his childhood friend reflected in those eyes. The Guzma he knew had never been this angry.

"Oh man! These pancakes are so good!" Ash exclaims with his mouth full. Guzma doesn't even look away from him as his finger flicks Ash in the forehead and he apologizes. He does look away when Gladion's shoulders rise to his ears.

He eats his pancakes in silence but the fact that there is no extra plates has made it clear that he has uninivited Kukui from his own table.

Which was something only Guzma could do. He had uninvited Kukui from his own birthday once. And to this day, he has no idea how it happened. And Molayne still makes fun of him on his birthday for it.

Lillie is starting to notice the tension but is distracted by Scraggy going up to her and asking to be picked up, she gets headbutted instantly. Ash chokes on a pancake and laughter as he watches Bayleef drag the small Pokemon away. Kukui opts to remain silent as he and Burnet sit on the couch and watch the news.

Delia joins them, kissing the kids on the head and ruffling Guzma's hair before taking a seat and exchanging recipes with him.

And then fiercely debating about something. Ash took one look at them and then looked away with his _I'm pretending this is not happening_ smile that also looked like his _i'm distracted and don't know what's going on_ smile.

Gladion slings his arm over his chair, crossed his legs and turned his head away as if this was something he was used to and did not want any part in it.

Lillie leaned closer watching them with a fond smile. The pancakes were abandoned by all parties.

"Fine! I'll think about it!" He stood up and helped Delia clear up the table when she and Guzma tag teamed to get the kids to finish eating.

Then he was on his way. Kukui was torn between relief that he was leaving and sadness that he was leaving.

"Bye Anakala!" The trio wave, they each get a head pat, Guzma tosses a small bag at Kukui and then is off. When Kukui opens it, there is a hand carved, hand painted Tapu Koko.

_"When I get married, I want to get a hand carved Tapu just like Makua, you'll carve it right?" Kukui laughed, Guzma looked away from the small Litten he was whittling and scoffed. "No. Besides, that dropped out of favor a long time ago, you're parents are so old school." The two glared at each other before laughing._

Kukui smiles at the small wood carving, Ash is peering at it from his right and Lillie from his left.

"It's considered good luck to give the wedded a hand carved statue, a tiki, of the deity they worship." Ash makes a sound of amazement, Lillie looks at him with bright eyes and awe. Gladion looks away, but Kukui can see a smile teasing his lips.

Kukui watches Guzma walk away and wonders to himself if maybe he was more at fault for their lost friendship. And then he wonders again, what happened to him.

"We have school in about thirty minutes." Gladion looks at his arm and Kukui realizes that he hadn't worn his sling since that attack by those ultra beasts. He hadn't even noticed it.

He kept silent but Burnet rested her hand against his, worry in her eyes. He didn't like that look.

"My arm's all better now!" He tells the kids and then they look skeptical so of course he has to prove them wrong. His hands are around Ash's waist before he could think things through.

He was lifting Ash towards the ceiling. Ash looked unimpressed as he crossed his arms over his chest. Lillie started laughing, Gladion stared blankly and pointedly took a single step back.

"You're doing that one movie thing aren't you." Ash states blandly, Delia is giggling furiously in the kitchen and Burnet snorts as she stumbles into the kitchen.

He should have thought a little more before moving. And Ash was surprisingly light.

"You can stop lifting me now." Ash says and Kukui realizes that he was lifting. Lifting Ash that is.

As if Ash was a weight. He coughs and sets him down, Ash looks thoroughly unimpressed.

"You're not the only one that can lift people up. I can too." He says and lift Kukui off the floor before setting him down and walking off. The very picture of righteous indignation.

* * *

Charizard looks up from where he lays sunning on the school roof. A small unknown being prods at him curiously. It giggles and Charizard decides it is not his problem and shoos it away with a flick of his wing. The pink and purple being pouts but wanders off.

Charizard decides it is his problem when Pikachu follows after it like a dumbass while Ash no doubt lets him. Extra dumbass. But they were _his._

But Charizard was used to looking out for them. As were the others, these new pokemon were all young and had much to learn. At least they all knew that their trainer had no self preservation and knew to stick to his side.

Charizard takes off and follows behind the two, he has no doubt that this being will bring trouble. What kind he is not sure, but if it is harmful to Ash he will eat it. It might taste disgusting but it was a sacrifice he was willing to make. And Ash would give him a belly rub for it.

Charizard lands when they come to a clearing wide enough to fit him. Pikachu is clearly taken by the creature as he allows it to play. They laugh, eat berries together, Charizard could see that Pikachu viewed this one as one of their hatchlings. He sighed out a plume of smoke and watched.

Pikachu chittered at him as he gestures to the pink and purple creature. Charizard blithely responded that he would accept the creature when Ash claimed them. Until then he would keep his distance. Pikachu snorts before giving himself a quick bath and then the hatchling too was given a quick bath before being told to follow them.

It stayed right where it floated and Charizard realized that there might be some miscommunication going on. He sighed, _hatchlings._

Charizard scooped up the small hatchling and Pikachu and took flight. The hatchling giggled and rolled from one wing to the other, flying beside Charizard in an endless looping twirl that slowly started making him dizzy. But he would not falter. This was his domain!

Pikachu snickers, goading him on.

Charizard beats his mighty wings and showed the hatchling his fighting prowess that had challenged the gods.

Loops, twirls arcs, fake outs, around the world and his tornados. The hatchling giggled joyfully, clapping its paw pads and mimicking him.

"Charizard! Pikachu!" Charizard looks towards the school, Ash stands on the railing waving at them and Charizard grins. He grabs hold of his trainer and takes off, with one twirl his trainer is seated on him. Leaning close to avoid the wind and its cutting pressure. Hands gentle, always gentle, finding the perfect spots to grab hold and Charizard knows with every breath he takes that Ash trusts him.

Charizard _flies._

He flies in a way that he has only ever flown when Ash is on his back. Using maneuvers that had outpaced the gods. Ash laughs, leaning when Charizard leans, making himself flatter and pressing Pikachu between them to keep him from flying off.

Charizard can see the hatchling watching with bright eyes. Ash stretches out his hand, warm and welcoming. The hatchling draws closer and then Charizard sees the moment when his hand slips and corrects their path.

"I'm okay, I'm okay." Hands soothingly rub over his neck, scratching gently where he likes. Charizard snorts but obligingly resumes their flight.

"Hi, I'm Ash and these are my partners Pikachu and Charizard." The hatchling looks confused, Ash switches his vocalization and when none of his vocal sounds produce the right words he reaches out again.

The hatchling moves closer, it giggles and twirls around him. Charizard can feel the moment that Ash touches it when his grip falters again before tightening.

"You're an ultra beast aren't you?" He can hear sunshine in his voice as he speaks hatchling to the hatchling. "You're just a baby. You don't have to worry, we can be friends." And Charizard flies Ash back to his new human dwelling with that strange labcoat wearing Professor that was invested in raising hatchlings.

Looks like they had a new hatchling. It would keep Ash occupied from thoughts that should not be thought.

"Thanks Charizard!" Charizard returns to sunning himself on the roof. The fire human is screaming at Ash, but in the ways that the rock brother had. Silly humans. Ash had fought the gods and won, death bowed to _him._ Falling off Charizard would bring him no danger, not that Charizard would let that happen.

Charizard watches Ash's not friends but still friends that sometimes try to take them from Ash but mostly try to take Pikachu, stare at Ash and his newest hatchling. Meowth looks at him and Charizard shrugs. Meowth nods as if that explains everything, and well, it did.

When Ash wanted something, he was stubborn enough to get his way.

"Just take care of yourself twerp." Ash nods, accepting the head pats before feeding them all Malasadas. Charizard looks to the friend? With the cousin of Pikachu's species. He waits for Ash, smiling when Ash passes him one too.

They meet up with Ash's nestmates and walk to the strange home that Ash now resides in. Hatchling, now called Poipole falls them, happy as can be. Charizard eyes Pikachu who feels Ash's life fluctuating. Charizard scans the horizon but does not spot what is causing the distress. 

Charizard grabs him and lifts him close as if to guard him when his life stutters. Charizard does not like what these ultra beasts have done to Ash's very life force. His aura has not felt like this. Has never felt like this.

Something was happening. Something dangerous. This was different than battling and defending the gods as their champion.

Charizard will keep his/ _their_ , _always_ _their,_ human safe. He will keep him safe because there have been old tales, older than the lake trinity that have spoken of a _Champion_ that would ride with legends. That would defend the legends and be their _guide,_ their _savior,_ their _Champion._ But the tales had never mentioned how _young,_ how _frail,_ how _breakable_ , the _Champion_ could be.

Charizard had seen Ash grow from a brash hatchling with fear at the tremendous weight on his shoulder. Had seen him battle on despite his fear and grow.

He grew into his role as the _Champion_ of Legends. Had seen it take and chip away at him, and always rise up even as he slowly drowned with the pain he took to heal the legends. Charizard had seen wounds close over, scab and become scars.

And now there was something here, something that seemed to pull at Ash's life force. He would not let it take Ash from them.

Ash was their light, their life, _theirs,_ theirs to love and be loved by in return.

"Hey." Ash is soft as he turns, hands gentle as they rest on Charizard's cheeks. "I love you too buddy." And Charizard can feel that love, can feel it seep into him like the warmth of the sun, the strength of the wind, the pull of the waves and the singing of the earth.

Ash smiles and it feels like _home._

Ash trains with his pokemon. He trains them hard, but loves them harder. He knows there is a battle coming, which is why Ash is preparing them. He never says it, but Charizard can see it in the way that he trains their nestmates. Coaching them to think on their feet. To abandon plans if they don't fit. To fight in unconventional ways. To use their opponents strengths against them.

He fostered teamwork. 

"Alright, Rowlet, again!" Ash is running and dodging Rowlet's bullet seed attack. Ash kicks up sand into the air and Rowlet twists as he uses leafage and follows it up by using razorleaf. But Charizard can already see that Ash had managed to roll under and popped up behind Rowlet.

The small bird startles as hands wrap around his talons. Ash giggles and grooms his feathers as he praises the bird softly.

Charizard is awake when Ash sits up to stare out the window. He makes his way to the window, his small rectangle lighting up.

"There's an ultra beast on Mele Mele and it's really fast." He puts it down and looks at Charizard.

"I need you to help out Anakala and Gladion." Charizard nods and slips outside while Ash leaves his room. The sky is dark, the sun is close to rising.

Ash's kin steps outside and rubs his eyes, stretching lightly before Charizard lifts him into his arms as the boy releases his chimera. Charizard follow behind it, keeping track of where it runs with no hesitation. He wonders if he will be able to track them as unerringly as this chimera. They have no discernable scent that he can smell.

It's disconcerting to not smell them as he can with others. Even gods have scents to them.

They spend hours tracking the beast, Ash's kin pats his shoulder.

"We should go back. Silvally can keep tracking it, but we'll always be behind until he come up with a plan." Charizard snorts but stops his pursuit. 

"Silvally!" The chimera skids to a stop, it looks over at them, talons shuffling before it dips its head. It trots after them a short distance to the river and moves to take a sip while Charizard sets its trainer down.

He suns himself on a rock and waits, the sun is in the perfect position.

The boy looks at him, Charizard peeks at him, waiting, the boy collapses beside him and shuts his eyes to sleep. Charizard lightly stretches his wing to cover the boy, his rest would not be disturbed.

The chimera settles down beside them and watches him with gleaming silver eyes. Charizard can not understand this being. But it is not a vocalization error. No, this one speaks with actions.

With emotions and scent.

They rest until it nears noon and the white haired man walks up to them with food. His body language is soft as he speaks with the boy. He takes the time to really check on him, it makes Charizard realize that this land made children hold onto their childhood.

It was not like Kanto where the children traveled to grow and learn who they will become in life. 

"Charizard, will you lend me your strength?" Ash had asked him to lend them his strength, so Charizard would listen to their commands for now.

The boy and man climbed onto their chimeras and took off with Charizard offering support by air.

They spend the rest of the day playing catch up and it irks Charizard. Ash and Pikachu join them some time later, but even then they still are behind on catching the beast.

"Jessie and James are good at making traps..." Charizard knew this day was coming. Had known for years when Ash had first claimed them and they claimed him in return.

Pikachu grudgingly shakes his claw, Charizard smugly accepts a vine whip shaking his other claw.

"What did you bet about?" Ash is never surprised about their gambles, the other humans on the other hand gape at them.

"I have made the executive decision to hire consultants." Ash almost stumbles over his words but makes it through with his dignity intact. No one protests, aside from the grass and fire type humans. Ash's kin is on his rectangle for a moment before telling them they are covered.

"Can you help trap an ultra beast?" Charizard watches the humans and Meowth have a whole conversation with their eyes. 

"Twerp." And then Ash begs and Charizard knows that no one can resist when he pleads for help. Would never resist because he rarely asked for help.

"Fine. Give us all the information you have and twenty minutes." Charizard looks to the dark sky and growls at them. They speak some more without words, some gestures and then turn Ash away with orders to rest and tomorrow they would present their plans.

"Ok... just stay safe." They nod and Charizard takes Ash home.

As Charizard flies, Ash sits on his back in thoughtful silence.

"Charizard..." Charizard peeks at him, Ash lies down completely on his back without gripping him, trusting himself and Charizard completely. It's silent but warm, and Charizard is patient.

"I don't know if I'm ready for whatever is coming." They never are even when they try to. Training never seems to be enough when the legends call to their _Champion._

"Pikapi." Pikachu cuddles close and Charizard slows their flight a little more. He gives Ash the peace of this solitude. 

And as they draw closer to their dwelling Ash stretches his hand and gives him a belly rub. Charizard snorts but rumbles anyway. He lets out a soft roar, Ash looks up at him and grins.

"I know you'll have my back buddy!" And Charizard will, because he was not going to let him hurt like before.

Charizard looks at the z crystals, he looks at the traps that Team Rocket has made and he looks at the conspicuously missing Meowth.

"We're pretty sure that ultra beast used some type of attract on him." Ash looks concerned, eyeing the space at their feet before the Duo give a short demonstration.

The trap was simple. It was a small platform in the center of a clearing, that created an electric field once the weight of the z crystals was taken off the pedestal. Charizard reluctantly went back into his pokeball, Ash would be hiding in a pit trap, as would the others and he would be called out when the trap was triggered.

Charizard was ready to fight and didn't actually have to fight. Ash was furious, shoulders shaking as he glared at the strange being. Meowth was sobbing, and Charizard remembers now, Meowth was theirs. He was _theirs_ as _Ash_ was Meowths.

Ash had never tolerated his pokemon being hurt. Would rather take the hurt and suffer in their place.

"Charizard, pitch." Charizard caught hold of Ash's hand as he held it out and swung him in a fast circle. Ash slammed feet first into the Ultra beast's back.

"Pikachu quick counter shield." Pikachu quick attacked with counter shield surrounding him like thunder armor. It was a weaker cousin to volt tackle but just as effective.

Ash didn't hesitate to throw himself into the fight and split stone.

Then a strange pokemon had arrived. It was pink and black and smelled like Team Rocket. Charizard watches at it is thrown into a rage when it sees Meowth's tears.

Ash clearly sees how much the pokemon cares for Meowth as he and the pokemon team up and makes sure the ultra beast can't escape them.

Charizard is only happy to help corral it towards Ash and the protective pokemon. The pokemon gets the last shot and Ash makes his way over to Meowth. He pets him and briefly grooms his fur back into order and polishes his coin before passing him over to the protective pokemon that has taken team rocket in.

"Take care of him." The pokemon nods and walks off.

Ash tugs his hat down and looks back at the pokeball.

"Charizard keep an eye on it." He says and Charizard knows that Ash wants him to make sure that it does not escape when they try to return it.

"Just how strong are you?" Someone asks, Charizard grins and beats his wings a few times to gain altitude and stops just above Ash who holds up his hands. Charizard rests his legs and slowly stops flapping his wings. Ash carries his whole weight without breaking a sweat.

He laughs as the other children collectively lose their minds.

* * *

Ash was plastered across his Charizard's back, his pokemon in a pile around them, his notebook was being hastily scribbled in as he had a fast paced conversation with Rotom about Giratina and Hoopa.

Lillie was brushing Snowy's fur, tying ribbons into the tails, and placing matching ribbons into her own hair. 

Gladion was slumped back against Silvally, hood pulled up as he flipped through an issue of poké geographics.

"Kids..." Ash, Lillie and Gladion each turned to look at Kukui. Kukui nervously rubbed the back of his neck, the upcoming conference coming to mind. He hadn't anticipated the conference, it was stupid, he should have. Something this big? Of course there would be a conference called.

"Is something wrong?" Gladion asks as he sits up and sets aside his poké geographics magazine. Kukui swallows, it's best to get it out of the way, prepare the kids.

"There will be a conference happening within the next three days, it's about the ultra beast problem." Ash makes a noise of recognition and rolls off his Charizard, landing on the only open spot in the pile of pokemon.

"Sam sent me an email about that a few days back, he said he was going to be bringing Tracy as his research assistant and that he wanted to introduce me to an associate of his." Kukui felt some relief but it was short lived as he realized that the conferences were usually a few days, Ash couldn't just skip school. And Kukui couldn't just leave two of his kids behind while he left for another region.

Burnet nervously bites her lips as she looks between the kids with a worried expression. Both of them would be preoccupied in the conference.

"Don't conferences for new discoveries take about a week? Are you going to get a substitute for the class this time?" Kukui hadn't even thought about plans for the substitute after he found out about the conference. He catches Burnet's eyes. _Shit!!!_ Thinking of plans for the substitute would take more time away from planning contingencies for the kids.

"Mother is hosting the conference at Aether for the prestige isn't she? She is funding the research into the ultra beasts after all." Gladion calmly says, picking his magazine back up and fllipping through the pages with a bored expression. 

That's right! Kukui and Burnet share looks of equal relief, though it is short lived as they recall that once in the conference, the Professors can't leave.

Aether was hosting, but that was still a week away from his kids! Well, it wasn't a region away at least. Not that this was better by much, especially with the ultra beasts still popping up every now and then, most in random places and at any time of day.

And what if someone tried harming the kids again?

"Mm, Professor Willow is supposed to be bringing three guests, wonder who they are." Ash wonders aloud as he slowly gets pulled back into a conversation with Rotom and Lillie has switched from brushing Snowy's fur to combing Gladion's hair. Gladion doesn't seem to mind aside from passing ribbons and telling Lillie no pictures.

How were they not nervous? The last time Kukui had been at a conference, the worst had come to pass. Burnet tugs his hand and leads him towards the kitchen.

"Maybe we're blowing things out of proportion. Let's... let's just see how the next few days pass." She offers with a hesitant smile.

Later that night, Ash grins excitedly over dinner and tells them that Gary is going to be accompanying Professor Rowan and Kukui is not sure he kept a grimace from making its way across his face as Ash shoots him a confused look. Kukui was going to leave that alone, their issues may be resolved now. But to Kukui, Professor Oak, the younger one that is, is still a brat. And to the young Professor, Kukui was barely tolerated, and a target to heckling at any opportunity. 

Burnet laughs at him when they turn in for the night. She had somehow missed the tension between the two of them. Kukui has no idea how everyone missed it, because he knows they missed it. The only who seemed to catch on was Delia, but she simply smiled teasingly at Kukui. Jealousy aside, the brat was very prickly. He almost reminded him of a young Guzma.

 _Almost._

* * *

The next morning, Burnet waves the kids off and heads to Aether to take a look at what they had to present for the conference. 

Burnet looks at what she has compiled thus far on the ultra beasts and realizes that she needs to start from the beginning.

The very beginning, she needs to start with Mohn. So, with Wicke's help, they begin to comb through the archived footage. Laughing at footage that they found here and there. Taking note to come back to others to find out what happened to certain experiments. 

"I found it!" Wicke says, Burnet sighs in relief, she really wishes that they had labeled the footage with dates, instead of just compiling them by where they were shot. She's just about to turn off the screen when she sees an ultra wormhole.

Could this be the time that Gladion and Lillie first encountered the ultra beast? Burnet forwards the video and sees a young teen with black hair, dressed in a labcoat and the standard white of Aether's employees. He is following Faba. Both of them seem excited by the ultra wormhole, turning to one another. The teenager even smiles, then everything goes horribly wrong. Burnet can feel her heart thundering in her chest as she stares at that face.

So familiar, as if she knew him, but she didn't.

Did she?

UB-01 is wrapped around him, he is screaming, reaching out his hand. Burnet raises a hand to cover her mouth as she can hear his pleas for help go unanswered, Faba watches, frozen and then the teen's pokemon release themselves from their pokeballs.

She sniffles as the boy screams, she sees the type Null, the project that had ended in failure. But how had it ended in failure? Did they even have a report for that?

"Burnet?" Wicke looks concerned but Burnet can't stop her tears, the type Null is brutally murdered in front of this poor kid. Trying to save him.

"Who is that. Faba? That's the failed type null, and an ultra beast? But where are Lillie and Gladion?" Wicke rewinds, watching from the start, she falls heavily into the chair beside Burnet. Watching the boy runaway, leaving a motionless Faba and the failed type Null behind. 

"I _know_ him, i just _can't_ remember." Burnet hiccups as she rewinds again, and again, and again. Looking at the boy's excited face. His name is on the tip of her tongue. She knows it!

She rewinds again, zooming in on his key card, but it's flipped.

~~_"You should wear your id properly" the boy sticks his tongue out at her and purposely flips it so his name doesn't show._ ~~

~~_"Yeah well, i like being unknown here." Burnet chuckles and ruffles his shaggy black hair._ ~~

The memory dissipates like fog.

"Aether, Aether has a record of all employees." Wicke hiccups, tears clinging to her lashes, creating streaks on her glasses as she begins combing through the employees. 

Burnet rubs her eyes with the inside of her wrists and quickly begins to look up the terminated employees.

"This... this is him." Wicke and Burnet pause on a picture of a young teenager, maybe fourteen years old. He doesn't smile, his name is not listed, just numbers. They both dive into his record and find that he was not terminated as an employee, his keycard was turned in, and he had no hours clocked so he had no pay. For some reason, he has not been removed from the system.

"His name is Guzma, and he's twenty seven years old now." Burnet folds over her knees and cries. She remembers Kukui telling her about his childhood friend, back when they were in school and how he disappeared after failing his trial. And how he never knew what happened to him because he had chosen to travel to Unova for school.

She remembers that man the kids had been crowded around when they came back from their honeymoon. The look on his face when he saw the both of them, and how he dropped it in favor of the kids.

How was she going to tell Kukui?

"Faba... Faba." Wicke sounds desolate as she shakily grasps Burnet's shoulder, Burnet looks up and she can't stop the sob.

**_"G! G! Faba! I heard screaming, what happ-" Burnet skids to a stop, she's in front of the deceased type null. She looks up, Faba stares at her, Burnet turns her head to see that she is alone._ **

**_"I couldn't do it." Faba says, his hand goes to his pockets as he strides forward. "I'm sorry, for what its worth, I'm sorry for doing this to the both of you." Burnet takes a step back, hand coming up as Faba calls out Drowzee._ **

Wicke holds onto Burnet as she cracks. Faba had done this, he had really done this. _Erased_ someone from her memories, not just her. Quite possibly everyones.

"Shh." Wicke sniffles as she pets Burnet's hair. She had trusted Faba. He had helped mentor her when she first started at Aether all those years ago.

All this time.

She hadn't just failed Gladion and Lillie. She'd failed Guzma, Kukui's friend. _Her_ friend.

What kind of person did that make her? How could he look her in the eyes and not hate her?

Burnet hated herself.

She remembers how he wrapped his arm around her and lead her out of Oranguru's and pushed her to go on a date with Kukui. Then later on when they had broken up, had taken one look at her and actually walked into a wall in his haste to turn away from her. She remembers him bodily hauling her out of her stool, tossing Oranguru some coins then dragged her to town with his pink and blonde haired friend. She seemed exasperated with Burnet.

How could he still care for the people that had failed him?

Burnet and Wicke spend the next few minutes consoling one another. When they look up, they realize that they had left the feed playing. And they witness events repeat.

_**"Lillie!!!!! Faba do something!" Young Gladion cries out as he rushes forward, Lillie cries as she stretches her hand out to try and reach her brother. Faba remains frozen, once more, and just like before, the type null comes to the rescue. Only this time, it saves Lillie and sends the ultra beast fleeing.** _

_**Gladion cries as he rushes to grab his sister. He hastily thanks the ultra beast hunter, glares at Faba who calls out his Drowzee, but the type null roars. Gladion runs off, the type null protecting his back from Faba who scowls.** _

Burnet shakily rewinds. They watch again, Faba's excitement and then the utter terror that flashes across his faces as the ultra beasts swoops down. The way he freezes as Lillie is taken, same as what had happened to Guzma. Similar to what happened when he had taken Ash and Lillie.

How had they all missed this?

"We need to..." they had to tell Lusamine. And Kukui. And the kids. By the gods, how would she be able to tell them? Any of them?

Burnet has no idea how she made it home. She just knows that she had barely opened the door and had her arms full of crying kids.

* * *

Kukui was alerted to the fact that Burnet was home when both Ash and Lillie burst into tears at the same time and ran for the door. Gladion was running after them with alarm written on his face. The door opened and Kukui was frightened to see Burnet's disheveled look.

Her red rimmed eyes instantly teared up as Ash, Lillie and Gladion barreled into her and she fell apart sobbing broken apologies and pleas for forgiveness. 

Kukui gathers them all into his arms and tells them that he's here for them. He doesn't lie and say it will be okay, because they all have experience and know that it is an empty comfort. 

It takes a few minutes of reassuring them before Burnet was able to calm down. Ash looks seconds away from a panic attack, his eyes visibly flickering between his normal eye color and an eerie pulsating red. Lillie is sweating, clutching at her chest as if her heart is breaking. Burnet looks as if her heart has been broken, stomped on, run over and then spit on for good measure. Gladion wrapped his arms around both Ash and Lillie, holding them close and looking up at Kukui over their heads.

Pikachu and Snowy scramble onto their partner's laps and then Kukui scoops Burnet into his arms as she slowly falls catatonic. 

"I've got you, I've got you now." He murmurs into her forehead as he rests his lips there and carries her off to their room. Gladion stays put with Ash and Lillie in his arms.

Kukui gently deposits Burnet into bed, stripping her of her wet suit and tucks her in. He presses another kiss to her forehead as he smooths her hair back.

"I'll be right back." Her breath stutters, eyes closing as new tears slowly trickle down her cheeks and Kukui gently thumbs them away. "Promise, count to ten." Kukui bends down for another kiss and then makes his way to the door to find that Gladion had managed to get Ash and Lillie into the livingroom.

Gladion meets his gaze and shakes his head, Kukui smiles at him then makes his way to the cupboards and pulls out a jar of origami stars and picks out three. He makes his way to the kids, briefly resting his hands on their heads before handing them a star each.

For Gladion, it was **Kind.**

For Lillie, it was **Amazing.**

For Ash, it was **Caring.**

He returned to his room and curled around Burnet, gathering her into his arms and holding her until she could speak past the lump in her throat.

When ever it seems as if she is about to talk, she breaks down into tears and hides her face in his shoulder with murmured apologies. Kukui shushes her and tells her to take all the time she needed. 

She finally listens to him and stays curled up beside him. Kukui hums softly as he runs his fingers through her hair and simply waits.

He's very good at waiting.

"A few months after you left, i accidentally opened an ultra wormhole." Burnet begins in a soft hoarse voice. "Lusamine arrived a few hours later, Wicke and Faba accompanied her to Unova. They took me Aether, and opened up my eyes to the secrets of the ultra beasts." Kukui listens with rapt attention as Burnet tells him about everything she had learned. 

How Aether had offered to pay for her schooling and help her finish. How Faba, Kukui's heart hurt to hear her voice catch on his name, had taken her under his wing and helped her. That he had another research assistant that Burnet treated as a younger brother of sorts. How the two of them looked after pokemon and did joint research projects for Faba.

He presses a kiss to her forehead when her voice cracks at Faba's name.

"He was my friend and i had forgotten about him. Pushed it out of my mind and never questioned it. I never questioned it Kukui!" She sobs as she tugs at his labcoat. Kukui waits, he doesn't offer her any words, that isn't what she needs from him now.

"He was seventeen, he was seventeen years old and Faba... Faba!!!!" Her breathing picks up, he can hear her wheezing.

"Burnet, Burnet! I need you to focus on me." She meets his eyes, fingers spasming in his hold as he presses her palm to his chest and takes deep exaggerated breaths. Little by little she begins to follow him.

It's as Burnet is telling him about the boy she called 'G', because he would not give his name, that the kids slip into the room and crawl into bed around them. Burnet falters but Lillie settles her head onto Burnet's hip, Ash is sprawled across Kukui and Gladion, while Gladion is lying between them with one hand holding both Ash and Lillie. Kukui smiles and runs his fingers through Burnet's hair.

"His name," her voice quivers, "His name was Guzma and he was seventeen years old when Faba erased him from the memories of every Aether employee to hide the fact that he had opened an ultra wormhole and nearly had him killed. Instead, one of the type Null projects died saving him." Burnet stiffens, Kukui can feel everyone come to a standstill.

Gladion shows no outward reaction as he blinks slowly.

Lillie's expression gives way to sorrow, burrowing closer to Burnet and Burnet frees a hand to wrap around her.

Ash is sprawled across both Kukui and Gladion, Kukui can't see what expression he makes and neither can Gladion who now has his hand resting on Ash's back. But Pikachu's expression is positively stormy as he stares at Kukui.

"Nearly a day and a half later is when Lillie had the same experience and it would have happened again, but Silvally stood between you and him..." she exhales shakily, lips trembling and Kukui rubs her shoulder with one hand while the other rests on Gladion's head. "That's the real reason Type Null was punished." Kukui waits, patiently, for her to gather her thoughts. Ash shifts so that his head lays on Gladion's chest so he can see them all.

"You still can't remember, can you?" Ash stares at a spot between both Kukui and Burnet, Pikachu climbs onto his back with his arms crossed and ears twitching.

"No. Wicke and I found out through the video archives." Ash shifts his attention to Burnet, he stares without judgement as he asks his next question.

"You don't want to remember do you." That catches Kukui's attention. It catches everyone's attention and Burnet, so tired of crying, sheds no more tears and shrugs.

"That doesn't make you a horrible person." Ash huffs, and wiggles around until he is lying on his back with Pikachu splayed across his stomach, Gladion's hand in both of his. "It's okay to not remember, or want to remember." Kukui holds his tongue, he wants to see where Ash is going with this.

"Anakala doesn't blame you, and he's moved on already, even if it's something terrible that happened to him." Ash meets Burnet's tired gaze without flinching. "It's sad and it _hurts,_ but it didn't happen a third time and will _never_ happen **again."** He says firmly.

Kukui remembers Ash being unresponsive, Lillie's bruised and battered face, Gladion's tears, and Delia's understanding expression once her fury cleared.

* * *

Gladion watches Burnet sleep. Kukui is silent and thoughtful, Lillie watches them with concern. Ash hasn't moved from his position and stares at the ceiling.

"Did you know your eyes turn red sometimes?" Gladion blurts out, Ash turns to face him, his eyes are red. Gladion takes a picture, Ash peers at the phone with curiosity before he sits up.

"That's new. I should tell Clemont." He stares at the phone blankly before fidgeting with it for a moment before sighing.

"I left my phone in my room." Gladion snickers, which sets off Lillie and Kukui. Gladion was just _waiting_ for the day that Ash left his phone behind at Anakala's place.

Ash grumbles but gets out of bed heading to his room before coming back with all their pokemon and Mew. He's on his phone, his eyes no longer red as he takes a seat on the bed and lays his head on Gladion's stomach while stretching his legs so the rest on Kukui's hips as he curls up.

"It's probably a side effect." He says blandly, but his hands shake as he curls up a little more. Gladion takes Ash's hat off to rest his palm on Ash's head. He's quiet after that.

Gladion jerks awake, Kukui apologizes softly as he ruffles his hair softly telling him to go back to sleep. Gladion sighs, he already knows that he won't. He checks on the others and sees them all fast asleep. 

Gladion sees Ash's phone light up and grabs it, he has an email notification. Gladion shrugs and sets the phone back down.

He watches the ceiling as he thinks about what Burnet had told them. He ponders his childhood.

All this time Guzma thought he had been left alone. That he had _no one_ looking out for him, and that colored his view on people ever since. Had seen that Gladion was picking up his habits and tried to correct that but the damage was done.

Gladion didn't trust easily.

Very rarely forgave anyone.

But when he trusted, he trusted with his whole being.

Gladion looks down when Ash shifts, his eyes open, his brows furrowed in thought.

"An ultra beast?" Gladion asks, Ash shrugs as he rubs his eyes. He looks up with a grumpy little frown and burrows under the blankets. Gladion watches in complete silence, he groans a little before falling still. A minute, possibly two minutes later he sits up.

"Ok." He says as he lies down, Gladion settles his hand back onto Ash's head and he relaxes. Lillie shifts a little closer but sleeps on. Gladion runs his fingers through Ash's hair until he is comfortable and sleepy again. 

Then he shoots up throwing his hands into the air.

"Fine!" He storms off, Gladion watches Mew float after him then ponders aura and its uses and how wielders can literally not help but be aware of everything. It must be hard.

Ash comes back with Mewtwo. The legendary follows behind without struggling sitting down to meditate with Ash. Well at least he did have a way to rest without sleeping.

Burnet wakes up and they do not have a good time.

She seemed to think they blamed her. That she was guilty.

"You're not listening!" Gladion blurts out furiously. His eyes sting as he watches her lay guilt and blame onto her shoulders. Why wasn't she listening?!

Nothing they said could persuade her of that, even Ash was drawn into it as he was abruptly pulled from meditation.

"Burnet-hakase." Gladion looked at Ash in surprise at his serious tone. He didn't move towards her, he remained seated on the floor and waited for her to look at him. 

His eyes focused on her, but Gladion could feel Ash reach out to offer him comfort. It was strange, alien in the way that Mewtwo spoke directly into their minds. And yet he never felt more at peace.

"No one ever got mad at me for what happened in my last league tournament. For not going back, or avoiding everything about it." Burnet stares, Gladion watches Lillie hold onto Burnet and smile at Ash.

"Sometimes it hurts and we feel guilty for things that aren't _our_ fault." Gladion has learned a lot from watching Ash talk Lillie through learning to touch pokemon again.

He was patient and kind, he knew when to back off and when to push.

But kindness could also be cruel.

"You don't have to remember anything you don't want to. You can be scared, you can cry but you are not to _blame."_ He speaks calmly, logical in every sentence he speaks. He meets Burnet's eyes, never once straying away and it makes Gladion wonder how he was so good at talking someone down from a ledge of their own making.

He wonders how many times he had to talk himself down.

"You aren't lost. Nothing has to change from the way things are now." He says soothingly, speaking softly as Burnet sits up. Lillie remains where she is, she continues holding Burnet's hands.

"This may seem a little cruel," Ash says as he finally breaks eye contact. "But for Anakala, the time you don't remember, passed a long long time ago." Gladion sits up and moves to Burnet's other side and leans against her.

"He's right." Gladion knows that Anakala was healing from his past, and the pain that had happened. He was letting it go and not looking back.

"Sometimes its easier to move on then it is to look back. You're not running away, you're not burying the pain. It's acceptance of what has passed and your role in it." Pikachu is holding Ash's hand, Ash smiles, its full of remorse.

"Burnet-hakase, can i hug you?" Gladion smiles when she tears up and nods, Ash climbs to his feet and crawls onto the bed to hug them all.

It feels like sitting under the sun.

"Hate to break up the hug fest, but have room for one more?" Ash's hand shifts on Gladion's back and Kukui laughs as he climbs onto the bed behind them. Kukui's arm wrap around his back, around Ash's back and come to rest on Lillie's head.

Gladion loves his family. He loves how they fill in missing pieces, as if they were always meant to come together.

Gladion is exhausted when he comes home, the Xurkitree has been an experience. And he really needed to help Kalani with her fear of loud noises. Silvally nudges his back, Gladion spots Ash on the floor surrounded by his pokemon at two in the morning.

He didn't know what was going on, but he knows that Ash was not in a good place right now. He's sitting on the floor holding his ankles as his knee bounces off the floor.

His eyes are red again.

His phone was on the floor beside him as he used Kukui's laptop, Pikachu sat on his shoulder looking at the screen with worry written plainly on his face. Ash shuts the laptop and buries his hands in his hair. His knee bounces on the floor at a faster pace.

"He's _coming. He's **coming**_ Pikachu." Gladion looks up towards the loft to see that Lillie is still asleep, and that Kukui and Burnet haven't come down the hall.

Gladion makes sure that Ash can hear his footsteps when he nears him and drops into a crouch.

"Ash?" Red eyes meet his, it was a bright vivid red that he could still see whenever he blinked. He calls Ash's name again and waits patiently for him to _look_ at him. Ash sees him, grabs hold of Gladion's outstretched hand and cries.

"I'm scared." He whispers, Gladion sits down and pulls Ash close before leaning back into Charizard. Ash doesn't resist, he curls closer and shakes. 

"I'm not ready." He chokes out, Gladion listens and waits for Ash to talk about what is scaring him. 

It's around five in the morning when Ash says a name and flinches into himself. Gladion tightens his hold and rubs his hand on Ash's back.

"You don't have to see him if you don't want to. He hasn't earned your forgiveness." Ash nods, hands clenched tightly on Gladion's hoodie. Burnet creeps in with Kukui, they share a worried look but stay put when Gladion shakes his head.

Ash doesn't retreat into himself when they head to school. He hugs Poipole and Scraggy close when they head for school. He practices his parts in the school play, asking for input from the Guardian Deities. Which was always going to be mind boggling. Particularly when he could bodily evict them from the school when they over stayed their welcome.

Poipole even got a part in the play as a shooting star that fell to earth. Ash helped make their costume, he was very good at making costumes.

"May and Dawn taught me a lot about costumes. Jessie and James too. James is the only who isn't a coordinator though." Ash explains as he slaps Kiawe's hand away from the mane he was adjusting. Gladion takes off his costume and slips his hoodie back on when James has deemed his costume a good fit.

"Places people. One last run with costumes." Jessie says as she smack the rolled up script into her palm. Kukui is checking the lighting while texting Burnet.

"Has anyone seen the staff?" Lillie calls out, Ash jumps and shifting guiltily. Gladion doesn't point him out, Meowth bats at the staff half heartedly, Bewear sits behind him and stands guard.

"Ya can have yer staff back twerp." Gladion picks the staff up and makes his way towards Lillie, her hat sits crookedly on her head. He adjusts it and passes her the staff with a teasing grin. She pouts, cheeks puffed out and marches back towards Mallow to practice dancing.

Gladion makes his way over to Kukui and sits down on a chair beside him. Kukui looks over, fidgets with his phone and sighs a little.

"Burnet is doing okay, she and Wicke are going to wait until Lusamine is out of the hospital to tell her about Faba." Gladion nods as he remembers Anakala telling them about his life. The good and the bad.

"He had a good life there before it went to shit." He tells Kukui as he hugs his knees, Kukui's breath catches. He clears his throat, wiping his eyes.

"That's." His voice cracks. "That's good." Gladion thinks about how Anakala had told him he had found a good parental unit. How he hid Kukui's third job for him when he was stupid and how he helped Ash and Lillie when they grew wary.

"He doesn't hate you _hate you,_ you know." Kukui looks at him, Gladion wonders sometimes, how people can be so blind.

Then he thinks it's because they _care too much_ and their feelings blind them from truth.

"He's angry though." Kukui laughs wetly as if he didn't need to have that explained to him.

"He showed up to your wedding." Gladion turns on his chair so his back is to Kukui, he leans against him so he can cry in peace. Lillie and Ash glance his way, smiling when they see he had everything covered.

"Places people, one last run through for today and tomorrow you have your play!" Gladion watches everyone get into place and grins when he realizes that Ash is going to get stage fright again.

"And opening scene!"

Gladion passes Ash's mother the camera and makes his way to the stage. Ash is running in a circle panicking and muttering to himself. Everyone looks nervous.

"Hey, we've had a month of practice." He reminds them all and for the most part it seems to relax some of them. Ash fidgets and hurriedly reads through his script with Pikachu, Mew and Scraggy around his shoulders. Poipole is dancing and admiring its costume.

"Okay Poipole, you go on when Mallow tells you to." Poipole nods, Kukui gives them thumbs up as he turns on the lights.

There's a round of applause. The play had gone off without a hitch. Aside from Ash forgetting his lines, Kiawe getting his thunder stolen and Poipole randomly floating across the stage.

Gladion grins when he sees Guzma with his phone held up. He wonders if anyone else had noticed him. He snickers as a bouquet is tossed onto the stage.

He sneaks out while everyone is distracted and thinks to himself about checking his social media later on.

"Not going to sleep?" Ash looks up from brushing Lycanroc's fur. He shrugs, looking jittery as he resumes grooming his pokemon.

"You're going to have a lot of allies on your side." Ash blinks, humming as if he had only realized that now. He doesn't look as if he'll be going to sleep anytime soon but at least he looks less jittery. Pikachu shoots him an approving look. Gladion opts to sleep downstairs for tonight and makes himself comfortable beside Ash.

"Wake me up if you need anything." Silvally nods in agreement and settles down beside him while Umbreon, Lycanroc, and Zoroark settle down opposite of him. 

Gladion opens an eyes when Lillie curls up against his back and shifts his blanket to cover her a little more.

Gladion blearily looks down at his feet and sees Ash's hand. He glances at Ash to see that he is holding up his phone, Silvally is staring off into the distance but hasn't deemed to wake him up.

"Ultra beasts?" He yawns as he sits up, Ash shakes his head.

"No, it's just... it's been almost ten minutes since it opened and it's pretty small. Mewtwo is investigating it." Gladion nods and takes out his phone, checking on the ultra beast network.

"Did you want me to stay awake?" Ash shrugs and hands him his phone. Looks like Anakala is aware and waiting for a response from Mewtwo's investigation. Its four in the morning.

"I can stay up." Ash gets up and makes his way to the kitchen where he set some water to boil. He makes himself and Gladion a cup of tea before he sits back down.

They pass then next twenty minutes fighting laughter as they watch Team Skull fail videos. Gladion's reason for laughter is two fold, as Ash still doesn't put two and two together.

"That kinda looks like Shady house." Ash points out as a kitchen fire breaks out and Kalani runs from the kitchen screaming with Kai while Plumie is heard in the background cursing up a storm with a fire extinguisher.

"That kinda sounded like Plumie!" He whisper shouts before tilting his head and Gladion thinks to himself, this is it.

"It closed. But several smaller ones are opening up one after the other and closing just as fast." Gladion closes YouTube and looks at the tracking network to see that Ash is right. It's just a straight line cutting across Mele Mele.

And they've stopped. He looks to Ash, Ash stares back with a confused expression. They wait and watch but it seems to have come to a stop on it's own.

_**It seems that no intervention was needed, i will return shortly. I have spoken with the one called Anakala as well.** _

Gladion is not sure if he is ever going to get used to that, but he doesn't mind it if it is not bad news.

"Are you going back to sleep?" Gladion smiles and leans back against Silvally as he pulls YouTube back up. He settles down next to him giggling as Bane public shames his pokemon and is shamed in return.

"Wait, that video." Ash points to one of the videos on his recommended feed. Is that Jessie and James?

"I remember this! Brock helped them make this video!" It's a tutorial for magic tricks. Though James is disguised the whole time.

"Pikachu's in the background." Ash explains when Gladion looks at him, Ash was kind of face blind sometimes.

He watches Pikachu eat ketchup in the background, someone is giggling in the background the whole time. Gladion clicks onto the Me0wth_corner channel and finds several videos with views in the billions.

He clicks on one and sees Ash, Ash starts laughing into his hands when he sees the video that Gladion put on.

"They recorded that?!" He snickers and has to look away as he begins to wheeze. Gladion watches the video and then questions Ash's upbringing.

"Why did you- how old were yo- wha-" Gladion can't wrap his head around the smaller Ash trying to fist fight Breloom and needing to be dragged away.

The fact that he had to be dragged away.

Gladion finds himself morbidly curious and types Ash's name into the search engine.

And loses several years of his life in the next two hours it takes for Burnet and Kukui to wake up.

Gladion sits with his fingertips pressed together in front of his mouth. He inhales, looks at Ash, looks away and exhales. 

He tries again as Burnet makes coffee in the background and Ash smiles as if nothing is wrong. He looks away again.

No wonder he rarely finds anything out of the ordinary. What even is his life?

"I'm going to pretend this all has a rational explanation, and when you tell Lillie and I about your adventures later..." Gladion thinks about several people in the videos beside Ash that either face palmed or rushed after him. "I'm going to smack some damn self preservation into you until you learn." Ash smiles at him as if to say good luck and Gladion smacks him on principle.

Ash laughs and takes his cup to the kitchen. Gladion sends the playlist he created to Anakala in revenge.

Ash was going to learn self preservation if it was the last thing he ever did. He makes sure to send a heads up text to Gary Oak. _Good luck=p_

Gladion ignores his response and nudges Lillie awake. She looks confused for a seconds before she realizes where she is. She makes her way to the restroom and Gladion 

Gladion was going to train with Hau and when he was done he was going to break into Aether with Lillie and make damn sure that no one made his brother feel scared.

And _maybe_ he would punch a face if he had to. When Ash wasn't looking. Of course.

 _Maybe_ Gary would help him with that.

* * *

Willow has always wanted to come to Alola. It was quite beautiful this time of year. Blanche, Candela and Spark had accepted his invitation to accompany him and were currently relaxing on the beach. Well, Blanche was surfing but she was having fun.

"Join us Professor Willow, you're going to be stuck indoors for the next week." Spark wheedles from his beach blanket. Willow looks at him pouting and smiles.

"Why not?" He stretches out beside him and watches Candela build a sandcastle, or rather a sand sculpture.

"You're going to be beautiful!" Spark praises the egg on his lap as his Raichu rubs the egg.

Yeah, this was a good spot for relaxing.

Willow is strolling through the market in search a good place to buy drinks and spots a fellow gentleman.

"Excuse me sir, but do you- oh. You're quite young." He says in surprise when he sees a young face under the stark white and black hair. The kid stares at him, slowly looks up at his hair and bristles.

"I'm not an old fart like you." He says and Willow laughs. Kid had a lot of spunk, he can't help but ruffle his hair.

"You've got a good head on your shoulders." He huffs and knocks Willow's hand off his head.

"I don't need you to tell me that." Willow digs in his pockets and passes the kid a pokemon candy, the kid blinks at it.

"Thanks?" Willow smiles and moves on his way in search of a place to buy drinks.

He hears laughing behind him and peeks over his shoulder to see another kid laughing at the one with similar hair style as him. She pinches the kid's cheek and flicks her pink and blonde hair over her shoulder.

"Candela you're in charge. Spark, keep an eye on your pokemon and Blanche..." Willow sighs as she is no longer standing beside Spark. "Make sure Blanche spends some time out of the water." Spark salutes him as Candela murmurs an agreement.

"Time for the meeting of the century." He rubs his hands together and wonders how he can get his hands on some of that tracking software Burnet mentioned in her email.

And then he wonders when he should bring in his top three trainers and reveal their status as chosen to the archipelago trio.

Hold on. Didn't Professor Oak say that he would be meeting another chosen?

* * *

Ash doesn't like Aether.

Ash doesn't like Lusamine.

Ash is _sitting_ in a conference room in _Aether._

Thankfully Lusamine is not allowed in because she does not have the credentials despite running Aether and conducting research.

He wonders if he would have chosen to stay home if she had been allowed access. Or rather, been made to stay home because she would be allowed in. Doesn't really matter at this point because he was here and she was not.

Despite her knowing more about the ultra beasts, she wasn't going to be allowed to attend because she was still recovering. And everyone with eyes could see that she was still obsessed with the ultra beasts _and_ Ash.

More recently Ash was the center of her obsession because of Poipole. Not that Ash wanted to even know that. Just being in the same vicinity as her gave him the shivers.

Poipole spins in the air above him, carefree as can be and no longer sad.

So here Ash is, sitting in a chair in a conference room at Aether with Kukui-hakase and Burnet-hakase. Lillie was at school while Gladion was given a pass to go to the school if he wanted too, though Ash has no doubt that he was on Poni island training with Hau. 

He spins in his chair, watching the world swirl, Pikachu's a streak of yellow as he spins. He can see a blur of orange beside him on his next spin. And little by little there is more and more color until he sticks his foot out and stops spinning.

Not that _he_ personally stops spinning.

"Maybe you should hold off on spinning around again, whattaya say buddy?" Ash hums, holding his head while Kukui-hakase passes by him to set a tablet down before each of the chairs on the table.

Burnet-hakase was taking things one day at a time, Ash was happy to offer that advice. He was not happy that he became the center of attention because of that.

Pikachu and Scraggy climb onto his chair as he slumps over one of the arms and boredly drags his fingernail along the clothed armrest. Ash glances upwards when he senses the approaching pokemon, Sam's presence is the strongest amongst them.

"Sam's here." He can feel the interest from Kukui-hakase and Burnet-hakase as they set up food and water on tables to the side of the room. "Gary's here too." There's a spike of irritation and amusement from Kukui-hakase and Burnet-hakase. He hums thoughtfully at that. He still doesn't know what that was about, but if no one was getting hurt then he would leave it be.

Ash remains where he is, foot pushing him back and forth in a half circle as he waits for the meeting to start.

"Pikapi." Pikachu sounds exasperated as he tugs on Ash's ear, Ash sulkingly pulls his legs up with a huff. 

"Everything's prepared. We have the files from Rotom, from Aether and from the ultra guardians all compiled. Food, and water for the attendees and their pokemon, as well as dockets prepared for the professors and their assistants." Kukui-hakase tales a deep breath. "I think we have everything."

Ash shuts his eyes, he's exhausted, but he _can't sleep._ He opens his eyes and rubs his face, a yawn catching him by surprise.

"Are you sure you don't want to take a nap in a separate room?" Kukui-hakase asks, Ash thinks about, he really does, then shakes his head as he glances over to Bayleef. She's already using aromatherapy, but the chance of having nightmares was too strong to take the chance of a nap.

He hugs Pikachu and Scraggy closer and slumps back into his chair. Charizard is sleeping in the corner with Torracat now that he's stopped spinning.

"Ash, can i give you a hug you?" Ash blinks a few times before he actually registers Kukui-hakase's words, meanwhile Kukui-hakase waits patiently beside Lycanroc. Kukui-hakase smiles at him as Ash lowers his feet to the floor he takes a single step forward and just falls limply against him. A hand comes up and taps his hat while the other pats his back twice before loosely settling across his shoulders.

Ash remains where is he is as the door opens and Gary arrives, making a clicking sound as he makes his way towards a chair near Ash and Kukui-hakase. He can feel the glares Kukui and Gary share even if they have no ill intent for one another.

"Hi Gary." Ash huffs as he stands up and falls down into his chair, slumping down in it. 

"Nice to see you to Ashy, thought for a second there that, this guy wouldn't let anyone see you." Kukui-hakase says nothing, eyebrow twitching as he stands beside Ash while Burnet stands at the head of the table. Before anyone can respond the door opens and Sam steps in with Professor Willow, both laughing. Tracey trails in behind them as he speaks to someone on the phone.

"Gary, Ash!" He smiles at them and waves, Professor Willow spots Ash and makes a beeline towards him and his pokemon. Ash peeks at Kukui-hakase, who stands in front of him and remains where he is.

"So this is the Lycanroc, yes, i see the different coloring. May I?" He asks as he kneels before Lycanroc, Lycanroc sits beside Ash wagging his tail, excitement thrums throughs his veins, he nods as he turns a little to watch. Lycanroc's head is held gently between two palms, his head is gently turned this way and that while he is praised for being well behaved. 

Scraggy climbs up and moves to sit on his shoulder, Ash leans forward and rests his hand on Lycanroc's back. ~~_He was a very good boy, so patient and well behaved._~~ The excitement rocketed and his tail began wagging even harder, his whole body wagging as he felt Ash's emotions. Ash laughed, Lycanroc barking and pulling his head free to lick Ash's face. 

Ash is laughing, trying to hold Lycanroc back from licking him, he can hear laughter around him. Poipole is giggling above him, he can hear whispers but they fade.

"Very good boy." Ash manages to finally get Lycanroc under control by crushing him to his chest as he slips off his chair and onto the floor. When he glances up, he sees Professor Rowan, Professor Elm, Professor Birch and Professor Juniper, they each greet him from afar. He smiles and waves back, feeling guilty that he is the reason for their distance.

Tracey simply waves at him and makes his way towards Gary, the two strike up a conversation.

"Oh, Ash!" Professor Elm digs through his satchel and pulls out a photo, passing it to Bayleef who handed it to Ash. It was a Tyranitar, it was smiling widely, standing before Mt. Silver.

"Larvitar evolved!" Ash hurriedly turned to his pokemom, showing them the picture, Professor Elm smiled fondly.

"Larvitar has come a long way." Ash feels pride for the small rock type that had once been afraid of humans.

Ash looks up at Professor Elm, he smiles softly as he nods and moves away.

_Oh._

If larvitar could do it, then so could Ash. Lillie had done it too. Ash was going to be okay, he had so many people looking out for him, helping him.

Ash sits up, petting Lycanroc when he feels an unfamiliar presence, Sam seems to notice as he stands up and makes his way to the door.

"Professor Sakuragi, thank you for joining us." Ash looks at the man with short maroon hair and green eyes hidden behind a pair of rectangular glasses. He feels calm. 

"Professor Oak!" He smiles, hand outstretched to shake hands. They exchange pleasantries, Professor Oak introducing him to the other Professors. Gary kicks at the floor, his chair rolls closer towards Ash with a bored look on his face.

"He's from Kanto, and he studies everything about pokemon and their relationship to the world." Ash scrutinizes the man as slowly he comes closer towards Ash, Gary, Tracey, and Kukui-hakase. 

The two Professors come to a stop before Kukui-hakase, they make no move to step closer he relaxes a little.

"Thank you for having me here, Professors Burnet and Kukui. Good to see you again young Professor Oak, and it's a pleasure to meet you as well Ash." Ash waits for the others to finish responding before he gives his own greeting.

"It's nice to meet you too Professor Sakuragi! These are my partners, Lycanroc, Scraggy, Rowlet, Bayleef, those two over are Charizard and Torracat, Poipole and this is Pikachu!" They all give off a sound of acknowledgement, aside from the sleeping fire types.

"I see, it's very nice to meet all of you." The Professor pats his pokemon aside from Pikachu, Scraggy and Lycanroc who are piled on top of him. Poipole dances out of reach which is fine for the small ultra beast.

"When you're ready, i hope you come to study beside me one day." Ash nods, looking to Sam who smiles at him. 

"I look forward to working with you someday." He can feel pride, so much pride and not just from one person, but from everyone around him. Ash tugs his hat down and focuses on petting Lycanroc. Poipole goes around and introduces themself to the Professors.

Ash was bored again. _**Concern**_

Spinning round and round. _**Alarm, presence closing in.**_

Gary's feet knocking into his with every turn as he slumps into his seat with a tablet in hand. _**Inquiry.**_

Round and round he goes, faces and surroundings blurred. _ **Anger, betrayal, hatred.**_

He can feel Kukui-hakase's exasperation and digs his toes into the carpet until he comes to a slow stop.

_**Soft regret, compassion.** _

The room continues to spin but Ash doesn't mind. _**Not alone.**_

It's a nice distraction from the crawling sensations going up his spine. _**Anticipation, anxiety.**_ His foot is lightly kicked, he glances at Gary who frowns heavily and flips his tablet. _ **Feeling of being one.**_

Ash blinks, his eyes are glowing red. _**Surprise.**_

He shuts his eyes, he can feel Greninja's anger and worry, all the myriad of emotions as A̵̜̦̘͓̾͌̊l̴̠̥̀̄̉̅a̵͒̕̚͜͝i̶̪̫̞͝ṋ̷̡̽̈́ steadily makes his way to the room. He presses his hands to his face and breathes.

He can hear the door open, then the sound of soft greetings and a foot nudges his shin. Ash peeks throughs his fingers and sees that Gary has shifted his chair to cover Ash. _**'Stick close to kin, away from the betrayer.'**_

Ash doesn't know if he was ready to see A̵̜̦̘͓̾͌̊l̴̠̥̀̄̉̅a̵͒̕̚͜͝i̶̪̫̞͝ṋ̷̡̽̈́, he knows that Greninja and Pikachu wouldn't let him either. And neither would Gary after Ash had broken Sam's screen when he saw him standing behind Professor Sycamore. Gary doesn't know, couldn't possibly know and yet, he firmly planted himself on Ash's side and made sure that Ash was kept far away from him. 

_"If someone hurt you... and never apologized for it..." Ash begins, fingers dancing across his z ring. "Would it still be okay if you know they hadn't meant to hurt you in the first place?" Pikachu puts his paws on Ash's hands and shakes his head._

_"Forgiving someone is a hard thing to do for some people." Gladion says softly, remorse in his eyes. "And other people find it easy to forgive those who have wronged them. But that doesn't mean it's right or simple." Gladion unfolds the letter and straightens it as much as he can._

_"You have a big heart Ash. And you're so very kind, giving yourself away with reckless abandon. But Ash..." Gladion looks up at Ash. "Forgiving someone who has hurt you deeply enough that you still have those wounds now, even though they haven't apologized, isn't forgiveness. You're taking the blame for everything onto yourself, when you did nothing wrong."_

Ash hadn't done anything wrong.

He's never realized that until now.

He should have, but then that would have meant acknowledgement of what happened to him. _**Yes** **. Truth, trust, belief.**_

The anger slowly recedes, and Ash is able to breathe without an iron weight in his chest. Ash sees that Pikachu is on his lap, sparking and growling softly under his breath.

Ash cuddles Pikachu, snickering under his breath when Pikachu melts sending him a look of fond exasperation. 

"Hi Professor Sycamore, A̵̜̦̘͓̾͌̊l̴̠̥̀̄̉̅a̵͒̕̚͜͝i̶̪̫̞͝ṋ̷̡̽̈́." His mouth tastes like dust and his ears fill with static for a second but Ash thinks its worth it to keep the looks of worry off everyone's faces. He can feel the looks of skepticism from his pokemon and Gary, but they won't call him out. Tracey would no doubt be speaking with Gary later on.

Ash takes his seat beside Gary as the meeting is finally called to order. He keeps his eyes averted from Alain, even if he finally understands what his pokemon had been trying to tell him.

Greninja still was full of fury. His eyes changing color was still new to him though.

"Okay, now that we are all here, and have introduced ourselves, Burnet and I will call a start to this meeting." Kukui-hakase says from the head of the table beside Burnet-hakase. She smiles and begins by showing them photos of UB-01, Symbiont the Nihilego. Ash flinches, Gary abruptly looks away with a scowl and begins to angrily type away on his tablet.

Ash pointedly looks at his tablet, and minds his own business while they discuss the UB-01, he really hated that one. As did Lillie and Gladion. There were absolutely no good memories with this particular ultra beast and Ash wanted to stay as far away from it as he could.

It terrifies him in a way that not even that _man_ could.

"It was about fourteen years ago that the ultra beasts were discovered by Lusamine and her husband Mohn. One day an ultra wormhole opened in the control room and Mohn vanished." Ash briefly thinks about their time in ultraspace. The void with no life signs aside from theirs. Nothing felt similar to Lillie or Gladion, could Mohn have escaped?

"Lusamine threw herself into the study of the ultra beasts and a few years later is when i come in. While i was still in school in Unova, one of my projects opened an ultra wormhole, Lusamine detected the portal and flew to Unova. From there i was taken back to Aether and given the full story of the ultra beasts." Burnet showed them the video of Mohn's disappearance. Ash looked away from the grief filled cries.

"There was... there was an employee who worked for Aether." Burnet's voice wavers, Kukui-hakase and Ash glance at her. She shakes her head and clears her throat.

"He tried opening and ultra wormhole and succeeded at the cost of his research assistant and one of his projects created to combat the ultra beasts. It was called Type Full, and his assistant was... he was a seventeen year old boy who had suffered so much." her voice cracks yet that doesn't halt her as she takes a deep breath. Burnet plays the video while Ash makes his way to his pokemon. 

Anakala had thanked him for not asking, a few months ago. Ash would not look now. He won't betray his trust like this, Anakala had already told him once before about what happened. Now he knows why Burnet-hakase didn't know react to him.

"Pikapi?" Ash scratches Pikachu under the chin and listens to Torracat purring like an engine.

"He repeated his test and this time the daughter of Lusamine was nearly abducted. Her encounter with UB-01 left her with pokephobia that plagued her for over ten years until she was able to overcome her fears when Faba tried to repeat his experiment a few months ago." Ash can sense the stares aimed at him and pointedly continues to pay attention to his pokemon.

Poipole dances around Pikachu, Pikachu laughs and enjoys caring for the young ultra beast. Ash smiles and encourages him to play, Scraggy ends up playing tag with them.

"Lusamine was abducted as she protected her children and this ultra beast fused with her..." Ash can hear murmurs as Burnet-hakase pulls up video of the fusion. 

Kukui-hakase talks next, about Solgaleo, the Guardian Deities and their role in helping to open the ultra wormhole. The trip into ultra space and what it was made of.

Gary is on the floor beside him, leaning against Charizard as he flicks through the research. Ash appreciates his presence.

"The fusion was capable of attacking, but the attacks were not the same as regular pokemon attacks. For example the rock throw." Ash tunes out again, the feeling of the void reaching out, draining him.

The feeling of corrupted aura, twisted and dulled until Ash couldn't even tell apart people from pokemon. The agony and despair he felt whenever Lusamine used that hyperbeam variant or that corrosive sea.

A hand rests on his elbow, Ash grabs hold of the hand and focuses on his pokemon. Gary will let him know when this talk about Lusamine was over.

He could handle the rest, not really, but it would be easier to handle than hearing about the first ultra beast they encountered.

Scraggy is making himself comfortable on Torracat, it's actually kind of cute. Rowlet is snoozing between Charizard's horns. 

Ash feels sleepy too, but he was not going to be able to sleep. At least he wouldn't be able to sleep without nightmares until this conference was well and truly done.

He is highly aware of the letter in Kukui-hakase's pocket. He wonders if he will ever be able to open it.

"There are several type of ultra beasts that we've encountered after this one. From what Mewtwo has told us, the fabric between our two realms has become frayed."

"And that was when Lusamine created the the Ultra Guardians. Gladion, Lillie, Lana, Mallow, Kiawe, Sophocles, Hau and Ash make up the Ultra Guardians." Ash looks up when he feels the disbelief and worry coming off everyone. 

Ash blinks, Charizard snorts loudly catching everyone's attention for a brief moment. Ash uses that moment to look offended while Gary smirks at him. Ash pouts, Pikachu is fully offended as well and shows it by sparking when the Professors turn to look at Ash.

"Ash helps when the other kids need the help, and we have a few others that volunteer while the kids are in school or when they turn in for the night." Kukui-hakase hastily explains when some glares are leveled his way. And Ash is vividly reminded that these Professors see him as their assistant/nephew. That he was a kid when he met most of them.

And they were aware of the chaos that followed after him. Of course they would worry.

Especially because his last journey had severely affected him when nothing else had. Ash could understand their concerns now.

The hand on his elbow tightens reminding him to focus on his pokemon.

"Now we have had some trouble with UB-01 Nihilego, it's highly resistant to nearly all pokemon attacks and is extremely difficult to subdue." They mention its typing as rock and poison.

Ash ignores the feeling of cold tentacles wrapping around him. He ignores the memories of Lillie's fear and Gladion's anger. He pushes back the nausea at the thought of himself and Lillie being captured.

Of Mew and Mewtwo's psychic cries of pain.

He shudders, Charizard extends a wing pulling him close without opening his eyes.

"Now we'll be going in order of their appearances so far, any questions?" Everyone was silent and Kukui-hakase continues.

"This one is UB-02 Absorption Buzzwole, a bug and fighting type and while extremely powerful, it's suprisingly easy to get along with." Ash decides to try light meditation. 

Slowly cutting down his senses until all is silent, then opens his senses to his pokemon and Gary. Their presence like a soothing balm to his weary soul.

He basks in the glow of his companions. 

* * *

Kukui listens to Burnet with one ear, while he checks on Ash. Ash is hidden from view by his Charizard, Gary Oak sends a questioning look his way. Then he smirks and settles closer to the pokemon that shield Ash, Kukui looks away.

He remembers the terror of the day Gary and Mewtwo told them about the veil between realities thinning. He remembers that Lusamine had already predicted something similar happening which is why she had created the system to monitor the ultra wormhole energy.

Kukui had initially been against having the children deal with anymore of the ultra beast business. But then Lusamine had told them things that not even Burnet knew. Like their connection with interpol. The people all over the world being abducted or slipping through tears in reality and straight into ultra space. Sometimes even the ultra deep sea that was home to the Nihilego. 

It had been news to them, that interpol had used these people they called 'Fallers' as bait to catch the ultra beasts.

That all of them were now considered 'Fallers' and would draw the ultrabeasts to them like dustox to flame.

It was frightening to know and Kukui wanted to do everything he could to protect his students and his kids. And if that meant creating a base of operations for the children to suit up in armor designed to protect them from ultra beasts.

Then he didn't have a choice.

He did have the choice of keeping Ash out of it. Ash had been through too much, has taken a long time to recover from what Faba had done. Sometimes he still couldn't be around them without getting antsy.

Kukui was not alone on the day he denied Lusamine. Burnet and all the kids, Ash included, had declined his help. Though Ash did speak up to say he would help when they truly needed it.

Gladion had brought over Hala's grandson, Hau was good with the two siblings. Even if Gladion was huffy around him sometimes.

Then Buzzwole had shown up. The large red and black ultra beast was strong and fast for its size. Ash's Charizard met it blow for blow, had Lillie not been there well, it might have been a long battle between the two. She had been able to reason with the ultra beast.

Buzzwole was possibly the only ultra beast that had not actually meant any harm. It had accepted their help in returning home. Celesteela too.

"The next Ultra beast we encountered was one that had fallen into Alola over two hundreds years ago and was the basis for one of Alola's fairy tales." Kukui and Burnet flip through the photos that Rotom had taken.

"It's pretty much unknown to us at this time but this is the basic profile we were able to create. UB-04 Blaster Celesteela, flying and steel type." Kukui looks at Gladion in the corner of one photo, looking pensive.

He remembers Gladion leaving that night and returning the next night looking more at peace with himself. He still wonders where he went and why Ash thought Scraggy was needed.

"Next are UB- burst Blacephalon, a fire and ghost type and UB-03 Lightning Xurkitree, an electric type. Two of them showed up within a day of each other." Kukui remembers that this is when Guzma came back into his life and took a stance.

How bad of a friend was he that he didn't even recognize him?

Joining the kids, and the kids were all suprisingly okay with it. Well, his kids, they convinced the others easily. He forbade all of them from coming out at night, instead taking the responsibility onto Team Skull's shoulders should an ultra beast appear at night.

Not that he said so, but it was easy to spot the reports about Team Skull.

The first thing he had done was yell at Kukui for being stupid and risking the education and health of children. Then accused him of exploiting them, which Kukui had felt at the time when he had grudgingly sent them off just before lunch. 

"The next ultra beast is UB-02 Beauty Pheromosa." Kukui starts, glancing at the photos behind him. The tall and thin ultra beasts was primarily white with some gold coloring.

The stick thin ultra beast was smirking as it held a z crystal. The next slide showed Meowth on the floor in tears.

"It secretes a pheromone we've never come across in the field of science. It used the pheromones to ensare an unsuspecting pokemon, despite this it almost seemed xenophobic." Kukui says, he can see the questioning looks on the other Professors faces and further elaborates on the ultra beast's attitude toward their world and more specifically the pokemon. The violent way in which it defeated pokemon and then how it had developed an interest in the z crystals.

"It pissed Ash off didn't it." Someone stated and then everyone seems to show pity at the photo of the Pheromosa. Kukui coughs and switches to the next profile, the Professors flip through a few more photos on their tablets. They can see the beat down that Pheromosa faced.

Kukui still couldn't get over it. He can count how many times he watched the footage and yet nothing seemed to click when he would look at Ash playing with his pokemon.

"There has been a few instances of these ultra beasts slipping into our world and while most of the ones we have witnessed have been quite harmless they are still dangerous." Kukui and Burnet go on to explain the various instances of ultra wormholes opening up and either being so small that nothing comes out or remaining open until some ultra beast exited.

And then they mentioned the other day.

"It might be an ultra Beast capable of opening ultra wormholes." Kukui speculates as they show on the map, the line cut across Mele Mele.

"And what of Ash's little friend?" Kukui glances at Ash who is covered by Charizard he spots Poipole and Pikachu playing.

"We have yet to see this particular ultra beast's abilities. At the moment we have taken to calling it Poipole, Ash seems to think this one is a young ultra beast." Everyone stares.

"Poi?" It stops in playing and watches them, it grins widely at them and then splatters paint onto the floor.

It draws Pikachu.

"That's new." Burnet comments dryly as she scribbles it down. Kukui snorts and clears his throat when he sees everyone looking at him.

"Ah, yes. So... we're open to question-" Kukui is cut off as a ball flies inches from his face just as the alarm blares.

Kukui looks to his left to see a beast ball falling and an ultra wormhole closing. He catches the ball and looks to Ash who Is scolding Poipole about painting on the floor and yes it is a good likeness to Pikachu.

There's laughter around the table, Ash looks up with furrowed brows. He huffs as he sits back down with a pout on his face, that morphs into confusion when he looks behind him. He pulls out his phone and then someone chokes.

"You actually got him a phone?!" Ash looks up with a quirked brow.

"I didn't want it." Then goes back to his phone and looks suspiciously at Gary who smirks at him. Ash mumbles something while he puts the phone away.

Kukui wonders if the other Professors only rsvp'd because Ash was attending. While they did seem interested in their presentation on the ultra beasts, their attention was split between that and Ash. Asking after him in between slides.

"How often do ultra beasts end up entering our world?" Kukui let's Burnet answer this one.

"Throughout the day we have four to nine ultra wormholes up, and throughout the week that equals between 20 to 60 ultra wormholes that open. Of that there are maybe 15 to 30 times there has been an ultra beast entering our world. And as we've said before, the ones that enter our world tend to be harmless there does seem to be some that mean harm. Particularly the Nihilego and Pheromosa." Burnet pauses for a second before glancing at him.

"Though there was one Buzzwole that did not go peacefully, it did get taken care of pretty quickly." Kukui shudders to think of what may have happened to Hau and Gladion had they not been covered by Guzma and Team Skull.

"I have a question." Kukui looks to Professor Sycamore, the man is looking at Ash. And while Ash looks his way, he doesn't actually _look_ at him or his assistant.

"I heard that Team Rocket was here. Have they become a problem in regards to trying to catch ultra beasts?" Ash waves a hand.

"Nah. Jessie and James helped us catch Pheromosa." He muttered something else under his breath with a particularly dark look. "Their on break anyways." He says as if that is that. And maybe it is as no one else questions it.

"Alright, we're breaking for lunch." Ash rises to his feet and makes his way out. Kukui watches as Professor Sycamore follows after him with a concerned frown.

* * *

Augustine follows behind Ash with worry in his heart.

"Ash." Ash pauses to look back at him then continues walking, Augustine follows after him thinking about the news that Clemont had delivered to him about Ash. About his bond with Greninja.

Augustine laughs when he sees three teenagers outside the building, flying on pokemon as they wave at Ash.

"That's Gladion and Lillie, Kukui-hakase's adopted kids. And Hau is related to Kahuna Hala but he's living with Kukui-hakase's brother, Anakala." Ash mutters under his breath, "Are they brothers?" Augustine smiles, Ash is still the same bright and kind hearted boy.

"How are you doing Ash?" Augustine slows his pace so that he can keep pace with Ash. But Ash was so small. He was several feet smaller than so many Kalosians. 

"I'm better." Ash says looking up at him, he does not meet his eyes. Augustine feels hurt for this child and wishes that he could make amends with him. If only he had seen Lysander for who he was, not the man he presented. If only he had reached out to Alain.

There was a saying about ifs and maybes.

"Ash." Augustine stops, Ash comes to a stop, he holds Scraggy and Pikachu in his arms. He takes a step closer to Ash and looks at his face. Ash looks away, Scraggy leers at him, Pikachu shows his displeasure by releasing harmless sparks.

"I know you don't hold me responsible for anything that happened, and that you won't accept my apologies." Augustine swallows as he remembers Ash collapsing after Zygarde had killed Lysander. How Alain had confessed that Lysander had hurt Ash and Greninja but never elaborated.

"You didn't do anything that needs to be forgiven." He murmurs lowly. 

"I should have looked into Lysander, but i didn't because i was blinded by our friendship." Augustine winces at the flinch Lysander's name had caused.

"You need to tell someone what happened." Ash turns to look at him so quickly that for a second Augustine worries about whiplash. His skin pales and Pikachu escapes from his hold to climb onto his shoulder. He hesitates to continue, but he remembers Alain's shaking voice as he came clean about everything.

About Lumiose tower, Zygarde, Lysander, the mega evolution energy he gathered, Ash's status as chosen and his bond phenomenon with Greninja.

"H-he..." Ash's voice cracks as his eyes fill with tears. "Told you." Augustine barely has a moment to react as Ash's legs give out, he carefully helps him to the ground, watching in horror as he begins to hyperventilate. Hyperventilate like the time he was made to speak with Officer Jenny about what happened. 

"Ash! Ash you need to slow your breathing." Augustine rests his hands on Ash's shoulders and takes a deep breath in, Ash shakes and tries to push him back. Augustine lets him and tries again to help him. He's crying, hands clenched to his chest.

Augustine looks to Pikachu for guidance, Pikachu is crooning and nuzzling his head to Ash's cheek. He keeps his hands to himself and tries to get Ash to slow his breathing until he finally matches Augustine's pace. He waits another minute before passing Ash his handkerchief.

Bright red eyes look at him, eyes he's seen when Greninja stopped by for visits. Eyes that Clemont had emailed him about.

"Alain wrote you a letter." Ash shakes his head with a sniffle. "Ash please." Ash shakes his head again, Augustine feels like crying.

Ash was hurt and alone with these memories for months. Nearly a _year!_ And he has told _no one_! Alain had told _no one!_ Lysander had done something that could never be forgiven to a god. And to a fourteen year old boy. A _child!_

Warmth slides down his cheeks and Augustine feels horrible when Ash grabs his hand.

"I never wanted to hurt anyone." He hiccups and it _hurts_ so _much_ more.

"You kept it secret because of Clemont and Bonnie." He whispers in horrified stupor, Ash shuts his eyes Augustine pulls him closer and holds him. He doesn't care that Pikachu is willing to shock him right now because Ash needs a hug and dammit he was going to give him one.

Ash's fingers grasp the lapels of his labcoat for once he's glad that he hadn't forgone wearing it as he was apt in doing.

"Ash you stubborn fool." Ash chuckles wetly. "You could've told me. You could've told me anything." Augustine can remember his injuries. How he disappeared and came back a few days later acting as if nothing was wrong as he helped out in anyway that he could.

Made Alain feel as if he had nothing to apologize for when he shouldn't have. Alain was his dearest student, but Alain had done wrong. He was making up for it now, and he was healing from what he'd done but it was still wrong.

Alain had betrayed Ash. Had hurt him, had stood aside when he was being hurt. Augustine loved Alain, and he'd be the first to admit that he could be overprotective of him. But Augustine knew the difference between what was right and what was wrong.

"Did you think i would not believe you?" Augustine cries, Ash shrugs and it is telling, a lot more telling than Ash would think.

 _"Child."_ He rests his cheek on Ash's head he shakily inhales. "Clemont told me about your eyes." Ash shrugs again, Augustine wishes Lysander had lived, if only to suffer for his sins.

"I'll be here when you want to talk, even if it's just to talk about the weather." Ash sniffles and wipes his face when he pulls back.

"Okay." Augustine doesn't push him, just helps him to his feet and watches as seconds later he is barreled over by the three teens he had seen outside. The three glare at him suspiciously and Augustine can't help but feel, _good,_ at least Ash has more people looking out for him.

"Thanks Sycamore-hakase." Augustine doesn't know what Ash is thanking him for but nods all the same as the kids bundle him off.

When Augustine turns around he sees Gary Oak and Kukui with their arms crossed. He has no idea how Kukui snuck up on him with that cast. 

"Can i help you gentlemen?" Gary Oak glares at him, his eyes fill with tears as he points.

"You knew." He sounds betrayed. "You _knew_ and didn't tell anyone?" He asks, voice raw with anguish and Augustine feels his heartbreak all over again.

"Ash swore Alain to secrecy, and Alain broke that trust. I wanted to know why Ash hadn't told anyone." Gary Oak swipes his hand across his face.

"Because Ash was protecting that fool! It was never a question of _why_ he was keeping it secret, it was always _who_ was he protecting?" Augustine had not known, of course his brother would figure it out. But not the whole picture.

"His friend from Kalos is the Lumiose gym leader." Gary Oak looked away from him, hands clenched into fists as he let out a harsh laugh.

"Of course he is." He bit out. He turned on his heel and went back down the hall.

"I'm not going to ask what happened. But i am going to ask that you keep your assistant away from Ash." Augustine nods, he would be keeping an eye on Alain. 

He could only hope that Clemont and Bonnie never found out what had transpired at the top of Lumiose tower. For all of his protective instincts over Alain and Marin, he was just as protective of Bonnie and Clemont after what they had gone through. Clemont could barely leave his gym without having a mental breakdown at the thought of leaving it unsecure for anyone to take over.

They were all still reeling from the consequences of the crisis. 

He and Kukui make their way back to the conference room and take their seats to eat. Alain is sitting in the corner not eating. _Again._ He sighs and takes his plate towards Alain and places it in his hands before making himself a new plate and taking a seat beside him.

"Eat all of it Alain." Alain looks vaguely ill but nods and slowly picks his way through the plate.

The Charizard in the corner is watching them. He has no doubt that the pokemon knows something, maybe not what happened but that Alain is a source of great discomfort to his trainer. It was obvious Charizard had opted to remain behind to make him feel safe by keeping an eye on the object of discomfort.

Ash returns a minute before their lunch ends he's with the same three teens as earlier. And Mew.

Mew is sitting on his head as if it had not taken years of searching for people to so much as get a glimpse of them. 

"I don't care if its funny, you can't go bothering people right now. This is an important meeting." Xerneas help them all, Ash was scolding the legendary.

He was-

And there were three professors that did not seem at all amazed by this. _Of course_.

"Holy Mew, It's a Mew." Make that four professors that knew, one of them being overly sarcastic. Said sarcastic professor wasn't even looking up to see Mew.

"Mew promises to behave..." Ash pauses and shuffles his feet. "As much as they can behave." Augustine smiles, Ash was truly an interesting child.

"Alright, now that the ultra beasts have been introduced, we'll be going over the beast balls, thd tracking network, the ultra wormhole generator and ultra space energy." Augustine glances over at Ash who is looking at the younger Professor Oak. He mutters something softly and points to the floor by him. The young Professor pulls his knee to his chest and murmurs something in return.

The teenagers are sitting on the floor behind him, one doing homework, one playing on his phone and one holding a tablet skimming over the information.

Beast balls are passed around the table.

"Now the beast balls are similar to the pokeballs, specially adapted to hold the ultra beasts whose energy signature is nothing like regular pokemon." Professor Burnet displays a graph showing the energy readings for an ultra beast versus the energy reading of Mew? And Victini? As well as energy readings from a Pikachu, Rowlet and Munchlax.

"That is quite the difference. But what are those points that match the ultra beast energy?" Professor Oak asks, Professor Kukui answers this question by putting up a new graph with a Kantonese Meowth, Bewear and Pikpek. No data point matches, similar to Victini's in that aspect.

"This is where the non disclosure documents you signed come in." He presses a button and the windows are shuttered, the door clicks shut while a new graph appears on screen.

"Ultra energy doesn't dissipate like regular energy. It binds to human and pokemon altering their energy readings. They then become what the interpol calls _'Fallers'."_ Shit. This just took a serious turn.

Wait.

Augustine looks to Ash who is spinning in his chair while holding his tablet to his arm rest. He doesn't seem to be paying attention but Augustine sees a glimpse of bright red flicker his way before vanishing when Ash's chair spun.

No one else is paying attention to Ash, except that they are. The younger Professor Oak seems to pick up on their not so subtle stares and sticks his leg out, Ash gradually slows until he faces the other way completely.

"Interpol has been using these _Fallers_ to lure out the ultra beasts in an attempt to catch and study them, but as the beast balls have only just been invented, they have been unsuccessful." Augustine can read between the lines.

"As such, the list of the people and pokemon the we are passing around will be the only time you see it. We are trying to protecting the children on the list." The paper is handed to the younger Professor Oak who doesn't bother looking and instead passes it on to Professor Rowan who immediately looks to the teenagers in the room with a look of horror. 

"We have been returning the ultra beasts back to the ultra world and have yet to hear anything from Interpol, though that is likely due to Lusamine's interferance." Professor Kukui explains as he moves onto the next slide.

"Now the ultra beast tracking software was created about thirteen years ago and each year it is updated." Professor Burnet's voice wavers briefly, her hands clench as she takes a deep breath. Ash's chair turns slightly, the other teens peer at her with looks of concern.

She clears her throat, unclenching her hands.

"There are still some errors to the software that can't be helped. Such as the time that the Geodude and Graveler were chased out of Wela volcano and created a magnetic interference." He can see the readings from the magnetic interference. 

"Is someone monitoring the network at all times?" Augustine asks, eyes flicker to Ash and jerk away as if they hadn't meant to. Ash's fingers dance on the tablet, he flicks his finger and the younger Professor Oak pushes his chair so that they can no longer see him. His eyes glare at the room in warning.

Augustine hadn't realized the paper had made its way to him until it was in his hand. He swallows down his inappropriate laughter as he sees all the names, the pokemon, the two legendary and one ultra beast legendary.

Alain reads the list, his eyes tear up, it takes a minute of whispered instructions to breathe for him to unfurl his fingers from their death grip on the paper.

He passes it on and bows his head over his knees as takes deep breaths. He rests his hand on Alain's back and wishes he had just left him at home. Both for his sake and for Ash's sake.

Ash couldn't even look at them. And Greninja had made it perfectly clear how he felt about Alain. 

Xerneas, how was he going to help Ash and Alain? He didn't want them suffering anymore. But was it up to him to help them?

Or was this something that they had to handle?

Whatever the case was, he was prepared to do whatever it took to help them. To try and soothe the wounds that his best friend had caused.

Lysander was no longer around the right his wrongs, but Augustine was.

By Yvelta, it was hard.

Watching Diantha and Steven face the council for what happened in Kalos.

Watching as the gym leaders closed their gyms for the first time in their history.

Their league had been cancelled and no new trainers were being certified. The master class tournament had even been put on hold.

Sure they were recovering now, opening some of the gyms, being more rigorous with the inspections of research labs, more rigorous in testing for certification of trainers. But the league and master class tournament had yet to resume.

Diantha had yet to take on any challengers and Alain had renounced his championship.

"Is there anyone else aware of the ultra beasts aside from Aether, Interpol and the kids that went to ultra space?" Professor Sakuragi asks, Professor Kukui answers him.

"The Kahunas all have knowledge of the ultra beasts, though it is mostly through oral tradition that they know." Well that answers some questions and raises others.

Like how the hell have these beings gone unchecked for so long.

How long has interpol known about them?

And now.

"What regions have the highest activity of ultra wormhole energy?" Professor Burnet moves to the next slide which holds a map of all the regions.

"Alola has the highest activity, its a hotspot for them. Unova would be next due to one of my projects when i was still in school. That lead to my employment in Aether." Kalos, Sinnoh and Hoenn were largely untouched aside from a few cases here and there.

"Kanto would be next but even then it is still pretty minimal, it might be seeing more activity though." Because Ash's mother resided in Kanto with her Mr. Mime and they were both considered Fallers.

This was going to be a long conference.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UB-01 Symbiont | #793 Nihilego 1
> 
> UB-02 Absorption #794 Buzzwole 2
> 
> UB-02 Beauty #795 Pheromosa 7 bug/fighting 
> 
> UB-03 Lighting | #796 Xurkitree 5
> 
> UB-04 Blade #798 Kartana 9 grass/steel
> 
> UB-04 Blaster #797 Celesteela 3
> 
> UB-05 Gluttony | #799 Guzzlord 10
> 
> UB Adhesive (Poipole) 8
> 
> UB Stinger (Naganadel) 
> 
> UB Assembly (Stakataka) 6 rock/steel 
> 
> UB Burst (Blacephalon) 4


	31. Don't Wait For Truth To Come And Blind Us Let's Just Believe Their Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyrics: darkside- alan walker

Samuel looks to Ash and looks to his grandson Gary.

And then feels every bit his age when both refuse to look at him the longer the conversation goes on. He had been foolish to urge Kukui to take Ash away. He had been foolish to let Gary and Delia ride off on Charizard.

They now had targets painted on their backs.

Would be followed around and be made bait should interpol find out. Samuel could see the teenagers in the corner were not paying attention to the meeting at all. Likely because they were so deeply involved.

"What precautions can we take for our regions?" Samuel asks, Burnet lays out several flash drives.

"We're mass producing beast balls as fast as we can. And Team Skull is slowly taking over as auxiliary members of the ultra guardians. The ultra rangers are gone, taken by interpol." There are things that are not being unpacked there.

"While we are giving this information in confidence, you need to remember that interpol is unaware of what we are doing." Samuel peered over at Ash.

"Would your contact be able to help us?" He queries, Ash chews his lips thoughtfully as he glances at Gary.

"I don't know." He mutters, Samuel catches sight of Gary shrugging as well and sighs to himself. Ash had worked with less before, Samuel could make do.

"I would be able to send my trainers to combat these ultra beasts. I could send them out to the regions that have alerts." Willow says and Samuel looks to Ash when everyone faces Willow.

"Wouldn't they be spread thin trying to travel across the regions?" Willow shakes his head, pulling out his phone to text someone and then setting it onto the table.

"No. These three have been doing some work for me for years. And they would be able to reach the locations of the alerts with very little trouble." Samuel clears his throat when he continues being vague.

"I'm sure you'll understand why when they arrive and give a demonstration." Samuel rolls his eyes but leaves the man be, he was not really in the loop about Ash's status and thus chose to protect the identity of his trainers. He was aware a chosen was here though, this was his attempt to see who that was.

Ash looked at him, looked to Willow and then punched Gary in the arm with a blank look as he abandoned his chair to huddle between the other teenagers with Pikachu, Scraggy and Poipole to occupy his attention.

Tracey seemed to follow their wave length as he moved to block him from view.

Gary frowned at him pointedly shifting his chair to shield Ash from prying eyes. He radiates disapproval in a way that only Delia was capable of using to make him take breaks. Clearly he had misstepped somehow and would need to correct or face the combined wrath of his grandson and Delia.

"Well, until they arrive, shall we resume?" Kukui asks as he eyes the teenagers, shooting Gary a look of questioning irritation while Gary smirks at him halfheartedly.

"Aside from giving you beast balls and the ultra wormhole tracking software, we still need to come up with a way to transport the beast balls. We've tested out the pokemon transportation system in the pokemon center and well. It doesn't seem capable of recognizing the beast balls or its occupants." Gary pulls out his phone.

"The gym leader Clemont is an inventor." He points out, Augustine nods and pulls out his own phone.

"Of course! If i could get him the schematics for the transportation system and give him the beast ball technology, then he should be able to create a system that would be functional." Then he winces after a moment.

"Although..." he doesn't pause his typing. "Clemont's inventions have the habit of exploding." Oh my, that is something. Perhaps Samuel could offer the young gym leader a hand or at the very least-

"Clemont's inventions stop blowing up once he makes a few versions." Ash cuts through his thoughts sharply. Ah, yes, he was quite protective of his friends and would not see them slandered especially when they could not defend themselves.

"My apologies Ash, i meant no harm." Ash remains where he is leaning against the fair haired boy and his sister. He doesn't look up from the phone held between them, but Samuel can sense his disappointment.

The green haired boy snorts suddenly as he slaps his hands over his face. The fair haired children look unimpressed at him even as they look back at the phone then to Ash. He shrugs.

That's right. Ash had a very dedicated following throughout the regions. And where there were dedicated fans, there were photos and videos. Samuel looks away from the teens and down at his tablet as he looks at the readings of the ultra energy attached to people and pokemon.

"This ultra energy, does it spread? Or is localized to the people and pokemon that have been to ultra space?" Burnet answered as Kukui changes slides.

"It remains localized to the pokemon that are already hosts to the ultra energy. We're closely monitoring one of our ultra guardians to be sure that it does not spread." She hesitates for a second as she looks at the graph.

"It will change if he comes into physical contact with the ultra beasts. From what we've observed, being in their grasp is enough to impart ultra energy. Though that seems to only happen through UB-01 and until we can be sure that it does not pertain to the other ultra beasts, we can't tell you for sure if it can be spread." Samuel nods to himself, that was understandable.

They passed the next few hours in a similar vein, asking questions and receiving answers that either explained their understanding or received answers that explained how limited they were. Sometimes the answers varied depending on the type of ultra beast they were discussing.

At least until it grew late and the teenagers had long since fallen asleep while Ash stares determinedly at his phone. 

"We'll call it a night for now. We'll have dinner brought to your rooms." Kukui says as the projector is shut off and the windows shutters are removed.

"Mew?" The kids vanish after Ash calls to the legendary, Kukui looks sad.

"They don't feel safe here do they?" Interesting how Augustine's assistant looks guilty over that. _Very_ interesting.

"They don't agree with Lusamine." Ah, he remembers Gary informing him about the fostering of the Aether president's children. Not feeling safe in their mother's domain, that was a lot to unpack. More so when the children had literally piled over Ash in their sleep.

Gary stands up and stretches, Tracey follows after him while digging through his satchel.

"I'm going to sleep in your guest room." He says over his shoulder as he reaches out to Charizard with one hand while the other grasps Tracey's shoulder as they vanish with the pokemon. Kukui twitches but remains frustratingly silent while Burnet laughs into her palm.

Samuel peers into the room to see Willow's top trainers. They speak in hushed voices with the man and seem to come to an agreement.

"Professor Oak, these are my trainers; Spark," a cheerful blond cradling an egg waved at him. "Candela," a woman with short brown hair and warm hazel eyes greets him. "And Blanche." A woman with long white hair and calm green eyes nods at him.

"We've already cleared a spot for them to introduce their pokemon. Young Ash may be interested in meeting them as they are interested in meeting him." Samuel nods, Kukui and Burnet are on their phones texting with looks of frustration on their faces.

He can understand that they might be worried but he knows that both Ash and Gary are self sufficient and responsible. They would make sure the other teens were taken care of before returning. Though he wonders if they will over look Gary leaving the meeting as it is against protocol. Tracey was an assistant, and thus had more wiggle room.

But Gary is already aware of the topic, and hadn't breathed a word of it aside from informing him of everything a few months before the meeting. And Gary was invited in as an assistant not in his credentials as a pokemon professional.

"Morning!" Aurea greets him, followed by Rowan and Elm. Birch arrives a few minutes later with a thermos in hand.

Ash and Gary slip into the room talking about Giratina. Tracey is walking and sketching beside Ash, equally into the conversation.

Ash jumps when Willow addresses him.

"Ash, I'd like to introduce you to some of my trainers." Ash warily shifts behind Gary and Tracey, Gary noticeably does not _notice._ Tracey, just as telling, also _fails_ to notice.

"This is Spark, Candela and Blanche. They were very interested in meeting _you."_ Now that caught Gary's attention as he sneers.

"Yeah, cause an adult interested in meeting a teenage boy doesn't set off any alarms." He sighs something under his breath as he pushes Ash towards their chairs. Tracey does not stand in their way and yet he also does. He is no longer sketching as he glances between the trainers and Professor Willow.

"Ah, actually we'll be going to the launchpad for the demonstration Professor Willow has planned." Kukui calls out, Gary shoots him an irritated look but remains where he is. They vanish within the blink of an eye.

"Looks like we're meeting them up there." Kukui sighs as if his patience has been tested to the furthest extent and takes a deep breath. Burnet pats his shoulder, her eyes twinkling in amusement.

Ash's pokemon were spread out around him as he, completely paint splattered, sat on the floor dipping his finger into paint and make smiley faces. Poipole laughs splattering more paint onto him and around him.

Tracey is sitting beside Poipole, holding out his sketchpad to the ultra beast. It twirls in the air with glee.

"Okay, now that we're all here." Kukui gestures to the trainers. Blanche steps up and smiles as she tosses a pokeball.

"I am Blanche, the chosen of Mystic and the chosen of my partner." An Articuno popped out of the pokeball, it trilled softly as an icy draft swept over them.

He glanced towards Ash to find him that he had grabbed his smaller pokemon and retreated to Charizard's side. Pushing back against him so the fire type did not do anything rash. He already looked furious as he hunkered down over Ash.

Tracey was pale as a sheet, transfixed by the ice type as he turned to the others in horror.

"Don't Charizard, this one isn't the one." Samuel had not forgotten that horrifying ordeal from the Orange islands.

"I'm Candela, the chosen of Valor and i am the chosen of Moltres." Heat, unbearable and stifling was upon them. Ash didn't move, Pikachu began to growl, Tracey clenched his fingers into his sketchpad tightly.

"And i'm Spark! The chosen of Instinct and chosen of Zapdos." Spark gave a small bow as Zapdos took up the last space of the launchpad. All his hair was standing on end, he could taste the static in the air.

Ash stared blankly at them, his hands dropping to his sides his pokemon drop to the floor gracefully. Mew flitted about the legendary birds and giggling into their paws as they sat back to watch.

Tracey looked to Ash, a look of relief on his face when he saw him while Gary was edging towards them.

Ash walked up to Moltres, the closest of the legendary birds. It leaned down to look him in the eyes, he reached up, hands gently brushing the bird's beak.

The trio of trainers stared at him in wonder. Willow silently groaned, scowling at him for keeping silent.

Ash's hands clamp down and in an instant he twirls on his heel bringing the beak over his shoulder hard enough that he nearly touches the floor.

The legendary bird follows the momentum. The launchpad cracks beneath the weight of the legendary bird as it smacks into asphalt.

"You know what you did!" He said as he walked away from the bird, pointing at Zapdos with a warning look. Mew drops out of the sky from laughing so hard.

Ash was talking to Charizard in a soft voice, Pikachu sat on his shoulder watching the birds. Moltres and Zapdos looked suitably chastised.

Tracey makes his way towards Ash, hand on his shoulder as he looks him over.

"You can't just attack-" Gary seems to be way ahead of them as he has taken the time everyone was stunned silent to make his way towards the trainers with the actual legendary birds as their chosen partners.

"He can and he will. He's above them all, he's _their Champion_." Mew floats over, settling down around his shoulders with a flick of their tail.

Since when has Ash been the Champion of the legendaries? Wasn't he the true Chosen one of legend?

"Arceus. _He's_ the _Champion_ of legend?!" Spark squeaked, then turns to Zapdos with a look of severe disappointment.

"Shame on you, and shame on me." He says lowly with shame in his voice. Candela swears under her breath while Blanche looks to Articuno with a firm nod.

"I'd stay away from him right now." Gary looks at his nails like he hasn't a care in the world. "His pokemon are a lot less forgiving than he is. Especially Pikachu." He comments idly, Samuel sometimes wonders how his grandson turned out like this. Then he remembers that Delia had taken him in for quite some time while Samuel had grieved.

 _Tauros!_ His grandson was going to verbally castrate someone.

"The Guardians aren't going to appreciate having those three here. Lugia is tolerable, but not them, so you should send them off." The legendary birds were hastily returned. Ash never once turns to look at them, his attention solely on his pokemon.

His pokemon that have been with him through thick and thin. Into battle amongst the gods and against humans trying to chain them.

Pokemon had long memories. _Unforgiving_ memories.

Spoken history for how else would they know to worship the gods. How else would they know about the legendary pokemon and know to come to their aid? Aura played a part, of that he was sure, just how large a part he did not know and likely he never would.

"Breathe. We're safe from them, i won't let them hurt us." _That_ **hurt.**

Ash rubbed Charizard's snout, pet Pikachu on the head and nudged Scraggy and Bayleef with his foot as he drew their attention.

"You need to leave. _Now."_ Gary stared at them, arms crossed as he physically blocked Ash from view.

Of course Ash was defensive of his pokemon. Samuel had forgotten the scars he and Pikachu carried from Dr. Young and his mirage system.

"Yeah, you messed up Gramps. And I'm not going to smooth _this_ over." And there it is, the look of disappointment that made him feel as if he were just a child who had misbehaved and disappoinged expectations.

* * *

It was strange to see Gary Oak give his grandfather the cold treatment. Stranger still that he allowed it. 

It was a long two days of silence and looks. Professor Oak's assistant Tracey was also not on Professor Oak's side. And Ash was managing to be completely neutral in regards to their behavior. Professor Kukui and Professor Burnet too seemed to be upset with Professor Oak. Their frosted expressions and cooled responses to his questions made that perfectly clear.

Alain didn't understand why.

"I'll be back." Ash says abruptly as he slips out, Professor Kukui looks concerned but Gary simply snorts and points at his wrist. Then both look faintly irritated, Ash walks back a few minutes later faintly sparking.

"Pushy." He says as Pikachu smugly sits on his shoulder. He takes his seat, fiddling with his tablet and took over the screen.

"The Guardian Deities have been able to fight sometimes. I think they have more luck fighting because they are fairy types." Ash explains as he puts up photos of the four Guardian Deities of Alola. 

"Just because we know the typing for the ultra beasts we've seen doesn't mean that we would be able to defeat them with type advantage." Ash looks away from his tablet as he puts a video up on the screen. 

He slides video after video without looking. 

Alain frowns as he sees how ineffective their attacks are. Especially against the ultra beast Nihilego. It shrugs off everything.

"Although Pheromosa seems equally susceptible to fighting as opposed to the other ultra beasts." Alain winces as the video of Ash slamming feet first into the ultra beast plays. He was a frightening individual. 

_Only._

Ash had not been like that in Kalos.

He remembers Professor Sycamore always welcoming him back with open arms. Opening his arms to Froakie and making sure that they knew he cared and would always be there. When Alain had asked why, the answer had not been something he understood until now.

_"When you're pushed too far. Like a wild pokemon pushed into a corner. Even the kindest hearts will bite back at the world. I never want you or Froakie to be pushed that far. To feel as if you have no one left in the world and betray your hearts to your pain and suffering." He smiles at Alain when he sees his confusion._

_"I hope you never understand this lesson."_

The fact that Ash, who was so kind and gentle, while still being a battle trainer, didn't hesitate to defend himself or his pokemon. _Alain had done this to him_. Had driven him to this point to defend his pokemon with the ferocity of a mother kangashkan.

Alain had done this and he needed, no. He _didn't_ need, _Ash_ needed. Because Alain had wronged him. Hurt him and his pokemon. Alain was going to apologize to Ash and tell him that he didn't need to forgive Alain. 

Needing was what made him so susceptible to Lysander's tactics. He wouldn't make that mistake _again._

"Xerneas is still sleeping though, so you might have better luck with asking either Magearna or Diancie and Carbink for help." Ash says, Alain briefly skims his notes to see what he had missed.

"Hoenn has the Togepi kingdom." Ash goes on, listing which pokemon of the fairy types would be willing to help out which regions. Gary helpfully pointing out some people that could be informed about the ultra beasts.

"Jack Walker, Solana, Kellyn and Ben from the Pokemon Rangers would be good people to tell. Mm. I forgot about Riley." Ash swears under his breath and pulls out his phone. Then tosses it behind him and takes Gary's phone.

"You could ask." He says but doesn't bother reaching for his phone.

"And you need to tell the Champions too." That's something that would have been forgotten about if Ash hadn't brought it up.

"Not the gym leaders?" Ash shakes his head.

"The Champions and Elite four have more wiggle room to act. While the Gym Leaders do have some authority, it won't help them out if Interpol gets involved. Pokemon rangers are protected and Lance's G-men are protected too." That made a surprising amount of sense.

"And with that, we'll be going to lunch." Professor Burnet cuts in, Ash purses his lips and nods. Alain makes his way out of the room, trying to figure out a way to ask to speak with Ash.

 _Not alone, never alone again_.

He wanted Ash to feel safe, or at the very least, feel as if he had someone looking out for him.

He didn't want to ever make Ash feel so helpless. Alain was done with punishing himself for his mistakes. He was going to work at doing the right thing. 

No. That was a flawed thought, wasn't that what he thought he had been doing before? Is this was Professor Sycamore had meant? Was this why Diantha had declined him when he tried to give up being the Kalos league finalist?

"Is was never about doing the right thing." Alain tripped as he whirled around to see Ash standing across from him with Pikachu. "It was about understanding that you made a mistake and accepting that." Bayleef was watching him from Ash's side, on his other side stood Tracey Sketchit.

Alain didn't speak, he fidgeted with the cuff of his sleeve stopping when Ash tensed at movement. He relaxed but Alain remembers how Ash had tried to drag him away from Team Flare, and Alain had yanked his arm free. He lowers his hands to his sides, keeping his palms open.

"Ash..." great, he got what he wanted. Now what does he say? "Did... did you get my letter?" Ash isn't quite looking at him when he nods. 

"I..." Ash shifts in place. "Didn't read it." He says lowly, his eyes drifting downward as his shoulders creeped up. His heart fell, but he did kind of expect this. Ash had not reacted well to seeing him and destroyed a computer screen. He had done his best to make Alain feel welcome at the party that Marin threw, but Alain had known that Ash was afraid of him. He had done his best to never been within reaching distance once the party had ended.

"That's okay." He says, he licks his lips as he realizes that now is the time he should apologize.

"I wanted to tell you that i was sorry." His eyes prickle, he swallows down the sob building in his throat. "I wanted to tell you that I'm so sorry for everything." His voice cracks but he pushes on when Pikachu's ears twitch.

"For not helping you when Team Flare kidnapped you." He could still see Ash's expression as he was knocked unconscious. He could see Pikachu's fear as he tried to stay awake to protect Ash.

"For standing by when..." Ash was flinching back, of course he would be afraid of Lysander too. "He strung you up." Ash had called out to him, pleaded and Alain had ignored him. Wallowing in despair. 

"For not listening to you. And for standing back when he hurt you." A traitorous tear slid down his cheek, he hastily wiped it away. _Great._ His vision is swimming now. He inhales shakily.

"I'm sorry i told Professor Sycamore without your permission." Alain opens his eyes, when had they closed, when he feels a hand on his arm. He looks into the concerned brown eyes, Tracey takes a step back when Alain raises his hand to clean his face.

"Ash doesn't want you blaming yourself, and i don't think you should be punishing yourself like this." How could-

"I don't blame you..." Ash hesitates, he still won't look at Alain. "It's not like it's the first time i trusted someone-" his voice catches but he continues on.

"I'm too trusting i guess." He shrugs in self depreciation. "I don't regret trusting you though." Alain couldn't stop his tears even if he wanted to.

"You don't need to forgive me Ash. I don't deserve to be forgiven." Ash winces, Tracey glances back at Ash with worry in his eyes, that same look he aims at Alain.

"You scare me..." Alain flinched, but Ash finally looked him in the eyes.

"Everyone that has tried to capture legendary pokemon to remake the world has always thought they were doing the right thing..." Ash slowly looks away from him and for once it doesn't feel like avoidance.

"They never thought it was wrong." Pikachu whispers a painfully small 'Pikapi' in response. "But you were so paralyzed by the thought of having helped destroy the world." Ash hugs himself as Pikachu presses closer to him.

"They didn't care who they hurt as long they reached their goals and don't hesitate to hurt kids. But Alain, you never stooped to their level to get to your goal. I'm sure if you did then Ash wouldn't be willing to stand here in the same room as you." Tracey speaks softly, he speaks like Professor Sycamore. Firm but kind, looking Alain in the eyes to get his point across.

"For a really long time i pretended nothing happened." Alain feels guilt suffocate him at the thought of Ash living in denial about what happened. "And i tried telling myself that i forgave you." Ash shouldn't forgive him, even if forgiveness is meant to help the person in pain to cope. No, if he was in denial he was just trying to rid himself of the thought of having been betrayed by someone he thought of as a friend. He was trying to pass on the blame, and ended up turning that blame onto himself.

"You don't need to forgive me Ash. Not forgiving someone is not the same thing as hating someone." Tracey holds up his hand.

"Ash doesn't hate the way you and i do. He can carry grudges but it doesn't last, this is something that we can't understand and shouldn't try to influence." He explains gently.

"I don't like being angry. It hurts being angry, and I've seen what that anger can do to someone if you hold onto it." Ash whispers, he looks at Tracey for a second before sliding his gaze to Alain. His eyes are a bright vivid red.

"I wasn't the only one _he_ hurt, you need to realize that." Alain flinched. How many times had Marin and Professor Sycamore told him that? How many times did he not believe that.

"It's okay, Alain, it's okay." Tracey is lowering him to the floor, Alain is sobbing. 

"I don't hate you. I'm not mad at you." Ash is kneeling down a little ways away from him. "I still think we're friends, aren't we?" Ash rubs his arm, Tracey pats his shoulder.

"You're very good at long distance friendships." Tracey smiles, Alain nods. He nods because he's crying so hard he can barely catch his breath.

"Can i still write to you?" Ash still doesn't really look at him but his eyes are no longer that nightmarish red that haunted his dreams.

"Is it okay if i respond late?" He whispers shyly as he hugs his Bayleef, the Bayleef eyes him as one would eye a particular annoying Rattata. 

"Yeah." He sniffles into his sleeve. Ash tentatively pats his arm before climbing to his feet and sprinting off. Tracey offers him a grin as he helps him to his feet.

"Ash is one of a kind, isn't he?" Alain nods. He's sure that anyone else in Ash's position would never have voluntarily spoken with someone that betrayed their trust. Let alone worry about that person's well being.

* * *

Tracey follows after Ash, a simple tug of his sleeve had been enough to catch his attention. Gary aims a calculating look his way before loudly sighing as he tosses himself into a seat beside his grandfather.

"You don't have to do this you know." Ash's shoulders jerk roughly as he attempts to shrug casually.

"I know." He says as his pace slows to a crawl. Bayleef creeps into view behind Pikachu, Ash crouches down to pick his partner up. Tracey slings his arm over Ash's shoulder when he rises up. He waits patiently, he knows that sometimes the best thing to do for Ash, was to be a silent observer. He had it on good authority that he was pretty good at that.

"It's not just me that was hurt." He rasps, leaning into Tracey as his shoulders hunch. "Clemont and Bonnie were hurt. And so was Serena and Marin." He shudders, Tracey frowns as he wraps his arms around him.

"I wasn't the only that was hurt and betrayed. He thought he was doing the right thing." Tracey has heard all about the people that had thought they were doing the right thing and how that ended. Where was Ash going with this?

"He fell apart when he found out he was hurting people." Tracey, along with everyone else, wanted to know what happened to Ash. But they would have been content never knowing if it helped him recover.

"He didn't help me when i _begged."_ his heart fell at the bitter tone and then Ash laughs softly. It was an ugly hurt sound. "But he was a _**victim** too." What?_

"I can't be angry when he was just trying his best to help." Tracey felt the material of his shirt bunch under Ash's hand.

"It wasn't even about _me,_ it wasn't _personal._ And that's probably the only reason why i can't be mad." Tracey glances to Pikachu, the electric grudgingly nods his head.

"What do you mean by that?" Ash shifts in place, pushing his head into Tracey's shoulder, his hat falls but Tracey catches it.

"He wanted to help Mairin, her Chespin was hurt." Ash shifts closer, Tracey glances around to make sure no one else hears. _"He **lied**_ to him about wanting to protect Sycamore-hakase's reputation." His voice drops further and Tracey strains to hear his next words.

"He believed the false promise about mega evolution energy." He whispered painfully as a shudder wracked through his body. Tracey doesn't know what promise was made about evolution energy, but he knows this, there would never have been a good reason for that. It frightened Ash.

Was mega evolution energy in any way, shape or form, related to aura? What had Lysander done to Ash?

"It's over now, and we won't ever let you be hurt by anything like that again. Your pokemon won't let that happen and neither will the legendaries." Ash nods, he takes a couple of breaths before stepping back. Tracey watches him, gently sets his hat back onto his head and nods in the direction that Alain had walked off.

Tracey waits for Alain to compose himself. It takes a few minutes but he waits patiently without judgement.

"Do you-" Alain averts his eyes, his cheeks flushing.

"I don't hate you. I don't know you enough for that, nor do i really care to." Tracey fiddles with a pencil in his pocket. "When it comes to Ash, you can't help but be friends with his friends." Alain looks up at that.

"My name's Tracey Sketchit, it's nice to meet you." Alain hesitates but introduces himself all the same.

"From one assistant to another, I'd do my best to interest Ash with interesting information about Pokemon." 

Tracey likes Ash's adopted siblings. They took no shit from anyone and wouldn't hesitate to drag Ash away. At one point Tracey thought he would need to drag Alain away for his own safety, surprisingly Gary was the one to calm the siblings.

Though that might be because he was just as ready to throw a punch as the other two were. Arceus already knows that they all would disrespect their family's orders to keep their fists to themselves. Which for Kanto was pretty much the standard. But for these two Alolan teens, well, they were pretty self sufficient for their age. 

He wonders how they were handling the restructuring of their lives. He already knows that Ash was just treating this as one long assignment from a Pokemon Professor. Would he ease up from that? Did he accept that these people wanted him as family?

Ash was pretty liberal about that so maybe he did. It probably also helps that he never had a father figure in his life. Wait. Is this was why Brock complained about being replaced?!

"You okay there?" Tracey clears his throat and takes a bite of his croquet sandwich.

"Yeah. I just remembered that Brock and Misty were making plans to stay in Alola for a few days." Ash grins, Pikachu beamed at him from where he sat beside the other pokemon.

"I think Brock would really get along with Spark! He's really good at taking care of baby pokemon." Ash rambled on about the pokemon that Spark had raised, how strong Candela was and how amazing Blanche was. Tracey was counting down the days until Ash challenged the three trainers to a battle.

"That ultra beasts is back." Ash frowns as he glances towards the window. Tracey peers over at Gladion's phone to see several ultra wormholes opening and closing.

They had actually been able to watch a few captures live while having their conference.

Ash made himself scarce when Lusamine appeared, Poipole and Pikachu also vanished, only reappearing when Lusamine was no longer on screen.

Tracey still remembers what Dr. Young had done to Pikachu for his Mirage system. He can only imagine the terror Ash felt, being someone who could feel ultra wormholes better than technology, as well as being in the same vicinity as someone with a known obsession for ultra beasts.

The implications of that alone had him taking deep breaths as Ash huddled between his and Gary's legs. 

Tracey was not an angry person. Nor was he particularly prone to pokemon battling as his companion pokemon were simply that, companions. That being said.

He cared about Ash and would not hesitate to defend him should he ever feel that he was unsafe.

"Mm, i can see that you added some new information regarding Poipole." Tracey keeps an eye on the screen as Lusamine briefly rattles off some theories before a woman with mauve colored hair catches her attention telling her to rest. The older woman pouts but easily gives while telling Burnet to send her any reports regarding the ultra beast that made the ultra wormholes.

"How far do you think you can feel the ultra wormholes?" Ash hums, fingers absently drumming against his knees.

"In general, i can feel around all of Alola. Outside of that i can't, but if i push i can feel a little past the borders." So he wouldn't be able to tell if there were ultra beasts in other regions.

"Your mom is as tough as they come, and Mimey can send anyone unpleasantness packing with a flick of his wrist." Ash snorts, he covers his mouth abruptly but several heads already turn their way. Gary loudly clears his throat with a raised brow.

Tracey witholds a wince at Gary's pointed look but acknowledges the warning opting to be quieter in asking Ash questions hinting at aura.

Ash hadn't told any of them about aura, aside from Brock, May and Max, but that didn't really count as they had been with Ash when he found out about it. Tracey thinks that the only _person_ Ash ever really talks to, was Gary.

He hinted at things or vaguely answered questions when asked, but with Gary it was different. He doesn't think that Gary knew everything that Ash knew but it would be a good guess to say that he knew a majority.

Not that Gary ever said or hinted at knowing anything. 

"How would Lucario be affected by the ultra beasts? Or psychic types for that matter? We're already aware of the legendary pokemon struggling." Gary queries from where his cheek rests against his palm. Tracey can see the faint twitching of Professor Kukui's eyebrow. 

"From what we've seen thus far, psychic pokemon don't suffer anymore than other pokemon." Gary shifts just as Professor Kukui looks in their direction. Tracey schools his features, the Professor knew about aura and almost looked at Ash.

Gary was going to murder him...

Poor guy.

Hopefully it won't be too bad or drawn out.

"I'll need to get back to you on that." Gary hums.

"The Lucario kingdom does need to be warned about aura eating ultra beasts." Professor Kukui gazes thoughtfully at the wall for a moment.

"I'll speak with Kahuna Hala at the end of today." Gary peers back at him, Tracey subtle nods and takes his phone out of his pocket to text Kellyn about being contacted by the G-men at a later date for something very important. 

He could see Gary texting Lance with one hand while the other was used as a chin rest. Ash was texting someone as well, sending a picture of himself and Pikachu as proof that it was he who sent the text.

Tracey tunes back in as Professor Burnet discusses the merits of keeping quiet about the ultra beasts until they had more data, especially as they had yet to identify the ultra beast or ultra beasts that were capable of creating their own ultra wormhole.

"I see. Telling the public prematurely could end up with another one of the those legendary hunts. No, it may lead to another Dragonair hunt." Tracey winced, he heard about those.

"People would underestimate them, and then interpol would have plenty more people to use as bait." Gary sits back as he crosses his arms over his chest.

"At this point, we have no idea what side interpol is on as they've kept silent about the ultra beasts all these years." He continues after a moment, Professor Birch hums thoughtfully.

"I think..." he aims a look in Ash general direction. "That you should seek Salon Maiden Anabel out." He pauses, taking the time to meet every individual pair of eyes.

"Two years ago she vanished on the way back to Hoenn, she reappeared and resigned as a frontier brain. She has since disappeared from the public eye." Ash and Pikachu share a long look, worry heavy in the air as they seemed to come to an agreement. 

"If anyone knows where she is it would be Steven or Brandon." Ash leaves his shelter and slips out of the conference room with his phone in hand.

"Yeah, and Pikachu's here too. We have a ques-" the door slips shut behind him once Bayleef and Scraggy follow him out.

"The Champions would have a clearer idea of whether interpol would side with us or not. I think it would be in our best interests to speak with the individual Champions once we return to our regions." Tracey cuts in once Ash exits to keep their attention focused in the room.

"Lance and Cynthia will be meeting me in route to Sinnoh, I'll speak with them where there will be no chance of being over heard." Gary says, looking over to Professor Rowan who dips his head in acknowledgement.

There's various conversations going on about finding ways to speak to the Champions of the regions. Professor Kukui and Professor Burnet share a look, looking to their phones before coming to an agreement.

Tracey quickly seeks out Professor Willow. The older man is staring at the door with a disconcerting frown. He catches Tracey's gaze, smiles absently then pulls out his phone. Tracey shifts his foot so it knocks into Gary's heel, the teen's gaze flickers over to him then towards Professor Willow when Tracey doesn't look away.

The foot knocks back as he slumps back into his chair, flicks his fingers at the ground a few times. Tracey watches Hau climb to his feet and yawn widely. The teen simply walks out of the room completely unbothered by the stares, cheekily wiggling his fingers in a mockery of a hand wave as he exits the room.

Gary looks unamused by the teen's actions, rolling his eyes a little as he faces forward.

"Moving on." He abruptly cuts in, the Professors fall silent as Gary takes control of the projector.

"I don't know of any of you have taken into account what Team Rocket can do if they found out about the ultra beasts." He held up his hands when Professor Kukui and Professor Sycamore cut in. "Even if Jessie and James are on break, and they actually like Ash." His expression is serious.

"The rest of Team Rocket is do not. And there are still remnants of various organizations that Ash has helped dismantle." A somber mood falls upon them.

"Jessie and James still work for Team Rocket, they would give Ash the courtesy of a warning but the rest of us won't have that luxury. Kanto and Unova especially." Tracey purses his lips as he skims over the information. He looks over what interpol has done, or rather what they have possibly done in the past thanks to Lusamine's assistance. 

"Even if Team Rocket or any other organization tries to capture an ultra beast, if they don't have the beast balls they won't be able to hold them. That of course leads to the creation of more fallers or the abduction of more humans and pokemon." Professor Oak thoughtfully ponders aloud.

"But their is still the possibility that they may be able to steel that technology from us, there have been times in the past that Team Rocket has broken into our various labs." Professor Sycamore points out.

"Even if we were to eliminate that threat, using Professor Willow's team of trainers is not a permanent solution." Professor Sakuragi points out, he flicks through the information on his tablet.

"Professor Burnet, you said that the Ultra Ranger corp was taken by Interpol." Professor Elm raises his glasses. "Was there talk of inducting a new Ultra Ranger corp?" She shakes her head.

"Lusamine decided against continuing the Ultra Ranger, she never spoke of why." She wore a troubled frown, Professor Kukui reached out and gave her hand a small squeeze. 

"Any new Ultra Rangers would just be drafted to Interpol won't they?" Tracey asks, looking over the brief summary about how the Ultra Ranger corp was trained. "Wait." He looks over at the profiles of the ultra rangers and sees small kernels of information regarding people that have been taking over at night. 

"This Team Skull is shaping up to be a better candidate for the Ultra Ranger corp." He looks up to see Professor Kukui glancing away from Gladion and Lillie. Tracey doesn't call him out on the action.

"While Team Skull is slowly gaining experience in ultra beast capture, their leader..." he clears his throat when his voice grows hoarse. "Guzma has made it perfectly clear that he's in this to stop the children from being exploited." Silence, tension is high in the room.

Alola was different from the other regions. From Kanto and Hoenn specifically that has their children become independent at the age of ten.

From Sinnoh that doesn't push children as hard as Hoenn and Kanto and lets them choose between being battle trainers or coordinators. Creating tension between the two classes, tensions that lead to fights between friends and families.

Different from Unova who relies of the schooling that children enroll in to help them out in the real world and scorn the dropouts or failures. Who sneer at nonnatives. 

Very different from Kalos that lets children choose whether they want their own trainer license or not. That lets children emancipate themselves once they prove to be truly self sufficient and a valuable member to society.

Alola kept their children until their majority and let them continue to stay. Kept them in school even while some had jobs. Had trials that children could go on with their Kahuna's as opposed to a journey across the region to discover themselves.

The door abruptly opens behind them, Ash and Hau come in carrying a ton of berries. Ash deposits some onto the table before making his way to his pokemon to pass them the rest while Hau sits down beside Gladion and Lillie.

"Still doesn't explain anything but at least Espeon, Alakazam and Metagross still remember me. I can wait a week to meet up with her." Ash huffingly sits beside his pokemon.

"Uh..." he quickly glances around the room at the Professors tense expressions.

"Did i miss something?" Gladion snorts.

"They were talking about Team Skull." Ash looks surprised.

"Hey, you think Anakala might know who Team Skull's boss is? I mean he should right? He was working with some of them, or were they were working him?" Gary slaps his palm over his face. Gladion, Lillie and Hau pointedly look away, Professor Kukui and Burnet are biting their lips and Ash looks confused.

Oh.

_Oh!_

Team Skull was-

Ash should probably talk with this Anakala person. And Jessie and James.

Jessie and James would definitely be a lot more... or rather, they would be less patronizing. Either way, Ash would be less offended to hear it from them.

* * *

Kukui and Burnet have finally wrapped up their conference, promising to keeping the other Professors updated on any new ultra beasts. Ash asked Professor Willow if he could challenge his trainers to a three on one battle. The older man smiled and agreed.

Kukui was pretty nervous that all four Guardian Deities had gathered around for this battle.

"Nothing personal, we just want to see something." Ash says as Pikachu, Bayleef and Charizard each stand before him. Articuno, Moltres, and Zapdos line up across from them each.

"You sure seem confident that you'll win." Spark grins, Candela smirks while Blanche narrows her eyes.

"Even if you are the _Champion_ of legends." She states, the _we'll beat you_ goes unheard but they can all hear the challenge.

"I just want to see why you were chosen." Ash looks to Tapu Koko who slams his beaks together twice to signal that their match could start.

"Charizard Flaming seismic toss! Pikachu quick counter shield! Bayleef Aromastorm!" Kukui groped his pockets for his phone and hit record, He could hear several others doing the same.

"Rotom you better send me this footage so i can laugh later on." Gary snickers at the flabbergasted looks thrown at Ash.

Kukui had twelve videos, several deleted photos, and two live streams sent to his lab computer. Ash was quietly talking to his pokemon. The legendary bird trio, while not defeated, had clearly not won.

"I can see why you were picked. You're really good people, really kind." Ash smiles softly. 

Spark is cradling Zapdos' beak, murmuring praise after praise.

Candela was resting her forehead against Moltres' beak with a warm smile.

Blanche stared into Articuno's eyes, rubbing the birds breast with wonder in her eyes.

"You're a really brave kid." Spark announces as he returns Zapdos, he idly rubs the pokemon egg strapped to his chest.

"You can count on us to keep your secret!" Candela grins brightly as she holds her thumb up, Moltres dips their head and vanishes in a red light.

"You may call on us whenever you have the need." Blanche smiles softly, Articuno coos softly in agreement.

"Until we meet again kid, Professors." The trio take their leave, and the four Guardian Deities follow after them.

"Charizard keep an eye on them." Ash orders as he ushers his overprotective flying type towards the trio of trainers.

"I wouldn't put it past Koko to be petty." And Kukui was going to pretend he didn't hear Ash say that. It wasn't blasphemy if Ash was this _Champion_ of legendaries.

Though maybe he should make sure that no one finds out about that. Ash still had trouble hearing that he was the chosen one or god blessed.

"Alright everyone, let's get back inside and make sure that we've all got the care packages that we've assembled." Burnet says with a clap of her hands.

Gary frowns softly, tussels his hair before muttering something under his breath.

"The G-men might be able to help out as long as Lance gets to speak to you about the ultra beast stuff." Kukui smiles, before he could utter his thanks, Gary turns on his heel and makes his way towards Ash. Hau, Gladion, Lillie and Tracey are talking with Ash, loudly exclaiming their excitement. Ash bashfully chuckles and patiently allows Tracey to pat him down.

"I'm fine Tracey, honest!" He laughs into the embrace that quickly becomes a group hug with Gary roughly pulled in the second he reached them.

"Ash is in really good hands here." Kukui wonders if he should ask. He thinks about the question he's been wanting to ask since he had been told to ask Ash's mother permission for him to leave when by Kanto law, Ash didn't need permission.

"Walk with me Kukui." Professor Oak said, it was a bit eerie that the man seemed to read his mind. Or was that Mewtwo's fault?

"I can see your train of thought, given our previous topic, it's only natural that you would think it." He says setting their pace to a slow comfortable walk back to the conference room.

"Ash was not in a good place mentally speaking. He had suffered so much, this last time being the one that has left such a permanent mark." Professor Oak heaves a deep sigh, it appeared as if he was being weighed down quite heavily by some unseen burden.

"Ash usally takes time off after returning home, this past time he did not. He came home and it was like he was a different person, wounded as he was it was almost as if a stranger had come home." Professor Oak shut his eyes, pained as he crosses his arms over his chest. "You can imagine our surprise when he flinched away from his mother. From Mr. Mime when he used psychic to dust. When he flinched away from Pikachu when i removed the bright yellow stickers on his cheek sacs." Kukui felt as if his heart was being crushed.

"There's an old law, very old that it very rarely sees use in Kanto." Kukui thinks about the paperwork that had been sent over from Alola that he had Delia amd Ash sign. One of which was temporary custody forms for the student visa Ash was given to attend school in Alola.

"Ash isn't just my ward for his student visa is he." Kukui stops walking. "I'm his host family." Professor Oak nods patting Kukui's bicep.

"If an adult or child of their majority is incapable of looking after themselves due to trauma or injury, they will fall under the care of their parents or guardians until such a time that they are able to care of provide for themselves." Kukui looks down at the Professor when his hand grips onto Kukui's arm.

"It was the right decision. Ash needed help that we could not give. He needed to be some place that had no previous trauma, and he needed someone to help him without having prior attachments." Kukui thought about Delia's expression when she grilled him about taking her son. He thought about Brock and Misty's expressions when they decided to accompany them back to Pallet town.

"This law..." the horrible implications of this law made him feel nauseous. "If Ash didn't want to come it wouldn't matter because his mother and i wanted him to go." Professor Oak shook his head and smiled.

"No. It wouldn't be like that. If Ash had not wanted to go then he would not have. Not all of Kanto's laws work that way, even if Kanto laws and their justice are known far and wide." Kukui heaves a sigh of relief. It was frightening to have that type of power and he would makes sure to not abuse it.

"There is a reason that Mew decided to accompany Ash to Alola." Kukui snorted, the playful kitten was always nudging Ash along. Helping him, distracting him, always within reach. 

"Mew would take Ash away from danger." He kind of feels stupid to have never noticed that.

"It took us awhile to notice that as well. Considering the legendaries actively began to visit Ash and separate him from us for a few hours at a time the first time they visited." That would explain the visits from the legendary pokemon to his house. They were making sure that Ash was safe.

"This was an enlightening discussion Professor." He nods, gaze faraway for a moment as they near the conference room.

"You want to know why my grandson became upset with me." Kukui did, but he wasn't sure if it was prying.

"There was a colleague of mine." Professor Oak resumes walking. "His name was Doctor Young and he created a truly magnificent device. He called it the Mirage system." Kukui listened to the story unfolding before him with rage simmering in his belly. The pain that Ash and Pikachu along with all their friends had gone through. They were children.

"That's why Gary and Tracey were upset with you. Someone Ash didn't know was interested in his status and after the last time they thought you'd be more careful." Kukui realized his slip. "Not that you weren't careful!" Professor Oak chuckles as he comes to a stop just before the door.

"I was careful but in my haste i had forgotten to talk to Ash and let him know. That part was much more important for him to know than to learn about those threes status as chosen." He sighs with a shake of his head.

"Truly a mistake of stupidity on my part. I only hope to apologize before the end of this conference." Kukui pats the older man's arm as they enter the conference room where Burnet is explaining the contents of each case.

Kukui grins as Ash hangs off Professor Oak. The older wipes a tear from his eye as Ash chatters on about something. Gary rolls his eyes with a fond smile while Tracey mutters something to him that has the both of them laughing. Professor Oak looks put out as Ash consoling pats his shoulder.

"Just give Mama some spices from here and give Mimey a new apron. Then you'll be back on their good side!" He exclaims brightly. Kukui wonders how often Ash upset his mother to know how exactly to get back on her good side.

"I have a feeling that only works for you Ash." He comments wryly as he pats the teen on the back.

"It was good to see you Ash, make sure to take care of yourself." Tracey grins as he hugs Ash tightly. Ash and Gary share a look and a friendly back patting hug before they move off to the launchpad.

One by one the Professors leave, until just Ash and Kukui on the launchpad with Alain. Though not before Professor Sycamore hugs Ash and lifts him high offf the floor. 

"I can't promise that I'll respond quickly to any of your letters." Ash scratches Pikachu's chin with one hand as Alain patiently waits across from him with Charizard at his back.

"I'm alright with that." He holds out his hand. "Here's to starting over?" He asks hesitantly.

"To a new start." Ash agrees easily as he shakes Alain's hand, Pikachu climbs down his arm and sets his paw on Alain's hand with a squeaky sound. Charizard delicately sets his claw onto Pikachu's paw. Ash looks away from Alain's suspiciously bright eyes, doesn't take notice of his departure as he speaks to his own Charizard. The flying type had been growling nonstop since Alain's Charizard was called out.

He snorts and covers Ash with fire, Ash laughingly puts out the fire.

"See, all gone." Kukui smiles at them. He turns his attention towards the horizon where he can barely see most of the Professors as they vanish one by one.

"I'll send a text to Lillie and Gladion that we'll be heading home now." Kukui informs Ash, the two had left with Hau not to long before the Professors had taken their leave. 

"Hey Professor..." Kukui blinks in surprise to see that Ash is already beside him. Ash digs into Kukui's pocket, passing him the letter with a shaking hand.

"You want me to read it with you?" Ash nods but stops him when he tries to open it. He glances to Charizard, the flying type is crouched down and waiting for them to hop onto his back. Poipole eagerly spins in place as they wait.

Kukui sits down on the steps to his home, Mew and Mewtwo lounge on the porch while Ash tucks himself into Kukui's side with a sharp nod. Pikachu and Scraggy sit on his lap with Poipole while Rowlet watches them from his perch on Charizard's horn. Torracat and Lycanroc sit at the bottom of the steps with Lillie and Gladion. Burnet is on Ash's other side with Bayleef leaning against her.

* * *

_Dear Ash,_

_I'm writing this letter ~~in hopes that it reaches you.~~ to apologize for hurting you. ~~For keeping quiet about what Lysander~~_

_I told Professor Sycamore and I'm sorry. I don't know if i deserve your forgiveness or if i should even be writing to you. ~~Clemont offered~~ I hope you're doing better now. ~~Charizard and I can no longer use our mega evolution stones~~ Professor Sycamore recommended that i write to you, and this is the ~~fourth~~ ~~sixth~~ ~~ninth~~ eleventh letter and every single one just ~~doesn't.~~_

_I am so very sorry for everything that I've done and have taken steps to rectify my mistakes._

_Sincerely,_

_Alain._


	32. My Mind's Such A Mess, I Can't Handle It, I'm At The End Of My Rope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Arc 2 part 1 end ******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyric: weight of the world- citizen soldier

Lillie was enjoying their field trip to Mount Lanakila on Ula'Ula island. It was beautiful up here.

"Wrong way!!!!!" Ash shrieks as somehow he and Pikachu fly backwards down the hill. Charizard flies above them watching and laughing at them even when he reaches out to grab hold of them.

"Ya know, somehow this was easier on Naval island." Ash laments as he and Pikachu work on unearthing their sled. Charizard nods and Lillie really would like to learn about Ash's previous adventures.

Ash quickly abandons his sled when Rotom exclaims about an unknown pokemon's tracks in the snow. Lillie looks down at her sled and gives herself a small peptalk. She looks up as a shadow crosses over her, brother is on a snowboard. He twists gracefully in the air and lands, using his body weight to turn and come to a stop. He pushes some goggles up on his forehead and peers at Professor Kukui.

"Is it okay for you to be here with your leg broken?" Professor Kukui pats his thigh and holds up his boot covered leg.

"It's mostly healed, hence the boot, but i covered it up to keep it warm as a precaution." Brother hums but doesn't say anything against it.

"Everything alright?" He asks her and she nods as she steps off the sled and makes her way to the top of the hill. Lillie is brave. She is strong. She would conquer this mountain.

"Ready Snowy?" Snowy yips and takes a ready position before taking off. They rapidly approach the curve and suddenly they're soaring. Her breath fogs up and floats past her.

It's like time has frozen. This high up, she feels _free._

And then they begin to descend, gravity and momentum bringing the sled down while she remains airborne and for one heart stopping second she feels as if she is going to fall but a few tails wrap around her and they land just fine.

It was exhilarating.

"You and Snowy were amazing!" Mallow squeals as she tackles Lillie off the sled. Lana compliments her and Snowy on a job well done. 

Lillie was going to miss Mount Lanakila, it beautifully breath taking. Snowy felt at home here, and she wonders to herself if maybe she could come back again.

"I could bring you back here if you wanted." Brother offers, his face is lightly flushed from the cold but it darkens when she looks at him. She smiles and loops her arms around his.

"Thank you brother." He smiles and they make their way down the mountain with the rest of the class. Ash eagerly speaking with Rotom about the pokemon he had seen.

Sophocles was a little quiet after Professor Kukui spoke with him and that worried her. But when she asked he waved her off so she let him be.

"We'll be visiting the Hokulani observatory next. Sophocles' cousin, and my friend Molayne works there. He was my best man at the wedding." And suddenly the man screaming about an hour notice makes much more sense. Lillie flushes in remembrance of how he walked in on them in various states of undress.

They all greet Molayne who greets them all with enthusiasm, at least until it comes to Lillie.

"Ah, um..." he chuckles awkwardly when he sees Lillie. "I am so very sorry." He says, his face nearly matching Lillie's flushed face and brother is strangely silent beside her. His face could be carved out of stone as he slowly shifts Lillie behind him.

"Molayne..." Professor Kukui looks as if he is about to simultaneously laugh and scream. 

"Mew no!" Everyone turns to Ash only to find him missing. Pikachu stares blanky up at them, he takes a deep breath and then shouts.

"PIKAPI!!!!!!!!" Then he takes off on Charizard's back.

"Somehow..." Lillie says, Brother looks exasperated as he presses his palms to his face. "It feels like Nebby's teleporting game." Everyone slowly laughs as if remembering the scary yet fun trips.

Molayne gives them a brief detour as they wait for Ash and Mew to return from wherever they went. And for Pikachu and Charizard to come back as well.

Ash and Mew reappear covered in vines. Ash sighs loudly as he plucks the vines off and coils them up.

"Pretty sure they weren't personally calling me." Mew giggles and settles down on his shoulder as a Pikachu.

"Pikachu's going to be really mad at you." Ash blinks when he notices them and smiles. "Mew took me to see Jessie and James because they said my name outloud." And that was that, even Ash is subjectable to the whims of gods.

"A shooting star!" Mallow cried out and everyone began to make wishes, though Ash's were worded strangely. 

"Those are Minior, they land over there-" Lillie sees Professor Kukui wave them off as he makes his way into to the observatory. She hopes he didn't put too much pressure on his leg this morning on Mount Lanakila.

They follow behind Sophocles and witness the beautiful colors of the Minior shower. Ash gets swept off his feet by Charizard and laughs as he tries to calm his most overprotective pokemon.

Rotom tells them about Minior, Sophocles tells them about a Minior he had been friends with while his cousin stands behind him.

Suddenly she sees Sophocles crying, so much hurt and loneliness it nearly overwhelms her. She quickly turns to look at him but he shoots her a confused little smile, she glances towards Ash and sees that he is watching Sophocles as well. His expression is serious as he gives her a minute shake of his head. She keeps quiet at his behest and makes her way towards brother.

They watch Poipole dance around and between the Minior with a laugh. It spins as if it didn't have a care in the world. It was almost like watching Nebby. So young and impressionable. Free and curious about everything.

"Poipolepoi!" They were lead down to a Minior still in its shell. Ash is set down and when he makes to help out the Minior, Molayne stops him. She can feel something from him, it's a strange feeling that she can't decipher and the feeling coming from Sophocles feels buried.

"We could just take it back to the observatory then, right?" Molayne agrees and promptly chokes when Ash hauls the Minior up.

"Minior..." he stares, really stares at Ash and smiles. "Never mind." Kiawe stands beside Ash and holds out his arms. Ash passes the Minior over, quickly catching it and Kiawe when he tips over with the weight. Ash looks down at his hand with a curious expression.

"That hasn't happened in a while." He muses with a quirk of his lips.

Lillie wonders how much he can carry.

"Wonder how much he can carry." Brother mutters softly under his breath, she smiles at him as they walk behind Ash. He murmurs soothingly to the Minior and to Poipole.

Ash opts to stay awake, Lillie ponders to herself if it has anything to do with Sophocles.

"Tomorrow, Lillie." He tells her as he stares at Poipole and makes his way outside. Poipole settles down beside the Minior and Professor Kukui calls lights out.

The next morning they are all woken up by the sound of Poipole screaming. Then it stops suddenly but everyone is already awake. 

"Shhh!" She hears and she can't help but giggle as Ash is lecturing Poipole softly under his breath. Poipole looks properly scolded by the time Professor Kukui clears his throat. Ash flushes and smiles awkwardly.

"Uh, sorry?" He asks, and then completely shifts their attention to the Minior.

Lillie easily makes her way to Ash's side and waits patiently. She waits as they eat breakfast and he picks at his food until he finishes the whole plate. She waits at his side as they peer through the telescope, even when he is last in line. She waits as they go outside and play tag.

Brother is really competitive. And Ash cheerfully chases after all of them. Ash catches her when she can feel a wave of melancholy from the tree Sophocles sits under.

"You saw it too?" He asks, she nods and he pushes aura into his hand, the hand still wrapped around her wrist.

_Sophocles is smiling as he watches the Minior drift skyward._

"It's an echo. Imprinted into his mind and buried." He explains softly as he takes a step back once he releases her hand. "Sometimes people experience something so painful, they just want to forget it." Ash takes another step back and glances at her ear, she brushes her hair over her ear and pauses. _Oh._

"We're going to be here." She says firmly as she looks towards Sophocles, his cousin stands by his side with a smile and pain in his heart. She looks away from him and smiles as she ties back her hair.

"I'm it now." Ash grins and takes off, and their game resumes. 

She knew how these things worked. Sophocles didn't need them right now, he wasn't ready and until he was, they had to be respectful and let _him_ be the one to come to them.

So they played tag. And then pokebase...

"I forgot to not hit it so hard." Ash laughs sheepisly, and promptly falls face first onto the floor as he is hit by his own ball from behind.

"Thanks Hoopa." He says dryly as he pushes himself off the ground. The Kalos mythical snickers.

"Were you suprised?" Ash brushes his shirt down.

"I was very surprised." He confirms, Poipole is drawn away from the Minior by Hoopa. 

"Ashkan has a new friend? Wait, _oh."_ Hoopa drifts backwards from Poipole with a scared look. "Ashkan?" Ash looks between the two with a look of confusion that gives way to understanding.

"Ultra wormholes interfere with your portals don't they?" Hoopa nods as they dash away from Poipole. Poipole takes this as an invitation to play and begins to chase the mythical around.

"Is this okay?" Lillie asks, Ash shrugs but doesn't seem particularly bothered. Ash holds out his hand, she rests her palm on his and sees Hoopa's portal and what it looks like to travel through it 

"It's similar to the ultra wormholes but not." She says in surprise. Lana clears her throat as she holds the bat in one hand, Lillie carefully takes the bat and watches Ash play peacemaker between Hoopa, Mew and Poipole. Hoopa no longer looks uneasy.

"If there's a world on the other side of ours, ultra space. Then what would the space between our reality and their reality be called?" Lana shrugs.

"Oumuamua, Hoopa is a scout in a way." Lillie nods and takes a stance. Kiawe calls out his pitch, throwing softly and she swings with everything she has and misses.

"I can do it! Pitch again!" She stares down at the ball and then brother is kicking his toes between her feet, shifting her shoulders and poking between her shoulders with two fingers until she loosens up and then walks away. She swings and hits the ball, it goes flying towards the hill.

"I did it!" Lillie shouts breathlessly, Mallow cheers her on and Lana is shouting for her turn next. Kiawe is screaming and brother smirks at her.

"Lunch is ready!" Professor Kukui calls out, everyone breaks off from the game, just when Lillie was going to run towards third base. She pouts but gives up her postion, brother gets out of his batting stance and slings the bat over his shoulder as he makes his way towards the hill and Ash is fast asleep on the grassy hill with his pokemon.

Charizard peers at them with one eye and scoops Ash up into his arms to follow them, Ash meanwhile is none the wiser as he curls around Mew, Hoopa, Scraggy and Poipole. Lillie makes her way towards Sophocles to check on him, he smiles up at her when he sees her. She smiles back at him to let him know she was here for him should he need her. He seemed to understand.

"Thanks." She nods and keeps quiet when Kiawe shoots her a questioning look. Molayne blinks at her in surprise before smiling gratefully.

Lunch is a quiet affair, Minior and Poipole play together until Minior flies off in a huff. Ash is by Poipole's side to sooth the small ultra beast, teaching them as he had once taught Nebby. Poipole paints a Minior on the wall, Ash groans and gently takes hold of Poipole to once more lecture the ultra beast about painting on other people's property.

Professor Kukui laughs at the sight, Lillie giggles when Ash looks up at them mid lecture. He resumes his lecture as he proceeds to clean the mural after he and Rotom took a picture.

Ash was one of a kind.

Professor Kukui and Molayne walk off talking about the Minior, Sophocles looks after them with a strange look on his face. She reaches out to rest her hand on his shoulder, when he looks up at her, she squeezes his shoulder. He nods thoughtfully.

Watching the Minior rise up is a breathtaking sight. Minior of every color float in place, glowing like luminous stars within reach. That feeling comes back, Sophocles softly explains to them what happens to Minior and her heart is crushed beneath sorrow and loneliness. There is a soft weary acceptance but it doesn't come from Sophocles.

Poipole flits about as they go from Minior to Minior, her heart aches. Ash is silent, looking down while his pokemon look away from him. He sighs, wilting as if he were carrying a heavy weight, but when he takes his next breath he stands tall and looks up towards Poipole.

Sophocles stands beside, eyes shining with love and sorrow in equal measure. Professor Kukui comes to a stop a few feet away from Ash and watches the Minior slowly fade away.

"Remembering the fact that they were together." Ash's expression is carefully blank as he looks at Poipole, not the Minior.

"Is one of the duties of those who shared those times." He says, she can see a Lucario fading away. Ash crying as he clings desperately to a paw, it abruptly ends and Ash steps forward when Poipole comes crying. He says nothing as his arms gently envelope the young ultra beast.

This loss was hurting them all. Some felt it more keenly than other; Mallow, Kiawe and Sophocles being the main ones that felt this loss. And others felt it softly; Lana, Molayne, and Professor Kukui, though with him she was sure that it had to do with Anakala.

Brother felt as he always did, muted and at the same time indifferent. He glanced at her and held out his hand, she grasped it and felt his sadness. He looked up and suddenly she could remember Father's absence, her loneliness when brother had left, the sorrow that plagued her when mother had once again refused to come home. She squeezed his hand as she returned her gaze to the Minior fading away like dreams.

Poipole's loss felt stronger, but in a way different from Mallow, Kiawe and Sophocles. It felt similar to Ash's sadness. It was soft, understanding, regretful and painfully lonely.

It was as if heartbreak went hand in hand with love.

Loss, she realizes, can be felt in many ways. All of them equally heartbreaking to see and feel. 

"It's Rayquaza!" Lana calls out suddenly, Lillie looks up and sees the great dragon of Hoenn in the sky.

"Going to say hi?" Ash's voice cuts through their awe and then Rayquaza flies towards them. It stops so suddenly they are nearly swept off their feet if Mew hadn't used psychic.

The great green dragon stares at them, Mew is petting its snout and Ash is grinning up at the legendary.

"Take good care of the Minior." He says, the dragon nods as it slowly coils itself and bounces hard, springing skyward and is off. A coiling writing mass that sweeps away the life of the Minior.

Ash mutters something under his breath with his palms pressed together. His pokemon and Mew copy him, Hoopa presses a hand to their chest and Poipole waves.

They stay on the hill long after the lights fade away.

It's only through the efforts of Ash, Professor Kukui and Molayne that they leave the hill and head to the Observatory.

Sophocles thanks her before he heads to bed. Lillie waits as one by one the others fall asleep. She slips out of bed, Gladion is already by the door with a blanket and she has her own blanket.

She reaches out and finds Ash at the very edge of her senses. She grabs hold of her brother's hand and tugs him towards Ash. They find him sitting under the stars with his pokemon asleep behind him. Poipole lays in his lap with dried tears. Ash blinks and looks down from the stars. He stares at them for a second before his eyes water, slowly a smile is etches itself across his features.

Loneliness and sorrow, joy and family hit her. It was like what she had felt earlier. To love was to experience heartbreak no matter what. But finding that love, even if it was pain in the end, is worth it. Because you can share those joyful times, carry them, and revel in the love that had been.

Brother tugs her forward until they drop down at his side and spread the blankets around them. Ash doesn't cry. He leans against them and goes back to looking at the stars.

They watch the stars for a long time.

Professor Kukui is sitting beside them when she opens her eyes. He smiles at her and passes her a thermos with hot chocolate, he holds two more that he passes to Ash and Brother.

"Thanks." They chime as they drink out if their thermoses. Poipole looks better this morning, the young ultra beast plays with Hoopa and Mew.

"Rough night?" He asks, and surprisingly, it wasn't. 

"We were okay." Brother answers him, stretching and idly tying his hair into a loose ponytail. Ash nods as he searches for his hat, Mew plops it down onto his head as they pass by with Hoopa and Poipole in tow.

His eyes cross as he looks up at his hat, Lillie laughs as brother and Professor Kukui reach out to adjust his hat for him. They all break out into laughter.

* * *

Gladion stands alone in the mountain cavern that was supposed to be their shortcut. He idly kicks a rock and watches it roll away until it hit the cavern wall.

"Things have gotten so lively." He says aloud before calling out his pokemon. Umbreon and Lycanroc instantly take point while Silvally looks around for a threat and Zoroark stares at him.

"I was separated from the others when Turtonaur's explosion was triggered." Zoroark nods and seamlessly shifts into an additional Lycanroc. 

"Umbreon find Lillie, Lycanroc lead us out of here, Zoroark find Ash, Silvally keep an eye out." Gladion looks at his phone and sighs when he can't get a signal.

His pokemon rush off as he follows behind Lycanroc with Silvally at the rear. He walks softly, keeping his steps in time with Lycanroc's and Silvally's so as to make no more noise. He listens, faint echoes drifting through holes around him. 

Lycanroc and Silvally both stopped and place. Gladion shut his eyes as he took a deep breath and held it. He listened.

There's a rumbling sound, he can hear faint crashing sounds and explosions.

 _"LILLIE!!"_ Mallow shrieks, the crashing sounds slowly come to a stop and then he can hear another explosion, this one comes from the other side.

He lets out the breath as he opens his eyes. Gladion raises his fingers to his lips and blows, a sharp piercing whistle travels throughout the cave system.

A low pitched whistle calls back, followed by a wavering whistle noise that sounded similar to a bird call. Gladion shifts in place, Lycanroc and Silvally look at him and he wavers.

Ash was strong. _But strength couldn't mask the hesitation._

Lillie was brave. _But she was still so timid._

He had already sent off Umbreon and Zoroark. 

Gladion wasn't needed. They could look after themselves. _Had_ looked after themselves for years.

But they wavered.

"Lycan." Gladion looked up, when had he looked down? Lycanroc swayed in place and took a step towards one of the holes in the cavern that was just big enough that he could squeeze through. He held out his paws and waited.

Gladion recalled Silvally and stepped onto Lycanroc's paws, recalling the canine once he was safely in the hole. He crawled, pausing to listen every few feet until he reached the exit. With careful maneuvering he made it out and onto the other side.

"Gladion?" Gladion glanced around and saw Lana with Popplio, Rotom, Pikachu, Marowak and Turtonaur. He heaved a sigh of relief as he called out his pokemon once more.

"Were you hurt?" Lana shakes her head, scanning him for injuries, when she was satisfied she begins walking off.

Somehow they keep winding up in front of tunnels that have many corridors and Lana points unerringly in one direction. He looks at her and _knows_ she is finding water each time she picks a direction.

"Wait." He tells her as he holds out his arm, Silvally snorts, cantering left then right. He pulls out his phpne but it still shows no signal. He hears the sound of a beast ball enlargening and follows her example as they carefully move away from the tunnel she picked and went towards the one Silvally picked.

"Popplio." She calls out, Pikachu is ready to fight as he sparks and warily steps ahead of them. Turtonaur and Marowak also step ahead of them.

Pheromosa!

He barely manages to toss himself over Lana as the ultra beast attacks and triggers an explosion. He pulls Lana under him and covers his head as the walls come crumbling down.

"-dion. Gladion." He feels dizzy as he slowly comes to. He rubs away the gritty feeling on his face and sees Lana frowning at him. He looks around and see Pheromosa pinned under a few pounds of rock.

"I can't catch her with all those boulders." She says, beast ball latching onto the ultra beast before it failed.

"Are you hurt?" He asks, rubbing his arms as he checks on the pokemon. Pikachu is face down on the floor pounding his fist into the floor.

"No, Lycanroc protected us and Pikachu used iron tail repeatedly to try and minimize the damage. I think he hurt his tail." Gladion digs into his pockets and fishes out his first aid pouch. He winces as Lana pokes him behind his ear.

"You're bleeding." Gladion undoes his hair and feels around the back of his head. He finds a bump, it's bleeding alright. "Pass me the gauze." Gladion passes her gauze as well as some bandages which she carefully uses to hold the gauze in place. He makes his way to Pikachu, stumbling only once before he is helped to the floor by Lana.

"Pikachu." Pikachu looks up with teary eyes as he looks back to his tail. His ears twitch about and he scrabbles at the floor, Gladion winces as he sees how red his tail is. He sighs and carefully gathers Pikachu into his arms, careful to not move his tail.

"I'll hold Pikachu, can you spray the base and middle of his tail with the hi potion?" Lana nods and rubs Pikachu's head and nods solemnly at him. He slowly moves Pikachu's tail out and winces as Pikachu grunts in pain, trembling and valiantly holding back from shocking them.

"Sorry." Gladion whispers, rubbing Pikachu's head as Lana binds his tail with a hastily crafted splint. Gladion awkwardly settles Pikachu into his hood to avoid him getting in the way and getting hurt, the weight threw him off a little more than his dizziness.

"Silvally, Lycanroc, help clear the rubble. Turtonaur and Marowak-" Lana caught him and helped him flip his hoodie so the hood rested against his chest and leaned him back against the wall.

"Marowak, Turtonaur, Popplio, clear the rubble behind us. Carefully." Gladion wearily pulled his knees to his chest and made sure Pikachu was comfortable as his head pounded with all the additional noise.

Gladion flinched as a hand pressed against his head. He could see Lana frowning, he checked on the ultra beast and saw that very little progress had been made.

"I don't think you should sleep." He nods and shifts so that his legs are crossed. He checks on Pikachu and sees that his tail is still held out still as he gives himself a bath.

"Thank you for helping us Pikachu." Pikachu pauses and smiles at him quickly returning to his grooming.

Gladion looked around and saw a small opening above him, he let out a sharp whistle and waited. A low pitched whistle called back, it sounded close. It was followed by a warbling whistle that was much farther away.

"Is that Ash and Lillie?" Gladion nods, Lana hums thoughtfully.

"We should use whistles to communicate with each other. Come up with our own secret code to help us out when we need to take care of ultra beasts when out in the public." Gladion nods, so far they have been pretty lucky to keep the ultra beast attacks under wraps. 

"You're right. After we get out of here and get back on the boat we should tell the others." She nods, freezing as they both look back towards the ultra beast when they heard an ominous crack. The ultra beast is standing up.

"Lana." She nods as she helps him stand up without once taking her eyes off the ultra beast. They walk backwards towards Turtonaur in warning when it takes a step towards them.

"This can go one of two ways." Gladion says reaching out towards Turtonaur's spike while Lana holds up a beast ball. Pheromosa stares down at them, its lips curl back as it sneers and shifts in place before catching sight of Gladion's hand. It stays in placd and is pinned down by Silvally and Lycanroc. Lana tosses the beast ball, heaving a sigh of relief when they hear it click to signal its capture.

"Silvally?" Silvally slowly turns in a full circle and nods at him. He moves away from Turtonaur and waits for the cave to be cleared. He can hear rock shifting on the other side at the same time he hears a low pitched whistle when there is an opening.

"Gladion?" Gladion grabs hold of the hand. "And Lana too?" Lana pats Ash's hand and then they all help to clear the rubble.

"Kiawe, return Turtonaur." Lana calls out when they have a good enough opening to fit most of them. Gladion recalls Silvally at the same time that Kiawe returns Turtonaur.

"Lana, Gladion are you hurt?" Kiawe asks, pausing when he sees Gladion. Lana shakes her head and climbs up the rubble, Kiawe helps her down and reaches back when Gladion passes him Popplio and Rotom. Marowak climbs up himself and Lycanroc helps him up while he keeps one arm pinned to his chest to hold Pikachu still.

Kiawe and Ash help him down and Lycanroc lands behind him. Ash worriedly prods around his head wound before resting his palm on Gladion's cheek. He feels much more clear headed after that.

"Pikachu hurt his tail." Gladion whispers as he passes the electric mouse over to Ash. Ash nods as his fingers flutter around the tail, he opts to carry Pikachu after that.

"Lycanroc, Scraggy and Bayleef are further down this way, and Charizard is somewhere near Lillie, Mallow, and Sophocles." Ash said as he gestures around. They follow after Lana and Ash. One following the ocean and the other no doubt using Kukui to navigate out.

"Lillie's coming." Ash says abruptly as he stops and looks at the wall on their right. "Charizard is with her. Ah. Bayleef is outside." He says turning back towards the tunnel that Lana had picked out.

"Let's get going then, and maybe no more shortcuts." Gladion says, the others agree instantly.

Lillie takes one look at him and blanches. She and Snowy are at his side within the blink of an eye. She fusses over him, refuses to let him walk the rest of the way and Snowy offers to carry him but Zoroark shifts into a Mudsdale and takes him instead.

"I think we should make up signals using whistles." Lana blurts out when the others look at her, Ash and Lillie agree.

"Like back in the cave! Remember when i whistled?" Kiawe nods, Sophocles and Mallow nod as well.

"I was answering Brother's call." He can see how the others see the value of their plan as they begin to think about what codes would need to be used, and what situations would dictate the signals.

They keep up the conversation until they reach the ship and Kukui is helping him off Mudsdale, hands gently searching for wounds. He cradles Gladion's face with both his palms as he stares into his eyes.

"We'll go to the doctor when we reach Mele Mele, but for now it looks like you're okay." He looks relieved, keeping an arm around Gladion's shoulder as he gave the others a once over.

"Anyone else hurt?" He asks, everyone shakes their head and his relief is palpable as he ushers them onto the boat.

"I should text Burnet and Anakala." Gladion mutters, he sighs when he drops his phone. Ash passes it back to him and types with his tongue sticking out a little bit. Lillie does the same on his other side.

"Done." They say together. Gladion smiles at them, leaning further into Kukui when Lana presents the beast ball. His arm tugs him closer and Gladion feels safe. 

Lillie and Ash didn't always need him to look out for them. But they needed to know that they had _someone_ in their corner should they need it. And he had people to lean on when he was at his weakest. He could be _vulnerable._

He loved his family both new and old. They were so much stronger together, and it was their strength that helped them overcome so much.

He knows that Ash was going to overcome his aversion to Kalos. It would take time, and peace of mind that they could give him by taking on the ultra beasts in his stead.

"That's right!" Lillie says suddenly and suddenly she is holding up an icium z. "Snowy and i participated in a tag team battle with a totem sandshrew that evolved into a sandslash." Gladion thought about the z ring sitting on her desk and knew he made the right decision to give it to her. She was so strong.

"I love Alola." Ash says as he leans against the rails and tilts his head to the sun.

Gladion sighs, he feels content here. His life is in Alola and he can't imagine leaving it, but if he could look for father, he knows he will take the chance.

Lillie would come with him.

Anakala and Plumie would support them.

Kukui and Burnet would support them.

And that is all the approval he needs.

* * *

Ash instinctively knows that this dream is not his. This pain in his heart is not his.

That this unknown being is an ultra beast. And it is so very sad.

It croons softly. This memory reeks of long held sorrow, it holds its own tale that not even aura sight can translate.

Ash sits up just in time to see Poipole exit his room through the window. Ash climbs out of bed, Pikachu sleepily wakes, Ash tucks him back in and slips out the window. He climbs onto the roof and looks at Poipole staring up at the moon. 

"Can i sit down with you?" Poipole nods sadly, a weight sits in his chest as he sits down at the edge of the roof and gathers Poipole into his arms. "Whatever it is, I'm here." Poipole snuggles closer to him. Together they both stare up at the moon until the loneliness recedes.

Ash sits with Poipole as the sun rises, Mew joins them just as the sun rises from the ocean and colors the sky orange. Ash climbs down from the roof after that and makes his way inside to wash his face and brush his teeth.

Ash is battling with his pokemon. Charizard and Bayleef watch from the sidelines as Rowlet faces off against Torracat and Scraggy takes on Lycanroc. Pikachu is keeping Poipole entertained.

"Alright Rowlet razor leaf! Torracat flame charge!" Ash calls out and then looks to Scraggy and Lycanroc. 

"Lycanroc accelerock! Scraggy use focus punch!" Ash punctuates his command by punching the air before him. And then behind him he hears a clash of steel. 

"That's fury attack!" Rotom shouts as Pikachu easily bats Poipolesl's fury attack with iron tail and encourages the small ultra beast to speed up.

"Alright! Poipole you're so amazing!!!" Ash laughs, Rotom is taking pictures, and then Ash feels the others coming to a stop to watch.

Poipole breaks off and then draws Pikachu in the sand with a thunder bolt. Ash catches poipole as the young ultra beast merrily spins in place. 

"You really love Pikachu! I can feel it!" Poipole laughs, and rubs their cheek to Pikachu's. Pikachu clings to Ash's shoulders and giggles.

"Ash!" Ash looks towards the house to see everyone with shopping bags. "We're going shopping!" Ash looks towards his pokemon and grins.

"Wait for us!" Ash holds out his arms on either side of his body and his pokemon line up.

"First one there gets to have first dibs at training with me!" Ash lowers his hands and runs.

And they run behind him, even poipole runs instead of flying. Ash laughs, as Rotom complains but runs behind them.

Ash stops in place. There's an aura that feels similar to Anabel's. But when he looks, it's a woman that is painting. Poipole seems drawn to her too.

"Ash?" Ash grabs hold of Lillie's reaching hand and she feels what he is feeling as her worry abruptly dissipates.

"We'll be back." Ash mutters absently and tugs Lillie behind him as he makes his way towards the strange woman who feels so familiar but is not. There is a ribombee that radiates fondness and delight beside her.

Poipole doesn't seem to shock her, no, it's almost like she is aware that the young ultra beast is not dangerous. She smiles at them and Ash can see that see radiates peace and safety. She was nature, kind and all encompassing and capable of defending with the temperament of a slap on the wrist that made you realize the error of your ways.

It was all very confusing to feel.

"Oh... you're an aura adept aren't you?" She smiles at him and while he would normally feel on edge at that proclamation he simply nods at her. He knows that she won't bring him danger, would defend him should he need it.

She wasn't an aura adept or aura sensitive like Lillie. She wasn't psychic like Sabrina, maybe she was empathic like Anabel and Sheena. But in a different way.

Ash held out his hand before he even realized it. She smiles and grabs his hand. 

"You feel really peaceful." She isn't surprised, she just smiles at him and thanks him.

"Ribombee finds you pleasant as well." She says and then Ribombee lands on his hand, glowing, warmth connects to him. It travels up his arm to his heart and travels back to Ribombee who lands on Mina's outstretched finger. She nods in agreement.

"Yes. Mmhm. You are a peaceful one." Ash stares at his hand and then smiles. She was an empath, not by nature but through opening her aura to ribombee and feeling the world around her. She expressed it through her art.

"Ash! School starts in twenty minutes!" Ash gathers his pokemon as Mina laughs.

"Bye Mina! See you later!" Ash and Lillie rush off to the jeep and he frantically puts the bags he is carrying into the back.

Ash was shaping his clay to look like Pikachu as he and Lillie regaled the others with descriptions of Mina's art.

"Her ribombee is adorable!" Lillie exclaims as she sculpts Snowy. Gladion whistles in a low pitch that quickly rises, Ash looks up and shrieks.

"MEW NO!!!!" But it is too late as he is drenched from head to toe with water. Ash spits out water and fishes Scraggy out of his shirt. He looks at his puddle of clay.

"You could have just told me to add more water." He knows he's not the best at arts and crafts, but that was just plain rude.

"Well..." Ash wipes the water off his desk and face plants, Kukui-hakase taps his hat a few times.

"Luckily i already took a look at your sculpture." Ash huffs. "I'll give it a solid B, you did end up making a perfect Mimikyu." He was going to give it to Jessie when he realized that he had failed in making Pikachu.

"Pikapi." Ash turns so that his cheek rests on the desk and looks at Pikachu. He sits up a little snickering as Pikachu makes a ditto.

"Thanks buddy." He says as he rubs Pikachu's cheek with his thumb. He chirps and then gestures for Scraggy to help him. Ash laughs as Scraggy strikes a pose and Pikachu scrambles to make a perfect likeness. 

Ash is struck by a sudden and familiar melancholy. He moves away from his desk to see Poipole expressing their sorrow. He can see the figure once more lying on some type of pedestal. 

"Hey." Ash gently reaches out to Poipole, Poipole buries their face in his chest. "I've got you." He murmurs as he cradles the sad ultra beast. Gladion takes pictures of the board and wipes it clean for him. Ash moves towards the balcony and sits out in the sun.

Torracat and Charizard sit near him to help him dry up, while Lana and Mallow clean up his desk. Mew drops down to sit on his knee while offering Poipole a few pats on the back.

He tilts his head back and soaks up the sun. 

Whatever it was that was burdening Poipole, he would do his best to help carry that burden. 

Poipole flitted about while Mew followed behind in the form of a Pikpek. Ash watches Lillie search out Mina, her aura concentrating on picking out a single aura out of an ocean. Ash pokes her, her aura twitches but follows the path he lays out.

He still has trouble using aura in the way Sir Aaron had shown him, but this was something that was easy to show Lillie how to do. She's been doing it most of her life to avoid pokemon.

"Wait, is that it?" She asks, fingers twitching as she finds Mina's aura. Ash pokes her again, she sees clearly for a second as he moves away from. He can see her eyes narrow as she follows the path laid out before her. The aura a faded imprint in the earth but still radiating just enough for her to feel where Mina had walked.

He wonders again, how he could have dismissed aura. It's strange to think about. And yet at the same time, he remembers how much it had hurt losing Lucario and later on saying goodbye to Riolu.

Maybe he had been afraid of aura. 

He takes a moment to marvel at his progress with aura, Pikachu smiles at him as if understanding and Scraggy pats his hand to get his attention. He trails behind Kiawe as Mina comes into view. Poipole dives down to greet her with cheer.

Ash stops in place and stares at the back of her canvas. It feels like home. He looks up at Mina and she smiles as she turns her canvas around.

"It's us." He says, it cements the feeling of home. She had captured their essence and framed it. It was amazing. Like the glass figurines Mateo made on sunburst island. Her empathy was different from Anabel, from Sheena and Damos. 

He reaches out and touches the canvas and sees through her eyes how she saw them. What had called him to her. He smiles.

"An Alolan family!" Ash agrees, this was his Alolan family. Poipole excitedly draws symbols on the floor.

"Poipole really like like loves it!/really loves it!"

Ash blinks at Mina when he realizes that they had spoken at the same time. He grins when she smiles at him.

"Mina! Mina!" Ash blinks when he sees members of team Skull. They feel familiar, not enough that he had memorized their aura, but just enough that he has been around them a few times. They pause when they see him and glance at Gladion?

He smirks but says nothing, Ash shrugs it off and looks back at the photo.

"We brought our own sketch books!" Ash looks at the drawings that they eagerly show Mina, she compliments them all and he can feel that she really means it even when they make fun of each other.

While they squabble and end up getting into fist fights Ash picks up their sketchpads while Gladion breaks up the fight.

"I like them!" Ash grins brightly as he holds up the drawings. It had taken him a lot of practice and he was nowhere near Tracy's level but it was a past time for him.

"I think you guys are really talented!" Gladion finally settles them down and Mina has a few stools set up beside her.

"I've been giving these three lessons if you kids wanted to participate." Ash thinks about Poipole's drawings of Pikachu and smiles.

"Okay!"

Kukui-hakase comes to a stop beside him, Ash continues his drawing as Pikachu keeps Poipole entertained.

"That's pretty good." Ash hums as he closes his eyes and pictures Goodra before opening his eyes and resuming his sketch.

"Wow, this is amazing Lillie. Yours is turning out pretty well Sophocles." A hand rests against his hat briefly. "I can see how much devotion you put in yours Kiawe. Stenee looks great Mallow." Kukui-hakase passes behind him.

"Wonderful waves Lana. I can see your Silvally coming along Gladion." Kukui-hakase sounds really proud of them.

Ash sets his pencil down and flips his sketchpad towards his pokemon. Poipole floats closer to look.

"These are all my friends Poipole! And this one is you." Ash says pointing to his small poipole. Poipole begins to point towards his pokemon and Ash tells him about them. Pointing out the pokemon he has on him first. And then introducing the ones that haven't come home. Like Pidgeot, Nebby, Primape, Goodra, Larvitar, Butterfree, Greninja, Lapras, squirtle, and his Riolu friend.

"That's really good." Ash looks up to see that everyone had crowded around him to meet his pokemon. Ash felt his cheeks heat up at all the attention. He knows his drawings weren't great, and that a lot of people criticized his drawings.

"You certainly have a lot of pokemon." Mina smiles at him, patting his shoulder when she slowly reached out and waited for permission to touch him. "I can see how much attention to detail you put." Ash glances at his drawing.

"It's because their my family from all around." Ash grins as he tells everyone about his pokemon. Their likes and dislikes. Their hobbies. If they had families. Poipole sits on his lap and stares at the drawing with wide eyes.

That night when they get home Poipole draws them. All of them. And Ash can feel that Poipole has called them _home._

Their drawing on the ceiling though. That one made him shiver, it was like a call to his aura. Or rather his aura called to it and felt nothing in response.

Burnet-hakase makes them breakfast. Ash helps her this time! She laughs when he gets the words for the song wrong but sings along with him anyways.

She offers to drive them to school but Kukui-hakase tells her he was getting used to walking on his leg and it was good exercise.

Lillie, Gladion and Kukui-hakase walk ahead of him while Ash laughs to himself as his pokemon run around him. Rotom is trying to convince him that he can't be energized like this for the rest of the day until his battle with Kiawe.

It's funny because Rotom is always underestimating him.

Ash freezes in place when his aura fluctuates. His pokemon look towards him, it doesn't happen again. He shrugs his shoulders then looks up just as Tapu Koko floats into view.

"You want to have another battle? Well alright! Pikachu!" Pikachu trills eagerly, always ready to test his strength against the god. Ash pouts when Tapu Koko flies and they have to give chase again.

"Ash!" Kukui-hakase calls out.

"We'll be back!" Ash reassures him while he runs off to chase the god. He hears someone follow behind him and thinks it's Gladion but pays it no mind.

Ash tosses his backpack off, his pokemon fan out to watch and Rotom starts recording. 

As the battle progresses, his aura fluctuates again and Ash can feel something just as Pikachu and Tapu Koko's attacks collide. Ash dives for Pikachu when everything turns on its head. 

A nose prods at his forehead, a paw rubs his hair until he opens his eyes. Before he opens his eyes he can feel that everything is wrong. The ground beneath him is angry and writhing like a pit of angry Ekans. He sees sand.

He sees ruins.

He feels several small presences of pokemon scattered about. 

A large void, eating away at what remained of the desolate world.

Greninja is gone.

His aura is _wrong._

 _This_ is wrong!

This is his **nightmare** come to life.

Desert wastelands, ruins, destruction of all life. 

_He had done this!_

_His aura!_

He can't see, he is blind. He pushes his aura into the ground is violently rebounded, roots spring out of the ground.

Red, pulsating roots and a roar echos in the back of his mind.

Madness pushes its ways into his mind as he loses all feeling to the world around him.

Ash covers his eyes and screams.


End file.
